Your not the only one.

This is my first attempt at a story on here and I am expecting harsh critique.

At school, somewhere around my early teens, I had a best friend called Mark. Although he lived a few miles away, we still made the effort to get together most nights after school and ride our bikes exploring. Frequently we would go miles but mostly it was just local to the parks and dens that we had.
We had this game where we had done something exciting or scary, we would pretend we were having to change our nappies and commenting that we would have to have two or even sometimes three paddi-pads along with our rubbers as it was such a big deal. All this was just our imaginary game.
We had been playing this same imaginary game since we were about 6 or 7. I had slept over at Mark’s many times at weekends, always in the guest room with his mom making me breakfast in bed and then getting up and dressed and meeting Mark downstairs. We played in Mark’s bedroom during the day but never after we got ready for bed.
Unknown to anyone, I had always really wanted to try nappies for real. My bother is 5 years younger than me and had been slow to toilet train, still being in daytime nappies at 3 and at night and long journeys till after his fourth birthday. On more than one occasion, I had also borrowed a nappy and rubbers for bed and even worn them once when we going on holiday under my shorts and was never caught.
Even though my brother had toilet trained, there were still piles of nappies kept around the house for use as dusters etc. and there were even some large baby rubbers kept in a carrier bag in the bottom of the airing cupboard. These were kept as emergency stock for visiting friends or uncles and aunts who had young children and might need emergency supplies. Fortunately, for me, they were large toddler sizes and I was very skinny and could still fit into them well into my teens. I was always very careful to wash my nappy and rubbers in the bath when I had a bath and put the rubbers back into the carrier bag in the airing cupboard, then dry the nappy on my radiator hidden under my towel, and then return that to the airing cupboard as well.
It got to be a regular thing where I would get home from school and immediately go upstairs to change out of my school uniform and into my play clothes but slip a nappy and rubbers on at the same time. I would then be straight out on my bike.
As we got older, our imaginary games continued along with our expeditions but we also started liking girls. Mark was first who got to know this girl called Jenny, she was a year younger than us and went to a different senior school but still lived in our village. Every night after school we would get on our bikes and go meet her at her bus stop, and then walk her home. Even as a threesome it felt very comfortable as we were all just friends but they were going out. A couple of times Jenny would bring her friend Susan from another village over for a sleepover and then we would be a foursome.
On one such occasion it was decided that we were going to play tennis and it was arranged for us to all meet at the park. Jenny and Susan tuned up wearing actual tennis dresses and white everything, Mark was wearing his usual football kit and I was just wearing my everyday play clothes of t-shirt and baggy shorts. I was mesmerised by the girls in their short dresses and especially Jenny as her tennis knickers were especially frilly and looked like little girls baby pants, padded and everything.
As time went on, Mark and Jenny split up as Mark was getting too busy with his football, a passion I did not share, but I carried on meeting Jenny from her bus and walking her home. I saw no reason to give this up as Jenny and I were still good friends. As time went on, Jenny invited me to in to her house and after a few times refusing I eventually said ok and was introduced to her mom and little sister who was 4.
It then became a regular thing that we would go to Jenny’s house after school and I would wait downstairs in the kitchen while Jenny went upstairs to get changed. It was a normal thing t for them to have the clothes airer out in the kitchen with the girls clothes spread out and on more than a few occasions I saw what I presumed to be Jenny’s tennis knickers on the airer and also noticed that they were terry lined. Terry lined like my terry nappies.
After a few weeks as Jenny had just come downstairs and we were getting ready to go to the park I asked her if they were hers. She just laughed and said no, they were her sisters so I let it go.
Jenny and I weren’t really girlfriend/boyfriend, we were just friends that hung out together as she was more of a tomboy anyway but as time went on we were getting closer and would occasionally hug and even rarer a quick peck on the cheek as a kiss. As we were not in a relationship per se and we did not go around touching or holding each other, I was completely comfortable wearing a nappy under my shorts when I was out with her as I knew she would never find out.
One day whilst we were at the park playing on the swings and slides, the sky suddenly went black and the heaven’s opened with heavy rain soaking us both. We made a run for it back to Jenny’s house as it was closest. As we entered the kitchen, Jenny’s mom was waiting for us with big towels to dry off with. We were told to quickly undress so she could quickly run my clothes through the tumble dryer and get them dry again. Jenny quickly took her sweatshirt off and dropped her skirt leaving here standing in a vest and her tennis knickers before quickly grabbing a towel and wrapping herself in it. I was left standing there and said that I wanted to go home to get changed but with a bit of coaxing I was allowed to go back into the garage to remove my outer clothes and wrap myself in a towel before coming back in. I was a little panicky at this stage but my fear of discovery had been averted.
Wrapped in our towels, we were allowed to up to Jenny’s room to listen to some music while my clothes were dried. As we sat on the bed I thought I heard a crinkling noise like a plastic sheet on the bed but Jenny was kneeling down in front of me looking through her record collection and then putting an LP on before sitting by me on her bed. Jenny then turned to me and put her arm around me and gave me a quick peck on the cheek and we were laughing about how wet we got. I knew that I couldn’t stay long as my nappy was also wet so I started making the excuse about needing to go home for my tea.
Jenny was not happy by this idea and scampered off to talk to her mom. In my absence, Jenny’s mom had phoned my mom and it had been agreed that as it was the start of the weekend then I would sleep over in a sleeping bag. I was now stuck and did not know how I was going to get out of this. Jenny had come back upstairs still in a towel and was telling me this and saw the look of fear on my face but started giggling. I was saying how I needed to get home though but Jenny was having none of it. She came over and sat with me on the bed as she could see I was upset but just said that it will be ok as both she and her mom knew anyway.
I was shocked by the statement but still did not believe that she really knew about my nappies but was also terrified in case she did. I stood up and just kept saying that I had to go and got up to leave but with an evil grin Jenny did no more than pull the towel off me.
There I was standing in my best friend’s bedroom, who just happens to be a girl, wearing a baggy t-shirt, clear plastic pants and a wet nappy. I thought to run but did not no where, I thought to hide but did not how, I thought to……
Jenny came up to me and put her arms around with a big hug, letting her hand slip down to rest on the back of my nappy and then leant in and gave me my first proper kiss. I was mesmerised by Jenny but still felt foolish and was at a loss as what to say. Jenny broke the silence, leaning back while still holding me she came straight out with it and asked if I needed my nappy changing. This was now getting surreal and my head was beginning to fog over but said no that I think I’m ok.
We just held onto each other but then Jenny lay down on her bed a beckoned me to do the same and I was lying next to her, she had let her towel slip as well and lay next to each other and began kissing again. This time I joined in and put my free arm on her and started to run my hand across her back and then l slid down so that my hand was on her knickers. They felt bulky and I let one finger stay inside the top f the back and I felt the terry towelling liner. Whilst doing this, our kissing had slowed and then stopped and Jenny leant back while looking me straight in the eye and said
“you’re not the only one you know”.

1 Like

Re: Your not the only one.

You used paragraphs and punctuation, and that’s always a good place to start. :slight_smile: I didn’t notice many spelling or grammatical errors, either. One I did notice- in the thread title, there’s “Your” when it should be “you’re”.

The title ties in with the story idea. It’s a nice little story idea, especially for a first story.

The vast majority of the story is told in summary. I’d advise on slowing down, fleshing things out. Diapers don’t have to be the sole focus of the narrative. Let your characters show us who they are. Their words, actions, thoughts, feelings. Descriptive scenes help bring a story to life. Try using some of the senses- touch, sight, smell, etc. Summary has it’s place in writing, but the major parts of a story are better shown off in scene That lets readers immerse themselves in the world of the story. :slight_smile:

Re: Your not the only one.

What she said. Don’t rush things. If this was a fairy tale it shouldn’t be “Once upon a time there were diapers…” You decide when the story ends, so if you want to take the time to describe every tree they pass when walking through the forest (i.e. go full Tolkien) you can do that. I wouldn’t recommend that though. You have to be a really good writer to keep “and then they passed another tree which reminded them of…” interesting.

Also, try to think back and draw from your own experiences. As far as I could see, your protagonist is in his teens and I must say that both he and Jenny seem remarkably cool with what they’re doing. Teenagers are generally awkward even when doing stuff that everybody does (and we’re not just talking about sex here), let alone when being engaged in behaviour they would probably see as deviant or weird. Even the protagonist only seem mildly embarassed. Think back to how you might have felt if you were in a similar situation. How would you have reacted if you were in the same situation? I’m betting it would be a little more serious than “Well, that was unfortunate”.

Finally, and this might just be personal preference, consider skipping an extra line between paragraphs. It makes the text a little easier on the eyes since you avoid the Wall-of-Text-syndrome.

Re: Your not the only one.

This is a great first attempt.