Why are furries so manipulative?

I used to think I could hold my ground with one but no. I was groomed by them. But yet furries still treat me like I’m dirt. I can NEVER avoid them and it almost drove me to suicide

:face_with_monocle: Um, what? I don’t think it’s cool to tar and feather an entire group based off the actions of some individuals. If said individuals aren’t treating you well, do not interact with them on any online platform. Most have this little thing called a block button. Or if they’re breaking site rules= report to a mod and let them handle it. If you’re having a lot of problems or suicidal thoughts, seek the help of a mental health professional ASAP.


Never. therapy has already made me worse enough, I’m getting out of that hellhole

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You need to find a better therapist, not stop therapy.

And a tiny bit of advice. Remember I told you that we rarely ban users and prefer locking them to moderated posting? One of the reasons we do that is for trolling.

:woman_shrugging: I gave my advice. Do as you will. If your current therapist isn’t much help, find another one who is, as Danni already said. Therapy is more healthy and constructive than kvetching to random internet strangers on a forum about furries. :+1:

I wouldn’t say that furries are manipulative. That’s along the lines of saying black people are criminals or Arabic people are terrorists, or white people are racists.

Yes, some of them are, I’m in no way denying it. Hell, maybe a bunch of famous people from each group fit the trend, or maybe even every single one you met in your life was as awful as could be. But that never never means they are all like that.

What I mean is your problem isn’t with furries, it’s with twisted manipulative people.

Now I’m not telling you to go and socialize with furries. No. It’s fine if you don’t want to be around them. See, I’m not a furry, and that stuff is actually a bit of a turn-off to me. Preference is preference.

But see, I’ve dealt with a bunch of manipulative people in my time. They can really mess you up if you let them. You can’t prevent people from treating you like dirt, but what you can do is not let it linger with you.

Remember, you are you. No one can change who you are if you don’t let them. You chose your identity. Your identity isn’t just someone who was manipulated and hurt, your identity is more than that, so much more. Whatever other people do to you doesn’t define who you are. My recommendation would be to focus on clarifying to yourself who you are, who you want to be, and how you not merely the sum of what’s happened to you.

I won’t comment too much on therapy other than to agree with the others above. There are bad therapists out there just like there are bad fry cooks, cashiers, police, doctors, politicians tradesmen, whatever. If you went to one which made it worse, that doesn’t mean they’re all crap. And I say this as someone who’s been to dozens of doctors over the years and not once found one who could diagnose even the simplest of things; still doesn’t mean they’re all worthless and unhelpful.

The world is full of crumby people, but don’t let them poison your view of the ones who aren’t.

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One of the nicest furries I know is a member here. He’s actually the only person who can override me on admin decisions if it’s a legal issue. I am speaking of course of @Anthony, my favorite attorney :slight_smile:

I may be beating a dead horse by saying this, but hey, there must be some equine masochists. Seriously though; I think we all have to remember that people are individuals, and individuals have to be considered individually. There are good and bad people in all groups. (Granted, some groups skew heavily to one side, but still…) Amnesty International had an anti-racism campaign back in the 90’s that had a slogan that translates to “An arsehole is an arsehole, regardless of skin colour.” I think that it’s obvious that the same idea applies to other things than skin colour. Maybe we could all be better people if we judged people based on what they do and not simply by which groups they belong.


I’m sorry to hear you’ve had a bad experience with furries. I’ve been lucky to meet nice ones… but I’ve met skeezbags and creeps in all walks of life, so I’ve no doubt there are such furries. I’ve often made an error of thinking that, “If they’re like me, then they’ll be okay.” No; just because someone shares interests does not mean they do so with the same ethics and values. If you need to get away from the Furry community, temporarily or permanently, you are allowed—it is your life, your choice, your responsibility to take care of your needs.

Beyond that, I’ll agree with Vearynope’s well-thought and carefully-framed thoughts.

And Gummybear: whinnies. Or is your sadistic equine interest obligate necrophile?