The Girl at the Bar, (Ch 3 up!)

The girl at the bar
By, Orion (pollyjolly123)

Chapter 1

My name is Dan Shine and I am a Federal Agent. I work for a small division of the Secret Service. I had the weekend off so I decided to take a night on the town. Being in Chicago, my hometown, I went to one of the hottest clubs where the bouncers knew me and would let me in for free. As I walked in, the music was loud and the bass was pounding my eardrums. This is what I live for, this is the reason I stated the promotions company in college that now serves as the front for my Secret Service cover. As I walked into the main room, I did a quick scan of the room, locating all the exits and best locations to take cover behind, a habit I picked up from my Secret Service training.

That’s when I noticed her; she was standing at the bar. Something about her caught me eye. Her back was to me so I took the opportunity to scan her with my eyes. She looked amazing, her platinum blond hair hung down to her shoulders. She was wearing a very sexy white top that accentuated her body. As my eyes moved down to the top of her jeans, I marveled at her curves, she looked about 125lbs 5’10", but then again, she was wearing heals. It didn’t take me long to realize that this girl was way out of my league. I was 6’0" 250lbs, but I was pretty in shape despite my size. As soon as I admitted to myself that I didn’t have a chance in hell with her, she dropped her purse as she was paying the bartender. I started walking over and bent over the grab her purse for her, it was partially open, as I went to grab it, she bent down at the same time, our hands touched as we both reached for the purse, and instantly we both withdrew, and looked into each other’s eyes.

“I’m sorry, I saw you drop your purse so I came over to pick it up and give it to you. You know, the chivalrous thing to do.” I said to her.
She smiled, I looked back down and grabbed her purse. Then I saw it, in her purse, it was white with cartoons on it. At first it didn’t hit me what it could be, but then I realized, it was a large baby diaper! Large enough to easily fit this girl. I quickly closed the purse and stood up and handed it to her, pretending I saw nothing. My mind was flooding with ideas about why she would have that in her purse.

“Thanks for being such a gentleman…” She started.

“I’m Dan” I interrupted, We shook hands. She smiled again, this time bigger than the last time. I smiled back at her, then I turned to the bartender, “one Heineken please, put in on the company tab.”

“Yes sir, Mr. Shine” The bartender responded.

I looked at the girl again to gage her reaction to the exchange with the bartender. She continued, “My name is Kate. Company tab?” She tilted her head to the side as she asked about the tab.

“I’m the CEO of a promotions company that does business with this club.” I responded. She smiled again, signifying that she understood that I must have good connections to be able to promote at the hottest nightclub in Chicago. I was so nervous, but my training taught me how to not show, I was trained to withstand torture, but I was still horrible with girls. It also didn’t help that I was younger than most people in the same scenes I hung out in, at 22 I was something of a prodigy, owning a company and having worked for the Secret Service now for 2 years. The biggest problem with trying to meet girls at clubs is that most of them were older than me and most girls don’t like younger guys, even if I was smarter and more mature than any of the guys their age.

“I love this place, I come here at least every weekend.” I said, trying to strike up a conversation.

“Oh? This is my first time here, but I really like it!” she responded.

“Do you have any usual places you like to go out?” I asked.

“Actually, I just turned 21 a few weeks ago, so I just started going out, I seems like a lot of the people here are a bit older though.”

“That’s ok, I’m only 22. Personally I don’t mind the older crowd, because there usually are a good number of people our age here anyway. Also it will give smart people like us a chance to grow into the scene so that when our peers discover it we will be able to show them up.”

She laughed at my last statement. " I never thought of it that way."

I noticed that in the span of our short conversation that she finished her Midori Sour.

“Want to go dance?” she suddenly asked me with a big smile.

“Sure but I have to warn you, I’m not very good at dancing.” Another thing they forgot to teach us in agent training.

“That’s ok, I’m sure you know how to grind.” She replied with another smile and she grabbed my and dragged me to the dance floor.

to be continued

Re: The Girl at the Bar, a new story by Orion

a very good start, I hope you explain more about Kate in the next chapter, and I am glad you posted this fantastic story here.

Re: The Girl at the Bar, a new story by Orion

Good start. You can write description and this is probably not your first attempt at writing since high school. All you need to do is work on length, but that will come with additional postings.

Re: The Girl at the Bar, a new story by Orion

Thanks guys, yeah, I do a lot of academic writing, I haven’t written creatively since high school, Im working on the next part now, I’ll try and make it longer.

Re: The Girl at the Bar, a new story by Orion

Not bad; easy to read and to the point.
I’ll keep it on my follow up list.

Re: The Girl at the Bar, a new story by Orion

Chapter 2

I never met a girl as into me as Kate seemed to be. I trotted behind her to the dance floor. Usually, I am not a forward person, but for some reason, tonight I felt different, impulsive. Against my usual fear of offending a girl, I used the opportunity of her hand grabbing mine and pulled her towards me in way that she twirled around so that she was facing me, our bodies pressed against each other, I gave her a quick smile, then twirled her around again so that her back was to me. I put my arms on her stomach and gently pulled her toward me so that our bodies were in contact again. We started moving our bodies to the beat of the music, letting ourselves move freely. She leaned her head back onto my shoulder, her eyes closed, mouth slightly open. Her shining blonde hair rubbing on my neck, I could tell she was enjoying herself.

As song as after song passed we continued to dance together. I could not stop thinking about the diaper I saw in her purse. Why was it there? Is it for her? The questions just kept popping up in my head, my curiosity was eating at me, I had to know why she had them. I couldn’t just ask her; that would be devastating to anything the two of us could possibly have together. I made a decision; I started to move my hands down her sides to the top of her jeans. She didn’t mind, in fact she took my hands and moved them the top of the front of her jeans. As we continued to dance I slowly moved my hands down towards her crotch. I was so torn inside part of me was telling me to stop, but I was so curious about the diapers in the purse I wanted to try and feel if she was wearing one. Just as I was about to move my hands farther down, she whispered in my ear.
“I want you!” She whispered in a very sexy tone.

Once again I tool the initiative and spun her around to face me, before I knew it we were kissing. I put my arms around her, and he did the same. Soon the kissing turned into making out. I felt her hands move down my back towards my butt. I did the same thing. That’s when I felt it, the soft faint bulge of a dry diaper. I’m starting to like this girl already! After our make out session in the middle of the dance floor I looked at my iPhone to see what time it was.

“Wow, its already 1:45 am, do you want to go somewhere else?” I asked Kate.

She put her index finger to her lips and tilted her head to the side in thought. “Sure, lets go get something to eat.” She responded.

“Have anything in mind?”

“Not really”

“Ok, lets go then.” I took her hand and walk out of the club, to the valet stand.

“Oh, you drove here?” She sounded surprised.

“Yeah, don’t worry, I didn’t drink anything other than that one beer an hour and a half ago.” I smiled at her. She smiled back at me. The valet had already gone to get my car as soon as he saw me leave the club. Soon my beautiful Mercedes SL 500 Roadster pulled up in front of me, it was a gift from my father after I started my company.

Kate was shocked at the car in front of her. “Dan, is this your car?”

“Yes.” I responded as I opened the door for her. Her face lit up as she got into the sports car.

“This car costs over $100,000!” She exclaimed.

Instead of responding, I let the 5 liter V8 do the talking. I shifted into neutral and revved the engine. I could tell that Kate had an appreciation for cars. We drove around trying to find something to eat.

to be continued

sorry its shorter, I have a ton of work to do this weekend.

Re: The Girl at the Bar, a new story by Orion

Apart from a couple of spelling mistakes that can be easily fixed, you 're doing a good crescendo.

Re: The Girl at the Bar, a new story by Orion

I fixed one spelling mistake, let me know if I missed anything.

Re: The Girl at the Bar, a new story by Orion

Lmao if they had made me fix my spelling mistakes I would have written one story instead of over a hundred.

I am loving your story and loving the way you write. I only have one question? You say this guy is secret service, am I wrong or does the secret service only have one job. Aka protect the president his family past presidents and there familys. How does this work with his owning a company.

Feel free to correct me if I am wrong


Re: The Girl at the Bar, a new story by Orion

I’m pretty sure Secret Service has two main jobs, protecting government VIPs and working for the US treasury to find counterfeiters and money launderers. Dan works in the latter division investigating the nightlife industry for signs of fraud. Although in later chapters he will doing the other role as well.

Re: The Girl at the Bar, a new story by Orion

Stopping counterfeiters is what most Secret Service people do. In fact Lincoln who started the Secret Service was guarded by Pinkerton Security Guards, not Secret Service.

Re: The Girl at the Bar, a new story by Orion

No, its mine, I go by orion on some other forums, and just didn’t bother changing it. Sorry.

Re: The Girl at the Bar, a new story by Orion

Keep the story going.

Re: The Girl at the Bar, a new story by Orion

I do have to say, this story is off to a very good start. I can’t wait to see where it goes.
thus far, I have no criticism (though I admit, I tend to be much better at praise unless there are obviously flaws)

Re: The Girl at the Bar, (Ch 3 coming soon!)

I’m sorry for the delay guys, I should have chapter 3 finished by the end of the weekend.

Re: The Girl at the Bar, (Ch 3 coming soon!)

Well, we all delay our stories. Life and Death was supposed to be completed at the end of October. We can wait long enough for you to write a good next chapter 3. Keep working at it.

Re: The Girl at the Bar, (Ch 3 coming soon!)

Wow, I want to see this! I hope you continue ^^

Re: The Girl at the Bar, (Ch 3 coming soon!)

Why are so many stories with promise never finished? This story has An amazing start! I want to see what happens but am not sure I will ever have that pleasure it being two years since this was posted which is really so sad…… This story had real potential!

Re: The Girl at the Bar, (Ch 3 coming soon!)

You might get lucky. The author visited the forum a couple days ago.

I don’t remember reading this story when it was originally posted, but I’m liking it so far.

Re: The Girl at the Bar, (Ch 3 coming soon!)

I actually forgot about this story, the first two chapters were a dream I had, and well…thats why I never finished it. I’ll see if I can get a third chapter done this week, I have a lot of work, but I’ll continue if there’s a demand.