Trina's Jacket

Trina’s Jacket

Prologue

Trina handed her jacket to her cousin Anna. It was a simple act that had an extraordinary emotional impact on Trina and Anna. Trina decided that day that it was her goal to help her friends and family whenever possible. She chose her path of selfless devotion to others.

Trina helped others feel safe and comfortable. Over the years she got good at it. It became second nature. The positive feedback she received was very motivating to Trina. She never questioned that taking care of others was her purpose in life. Once she knew she knew. Like how a painter knows they are a painter. A musician knows they are a musician. Trina’s medium was altruism and she worked in it masterfully.

Chapter One

Four years later.

Anna was twelve years old. She had a mother, a father and an older brother. Every year her and her family went deer hunting. Well, her father, Ashley and brother, Jeremy went deer hunting. Anna and her mother, Julie stayed at Anna’s cousin Trina’s house. It was a tradition that predated Anna’s earliest memories. The option was available for Anna to go hunting this year but she chose stay back because she loved spending time with her cousins and her Aunt Lorna.

One morning close to deer hunting season something happened that put a damper on Trina’s excitement for this year’s hunting season. She awoke to a wet bed. Not with sweat or a spilled drink but wet with urine. Since it was early in the morning it took a moment for her to realize what had happened. Then it occurred to her. She peed while asleep. A feeling of dread came over her at the thought. Anna had not wet the bed in years.

The feeling of wet sheets was even more foreign to Anna since she used to wear protection at night. Specifically, pull-ups; absorbent underwear in her size. When she awoke it was usually just her pull-up that was wet and nothing else. This accident startled her because she lacked any protection and she felt like the pee was everywhere.

She had been so proud to stop wearing pull-ups at night. That victory now felt diminished. Feeling her maturity caving in she tried to reassure herself. This is just a fluke. I will be fine. I haven’t wet since I was a little kid. Just as she was finding her optimism her mother entered the room.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Julie said.

“Um, hi,” Anna said meekly. Her discomfort was apparent to Julie.

“Hi, are you feeling alright?” asked Julie.

“Yeah, I guess so. Well I sorta just realized that I had an accident last night,” Anna said. She lowered her gaze.

“You what?” Julie asked but then immediately realized what Anna was saying. “Oh, did you wet your bed?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I don’t know how it happened,” Anna’s voice was weak.

“There’s no reason to be sorry. It’s just one of those things,” Julie reassured.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting this,” Anna said. Her voice was now very emotional and her eyes showed tears forming.

“Oh, sweetheart, this must be hard for you, huh?” Julie asked. She took her daughter in her embrace.

After a few moments Julie said, “Do you feel like taking a shower?”

Anna nodded.

“Good, you go have a nice hot shower and then come down for breakfast if you like,” Julie said.

In front of the bathroom Jeremy was exiting. He noticed his sisters wet pajamas. When Anna noticed his gaze she blushed.

Julie said to Jeremy, “Jeremy, your sister had an accident last night and is still bouncing back from the shock of it. I want you to be especially comforting to her, alright?”

“Oh, sorry Anna I didn’t mean to stare. I’ve wet the bed before too so no big deal,” Jeremy said.

“Thanks, big brother,” Anna said. She still felt a little embarrassed so she kept walking into the bathroom.

Jeremy put a comforting hand on her shoulder as she passed him in the hall.

In Anna’s room, Julie stripped the bed and sanitized it. She knocked on the bathroom door and asked Anna to hand her clothes out so she could start a load of laundry. To Julie, this was just second nature. Even when Anna wore pull-ups to bed she would leak through them sometimes. Being the experienced mother that she was she knew to clean urine soaked fabric right away.

Anna felt fresh after taking a shower. She wrapped a towel around herself and walked back to her room. She got dressed for school. She made her way to the kitchen for breakfast.

Julie had already explained the situation to Ashley.

“Hi, sweetheart, how are you feeling?” asked Ashley.

“A lot better now that I’ve had a shower,” Anna said. She had found her voice again.

“I bet, how about your feelings?” he pressed.

“It caught me off guard and I was shaken up at first but I am feeling better,” Anna said, “besides I think it is just a one-time thing.”

That inspired Julie to chime in, “I hope you’re right but just in case I am going to put your special sheets back on your bed for now.”

“As long as I don’t have to go back to wearing pull-ups,” Anna said as she rolled her eyes.

“Either way, there will be no shaming in this family, right Ash?” Julie asked.

“That’s right,” Ashley said.

“Jeremy?” Julie turned to her son.

“Just remember, I used to wear pull-ups too, Anna,” Jeremy said with a laugh.

“Oh yeah, I remember that,” Anna said. She had a feeling of nostalgia. “Wow, that was so long ago.”

“I was even prouder than you when I was out of them at night,” Jeremy said. He winked at Anna.

“Haha,” Anna laughed reflexively. The reminiscence helped her find her joy.

“Here are some notes to get you out of school for hunting season,” Julie said and handed each of the children a note.

Ashley went to work. Anna and Jeremy walked to school together as they did most days. They walked to the school office and handed their notes in.

Julie did household chores. She did prep work for supper. She read, studied and did breath work. She called her sister, Lorna. They discussed Anna’s accident the night before and how waterproof sheets would be the safe bet for hunting season.

Anna and Jeremy arrived home from school. Soon after that Ashley arrived home as well. They all sat down to a delicious family dinner and had family time after that.

Anna went to bed for the night and was reminded of her accident the night before when she felt her waterproof sheets under her regular sheets. “Oh yeah,” she said, “I’m a twelve year old bedwetter.” She sighed. “Oh well.” She drifted to sleep.

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Chapter Two

Trina awoke to her alarm at six. She rose from her bed and went to the bathroom to do her morning routine. She walked to the kitchen to find her mother, Lorna. “Good morning, Mother,” she said. “What’s the plan today?”

“Will you start taking down a list of things we will need to buy for hunting camp for the men?” Lorna asked.

“Yes, mother,” Trina said. She went to the drawer and fetched a pen and pad. “Shall we start with hunting camp provisions?”

“Alright,” Lorna responded. “Let’s see, trail mix, eggs, bacon, pancake mix, bread…”

“Popcorn, hot cocoa, drinking water,” Trina added.

“butter, deli meats, lettuce, tomatoes,” Lorna continued.

“I’ll start a separate section for produce so we can buy it closer to when they head out and that way everything will be nice and fresh,” Trina said.

“Good idea,” Lorna said.

Trina’s father, Nathan entered the kitchen and headed straight to the pot of coffee.

“Good morning, father,” Trina said with a warm smile.

“Hi, beautiful,” Nathan replied groggily.

“We’re making a list of shopping for deer camp, can you think of anything to add?” Trina asked.

“Coffee and beer,” Nathan said instantly.

“Got it,” Trina replied.

“Gotta have coffee and beer,” Nathan said as if it was some long forgotten wisdom.

The three continued the list for a while and then Trina said, “I will go see if the younger ones are awake yet.”

Trina went to wake up her younger brother and sister. Once Gerald and Zoe were awake she had them started on their morning routine. Trina’s older brother, Thomas was at the breakfast table where Lorna was beginning to serve breakfast. Trina sat down eager to eat breakfast so she could gain the energy to complete today’s tasks.

“Thomas, if you think of anything you need for hunting camp let us know. Mother and I are going shopping after school," Trina said.

“Get a new first aid kit just in case. The one out there isn’t that well stocked anymore, remember dad?” Thomas asked.

“Oh yeah, hey that’s good thinking there Thomas. And remember flashlight batteries too, Trina. The handhelds take double-a and the headlamps take C.R. twenty thirty-two coin batteries,” Nathan added.

“Alright, and how are you doing for ammunition?” Trina asked.

“Might as well pick up a couple boxes each of thirty aught six and two forty three rounds. We’ll get the rifles sighted in this week,” Nathan said.

The children rode the bus to school. After school Trina accompanied her mother to the stores.

In the car, Lorna spoke, “I talked to Julie on the phone today. Your cousin Anna had a nighttime accident like she used to when she was younger but it happened just last night.”

“Alright,” Trina listened.

“Julie and I discussed it and since Anna will be sharing your room with you we will put her waterproof sheet on your bed for her. We can move Gerry’s bed into your room since he will be at camp,” Lorna said.

“Alright, yeah, Anna can definitely sleep in my bed for vacation,” Trina said. The opportunity to help a family member filled Trina with a feeling of selfless joy that her heart always longed for.

“Thanks, beautiful, you are so good to your family,” Lorna said smiling.

Trina knew that Anna used to wet the bed but that it was years ago. She started thinking about how she could be helpful in this situation, like showing Anna how to use the washer and drier. She resonated with this situation so much that her brain wouldn’t stop coming up with new ideas.

Even though Trina felt for Anna, she focused enough to be able to get the shopping done with her mother. Back home Trina helped her mother unload the car. After that she helped her mother start supper. They enjoyed a delicious home-cooked meal and then relaxed into family time. Then she went to bed, excited for the yearly tradition of hunting season which was less than a week away.

I hope you continue this, it has so much potential!

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Thanks. That means a lot.

I got really insecure after I posted the first two chapters. It is not as high of quality as a lot of the other authors on here. Does anyone have any advice on how I can improve my writing ability?

Sorry to hear that you are feeling insecure about your writing, but tbh I really liked what you have put out so far! No grammatical errors, dialog felt natural, and you set up a really good premise! Honestly, I don’t see a big gap between your quality of writing and other authors on this site.

As for tips, I would say practice makes perfect. No one is going to be perfect right away, but you also won’t improve if you don’t keep practicing. “The difference between a novice and a master is a master has failed more times than a novice has ever tried”

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hey I love your writing

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Thank you all for your gracious words. I feel better about this chapter.

Chapter Three

On awakening, Anna realized her worst fear. She had another nighttime accident. This time there was no delay in knowing what had happened. For the second night in a row her clothes were wet. Her sheets were wet. It smelled like pee. She was so hopeful that it was just a fluke but that hope shattered in the moment she awoke. Overwhelmed, she cried.

“Mom,” she called as loud as she could but her voice was weak.

That moment her mother entered the room to see Anna with tears running down her cheeks. It only took a moment for Julie to realize what had happened. “Oh, sweetheart,” Julie said sympathetically. She sat on Anna’s bed and put a hand on her shoulder. “Again?” she asked gently.

Anna pressed her lips together and nodded. She sniffled and then hid her face in her pillow. Julie gently moved her hand to her daughter’s back. Julie held space for Anna while she cried.

Anna remembered vacation was soon. She popped her head up and asked, “what about vacation?”

“Tell me how you are feeling about that,” Julie encouraged.

“If I keep having accidents, everyone will know. I’m twelve, this isn’t supposed to happen,” Anna said frustrated.

Julie listened without any judgment.

Anna continued, “I bet Zoe doesn’t wet the bed. I usually stay with Trina, what will she think?”

“I went ahead and told Lorna that you would need a waterproof sheet on Trina’s bed. Trina is very mature and she will understand,” Julie said. Right after she spoke, Julie worried that this might have sent a false message to Anna that her feelings were wrong. Julie made a mental note of it and then went back to listening mode. She reminded herself that none of Anna’s feelings were wrong.

“And what if there’s something wrong with me, what if I keep wetting the bed. Why now? Right before vacation,” Anna said as her frustration grew.

Julie waited a moment and then said, “I want you to know that whatever you are feeling is perfectly alright.”

“It’s just not fair, why can’t I do anything about this. It’s my body, why the fuck don’t I have control over it,” Anna yelled. She buried her face in her pillow and screamed. Her breathing picked up as she let anger flow through her.

Julie waited patiently for Anna to become calm. She rose to her feet. “Whenever you are ready, have a shower. Do you want anything special for breakfast?” she asked calmly.

“Waffles,” Anna said. Instead of angry she now just sounded drained.

“Sounds good,” Julie said with a smile. “Just leave your clothes outside the bathroom door and I will collect them.” Even though Anna was going through a lot, Julie couldn’t help but be a little proud of herself that she was able to remain present for her child. She saw this as an opportunity to learn more about Anna and how to care for her needs as a mother. It also occurred to Julie that this could be an opportunity for Anna to learn how to care for her own emotional needs. After all, everyone needs that skill.

In the hallway, Julie said to Jeremy, “be sure to give Anna plenty of space.”

“Alright, mom,” Jeremy said. Jeremy instinctively knew that she wasn’t talking about physical space. From the tones he overheard, he surmised that his sister had wet the bed again. Even so, there was no judgment from Jeremy for the wet bed or Anna’s tone of voice. He just thought about how much he cared for her and what he could do for her.

Anna eventually got up from her bed. For the second day in a row she walked to the bathroom in wet pajamas. Whatever optimism she had built up from yesterday was shattered. She removed her wet clothes and placed them outside the bathroom door as her mother instructed. Julie collected them and started a load of laundry.

When Anna arrived at the kitchen table, Ashley and Jeremy had already been filled in as to what had happened. Her family tried to act natural and positive but the energy just wasn’t the same. A member of the family was distraught and the entire family naturally empathized.

At school Anna did her best to show a false facade. It worked well enough to fool her classmates, even her teachers. She even managed to cheer up a bit, even if it did feel fake to her.

At Anna’s house, Julie read self-help articles and watched videos to try to come up with some ideas to improve her parenting. She even read up on toileting to see if there was anything useful that she hadn’t considered. The literature showed her how much she had been doing wrong over the years. She never considered herself a bad mom but now realized how much better she could be.

Anna mentioned yesterday not wanting to wear pull-ups. Julie still thought it might be for the best at least through vacation or until they knew if the accidents were going to continue. Julie decided for now just to buy some pull-ups even if they won’t be used. She would leave it up to Anna. She went shopping and found pull-ups in Anna’s size. She thought that Anna was too old for the childish designs, but still made the purchase.

Later that evening, after supper, Julie entered Anna’s room. Anna was reading a book, but she set it down to give Julie her full attention.

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Julie asked tenderly and curiously.

“Alright,” Anna replied. Julie could tell that Anna was still bummed out.

“Alright? How did you feel at school?” Julie asked.

“I got through it. I just feel drained now. I dunno. I don’t really want to talk about it,” Anna responded.

“I did want to mention something but before I do I want you to know that whatever you decide is fine with me. There is no pressure either way. I did get some pull-ups that will fit you, but please just consider it an option. Your choice,” Julie offered.

Anna blushed and lowered her gaze to the floor.

Julie continued, “I just thought with everything that happened and with vacation coming up, well, I just want everyone to have a good time. Especially you, sweetheart. You can tell me how I can help make this the best vacation ever.”

“I’ll wear them,” Anna said. “After all, I need them,” she shrugged her shoulders.

“Alright, we will go with that,” Julie said. “I think it will make life easier for you,” she encouraged.

Julie touched Anna’s shoulder. Anna put her hand on Julie’s hand.

A moment passed and then Julie spoke, “I will just continue to give you space while you adjust. Thanks for being so grown-up about this.” Julie offered Anna a humble smile.

“You’re welcome,” Anna said.

Julie left the room. Anna waited patiently for her mother to return. When she did Anna looked at the package she was holding. A bright pink plastic rectangle. Julie gently handed the package to Anna. Anna took it in her hands and looked at it.

Julie said, “you know what to do so I will leave you to it. Well, goodnight.”

“Goodnight. Thank you,” Anna said.

A moment passed. Julie made her way to the door but paused when she thought of something else to say.

“Hey, Anna?” Julie asked.

“Yeah?” Anna replied.

“I want you to know that it’s alright to be sad,” Julie said, “it is well.”

Julie gingerly exited and left Anna hanging on those words.

Anna just looked at the package for a while getting used to the idea that she would be back in pull-ups for at least the next couple of weeks. She looked at the package for so long that she even read every word printed on it. She read the size and weight. All the warnings. Finally she said, “well, here goes.”

She lowered her pants and underwear and stepped out of them. She tore the bag along the perforated line. She removed a pull-up from the bag and looked at it for a moment before opening it. She stepped into the leg holes and slipped it on. She looked down at the juvenile underpants that now wrapped around her hips. She pulled on pajama pants and crawled into bed.

Exhausted, she hugged her face close to her pillow. She didn’t have much left in her tank. Only enough for one tear to escape her eye. She found some comfort in the thought of soon being fast asleep.

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Very nice, glad to see your writing more!

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Chapter Four

Trina awoke to her alarm. She arose from her bed immediately. She was excited to begin her daily chores. In the bathroom she brushed her teeth and had a shower. She dried off. She returned to her room and got dressed for the day. She went to the kitchen where she found Lorna.

“Need any help?” Trina asked.

“Will you grate potatoes for hashbrowns, beautiful?” Lorna asked.

“Absolutely, I will,” Trina replied with a smile. Trina eagerly got to work grating potatoes. She focused enough to be able to work on her technique as well as remain safe.

After grating enough potatoes she brewed coffee for Nathan and Lorna. Then she filled the dish sink with soapy water. Trina’s mouth watered at the thought of juicing herself a smoothie. She knew immediately that it was what she wanted for breakfast. From the fridge she gathered whatever fruits and vegetables her body was telling her it wanted. Apples, oranges, carrots, kale, and celery. She couldn’t help but smile when she looked at the beautiful array. She retrieved the juicer from the cabinet and plugged it in. She juiced all the produce.

“Want some?” Trina asked Lorna.

“Yes, please,” Lorna smiled back.

The two enjoyed their delicious smoothies.

Soon Nathan entered the kitchen and sang, “the best part of waking up is whiskey, er, um coffee in your cup.” He proceeded right to the coffee pot and poured himself a mug.

“Good morning, father,” Trina smiled, “How would you like your eggs?”

“Over easy,” Nathan smiled back, “thanks for cooking breakfast, beautiful.”

While Trina started cooking breakfast Lorna made sure all of Trina’s siblings were awake.

Since Trina had this opportunity to make breakfast for her family she made sure to plan ahead so everyone would get a nice hot meal. Since Nathan was the first one up she started his hashbrowns and fried enough bacon for everyone. When the bacon was done she turned off the heat and moved the pan to a cold burner and covered it. She flipped Nathan’s hashbrowns and then dropped his eggs. When one side was done she flipped the eggs carefully so as to not break the yokes. She popped toast in the toaster and made sure there was butter and a butter knife ready.

Trina entered a flow state. Lorna returned and Thomas was with her. She humbly instructed Lorna to set the table with peanut butter and jelly.

Lorna obliged. She didn’t show it but was really digging watching Trina develop her technique in the kitchen. She held space and attention for Trina while letting her take the lead.

Trina dropped potatoes for one more hashbrowns and asked Thomas how he wanted his eggs. After she had plated Nathan’s breakfast she dropped hashbrowns for Gerald and Zoe who had just arrived in the kitchen. Trina remained humble in the process of becoming excited that everything was timing out perfectly. She took deep breaths. She dropped over hard eggs for Thomas and then flipped his hashbrowns.

“Mother, will you beat scrambled eggs for two, please?” Trina asked calmly. She didn’t have to ask Gerald or Zoe how they wanted their eggs cooked.

“Yes, ma’am,” Lorna responded.

She dropped toast for Thomas and then queued four slices of bread; two each for her younger siblings. Lorna beat scrambled eggs while Trina kept a close eye on the skillet. Lorna gave the bowl to Trina and then asked, “anything else?”

“Just make sure father is topped off with coffee and whatever anyone else wants to drink,” Trina said passively. She realized surrendering to the task at hand made it more perfect and automatic. The opportunity to serve others was extremely motivating and satisfying.

She plated Thomas’ meal. Then for Gerald and Zoe, eggs, hashbrowns, toast, bacon. Trina exhaled. She smiled.

“Nice!” Lorna exclaimed as Trina set Gerald and Zoe’s plates on the table in front of them. The energy the mother and daughter felt was remarkable, although no one else understood their satisfaction.

“Hehehe,” Trina laughed, “thanks for your help.”

“Any time,” Lorna smiled.

Trina did dishes and then caught the bus to school. After school Trina got home and Lorna asked if she could have a moment to discuss something important. They went to the parents room and sat down on the bed.

“I spoke with aunt Julie on the phone today and she said she is buying pull-ups for Anna. It will be up to Anna if she wears them. It’s been several years since she has had to and she is already pretty bummed out. I just wanted to give you a heads up that either way she will need your support.” Lorna spoke from a place of emotional presence.

“Very well,” Trina said calmly and presently.

“Julie said that Anna spoke against wearing pull-ups yesterday. I trust you to be mature and maybe even be someone your cousin can confide in no matter what she chooses,” Lorna suggested.

“Yes, I will,” Trina said confidently, “of course I will.”

“Thanks beautiful, I knew I could count on you,” Lorna kissed Trina on the forehead.

Trina left her parents room but something from the conversation lingered on Trina’s mind: Anna’s pull-ups. Pull-ups. Like a diaper. Anna would decide if she would wear them or not. For hours Trina couldn’t shake the thoughts. She was fascinated by the idea of her cousin’s protective underwear. She played every scenario in her mind. Julie bought pull-ups. Anna decided to wear them. Anna decided not to wear them. Anna decided not to wear them and told her mother to fuck off.

Even the next day Trina was enraptured by the revelation. My mind doesn’t usually get stuck on something like this, but pull-ups are so not a big deal. Her heart immediately disagreed. It’s like a baby’s underpants worn to collect pee but a big girl will be wearing it. What kind of pull-up would fit Anna? I know from the ads that they are even made for adults. What kind were Anna’s? What did they look like? Did it look like it was for babies or adults? Or for someone in between like Anna? Like Trina. How would it look on me? How does it feel to wear one?

She pulled out her smart phone and entered a search: bedwetting pull-ups. She switched to images and several varieties appeared. Some were plain white and some had designs. When Trina saw that there were even diapers with tapes she reflexively gasped. She went into a trance. “Whoa,” she said out loud. A rare moment of discombobulation for her. What am I doing? I’ll go clean the bathroom, I guess.

Suddenly everything reminded her of diapers. The toilet. The feminine pads under the sink. Trina took one out of the package and opened the wrapper. She admired its softness. She admired the quilted top and the plastic bottom.

Lorna appeared in the doorway. “Oh, Trina, did you start your first period?” she asked curiously. “My baby girl is becoming a woman,” she smiled.

“No,” Trina said quickly, “I, um.” She was at a loss. A moment passed. “Sorry… I actually don’t know what I’m doing.” She put the pad back in the bag.

“Oh, it’s fine,” Lorna said, “let me know if you ever have any questions.” Lorna left not wanting to embarrass her daughter.

What’s come over me? I am usually so composed.

Trina decided to distract herself with a video game for a while. She turned on the console in the living room and gamed for a while.

Bed time came eventually and Trina performed her nighttime routine. She crawled under her covers. Lorna entered the room to tuck her in. “Sorry if I startled you earlier, I guess I got a little over-excited,” Lorna said.

“No, it isn’t your fault,” Trina said shaking her head.

“So what were you doing?” Lorna asked curiously.

“I guess I was thinking about Anna’s pull-ups,” Trina admitted. “Then I saw your pads under the sink when I was cleaning. I guess I took one out because I was curious to see what it looked like.”

“Oh, now I see,” Lorna said, “well that makes sense, they kind of do the same thing, huh?”

“Yeah, kinda,” Trina said.

“Well, I think Anna is very fortunate to have a cousin like you.” Lorna touched her finger to Trina’s nose.

“And I am very fortunate to have a mommy like you,” Trina said in a rare moment of vulnerability. For a moment she realized she was a teen with a lot left to figure out. She smiled warmly up at her mother.

“Aww,” Lorna said and then leaned down to kiss her daughter goodnight. “Goodnight, beautiful,” she said.

“Goodnight, mother,” Trina said.

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Really loving your work so far! No need to feel insecure, it’s a great story building up. And truly, if you feel you need to improve, the only real way is practice!

Can’t wait for the next installment!!

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Chapter Five

Anna awoke to a dry bed but braced for impact. She reached down to feel that she now wore a wet pull-up. After yesterday’s exhaustion there wasn’t much energy left to feel especially bad about another nighttime accident; although she certainly didn’t feel too good about it. She pulled her covers off and crawled out of bed.

The complexity of Anna’s emotions were difficult for her young mind to reconcile. On one hand she wondered if she was over-reacting just to get attention. On the other hand, she wondered if she was dismissing too much of what she felt in order to lessen her reaction. She worried that her outburst yesterday had offended her mother. She wanted to find balance for herself and those around her but wasn’t balanced now which made her feel even worse.

Anna entered the hallway where Julie met her. “Good morning, sweetheart,” Julie said warmly.

“Good morning,” Anna barely got out. She approached Julie to receive a hug. Without enough energy to hug her mother back she just let her arms dangle at her sides. “I’m sorry I yelled and said a swear word yesterday.”

“You don’t need to apologize for that,” Julie said reassuringly. “Sometimes we need to yell. If you yell too much there might be a problem, but don’t worry about that, you hardly ever yell so you are just fine.”

“Okay,” Anna responded.

“How did it feel to yell and let it out?” Julie asked curiously.

Anna shrugged her shoulders. “It kinda felt like I was vibrating a lot when I yelled but then the vibrating slowed down after that but it took a little while for it to.”

“Anything else?” Julie asked.

“Just self-conscious that you might be mad that I said a bad word,” Anna said.

“You were feeling insecure about something you said? Is that right?” Julie asked.

“Mm-hmm, insecure,” Anna nodded.

“Well I promise to never scold you for speaking your truth,” Julie said calmly. Then she expressed seriously and asked, “our emotions don’t always look pretty, do they?”

“No,” Anna shook her head.

Julie kissed Anna’s forehead gently and said, “you’re doing really well, girl. I appreciate you.” Julie put her hand on Anna’s shoulder. “By the way, how did it go last night?” Julie asked optimistically yet calmly.

“My pull-up is wet if that’s what you mean,” Anna said.

“I see,” Julie said without judgment. “Did it hold everything?”

Anna became noticeably uncomfortable but managed to nod her head in response to Julie’s question. Then she walked to the bathroom.

“Alright then, see you at breakfast,” Julie said. Julie accepted that it would take longer for Anna to bounce back. She determined that she was going too fast for Anna. She considered ways to meet Anna where Anna was comfortable, and not try to jump ahead to where Julie was comfortable.

Julie took a step back and considered how much Anna had been through a over the last few days. She realized that this was a complex situation for Anna. I think that I praised her too much when she was out of pull-ups at night. It had a lot to do with how Anna feels right now and my remorse is coming from a place inside that is telling me how much better I could have and should have done. What would love look like in this situation? How can I better understand the infinite complexities of the emotions of others. My empathy is unlimited. Julie instantly considered that to be her new mantra.

“My empathy is unlimited,” Julie said out loud. “My empathy is unlimited.” She poured her own personal magic into the words. With fullness of heart she believed the words that she spoke.

In the kitchen.

“Did you talk to Anna today?” Ashley asked.

“I did,” Julie nodded.

“How is she?” Ashley asked.

“I hope she’s feeling a tiny bit better, but she still has some stuff to work out. I just have to remember that I am only here to help her and that she’s the one who gets to do her own emotional labor,” Julie said humbly.

Ashley contemplated what Julie said for a moment and then said, “good attitude, wife.” He was astounded by her wisdom.

“Hehe,” Julie laughed, “thank you, husband.” She smiled and felt delighted to have a husband that truly saw deeply into her soul.

Jeremy entered the kitchen. “Good morning,” he said.

“Good morning,” Ashley and Julie said simultaneously.

“So yeah, like I was just saying, all Anna needs from us is space to work out her own emotions,” Julie said. “She’s doing really well, in my opinion. She’s right where she needs to be, and how could that ever be any different?”

“Yeah,” Jeremy said as he tried to absorb all of Julie’s motherly wisdom.

Julie looked at her husband and son and then said sincerely, “I am so thankful for the men in my life.”

“I appreciate that,” Ashley said.

“Love you, mom,” Jeremy said.

“I love you too, son,” Julie smiled warmly.

Anna was the last to enter the kitchen. “Welcome to breakfast, Anna,” Julie said, already forgetting her own advice about giving Anna space. Maybe I am still trying too hard. “Okay, chill out, mom,” she muttered to herself. “Please, help yourself, Anna.” Julie reminded herself to try to match Anna’s energy instead of expecting Anna to match her energy.

The family had breakfast together, but didn’t say much. Ashley went to work and then Jeremy and Anna walked to school.

Julie called Lorna. The two made small talk for a while and then Lorna asked, “how is Anna doing?”

“She decided to wear nighttime protection. Unfortunately, she is still bummed out. I think she is feeling a little better today. Either way I’m really proud of her. I think the biggest thing for her is having this happen so close to vacation. Seems like she is mad at life and I can’t say I blame her if she is.”

“Oh, so she did decide to wear protection. I’ll let Trina know ahead of time if that is alright with you,” Lorna said.

“Mm-hmm. I think it was a mature decision on Anna’s part. I know there won’t be any judgment from you or Trina, but I also understand that Anna might not be ready to accept that yet. Remember how insecure we could be at that age?” Julie asked and laughed a little.

“Yes, although I can only imagine what she is going through. And you’re right, no judgment here. We’ll just try to adjust to Anna’s timing,” Lorna said.

“Thank you, sister,” Julie said sincerely.

“Any time, Jules,” Lorna said.

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Chapter Six

Trina’s mind didn’t stop. There was something that she needed to figure out. She kept spinning her wheels. For the zillionth time she went over it again: Anna might wear pull-ups to sleep at night to help with her nighttime accidents. She is feeling bad about it. I can see how that could throw a twelve year old off their game. The loss of independence. Will she decide to? How would it feel? I think she should wear one. I think I should wear one too. She finally realized.

“What?” Trina said out loud. She didn’t understand it but knew it was true and from the heart. “Where did that come from?” She sat up in bed. “I should wear one?” she asked herself. “Why?” She didn’t doubt her inner discovery but just wanted to know more. “I should wear a…,” she hesitated. She was afraid to say it because of self-judgment. She forced herself to admit out loud what her heart desired, “I want to wear a diaper.” It felt good to admit. “But why?” She still wanted to know.

This new self-discovery was taking up a lot of Trina’s attention and energy, but she didn’t mind. She loved the thought. With it came energy that washed over her. It was like her heart was telling her, ‘that’s it!’ She simply allowed the thoughts to remain. She welcomed them and played with them in her mind. She even allowed herself to forget about the why for a while. And the where, when and how. She just played with the feelings the thoughts gave her. The feelings were up high and way down low and everywhere in between.

“D…,” she bit her lip and then laughed nervously. She wondered what it was about the word, the object. Its alright, I can say it. Its not a bad word or anything. “Diaper,” she spoke gently. She spoke slowly and enunciated. She said it a few more times. Something deep and profound stirred within. She squirmed a little. She let out a sigh.

Trina was amazed at the energy her body held and the new tricks it had learned in such a short time. Things came to the surface she never knew were there. She savored every moment.

Eventually she got back to her question: Why? Because it’ll help Anna feel better. Her subconscious had been able to push it to the surface. Yeah, that’s it. If I wear one it might, no… it will help Anna feel better. I know it will. I also want it for myself, but this can’t be selfish. Anna first. My goodness though, I really want to wear a… “A diaper,” she said it out loud yet again.

A moment later Lorna entered Trina’s room. “Good morning Trina, I came to see if you were up yet,” she said. Typically, Trina would have been hard at work by this time. Although she was hard at work but mentally instead of physically.

“Yeah, I’ve just been mulling something over,” Trina said feigning composure. She expressed calmer than usual.

“Do you need more time? I can take care of breakfast on my own this morning if you want,” Lorna said.

Trina shook her head. “No, I need you here with me now,” she said.

Lorna sat down next to Trina. “Is there something you want to talk about?” she asked. She sensed Trina wasn’t her usual, chipper self. She didn’t judge Trina or expect anything from her. She just wanted to provide Trina with space in her motherly fashion.

Trina thought deeply for a moment. She tried to relax her mind in order to get something useful. “Yes,” she said.

“Alright, what’s on your mind? We have all the time in the world,” Lorna said. She tried to remain present. She slowed down to match Trina’s energy.

Trina took her time. She recognized the opportunity. “How is Anna doing? Did you talk to Aunt Julie?” Trina asked.

“Yes, your Aunt Julie said that Anna has been bummed out, she asked for our understanding and support,” Lorna explained.

“Did Anna decide if she was gonna wear the pull-ups that Aunt Julie got her?” Trina asked.

“Yes, she did decide to wear them,” Lorna said nodding.

“That’s what’s on my mind, I’m bummed out too. Its like I can feel what she is going though,” Trina said.

Lorna listened intently.

Trina paused for a moment. “I want to help Anna. I need to,” Trina explained. She scrambled to make her point known to Lorna. She felt a lump in her throat. “And I know how I can.”

“Okay, I’m listening,” Lorna said.

“I want to wear a d…” Trina stumbled. She audibly exhaled. She inhaled. “I want to wear a diaper too so Anna doesn’t have to go it alone,” she finally got out. Let this work.

“Oh,” Lorna said surprised, “okay.” Lorna understood where Trina was coming from right away. She even agreed with Trina that it would help Anna. “Good idea! I’ll tell Julie and maybe she can bring some extra pull-ups for you,” Lorna said.

“No,” Trina said reactionary. Her heart told her that wasn’t it. “No, can you keep it between us for now?” she asked.

“O-okay,” Lorna said confused.

“Promise?” Trina asked.

“Yes, I promise to keep it between you and me for now,” Lorna said sincerely.

“Thanks,” Trina said sincerely, “and if its alright with you I really need to go above and beyond for her. I get that she’s bummed out. I really do get it. And I accept it. But I need her to see that it is no big deal to me and so I want to wear a real diaper. Like with tapes and everything,” Trina admitted. Please let this work.

“Really?” Lorna asked confused, “are you sure? I’m sure that…”

“Please,” Trina interrupted her mother. “I am just really feeling for Anna right now and I think I need this as much as her. I need her to be alright. It’s vacation time. It’s such a great family tradition that if Anna doesn’t enjoy it, I don’t know how I will be able to and I know I can help, so I have to do something about it,” Trina channeled something deep within. She was proud that she remained mostly honest and forthcoming.

“Oh, now I understand,” Lorna said.

“I hope you will enable me to do this for my family. I need your help,” Trina spoke form the heart.

“I admire your good attitude, Trina,” Lorna smiled gently. “Yes, I will help because I believe you have the magic to help Anna. Let me know if you change your mind, though.”

“No, I won’t change my mind,” Trina knew instantly. “I need to help,” as she spoke Trina realized the truth of her words.

Lorna smiled brightly. The two maintained eye contact for a moment. Lorna asked, “so where do we find diapers like that? That will fit you I mean?”

“Online,” Trina said. She instantly remembered her internet search from before. She pulled out her smart phone and repeated the search. Then she handed the phone to her mother. “See, mother, this kind has tapes and everything,” Trina said as her eyes grew wide.

“Alright, I’ll let you handle the online order. Let me get my credit card.” Lorna left the room.

Trina tapped around until she found the exact right product. The store offered baby wipes as well so she added a pack of those. She made the purchase and then took a mental step back. Her mind had been racing for so long that it felt good to calm down for a moment. She breathed deeply. She realized that she would wear a diaper. It seemed so surreal to her. The thought was so new and pretty that she played with it for a while. What will it feel like? I know I will enjoy it. Why will I enjoy such a peculiar thing?

Why is there an ‘a’ in the word ‘diaper’? Trina searched for the definition of the word. She found a video of how to pronounce it. The word appeared on the screen and a robot voice said, “Die-per, Die-ah-per.” Oh, there are different pronunciations. The ‘a’ doesn’t have to be silent. I will go with the second one since it sounds fancier to me.

Later on, Lorna asked Trina, “did you get them ordered?”

“I did,” Trina said. “Hey mom, do you think it’s too strange? The plan I came up with I mean?”

“Well, if it was anyone else I would think so. But since its you, it doesn’t surprise me. You came up with something that will work. You’re like a secret agent,” Lorna smiled and winked.

Trina smiled at the amazing compliment.

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You are absolutely crushing it!

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Very much appreciated. It helps knowing that some are enjoying this story. Its very motivating to continue writing.

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Chapter Seven

Even though Anna had become much better at hiding how she felt, Julie’s intuition still told her something was not right. While she was really digging her new empathic abilities, she realized that she couldn’t fix Anna. Anna was the only one who could do that. Julie wished she could go back in time with the knowledge of child psychology that she now possessed and somehow take back the emotional labor that she gave Anna.

She still blamed herself for over-praising Anna when she was out of pull-ups at night. Julie now saw that pull-ups were just a tool and nothing more. Its like a baby bottle. When a child is old enough to drink from a cup, you don’t shower them with praise. You just treat it as a loving way to meet the child’s needs. In that case, staying hydrated. Diapers in general are viewed as a bad thing when a child outgrows them. This is bigger than our household. How can I help the world to eliminate stigmas in general?

Although Julie was grateful for the wisdom she had gained as a mother, she never stopped thinking about how she could make things right. For a start she would try to normalize pull-ups and treat them as just a tool instead of something that was bad since she had considered it a good thing when her children were out of them.

“Good morning, Anna,” Julie said.

“Good morning, mom,” Anna replied.

“How did you sleep last night?” Julie asked.

“I slept well. I did wet again though,” Anna responded.

“Ah, and did the pull-up hold up?” Julie asked curiously.

“Yep,” Anna replied rolling her eyes. She was annoyed that her mother constantly brought up her nighttime protective underwear.

“Hmm,” Julie replied, remaining neutral. She felt like she could win awkward mother of the year award at that point. Also, they’re conversations had seemed so robotic lately. She decided not to let her fear get in the way. She determined to do the things that she was afraid of because it was the right thing. Especially if it was to correct her faulty parenting.

After Ashley left for work and Jeremy and Trina left for school, Julie decided that she needed a distraction. She wanted to remain productive so she decided to do some Uber. She grabbed some cold water bottles from the fridge and put them in a cooler for herself and her passengers. She then went to the garage where she unplugged her Tesla and got in. She turned it on and checked the battery. The gauge read 243 miles remaining. She opened the Uber app on her phone. She only had to wait a couple of minutes to get a passenger. She pulled out of the driveway and started driving to her first pick-up spot.

Since it was busy it was easy for Julie to get into a flow state. One trip linked into the next linked into the next. It felt good to not be able to think about anything else for a while.

After doing Uber for a few hours she went home for lunch. She made herself a salad and when she finished eating it she felt the same thoughts as before rushing back. They came back with a vengeance after pushing them aside for so long. When she realized that Anna was hiding how she really felt because her family really wanted her to get over it, Julie lost it. She instantly started crying. She didn’t cover her eyes with her hands. She just sat at the table and let herself cry. Paradoxically, it felt good to cry even though she felt bad for putting Anna in this predicament. She surrendered to it and just bawled her eyes out.

At Trina’s house a package arrived in a plain brown box. Lorna was the only one home so she retrieved it from the front porch. She was confused at first but when she saw that it was addressed to Trina she realized that it was the diapers. Lorna remembered the promise she made to Trina. She brought the box to Trina’s room and placed it inside the door.

When Trina arrived home from school she was greeted by Lorna. “A special delivery came for you today. Its in your room. Still our little secret for now,” Lorna said. She winked at Trina.

“Thanks, mother,” Trina said smiling.

Trina didn’t admit it but she knew the package had arrived since she had been keeping a close eye on the tracking information from her phone. She walked to her room, set her backpack down and then picked up the box off the floor. She opened it and saw what was inside. She took out the baby wipes and set them aside. She was more interested in the larger package. She gently picked up the rectangular plastic pack and held it in her hands. She had allowed her thoughts of diapers to mostly subside the last couple of days although they hadn’t disappeared completely. Now that she held the pack in her hands the thoughts and feelings came flooding back. She didn’t resist them.

Trina admired every detail of the package. She looked through the transparent plastic at the top to see how the diapers were neatly folded and in a row. She studied every side of the package, reading every single word as she went along. She wanted to see what one looked like out of the pack but managed to overcome her selfish desire. She remembered that this was for Anna first.

She placed the package in her dresser along with the package of baby wipes. She took a step back both physically and mentally. She wondered how she hadn’t realized until a couple days ago that she wanted this so badly. The triggering event was the thought of Anna going back to wearing pull-ups at night. I’m actually very thankful that she started wetting the bed again because now I know about this mysterious part of me. I probably would have figured it out anyways, but at least this way I can use it to help Anna. And it gives me a reason to have diapers in the house. Its all working out for me but still, I owe her one. Trina started to think about ways that she could pay Anna back for something Anna didn’t even know she had done for Trina.

While she was holding the pack Trina realized she had never put one on herself or anyone else for that matter. She wanted her first time to be special, perfect even. It occurred to her to ask Lorna for help with it. She suddenly felt very nervous. Getting a pro to help her out could be a great learning opportunity and it would ensure that she had a great fitting diaper. But something wrenched at Trina’s gut at the thought of asking Lorna to do this for her. It also occurred to her that it could be another way of going above and beyond what Anna had to do since Anna undoubtedly put on her own pull-ups. If Anna sees me get diapered then her situation will seem like nothing in comparison. Mom has done it thousands of times. What’s one more? She determined to face her fear and insecurity head on. She found a little courage when she thought: you only live once.

Trina went to speak with Lorna. “Looks like we are all set,” Trina said. “Have you spoken with Julie? Do you know how Anna is holding up?”

“She is putting on a brave face but Julie still knows something is wrong,” Lorna said. “I wanted to tell her that you have something special planned but I still remember the promise that we made.”

“Thanks,” Trina said. “Although, I hope she isn’t feeling too bad.”

“I have a feeling that it won’t be for much longer anyways,” Lorna smiled.

When she decided to ask Lorna to diaper her, Trina became nervous. Her gut wrenched again. She sincerely hoped for her mother’s affirmative response but would accept whatever Lorna decided.

“Oh yeah, I realized that I don’t know how to put one on, and I kinda wanted to ask you for help with it,” Trina looked at the ground. She blushed bright red. She felt so awkward but she congratulated herself for doing something that she was afraid of. Still, the nerves twisted in her chest.

“Wait, what? Oh, do you want me to help you put on a diaper?” Lorna asked.

“Yeah, I kinda need your help to get it on correctly. After the first time I can do it myself since I will have a better idea of how to,” Trina said. Her voice was a little stronger now that the new part of her plan was out in the open.

“Do you want me to just show you now?” Lorna asked.

The temptation was strong for Trina. Her cousin gave her strength once again when she thought: Anna first. “Well, I was just thinking about Anna and that since she puts on her own nighttime protection…” Trina explained.

“And if you get yours put on by your mom, then it’ll help her feel less insecure,” it clicked right into place for Lorna. “Now I see. Wow, you are really going all out for her, huh? You must really care for her.”

“You have no idea,” Trina laughed a little. She realized how much Anna meant to her. And after going though all this she knew that her love would only grow.

Lorna smiled. She felt joy welling up inside. “Yeah, I’ll help you with it. I’ll do anything for my family. And after all, I’m a pro,” Lorna said as she joyously reminisced about taking care of her children in infancy.

Trina smiled brightly. “Thanks for your understanding,” she said sincerely.

Trina and Lorna shared a hug. Trina’s awkwardness disappeared when she didn’t feel any judgment coming from Lorna. She realized that all of her judgment was self-judgment. She was thrilled at how open her mother was to her question.

“I’m so excited for vacation this year. I really hope this works and that everyone can have the best vacation ever,” Trina said.

“I have a feeling it will be one of the best ever,” Lorna said.

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Chapter Eight

After school on Friday Anna and Jeremy went straight home to pack. Their goal was to be ready when Ashley was done with work so they could immediately start their drive to Trina’s house. Anna had been offered to go hunting this year, but had reluctantly declined. Instead she looked forward to spending time with her cousins and aunt.

Anna was mostly excited but still felt some dread. She decided to hope for the best since she knew how grown-up and supportive Trina was. Even so, she was still nervous. I know its Trina but still, I wear pull-ups. Pull-ups! What if she sees them? I already feel like the biggest baby in the world without her seeing my diapers with childish designs all over them.

Julie had remained persistent. She was drained and didn’t know how to be an effective parent in this situation. What am I supposed to do, just give up? I can’t just give up on being a mother. Gotta go through it. Her task to normalize pull-ups went on even though to Anna and even to Julie it had just seemed repetitive at this point. Julie tried to tell herself that she was making progress but didn’t believe it. She was glad it was vacation time. She desperately needed it.

“Do you have your toothbrush?” Julie asked Anna.

“Yes,” Anna replied.

“Socks and underwear?”

“Yep.”

“I saw that you packed your pull-ups so I know that we are good there,” Julie said. It sounded robotic at this point.

“Mom, yeah, we all know I wear pull-ups to bed, you don’t have to keep bringing it up,” Anna said annoyed.

“Okay then,” Julie said not reacting to Anna’s tone. “Can you think of anything you might have missed?”

“No,” Anna said.

“I guess we are ready then. Hunting season, yay,” Julie forced a smile.

Anna sat in the back seat and listened to music on her headphones. She and Julie were both drained and a little tired of each other. Ashley and Jeremy’s energy was intense and focused. They were getting in the zone. They shifted into a more primal demeanor.

The drive took an hour. It was dark out when they pulled up to the large log house. Snow was shoveled neatly off of the driveway. The walkways were brightly lit. Everything outside the house looked neat and tidy. A moment after pulling into the driveway Trina walked out the front door. She didn’t contain her excitement while she greeted her guests. She hugged each one as they approached no matter how much luggage they carried.

“Hi, Trina, how’s everything?” Julie smiled brightly.

“Hi, Aunt Julie, we are all good here,” Trina smiled back. “Hi Uncle Ash, I think father has a beer for you,” Trina smiled at Ashley.

“Oh, excellent, that’ll hit the spot,” Ashley smiled.

“Hey, Jeremy!” Trina exclaimed.

“Hey, Trina, what’s up?” Jeremy replied.

“Hey, Anna,” Trina tried to match Anna’s energy but was so delighted that she smiled warmly at her.

“Hi, Trina, its so good to see you,” Anna said calmly.

“How was the drive?” Trina asked.

“Good, I just listened to music the whole way,” Anna responded.

“You’ll be staying with me in my room of course. Let me carry your bag.” She grabbed Anna’s bag and carried it for her.

“Do you have anything else?” Trina asked.

“No, that’s it,” Anna replied.

“Okay. I cleared out the bottom dresser drawer for you if you want to put your stuff in there later,” Trina said.

“Okay,” Anna said nervously. Suddenly all she thought about was hiding her pull-ups. She blushed. Somehow she worried that Trina would look in her bag which Anna knew was preposterous.

“I’ll go put this in my room and then we can see the men off. Gerry’s first year, I’m so excited!” Trina said excitedly.

“Yeah, me too. I really hope he shoots one,” Anna said.

“Me too,” Trina said.

In the living room Nathan, Ashley and Thomas were each drinking a beer.

“No fair, Thomas gets to drink beer now,” Trina said jokingly.

“Only one,” Nathan said in a relaxed tone. “Start coming out with us, Trina and maybe you can have your first beer. Just one though.”

“Next thing I know Gerry’s gonna be drinking whiskey,” Trina said and then tickled Gerald.

“Yuck,” Gerry laughed. He retreated from Trina’s tickle attack.

“Gerry is still too young for beer. Maybe next year he can have one,” Nathan said.

“I hope you get one this year, Gerry,” Lorna said, “you too, Jeremy.” She didn’t need to tell Thomas. She’d be surprised if Thomas didn’t get a buck.

“The counts are up this year. We can really make it count, guys,” Nathan said encouragingly.

They finished their beers and walked out to Nathan’s truck. Ashley and Jeremy loaded their bags in the back and then got in. Ashley in the front and Jeremy with Thomas and Gerald in the back.

Ashley kissed Trina goodbye. “See you soon, sweetheart. Take care,” he spoke lovingly.

Nathan hugged Trina and Zoe simultaneously. “Hold down the fort, eh?” he said encouragingly.

“Of course,” Trina said confidently.

“Bye, daddy,” Zoe said.

Nathan kissed Lorna goodbye. “And so we commence another annual hunting trip,” he declared. “Farewell, ladies.”

The hunting group drove away. The five ladies waved goodbye until the truck was out of sight.

“How are you feeling, Zoe?” Lorna asked.

“Tired,” Zoe replied.

“Tired? Should we go get you tucked into bed?” Lorna asked.

Zoe nodded.

“Julie, I’m gonna get Zoe tucked in. Can I offer you a glass of wine after that?” Lorna asked.

“Yes, please,” Julie said delighted.

“Trina do you and Anna want some hot cocoa?” Lorna asked.

“Yes, mother,” Trina replied. “Anna, would you care for a hot cocoa?”

“Mm-hmm, yes please,” Anna nodded.

Lorna and Zoe went to Zoe’s room. Trina got some water boiling on the stove. She fetched two mugs from the cabinet. When Lorna got back she opened a bottle of wine.

The four ladies sat at the table and had girl talk for a while. The issue of Anna’s bedwetting was eventually brought up by Trina, “Anna, my mom found out from your mom that you started wetting the bed again.”

“Yeah,” Anna said discouraged. She looked down at her mug. Her fingers fidgeted with the handle.

Trina sensed the energy in the room shift to awkward. She said, “which is no big deal. Just one of those things, you know?”

“Yeah,” Anna said. She was clearly embarrassed to be talking about it.

“And I just want you to know that I won’t judge you one bit. Your mom said you were having a tough time with it is all. I wanted to mention it. Break the ice or something like that,” Trina said unassumingly.

“I hope you don’t think its weird that I wear pull-ups to bed,” Anna said too afraid to look up from her mug.

“Not at all,” Trina shook her head. “Actually, mom is putting me back in diapers at night during your stay, so you have absolutely nothing to worry about when it comes to that,” Trina smiled slightly.

“What?” Anna said shocked.

“Lorna, you don’t need to do that,” Julie said confused.

“Actually it was Trina’s idea. I just decided to play along,” Lorna said. She felt relaxed from her glass of wine.

“Really?” Julie said. “Trina are you sure, I’m sure Anna will be fine…”

“Really, Aunt Julie,” Trina interrupted, “I don’t mind one bit. When I heard Anna was having a hard time I knew that I had to help,” she smiled humbly at Anna who just looked astounded.

“Wow,” was all Julie could think to say. Maybe solidarity is exactly what Anna needs in order to process.

“Speaking of which, mother,” Trina said, “I am going to retire to my chamber. Please wait a moment and then join me. Goodnight, Aunt Julie.”

“Sure,” Lorna said.

“Goodnight. Um, thanks,” Julie said sincerely.

“See you in a little bit, Anna,” Trina smiled warmly.

“Y-yeah,” Anna responded.

Chapter Nine

Trina entered her room. She was anxious. She took deep belly breaths to calm down. Finally, she would get to help her cousin and know how it felt to wear a diaper. Her anxiousness subsided and gave way to a calm presence.

Trina gingerly walked to her dresser. She opened the top drawer. “Mmm,” she said reflexively when she saw the pack. She felt her heart pound in her chest. She took the pack in her hands and opened it along the perforated line. Finally. She removed a diaper. She looked at it for the first time out of the pack.

She held the white rectangle in front of her and admired it for a moment. She walked to her bed and gently set it down. She removed her shirt, pants, underwear and socks. She now only wore a white training bra.

Trina lied down on her bed and bent her knees pointing them towards the ceiling. She had rehearsed this moment in her mind a dozen times and remembered just how she wanted it to go. She waited patiently.

Anna walked to Trina’s room and stepped inside. She was surprised to find Trina naked from the waist down. “Oh, um, sorry I’ll come back later,” she said startled.

“Non-sense,” Trina said calmly. “Please come in, love.”

“Oh, um, okay,” Anna said. She avoided looking directly at Trina out of respect for her privacy. “Hey, Trina?” she asked.

“Yes?” Trina responded.

“Thanks for doing this, but you know, you don’t have to. I’ll be fine just knowing how much you care for me,” Anna said.

“I know I don’t have to. I want to. After all, you are family. I love you,” Trina said tenderly. She turned her head and looked at Anna.

Anna looked up and met Trina’s eyes. When they made eye contact Anna suddenly realized that Trina was doing this for her. Until now she hadn’t accepted that someone would do something so nice for her. Her heart welled up with love when she realized how much Trina cared for her. How much another human being cared for her. “I-I love you too, Trina,” she said meekly.

Lorna entered the room and found Trina and Anna chatting. “Alright, Trina, just let mom take care of everything,” Lorna said as she felt long-forgotten motherly instincts kick in.

“Of course,” Trina responded.

Lorna picked up the diaper off the bed. She unfolded it and quickly determined the front and back.

“Please lift up,” Lorna said. Trina reflexively obeyed her mother’s command by lifting her hips off the bed.

Lorna slid the open diaper under Trina’s bottom. Trina lowered her hips back down. She straightened her legs out. My work is done. Now I just get to enjoy the ride.

“There are four tapes on these, mother, you might be used to two,” Trina mentioned. She made sure that she wore the diaper according to it’s design.

“Ah, so there are,” Lorna said after closer inspection.

Lorna lifted the front of the diaper up and taped it into place.

Trina just lied there for a moment and savored. She reveled in the feelings that she experienced. A diaper. I’m wearing a diaper. Each time she said it in her mind an emotional wave washed over her. She enjoyed the raw power of her emotions. She knew that the feelings that led her to this moment were correct. She knew that it wasn’t just some random curiosity that would fade as quickly as it appeared. Her complete lack of disappointment in this moment let her know that this was a part of her. Forever.

Trina finally sat up and noticed how her mother looked at her lovingly. And that Anna was still too shy to look.

“Alright then, goodnight girls,” Lorna hugged Trina and then hugged Anna.

“Goodnight, mommy,” Trina said sweetly.

“Goodnight, Aunt Lorna,” Anna said.

Since Anna was shy, Trina decided to break the ice. She stood up. “So, what do you think?” she asked Anna.

Anna finally looked. Her older cousin now wore a much more remarkable garment than she had worn the last few nights. Anna just stared and was speechless. She didn’t know what to make of it.

“Hello, earth to Anna,” Trina said jokingly.

Anna snapped out if it. “Oh, um, yeah, you kinda look like an over-sized baby.”

“Haha,” Trina laughed loudly. She sucked on her thumb jokingly.

“Hehehe,” Anna laughed reflexively. The two girls joked around about it for a while.

When the energy in the room settled down Trina asked curiously, “hey, what kind of pull-ups do you wear? May I see one?”

Anna realized that her desire to hide her pull-ups from Trina had diminished. “Yeah, sure. They just look like big baby diapers with designs all over them,” Anna said rolling her eyes.

“Let’s face it, I’m the biggest baby in the house tonight,” Trina laughed.

Anna retrieved a pull-up from her luggage. Trina watched intently, genuinely interested to see how it looked. Anna handed it to her.

“Oh, cute,” Trina said. She admired the different shades of pink and the all-over print of hearts and stars.

“Yeah, right,” Anna responded sarcastically.

“Can I see you put it on, or do you want me to close my eyes? I promise I won’t look,” Trina assured.

“Would you close your eyes, please?” Anna asked embarrassed.

Trina closed her eyes and hid her face in her pillow. “I promise I won’t look but when you are done can I please, please, please see how it looks on you, pleeeease?” she pleaded.

“Alright, fine, since I got to see you in your giant diaper, I guess you can see me in my dainty, little pull-ups,” Anna agreed.

“Yay! Alright cool tell me when I can look, okay?” Trina excitedly kicked her legs on her bed.

A moment passed.

“Alright, you can look now,” Anna said.

Trina looked at Anna who now wore a pull-up and a pajama shirt. “You’re absolutely the cutest thing in the world, love!” she exclaimed.

“Hehehe,” Anna laughed reflexively. She felt genuinely good for the first time in days. “Um, thank you so much, Trina,” Anna said sincerely. “I really was having a tough time and, well, just thanks.” Anna’s eyes welled up.

“You’re welcome,” Trina said sincerely. She was filled with joy because her plan had worked. She smiled warmly at her cousin. She was so thankful to witness this miraculous shift that Anna was able to accomplish. She hugged Anna. They spent a long moment in each other’s embrace.

“Well, I’m gonna hit the hay, how about you?” Trina asked.

“Mm-hmm, I’m tired,” Anna said.

“Goodnight, Anna,” Trina said.

“Goodnight, Trina,” Anna said.

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The end of this chapter is a little more risqué than previous chapters. Nothing vulgar in my opinion, but I just wanted to give a fair warning.

Chapter Ten

Trina awoke but not to an alarm. She decided to unplug it during vacation. She lied in bed. The feeling of wearing a diaper still sent emotional waves through her nervous system. I’m wearing a diaper. It feels kind of naughty in a way. I’m always so proper and grown-up. This is the complete opposite. We are supposed to be potty trained when we are toddlers. Here I am wearing a… “A diaper,” she whispered. She didn’t want to wake up Anna.

Trina wished that this feeling could last forever. Every so often she peeked under the blanket to look at the white, padded undergarment that elegantly swathed her hips and groin. She thought that the sight of it was gorgeous but she still preferred the feeling of how it felt to be back in diapers. Every so often she reached down and felt the front and back padding. While she waited for Anna to awaken she savored every single moment.

In the spirit of doing more than what Anna had to Trina decided that she would not remove her diaper until it was wet. Trina determined that undoubtedly Anna’s pull-ups were just in case of a nighttime accident and that if she were to remain dry at night that she would just discard them, unused. Since Trina was going above and beyond what Anna had to do she would require herself to pee in her diaper before taking it off. She kept her Anna first policy in mind but she was also curious to know how it felt to wet. She needed to pee now but held it.

An hour passed and then Anna fluttered her eye’s open.

“Good morning, love,” Trina said from her calm, blissful euphoria.

“Good morning, Trina,” Anna said groggily.

“If its not too personal I’d like to know if you had a nighttime accident last night,” Trina stated.

Anna removed her blanket and felt inside her pajama pants. Her pull-up was wet. “Ugh, yeah,” she said frustrated.

“Let me see,” Trina requested. She pulled back her covers and hopped out of bed. She walked to Anna’s bed. Anna slightly lowered her pajama pants to let Trina look. “Looks like the pull-up did it’s job. Tell me how you feel right now,” Trina said.

Anna’s eyes looked surprised. In an optimistic tone she said, “a lot better. I dunno, seeing how brave you were to get diapered by your mom in front of me made me feel a whole lot better about having to wear pull-ups.”

Trina felt joy well up inside of her because Anna confirmed that her plan had worked. Trina noticed that Anna didn’t feel the same about pull-ups as Trina felt about diapers. I must be unique or something. Or maybe there is something special about a diaper over a pull-up. “I’m very glad to hear that, love,” Trina said sincerely and calmly.

“It really did work to make me feel more comfortable. Thanks, Trina,” Anna beamed.

“You are welcome,” Trina responded, “I’m going to the bathroom and then I will start breakfast. Is there anything special that you would like?” Trina was eager to cook breakfast for her guests.

“Homemade waffles!” Anna exclaimed.

Trina started dressing. “Great idea!” she matched Anna’s excitement.

“Wait aren’t you going to take your diaper off first?” Anna asked when she realized Trina was just putting pants on over her diaper.

“Its still dry so I’m going to keep it on for now. But you feel free to take off your pull-up and toss it in the trash. Its right there.” Trina pointed to a small receptacle in the corner of her room. “Oh and there are baby wipes in my top dresser drawer if you need.”

“But, wait, you’re just gonna keep wearing it? You’ve done so much for me already. You don’t need to,” Anna said confused.

“Its to show my support. Since you don’t have a choice in whether or not you pee in your pull-ups, then I don’t have a choice whether I pee in my diapers. I hope you can look at it like ‘we are in this together’ or something like that. Sorry to sound so corny but if you have to go through this then you don’t have to go through it alone anymore. I’ll be with you every step of the way,” Trina spoke from the heart.

Anna became very emotional at Trina’s speech. When she tried to speak nothing came out. She was too choked up.

When Trina saw this she approached Anna and put a hand on her shoulder. She gave Anna space to voice what she wanted to.

“Thanks. I’m just so happy that someone would be that nice to me,” Anna finally got out. Her voice was weak and choked up but Trina understood what she said.

Trina went to the bathroom and Anna went to the dresser. She opened the drawer and was surprised by Trina’s package of diapers. It was bigger than Anna expected. Much bigger than her package of pull-ups. She looked at the package for a few seconds and then grabbed the wipes. She removed her pajama pants and then removed her pull-up. She took out a wipe and thoroughly cleaned her pull-up area. She put on regular underpants and then put her pajama pants back on.

Even though Anna could function, she was still over-joyed to the point of being a little shaken up. Being so loved and cared for made her feel physically weak. Vulnerable. She felt a strong connection to Trina. Knowing that there was someone in the world that loved her that much gave Anna a warm feeling in her chest. She knew her mother, father and brother loved her but Anna focused on how much Trina had shown her love for Anna last night and this morning.

As Anna entered the bathroom, Trina was just finishing up.

“It’s all yours,” Trina beamed.

“Thanks, Trina,” Anna said.

“You’re very welcome,” Trina said. Trina felt her own connection to her cousin strengthen also. She put a hand on Anna’s shoulder, smiled and made eye contact as they passed.

Anna admired how confidently Trina walked while she wore a diaper. When I wear my pull-ups I am super insecure. Maybe I can try to take after Trina and be more confident no matter what I wear.

Trina entered the kitchen where she found Lorna sitting at the table and enjoying a cup of coffee.

“Good morning, Mother,” Trina said.

“Good morning, Trina,” Lorna smiled.

“The plan is working, mother,” Trina said delighted. “Anna is coming around. I just knew it would work. Thanks for helping.” Trina hugged her mother.

“You have the magic now, girl,” Lorna said smiling.

“Hehehe,” Trina laughed delighted.

Julie entered the kitchen.

“Good morning, Aunt Julie,” Trina beamed. “Can I get you some coffee?”

“Yes, please,” Julie said.

“Anna is coming around, Aunt Julie,” Trina said delighted to be sharing the news. “I mean I get why she was having a tough time but I just really needed her to know that it is no big deal to us. And I think she might even be seeing it as less of a big deal herself as well.”

“Oh, well thank you, Trina,” Julie said. “Honestly, I was running out of ideas to help her bounce back and I am so thankful for what you’ve accomplished in a much shorter time. Thanks for showing solidarity.”

Trina didn’t say anything. She smiled and let joy well up inside her from Julie’s encouraging comment.

A moment later Anna entered the kitchen.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Julie said, “how did you sleep?”

“Really well,” Anna smiled.

Julie was delighted to see Anna smile. “Did you have a nighttime accident last night?” Julie asked curiously.

“Yes, but my diaper did it’s job,” Anna responded confidently.

Julie was surprised to hear Anna refer to her protection as a diaper for the first time. She hoped it meant Anna felt more comfortable with the situation. “I’m glad to hear that the diaper did it’s job,” Julie said without any judgment.

Trina had been busy doing prep work for breakfast. She kept Lorna and Julie’s mugs full as she went along. She enjoyed how vulnerable she felt to wear a diaper in front of family. Even if they didn’t notice she was wearing one it let her feel the trust that she had for her loving family.

In the middle of making waffles Trina finally decided to let her bladder release. She was about to burst so it felt good to relax and just let it happen. A strong stream easily released into the padding of her diaper. She focused enough to enjoy every single second of the experience. She let herself fully experience the feelings she felt from peeing in her pants. She noticed how the physical sensation of hot liquid releasing into her underwear made her feel on an emotional level. Not wanting to draw attention she uncharacteristically suppressed her physical reaction. She wanted to vocalize her feelings but she kept silent.

Trina snapped back to reality and kept an eye on the waffle iron. When the first one was done she plated a waffle and some bacon and set it down in front of Anna. Trina smiled warmly at Anna. “Enjoy,” she said humbly.

“Thanks, Trina,” Anna smiled warmly back at Trina.

When everyone had been served breakfast Trina non-nonchalantly walked back to her room. She stepped inside and closed the door behind her. She removed her pants. She looked at her diaper once again. Since it was wet she noticed how the color and consistency had changed. She reluctantly untaped it. She removed it, balled it up and threw it in the trash. She cleaned herself off with a baby wipe. She lied down on her bed and collected her thoughts. She had just taken the greatest emotional ride of her life.

Wow…

Just… wow…

What’s going on with me? I want more. She yearned to touch herself. It required all of her will power to delay that experience for now. She knew it wasn’t time yet.

Trina got up from the bed and then dressed in daytime clothes. She thought about stealing a pull-up from Anna but immediately dismissed the idea due to her unwillingness to invade someone’s privacy. Maybe I could ask her for one to try.

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Loving this!

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Thanks a lot for your amazing comments.

Is there anything in particular that you love about it? Anything that you think I could improve?

Chapter Eleven

Thomas awoke before sunrise. He was the first to awaken so he was extra quiet. He brushed his teeth. He dressed warmly in blaze orange. He quietly exited the cabin. As soon as he shut the door behind him he breathed in deeply through his nostrils. He breathed in the scents of the forest. He peered into the dense brush to see what he could see. Rabbits, squirrels, or just trees if there weren’t any animals to look at.

Nathan awoke and started brewing coffee. One by one the other hunters roused. Nathan exited the cabin to find Thomas. “Want some coffee, son?” he asked.

“No thanks,” Thomas responded. The forest was stimulating enough.

Eventually, everyone was suited up and ready to head to morning post. They all filed out of the cabin to get instructions from Nathan. “Gerry, you’ll be with me. Ash and Jeremy, you two share the north stand. Thomas, will you be alright on your own?” he asked.

Thomas nodded confidently and humbly.

“Good, you take the rye field,” Nathan said. “Gerry and I will head all the way to the far North-East stand.”

Thomas walked quietly over the snow covered trails. He went in the opposite direction from the other hunters. He picked up his feet as he went along. It was a trick Nathan had taught him his first year out to be just a little quieter. He kept his eyes up and peered into the woods. He took in as much as he could. He looked for signs of deer: antler markings on trees, scat, fur that rubbed off on trees. He focused his hearing.

Every breath that Thomas took was euphoric. He inhaled the spirit of the forest and exhaled the gratitude he felt for the lush beauty all around him. As he walked he felt the consistency of the ground. My feet love it out here. Much better than walking the halls in school or on a sidewalk. I belong here.

Thomas arrived at his stand. He opened the bolt action of his rifle and then slung it over his shoulder, diagonally across his chest. He ascended the ladder carefully, maintaining three points of contact at all times. Since he was alone he paid extra close attention to safety. He wasn’t afraid, just focused.

He sat on a makeshift seat: an upside down five gallon pail. He loaded his rifle and then checked the safety to ensure that it was set to ‘on.’ He remained as silent as possible. He paid attention to his breath to make sure that he couldn’t hear it. He moved as little as possible. He relaxed and kept his heart rate low.

Thomas waited. Not patiently because patience didn’t enter into it. At school, at work; he patiently waiting to get back out to the woods. He wanted to live out here since it was his true home.

After Two hours an eight point buck walked out into the field that he overlooked. As soon as he saw it he reflexively toggled the safety on his rifle to ‘off.’ As quietly as he could, he raised his rifle. He aimed it in the direction of the deer. He lined it up in the cross-hairs. He watched the deer’s chest expand and contrast. He matched his breathing to the deer’s breathing. He breathed in. He breathed out. He squeezed the trigger. The deer startled and ran.

Thomas was now more focused than he had been all morning. He sat still for now and watched the deer’s every move. In his mind he marked where it entered the brush. He kept his eyes trained on the deer as it scrambled through the brush. When it went out of sight he watched every movement of the leaves and branches to get a fix on the deer’s trajectory.

When the leaves stopped moving Thomas toggled the safety on his rifle to ‘on.’ He unloaded the remaining rounds and kept the action open. He slung his rifle. He rose from his seated position and then descended the stand. With urgency he walked to the spot where he had marked the deer entering the brush. His keen eyes searched the ground. Each new blood splotch that he found he stuck a long stick vertically into the ground. That way he could look back and judge the trajectory of the beast’s last steps and have a heading.

Thomas heard footsteps approaching. He instinctively knew that it was Nathan and Gerry. Undoubtedly they had heard him fire his rifle.

“Thomas, did you get one?” Nathan called.

“Yeah, I got him,” Thomas said confidently.

“Nice job,” Nathan said proudly. “Do you need any help?”

“No, wait there. I want to do this on my own,” Thomas said.

“Okay, we’ll just play tiddlywinks or something,” Nathan joked.

Gerald laughed but Thomas was too focused to laugh. After a bit more searching Thomas found the beast lying on the ground breathless. He didn’t hesitate pull out his hunting knife to gut the deer. Although he had gutted deer in the past, this was the first time on his own with no help from Nathan. With good technique he quickly had the animal field-dressed.

He dragged it back out of the brush the way he walked in. Nathan and Gerald were eager to see Thomas’ kill.

“Shot it right here,” Thomas said smiling. He pointed to the entrance wound.

“Nice shot, Thomas!” Gerald exclaimed.

“That’ll put food on the table, eh boys?” Nathan said excitedly. He patted his sons firmly on their backs.

“Here, carry my gun dad. I’m gonna drag it back to camp,” Thomas said.

“Sure thing,” Nathan said.

Nathan slung a rifle on each shoulder. The three men walked back to camp. Thomas dragged the deer by it’s antlers.