The Reality Game Show

Location: RSN (Reality Show Network) Headquarters. The main TV channel to see reality shows. And one of the head idea men was about to go to a meeting to come up with a new one. Or idea women, since the person in question here was female. Her name was Sally Tonch. The owners and executives of the channel favored her because of her twisted reality game show ideas that had always gotten a ton of ratings. She had always gone all out with these ideas, the executives never allowing them to get watered or dumbed down.
“Miss Tonch, we need that idea of yours right now if we’re going to fill that prominent empty slot. Prep needs to start soon.” said Mel, one of the executives that knew Sally the best.
“Well then, we’d all be in trouble if most of you didn’t like it.” replied Sally.
“Give us the basic hook.” said another executive.
“It’s going to be a show that involves a bunch of teens doing weird stuff.” she answered.
“Great. Something that will get us the teenage demographic. Something teens can laugh at and get into.” said Mel.
“What weird thing are these teens going to do specifically?” asked one of Sally’s fellow idea men, who was there to backup the idea.
“Well being a teen usually means you’re rapidly maturing, not letting anything slow you down, and making the most of your current state of being both wiser, while still being youthful.” Sally began to explain.
“If it’s any help, that is all true. What are you getting at?” said the other idea man in the room.
“What would really make teens tune in is to see other teens temporarily go through something that would completely counter the things I just stated. Something that teens are suppose to be too old for. Something that would slow them down socially and personally.” Sally continued. She’d really peaked everyone at the meeting’s interest.
“What something could possibly do all of that?” asked Mel.
“Diapers.” Sally simple said. That definitely made sense, but it still hit everyone there hard. People would certainly find that off putting and twisted. But hey, that was the same for most of their current shows. What worried the meeting members was the fact that it was more likely than not that people would see this as just negative, and disgusting, as well as mentally and morally wrong.
Sally just continued. “For like three months or so, we’ll put regular teenagers in diapers, 24/7, having them use them for all purposes. We’ll house them in a place with no bathrooms, and have them continue doing regular activities like going to a nearby school.”
“You got my vote.” replied Mel.
“I don’t know, we might not be able to find a regular teen to do this, no matter how much money and fame we promise them.” argued one of the idea men.
“Oh, you know how teens these days are. They’re always willing to try anything once.” argued Sally back.
“This might be a bit to far.” chimed in one of the executives.
“The diapers will be the only change, nothing else. And they will get to change themselves” Sally chimed back.
“Well, if we do things within reason with this idea, I guess it’ll have a chance. We’ll green-light it.” the executive said.

Sally, Mel, the other two idea men, and a few of the channel’s hired experts went to work developing it. Sally wanted the disposable diapers the contestants on the show to wear to be very diapery, for lack of a better description. Thicker than normal, absorbent enough for a teen, but still very noticeable when used, and only one taped, on each side of course. Mel agreed, not wanting to go through the trouble of using an existing brand. They also both agreed that the diaper should be blank. People might get the wrong idea if an image was put on it. Production of the diaper for the show began immediately. The channel was also able to find a nice mansion to house the teens for the agreed three months, as well as a nice high school nearby for them to attend. Scouts went out to find seven willing teens between the age of fourteen and seventeen, and their willing parents. Filming and execution commenced. The show aired right on schedule, called: “Diaper Teens”. Audiences (mostly teens) seemed interested by the ads for the show, most of them tuning in for a laugh and to see how the teens would cope with this bizarre situation.

Re: The Reality Game Show

hmm. This could be very interesting. I can see potential for it to go very well or pretty badly. Make sure you’ve got good teen characters with interesting personalities and character growth, along with a few plot twists and I’d say you’ve got me reading each update. The first chapter was written fairly well so I think you’ve got the potential. Good luck!

Re: The Reality Game Show

It’s not a bad start, but it could go anyway from this point.

First make sure to add a space between each paragraph. This will make it easier to read and it will make the audience less likely to give up in frustration after a few lines.

A few things that stuck out:

Some tense inconsistency (it should be “watered and dumbed down”, not “watered and dumb down”)

You added two "and"s in a list. Items should be separated by commas and only the last will have an “and”.

You once used “new” instead of “knew”.

You do not need to note that 13 year olds are too young and 18 is too old, this is implied when you gave us a 14-17 age range. As a general rule you should be careful with things in brackets, they almost never work in a story (they’re very situational) and they often only serve to break the flow and immersion for the reader. It’s almost always best to let the reader put two and two together. It’s better to have to edit in an explanation after everyone expresses confusion than to risk them thinking that you think they’re morons.

If I must question anything about the premise is that it’s too tame of an idea for a reality show given the possibilities. A show where everything’s normal except everyone wearing diapers is either too gimmicky or not gimmicky enough for reality TV (depending on the definition of gimmick). It’s either too gimmicky because the only thing different about it from other reality shows is that it has diapers. Or it’s not gimmicky enough because the only thing different about it from other reality shows is that it has diapers (as in it doesn’t use the most out of its baby-themed premise). I’d imagine reality TV producers would go the extra mile to give them the full baby treatment, the show is a risk either way so they may as well go for the highest risk:reward ratio. It can still work, I’d probably prefer the story to keep itself down to earth, but it’s overestimating the restraint of reality TV producers.

Overall it’s a start. It has a promising premise but it’s now up to the characters and story to make it good.

Re: The Reality Game Show

This was an interesting start. It does have potential. I will look forward to reading more.

The Reality Game Show First Update

The first episode, which would introduce the contestants and the ground rules, started with the show’s hired narrator stating the basic premise of the show in a “dramatic way” before showing the contestants. The first was a boy with brown Bieber-esque hair, wearing a hooded jacket with a stylistic design on it. Also stylistic was the editing during these intros, to keep the audience’s attention.
“Hi, my name is Nathan. I’m fifteen. I’m your average teen boy. I mean, I’ve got brown hair, every cool teenage boy these days has that,” is how he began, “I’m mainly into music. I know how to play the guitar, both electric and acoustic, as well as the piano fluently. I also right lyrics to my music,” then going on to talk about the show, “I joined this show for the fame. Gotta get my personality out there if I want to sell music someday. This seemed like a smart choice. I was potty trained at three. My mom says it wasn’t to difficult. I feel that using diapers again will be an interesting experience.”
The show then moved to the next participant. A short, nerdy looking girl, long brown hair, wearing prescription glasses and a bland violet colored hooded sweater.
“My name is Joslyn. I’m fourteen. I guess you could call me a nerd, by I wouldn’t call myself a stereotype. I’m into comic books, web shows, anime, video games. I joined the show to see what it would be like to be incontinent. That’s a medical condition that makes you lose control over your bladder and bowels for those of you who don’t know. Babies aren’t the only ones who need to wear diapers you know. I was potty trained at three. Mom says it was pretty easy. I feel that using diapers again will be very educational.”
Next up was another female. This time a goth girl! Complete with poofy purple died hair, black knee high boots with buckles all the way up them, a small, revealing purple dress, black lipstick and eyeliner.
“My name’s Gale. Sixteen. I’m goth, so don’t you dare judge me! I’m just into anything thoughtfully depressing. Happy entertainment won’t teach you anything worth learning. I’m usually calm, but I’m also a pretty apathetic person. I joined this reality show, because I’ve been kinda bored lately, and I wanted something weird to do. And I guess I do want some attention. I was potty trained at four. It was pretty hard, I guess because I’ve always been really rebellious. Wearing diapers again I think’ll be unpleasant, but a good kind of unpleasant.”
Another girl was up next. This time a blonde in high heels, a skirt and tank top.
“Hello! My name is Anna. I’m seventeen. I guess you could call me a blonde diva. I am very popular back home at my school. I mean, all the boys there are super into me. As for me, I’m into drama and acting. I’m participating in this reality show because my parents are hoping this will straighten out my attitude and behavior. I was potty trained at two. Was okay. Wearing diapers again will be totally disgusting, but if my parents are wanting me to do it, than I have no complaints, yet.”
Another boy was introduced next. A big, tough looking, Latino kid with black greased hair and a mean face.
“The name’s Allen. I’m fifteen. You could say I’m a bully, but I wouldn’t have to take it. I’m into fighting and action movies. I’m here as punishment by my folks for a number I did on a kid back home. I was potty trained at four. Yeah, it was difficult. I don’t like the idea of being stuck in diapers again, but would just the same like to get it over with.”
The next teen was definitely an emo boy. He had black hair with a jagged hair cut. He wore a nose ring and a single earring, and had holes in his jeans.
“I’m Devlin. I’m like, sixteen. I didn’t have the best of childhoods and I’m not having a very good teen-hood, if your wondering why I look so emo. I like all that depressing music and like writing stories like that too. I’m on this show to get my mind off of things, like, a change of scenery, as you might call it. Although I don’t know what’s so special about scenery. I was potty trained at three. Guess it was difficult, that’s what my mom said. I think wearing diapers again will be an adequate distraction from my current state of being.”
And last was another boy, looking like a real slob, wearing a geeky, partially torn green collared t-shirt with small white strips, and messed up hair.
“My name is Jack. I just turned fourteen. The kids at school call me a shy, sensitive, awkward loser, but they’re all really mean. My mom says I have severe Asperger’s. I like cartoons and movies and that’s it. I’m here because I think being on TV is cool. I was potty trained at age 2. My single mother was very persistent and controlling with it. I think being back in diapers will be sort of fun.”
And with that the narrator announced what was coming up next and the show went to a commercial break.

The Reality Game Show Second Update

When the show returned, the narrator chimed in. “You’ve now met the participants, now let’s go to the place they’ll be staying for the next three months. Walker Mansion, located outside Sacramento, California. The participants have arrived and are first to be informed of the ground rules before settling in to start the diaper challenge the next morning.” During the narration, a bus drove up to the front of the mansion, the seven teens getting out with suitcases in hand, and entering. In the big main foyer of the mansion, the teens came to the attention of the show’s primary supervisor, a twenty-something female.
“Hello, my name is Clara. I will be your supervisor. I will be monitoring and in charge of the diaper challenge. Before you unpack, let me lay down the rules of the challenge. Now this mansion you’ll all be staying at was just recently built, and we were able to stop the construction team before they installed any bathrooms, so you won’t have access to any. There is one that you can use for just tonight. As soon as you get up tomorrow, you will be given one of the teen sized diapers we have manufactured and video instruction on how to put one on and change yourselves. You’ll be spending the next three months wearing and using those diapers. And yes, it will be everywhere. Now we understand that you all may be fine with changing yourselves when it comes to number one. But in case you’re not up to changing yourselves for number two, the mansion’s servants will gladly change you instead. Plain white diaper bins are in each of your rooms and around the mansion. And it is suggested that when you need to use your diapers, that you not be hesitant. You may now go to your rooms and unpack.”
After unpacking, most of the teens did use the one bathroom in the mansion, that would be only accessible to the servants and supervisors after that night, before going to bed to wake up the next morning and start day one.

Re: The Reality Game Show

The introduction of the participants still has me thinking this could become a very interesting story. I will be looking forward to more.

Re: The Reality Game Show

It does have potential, now that the introduction is out of the way it can have its chance to shine.

Please put a blank space between the paragraphs. I can’t stress how important that is enough.

Keep it up.

The Reality Game Show Third Update

Once each contestant was woken up for school, one of the servants handed each of them one of the teen sized disposable diapers and an ipad that had a video ready on it to show them how to put it on. It served all of them well, each of them getting their diapers on snug and securely. They had no time to really get use to the feeling of wearing it because they had to get their clothes on for school. Nathan, Allen, Joslyn (who usually wore and much preferred them), Devlin, and Jack, were each able to find some loose fitting jeans to put on over the diaper. Anna found a jean miniskirt that barely went down low enough to hide the diaper. She was very relieved when she found that out, and commenced putting on her high heels and everyday tank top. Gale however wasn’t so lucky. Her super-miniskirt, which she had on with all her other accessories, didn’t so much cover the diaper as uselessly drape over the diaper leaving it virtually completely exposed. Gale decided to apathetically leave her dress be. She didn’t care if everyone saw. She’d already be known nationwide as one of the teenage girl participants on the diaper show. And she wasn’t one to care about judgements. She probably wouldn’t get in trouble for her dress, as it was at least an attempt to hide her unusual garment.

After some much needed breakfast, all the teens were ready for school and boarded the bus that then took them there right on time. Previous to getting to the mansion, each of the students where given the needed information about the school, the classes they would be attending, the schedule, a map. A backpack with school supplies was put in their rooms and each made sure to grab it before leaving. Since the show was put together during the summer, this was the first day of school for all the teens there, to add a bit of realism. Once off the bus, the teens got to have some time to get use to and adjust to the extra bulkiness between their legs. Some went off to the school bathroom to be alone so they could pull down their pants and examine the diaper more closely. The camera focused on Joslyn and Nathan for this.

In one of the stalls, Joslyn had pulled down her pants and both she and the camera were looking at the diaper. The female holding the camera asked her, “What do you think?”. “They’re really soft, and the padding is very present. I do feel a lot more shame looking at these now.” And with that she slipped back up and zipped her khakis, got out of the stall and checked her diaper area to make sure it wasn’t to obvious.

Nathan, by a male holding the camera, was also asked in one of the stalls, “How does it feel?”. “Snug, but roomy. It definitely has a presence down there. I probably won’t be able to keep my mind off of it.”

It took some doing, but each of them managed to walk semi-regularly in them and continue on with the school day. Devlin and Anna were the two being focused on during this.

“I can hardly put my knees together,” whined Anna, “It’s forcing me to walk with my legs a tiny bit farther apart, which is annoying me!”
Devlin wasn’t faring much better. “It’s really hot in there, and my crotch is scrunched.”

Nothing really eventful happened during most of school. Joslyn did go to sign up for try-outs with the cheerleading team. “To keep my exercise up.”, is the way she put it. From the start of the school day, Gale got a colorful reception, a lot of stares, whispers, snickers, and disgusted or shocked faces, but she didn’t mind. When at break, she was usually sitting down listening to her ipod, her legs strewn for comfort, exposing even more of her diaper, mostly the underside and back. Nobody complained to her thankful. Jack had somehow been able to evade the cameras most of the time.

It was towards the end of school that the good stuff happened. It started with Joslyn, who suddenly walked up to the cameraman who was following her at the time and said, “I have to go both,” trying to stifle an embarrassed laugh, “I like to eat a good breakfast.” That’s when the narrator announced something new. A information card in the bottom left hand corner of the screen that would keep track of which teen had to go which. Anna also showed obvious sighs that she had to pee, bad. It was on her way to the final class, around the same time as Joslyn’s urge started. Anna started walking slower and more carefully. A fist, and then a flat hand was put around her bladder and crotch interchangeably. Soon it turned into very timid walking. She was able to desperately grunt to the camera “I gotta piss! I really super gotta piss!”

Back over with Joslyn, who’s card still stated she had to go pee and poop, she said another thing to the camera. "Now, if I were really incontinent, right now would probably be the time my bladder and bowel would release uncontrollable, so I’m no going to wait around like my other compatriots are probably doing. With that, she stepped back from the camera to one of the schools hallways were other teens were still trying to get the the last class of the day, and took a few seconds to get a comfortable stance, before tiny, fast paced breaths could be heard from her, and then some low grunting sounds. This lasted for about a minute and fifty seconds, when she regained a normal posture, and continued walking, although a little awkwardly, stopping every ten or so steps to pull up and adjust her pants and her diaper underneath.

Back with Anna, who wasn’t even walking anymore. She was try to look as normal and diva-ish as she could with a bursting bladder. Her self confidence she held so dear back home as the schools drama queen was collapsing, as she cautiously put weight on one leg, and then the other. Finally she knew in her head the only option was to wet her diaper in order to continue an outward appearance. She went still, and a huge sigh could be heard from her. It took about the same amount of time for her to finish as it did Joslyn, and then she carefully strutted down the hall, her high heals clicking, barely keeping enough confidence to do so and not let shame overtake her.

The camera followed Joslyn as she got to her last class, with meant that she would have to sit. After an unsure “here goes nothing” smile to the camera, she slowly seated herself at the class desk she picked, sliding around a tiny bit too. Anna only had a soaked diaper, which she reminded the camera of by whispering, “It’s soooo sagging and gel-like and wet.” then doing a pat down on the area to make sure of no wet spots or leakage. It luckily didn’t leak, even after sitting in the final class, which she commented made it feel even wetter.

When school ended, the teens hung out waiting for the bus. Joslyn and Anna thought of change there at the school, but decided it would be safer at the mansion. Gale, who was still being talked about behind her back, was sitting on the curb, listening to music again, her legs spread out so the diaper’s under was again clearly visible. This is when she calmly noticed her dire need to pee. She signaled the camera to this by first looking down, giving a thumbs up, then returning to getting lost in her music as yellow completely spread around the diaper, finally stopping a minute after. She gave the now drenched diaper a small feel, also shifting it on her some, then quickly going back to the song.

All the girls needed a change, but what about the boys? Allen and Devlin that morning didn’t eat or drink that much, probably wanting to postpone what it would cause. Nathan, however, did have a few mountain dew kickstarters, and he did look about now like he needed to urinate. He eventually got closer to the camera and spread his legs apart, seconds later letting out a small sigh, then being stealth, felt around.

With all three girls and one boy in need of diaper changes the bus arrived to take them back to the mansion.

Re: The Reality Game Show

Not bad, it’s getting better. You haven’t lost me yet.

Some things I should note are your uses of the "there"s and "to"s:

“There” is for places (“over there”) or the cases like “there has to be another way” (indicating the other way exists by comparing it to a place that can be found), generally if it’s not “they’re” or “their” it must be “there”.

“They’re” is for “they are”, if you cannot substitute it with “they are” then it’s not right to use “they’re”.

“Their” is possessive (“their books”, “it’s theirs”).

“Two” is the number (obviously but I want to get this out of the way for completion).

“Too” is for inclusion (“me too”, “he wanted to go too”, etc.) and emphasis (I think that’s the right way to describe it) (“It’s too much”, “too little, too late”).

“To” is basically for anytime when the other "to"s aren’t needed.

Re: The Reality Game Show

Getting a little deeper into it now. I would have thought it would be harder on them to be placed in such a situation. On the other hand, they did volunteer to participate.

Looking forward to more.

Re: The Reality Game Show

Couldn’t pay too much attention to spelling because I wrote it in a hurry. Again, time limit on the library computers. I’ll just correct the mistakes.

The Reality Game Show Fourth Update

Each teen took a seat on the bus, Joslyn politely sitting in the back, Anna and a cameraman following her until Anna came up in front of Joslyn.
“Hey, I heard from Devlin that you wet and messed yourself. Can I sit with you? It would make me more comfortable to sit next to someone who also had to use a diaper.” asked Anna.
“Sure,” replied Joslyn, “Did you wet it or…?”
“Just wet it, but a lot, I held it for quiet awhile.” Anna replied back as she seated herself.
“That goes for me too.” said Nathan, sitting next to the two girls also.
Gale sat in the back too, but across from the three, her sagging diaper making more noise since it was so exposed. Anna and Nathan winced and quickly looked away.
“Was it that bad? I’m going to have to do it soon too.” inquired Anna to Joslyn.
“Just get it through your head that it won’t go anywhere else other that your diaper, and you’ll survive.” confirmed Joslyn. Anna nodded.

The bus got to the mansion and the teens dismounted, the show’s announcer commented that no homework was given for the first day of school, so the teens would have all the time they needed to settle down and adjust to relieving themselves in diapers. Once inside, the four went straight to where they’d been told they could get their diapers changed.

(Sorry it’s so short, still have to use the library computers)