This chapter is the last of the hard stuff. Origionally, I wasn’t going to include this part, but changed my mind. While it definately shows the worst that human beings are capable of, it also shows just how resilient the human spirit is.
The experience you will read about in this chapter is graphic and abominable, but I put it here because it’s at the core of Abby’s problems.
I apologize if this offends anyone, but this was taken from a history I read while doing pediatric clinicals in college. This happened.
When Charles carried Abby into the house, he went immediately to the room he had set up for her. Walking through the door, he sat down in the large rocking chair near the window and began gently rocking back and forth.
As Abby sat rocking, she nursed her binky looking around the room. A large crib stood against one wall with teddy bears on the head and foot boards. There were teddy bears everywhere. The changing table she saw even had teddy bears on the pad.
Charles was both surprised and worried when Abby didn’t object to the room. He knew she had made it clear on more than one occasion, that she wasn’t a baby. Her sudden complete comfort with the idea told him that what ever had caused her to scream at the office, terrified her more than the thought of being cared for as a baby.
Adela entered the room holding a baby bottle and held it out to Charles. She too saw that Abby was completely comfortable with what she saw around her, and it concerned her.
Charles took the bottle and shifted Abby so she was laying her face against his chest. Pulling her binky, he felt her flinch. She relaxed immediately when he offered the nipple of the bottle to her.
Abby took the nipple in her mouth and started nursing. When she tasted the warm milk, she nursed harder, enjoying the taste and the sensation. It wasn’t long before the bottle was almost empty, and her eyes were beginning to close.
Removing the bottle, Charles replaced it with her binky. He continued to rock her until she’d fallen completely asleep. When she didn’t stir after shifting her slightly, he picked her up and gently lay her in the crib. After covering her with a blanket, he kissed her gently on her cheek and whispered “Welcome home Baby Girl.”
He turned to Adela and asked “Can you please sit with her for a while?”
Adela, not wanting to leave Abby alone right now said “Absolutely. Let me go get my book.” and left the room. She was back in less than a minute, sat down in the rocker and began to read.
Charles made his way to his office. He checked his address book and made a call. “Hi Karen, it’s Charles. I really need a favor. Can you come by the house as soon as you can? I need your help.”
A short while later, Charles was escorting Dr. Karen Chase into his office. They spent some time talking about Abby and what had transpired. Once Karen had a clear picture, she made a call and asked a colleague to join her.
“I’ve called Dr. Greene in on this, he’s a Psychiatrist and can prescribe medication for her. I’m going to ask him to give her sodium pentathol to help her relax and allow me to hypnotize her. I want to take the next five days or so to see where she’s at.” Karen explained.
“Will the medication hurt her?” Charles asked with concern.
“No, absolutely not. It will just made her more suggestible, and that will allow me to induce hypnosis. By doing this, I can find out more without undue discomfort to her.” Karen answered. “I want Dr. Greene to do a physical exam. I also want a pelvic done. I suspect sexual abuse is in play here.” she added.
Dr. Greene arrived not long after. They talked about Abby’s history and decided that she should be sedated for the physical portion of the exam. That would be the last part, so Karen could start delving into the problems at hand.
“Understand Charles, I’m only going to try to find out what happened. It could take a long time to treat what we find.” Karen explained.
Charles answered “Please, I love her, just do what you can for now.”
Dr. Greene got on the phone and ordered medications delivered from the pharmacy. They waited until Abby woke before doing anything.
Abby opened her eyes and saw she was still in the room Daddy had left her. Looking up, she quickly saw he wasn’t there and said tearfully “Daddy?”
Adela was at her side in an instant, had the cribside down and picked her up and sat her on her lap in the rocker. “Daddy’s down stairs Baby, he’s talking to a doctor.” she reassured Abby.
That made Abby feel better. Nanny wouldn’t lie to her she knew. She snuggled closer to Nanny and nursed her binky. A couple of minutes later, Charles came into the nursery.
“Hi Baby.” he said as he entered. He saw Abby immediately put her arms up and he picked her up and held her close. “I want you to do something very important for me Baby.”
“What?” Abby asked fearfully. All of Daddy’s most recent requests weren’t good ones.
“It’s OK Sweety, Daddy just wants you to talk to a doctor for me. Can you do that Baby?” he asked.
Abby nodded her head and snuggled closer.
“That’s a good girl. I want you to know, that another doctor is going to need to give you a shot.” Charles told her. When he saw the tears, he said “I’ll hold your hand Baby, I promise. I know it will sting a little, but it won’t be terrible.” That calmed Abby down. Charles saw that Abby was comfortable in this room, so asked Adela “Can you bring them up here? She feels safe here. They’re in my office.”
A few moments later, the three of them came into the nursery. After introducing the doctors to Abby, Charles held her close when they gave her the shot. She fussed for a bit but settled down quickly to nursing her binky. He laid her down in her crib when the medication started to take effect. Turning to Karen, he said “I need to leave. I can’t make an objective decision if I watch this.”
“That might not be a bad idea Charles, this is probably not going to be pleasant.” Karen told him and turned back to Abby.
Both Charles and Adela left the room. They sat at the bottom of the stairs waiting for some indication that they were through. It was two hours later that Dr. Greene came down and asked Adela to go back up and sit with Abby while they talked with Charles.
Abby lay nursing her binky, sleeping soundly with her bear cuddled close when Adela entered. “We changed her diaper when we did the pelvic exam.” Karen told her.
“Thank you.” Adela said as she sat down in the rocker. “Did she do alright?” she asked Karen.
“She did fine. It will be easier for her the next time. I shouldn’t need to give her a shot then.” Karen explained.
“Thank you again.” Adela told Karen as she left the room.
Charles sat and listened to the results of the physical exam. "She's had some severe vaginal damage. It will most likely prevent her from ever bearing a child." Dr. Greene explained. "She told me there was an incident, she didn't give specifics." Charles offered. "That doesn't surprise me." Karen told him. "How long will the assessment take?" Charles asked her. "Probably four more days, if things go the way I hope they do." she answered. "Alright, then I would like you to wait until you have all of the information before you tell me." Charles explained. Karen looked at him curiously for a moment, then said "Alright, I can wait 'til then." The next day, Charles had a room converted to a play room, with a one way mirror installed. This allowed Karen to observe Abby playing with the toys, and interacting with Adela. Charles spent small amounts of time holding and caring for Abby. Adela spent the bulk of the time meeting her needs. Four days later, Charles sat waiting outside the playroom. He knew that Karen would have things to tell him. When Karen came through the door, he was startled to see her looking pale and shaken. "What is it? Or do I want to know?" Charles asked worriedly. Taking his arm in a firm grip, Karen said "Come with me." and led him into the observation room so they could talk without being heard. Looking down, Charles started with "Look, I…" and was immediately interrupted. Karen walked straight up to him, stood in his face and said "Quit running!" "Now listen…" Charles said evenly. "No Charles, you listen. You listen to some of the terrible things that little girl has gone through. I know you're scared to death that you've been as bad as they were!" she said heatedly. When she saw Charles flinch, she knew she was right on the money. "Trust me Charles, you can't hold a candle to those bastards! Believe it or not, by treating her like a child, you've given her the only fond memories she has associated with childhood." Karen explained. "Look at her Charles." She said. When he didn't, she yelled "Look at her!" Charles looked at Abby. He saw a happy toddler playing with leggo's "Any minute now, she going to make an excuse to make physical contact with Adela." Karen explained. As if on cue, Abby took what he was making and brought it to her Nanny, resting her arms on Adela's knees as she showed her. "This is typical behavior for a toddler, she's happy and enjoying herself. She has no idea that she just spent the last two hours telling me things that would turn your stomach." "I'm not going to insulate you Charles, you need to know." Karen said. "I don't know…" Charles began. "Listen!" Karen shouted. Taking a breath, she started. "Abby's parents were the first one's to abuse her. Her father used her as his own personal toy. When he decided he was done with her, he left. Her mother blamed her for losing her husband and eventually beat her so badly, she was hospitalized for six weeks. She was removed form the home and placed in foster care. The first home she had was wonderful. The woman was kind and caring. Abby learned to trust from this kind woman. Unfortunately, she had a heart attack a year later, and Abby was moved. Everything went downhill from there. There were several homes that slowly damaged this child. From beating her, to starving her to the point where she was eating from garbage cans. I will tell you honestly, I have never met a stronger or more adaptable person in my life." When she saw Charles wince at the mention of eating garbage, she said "Trust me, it gets better. When she was twelve, she broke into a house with three other teens. They were arrested and because Abby's foster parents didn't want her, they wanted the money, she was sent to juvenile hall. This is where they send kids that commit crimes. Usually it involves kids that commit multiple crimes, but in Abby's case, she was unlucky enough to be a ward of the state. From what I can gather without medical records, Abby's physical size then would have put her at a six or seven year old's stature. Unfortunately, her bladder hadn't matured enough for Abby to stay dry at night. When she got to the facility, the second night she was there, they diapered her, because that morning her bed was wet. From what I can piece together, the dorm supervisor quickly became tired of having to diaper a twelve year old, and had her moved out of the main area, into a room by herself. She constantly referred to Abby as a baby. I assume this was to discourage her wetting at night. When this didn't work, she decided to have two older girls, three times Abby's size "encourage her" to stay dry at night." Karen paused at this point. Charles saw tears forming. Karen said "Charles, they tortured that poor girl." and she began to cry. "The two girls would be woken up at four thirty in the morning to go to Abby's room. The first time they came, they entered quietly and one pinned her to the bed while the other removed her diaper. By then the diaper was well soaked." She told him and paused again for a longer time. "Charles," she started, cleared her throat and started again "Charles, they took the diaper and inverted it, put it to her mouth and told her to nurse on it like a baby. When she didn't, they started slapping her privates until she did. They made that poor girl suck her urine until the diaper was almost dry. At that point they slapped her five time on her privates and then put the diaper back on her. They told her that they would add one for every night she wet. This went on for fifteen days." Karen explained through her tears. "Please…" Charles said, tears freely flowing. "Listen!" Karen told him, demanding that he listen. She collected herself and then continued. "On the sixteenth night, things were different. Abby had entered puberty some time before being sent to the place. She described waking up with her hand in her diaper, I assume she was masturbating as all girls that age do. The two girls were standing watching her. They removed her diaper and put it in her mouth, but this time, one told her that there was "a better way to make herself feel good", while the other left the room. She came back with a wooden sink plunger handle, and inserted it into Abby's vagina. They made that poor girl grasp the handle and move it in and out of herself, slapping her if she didn't comply, or to make her move faster or harder. Not long after she started, the wooden handle must have lacerated her cervix, because she started to bleed. When the girls saw the blood, they left the room." Karen told him crying now. "Neither one of them took the time to tell Abby she could stop." Karen added through her tears. "That poor baby lay there for at least an hour nursing her own urine while she impaled herself with the dowel. She would have bled to death if a guard hadn't seen her and gotten her to a hospital." "Jesus!" Charles whispered as he stumbled backward and sat down hard on a chair. Crying now, he added "And I made her wear a diaper.", hating himself for it. "Don't Charles! What you've done will allow her to grow. It will allow me to essentially give her two sets of memories. She will automatically gravitate to the kinder one. She's been allowing herself to be tortured by men ever since. From her point of view, she had no value. It's no wonder Adela said she appeared to have no sense of danger. There is no danger if you don't value your life. Charles, quit running from her, she needs you to hold her and cuddle her now. She told me 'Daddy give her hugs but he isn't there'. Dammit Charles, you love her, show her!" Karen said. "I hurt her!" Charles screamed at her as he thought about her screaming at the office. "Maybe!" Karen screamed right back. "And you probably will again! But it doesn't hold a candle to what your love can do for her Charles. Hurts heal, but not without love!" she said and placed her hand on his shoulder and repeated "Not without love." Charles stood and looked at the little girl happily playing with the toys. Abby looked so happy. "What ever you do, don't tell her you'll leave her, no matter what she does Charles. If you do, you'll destroy her." Karen told him. Charles made his decision, turned and kissed Karen on the cheek. Leaving the room quickly, he entered the play room. When Abby saw him, he saw her eyes light up. Dropping to his knees, he hugged her close, telling her "I love you Baby Girl. I love you so much." Abby hugged him tightly and said "I wub you Daddy!" With a thick voice, Charles told her "I'm sorry I haven't come to play with you Baby. I promise, we will play every day." "It'th awight Daddy, I wath bad." Abby said trying to make Daddy feel better. Charles hated himself right at that moment. "No Baby, you weren't bad, you're a good girl." Adela said with a thick voice. "Nanny's right Baby, you're a good girl. It's Daddy that was bad." Charles said and hugged her tightly.