The Leafless Tree - Chapter 4: Drake

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The Leafless Tree - Chapter 4: Drake

thanks haha.

The Leafless Tree - Chapter 4: Drake

It was good, but it was all a bit quick. Perhaps you could have spread the action a little? You killed two major characters and you can’t really afford to lose them at such a rate!

Also, phrases such as the last sentence need careful treatment in order to avoid a certain sense of bad-movie-tackiness. I think you haven’t quite got the tone yet for that concluding sentence.

The rest on the other hand, is quite good.

The Leafless Tree - Chapter 4: Drake

Ok am I the only person on here who saw that this was the end of the story? A least I think so. Also im plum confused what did u mean when u said her mothers blood washed over her

The Leafless Tree - Chapter 4: Drake

It’s not the end AT ALL, haha. THis is only the beginning. Also, your blood is your mother’s blood, so when her blood flowed over her body, she felt a spiritual connection to her mother

The Leafless Tree - Chapter 4: Drake

ok well if you can keep it getting better when you have killed of half the charachters you’re definetly a great author. I get the blood thing now to. Also one last thing. This is just a theory I have but I get the feeling that maybe the girl in the story isn’t the fathers daughter am I way off

The Leafless Tree - Chapter 4: Drake

Carnage, blood, and death.
Don’t bother me. I’m reading.

Note: The proceeding line was based off of an old Carles Jr. commercial which some may and some may not recognize.

This is a very well-written story. I can’t help but to associate Caroline with Calliope’s character Erin. There are many similarities in their childhood traumas.
Also, I thought I would never say this about anyone, ever, but I am SO! Glad Daddy Dearest is finally dead, and therefore unable to hurt anyone anymore.
So much for Father’s Day…