The Mystery of Disposition

I’m writing this story over on adisc and one of the members there suggested I should post the story here as well. I want to first state that I am aware of some minor spelling/grammatical errors throughout the story so far, but as editing old posts on their forums are disabled, I don’t want to fix everything here and have it wrong there, so I think I’ll wait and do a final pass to correct anything I missed when I complete the story. For now, consider this a work in progress, but please feel free to critique anything other than the minor errors I am referring to. I will try and post my new chapters from now on here as well as on adisc.

Chapter 1
There’s no telling why people are the way they are. Oftentimes parents feel this about
their own children whom, despite sharing genes, often seem to be a mystery. And children,
while generally loving and admiring their parents, oftentimes swear to never be like
them as they mature into adults themselves.

A perfect example of this mystery was playing out in the spring of 2001 on the back
porch of a modest home in rural North Carolina.

“Mom, why can’t I go to the other camp I’ve been asking about since last year?” Amy’s
eyes looked pleadingly into her mother’s, who stared back into those of her 16-year old
with equal intensity.

“You’re hardly sure of why you want to go to that stupid Spike camp other than seeing
some cute boy on the front of a brochure. You do realize it’s a girl’s volleyball camp
and the cover is probably just some marketing ploy to make you think it’s crawling with
hunks and lure in girls like you? He’s probably just a coach or something.” She hoped
perhaps she was speaking some sense to her naive daughter, but the look on Amy’s face
was pure defiance.

“You think I don’t know that, mother?” The title match had begun.

“Watch your tone with me, child!” It was always like this and Meredith knew she had to
get the situation calmed quickly before the inevitable screaming match began.
In years past, mother and daughter were close, one might say almost idyllic in their
relationship. Little Amy adored her mother and wanted to be just like her when she
grew up. However, as the little girl became a middle schooler, and soon after a high
schooler, she found the admiration faded and was partially replaced with disdain for
what she saw as a myriad of pointless rules with little explanation. For her mother’s
part, Meredith was raised to meet every challenge from ones offspring with measured
discipline and never was an explanation warranted. Parents had no need to explain
themselves to their children and doing so only gave credence to the home being some
sort of quasi-democratic microcosm of the mess found only in Washington DC.

Having her husband in the military only reinforced Meredith’s resolve to ensure she
provided sufficient stability and discipline to her child. However, she found Amy to
be far more loving and compliant when David was home, making her wonder what magic he
possessed to impart order and love together with such harmony in a way she couldn’t
seem to emulate.

“Amy, would you talk with your father this way if he were standing here? You know he
supported me in the decision to send you to the university camp.” Frustration still
emanated from her daughter, but mentioning her father always at least made her think
momentarily on what her mother was saying.

“Mom, look, I’m…” she sighed. “Just, please quit trying to make every decision for
me. Don’t you realize I’m 16 now? Why did you have to go looking for camps after I
already told you about where I wanted to go? Can’t you just let me make this one
decision for myself?” The teen hoped maybe her mother would finally see her as an
adult, perhaps one of the most desperate wishes she held with regard to her parents.

“Amy, do you think I wouldn’t at least look into this camp of yours? I did, but aside
from being much closer, the university camp has been around much longer, is highly
recommended, and several of your friends are going from what I hear.”

“Mom! That’s just it, I’m sick of the ‘friends’ around here. Everyone’s so fake and
there’s no one I care to be real friends with. You forget what it’s like because you
have dad and you have your church friends. After Molly moved away last year I pretty
much realized I was done with everyone else and it wasn’t worth trying to be fake for
them.” Sighing in frustration she got up to go back inside.

“Honey, stop.” Meredith was debating on taking a harsher tone, but knowing Molly was a
sensitive subject, she took on an uncharacteristically empathetic tone trying to love her
daughter as best she could. “Amy please, sit back down.”

“Why mom? You know it’s true. What else is there to say?” Rolling her eyes and
flopping back onto the cushioned wicker chair, the girl resigned herself to yet more
pointless conversation that wouldn’t get her what she wanted.

Meredith considered going back on her decision, but she felt like she knew what was
best for her daughter and the camp she’d picked out was certainly a solid program that
would improve Amy’s volleyball skills. After a few moments, she realized another

“Alright Amy, here’s what I’ll do. The university camp is in mid July and Spike comes
two weeks later in August. I’ll sign you up to both and if you don’t feel you’ve
gotten all the volleyball training you can handle for one summer, I’ll admit I was
wrong and pay for you to also attend Spike camp two weeks later. However, if you see
that I was right, you’ll owe me the $50 lost registration fee out of your babysitting

A smile began to curl from one side of Amy’s mouth. She’d gotten her mother to budge!
“Mom, that’s fair. Thanks, as long as you’re ok with spending the money on both. Are
you sure dad’s ok with it?” Amy was treading a fine line between showing all of her
excitement and trying to be cool about it so she didn’t make her mother question her
change of heart.

“Well, he told me to make the decision on this one, so you don’t need to worry about
that sweetheart. Your dad has too many things to be concerned with running everything
by him.”

A look of slight frustration appeared on Amy’s face, but she muted the frustration in
her response. “Oh, I guess when you said he agreed with you earlier I thought he picked
the university too.” She hoped that wasn’t too accusatory.

“Honey, he told me to make the decision. That means he agrees with whatever I decide,
right?” Meredith knew her original statement was a bit deceptive, and she mentally
chided herself for it.

“Yeah, I guess.” Amy was too excited about the prospect of going to her preferred camp,
that she didn’t much care about her mother’s questionable statement.

“Alright, well I’ll take care of the paperwork and you just focus on finishing out the
school year with good grades so you don’t need to go to summer school instead.” She
winked knowingly at her daughter, as they both knew that wasn’t a real possibility.
Amy just rolled her eyes in a playful manner and went back into the house.

The rest of the school year seemed to pass slowly as Amy was eagerly anticipating the
summer full of fun ahead of her. In addition to two camp experiences, she had several
babysitting jobs lined up and that meant money for a car. Her dad had made a deal with
her on her 13th birthday that when she’d saved up half the money for the car she
wanted, he’d supply the other half. Last summer, she’d already saved enough for a used
Chevy Cavalier, but she had her sights set on a new Pontiac Sunfire GT. This was of
course after she was told she had to pick from GM cars considering her uncle’s status
as a senior executive provided the family with heavy discounts. Another $1700 and
she’d have her car!

As the final weeks of the semester trickled by, most of her days brought little in the
way of excitement. She settled into a routine of school, chores, the occasional
hangout with someone she could tolerate from her church, and of course the normal
homework of a high school junior. That is, until one Sunday morning in mid-May when
her mother came in to wake her up for church…


Re: The Mystery of Disposition

Chapter 2

It had started shortly after her 10th birthday. Something that first began as a curiosity had became a thrill of naughtiness in Amy’s imagination, if she could only manage to get away with it. Amy’s 8-year-old cousin Rachel had stayed the night after Amy’s birthday party and wet the bed. Over the next few evenings Amy couldn’t shake the thoughts from her head wondering what wetting the bed would feel like and what would happen when her mother found out. Having been daytime trained shortly before her 2nd birthday and wetting the bed only occasionally into preschool, she couldn’t remember much of those days. However, Rachel’s incident brought back faint memories she’d long forgotten and she wanted to experience those feelings again. But more importantly, Amy was always looking for ways to get one over on Meredith, and she couldn’t think of a better way than to frustrate her mother with something she seemingly couldn’t control.

Finally one night, Amy mustered up the nerve to have a small wetting just to test the waters and see if she could stand to do such a thing to herself. She made sure she didn’t use the toilet before bed and then laid in bed for a while waiting for a feeling that she had to go. Much to her dismay the next morning, she realized she’d fallen asleep waiting to spring her plan into action. It took several more nights before she finally felt the need to go. Wetting herself was far more difficult than she imagined, but soon she was able to produce enough liquid to provide an annoyance to her mother the following morning.

What she hadn’t anticipated was the fact that only releasing a portion of her bladder had resulted in the remainder providing a throbbing reminder and discomfort to the point that she couldn’t get back to sleep. An hour later and sporting soggy, cold pajamas, Amy knew what she had to do. Slowly making her way to her parents’ room, she mustered up the most depressing and worrying thoughts she could so that by the time she was tapping her mother’s shoulder, tears had begun to form and slowly run down the manipulating girl’s face.

“Mom!” she whispered, hoping she wouldn’t also wake her father.

A few seconds became a full minute and several tries later her mother finally stirred.

“Amy…what, what do you need?” Meredith yawned, searching the girl’s face for the reason she found herself awake in the middle of the night. She found the tears, then slowly scanned down until she saw the slightly darker spot on Amy’s midsection. A look of mild displeasure spread across her face.

“Amy, you didn’t…did you?”

“Mom, I’m…” mustering up every tear she could, Amy produced a convincing, yet hushed, series of sobs. “I’m sorry, please-please-please forgive me…”

“Alright honey, it’s not your fault, let’s go get this cleaned up.” Her mother proceeded to handle the bed and send Amy to the shower for a cleanup. Nothing else was said about the incident and Amy was too afraid to try again after things hadn’t worked out like she’d imagined.

A few weeks later, Amy sat on her bed thinking about her last attempt at wetting the bed. She realized then that her plan hadn’t been the horrible failure she had first thought it to be, as her mother had still witnessed her deed and didn’t think anything of it beyond the occasional fluke of a child having an accident. And yet, she hadn’t felt what she thought she’d feel: pleasure of getting away with something and the feeling of waking up to a wet bed. She realized her problem had been wetting and then being unable to sleep through the night to fully experience the wet bed and make her mother discover it herself in the morning. That would certainly make her feel naughty the way she wanted to and hopefully give her the thrill of getting away with it.

That night, she went to bed with her Little Mermaid watch and set the alarm for 4am before placing the watch under her pillow and falling asleep as usual. When she heard the faint sound of the alarm, she silenced it and proceeded to wet herself, this time realizing she shouldn’t hold back. She felt the bed warming beneath her midsection, then slowly work its way down her thighs and simultaneously up towards her chest before she finally felt herself finish peeing. It was quite the feeling to have half her body covered in wetness while still laying in her bed, but the warm, wet feeling was not repulsive as she’d worried, but oddly enjoyable. She squished from side to side slightly before finding a comfortable position a midst her newly created puddle, and finally the naughty girl fell asleep.

She awoke a few hours later to find herself in the midst of a clammy, cold crater instead of her usually comfortable cocoon of sheets and blankets. This feeling was definitely not enjoyable and removing her covers exposed her to the cool morning air which was even less inviting to the sopping wet girl. Contemplating her options, she settled on the option that meant her mother had to fix the problem. Considering her miserable state, it didn’t take long for genuine tears to start flowing. First a few, then she worked herself up into a genuine cry.

It didn’t take long for her mother to come up the stairs to find out what might cause her 10-year-old daughter start crying first thing in the morning. Meredith worked through the possibilities in her head as she ascended the stairs. She assumed a nightmare or perhaps some pre-puberty hormones starting to kick in. However, nothing in her imagination prepared her for what she would find. Opening the door, she saw her near-teenage daughter, gathering sheets and blankets around her, bawling her eyes out and trying to tell her something, but she couldn’t make it out.

“Honey, calm down…I can’t understand you. Tell me what’s wrong, are you hurt? Did you have a bad dream?”

“Mom…I can’t…I…” Amy’s sobs continued.

Meredith didn’t have the patience to deal with slowly pulling details from her emotional daughter. As she moved to sit on the bed, her eyes widened as she noticed the faint outline of wetness on the exposed portion of the sheets covering the mattress.

“Amy, again? What’s gotten into you, this is the second time this month! Are you feeling ok?” Torn between wanting to take control of the situation and helping her daughter feel better, she settled on the former, her default. “I want you to get cleaned up and stop that crying. It’s pee, you’ll be fine Amy, there’s no need to get upset.”

Her crying had mostly subsided, but the girl still looked miserable. Eyes swollen and hair a mess, she started to say something, but slowly removed the covers and stepped onto the floor, shivering as she walked to the shower. Slowly, Amy realized the tears had not fixed everything as she was still shivering and miserable. Showering was a time to reflect on the fact that most of the time when she tried to get one over on her mother it ended up backfiring. Still, she had completely enjoyed the thrill of doing something naughty the previous night and there was something oddly appealing about realizing her mother still didn’t suspect this was anything other than an accident. Her shower finished, she came back to her room to find her bed neatly made and even the rest of her room looked a little cleaner. It pleased her that she had exerted some form of control and manipulation to the situation, and it seemed to at some level make up for all the times her mother made her clean her room, do chores around the house, or obey some other stupid rule she didn’t understand.

Over the next few of years into her early teen years, she’d “punish” her mother by having a bedwetting episode when she felt particularly frustrated or angry about something where her mother was, in Amy’s view, being ridiculous or unfair. After the first few times, she’d gotten past the discomfort of waking up to a wet bed and learned to delay obeying her mother to go clean up as long as possible before the inevitable yelling began. Several times, Amy’s mother chided her daughter after a wet morning for being lazy to not use the toilet before bed and pointed to how ruined her mattress would be if she hadn’t always kept plastic sheets on all the beds in the house to protect them from spills of various kinds. Meredith even threatened her daughter with wearing Goodnites if she kept up her wetting, but the episodes were always weeks or months apart, so she never made good on her threats.

Amy was 14 the last time she had punished her mother with a bedwetting episode. It wasn’t that she hadn’t thought about doing it since then, but ultimately because she was too embarrassed to pee herself as a high-schooler and risk someone finding out about it. She already knew that her mother had shared the occasional bedwetting with several close family friends, and the fact that such information could potentially be leaked to her peers was unimaginable.

Now at 16, her mother had recently mentioned that she was glad the bedwetting seemed to be in the past. And though Amy still felt like her mother was a constant source of conflict and competition, she was starting to feel the beginnings of respect for her mother and she thought perhaps her mother had started to ever so slightly relax her disciplinarian grip upon her and start to view her as approaching womanhood. The recent concession about the volleyball camp seemed to be one of the few indications of that possibility and Amy was excited about the prospect of soon leaving her childhood, its rules, and overbearing oppression behind.

That all was up for debate again one Sunday morning in mid-May as her mother came to wake her up for church. It was obvious to Meredith that her daughter had wet the bed. As she was momentarily debating her response, Amy stirred, being aware of her mother standing beside her bed. As the girl sat up, her expression quickly changed to one of confusion, then of panic, and finally an all-out emotional breakdown.

“Amy, this is ridiculous. At your age, girls shouldn’t be peeing themselves!” Meredith couldn’t help herself, this was just too much.

Unfortunately, it was also too much for Amy. She hadn’t set an alarm to wet the bed. She’d had no intention of punishing her mother, and in fact she couldn’t think back to a time in recent memory when the two of them had been on such good terms. This was truly an accident and the first since she was a little girl in preschool. That realization caused a similar reaction in Amy to that first morning when she’d experienced a cold, wet, and miserable bed. Only this time, she was experiencing the misery of what she had been lying about actually becoming reality. Her body had betrayed her, or perhaps this was punishment for what she had done to her mother for all of those years. All of these thoughts were swimming in Amy’s mind as she sobbed uncontrollably and as her mother continued to spout random words of frustration and confusion.

“Answer me Amy, dammit, did you pee before you went to bed last night like I tell you to do?” Meredith stared intently demanding an answer.

Amy’s mind was swimming and came around for a lap back to reality in time to quickly answer her mother’s question. “No, I forgot…I’m so sorry mom. I…I don’t know why this is happening to me again, it’s been almost two years…” The soft sobs continued.

“Well I was fed up with it then, and I’m even more fed up with it now. You’re too old for this and I’m not washing more sheets. Starting tonight, you’ll be wearing Goodnites to bed and I will ask you every night before bed if you have peed in the toilet like a big girl so you don’t have an accident. I can’t believe I have to do this with my 16-year-old daughter, but it’s clear you haven’t grown up yet.”

Whack. Amy felt the smack of her mother’s words full in the face as her tears dried up and her cries turned inwardly to panic. She couldn’t wear pull-ups like some 4-year-old who couldn’t quite make it to the potty, could she? What was she going to do? No would could know about this and certainly her mother wouldn’t say anything would she? Could she do that to her after the budding relationship of mother and daughter had finally started to form?

“Mom, please…I won’t have another accident, I promise!” she desperately wanted her mother to reconsider.

“Amy, do you remember the last time? You hadn’t wet since you were in kindergarten, and then all of the sudden you started up when you were 10. I can’t handle the sheets thing again and this is my best solution. If you’re worried that someone will find out, then you should be doing better about using the toilet before bed instead of being lazy.” Seeing a look of sheer hopelessness on her daughter’s face, Meredith pondered a way to give her daughter some shred of hope. “Honey, if you can go 6-months without an accident then we can try going without the Goodnites again.”

“Mom! That’s a long way off. What about sleepovers? What about…” the reality hit her as she shrieked…. “WHAT ABOUT CAMP?!”

Re: The Mystery of Disposition

Chapter 3

If there was ever a time for panic, Amy thought this surely was it. Her wetting to this point had always been a relatively contained experience, limited to the knowledge of close family and friends, and further limited in its intent since she knew the incidents were of her own doing. Now, she was faced with the possibility that, for the first time since she was a little girl, a real accident had occurred. Never able to share the real reason for her previous misdeeds, she resigned herself to focusing very hard on never having another accident and possibly coming to her mother before camp to beg for reprieve from the padded prison she was fated to endure, should her mother’s decree go unrecinded.

Over the next several weeks, she wore a Goodnite to bed each night never waking to an accident and each morning being sure to announce this fact to her mother. Meredith, despite praising her daughter, always seemed skeptical that the wetting episodes were gone for good and she knew her lack of excitement was probably obvious to Amy. Her mother’s lack of faith in her made Amy all the more wish that Meredith would realize that this was actually Amy’s first accident in 12 years, but she knew there was no way to share that important detail with her mother.

However, as fate would have it, a certain Saturday morning in early June had been preceded by a Friday evening when Amy had been up late with friends watching an exciting movie and drinking lots of soda with yummy, salty snacks. She’d barely remembered falling asleep, but the morning after was far more memorable.

“Amy honey, you need to get out of bed, it’s almost 11am.” Her mother seemed pleasant enough, but obviously sleeping much longer into the morning was unacceptable to Meredith and she was kindly reminding her daughter of that fact.

Stirring from her sleep, Amy acknowledged her mother with a few morning noises, but staying up past 2am the night before had certainly made the girl cherish her morning sleep and she found herself very reluctant to give in and immediately wake to her mother’s beckon. She rolled over and propped herself up on a pillow facing her mom.

“If you think shifting to a different position and giving me those cute looks will make me want to let you sleep in, you clearly don’t know your mother very well young lady.” She tried to hide a slight grin, as she did find her daughter cute, but Meredith always felt the need to maintain a firmness in their relationship that would not give room for manipulation or disrespect.

Amy’s cute expression ever so slowly faded as her mind was gradually waking and becoming more and more aware of her surroundings, shifting from a purely conceptual awareness to once again a balanced sensation of mind and body. She had a growing realization that her nether regions felt slightly different than usual, though the reality of what that might mean was not clear to her as of yet. Still, some part of her was starting to feel uneasy and she became more anxious to have her mother leave so she could get out of bed and not be self conscious of her pull up. Her pull up! Her brain was suddenly awake and she realized the mystery feeling was likely wetness from an accident. She suddenly became aware that in her waking up phase her mother had been asking her a question, and now her brain was finally catching her up on what she’d been missing. “How is your Goodnite honey?” was the last thing her mother had said and by the look on Meredith’s face, Amy could tell her mother was expecting an answer before she would leave the room. Panic started to increase, and Amy was sure her face had begun to give away her growing state of alarm.

“Amy, I know you’re still waking up, but it’s a simple question. Are you dry, yes or no?” Meredith saw her daughter was uneasy and she suspected that either her daughter was simply bothered by the whole subject or she had indeed had an accident. Either way, she wanted an answer and she really didn’t care much for delay.

“Mom, can I please have some privacy or something so I can get dressed? I’m sorry I slept in, but I’m up now, thanks for waking me.” The formality of those words betrayed the underlying problem.

“Amy, I’d be happy to let you get dressed, but you didn’t answer my question. Wet or dry?” Meredith stared at her daughter for a few more seconds before she moved her hand to the nearest corner of the covers and began to move them away from her daughter. Predictably, Amy yanked the covers back to herself and clearly displayed a look of mixed shock and guilt to her mother.

“I don’t know, ok mom? I don’t…just…leave me alone so I can get dressed.” Frustrated and unsure of anything at the moment, Amy’s tears started coming and she balled up the covers in front of her and held them tightly, quietly shedding tears into the bed sheets.

Meredith wasn’t a heartless mother. She scooted over towards her daughter and pulled the girl into a gentle hug. She whispered affectionate and kind words into her ear and rubbed her back for a few moments before reaching her hand down and feeling her daughter’s undergarment.

“Honey, did you really not know you’d wet last night? You’re soaked and I think we should check to be sure you didn’t leak.” She released Amy from the hug and pulled back the sheets, checking for any wet spots. “Looks good, thankfully those seem to work fine for you.”

“Yeah, I guess they do. I really wasn’t sure but I thought maybe…I was wet. I’m so sorry mom, I didn’t mean to do it.” Amy had stopped her crying, but her whole attitude was downtrodden and resigned to her own failure.

“Honestly Amy, I’m sorry I didn’t get these for you a long time ago. This is so much easier than wet sheets and blankets and your clothes. You can just take that Goodnite and throw it in the trash and be done with it.”

“Mom, are you mad at me?”

“I’m actually not. I thought this might happen when I saw you drinking all of that soda with your friends last night and then practically passing out afterwards. And I think you’ll agree, next time if your friends stay the night instead of going home after the movie, you’ll be happy to wear a Goodnite to protect you from a lot of embarrassment.”

“Don’t you think I’d be more embarrassed if one of them found out I was wearing pull ups like one of their little brothers or sisters? I just need to not be stupid and drink that much next time. It was my fault mom, you’re right.” Amy chided herself for being so stupid and enjoying herself too much. She didn’t deserve to have fun nights if she was going to end up peeing herself later from her lack of judgment.

Meredith was actually surprised with herself for not being upset with Amy over this accident. On the one hand, she knew full well a 16-year-old peeing herself was a bit on the unusual side, but she’d always felt like Amy was growing up too fast ever since her pre-teen years when Amy began to assert herself and displayed a very strong mind of her own. Now, looking at her “big girl” on the bed in a wet diaper, for all intents and purposes, she realized this was her little girl, and that this girl was all she had. She knew her nurturing instincts were trumping her superimposed disciplinarian principles, but she didn’t care. In this moment, Amy was vulnerable and beaten, not showing any rebellion or forcing her will on the situation, and that made Meredith feel able to be a mother again instead of a warden.

“Honey, I think you girls had a great time last night and I don’t want this little issue to make that any less enjoyable for you. Honestly, I look back at my teen years and some of those late night hangouts with friends are the fondest memories of my life. I even remember a few times when your father and I were just newly married and we stayed up late watching movies and sleeping in the next morning, and it was so much fun.” Smiling at her daughter, she gave her another hug and rubbed her back once again for a few moments before adding, “I love you Amy, and I want you to be a happy girl.”

Amy didn’t understand why she could wake up wet one morning and face a torrent of criticism and then wake up another morning several weeks later to compassion and much coveted warmth from her mother. The only thing that had changed was her pull up. Could it simply be that her mother didn’t care about anything other than the mess? That must be it…when her mother had to do all of that cleanup it had to be frustrating.

“I already made breakfast an hour ago, but there’s still some pancakes left if you want to heat them in the microwave when you get yourself cleaned up and dressed.” Meredith left the room and made her way to the office she shared with her husband to catch up on paperwork.

Amy meanwhile sat on her bed a few minutes longer, still deep in thought. She was beginning to realize that she was her own worst enemy, not her mother. Her years of antagonizing her mother in both overt and covert ways only served to frustrate her mother which in turn made her mother be more critical and demanding. She had only seen her actions as a natural reaction when her mother didn’t give her what she wanted, but all of her fighting had only worked against her. In the end, her failure to stay dry this morning was humiliating, defeating, and certainly exactly what her mother should have been frustrated with her about. Instead, she had been wearing the garment her mother prescribed and her accident had been handled with minimal mess and fuss as her mother had expected. She realized that perhaps the woman was really looking out for her daughter and perhaps knew more than she’d given her credit for over the years. Perhaps Amy would be a happier girl if she tried to listen to her mother more.

Leaving her bed, Amy slowly walked towards the bathroom in just her t-shirt and Goodnite. She passed by her mirror and stopped to examine her reflection. Staring back at her was a girl of 16 with a slight white bulge appearing beneath her t-shirt where thin underwear should be. She couldn’t decide if this slightly less mature look was repulsive or cute, so she turned and made her way back to the bathroom to clean up. It didn’t take much to remove the heavy garment from her waist as it easily dropped to the floor with the aide of gravity. Amy picked up the used pull up and examined it. The plain white look was overshadowed by the clear yellow patch now covering two-thirds of the middle area. It had also swelled to three times its original size and it squished in her hands when she moved it around. Yes, this was just like any of the wet diapers she’d changed in her babysitting experiences except it was larger and had elastic sides instead of taped sides. That realization wasn’t new to her as she knew both diapers and pull ups were used for the same purpose, but she still somehow felt that some level of maturity had been stripped from her by donning such a garment and using it for its intended purpose. Was she really much more mature than the toddlers she changed when they woke up wet? She didn’t know, but her mother’s acceptance this morning muted any extreme frustration she might have felt towards herself otherwise for wearing garments not unlike a toddler’s. Hopping into the shower, she felt the clammy skin and the remaining guilt of her wet morning wash away. The prospect of tasty pancakes after her shower further lightened her mood.

The rest of the day was a fairly typical Saturday, but shortly before dinner the special treat she hadn’t been expecting was announced. Her father was taking her to the movies and ice cream right after they had dinner. The two of them rarely spent that much time together, so Amy and her father talked about anything and everything while they were out and about. Amy wished that her father would set aside his work more, but just the fact that he had taken an entire evening to spend with her made Amy feel loved and special. On the way back to the house, Amy scooted a little closer to him on the bench seat of her father’s truck and laid her head against his arm. Her display of affection made the topic David wanted to discuss that much more difficult to bring up. He’d already known his daughter wouldn’t be happy about it, but he wanted her to know he was involved in his daughter’s life, even the rough parts.

“Honey, did you have a good time tonight?”

“Oh yes, I loved Shrek, you were right dad.” Amy had whined slightly when her father had overruled her request to watch Pearl Harbor, as he claimed the reviews he read indicated it was going to be a sub-par movie with questionable historical accuracy. He had instead suggested Shrek, and though Amy had thought Pearl Harbor a more grown up movie that all her peers had been pining to see for the supposed romantic qualities, she had to admit Shrek had plenty of its own grown up moments and she even enjoyed the more kid-oriented parts too. Though she wouldn’t admit it to her friends, she had only recently started to feel the beginnings of true attraction to boys. Before that, she’d mainly pretended to be into the things her peers were, including the boy crazy stuff. She suspected it had something to do with the fact that she was a late bloomer in more ways than one.

“That’s great honey, I’m glad. I honestly thought it was fun and clever too and I think I’ll have to buy this when it comes out on DVD to watch at home with your mom too. I bet she’ll like it.” David smiled and reached around his daughter for a squeeze before returning his attention to the road, then to his next topic.

“Sweetheart, I was talking to your mom a few days ago and she told me about your…problem in the evenings again.”

Amy felt a bit of shame well up in her as she really had hoped her dad wouldn’t be aware of her childish habit that had suddenly become a genuine problem. Albeit, she knew her parents shared virtually everything with each other, so the hope was remote to say the least. Still, Amy adored her father, and the fact that they were even discussing her recent wettings was disheartening.

“I want you to know Amy that I support your mother and in fact I told her she could handle your accidents in the past in whatever way the two of you could work out and the same applies to the present. I’m glad your mother finally went through with the Goodnites so you both don’t have the mess to worry about.” David paused to once again give his daughter a squeeze, trying to discern what her reaction would be.

For her part, Amy wondered if last night’s accident was known to her father, and she decided that she should be open with him since he seemed to be really going out on a limb to be sweet to her about it.

“Did mom tell you I had a little accident last night?” Amy blurted out, a bit too matter-of-factly to be natural.

“She did. I actually had planned this night for us a few days ago, but when she told me this afternoon about your accident, I thought it was even more perfect to cheer you up a bit honey.” David smiled at his daughter and continued. “I’m sure this will be only temporary, like it has been before.”

“Dad, I’m really worried about camp. Do you think I will have to wear them when I go? Mom said six months but I can’t, I just can’t let people know…” Her voice trailed off. She’d seen an opportunity to have an advocate with her father on the matter and she’d taken it. She hoped he’d understand and overrule her mother, but either way she had to try at least.

“Honey, your mother actually already filled out the paperwork with the camp and one of the questions on the application was regarding special medications or considerations for medical needs and she felt that she should let the camp know that you might have a problem in the evenings. It would be inconsiderate to let you go and then if you had an accident pretend we had no knowledge of accidents in the past.” David could see the slight look of anxiety and frustration spreading across his daughter’s face. “I’m sure you’ll feel more comfortable knowing that you’re protected if you have another accident, right?”

“Yeah, maybe there’s some comfort in that, but what if someone finds out? I couldn’t face those girls again, I just couldn’t!” Amy felt a tear run down her cheek before she worked her emotions back into control.

“Well actually, I believe your mother was going to share this bit of good news with you later, but I don’t think she’ll care too much if I share it now.” Smiling at his daughter, he noticed a slight look of hope in her eyes, but overall concern remained.

“Since this camp is actually a university most of the year, you’ll be staying in unoccupied dormitory rooms normally used by college students during the school year. That means you’ll only have two roommates at most in your immediate room and possibly only one roommate. Plus, the program apparently tries to match up kids with medical issues so they can be all handled in one place, so you’ll likely be rooming with girls who either have a similar issue or other problems and those kinds of kids will be more understanding if you were to let your secret out.”

The realization of the good and bad sides to such an arrangement were immediately apparent to Amy as she listened to her father.

“Dad, that’s great and all, but won’t I be basically one of the weird girls if everyone knows I’m staying in the ‘special’ rooms?”

“I really don’t know how clear that will be to everyone else, since I doubt anyone with severe medical issues would even be able to attend a volleyball camp, I doubt it’ll be that obvious. Maybe you should just pray about it honey, I’m sure it’ll all work out.” David turned the car onto their street and the last few minutes of the ride home were silent.

Her father’s assurances only slightly improved her mood and she mulled his last statement over in her head. She knew her father wanted her to share her problems with God, but somehow she figured He wouldn’t care about something so stupid as some random girl out of billions who peed herself at night. In fact, the more she thought about a divine angle to her problem, the more she was convinced that was fruitless. She’d manipulated and treated her mother horribly by intentionally wetting herself and creating messes for years, so she wasn’t about to pretend she deserved anything good. She also suspected that if she still believed in Santa she’d have gotten coal for sure the past few years.

Nonetheless, she knew her daddy loved her and she’d had a great night with him even if she knew she didn’t deserve a lot of things. She was going to try and fix things and be a better girl. As the pair exited the truck and entered the house, they hugged and exchanged goodnights before Amy added, “and I love you daddy”, heading up the stairs to bed.

“I love you too sweetheart…” David called softly after her as he headed to his office.

Re: The Mystery of Disposition

Chapter 4

“Once uton a pime there lived a geautiful burl who was bursed at cirth by a ficked wairy. This ficked wairy was jealous of the burl and cast a spevil ell on the burl that made her slo to geep when she ficked her pringer. The food gairy tried to save her, but it was loo tate and the burl ficked her pinger under the trickery of the ficked wairy. So the burl became Beeping Sleauty.”

“Some lime tater, a pransome hince was funting in the horest when he came upon the resting place of Beeping Sleauty which had grown over with wagical meeds. The meeds were no match for the hince’s swagic mord and soon the meeds were chopped away. The pransome hince came upon the burl and was bitten by her sleauty, so he reached down and gave her a smooch on her link pips.”

“Excitedly, she awoke and exclaimed, ‘You have sproken my bell!’ Soon after, bedding wells rang for Beeping Sleauty and the pransome hince and, of course, they lived…”

The girl’s soft, melodic voice paused, waiting for the expected response from the young boy with the silly smile spread across his tired face.

“Happy ever and ever after.” The boy added with a deep yawn.

“Well, I suppose we’ll go with that.” Amy chuckled as she realized her story had done the trick. The rambunctious 3-year-old’s energy reserves were finally spent and he was ready for bed. “JJ, are you ready for night nights sweetie?”

The boy yawned and looked back to his babysitter with drooping eyes that spoke to the affirmative, but he wasn’t ready to give up to his tired body just yet.

“Amy tell it again, I don’t wanna go to bed yet!” The whining had begun, but Amy knew this would be over very quickly tonight so she chose not to fight it.

“Alright, but as soon as I see the little eyes on this cute little boy close, he’s going right into his little bed.” She chuckled and pulled him onto her lap, snuggling him and starting the story again.

As always, she changed the story slightly from the last time, but for this rendition she purposefully slowed her pace and added irrelevant details to prolong the story and cause the already tired child to lose interest and give in to his body’s call for slumber. A few minutes passed and with several subtle yawns added for good measure, she began telling JJ how the burl would soon slo to geep and how little boys with tired eyes should also slo to geep. JJ yawned deeply for the fifth time, mumbling something Amy could barely understand as he was clearly falling under her sleeping spell. Growing limp, she ended the story and carried the little boy to his bed and tucked him in for the night.

Her babysitter task complete for the evening, it was time to enjoy the massive entertainment system in the family room. The Chadwicks were rather well off and though they weren’t particularly generous people, they did allow her free use of virtually anything in the house, providing she didn’t damage anything. She supposed they could still replace the entire house easily if they had to, but Mr. Chadwick especially was adamant that the house always be left in as good or better condition after Amy left, so she tried her best to mind his rules to keep the paycheck coming.

“Hmm, Nintendo 64? Dreamcast? PS2? What do I feel like…”

Her verbal pondering was suddenly interrupted by the cordless phone near her playing a particularly asinine ring she couldn’t possibly see someone choosing to use.

“Hello, Chadwick residence.” She was instructed to answer the phone with that specific response and not give any indication that she was alone in the home.

“Amy, it’s mom.”

“Oh, hey mom. I just put JJ to bed, what’s up?”

“Well, I don’t think I’m going to be able to pick you up tonight after all honey. I did something stupid and locked my keys in the car. Because we’re on the far side of town, the only locksmith in the area wants to charge me $75 to come out here tonight and your father would be so upset if he saw that $75 charge on the card for something stupid. Janice thinks we have a guy in the church who can get it open tomorrow so I’m going to try that.”

“But mom, you have to get home somehow, can’t you pick me up too?” Amy couldn’t hear the slight whine in her voice, but her mother picked up on it. Feeling guilty for the whole situation, Meredith made her best effort to be understanding to her daughter’s frustration.

“Yes honey, Trish is driving me home but I can’t ask her to come by the Chadwick’s too. It’s over 30 minutes out of her way. Most of the other ladies have already left since dinner was over an hour ago, so my options are limited. I’m sorry honey, but I did call Betty and she said it’s ok if you say the night with them. They should be home shortly and they will give you a room to stay in.”

“But mom, they’re weird and every time I end up here when they’re here it’s just stupid and no one knows what to say so Mrs. Chadwick just talks about nothing and Mr. Chadwick acts like he’d rather not have me around to begin with. I think he just gave me this job because dad knows him.”

“Honey, I’m sorry. I know you don’t really enjoy spending time around them, but I’m afraid you’ll have to suck it up tonight.”

“Ugh, mom this is stupid. Really? Why can’t you ask someone else to pick me up? What’s Uncle Tim and Aunt Rhonda doing?”

Meredith’s sigh was slight, but Amy heard it clearly. Amy was upset that her mom had put her in this stupid situation. It was one thing to take care of a 3-year-old for these people, but she didn’t want to be their house guest for the night. She suspected at least one of the Chadwicks agreed with her and that made it all the more reason to leave like she always did.

“Amy, I’m really sorry honey, I know this is my fault. But you’re going to have to do this for me just tonight. Just think of this as doing me a favor, can you just do that for me honey? Please?”

Knowing how hard her mother was trying to be considerate made it a little easier to acquiesce to the situation. She knew ultimately she couldn’t win anyway, and since her mother was at least being nice about it, fighting her now would only ruin the opportunity for her mother to owe her something even if she knew it likely wouldn’t amount to anything.

“Ok, you’ll pick me up in the morning then? Please make it early, I don’t want to spend the day here.”

“I’ll get you as soon as I handle the car. If for some reason it takes too long, I’ll see about having your aunt pick you up if she’s free, ok?”

“Yeah ok mom. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then, good night.”

“Night sweetheart, I love you.”

“Night mom.”

Amy felt a slight pang after she hit the button to hang up the phone. Maybe she was wrong, but she didn’t feel like saying those words back to her mother. Yes, she of course loved her parents, but she wasn’t feeling particularly loving tonight and she was still working through how to get what she wanted and needed from her parents while not being a bad daughter.

Of course, the thoughts in her head weren’t so self-aware. It really came down to a system of trial and error, then a best guess on how any particular trial worked by measuring the amount of error. Each trial seemed to at least have error present, but the amount was different for each.

Ever since that first wet Goodnite several weeks ago, Amy had tried to be less obstinate and overtly undermining of her mother. Her old methods had been employed for years and recent happenings led her to see in a new light the painful errors they produced. She’d found that putting on a good face, practicing saying the right things, and doing more of what she was told was resulting in less fighting and punishments, but somehow she still felt something was missing in her relationship with her mother. Her father was of course still her daddy, and she adored him just the same, though she made more effort to be a good daughter for him too. She wasn’t sure she could handle this method forever, but for now it seemed to be making things a bit easier for her.

Meanwhile, in the back of her head, a gnawing sensation was forming that she was forgetting something. While thinking about how she’d changed dealing with her mother the past couple of weeks, Amy realized that the wet Goodnite was the catalyst. It was a sinking realization. She was going to stay the night at the Chadwick home and she had no Goodnites with her!


Re: The Mystery of Disposition

More Please more!!! ;D :smiley: :wink: :slight_smile: 8)

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Re: The Mystery of Disposition

Chapter 5

Panic was too strong a word. Amy paced around, debating on either staying awake the entire night or sleeping on the floor in case something happened. Would it happen though? Of the dozen or so mornings since the first wet Goodnite she’d had two more accidents and both were smaller wettings than the soaking she’d given the Goodnite after movie night with her friends. Still, that was a chance she wasn’t willing to take especially considering this family probably wouldn’t understand her problem. Heck, they’d probably get rid of her if she wet one of their beds and probably give her horrible references to anyone that asked. She just couldn’t let that happen.

While still thinking of how she was going to get out of this situation, Amy heard the sound of the garage door opening and soon after a car pulling in. They were home, and she had a real problem on her hands.

For now, she focused on not appearing nervous, but she was sure it wasn’t working. For one thing, pacing certainly screamed nervous, so she found a chair and allowed herself to sit and work on calming down. When she saw Mrs. Chadwick coming up the stairs, she put on a good face and did her best to seem happy about the evening’s events.

“Oh Amy, can you believe your mother! I just can’t imagine how she did that and I did tell her my solution is to always have a secret key you can get to in case you make a boo-boo like that. I’m sure the next time she’ll…”

The woman continued to ramble on, but Amy didn’t pay attention to much else she was saying. Betty Chadwick was one of those women who talked just to talk. Half of what she said was of no consequence and the other half was questionable. Most of the time, Amy just politely listened all the while wishing she didn’t have to. Around the time she heard something about a room and following her upstairs, she got up from the chair she’d been keeping warm and followed the still-rambling lady up the stairs. Somewhere around the 11th stair she heard a question about JJ.

“…good with the potty this evening?”

“Oh, ummm…well I think he’s still got a ways to go, but he did at least tell me he had to go twice.”

As the two women entered the large, apparently unused bedroom they continued to discuss the potty training of the younger Chadwick.

“Oh, so he did make it to the potty twice then?”

“No, his pull-up was wet both times by the time he got to the potty.”

“Oh dear. Did you pull his pants down for him?”

“No, I thought he would need to learn how to do that, right?”

“Amy dear, some 3-year-olds still need help with that and I’m surprised with all your babysitting experience your father speaks of, you didn’t know that.”

Amy felt a bit insulted. She had babysat at least a half-dozen different children which she supposed was a lot for a girl her age, but she had only helped potty train one other child. The others were either in diapers the entire time or already trained. Her reluctance to pull JJ’s pants down was due to the idea in her head that training included learning that part yourself too and she didn’t think she should have to do everything for him. Still, considering the Chadwicks were paying her well and he was their kid, she supposed even if they wanted her to sing a song while he was on the potty she’d do that too.

“I’m sorry, I’ll try to help him more ma’am.”

“That’s a good girl, thank you sweetheart. I’m sure we’ll have this thing taken care of in no time.” Betty smiled and patted Amy gently on the shoulder as she moved further into the room to show Amy where she’d be sleeping. Before she could resume her chatter, however, Amy felt the need to ask something.

“Are you sure this isn’t too much trouble? Maybe I can call my mom again and see if she wants to come and get me now that she’s home.”

“Oh don’t be silly dear, it’s no trouble at all! And your mother explained the situation to me and I am quite sure she is unable to come and get you this evening and James and I are certainly not making that trip at this hour, so it seems you will be our guest this evening.” She smiled a sugary sweet smile that Amy almost couldn’t believe could be real, but the lady seemed rather sincere.

“Oh, well ummm…thank you. It is a very nice room ma’am, and I’m sure it’ll be comfy.”

“Oh it will! This was our old bed from the master bedroom and really the only reason we got a new one was to go up to a king-size with the new bedroom furniture. It’s still a very nice and comfortable mattress.”

The last phrase stuck with Amy as the older woman moved herself about the room showing Amy where extra pillows and blankets were in case she wanted them. Amy knew she absolutely could not sleep in that bed in underwear and risk ruining the second most prized mattress in the house. She had to think of something. Her thoughts were broken when she realized Betty was standing next to her holding a stuffed bear and asking her something.

“I don’t know if you still sleep with a teddy, but if you would like one, you may have this one. It’s nothing pretty but it’s very soft and…”

Oddly enough, Amy did still often sleep with a stuffed animal or two, but she had felt very shy about sharing that fact with many people. On nights when she couldn’t sleep, something about cuddling one of her favorite bears or other stuffed creatures still made her calmer and relaxed. However, she felt awkward telling her employer for fear she would seem otherwise immature more so than she already felt for the secret gnawing at her in the back of her mind.

“I umm, don’t really sleep with my bears much anymore, but thank you.”

“Well if you change your mind, he’ll be over in the corner waiting for you. If it makes you feel any better, I slept with a teddy until my wedding night and didn’t feel a bit ashamed about it.”

Amy wasn’t sure how to respond to that, and she hoped the awkward smile that escaped wasn’t too telling of her true thoughts on the matter. As was her gift, Betty soon broke the silence.

“Well my dear, I had better go see what James is up to since he didn’t come upstairs when we came in. I’ll let you settle in but it’s almost 10, so I wouldn’t stay up too much longer if I were you. We’ll be going to bed soon as well, but let me know if there’s anything else you need.”

A bed time? Though Amy wasn’t sure, she distinctly felt like Betty didn’t want her roaming about the house by herself after they went to bed. For that matter, she still wondered if they wanted her at all, as she knew Mr. Chadwick didn’t, and it was probably just an expected nice thing for the lady of the house to do. Still, Betty had never given Amy legitimate reason to think the older woman disliked her, so she dismissed the negativity and instead went over to the plush bed to check it out.

The bed was probably the same size as her parent’s bed, a queen she assumed. The frame around the bed was solid, dark wood and she imagined it would take several men to move the bed. Probably expensive, but very nice. That was the Chadwicks for sure. Pulling back the covers, she found what was inside to be equally nice. She was going to sleep well tonight…

Ugh, no, she wasn’t. The thought of her predicament came rushing back to her. She needed a plan, and fast.

As she was once again pondering, the talkative woman re-entered carrying a toothbrush and a bar of soap.

“I thought you might like to clean up before bed, so these are for you. Good night dear, sleep well.”

“Oh, thank you ma’am. Good night to you too.”

“Might as well I suppose…” thought Amy.

She wasn’t really sure which bathroom she was supposed to use, so she decided on the one she always used next to JJ’s room. She managed to dig up some toothpaste and set about brushing her teeth and washing her face. She needed a washcloth, so she opened the supply closet inside the bathroom and found one. However, as she was closing the closet, her eye caught on something that momentarily pleased and then frustrated her.

Near the bottom of the closet was the opened package of Pampers Size 6 that JJ still occasionally used when his potty training hit a huge setback. His parents preferred using them on him at night as well, but recently they had been letting him wear his pull-ups to bed in an effort to keep him feeling like he was really wearing underwear and hopefully moving his potty training along faster. Several times that resulted in leaks overnight as they didn’t seem to hold quite as much, but his toddler bed had a waterproof mattress and no one seemed much to care when he had accidents.

Amy on the other hand was considering whether or not it was even reasonable for her to consider wearing one. First of all, she doubted it would even fit on her and even if she could get it taped up, she didn’t know if it would hold all of her pee. However, she hadn’t really had much to drink in the past couple of hours and even though she was slightly thirsty, she dared not entertain the notion of getting a drink before bed. She considered that the Pampers never leaked on JJ even if he wet them multiple times, so perhaps the chance of an overflow was remote. This was it, her only option. The final blow was the pang of realization that she, the babysitter, was about to attempt to diaper herself in one of her charge’s baby diapers. Somehow she already had come to terms with her Goodnites really being diapers themselves, but still this seemed like several steps downward on the maturity ladder.

She listened for a moment to see if either of the adults had come upstairs, and hearing nothing, she locked the bathroom door, removed her pants, and laid down on the floor. The tile floor was cold! This was definitely not the nice, padded changing table that JJ got his diapers changed on. She proceeded to remove her panties and open up the diaper, placing it underneath her. She was surprised to see that she actually had very little trouble getting the stretchy sides to attach on one side. A small victory, as the other side she could see would be far more challenging. She was on the smaller side of average, but her real saving grace was that being a late bloomer, Amy still had very straight, childish hips and therefore much less bulk for the diaper to cover.

Finally, she managed to stretch and re-position the diaper enough to get the other side closed without being overstretched. She wiggled around adjusting everything and crawled to her feet, finally standing in front of the mirror. She suddenly had a similar feeling to the first time she stood in front of a mirror wearing Goodnites. The mixed feeling was one of repulsion and odd attraction. She genuinely looked cute, but in a kiddish sort of way. At the same time, it was obvious this diaper was made for someone much smaller and the fact that silly cartoon animals were staring back at her made her feel silly and upset with herself and everything else.

Why did she have to have this problem? Why did her mother lock her stupid keys in the car? Why were the Chadwicks so easily upset about their house that wetting the bed would probably earn her a lost job? She tried her best to stop those thoughts from flowing as the tears already had. Through blurred vision, she determined that the diaper was stretched, but still covered her parts completely and would likely do its job, so she put her clothes back on over the diaper and finished her business in the bathroom.

Amy slowly returned to her bedroom for the evening, walking softly to make sure no one could hear the soft crinkle of the diaper.

On entering the bedroom, she momentarily considered sleeping as she normally did in her underwear. But Amy was tosser, often losing her sheets in the night, so the thought of waking to one of the Chadwicks finding her with an exposed diaper was more than enough motivation to keep her clothes on. Turning off the last remaining light in the room, she crawled into the plush and comfortable bed and prayed for a dry night and a quick pick-up by her mom in the morning.

Twenty minutes later, she couldn’t get comfortable. The diaper didn’t feel terribly different from her Goodnite as it had loosened up a bit walking to the bedroom, but she absolutely felt weird sleeping in all her clothes. Another twenty minutes passed and she was sure she’d already heard the Chadwicks’ door close for the evening. Finally, Amy knew what she had to do. Looking to the right of the bed, she saw the bear she had spurned earlier, and knew he’d make her feel better. She rescued him from his lonely corner and brought him into the bed with her, snuggling his soft body next to her and slowly finding a comfortable position. At last, she felt herself slowly relaxing to a level she hadn’t felt since it was just her and JJ playing earlier. She soon found rest and joined the youngest member of the household in dreamland; the land where all children are happy, loved, and content.

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Re: The Mystery of Disposition

Please more!! I love the detail and the theme.

Re: The Mystery of Disposition

More please. ;D

Re: The Mystery of Disposition

Chapter 6

[i]Old house.
Fuzzy bear.
Salty air.
Half-remembered tune.
Breakfast food.

It was coming into focus now.

She was walking through a small, older house early in the morning. Clutching a bear, his old fur bunched up in her small fists while smelling the soft ocean breeze blowing through the halls. Hearing the random childish hum coming from her own lips was surreal and the smell of food cooking downstairs could only mean breakfast was nearly ready.

Her senses fully engaged, the lack of substance to anchor her to reality was barely perceivable.

But the dream was always this vivid. Amy had relived these scenes countless times in her unconscious state. Though she didn’t always remember having the dream, the repetition and subject matter were such that she’d become aware of the experience over the years and now retained most of the details.

It always began with her walking through some hallway of the old house she’d lived in a long time ago during her preschool years. An old bear long since passed on was being dragged alongside her as she hummed a tune, though she was never able to determine the song. Breakfast was cooking downstairs, but that smell always triggered the dream to shift to her parents’ bedroom where she was sitting on the floor looking at a pile of pictures strewn across one side of the room. Apparently, little Amy had gotten curious and gotten into mommy’s unfinished project.

The next scene always managed to upset Amy despite the passage of time, and had caused her to wake before the dream finished on several occasions over the years. Meredith had discovered the child having gotten into her picture project, but it was the question coming from her daughter’s mouth as Amy saw her mother enter the room that lit the fire.

“Mommy who is this lady?” Amy asked, turning a picture of a dark-haired, blue-eyed woman in her mid-20s towards Meredith. “She has eyes like me mommy, see?” Amy was pointing to the woman’s eyes recognizing the similarity to her own blue eyes, a trait which neither her mother nor her father shared with her. To the 4-year-old, it was a simple case of connecting the dots and seeing someone else who shared a feature with her and naturally it warranted telling mommy of such an exciting discovery. Meredith’s excitement was for completely different reasons.

Her fury was expressed with a broken, shrill voice, “She’s a bad lady who hurt your daddy! Give me that and go to your room! GO!!” Meredith yanked the picture out of Amy’s hands and added a hard swat to the bottom of her scurrying little girl, running to escape her mother’s anger.

Instead of ending up in her room, however, the dream brought Amy the top of the stairs listening to a heated conversation between her parents occurring downstairs some time later. She didn’t understand most of what she overheard, but she did hear them talking about some lady named Lana and her mommy kept calling the lady names she didn’t recognize, but she did remember hearing the word “hooker” come up several times.

The dream then faded to Amy sitting in her room, crying her eyes out and trying to remember what the picture looked like. Dreamer Amy and little Amy usually became one at this point as they both tried to see the woman who had made her mother so upset and had obviously done something horrible to her daddy. Still, the secrecy and explosive reaction from her mother led Amy to want to know who this woman was, even though some part of her always hated what that woman had obviously done to their family even if she might never learn the details.[/i]

Over the years, she understood a little more of what had happened, but Amy never asked her mother about it again, and she was afraid to mention it to her father. The best she could tell, most of what she experienced actually happened since she knew some components of the dream actually were real memories, though the natural twisting and skewing of reality inherent to dreaming coupled with the skewing of ones memory of their early childhood meant Amy wasn’t completely sure what was real and what was embellishment or flat out didn’t happen. Until recently, she hadn’t even known what the word “hooker” meant and being somewhat sheltered and naive, she still didn’t fully understand all of the possible ramifications of that word.

On this morning as the dream faded, she tried to once again make sense of everything as she had so many times before. Did Lana try to break up her parent’s marriage by stealing her father away? Did she seduce her father before he met her mother? It didn’t make sense, nor did she have enough information to really get anywhere with it. But Amy’s real angst was something she didn’t understand, though it always made her uneasy nonetheless. One frame of the dream would flash into her mind’s eye of her mother, staring down at Amy with anger, and Amy couldn’t understand why she sensed some of that anger was directly aimed at her instead of the picture. In her younger years, she had always just taken for granted that mommy was mad at her for getting into the pictures and that was the end of it.

But this morning, she was remembering another conversation she’d overheard, this time when she was nine. Meredith had been having a conversation with one of her friends when Amy heard Lana’s name again. It was the only time she actually remembered hearing the name outside of her dreams. Meredith quickly changed the subject and after her friend left, she came up with a daunting list of chores for Amy, leaving the girl confused as to why her mother would take our her frustration over this Lana woman on her.

It didn’t make sense to her, but this was the start of the battles with her mother. Amy always felt like more was expected of her by her mother than her peers’ parents expected of them and yet she had no greater responsibility or privileges than they did. On the contrary, she felt smothered and controlled to a greater extent. Higher expectations with few of the benefits meant Amy had acted out to frustrate and get back at her mother for being unreasonable over the past six years.

But even Amy didn’t realize that it all boiled down to one thing: she wanted to feel loved and respected by her parents. Her father wasn’t around enough to give it and her mother doled out love and affection in such controlled doses that it never felt genuine or fulfilling. Amy’s recent plan to try and be happier by doing what was expected and being a “good daughter” was really a continuation of her childish trial and error system, using different methods to try and obtain happiness and attention for herself when she felt something was missing. So far, she was seeing improvement, but she was truly no more committed to obeying her parents if results weren’t to accompany the change in plan.

The sun was shining bright and the Pooh clock in JJ’s room read 7:40. The 3-year-old had already been up for nearly an hour playing in his room. A few weeks ago, his parents had decided he was old enough to start playing with Legos, and they bought him several starter sets. The boy had been having so much fun with them that his parents tripled the size of his collection and now he was probably the 3-year-old with the most Legos in town. Anyone observing the child would realize he actually had something up on his peers with finger coordination and problem solving. Rather than putting pieces in his mouth or building random connections of pieces, the boy built crude structures and makeshift vehicles which he then proceeded to play with in his own make believe world. Of course, the average 10-year-old could build something far more impressive in less than half the time, but JJ was learning fast.

Yesterday, he had even gotten Amy to play with him, and he was excited to learn several new ways to make corners and roofs. In reality, Amy had always loved playing with Legos, and it was only in the past couple of years that she’d finally felt guilty playing with them as a highschooler and she’d reluctantly confined them to her closet. JJ’s new interest was an excuse for her to play again with one of her favorite toys and she had excitedly shared her experience with JJ, though she felt somewhat guilty enjoying it as much as she did.

Looking over his five structures which he called “houses”, JJ felt proud of what he had made and he wanted to show off his work. However, he was told to never go into his parents’ room before the little hand on his clock hit the number 8 but he was growing impatient. To him, the little hand was just taking an eternity to move to its destination, so he determined to find another audience for now. In his room, he had his favorite stuffed animals, a monkey and a puppy, along with a random assortment of a half-dozen other creatures. He brought over several including his favorites and asked the monkey what he thought of the Lego houses he’d made. The monkey said they were the coolest houses ever and that he should bring everyone to see who would like to live in them since that’s what houses are for after all. JJ agreed that the monkey was right, so he brought over the rest of the animals for his first open house.

The puppy was partial to the blue house with the occasional random green bricks and he said that he wanted to marry the baby seal and live in that house with her, so those two were placed next to the first house. The monkey wanted the house with no roof and he wanted to marry a small stuffed mouse that JJ had of course named Mousey. The tiger and tigress (obviously a couple, he recognized) were partial to the long and skinny white house with a few black pieces for a makeshift roof. Soon there were two houses left and only a single couple remaining. JJ suddenly realized he was going to run out of prospective residents before he ran out of houses, so he started thinking of where else he might find tenants for his new housing project.

Amy had fallen back asleep after the brief period of consciousness following her dream. Now stirring slightly, she was mildly aware of the bedroom door opening and the soft patter of a small someone moving into the room. Turning and lifting herself slightly, the morning light coming through the mostly-closed blinds was more than enough to help her recognize JJ moving to the far corner of the room towards the small collection of teddy bears. As she was about to say something, she at once remembered that she was wearing one of the boy’s diapers and simultaneously she recognized a slightly odd feeling beneath her. It wasn’t the normal feeling of a dry or wet goodnight; moist, but somehow different, more like sweat from a fitful night’s sleep. She wanted to get up and see if it was just sweat or if she had a wet diaper to deal with, but right at that moment she was focused on being still in the hopes that JJ wouldn’t notice her and she could deal with herself after he left.

For a moment, she seemed relieved as he had made it all the way to the stuffed bears without noticing her. However, as he turned to walk out of the room with a stuffed bear under each arm, he noticed the bed and its occupant. A smile spread across his face and he quickly became excited.

“Amy! You sleeped at our house?” he exclaimed as he came over to the bed and set the bears down before reaching his arms out to be pulled up to join her in the bed.

“Yep, I did…who’s your bear friends?” Amy reached out her arm to help pull him up to the edge of the bed before gently ruffling his hair. She was genuinely happy to see the rambunctious boy, but she was also focused internally on dealing with what was under the sheets.

“Oh umm, dis is Bear Bear and ummm…his mommy.” JJ was clearly making things up as he went, but Amy figured she’d speed things up if she just smiled and nodded for now.

“Ahh, of course. I see the family resemblance.” Amy gave JJ a knowing look, but the boy clearly wasn’t sure what a family resemblance was, so she just ruffled his hair again and added a “never mind” which produced the smile she’d been looking for.

“Amy, you gotta come see my Legos! I makes houses like you!” JJ was clearly now more interested in Amy than the bears. A real person was a better audience than make-believe creatures, even to a 3-year-old. The boy was tugging at her and pleading, so she relented, knowing he likely wouldn’t discover her secret in her fully-clothed state despite her paranoia.

“Alright kiddo, I’ll come see your Lego masterpieces.” she chuckled and rolled to the opposite side of the bed, pulled the covers off and started to stand up when she noticed that one side of her jeans didn’t look right…like a dark shadow was being cast on the upper portion of her left leg. A moment later, she caught a wiff of her accident that must have been mostly masked by the sheets before. The sheets! The bed! Amy started to panic…just as JJ came around that side of the bed to see why she wasn’t getting up.

“Amy you comin? Pwease? I wan…” between the look of horror on the girl’s face and the fact that she was staring at her pants, even the half-potty trained child could spot the problem. “Amy you went pee pee?”

Amy at once felt helpless and at a complete loss for words. Certainly she imagined her position as JJ’s babysitter was over if what she suspected was true under the sheets, but she couldn’t bring herself to look. What’s worse, she felt like she’d betrayed JJ who was supposed to look up to her for guidance on everything from Legos to potty training. How could she explain her problem to him? Of course she couldn’t, and she knew it. He’d either think potty training wasn’t a big deal after all or that Amy wasn’t really much different from him. As she finally brought herself to meet his gaze, she saw what seemed to be a look of pity rather than gloating or mocking like she briefly imagined might be the case. She momentarily wished for one of the other options, as pity from a 3-year-old only meant she’d certainly fallen multiple rungs on the maturity ladder. Soon she realized her clouded vision was a sign of impending rainfall, and a few seconds later the first tears dropped onto her already wet jeans. Soft sobs had already started as JJ came closer and gave her a hug.

“It’s ok Amy, it’s ok Amy.” the boy stroked her arm in a motion she was sure he was mimicking that his mother had often used to calm him when he cried. She genuinely appreciated the thoughtfulness of the boy, but it was lost on her in the depth of her sorrow and frustration. As she continued to cry, a sudden look of revelation appeared on the boy’s face.

“I get mommy Amy, she can fix it!” he quickly exclaimed as he turned and ran for the door.

Amy immediately tried to speak through her sobs, but JJ had already ran nearly to the door before she got out a few half-spoken words to stop him, though he wouldn’t have stopped anyway.

Amy got to her feet and started for the door, momentarily thinking she could run away or at least quickly get rid of the evidence. Then she remembered the bed and realized it was pointless to go anywhere. She still couldn’t bring herself to look under the sheets, but just the edge of the bed where she had been sitting showed a faint spot of wetness and she knew she’d be found out soon enough. Why hadn’t the diaper worked?! She was sure it would hold her pee, but she had been wrong. Slowly, she lowered herself onto the exposed hardwood floor and crawled into a fetal position, her sobs returning as she felt helpless and pathetic.

In the moment, she was vaguely aware that her sobbing was likely to make her appear even more childish, but she was in no frame of mind to fix it. She wanted her daddy to hold her and make it all better, as childish as she knew that sentiment was, it was the only thought that would comfort her. Her own mother would probably be upset with her after this display and furthermore the Chadwicks would never want to see her again. She tried to brace herself for an onslaught of criticism from Mrs. Chadwick, fully expecting the woman’s usual polite hospitality and kindness to run out. Now all that was left was to hope her mother had gotten the car taken care of and would be picking her up soon, so at least it would be her own mother mad at her rather than someone else’s mother.

As Amy heard the patter of JJ’s footsteps with the heavier, more deliberate steps of his mother, she slowly sat up, expecting the worst. Soon, she could hear Mrs. Chadwick starting to call to her in one of her half sing-song voices before even entering the room.

“Amy dear, good morning! Now, what’s this JJ was telling me about you going pee pee?” As Betty entered the half-lit room, Amy was having a hard time telling if the woman was mocking her or if she thought JJ was making it all up and she was deciding to play along with one of his fantasies. However, as soon as Betty’s sugary-sweet, smiling face took in the scene including the obviously distraught girl sitting on the floor next to the bed, her face changed first to confusion, then to mild frustration, and finally a look Amy didn’t understand, but she could only assume Betty was angry with her.

“I…I’m so sorry Mrs. Chadwick…I…had an accident last night.” She sniffled through the congestion brought on by crying and tried to look as sorry as she could. Not knowing what else to say, Amy simply put her head down.

“You poor dear, I guess JJ wasn’t pulling my leg after all about you going pee pee on yourself.” Amy put her head down in shame, not able to bring herself to look at the older woman after hearing her recognition of misplaced faith that Amy wouldn’t have accidents at her age and that JJ was making it all up. “But sweetheart, you should have told me last night if you have accidents so we could have done something to prevent this. Now let’s just see how bad…” Betty went over to the bed to inspect the damage as Amy was gathering herself to her feet to finally see for herself.

“Oh dear, this will need to be professionally cleaned.” Amy watched as Betty pressed her hand down into an oval-shaped wet spot over a foot long and at least half as wide. “Definitely down into the mattress. Oh James is going to be upset…I hope I can deal with this today while he’s out.”

“I’m sorry, I’m…sorry.” Amy was trying to express herself without crying, but the tears were trying so hard to come out again. She needed to tell the older woman that she was trying to be responsible and prevent the problem last night like she was being told she should have. “I did try to prevent it, I…” She stopped for a moment.

“I don’t see how sweetheart, you didn’t say a word about this last night, so how were we supposed to take care of it? I could have let you sleep on one of the cots in the basement at the very least. Now, I need to call someone to handle this before it gets completely ruined.”

Amy desperately needed to show that she had been responsible. Without thinking further, she reached down and unbuttoned her pants, followed by the zipper. She thought showing her diaper was easier than announcing she was wearing one, but just as she was pulling her pants down she regretted her decision. One side of the diaper, the side matching her wet spot, suddenly hung free and un-taped, while the other side remained attached. There Amy stood with a partially fastened baby diaper around her waist and her budding womanhood partially exposed. She quickly pulled the diaper up to cover herself, but her fumbling, nervous hands couldn’t get the diaper back together so she just held it in place. A moment ago, Amy thought her stay at the Chadwick home couldn’t get any worse, but clearly she was wrong.

“Amy, you poor thing, you didn’t try to wear one of JJ’s nappies, did you? Oh you did…no wonder you leaked. Let me see that.” Betty came over to Amy, kneeling down to try and help Amy refasten the diaper. In the process, she felt the diaper for wetness, and realized what had happened. “Well you did try honey, but it seems you didn’t get it taped up very well. This is a little small for you, so it was probably hard, hmm?” Meanwhile she’d managed to refasten the diaper without much difficulty in its stretched state.

Amy was in a daze, not really thinking much about what to do next. Standing there wearing nothing but her barely-necessary bra and t-shirt on her top and baby diaper on her bottom, she just resigned herself to do whatever she was told and maybe Betty wouldn’t hate her in the end.

“Honey, why don’t you go shower and get that yucky pee all washed off. I’ll see if I can’t dig you up some clothes.” Her tone seemed genuine enough, albeit juvenile, but Amy figured she couldn’t blame her. Nodding, Amy slowly carried herself to the bathroom, and just as she was opening the door, she saw JJ look up from his room and notice her. She figured he saw her diaper-clad bottom, but as he already knew she wasn’t much more mature than him anyway, what was the point in pretending? There wouldn’t be much need to impress him anyway as he wouldn’t be in her care for much longer.

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Re: The Mystery of Disposition

Amazing story, especially this last chapter. Can’t wait to read more.

Re: The Mystery of Disposition

Chapter 7

The barely-wet diaper in the trash, Amy undressed and found what she needed for the shower. Then she spent the next 15 minutes feeling the warm, soothing water run over her before she’d done much besides wash her hair. Somehow the water seemed to be washing her frustrations and anxiety down the drain and she didn’t really want that feeling to end. When she heard the bathroom door open and a few moments later close again, reality reared its ugly head. Deciding she should get to it, the rest of the shower went much faster and soon she was turning off the water and stepping out to dry off.

Amy noticed that a pile had appeared next to the towel she’d gotten for drying off. She found a t-shirt that looked altogether too big for her, a pair of shorts having the same problem, and…she couldn’t believe it. At the bottom of the pile was one of JJ’s pull-ups. Did Mrs. Chadwick seriously doubt her toilet training? No, this must be punishment for what Amy was putting her through. Still, this was too much. It was bad enough that she had exposed herself to the woman in a baby diaper clearly donned for the specific purpose to prevent a night time accident, but making her wear a pull-up during the day was just downright humiliating. As she was pondering this latest insult to her maturity, she heard a knock at the door. The woman was obviously checking to see how her punishment was being taken.

“Amy sweetheart, are you finished with your shower?” Her tone seemed roughly equivalent to how she’d acted back in the bedroom, so if there was malevolence, it wasn’t overt. Maybe she put the pull-up in there by mistake.

“Umm, I guess so. I…did you mean to…”

“Are you asking about the pull-up honey?” She did mean to.

No response.

“Amy, I don’t have any underwear that would fit you. I looked. And…I have to be honest honey, I’m a little afraid that if you are sitting on my good furniture and fall asleep we’re going to have more messes. My husband is very particular about the house and I’m already worried about the bed so I can’t deal with any more of this.”

“I…I never have daytime accidents, Mrs. Chadwick. This…this is unfair to treat me like a toddler. What will JJ think?” Amy didn’t know what else to say, but she knew she couldn’t give up her underwear without a protest. However, Betty had already made up her mind.

“Oh don’t you worry dear, I’ve thought about it already and I’d like you to try and wear the pull-up for me today. Ok sweetheart? Just think of it as underwear with a bit more padding just in case. JJ won’t care, he thinks they’re normal underwear and you don’t have to show him if you don’t want to.”

“But they might not even fit!” Amy knew they probably would seeing as she’d barely fit one of JJ’s diapers and the pull-ups were a noticeable step up in size on JJ but she had to try.

“Oh, well let’s try for me and then we’ll see honey.”

Amy was staling for time, but she knew Betty’s patience wouldn’t last forever. She decided to go ahead and get it over with and grabbed the pull-up from the pile. It was the boy version which made them even worse, but at this point it was a small difference. She opened up the garment, and stepped inside her new toddler underwear for the day. As she suspected, the pull-up was snug, but otherwise felt like a smaller version of her Goodnites. Whereas the Goodnites came up past her waistline and had plenty of room with very little stretch, the pull-up rode slightly below her waistline and definitely felt closer to the diaper for fit. Unfortunately, she knew it wasn’t tight enough to put up a huge fight, so she quickly threw on the shirt and pulled up the shorts, the latter of which she couldn’t get to stay up so she held them in place while she opened the door to continue her protests.

“These shorts don’t fit. Do you have anything smaller?” Amy’s response was subdued and tentative as she hoped somehow to find a way out of her current situation. Having no obvious recourse, she simply felt the need to distract from her current undergarment since complaining hadn’t worked so far.

“Let’s see about the pull-up first sweetheart, you said it wouldn’t fit?” Betty’s tone was almost mocking of Amy’s prior complaint, but her ever-present sugary-sweetness once again came out to be the predominate flavor of the conversation.

Amy let go of the over-sized shorts and let them fall to the ground with a large sigh, allowing the woman to claim victory.

“Oh, don’t you look like a little tomboy!” Betty smiled, but then realized she’d taken things a bit too far for a moment. This was her way of lightheartedly dealing with things like this. “Oh, I’m sorry, I was just trying to get you to laugh dear. Those are snug, but they’ll be ok for you today. I’m not sure what we’re going to do about bottoms for you though…” Her voice trailed off as she pondered the situation. “Hmm, well I don’t think my belts will fit you either. Well we can’t have you running around the house like that, so let me go see what I can come up with…”

“Umm, can’t I…just have my jeans back?” Amy hadn’t thought that one through.

“Oh no, of course not, they’re going to need to be washed. I can’t have you sitting around the house in peed clothes, that would just defeat the whole purpose of getting you cleaned up, now wouldn’t it?” Betty chuckled at herself before continuing, “I’ll start a load right away, but I need to get you taken care of first. Just wait, I’ll be back as soon as I find you something sweetheart.”

As she watched Betty walk back down the hallway, Amy realized that for the entire morning, and especially in that conversation, she’d been made to feel more like a late potty-training kindergartner than a teenager. Betty’s tone and word choice had changed into something between her usual tone with Amy and the tone she used with her son. It was clear that Amy wasn’t being punished by wearing the pull-up, but that Betty genuinely believed this was the best thing for her to wear right now as a girl with questionable control of her bladder.

Now that Betty had disappeared, Amy wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do, but standing in the hallway outside the bathroom for an unspecified amount of time wearing a baggy shirt and pull-up seemed like a silly idea, so she turned to walk back to her room. Even though the shirt came a few inches below the bottom of the pull-up, she didn’t feel comfortable being seen, so sitting alone in her room seemed to be the safest option. As she reached out to open the door, she heard JJ’s door open and little feet shuffling towards her. She turned and saw her little friend come around the corner, holding a stuffed bear and smiling at her before a slightly confused look spread across his face.

“Mommy change your diaper?” JJ looked inquisitively at Amy, still trying to reconcile this new development in his world. In his mind, Amy changed his diapers and pull-ups, so in some ways she was a grown up like his mommy. However, he’d seen her with wet pants and going to the bathroom wearing a diaper, so she must be a kid like him too. He didn’t know how that worked, but he was trying to figure it out as best he could.

“Oh, ummm…no JJ, I don’t wear diapers, that was just a one time thing.” Amy saw the young boy wasn’t understanding this explanation, so she tried again. “I have accidents at night sometimes JJ, like you do, so I wear big girl pull-ups to bed when I’m at home. My mommy couldn’t pick me up last night after you went to bed, so I had to sleep here, but I didn’t have any pull-ups so I borrowed one of your diapers but it didn’t work.” She could see he understood a little more.

“Amy you can have my pull-ups for night nights!” JJ beamed at the opportunity to help his friend Amy who had helped him before many times and played with him when his mommy and daddy were gone. He at least understood she didn’t need diapers like he did sometimes, so she must still be older than him and kind of like his mommy. But she still needed big kid pull-ups like him, so she was a kid too.

Amy cringed at JJ’s offer of his pull-ups, knowing she was already wearing a pair but the over-sized t-shirt was barely covering them. She debated on just telling JJ about the pull-ups, but decided she’d let him believe that she only used his pull-ups at night since he seemed tentatively settled on that idea.

“Thank you JJ, that’s very sweet of you honey. Now, go ahead and play and I’ll see you a little later, ok?” Amy turned to go into the room and await her lower coverings.

“But Amy! You never seen my houses!” The pleading look of little boy cuteness always persuaded her, and this time was no different. She turned and let him take her hand to drag her off to the playroom. As they entered, she could see a mess of Legos in several areas and one middle section with crude structures, each having two stuffed animals nearby. She listened as the boy explained each house and each make-believe couple that was going to move into each house. All the while, she was looking at the sea of pieces which caused her mind to wander off into a Lego-building fantasy. She had enjoyed helping JJ build yesterday, and the events of this morning had left her begging for a distraction. Legos were, in fact, about the best thing to hold Amy’s attention for endless hours. Before long, Amy was sitting on the floor with JJ, starting to put together some of her own creations, all the while showing him new tricks and asking him for help in constructing a massive resort for all the animal couples to come and visit when they wanted a vacation.

Meanwhile, Betty had looked through all the old clothes she could think of, and hadn’t found anything close to Amy’s size. The fact of the matter was that Betty was a slightly overweight woman of 40 and Amy was a slightly petite girl of 16. Their clothing sizes and styles were very far apart. Betty did have some clothes from 20 years ago that might have fit Amy, but after JJ was born she’d realized the large amount of baby weight had put her hopelessly far from ever fitting into those clothes again. Instead of entertaining wishful thinking, she purged her wardrobe and gave everything that didn’t fit to the local Goodwill. At this point, the only option she had that might work was an old pair sweat pants of her husbands with a waist string for tightening. However, the pair looked terrible and smelled of the garage where she’d found them in a bin of work clothes.

As Betty reluctantly took the sad pair of pants up the stairs, she could hear giggling and chatter in JJ’s playroom. Deciding to peak in on them and observe, she could see Amy sitting on the floor next to JJ building something with the Legos. She also noticed that Amy had used the long t-shirt like a tent covering over her enough to completely hide the pull-up. Seeing that the two of them appeared to be having a great time playing together, she decided to leave well enough alone. Rather than introduce yet another struggle into the morning by making Amy wear some ratty old pants, she figured as long as her husband was gone and Amy was content to be upstairs playing with her son, it wouldn’t hurt to forgo the pants for now. Amy’s own clothes would be cleaned and dried in a couple of hours anyway.

As Betty looked at the clock, she noticed that it was nearly 10:00am and she hadn’t heard from Meredith yet on when she’d be coming to pick up Amy. She decided to call and see if there was any progress on the car situation.

“Hello, Meredith?”

“Yes, how are you Betty…I hope Amy isn’t being too much of a hassle since I know she really wanted to come home last night.”

“Well it’s been an interesting morning dearie, but Amy is doing alright. I was wondering though how the car situation is working out, have you gotten the lock taken care of yet?”

“Actually I just got off the phone with that friend of mine that told me about this fix-it man last night. Apparently, he’s helping a neighbor install a garage door opener and he’s going to come help me as soon as he’s done. No time estimate I’m afraid, but how long can it take to install one of those things?”

“Well Amy will be fine here until you can come to pick her up. Just if you would Meredith, let me know if it’s looking like dinner time or later.”

“Oh my I certainly hope not. If it goes that long, I’ll try and get someone else to pick her up. I feel bad enough imposing on you this long. And I’m sorry, but I have to ask, was there something that happened this morning that was my Amy’s fault? It sounded like…”

“I’ll catch you up later on that Meredith. I’ve handled it for now dear.”

“I don’t like the sound of that Betty, but we’ll talk about it later then. Thank you again, I’ll update you as soon as I know something.”

“Of course, thank you dearie. Bye now.”

She didn’t want to admit it, but Betty was somewhat annoyed with Meredith and if she had to cast blame for the wetting situation she would put the blame solely on the shoulders of Meredith, not Amy. It was clear that Amy knew this might happen and tried to handle it with one of JJ’s diapers, so that meant that Meredith obviously was aware of the problem and failed to tell her about it the night before. She suspected that Meredith either was totally oblivious, or intentionally didn’t say anything for fear Amy wouldn’t be allowed to stay the night.

Despite Amy’s ability to keep track of a 3-year-old for a few hours and take care of his basic needs, this situation only further established in Betty’s mind that Amy was still a child and one who had parents of questionable character and standards, at least where Meredith was concerned. She further supposed Amy’s wetting was a product of her parents’ fighting or otherwise not providing a home life conducive for a child to grow and mature within. As children are reflections of their parents, when children misbehave or fail to mature properly, she believed ultimately the parents were largely to blame. Yes, in only a few moments, Betty supposed she had the whole thing figured out.

As for Amy, she wouldn’t punish her for this situation by ending the babysitting relationship. She’d spoken with the cleaning company and they were fairly certain a wetting of the size she described could be cleaned today without much harm to the mattress, so she wasn’t as worried about that anymore. However, she would insist that if Amy was to babysit again into the later parts of the evening, she was to wear a pull-up diaper in case she fell asleep or had to sleep over again. If Amy wouldn’t agree to that, she’d unfortunately have to find someone else. She continued to ponder the situation as she started a load of laundry including Amy’s peed clothes.

While the women were talking and Betty was solving the world’s problems, Amy had completely warmed up to playing Legos with JJ. She was back to her old self of 12, totally immersed in building and tweaking her creations, only this time she had a little playmate with her. For his part, JJ was eating up the attention, considering that his mom did lots of things with him, but rarely played with him directly. His dad on the other hand constantly looked for ways to teach him things and even sat down with him one night using Legos to demonstrate how certain things worked. Most of it was way over the little guy’s head, and somehow Amy was the perfect blend of teacher and playmate. He couldn’t get enough.

Amy was incredibly focused on the engineering problem of their second floor in the resort and how she was going to allow them to have a second floor closing off some access to the first floor while still being able to put little Lego people down there. She decided on making the second floor a partial floor with a balcony-like design so they could still see and interact with the people on the bottom floor. As she got up to get some extra flooring pieces she saw across the room, she gave JJ a view of her crotch and the pull-up she was wearing. Up until now, she’d been using the big shirt to cover her like a tent, but this time JJ saw the pull-up and like any young child he needed to point such things out.

“Amy, you wearing pull-ups?”

“Oh, ummm yeah. Your mommy said I should.” Amy thought briefly about explaining that she didn’t have dry underwear, but right now it didn’t seem to matter. JJ was in a pull-up and so was she, and they were having fun building an awesome resort. Before, she’d been worried he’d think less of her, but the look on his face just confirmed he was only curious and didn’t care what she was wearing. JJ thought she was awesome, and short of her daddy, she didn’t think anyone else in the world shared that opinion right now. And besides all that, she knew his mommy insisted Amy should wear one “just in case” anyway, so after this morning’s events she hardly felt like arguing. Playing with Legos was so much more fun than dealing with adults and their criticisms and all the ways she was required to please them. Amy was content to ignore the adult world for today and instead play with her little buddy JJ until her mother decided to show up.

“It’s ok Amy, I wearing pull-ups too.” The little boy smiled and patted Amy on the leg. Yes, he still loved her and didn’t care if she wore underwear, diapers, or pull-ups. That was the kind of love she wished other people in the world had, and at this moment she didn’t really feel the need to further explain to him that she didn’t need to wear pull-ups for daytime.

As the morning wore on, she realized that they’d been playing for a while and Betty had never returned with pants for her to wear. It seemed odd that she’d not have a single pair of pants in the house that could fit her, but as she looked over at JJ intently connecting a series of pieces together, she saw that he was wearing only a shirt and pull-up just like her. “I guess she doesn’t think I need them.” Amy thought. It only further served to frustrate her about the situation. Not only did Betty think Amy had reason to be wearing pull-ups during the day, but she was content to leave her dressed like her toddler son as well.

Though she didn’t realize what was happening, Amy was beginning to feel the same sort of frustration she had felt with her mother over the years when her mother treated her like she couldn’t make any decisions for herself and didn’t trust her with responsibility. Meredith had claimed Amy needed to earn the responsibility, but Amy often felt the standards were out of her reach so she just gave up, and instead fought her mother to get attention by acting out. Now in her mind, Betty was both controlling the entire situation and insisting that Amy couldn’t make a single decision for herself. It wasn’t her fault, but no one seemed to understand that! If only her mother hadn’t left her there to fend for herself with no Goodnites on top of everything…

JJ noticed that Amy was losing interest in their Lego dream resort and he gently poked her with a little person. “Amy, hey. Hey. Amy!” He persisted until she turned her head towards him.

“Yes JJ, what’s up little guy?”

“Umm…let’s play?” He smiled all too cutely and held up a whole section of wall he’d built just like she’d shown him.

“Oh, good job buddy!” The little boy had succeeded in pulling Amy back into the Lego world for the moment. They continued to finish the second floor and started talking about more floors or perhaps constructing other buildings for their resort. Finally, they settled on other buildings, since Amy didn’t want to have to make yet another difficult engineering decision just yet.

Amy suggested that JJ should put the next building together himself using some of the new techniques she’d taught him. She especially hoped to get him to stop his bad habit of stacking 2s on top of each other, building unsteady walls that weren’t tightly locking to provide stability. “I’m gonna check that when you’re done silly boy.” Amy giggled and tickled him a bit.

“Teehee Amy stop it. Hehehe!” He continued giggling and she continued tickling, enjoying seeing him squirming to get away from her loving torture. Then she noticed his eyes widened slightly and he stopped wiggling the same way, so she stopped as well.

“What’s wrong buddy, did I hurt you?” She hoped she hadn’t made him fall on a rough edge of a Lego piece or something, but she didn’t see any tears.

“I went pee pee. Oopsies.” The boy had a slight frown on his face that told Amy what she suspected was true. Betty had always said “Oopsies” when he had an accident, so he’d copied her for the longest time and it was usually a clear indicator that JJ had had a genuine accident and hadn’t just gotten too busy playing.

“It’s ok buddy, that was probably my fault for tickling you so much. Let me see how much you went.” JJ crawled over into her lap and she felt the front of the pull-up for wetness. “Not too bad kiddo, do you still have to go?”

“No! I wanna build!” Clearly excited by the prospect of building something totally for Amy’s approval, he set about to create another building for the resort. Normally as the babysitter, Amy would have dutifully taken JJ to the potty to make sure he’d actually completely emptied his bladder, but right now she didn’t feel much like a babysitter, and she instead felt like JJ should get to do something he wanted to do instead of following every silly little rule.

Shortly thereafter, Betty came up with a healthy brunch of bananas and peanut butter along with a sippy cup of milk for JJ and a water bottle converted to a milk bottle for Amy, for which she gave a funny look when Betty handed it to her.

“Unless you want yours in a sippy too honey, that’s all I have for your drink other than glasses. There’s really no flat surfaces here and I’m uncomfortable with you two playing and accidentally knocking glasses of milk over onto the carpet.” Amy could mostly see the reasoning, but it still felt like she wasn’t trusted, despite any good sense behind it. Betty left, and the two ate their food and drank their milk while continuing to play.

For the next hour, they built several extra resort buildings and Amy inspected JJ’s building. She saw much room for improvement, but taking his age into consideration, she showered him with praise and enjoyed watching his beaming response to her accolades.

Soon it became time to determine what each part of the resort would be used for. Amy had already been thinking about this, but she wanted her building partner’s input. Much of it was unrealistic (a zoo next to the bedrooms?), but she tried to incorporate as many of his ideas into the project as she could. She was intently focused on making sure that every detail was correct and factoring in JJ’s input that she barely noticed the building pressure in her bladder until she shifted around to take a look at the far side of the main building.

She knew she could hold it for a little while longer, but the discomfort was distracting her from the important decisions she was responsible for making. She was afraid that leaving now she’d lose her ideas and JJ might also lose interest, so she held on for a few more minutes before an impulse popped into her head that hadn’t for a long time.

Not only did she want to stay focused on their project, but in the back of her mind in a place she had temporarily repressed with Legos, she was still very frustrated with the whole day’s situation. She’d done everything she knew how to please her mother and JJ’s mother, and still she was being treated like a child and the only one giving her any attention and consideration was a 3-year-old. The impulse to do something to get an adult’s attention came back to her much the same way she’d gotten her mother’s attention over the years by punishing her with wet beds. Betty had put her in pull-ups, ignoring her insistence that she didn’t need them during the day. Yet, she was expected to stay dry and be a big girl even though she was being treated like a little girl with a similar level of consideration.

All of these thoughts were only partially processing in the front of Amy’s head while she continued to plan and build with JJ. She half-consciously decided that it was ok to be a little girl today since no one seemed to think otherwise anyway. She even started hoping her pull-up would leak and Betty would have to clean up the mess. If she complained, Amy would just act the part that Betty was already creating for her.

A few minutes later, the pang of a full bladder returned, and Amy decided to just let it happen. Instead of clamping down when the next wave hit, she made a half-hearted attempt to close off the impending flood. Soon, Amy felt the trickle of her little girl act warming the pull-up. She continued to put roof pieces together and examine the resort, albeit with a slightly distracted, distant look in her eyes that was too subtle for JJ to pick up on. She finished sooner than she expected, and when she moved from her previous spot on the floor, she didn’t notice any wetness, causing a small frown to spread across her face. No matter, it meant more play time with JJ.

It was now 1:00 in the afternoon and Meredith still didn’t have any options for getting her car unlocked. Apparently this handy man was slow as well as free.

She decided to give Betty a call to let her know she was going to try and get her sister-in-law to pick Amy up. The conversation with Betty was short, but the call to her brother and sister-in-law resulted in a 20 minute conversation about family matters before Meredith could even ask for the favor she had called for. When she did, she was frustrated that her sister-in-law made up some far-fetched excuse about her back bothering her and not wanting to drive for a few days. Apparently her brother was with his daughter Tara at some party and couldn’t be torn away from that either, so that left her with two options. Either she waited on the free option, or quickly paid for someone before it became off-hours again. She decided to wait.

Amy had been sitting in a peed pull-up for nearly two hours. Every once in a while she noticed the clammy feeling on her skin, but she ignored it. She’d never worn a wet Goodnite this long after waking up, so the slightly cold and squishy feeling was a new experience. For that matter, the last couple of times she’d woken up wet, she’d actually noticed that, apart from the frustration of wetting beyond her control, she actually found the Goodnite to be almost cozy, and the squishy feeling against her girl parts was oddly…nice. The pull-up had been even squishier since she’d wet it significantly more than her Goodnites, and she’d caught herself wiggling on the floor enjoying the feeling of the soaked pull-up against her. But that feeling was fading the longer she sat there, being replaced with a clammy lump.

She was debating on changing herself, since she was getting uncomfortable and her plan to annoy Betty was starting to seem like less of a good idea. Her teen mind had again failed to think through things and now she couldn’t decide what she should do. Amy was also suspecting that Betty might still be expecting her to continue to babysit free for the day and take care of JJ and any pull-ups he might need, which she hadn’t. She didn’t have any idea what Betty expected as far as her own pull-up. Another few minutes making some patio furniture near the resort pool, and then she’d take care of both their pull-ups.

The cleaning crew had left shortly after 1:00 and it was now nearly 2:00. Betty knew it was going to be a late lunch, but she still felt like serving lunch even if dinner was at 6. She hadn’t checked in on the kids for several hours, but she knew they’d be fine together considering Amy was babysitting after all. This allowed her to enjoy some personal time after the cleaning crew visit. As she was heating up soup, she considered whether or not Amy would be handling JJ’s potty needs considering her own episode. For that matter, she briefly thought to make sure Amy was dry, but she quickly dismissed that thought as silly, realizing the pull-up was really just Amy’s underwear for the day and a remote precautionary measure. She determined to check JJ for herself, however, when she went up to call the kids down for lunch in a few minutes.

The soup was set out on the table to cool and the rest of the table was set including JJ’s booster seat. Heading upstairs, she heard the familiar sound of her son’s giggles and Amy’s chatter indicating the two of them were still very much enjoying the Legos. As she entered the room, they were so focused that it took them a second to even look up at her, but finally JJ bounced with excitement, wanting to tell his mommy about all the amazing things they had built together.

Betty took this opportunity to announce that it was time for a potty break which meant a pull-up check. JJ immediately began to whine.

“I don’t wanna, wanna play pweeeease mommy…” He started picking up Legos, thinking by doing so his mommy would just ignore her previous idea of potty time and move on with life. His 3-year-old hopes were quickly dashed.

“No JJ, it’s time for you to be a good little boy and come to mommy sweetheart.” Betty was caring, but stern.

“I don’t wanna, do Amy first!” He hadn’t meant to throw his best buddy under the bus, but he just had. Amy blushed suddenly, and Betty assumed it was because she was embarrassed that JJ knew about her pull-ups and was pointing it out. However, she also saw a quick opportunity to show JJ that Amy was dry and get back to taking care of her little man who appeared to be wet. Betty stepped up the sugar in what she meant as a show intended for JJ.

“Ok, come here Amy honey, let me check your pull-up to see if you went pee pees.” Betty gave a slight knowing look at Amy, assuming she’d realize it was a show intended for JJ. However, Amy’s reaction was far from what Betty expected.

“No, I’m dry…I didn’t go pee pee Mrs. Chadwick.” Amy knew that came out sounding silly, but she was focusing on not crying or appearing guilty and the events of the morning combined with the last four hours of playing Legos with a 3-year-old and wetting her pull-up had moved her solidly out of her babysitter role. Suddenly she felt every bit the guilty child in a wet pull-up.

“Amy dear it’s ok, I just need to make sure you’re dry…and then you can get right back to playing.” Once again, the show and tone were for JJ’s benefit, but Amy still showed a pouty look of frustration and worry she was unable to hide, despite looking away from Betty and idly keeping her hands busy with Legos.

“Check JJ first, you said you would start with him!” Amy burst out, moments from tears. She was returning the favor to JJ who had ratted her out.

Betty didn’t understand why the girl wasn’t catching on. At this point, she figured she’d have to go check her anyway or JJ would call foul for letting her off, but as soon as Amy was pronounced dry she’d be back to JJ and Amy’s confusion would be cleared up.

Betty moved over to Amy and knelt down beside her, quickly lifting up one edge of the large shirt to reveal the pull-up before Amy could react. When she saw the bulge of a soaked pull-up, the woman was first surprised and then suddenly understanding of why Amy was reacting as she was. Betty wasn’t completely sure what to think of this development, but somehow the jump from bedwetter to pants-wetter wasn’t much of a stretch for her. What she had was a child with a wetting problem, and her mothering was always quick to kick in any time the situation required it.

“Oh dear honey, it seems you did go pee pee. Let’s get you changed Amy.” Betty reached out her hand for the girl to take, but Amy pulled her hand back and folded both her arms in defiance.

“I didn’t go pee pee!” Amy knew it sounded stupid, but for some reason she had to contradict everything this woman was saying.

“Amy dear, I’ve seen many wet diapers and pull-ups, and I know what they look like. I know it’s been a rough day for you and you probably were so focused on playing with JJ that you didn’t notice you had to go so bad, right?”

Desperately needing an out and frustrated at her lack of forethought, Amy’s clouded head saw this as the out she needed. Certainly she couldn’t tell the woman that she could have made it to the bathroom if she had really wanted to. Looking slowly up to Betty with a tear in her eye, she nodded slowly before putting her head back down.

“It’s ok sweetheart, I’m just glad now that I decided to have you wear pull-ups today. Now, are you going to be a big girl and come with me for a change?” Betty wasn’t completely aware of her tone and word choice, but subconsciously she’d further re-categorized Amy and now spoke to her much as she would a child struggling with her potty training.

Amy knew in the back of her mind that something wasn’t right, but she was too lost in the situation to put it all together. Truth be told, she was sick of this clammy diaper. She wanted out of it and Betty was taking her to get changed. As they entered JJ’s room, Betty walked over to the changing table and reached underneath for a fresh pull-up, a tube of cream, and the baby wipes.

“Now honey, I know you know how to do this, so I’ll leave you to it. Make sure you wipe yourself clean and put cream on so you don’t get a rash, ok?”

“Yes ma’am.” Amy answered without much thought and took the objects before looking them over. She’d used them many times for JJ, but never for herself. At this point, it didn’t much matter…she wanted out of this pull-up and she was getting her wish, albeit not in the way she had originally envisioned.

She removed the sodden garment, letting it fall to the floor before grabbing some wipes and cleaning herself. Finally, after applying salve, she opened up the new, dry pull-up and stepped into it. As she was turning to leave, Betty came into the room carrying JJ towards the changing table. Amy continued walking and was almost out of the room when she heard…

“Amy! Is this where we put our dirty pull-ups?” She raised her voice and pointed to the floor where Amy’s wet pull-up had fallen. Amy had meant to pick it up after cleaning herself, but the whole experience was very new for her and she’d forgotten.

“I’m…I’m sorry, I’ll get it.” She moved towards the changing table, but Betty had already grabbed up the used pull-up and added it to the diaper pail.

“It’s ok honey, you did a good job changing yourself after your accident, I’m sorry for yelling at you.” Betty’s frustration quickly subsided and she hoped the small apology would make Amy know she wasn’t angry with her. “Lunch is ready Amy, we’ll be down as soon as we get JJ all cleaned up.”

Amy nodded and headed downstairs. Though only a small bit of praise from Betty, it made Amy feel good to be praised for something in her entire time at the Chadwick house. She entered the dining room and found a spot at the table. Soon, everyone was sitting at the table and they had a relatively uneventful lunch, though Amy certainly enjoyed Betty’s cooking. After lunch, the phone rang and Betty went to answer it. A moment after answering, she covered the phone with her hand, asking Amy to help clean JJ up and indicating that the two of them could go back upstairs and play.

It was Amy’s mom on the phone telling Betty that she’d be over around 5:00 to pick Amy up. After a brief exchange of details over the locked car situation, the conversation ended and Betty went about her household duties. The children played a while longer and at 4:00 Betty went up to check on them. Without the fanfare of last time, she checked JJ who was still dry, but instructed him to use the potty just in case, and she followed him there to help him if he needed it. Once they were back, Betty asked Amy to come into the room she’d slept in for a few moments, leaving JJ to play by himself for a bit.

When they entered, Betty took Amy over to the stripped bed and showed her the cleaned mattress.

“The cleaning crew did a fine job…they said it’s as good as new, so you don’t have to worry.”

“Oh, I’m glad it’s ok…I didn’t want to ruin anything Mrs. Chadwick.”

“I know honey, you couldn’t help it. And I did want to talk to you about a few things. But first, are you dry? Please tell me the truth Amy, I shouldn’t have to check a big girl like you if you have an accident.”

“No, I’m dry…promise.”

“Ok, that’s good to know. Amy honey, I have to be honest that I’m a little concerned about you continuing to babysit JJ after today.” She could see the look of dread and frustration spreading over the girl’s face, just as she added: “But as long as you obey a few rules for me, I think we can allow you to keep watching JJ for now.” Amy’s eyes lit up immediately.

“What’s that?”

“Well, you seem to know that you’re a bedwetter at least since you tried to use one of JJ’s diapers, so I assume you wear diapers at home, is that right?”

“Umm, I wear Goodnites to bed, they’re like pull-ups.”

“Yes honey, I’m familiar with them and they probably fit you better than JJ’s pull-ups, right?”

Amy nodded.

“Ok, well you know the house rules about keeping things in as good or better shape than when you left. So that means we can’t have any accidents on our carpets or furniture. So from now on, if you want to come over to watch JJ, you’ll need be wearing your Goodnites and bringing a change or two in case you have trouble making it to the potty or have to stay overnight.”

Amy wasn’t sure what her parents would think about this, but she was sure they would be hearing about the day’s events anyway, so it seemed like something there was no point in fighting if she could still keep the job.

“I guess that’ll be ok.”

“Very good then, and there’s one more thing I want to make clear. You need to be good about changing yourself if you wet. Check yourself every time you check JJ in case you don’t notice your accident when it happens. You need to make sure you do, because the next time something gets soaked honey…I won’t be able to continue letting you watch JJ.”

“Yes ma’am.” Amy wasn’t thinking too much about the rules, she just wanted to say what she needed to say to keep the job and she now realized just how close her little stunt had been to getting her fired. But at this point, if she’d been told to juggle kittens to keep the job, she’d probably have agreed to it regardless of whether or not she could make good on her promise. Not only did she need the money, but she’d had more fun today than she’d had in months and she didn’t want to give that up either.

“Well then, your mother will be here in 45 minutes, so why don’t you put these on and go play with JJ until she gets here.” Following her direction to the chair in the corner, Amy noticed her jeans and underwear neatly folded and sitting on the chair. Taking the items, she moved to the bathroom to change.

“Oh and Amy, please leave that pull-up on until you leave…just in case, ok sweetie?”

“Ok, yes ma’am.” Again, Amy wasn’t really listening, just acknowledging. She had half a mind to ignore her and leave the pull-up off knowing she wouldn’t have another “accident” today, but with the off-chance that Betty decided to check her, she didn’t want to risk immediately losing the job either.

Soon 5:00 rolled around and Amy was saying her goodbyes to JJ. A few moments after, Amy got into her mother’s car and they headed home. Just as they were merging onto the highway, Meredith broke the silence.

“So honey, did you have any problems with your bedwetting last night?”

1 Like

Re: The Mystery of Disposition

Well I’m hooked!

Re: The Mystery of Disposition

I’m a fan of this story, and as I’ve commented on ADISC it has just the right amount of humiliation, embarrassment, and loss of control. Personally I prefer a slightly kinder person in the caretaker roll, but her parents are nicer about it, so Mrs. Chadwick provides a nice contrast.

I also like that the premise is believable, and it’s internally consistent - sometimes that’s a problem with AB/DL stories.

Re: The Mystery of Disposition

Great story so far

Re: The Mystery of Disposition

Thank you for all of the fine compliments. I’m glad to hear everyone is enjoying the story so far. As always, comments, constructive criticisms, and encouragements are always welcome. :slight_smile:

Chapter 8

“When did I go wrong Trish? I mean seriously, a girl ready to get her driver’s license just peeing herself in the middle of the day?”

“Mere, I feel so bad for her, it sounds like a really rough day and that Chadwick woman doesn’t seem like the most helpful sort.”

“You’re making excuses for her again like you always do. I left her over there for one extra day and she manages to embarrass me by acting like a 4-year-old and making me sit through a lecture by Betty Chadwick yesterday about how I should do this and that differently. For goodness sake, she might as well have said my parenting skills suck. I know I’m far from a saint, but I think I’ve done pretty well by Amy considering.” Meredith’s voice trailed off.

“You’re doing it again Mere.”

“So you do think this is my fault, don’t you?”

“I could name a few things, but we’ve been down that road before.” The other woman paused, then with a serious, placid look, completed her thought. “Meredith, you don’t want to hear what I have to say and you know it.”

“You’re going to tell me how I’ve said many times that I’ve done ok raising Amy and this really means that I’m insecure about it myself. Well maybe if my best friend was a little more supportive then I wouldn’t feel like I have to go around explaining myself. Sometimes it does feel like no one appreciates how hard it is.”

“Well until you realize that not dealing with the root issue causes everything to churn away inside of you making your insecurities worse, we won’t get past this conversation for another 15 years.”

Meredith paused and looked up from her porch surveying a nearby tree seemingly oblivious to her friend’s last statement for what felt like an eternity. However, her response nearly a full minute later revealed that her attention hadn’t drifted.

“The past few weeks I’ve…had nightmares about…her…again. I’ve honestly started thinking, and maybe I should…” Her voice trailing off, Meredith looked at her best friend knowing what the next words would have been, but she was unable to bring herself to say them.

“Go on, say it. Say you need to tell Amy something you should have told her a long time ago. Say you’ve been selfish and didn’t want to deal with your pain all over again so you’ve let that poor girl believe a lie for all these years.” The room carried a distinct air of an argument rehashed a half-dozen times over many years. The two women were friends, very good friends. But Trish was once again trying to share tough love with her friend and pulling no punches in the process.

“You think Amy wants to know the truth? You think this is all about me? How would you know Trisha, when your husband’s been a deacon for years in the church and hasn’t slept with another woman? Another woman! You don’t know what it’s like, you don’t…so you can stop pretending you do.” Meredith was emotional, but still holding herself together. Deep down, she knew her best friend was right that her hesitation to have this conversation with Amy was mainly due to her own fear, but she’d always managed to convince herself in the past that she was protecting Amy and even now she had begun to slip back into that tired old explanation. Trish wasn’t buying it.

“I don’t have to be cheated on to know how horrible that would be or how much pain that caused you. But you’ve pitied yourself long enough and ignoring what happened has only caused you undue stress and hurt your relationship with Amy.”

“I don’t believe what I’m hearing. So Amy’s bedwetting and now this pants wetting episode are somehow my fault? Please Trish. I know you love her and you’ve been hounding me for years to tell her what happened, but that’s not causing her issues. She’s always marched to the beat of her own drum and sometimes I think she’s in her own world more than she’s in this one so I’ve got to make her toe the line or she’ll never make it in life and she’ll turn out like…” Her voice trailing off briefly, she quickly shifted the subject back a step. “I’ve tried to raise her as best I could, but Lord knows she’s got the crazy gene in there somewhere.”

“Lana wasn’t crazy. You demonize her because of what happened, but I met the girl, and she wasn’t crazy. Distraught, hopeless, and very insecure is what she was. But wouldn’t you be if your husband tied you up, ranted at you for 30 minutes blaming you for all his problems and then finally killed himself right in front of you? That girl went through hell and back and her poor husband was so screwed up in the head from combat stress that he didn’t know what he was saying half the time.” Trish took Meredith’s hands in hers and squeezed, showing her love for her friend was still strong despite the hard words she felt the need to share once again.

“I still hate her Trish. I know it’s wrong, but I do.” A single tear slowly began to trickle down from Meredith’s left eye as the emotional waves finally broke and the shoreline of mascara began to drift slowly along with the tear.

“I know, and you have to forgive her Mere, you just can’t keep holding onto this. It makes you bitter and makes you resent Amy for who she is. It makes you feel the need to prove you’re a better mother who can protect her from the big bad world, while still feeling the need to compete against her for your husband’s affections because you’ve also never forgiven him for falling to the temptation of the moment.” Firmly grasping both of her friend’s hands, Trish’s gaze met Meredith’s as she finally said, “I love you, and this is why you must let this go Mere. You must forgive Lana and David. Pray about it at least, will you?”

“What is there to pray about? I know I should forgive everyone that’s wronged me, but it’s easy for God to tell people to do things when he’s perfect. I’m not perfect, and today I’m definitely not ready for that.” Meredith had nearly regained her composure and managed to matter-of-factly justify her current state of bitterness to herself once again.

“So you know you’re wrong, you don’t want to pray for God to change you, and you’re ok with that. Sounds really dangerous to me Mere, and I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes when you tell God that.” Trish’s disappointment and frustration were evident, but she backed off realizing that badgering her friend wouldn’t change a thing.

“Why don’t you pray that God will fix all the stuff that’s wrong with my life?” Meredith shared a weak, half-hearted smile back to her friend.

“I almost feel guilty praying that, but I’ll do my best to genuinely keep you in my prayers. And don’t let those dreams go by without considering maybe that’s a sign you’re supposed to finally tell her.”

“I’m thinking about it Trish, don’t worry.” Her smile was almost genuine, but still carried enough of a forceful hint that her friend knew major issues still remained for another day’s chat.

“Well Mere, thanks for the tea. I haven’t had darjeeling in quite a while and that hit the spot.”

“Glad you liked it, I’ll get you a few bags to take home with you.” Meredith retrieved the tea for her friend from the kitchen before seeing her off with a somewhat forced hug.

A few moments later Meredith was checking the clock to see how much time she had left before picking up Amy from babysitting.

It was nearly 4pm and Amy was quite ready to be done with this kid. Mandy was a whiny and moody 5-year-old whom Amy had agreed to watch on short notice for the afternoon by reference of one of her more steady clients. This child, however, would try the patience of any babysitter. Whereas JJ was a pleasure to watch, and even gave Amy secret enjoyment in playing with him, Mandy was a hassle and made Amy work for every penny she earned. She couldn’t wait to have her mother pick her up and rescue her from this girl.

Thinking of her mother brought her back to the thoughts she’d been replaying in her mind for the past two days since the incident on the ride home from the Chadwicks’. After telling her mother about the bedwetting, Meredith had asked too many questions for which Amy had insufficient answers before Meredith got the whole story including how Amy managed without underwear most of the day. But the conversation hadn’t taken a serious turn for the worse until Amy decided she’d better tell her mother about the “accident” since her mother had just finished mentioning that Betty was going to call her to fill her in at some point and Amy assumed it would be worse to let her mother hear about it that way.

The rest of the ride home consisted of a series of exchanges between the two. Meredith began with the always-trustworthy “Let’s get one thing straight little girl” line and ended by telling her that her father was going to hear about all of what happened and then he would find out how childish his daughter really was. For her part, Amy made sure Meredith knew that she blamed her mother’s lack of foresight in leaving her at the Chadwicks’ for the entire situation to begin with. The two of them didn’t speak a single word to each other until the next morning when they got up for church and even then engaged in only limited conversation.

“Amy! Ammmmmy-ee-ee, I want ice cream!” Mandy’s whines broke her out of her thoughts temporarily.

“You’re not getting ice cream Mandy, we’ve already talked about this three times today. Ice cream is not a before dinner thing.” Amy knew that wouldn’t totally shut her up, but she still had to say it.

“But why not, I want it! Mommy gives me ice cream! You’re mean, I’m telling mommy!” The little girl made a dramatic exit by crossing her arms, huffing loudly, and then stomping off towards the play room. Again, Mandy’s attempts at guilting and threatening Amy fell on deaf ears. At this point, Amy didn’t really care if Mandy liked her or not, merely that she didn’t get into anything or hurt herself while Amy was there.

Less than 30 minutes later, Mandy’s parents arrived followed shortly by Meredith. The adults had their brief, cordial exchanges and Amy was thanked, paid, and relieved of her shift as juvenile warden.

As they pulled out of the driveway, Amy had to exclaim her frustration, even if she didn’t expect all that much sympathy from her mother. “I’m glad that’s over with, Mandy is a handful and just so whiny. I hope I wasn’t like that!” Amy added, hoping to hear that she was never that annoying to her own mother.

“Well honey, every kid goes through some amount of whining, but I would say you did have a period where yours was pretty bad around age 4 or 5. Thankfully I loved you enough to discipline that out of you.” Meredith added with an almost forced smile that Amy interpreted as her mother’s real attitude towards disciplining her in those former years or perhaps residual frustration from last Saturday. She couldn’t be sure where her mother’s mood swings came from, so she was resigned to wonder.

“Uhh, thanks, I’m sorry I guess?” Amy didn’t know what the appropriate response was to what had now become a somewhat awkward conversation.

“It’s part of being a mother…” Her voice trailed off as she suddenly began pondering the conversation she’d had earlier with Trish. Then suddenly she remembered that she had something to tell Amy that she figured would put a smile on her daughter’s face, though not immediately.

“So Betty called and told me all about what happened.” She saw Amy’s gaze in the rear view mirror sink slightly. “Don’t worry, she didn’t actually have much bad to say about you at all actually. She seems to think it’s all my fault that I’m such a bad mother.” The fake grin re-appeared.

Amy was both encouraged to hear that Mrs. Chadwick didn’t hate her, but she also felt bad that her mother was being accused of something by some other person outside the family. As much as she had disagreements with her mother, she still loved her and didn’t want other people attacking her.

“Mom you know she’s just a little odd.” Amy smiled, hoping some humor would lighten the mood.

“Yeah, I know. Anyway, the other thing is that apparently JJ has been asking about you and yesterday wouldn’t stop begging Betty to have you come over. So Betty was wondering if you’d mind coming over a couple of days this week just to play with him even though she’ll be at the house. She promised that you wouldn’t have to deal with him at all and she’d still pay you half of the normal amount. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t just take care of him for her if she’s paying you at all, but I guess that’s her call.”

Some part of Amy leaped with excitement inside that her little buddy missed her and wanted her to come and give him some attention. However, she was somewhat slighted that it seemed Betty was perhaps questioning her responsibility. Still it was money and she was sure she’d have a blast playing with JJ either way.

“Yeah, I guess I can do that.” Amy added, careful to not seem to excited at the prospect of playing with a 3-year-old.

“Alright, I’ll let her know then. Also, apparently you two made some sort of deal? She said to remember not to break it.” Amy’s thoughts of what she would be wearing were a confusing mix of frustration and intrigue. She didn’t understand what she was feeling, but the immediate result was far less trepidation than she’d previously imagined.

“Yeah, umm, she said her husband freaks about messes so she wanted me to bring some Goodnites.” Amy hoped her mother wouldn’t ask too many more questions or connect the dots that she was actually talking about daytime use.

“Also, don’t forget next week camp starts.” Apparently her mother didn’t care to think about it or at the very least declined to probe further.

“Yeah, I didn’t forget.” Amy was happy for the change in topic.

“I want you to get your stuff together early in the week so you’re ready to head out by Saturday night, alright?”

“Yeah I’ll be ready.” Amy said without thinking much about what she was answering to. Camp was curiously the furthest thing from her mind.

Re: The Mystery of Disposition

With no comments on this last chapter, I hope people aren’t losing interest. In any case, I have a couple of chapters in the works and I hope that will drum up some interest from those who have already enjoyed it.

Re: The Mystery of Disposition

I love this

1 Like

Re: The Mystery of Disposition

This is one of my favorite stories on the forum so don’t think interest is lost.

Re: The Mystery of Disposition

I am definitely looking forward to more.

Re: The Mystery of Disposition

I didn’t want to necrobump the thread, but I really like the story!

The pacing and dialogue are really what stand out to me as the best bits. You also a have great sentence and paragraph structure. None of the details are mind-numbingly boring.

Keep up the good work!