These three things happened within a year of Myles Bresen’s life: he had a near-breakdown, he claimed to have found his redemption and he declared war on the AB/DL community.
Myles was, of course, an AB himself for a time. He furtively wore diapers and sucked on a pacifier and dreamed up a mommy to love him. But when he finally parted ways with that most misunderstood of lifestyles, the rupture was as final as it was ugly.
It happened thusly: Myles, then a 20-year-old university student, received word from his roommate that the latter would be heading home for the weekend. Given that guarantee of privacy, he took it upon himself to diaper up on Friday night, knowing that he had the whole weekend ahead of him.
Unfortunately, “the whole weekend” proved to be little more than one night’s sleep. Absent-minded Tony left behind a book he needed to do a paper he told is mom he’d write while at home – a subtle payoff for her much-missed cooking. He returned Saturday morning to fetch the book and found it lying on his desk where he’d left it. He also found his roommate sleeping atop the covers wearing nothing but a diaper, plastic pants and slightly dingy socks.
“What the hell?” Tony said.
Myles stirred. His thumb lay dangling just beyond his lips and a night’s accumulation of drool had stained his pillowcase a deeper, darker blue. That was the first thing he noticed when his eyes opened. The second was Tony’s horrified stare.
The campus buzzed with gossip and innuendo.
Myles’ parents did not freak - they responded. There was a confrontation. There were harsh words. There was reluctant push into therapy. And there was a tearful pledge from Myles that he would never wear a diaper again. Parting for him was most certainly not sweet sorrow, but if the threat of excommunication from his family wasn’t incentive enough to force the separation, the potential loss of a sizeable future inheritance sure was.
All told, Myles’ redemption cost him the better part of a semester. It did little to derail him though, as he still finished on-time, summa cum laude. The therapy and the parental confrontation that he found so distasteful at first had molded him into a different person. He found focus he never knew he had. He stopped daydreaming and started living.
A curious byproduct of Myles’ newfound motivation was the contempt he now had for his former interests. Like any good apostate, he became firmly convinced he’d been led astray and corrupted. Diapers were to blame, he thought. Diapers were to blame for it all. They were why he was secretive and awkward with girls. They were why he had low self-esteem and a persecution complex. Most damning of all, they were why he was unhappy. How could he enjoy the life of a 20-something when he yearned for the simplified existence of a toddler?
And so began Myles’ war. He harbored no delusions of peaceful coexistence with the AB/DL community, not when it continued to ensnare people like him. Certainly, they weren’t all bad people. Some of the regulars on the forums he frequented offered their sympathies after he was busted. Nevertheless, they clung to bad habits and needed to be broken of them ASAP. In short, they needed to be redeemed.
His early efforts did not go over well. He changed is handle from “Breezy” to “TheRedeemer” and posted a long, rambling “resignation letter” from the lifestyle.
“I was able to turn my life around,” he wrote. “It’s not too late for you to do the same. Give it up now before it destroys you.”
The letter drew mixed reactions. Some were confused, a few were annoyed, others pitied him. No one predicted what would happen next.
A few days after posting the letter, Myles went on the attack. He started flame wars, he hijacked threads, he made veiled threats of outing and exposure. He was warned, berated and banned for his troubles, but he kept finding his way back.
“I WILL NEVER STOP!” he told his detractors.
“FUCK YOU, MYLES!” they told him right back.
Somewhere along the course of waging war, a strange thing happened to Myles: he acquired followers. By and large, they were the forums’ rejects – the sort that Myles, pre-conversion, would have been loath to associate with. They were the ones who wrote barely legible stories and demanded praise for their efforts, the type who posted blatantly false “true” accounts and authored such rhetorical gems as “hi will u change me” and “wut kind of diaper shud i get?” The forum regulars mocked and shunned them, but Myles pumped them full of praise. In turn, they became his acolytes and hastened to spread his message.
As time passed, Myles expanded his enterprise beyond the forum wars. He founded exdiapered.com and posted essays and testimonials. He expanded his repertoire to include pop psychology, scripture and stabs at humor. In time, his coalition grew to include religious zealots who supported his war as a moral crusade against perversion; the medically incontinent who felt smeared by their association with such “freaks” and mean-spirited Internet users with too much time on their hands. Myles valued them all.
His was a three-pronged approach. To the uncertain, he offered explanation; to the unhappy he offered pacification; to the unrepentant, he offered condemnation. Gradually, membership at the forums began to dwindle. A few of the boards were abandoned, a few more were shut down (he liked to think his diligent complaining to host sites had a lot to due with that). His greatest source of opposition, The Consortium, remained functional, albeit fractured. Given time, Myles was certain it could be broken.
“It’s simple, really,” Myles said in one of his many sardonic musings. “In order to win, I don’t need to convince Them of anything. They can hate me all they want. But as long as I am there to disrupt Their fantasy and remind them of who They REALLY are, I’ve already won.”[/size]