In 15 years of wheelschairs and diapers. I have never figured out why people are so rude. I figured that people in gerneral would get use to seeing a Lady in a wheelchair coming in to there offices.
Before I ever go in to a office I double check to make sure they have proper assecible areas for me to get where I need togo. So they must have figured out by this that I was in a wheelchair.
The owner of the company I went to this moring to look into doing a design and prototype for this moring was worried if I could do the job for them because of my disability. What does being in a wheelchair have to do with working with computers and designing them a new sytem for the company.
It’s not just in the work place world either. I went to a small store to find some new clothes a few weeks back and the lady in the store acted as if I was not able to look and find the clothing I wanted on my own. She kept treating me like I was a child evan though my eldest daughter was with me and I dont look anything like a child in my opinion. It was as if since I was in a wheelchair that I required special assistance from her because I was un able to take care of myself.
I think people fundamentally possess an inability to grasp that which is different. Since most people walk, being wheelchair-bound would qualify. Some people will make the effort to comprehend, while others are too lazy and will simply let their assumptions and presumptions take over. This is a case of the latter: she saw you and thought “impaired” instead of trying to actually assess what you were and were not capable of. I don’t blame you for getting mad and I’m sorry you had to go through such a patronizing experience.
Sucks when people think different of you over a disability. I have been treated with kid gloves at work and when I was a teen, kids treated me like I was a little kid. My therapist said I was viewed as a little kid by my peers and not taken seriously. I dunno how he know so I never took him seriously when he said that because how would he know, he can’t read minds.
They used to do that to me too when I was younger, and I am certain they did it when I first started my job 4 years ago. Now, I am treated as an equal around the restaurant where I work.
I guess some people have no idea what people with disabilities can do. I mean, me, I have a hearing loss, mild CP, and Asperger’s Syndrome, but I try not to let that stop me cause I want to be better than that or whatever stereotype there is. When I was younger, I was always treated with kid-gloves too. It does suck when people do that and don’t realize what a person with disabilities can do.
I would like someone to ask me if I need help In a store, or with a door or anything. I dont want them to asume it because of my wheelchair.
In the work feild my past work and schooling should speak for its self. I a have worked hard to do what I do and I enjoy the work. I understand what my limatations are. I try to push my self past them sometimes but am not afrain to admit weh I cant do the job or need help with it.
I dont mind people staring or looking at me anymore. At least they see me. The weird looks and things like that bother me. If they have a question just ask me. I will answer them as truthfully as possible.
I have wondered what the best way to be helpful is without being demeaning. I suppose it depends on the person. I guess it can’t always be demeaning, because there are times when we all need help, regardless of our handicaps or lack therof. Also, how do you feel about different terms such as ‘disabled’ or ‘handicapped’. I’ve heard that ‘disabled’ is offensive, but maybe that was just a few people who think that.
I’ll say the same thing I’ve said numerous times before, the only reason a word can possibly be offensive is if some disabled douchebag decides to make it offensive.
There is little reason a single word, a single set of sounds a person can make can be offensive (I say little because I would make an exception for the N word due to 400+ years of slavery, hatred, bigotry and intolerance that went with it).
What’s even more offensive than the word is the way many disabled or “handicapped” people are being treated for being handicapped. The immediate condescending nature that people use to socialize with a handicapped person is fucking ridiculous.
To me they are different though. Disabled is a person with a injury or such. That inpears there abilties.
Handicapped is a person, that was born with such a disablity.
or a person can look at it as different levels also. handicaped would be the lesser of the two.
Jaks. I agree with you on the a word being offensive. It is only in the eye of the beholder.
xofwodahs - We do live in a Society with double standards. In many different ways and types. I dont mind helpful, peple at all. I just want the right to try on my on or to be asked. Not that it be asumed.
Like the old saying “asumption makes a A-- out of you and me.”
Thinks all for responding. I guess I can be a little over senitve about things at times.
Another thing I’ve noticed is people who have disabilities, they assume they are being treated a certain way because of their disability, not because that other person is just a dick and it has nothing to do with them being different. I’ve done it before by taking things so personal or assuming this person is treating me this way because I’m different and I must have showed it.
When I was 18 there was this 14 year old girl in my choir class and she was snotty to me so I thought it was because I’m in special ed but one day I heard her talking and she said “I’m special. I’m in special ed” and it surprised me because why would she treat another special person like dirt for being different if she is different herself? I found out later on that was how she treats everybody and I felt so happy after that because it meant it wasn’t me, it was her.
Michelle, I’ve been there too. I had a friend in junior high, Katrina, who was incredibly condescending.
One day Katrina, another mutual friend and I were going to go somewhere. Kat realized she’d left something behind. So she says to Friend B, (I forgot her name), “I need to go back and get my purse, will you watch her while I’m gone?”
Needless to say we are not friends anymore. Good riddence.