Link to Entry One: Zeke and Lily - Her Diary (Entry One)
Link to Entry Two: http://www.wetset.net/dg-bbs/messages/14199.htm
Link to Entry Three: http://www.wetset.net/dg-bbs/messages/14417.htm
Link to Entry Four: http://www.wetset.net/adultbaby-bbs/messages/110305.htm
Entry 5 –
This whole day was a lot of fun. Never in my life did I imagine that a little humiliation would be enjoyable. But it was. And Zeke had no idea that I felt that little bit of embarrassment. Well, he sort knew, but not really. Let me explain what happened.
This morning, we went shopping for groceries. It’s about the only thing we do where I get to be in charge. He is really clueless about grocery shopping. I don’t know how he was able to get groceries before I lived with him.
For example, I sent him to find peanuts and raisins and he didn’t come back for twenty minutes. And the funny part was when he can back he was really proud of himself. He struggled to find them and now that he did, his shoulders were very broad. He makes me laugh when he does things like that.
But most of what we bought was baby food. Zeke even let me choose what we got. I was having such a great time deciding what I wanted. I walked up and down the aisle and read every single label. Finally, I decided to load up on the “Graduate Entrees”. You name the menu choice and I got one of it.
I was a good girl and behaved myself in public. And he made certain I was wearing a dress this time. I think I spooked him a little when we went to CVS the other day and I ran into the store after him in a t-shirt and diaper. He probably didn’t believe I would do that. I still can’t believe I did it. To avoid a repeat, he made certain that I had clothing on this time. lol
We got lunch at McDonald’s and then drove over to Long’s Park. The day was warm enough. So we walked out onto the gazebo at the pond and ate lunch there while we watched the ducks swimming around.
The McDonald’s food was fun, but dessert was even better. Zeke had bought some chocolate peanut butter at the grocery store. I had never heard of it before, but Zeke said his father became addicted to the stuff towards the end of his life. We also bought red apples. They were actually apples that were called Rambo apples. They didn’t taste any different, but Zeke likes Sylvester Stallone. So he buys these apples all the time.
I sat on his lap and leaned back onto his chest. He got out his pocket knife and skinned the apples because I don’t like the skins and then he sliced the apples up. I dipped them in the chocolate peanut butter and fed them to him and me.
Let me tell you, if you haven’t tried chocolate peanut butter, I suggest you do. It’s incredible stuff. We ate the entire bag of apples and then I cleaned the rest of the jar out with my fingers until it was all gone.
We headed back home and Zeke put the groceries away after he laid me down in my crib for my afternoon nap, but today my nap was much earlier than normal so I knew something was up.
Are you following me so far? This is where the day got interesting.
Zeke woke me up and I was still tired for some reason. I don’t know why, but Zeke could tell and he picked me in his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, hugging him for dear life. I needed some cuddling from him at that moment and the kind of attention that would make me feel better. Hopefully, it would make me wake up, too. Only Zeke knows how to touch my heart. More and more, I realize how much I need him in my life.
I could’ve just asked him if I could sleep a little bit longer. That probably would’ve made me feel better, too. But when I’m asleep, that’s time that I could be spending with him. Even if I’m sleeping next to him, wrapped in his arms and resting on his chest, it’s still wasted time because we’re sleeping. Besides, my afternoon naps are just supposed to be naps, not a full night of sleep.
He sat down on the rocking chair in my nursery and placed me across his lap. I leaned my head back on his right arm, conveniently supporting me from behind and serving as a nice pillow. For a few minutes, we just looked into each other’s eyes, silently. I like to look into his eyes and I like what I see behind his eyes. It brings me comfort and what really makes me feel good is that when I looked into his eyes today, the exact same love I saw on the day I met him was still there. He hasn’t changed … Well … he’s changed me (in more ways than one!). -giggle- But he hasn’t changed who he is. I find a lot of joy in that fact. Knowing that he is my rock … unwavering and permanent.
I reached up and touched his cheek. He closed his eyes and felt my tender fingertips tracing his jaw line. I was all ready feeling better. He leaned forward and placed a very soft kiss on my forehead, then my nose (which made me laugh) and then my chin.
Since that day I got sick last week, I have taken a liking to apple juice. I still like milk and I drink whatever he puts in my bottle, but he knows that I like apple juice after waking up. Holding a bottle of apple juice in his left hand, he slipped his left pinky finger into the little loop handle of my pacifier. He pulled the pacifier out and touched the nipple of the bottle to my lips and said: “Open.”
My heart raced into a pounding beat at the sound of his voice. It was one simple word, one simple command, but it did so much to me that I opened my lips and took the nipple into my mouth without even thinking about it. I lie there looking up at him as I swallowed the juice, as helpless and as vulnerable as could be.
My defenses were completely lowered. It was a goal that I wanted to reach, but never had before. It isn’t easy to give up control of yourself, entirely. Yes, the fantasy is very sweet to think about, but the reality is a lot more difficult to make happen. But I had finally reached it. I was without hesitation. He could have done anything he wanted to me at that moment and I would have submitted to all of it. It was a feeling that even overpowered my constantly over-thinking mind. I lie there in his arms and awaited his commands. I wanted him to give me an order so I could show him how obedient I was.
But he never ordered me to do anything out of the ordinary. Zeke doesn’t do that and maybe it’s because I know he won’t do it that I really want him to. Who knows? Maybe someday, huh? But how do I ask him to do that?
So I finished the bottle and he sat me for the post-bottle burping session. I got up on my knees and gave him a big hug squeezing him around the neck as he patted my back and slowly rocked the chair. Apple juice doesn’t burp up as easy as milk, but it eventually happened. I was happy my burps were smaller and a little more girly this time. Sometimes when I burp I sound like an animal.
He stood up and placed me on the rocking chair as he walked over to the closet and began to pick out an outfit for me.
Ah-ha! I knew something was up when he put me down for a nap earlier than usual. We were going out somewhere and from the looks of the outfit he was putting together, I was going to be baby-dolled up, once again.
He placed the entire outfit on a chair and then walked over to me. I stretched my arms out to him as he lifted me up. I knew what it was time for and I need it too, especially since I had been sitting there on the chair, peeing while I watched him pick out my clothes.
There’s a strange, yet comforting feeling I get from sitting before him and peeing. At silly as it may sound, I’m doing something that seems naughty and that I should be ashamed of, but as his baby that isn’t the case. I get the little feeling as I do it and for a short while it is my secret until he discovers it.
Some of the best fun of all is when he doesn’t find out I’m wet a little while. Running around in just a diaper is a lot of fun. (Zeke lets me do that sometimes when I’ve behaved for him.) Sometimes we’ll play hide-n-go-seek, but he can always find me easily because he can hear my diaper crinkling as I run to hide. Other times, I’ll be sitting on my blanket watching TV and he’ll sneak up behind me and start tickling me. And let me tell you, Zeke’s tickling is much more intense when it’s on bare skin!
And then there’s even other times when I get to do those things and I’m wet. My diaper is heavier, but it doesn’t make running around any more difficult. It just makes the tickle session a greater risk for creating leaks. Hey, I can only be tickled for so long until I let it all go!
Though I had a wet diaper on this day, I wasn’t going to be running anywhere. Zeke was getting me ready for a trip. Onto the changing table I went, first getting the nightie lifted off me and then being made to lie down. I heard the diaper tapes being unfastened and my wet diaper being taken off me. And then I was naked … completely naked, except for a little nail polish I was wearing and a pair of earrings.
My bottom and legs were raised in the air and held there by Zeke’s hand. He’s not super strong, but he can do a lot. He wiped me clean and gave me that powder scent I love and then lowered my body back down onto the table and into my new diaper. The feeling of being wet feels nice for a while, but that first touch of the new diaper on my skin is a wonderful sensation.
My mind was starting to wander as I looked around the room. He could tell I was getting anxious. So he fastened my tapes and then began to tell me about the trip we were going to take. It was the perfect distraction I needed. And as he did this, he began to dress me.
He told me we were going to go do one of his favorite activities. (How vague is that? Lol)
He slid the red and black checkered mini skirt with the pleats up my legs and over my diaper. I knew right then and there that I was going to be a schoolgirl again. Zeke really, really likes the way I look in that outfit. I like the way I look in it too and the way it makes me feel to be seen in that outfit. But I’m glad that he doesn’t make me wearing the whit stocking with it all the time. For some reason, nylons and stocking are itchy to me. And besides, I just shaved my legs this morning.
Someday, I’m going to ask Zeke to shave my legs. I think that will be enjoyable, but he’s going to need to listen to my instructions when we do that!
So he sat me up and did his best at putting a bra on me. He’s really getting better at it. I don’t know why he struggles with it so much. My chest isn’t very big anyway, but a bra does give me that perkiness. Then came the white button down shirt, but this time he buttoned it and tuck the tails into my skirt. This made me wonder what his favorite activity was.
Then he helped me down off the changing table and what was this? He was having me walk! I couldn’t believe it! He led me back to the bedroom and over to my make-up table. Yay! I sat down and he set two white ribbons on the stand so I could put my hair into pigtails.
Zeke sat on the edge of the bed and watched me, patiently. I kept looking at him through the mirror and he kept winking at me with a big smile on his face. Have I mentioned how much I love him yet? He knows how much better I feel when I’m able to “put myself” together. You see, it’s easy for me to let myself go if I’m just going to spend the day with the man I love. But when I’m going out into public and will be seen by complete strangers, I need to make certain I look good. -giggle-
So I got right to it. First the foundation, then the blush (ya gotta have a little blush), the eyeliner, the mascara, and the lip gloss. I think it may have been the quickest I ever put my face together.
Then came the hair. I moved quickly on this so as to not make Zeke wait any longer and got the pigtails up and the ribbon tied around them. He would’ve waited longer if he had to, but I didn’t want to make him do that. I enjoyed having him watch me. His smile never faded as he watched. I finished and looked at myself in the mirror and I must admit I looked absolutely adorable.
Zeke and I have been doing some growing. It’s not about his control of me and my submission to him. It’s not about his “Daddy” to my “BabyGirl”. It’s about needs and wants, individually and together. He’s learning what I need and I’m learning what he wants. That kind of attentiveness to the most basic things has made all the difference in our world. And without even knowing it, we’ve grown.
I kind of think the schoolgirl outfit is simply what he “wants” me to wear, not what he “needs” me to wear, of course. lol But I don’t mind that. I thoroughly enjoy wearing it.
Zeke packed a complete second schoolgirl outfit in my diaper bag, just in case. We got in the car and drove west out of the city. I was guessing and guessing at what we were going to do, but not getting it right. I was trying to think of what was west of the city. There was a dinner theater over there, but Zeke hates those people. There were plenty of bars, but he wasn’t much for nights of drinking. It was eating me alive to not know where he was taking me.
We got onto Columbia Avenue and kept heading west. Then we turned into the parking lot of Leisure Lanes, a 24-hour bowling alley. I had no idea that Zeke liked bowling. He even had his own ball and shoes. I have to admit that I wasn’t all that excited to go bowling. It doesn’t interest me. But it was a nice Sunday afternoon activity and it sure beat watching football all day. Zeke was apparently all about bowling. I didn’t understand how “into it” he was. I found out.
We walked in and I got the usual looks from the guys in there. Being “checked out” is nothing new for me. All girls will attract attention, sometimes without even trying. My outfit kept everyone’s attention on me and it was fun. I stayed right by Zeke’s side, however. It doesn’t make sense to stray too far away from your protection, does it?
We got a lane at one of the ends of the building. There are 52 lanes at that place! And we walked past about 30 of them to get to our lane. Many, many eyes were on me. And then when Zeke told me to find a ball from one of the racks, I knew the eyes would multiply when I bent down. I think I was right. When I stood up and turned around, I think the entire building was looking at me.
We got to our lane and as I was putting my bowling shoes on, I watched Zeke warm up with a few practice frames. He has this long, elaborate wind up before he lets the ball go. It was right then that I discovered he doesn’t just like bowling, but he is very passionate about it. It may well be an obsession he has.
He’s actually a pretty good bowler, but he really, really gets way too into it. He whips that 16 pound ball of his down the lane with such a force that I fear he may break the pins. And on this night he bowled his best game ever. 235! He celebrated like he was crazy, but it was really fun to see him let loose and just have fun. Zeke is someone who always carries himself in a particular way. It was nice to see him break out of that mold.
I did okay … I think. I was lucky to find a four pound ball and I almost asked for the bumpers to be put up during my turn because I knew my game of bowling wasn’t going to be pretty, but I managed to bowl a 63! That would be my best game ever. I started celebrating like a crazy person, too. And I jumped up and down, deliberately, so my skirt would briefly flip up, revealing my secret.
We left the bowling alley and I asked when we could do this again. I didn’t think I’d have any fun, but I was wrong. My tummy felt a little bloated from all the Coca-Cola he had bought me. But the greatest fun of the day Zeke had reserved for the evening. He told me he had a surprise for me when we got home. I asked what it was and he said my heart would beat wildly when I saw what it was.
The whole ride home I bounced up and down with excitement and Zeke egged my excitement on by telling me that it may shock me to start but that I would quickly warm up all the possibilities it presented.
We pulled into the parking lot and I could hardly contain my excitement as we walked to his building and took the elevator up to his floor. He put my pacifier in my mouth, telling me not to squeal when I saw the surprise that awaited me. The elevator doors opened and he took me by the hand through the kitchen and into the living room.
I saw the surprise. I’m glad he was thinking to have a hand ready to catch my pacifier because it fell from my lips in disbelief. He was right. I was shocked to start, but before I could say anything I had all ready begun to dream up what the evening could have in store for me.
Sitting on the couch in our living room was my sister, Tay-Tay. Suddenly, my eyes were blinded by a bright flash. She had brought her camera! And that flash was the first of what would become many, many piccies she would take of me before this night was over.
Tay-Tay knew about my love for being a baby, but I had never actually been a baby in front of her before. True, she used to babysit for me, but I was like 3 or 4 at the time. This was obviously going to be different.
I remained a little stunned and stood there with wide eyes as Zeke unbuttoned my dress shirt and slid the checkered skirt down and off my legs, revealing my diaper which I had soaked from having drunk all that soda at the bowling alley.
Tay-Tay took another picture. I’m sure the look on my face was amusing in it. Then suddenly Zeke picked me up and into his arms. She took another shot. I leaned me head on his shoulder and she took yet another shot. I smiled behind my pacifier, beginning to really see how much fun this was going to be.
He carried me into the nursery. Uh-Oh. I knew what was coming … a diaper change. He sat me on the edge of the changing table and removed my sneakers, socks, the dress shirt and then my bra. Easing me down onto the table, he winked at me in that fashion that always made me melt.
Tay-Tay walked into the nursery just as he had unfastened my diaper and removed it. I lay there on the table wearing absolutely. I covered my face as shyness mixed with silliness overtook my mind. I peeked out through my fingers at her and she took another piccie.
She was taking some pretty interesting piccies of me! He began wiping my bottom and my front and I became distracted between the usual sensations he gave me when changing me and my sister, who was capturing it all on digital.
My legs and bottom went up in the air and I looked over at Tay-Tay and smiled. I knew she would want to get this all on her camera. Then I heard my new diaper being placed beneath me on the table and felt the cool powder touch my skin. This drew my attention back to what Zeke was doing and suddenly it seemed like Tay-Tay wasn’t in the room. My world became lost in him and the kindness he was showing. I’m sure she still took piccies, but from that point on and for the rest of this night, I didn’t notice her doing it anymore. It no longer seemed like a distraction to me and it was as if the flashes had faded into the background.
Zeke fastened my diaper into place and sat me up, putting a simply white t-shirt on me. When he did this, I knew what was next to come … dinner! This was one of my meal shirts.
Up into his arms I went. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck and looked back at Tay-Tay who was smiling widely at me. I smiled back.
She followed us out into the living room where Zeke set me down on my blanket on the living room rug and turned on the TV. His DVR was loaded with every episode of SpongeBob imaginable. He turned on the episode called “Band Geeks” which he knew was my favorite. Then he and Tay-Tay went out into the kitchen.
Sugar! I could hear them talking and I wanted to listen in on what they said but SpongeBob was on and Zeke knew I couldn’t not watch it if it was on. It was the absolutely perfect distraction for me. It was like that show had hypnotic powers that put me in a trance and wouldn’t let me look away.
I could hear the refrigerator opening and closing and other sounds that told me they were talking and making dinner. But at that moment my world was “in a pineapple under the sea.”
Before long I was completely focused on the TV. The background noises left and everything else got blurry around the TV screen. Just as “Band Geeks” ended I was startled back into reality by bib that was suddenly being put around my neck.
I turned around and once again Zeke lifted me up into his arms and carried me into the kitchen. I saw the kitchen table set for dinner for two and then I saw something that sent the butterflies fluttering inside me.
At the end of the table was my high chair! Oh my goodness, I can’t even tell you how very, very, very little I felt right then. Zeke sat me in the chair and then she placed the tray in front of me. I was feeling like a baby and enjoying the fact that she was there.
The high chair experience is always something that affects me differently each time. And I never know how it’s going to make me feel until I’m sitting in it. Sometimes it will be the fact that I’m sitting down and my bare feet can’t the floor and it’s similar to when he carries me around. Sometimes it will be the fact that I’m in a diaper and wearing a bib and I’ll be eating with my fingers. But it does give me butterflies every time, for sure.
But this time what affected me was that Zeke and Tay-Tay were eating steak and sitting on my tray was one of the Gerber Graduate meals I picked out at the grocery store. My dinner was “Pasta Stars in Meat Sauce with String Beans”. I love the Graduate meals, and I don’t like steak anyway. So it worked out perfectly.
During dinner, they started the “talking about me as if I weren’t in the room” thing. That made me feel little, too. So I began scooping up my food and eating it with my fingers while I listened to them. I took in a few finger-fulls and my mind began wandering as I looked around the kitchen and out the window by the other end of the table. My legs started kicking without me knowing it and I kicked Zeke in the shin pretty hard. He grabbed my leg and gave me the “Settle Down” look.
I said I was sorry and continued on with my meal, taking a break after the pasta was all gone to drink from my sippy cup. As I swallowed from it, my eyes grew wide with happiness as I found out he had given me chocolate milk.
Next came the string beans. Let me say that I am a very good girl in that I eat all my vegetables. I just have to be given the time to play with them first. And that is exactly what I did. I turned each string bean into a little tug boat that had to make it’s way through the leftover meat sauce before I could eat it. After a bit, I began adding the same boat noises that I make when Zeke gives me my bath at night.
Then I stopped hearing them talk. So I looked up to see them both watching me play with my food. Tay-Tay was smiling at me and Zeke gave me one of his “Daddy winks”. I blushed at the attention I was being given and finished my food.
I truly felt like a baby sitting in that high chair, eating with my fingers. And when I was all done, Zeke wiped my face and fingers which were dirty with meat sauce while she cleared everything off my tray. She returned from the sink with my dessert in her hand and a spoon. They both turned their chairs towards me and Tay-Tay fed me a little cup of pudding and this was the moment that the baby feeling coursing through me went into over-drive.
They both gave all their attention to me and I was so happy and feeling so little that I simply didn’t know what to do with myself. My legs started kicking again and Zeke grabbed my shins promptly to stop me. That made me feel shy. And my tummy, getting full now, was feeling butterfly flutter over-drive. My skin tingled and I followed Tay-Tay’s every direction exactly as if I were lost and needed guidance. It was very strange thinking on my part. I still knew how to feed myself, but it was so much easier to just do what she told me.
Thinking back on it now, I know I will never forgot tonight’s dinner. And I loved the way it made me feel to bed fed by Tay-Tay.
So Zeke returned my pacifier to my lips, let me out of the high chair and carried me into the living room. He sat me on the blanket on the rug.
This was one of my favorite places to be. When I’m sitting on that rug, it’s like I’m in a different world. Whether I’m watching TV or coloring or Zeke makes me take a nap there, I feel like I am in one of the safest places. I sometimes pretend that blanket is Aladdin’s magic carpet. I pretend to be Jasmine and Zeke pretends to be Aladdin. Sometimes we’ll put in that movie and sing along to that song they sing as they go flying through the clouds and touch the stars.
If he’s not on the rug with me, he’s sitting on the couch and watching over me. I have nothing to fear when I’m on my blanket. The world has made me fear a lot in my life. But when I’m on that carpet, not even the cancer in my body can get to me. Because Zeke has made a place for me to forget about all the things that make me cry. It feels good to leave all that out of my mind, even if just for a little while. It’s an escape that I cherish and need.
Have I mentioned that I love him?
This time, when he sat me on my blanket, he joined me. We played the “silly face” game. We each took turn trying to come up with the silliest look on our face and we try to make each other laugh. Whoever makes the other laugh the hardest wins. I have to admit that I have never won this contest.
All this time, Tay-Tay had been sitting on the couch, watching the two of us playing. She told me a couple weeks ago that when she heard I was sick, she cried for about 3 hours straight. She said she wished she were sick instead of me. I told her that she shouldn’t think that because being sick like this isn’t much fun.
Tonight, Tay-Tay saw that I was being taken very good care of. For as much fun as I had with her being there, a fun that I didn’t expect it to be when I first saw when we got home, I think tonight made her feel better about my situation. The ABDL thing is only an added bonus for me. I am truly in the hands of a guy who will never let anything bad happen to me.
After the face games, Zeke leaned forward and gave me a “You’ve been a good girl” kiss on my forehead. Then he got up and went into the bathroom and started the water in the tub. I looked at Tay-Tay and she smiled, clapping her hands excitedly for me. Seeing her do that made me feel even more little and I got the baby feeling again. It made me lie on my back and curl my legs up into a ball. I didn’t know what to do right then, just that I never wanted this night to end.
I saw Zeke cross from the bathroom into my nursery and he brought out my bedtime clothes. He placed it all on the blanket next to me and lifted the t-shirt off of me. I hugged him tightly as he sat on the floor and allowed me to curl up in his lap. He held me there for a few minutes and though I was almost completely naked once again, I felt like I was wrapped in a very warm blanket of love.
Then he stood up and up into his arms I went. This was another one of my favorite places to be. I can’t begin to explain how it is impossible to be close enough to him. Sometimes when I’m in his arms and he’s sitting on the couch holding me, I will unbutton his shirt and crawl inside it.
I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck as he took me into the bathroom. Tay-Tay followed us in. She unfastened the tapes of my diaper and took it off me, giving my bottom a pat before Zeke lowered me into a bathtub filled with warm water and bubbles.
My tushy felt the bubbles first. It tickled me and I wiggled a little and giggled a lot. Then the water touched my tushy and soon the rest of my body was submerged in the warm water. This was always a heavenly feeling. So at first I did nothing. I just lied there in the tub and soaked in the tremendous warmth of the water as it washed over my skin. I closed my eyes as Zeke positioned a towel at the back edge of the tub as a pillow for my head. Shortly, I would be splashing around and having more fun because I had to get rid of the bubbles before he could bathe me, but right at that moment I was simply enjoying the water.
I heard Zeke putting my toys in the tub. I had quite a few. Some were sponges in dinosaur shapes. Some were the traditional rubber duckies (Hey, ya can’t go wrong with a classic!) But my favorites were a set of Fisher Price tug boats. I don’t know why, but I like them bestest.
I heard Tay-Tay take another piccie of me and I opened my eyes. She and Zeke were both kneeling by the edge of the tub, waiting for me to start playing. But first was the hair pre-soak. I scooted forward and leaned my head back. Zeke put his hand on my upper back and eased the back of my head into the water. This was good to do and always a lot of fun. When he sat me back up I had a head full of bubbles.
Then I began playing. I had to get the dinosaurs from the one side of the tub to the other side where their duckie friends were waiting for them. So I put the dinosaurs on the tugboats and began tugboating them over. The only problem was they had to go behind the hot springs waterfall at the end of the tub. (Zeke usually turns the water back on for a little while when I play to warm it up.) The waters can get choppy and bouncy when the tugboats get near the waterfall. Sometimes the duckies see the tugboats with the dinosaurs on back struggling to make it behind the waterfall and then the duckies come over to help them get through it. Sometimes all that the tugboats need is a few friends to help them.
I thought Tay-Tay was going to drain the batteries in her camera with all the piccies she took of me playing. And she didn’t stop taking them when Zeke picked up the wash cloth. By then the bubbles had went down enough for him to bathe me. I lied back down in the tub and raised my legs up out of the water. Zeke likes to start at my feet and work his way up. He plays games with me as he does it like “this little piggy” “itsy, bitsy spider” and of course he always tickles me everywhere.
But I really love when he gets to my shoulders and neck. He massages my muscles when he gets there. (And that feels really good.) But I have to say that my favorite part of being bathe is when he washes my hair. Zeke always buys me my choice of shampoo. So I always ask for Herbal Essences. Tonight, Tay-Tay brought me a different kind of that shampoo called “Dangerously Straight”. She said it will help keep my hair straight, and that’s good since my hair is getting really long. I haven’t changed my look since before Zeke and I went to the Bahamas. He’ll probably get exhausted by one of my trips to the salon. He hasn’t experienced it yet. Hmm. Maybe I’ll spare him that trip and just go with Tay-Tay. I’ll do it on a Sunday so I don’t have to watch football all day.
But tonight, instead of Zeke washing my hair, Tay-Tay did it. Zeke is good as washing my hair, but Tay-Tay is great. She understands how to massage my scalp and she has the advantage of having fingernails. So she can lightly scrape my scalp and that feels incredible. Also, she has long hair and knows how to wash it really well. She lathered me up and then rinsed all of the water out with a pitcher of warm water. I tilted my head back and she slowly poured the water on my hairline, allowing it time to roll down my hair as she continued to massage my scalp.
So bathtime ended. I stood up and opened the drain. Zeke always lets me do that. Then he wrapped a towel around me and lifted me out of the tub and onto his lap as he sat on the toilet lid and began to rub me and dry me. We always watch the water drain out of the tub. “Click”! Tay-Tay was still at it with the camera.
Now … normally, Zeke will dress me for bed right there in the bathroom or he will take me into the nursery to dress me, but tonight he took all my bedtime clothes out to the living room. And that’s where he took me. He picked me up and carried me out there and set me on the blanket. Turning the TV on, he put my pacifier in my mouth and then took a brush to my hair. This is yet another wonderful feeling that comes from getting a bath from him. He takes his time and a brush through the hair also helps me to calm down.
Tay-Tay was sitting on the couch and turning into a professional photographer at this point.
Zeke eased me down onto the blanket and unwrapped the towel from my body. I lied there and looked up at him with an overwhelming feeling of adoration for him. On this night, he invited my sister over and made me comfortable with having her around. He fed me a dinner I adore and did so in a way that allowed me to feel like baby. Then he took the time to give me the personal attention of playing games with me on my blanket. Then he bathed me, from head-to-toe. It’s those little things that he does which add up and make every day with him a dream come true.
Now, I lied before him and watched him unfold my new diaper. He raised my bottom and legs in the air, slipped the diaper underneath me, gave me the nighttime powder treatment and lowered my body back down. He fastened my diaper into place and helped me sit up. I raised my hands to the sky as he slipped my arms into the sleeves of my footed PJs.
These PJs are fun. They were my new pink footed PJs, the button kind, not the zipper kind – from the neck down the front, down both legs to the ankle. It took him forever to button me up, but he likes the buttons over the zippers.
Zeke stood up and went into the kitchen … and I knew what he was doing. He was getting my nighttime bottle ready. He always warms the milk up at night. It makes me sleepy.
Nighttime was about being quiet and being held. Zeke says it’s the two best ways to get settled down for bed. I have to agree.
But as he returned to the living room with my bottle, something happened that I didn’t expect. Tay-Tay sat on the floor with her back up against the couch. Zeke handed her the bottle and she motioned with her finger for me to come over to her.
I crawled over to her and she positioned me on her lap. I lied there looking up at her, and couldn’t believe how accepting she was of everything she had seen tonight. Some may view it as strange and bizarre, but Tay-Tay has always been able to see inside people and how they feel. Still, I never dreamed that she would ever take to me being a baby. She knew about it, but now she saw it. AND I was now lying in her arms being fed my nighttime bottle.
It felt different being fed by her than by Zeke, but it was still very inviting and I relaxed in her arms, closing my eyes and feeling the warmth rising from her body. She put her fingertips on the back of my head and lightly stroked them through my hair. And she rocked me just gently enough to put me asleep.
I’m writing this entry while lying on a blanket on the living room rug. Tay-Tay is lying next to me but she’s asleep. I guess she decided to spend the night. Zeke is on the couch, watching ESPN. He needs to catch up on all the football he missed today. He woke me up a few minutes ago for my 3 am diaper change. I was clean, so he said I could write in my journal for a little while.
I learned on this day how easy it is to get lost in the simple joys of my submissive role. That probably sounds kooky, but it’s true. It felt so good to let go, and it was amazing how overjoyed I was to have Tay-Tay visit. It was like I had an audience and not just any audience, but one that loved me very deeply and wasn’t afraid to show it, just like Zeke. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I think Zeke might have invited her over to see how I would do with someone else here. Maybe he’s still considering the whole “meeting other AB couples” thing I asked him the other day. I can’t wait to see if that’s the case.
But I have to go now. Zeke is telling me it’s time to go back to sleep. I guess I’ll tell him I’m poopy now. -giggle-