Twins, diapers and boarding school.

Jessica and Jasmine were at the door to their new boarding school suitcases in hand. The twins now 17 are gonna be spending the next 7 years of their life at this boarding school which would normally be weird but this school has college courses as standard so most students stay enrolled till they are 24. Jessica and Jasmine are identical twins both having long hair Jess’s ginger and Jas’s blonde with highlights. Jasmine is wearing a crop top and leggings while Jessica a skirt and blouse.
They walked up to the registration desk.
“Hey we are new students here.” said Jasmine.
“Names.” Called out the person behind the desk.
“Jessica and Jasmine Summers.” Answered Jessica.
“okay you start tomorrow your room is dorm 2 level 3 room 7.”
“thank you.”
“I need you both to sign our rules showing you agree to them. Basically the same as most other schools except uniforms are compulsory and will be worn 24 all the time during the week. Weekends are student choice but that can be retracted as a punishment.”
Jessica and Jasmine sign the agreement. And are lead to their room.
they look at a room moderately sized with one wardrobe, two beds and very bland decoration.
“This is your room you are to keep it in its clean state yourself failure to do so will result in losing your weekend clothes privileges. Your uniforms are in the wardrobe same with your sportswear. Now since it is monday and you are now students I will leave you to get changed also there is a camera in the room to monitor you wearing the uniform but there are not cameras in the shower facilities obviously. Good day oh and room inspections every day 6:30 am.”
The staff member walks out the room. Jasmine closes the door. Jessica is looking over the uniforms.
“not bad like the skirts the leotards for gym are good looking as well. Guess we should go get changed.”
The girls go into the shower room to get changed then come out wearing the school uniform. Both girls are wearing a white shirt with a black blazer accented with blue piping and a black pleated skirt and knee high white socks and black shoes.
“well now what?” asked Jasmine.
“get some food?” repled Jessica.
The girls make their way to the cafeteria and order food before sitting at a table to eat with two other girls.
“Hey what’s your names?” asked of them.
“Jessica, Jasmine.” replied both the girls respectively.
“cute, I’m Megan and that’s Katie.”
“Hey.” replies Katie
“you like it here?” Asks Jess.
“yes it’s a good school has taught me a lot and it’s punishments work don’t they katie?”
“yep still find it funny what happened to you.”
“please tell us?” asked Jasmine.
“okay. Well last week during the holidays me and my girlfriend tried to hook up in my room the cameras saw everything and the staff were not happy. So I and my now ex girlfriend, she left me over this, have to wear this uniform for the entire year including weekends and holidays.” said Megan
“wow I’m sorry she left you and that’s a bit harsh.” said Jasmine.
“not really I gave the staff a free porno but I know not to do it again.”
The girls sit there laughing about it.
“I mean it could be worse Megan atleast the uniform looks hot on you.” said Jessica blushing slightly.
“Jess am I right in assuming you’re lesbian as well?”
“Yeah guys don’t really do it for me.”
Megan giggles.
“Well we need to get going.” interjects Katie. As the girls walk away megan whispers in Jessica’s ear.
“I’m not the only hot girl in that uniform.”
Jess blushes more now. As Megan walks away.
Later that night after exploring the campus Jasmine and Jessica are laying in bed ready to sleep.
“I’m not looking forward to physics first thing tomorrow.”
“could be worse could be maths that stuff bores me.” Jessica says “any way try not to worry about it. Let’s get some sleep gonna be a long day.”
During the night both girls do not wake up and about 1 am Jessica is lying fast asleep when her bladder relaxes and let’s a flood out soaking jess’s onesie and bedding. And not long before the girls need to be up Jasmine wets as well.
At 6:30 the girls woke up and soon realise what has happened and the time.

Re: Twins, diapers and boarding school.

Good start. Thanks

Re: Twins, diapers and boarding school.

Just a couple of quick things without touching on the actual content:
1 - Please remember to capitalise the first word in your sentences. (And please remember that a quotation mark does not count as a capital letter.) Also, names are supposed to be capitalised too.
2 - Don’t mix your tenses. You bounce back and forth between the present tense and the past tense. Pick one and stick with it please. After all, the story either takes place now or in the past.
3 - Don’t be afraid to use a full stop. A sentence is not necessarily good just because it’s long. Give the reader time to breathe by dividing the really long sentences into shorter ones or at least putting in a few commas.

Also, and bear in mind that this is more of a personal preference, you might want to skip a line between paragraphs to avoid the wall-of-text-syndrome.

Re: Twins, diapers and boarding school.

Thanks for the advice cap letters my bad I never catch them all when I go back through. Tenses I hate when writing and it’s weird getting it right and the paragraphs look better on the text doc.

Re: Twins, diapers and boarding school.

You use Microsoft Word, don’t you?

It creates a fake separation between paragraphs by default. You have to manually insert the breaks when copying and pasting into the site. :slight_smile:

Re: Twins, diapers and boarding school.

Not using word but on google doc. But yeah it’s just one of those things it looks better on the doc right now

Re: Twins, diapers and boarding school.

Well it’s the same issue actually, and the fix is the same :slight_smile:

Re: Twins, diapers and boarding school.

[LEFT]2 notes 1: Nurses name is pronounced Yensen but is spelt Jensen. 2nd I know it’s not much but I’d rather get something new out than take ages getting nothing out and I was at a sequence break anyway.

“Jas, did you wet as well?” asks Jessica.
[COLOR=#000000][LEFT][COLOR=#000000]“Yep, urgh we are so screwed when it comes to inspection time.”
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“guess all we can do is shower and get our uniforms on.” says Jess.[/LEFT][LEFT]The girls strip and get in the shower to freshen up after 5 minutes in the shower they step out to dry off and get their uniforms on. Only to be promptly interrupted by banging on the door.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“room inspection!” was yelled through the door before the same staff member that escorted them yesterday to the room came in. He looks at the girls standing about looking unprepared.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“this how you always great people? Stand up straighter and show some respect.” he groans at them. The girls stand up straighter as if they were soldiers at attention.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“that’s better. Now what’s that smell?”
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“sir both me and my sister wet the beds we only just finished showering.” said Jasmine timidly.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“has it been disclosed you two are bed wetters?”
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“No sir it’s only occasionally and we don’t think it’s an issue.” Jessica replies.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“well then the pair of you since you did not disclose this have just earned 3 days detention after school hours for 2 hours and forfeit non uniform privileges for 2 weeks. Now strip these beds wash them and report to the nurses office.” The staff member walks out of the room.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT][COLOR=#000000]“Yes sir.” the girls respond and begin to strip their beds for washing. After doing so they head off to the nurses office.

Once reaching the office Jasmine knocks on the door and is greeted by a warm welcoming voice inviting the girls in.
[/LEFT][/COLOR][LEFT]“So how can I help you two?"
"[/LEFT]
[LEFT]My names Jasmine and this is my twin Jessica.” [/LEFT][LEFT]The nurse looks at them looking for something to tell the twins apart.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“Last night we both wet the bed and we’ve been sent to you for I’m guessing protection to deal with it.” Jasmine finishes.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“I see. Well my name is Nurse Jensen I think we’ll be seeing alot of each other. So how often does this happen?” Nurse Jensen Inquiries.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“Every now and then.” Replies Jessica.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“Okay then Jasmine. I’m gonna give you and Jessica plastic sheets to put on the beds to make clean up easier. I would like you to come back to me the next time this happens. Now here is the sheets get them back to the dorm and go get some breakfast before class.” Nurse Jensen instructs. Jasmine collects the sheets and they walk out the office. [/LEFT][LEFT][COLOR=#000000]

The cafeteria is filled with students and staff eating breakfast. Megan and Katie are sat at a table.
[/LEFT][/COLOR][LEFT]“I wonder if we’ll see Jasmine and Jessica again today?” Asks Katie.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“I hope so. They seem nice and would be good friends, and Jessica is stunning to look at so.” Megan replies.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“You want to ask her out don’t you?”
[/LEFT]
[LEFT][COLOR=#000000]“Hell yes I want to ask her out.” Megan says.

A little while later the twins join them.
[/LEFT][/COLOR][LEFT]“Morning Megan and Katie.” The twins say.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“Hey there.”
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“Hey you two.” Replies Megan.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“So you’re a bit late for breakfast what happened?” Asks Katie
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“ We got reprimanded during room inspection. 3 days after school detention for 2 hours and 2 weeks of non uniform privileges revoked.” Says Jess
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“That sucks” Replies Katie.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“Looks like I will not be the only one in the uniform on the weekend for a bit then.”
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“So Megan and Katie wanna take some time to get to know each other better later tonight?” Asks Jasmine.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“Sure.” The girls respond.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“So what’s first lessons then?” Asks Jessica.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“History for me.” Says Katie.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“I got Psychology. Your first lessons? “ Asks Megan.
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“Physics.”
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“ I got Psychology as well. Looks like we might be in the same class.”
[/LEFT]
[LEFT]“That sounds like fun Jess. Well home room is in ten so we better be quick to finish breakfast.”[/LEFT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/LEFT]

Re: Twins, diapers and boarding school.

[QUOTE=Gummybear;71878]
1 - Please remember to capitalise the first word in your sentences. (And please remember that a quotation mark does not count as a capital letter.) Also, names are supposed to be capitalised too.
2 - Don’t mix your tenses. You bounce back and forth between the present tense and the past tense. Pick one and stick with it please. After all, the story either takes place now or in the past.
3 - Don’t be afraid to use a full stop. A sentence is not necessarily good just because it’s long. Give the reader time to breathe by dividing the really long sentences into shorter ones or at least putting in a few commas.[/QUOTE]

Points 1 and 2 still apply. (Although you did remember to capitalise the names this time)
As for point 3, you have fewer extremely long sentences this time, so that’s good.