The Experiment (Updated 12/15)

The Experiment
by Bluebell

As Professor Milton began walking around the classroom handing back the final tests, Audrey bit her lip in barely disguised terror. She crossed her fingers on both hands, as if this small superstitious act might somehow mitigate the blow she was sure to come. When Professor Milton got to her, he slid her paper face-down onto the desk with what Audrey thought was unwarranted deliberateness, as though making a point to the whole class that he didn’t want to reveal Audrey’s grade, thereby confirming its status as awful.

Audrey almost couldn’t bear to turn the paper over. She was afraid of what she was going to find on the opposite side. Whether or not she was able to pass Psychology was dependent upon this test—she and her friend Lilah had done the math; Audrey needed at least an 85 on this test to have a chance at passing. Based on her track record in this class, achieving that would be nothing short of a miracle. She could not see through the upside-down paper on her desk, so she braced herself for the inevitable. Her face flushed with anxiety, Audrey turned the paper over. She was subsequently greeted by a large, fat 67.

Involuntarily, the tears rose and stung behind Audrey’s eyes. She had always known, deep down, that she was a fool for pursing her dream of being an art therapist. This first semester at college had confirmed that for her. From day one, psychology had been a monumental struggle and, try as she might, she always seemed to screw up multitudes of little things, forgetting a fact here or there, resulting in subpar grades. She had dug herself into a hole that, finally, was too deep to escape. Through her swimming vision Audrey noticed Lilah, who sat next to her, glancing over at her paper with an infuriating curiosity. Quickly she stuffed the test paper into her backpack, gleaning a scintilla of pleasure as it crumpled. It was extinguished, however, in a sudden rush of annoyance.

Of course Lilah had gotten a wonderful grade. She always did. Audrey and Lilah bonded whilst complaining about Psych homework, and had subsequently become friends. Audrey, however, had never been able to get over the extreme irritation she felt whenever Lilah outshone her—which was pretty much always. And now Lilah would be continuing on as a Psych major while Audrey would wind up flipping burgers for the rest of her life. Then again, the one time her dad had asked her to help with the barbecue, she had set the picnic table ablaze, so she probably wasn’t even talented enough for a burger flipping gig.

Audrey tried to fight back her tears. She hated crying in public. Not only did it make her face go blotchy and her nose run like a river, but it also announced to everyone that she was a failure. Thankfully, class was now over, and no one paid her much mind as they poured out of the stuffy little classroom. Some gave her concerned looks as they passed, but most ignored her completely. Audrey was glad for that. Sympathy might just do her in at this point, because her situation was beyond help. All grades were final. She had failed.

Audrey dawdled, taking an unnecessarily long time to pack up her Psychology stuff. For the last time, she thought bitterly, and a fresh stream of tears threatened to fall anew. She wanted to be the last one out of the room so that she had to encounter as few people as possible. She didn’t want to hear startled queries as to what was wrong, or why she was crying. She didn’t want to face the answer.

As Audrey swung her backpack over her shoulder and turned to leave, she heard a voice.

“Wait,” said Lilah.

A stab of anger went through Audrey, but was quickly replaced by a heavy, hopeless feeling. This was not Lilah’s fault. This was due to her own ineptitude.

“What?” She answered tremulously. Aware that a rivulet of snot was leaking from her nose, she surreptitiously wiped it on the sleeve of her cardigan. She realized how pathetic she must look.

“You’re a mess. What’s wrong?” Lilah’s head was tilted in concern, her wavy black hair spilling from under her ski cap.

“Oh, not much,” said Audrey thickly. “Besides the fact that I failed Psych and now my entire effing life is ruined.” Her voice broke on the last word, and she furiously brushed away a tear that threatened to fall. Dammit, she was already a failure. She didn’t need to add “emotionally unstable” to the list.

Lilah pulled Audrey into a reassuring hug. “Oh Audrey…I’m sorry! I can’t say I know how you feel…”

“Thanks,” Audrey mumbled into Lilah’s shoulder. “You always know exactly what to say.” She rather though she got some snot on Lilah’s sweater by accident.

Lilah laughed. “I’m sorry, that’s not how I meant it. But I do think you’re overreacting.”

“I don’t know, from where I stand, things seem pretty sucky.”

“Why don’t you talk to Professor Milton? He’s a reasonable guy, and he definitely doesn’t want anyone to fail,” Lilah suggested earnestly. “I visit his office whenever I have questions on anything, and he’s never been anything but helpful.”

“You sound like an advertisement,” Audrey said. She didn’t see how visiting Professor Milton would make anything better. He had made very clear on the syllabus that all grades were final. She didn’t see what he could do about her plight. If anything, the finality that would result from a visit to his office would sink her spirits into the negative realm. She relayed this to Lilah.

“Well, he wouldn’t be telling you anything you don’t already know,” she said frankly. “Give it a shot.” She smiled toothily at Audrey. “After all, if you and I weren’t classmates anymore, who would I complain to?”

And so Tuesday afternoon found Audrey rapping her knuckles timidly on Professor Milton’s door. She had never visited him outside of class (which, she had to admit to herself, was a contributing factor to her lackluster performance) and was slightly nervous. She always felt extremely awkward and self-conscious when talking to people she didn’t know very well.

“Come in,” She heard the professor’s gruff voice issue from behind the gleaming wooden door. Upon entering the office, Audrey’s was shocked. Haphazard mountains of white papers and other random office paraphernalia covered every horizontal surface, looking as though a tornado had obliterated an Office Depot and dumped its contents everywhere. She had imagined him to be an orderly guy, based on his lectures, but the teetering Everest of papers swaying ominously on the edge of his desk told a different story.

“Pull up a seat,” he said kindly, gesturing to a wooden chair in the corner. It too had been deluged in an avalanche of books and papers. She tentatively deposited them on the floor and scooted the chair up to face the desk. “Advanced Psych papers,” he explained, misinterpreting Audrey’s worried glance at the precarious stack. “Got a ton of them to grade, and only three days left until break! I guess my students have been rubbing off on me,” he said with a good-natured guffaw. In light of her situation, Audrey did not find the joke particularly funny.

“So, what can I do for you, Audrey?” Professor Milton asked, putting down his red pen and placing the tips of his fingers together inquisitively.

“Well, you see, sir,” she gabbled, aware that her throat was going dry. “I, um…haven’t been doing so well in Psych as you…you probably noticed. I needed to get an 85 on the last test to even have a shot at passing and, well…I didn’t get it.” Her face burned red with shame. “I was wondering if there was, y’know…something I could do…”

“To not fail?” Professor Milton supplied.

Audrey nodded, willing her stupid face to go back to its normal color.

“Well,” said Professor Milton, “as you already know, once a grade is in the gradebook, it is final. We had at least one student that got a perfect score, so there won’t be a curve—”

Dammit Lilah!

“But,” he continued, “since you took the initiative to come to my office and talk to me about this, I think I can arrange something.”

“Really?” Audrey’s excitement was building.

“Yes, really,” Professor Milton smiled genially, his glasses winking cheerfully in the sunlight that streamed from the cluttered window. “You remember what we’ve been discussing recently in class?”

“Social experiments. Stanford Prison Experiment, stuff like that,” Audrey said promptly.

“Here’s what I propose. If you design your own social experiment and document your results, I would be willing to give some extra credit. Thanksgiving break is just a few days away…I daresay that’ll give you enough time to complete this project.”

Audrey could hardly believe her luck. “Thank you!” she gushed, smiling for the first time since she had seen that awful red 67 adorning her test paper.

Professor Milton simply smiled in reply. “Have it to me by midnight the day we get back from break,” he informed her.

“I will!” Audrey said, grinning widely. “Have a good afternoon, Professor!” She shouted over her shoulder as she left the office.

She practically danced down the hallway. Lilah had been right, and this time, Audrey didn’t mind. She scurried off to tell her the news.


“Your own social experiment, huh?” Lilah chewed a mouthful of Goldfish thoughtfully. “Sounds like it could be fun.”

“Yeah, it does,” Audrey said unenthusiastically. When she had first delivered the news to Lilah she had been ecstatic, but her amazement at her good fortune had been dampened by the realization that she had no idea what kind of experiment she was going to do, and what was more, she had only three days to figure it out.

“You’ve really convinced me,” Lilah joked. She was laying on her stomach on her bed, chin propped up on the heels of her hands. Audrey shifted in her beanbag chair to a more comfortable position.

“It’s just that if I don’t think of something fast, I’m going to blow this opportunity. I’m tired of blown opportunities. What I need is some inspiration,” Audrey said, glancing around the messy dorm room as if a brilliant idea were going to crawl out from under the crumpled pile of discarded leggings in the corner.

"Well, said Lilah, searching idly in the Goldfish package with one hand, “you can’t exactly do something as grandiose as the ones we talked about in class, so…think simple.”

“I should be good at that,” Audrey mumbled to herself.

“Hm?”

“Nothing,” Audrey sighed. She rubbed her eyes and stifled a yawn. The emotional rollercoaster of the past two days had left her exhausted. “I still have two days left to figure something out. I’ll just keep my eyes peeled.”

“You sound like you could use a little pick-me-up,” Lilah said. She grabbed the remote from her bedside table and switched on the television. “Let’s see if there’s anything good on. It’s November, so they’re probably already showing Christmas stuff.”

“All right.” Audrey yawned again. “I might fall asleep, just warning you.”

Sure enough, after flipping through a few channels, Lilah found a showing of Elf that was just beginning. Elf was one of Audrey’s favorite movies—she basically knew it by heart. It just wasn’t Christmas until you had seen Elf forty-seven times.

As the intro played, Papa Elf explained Santa’s disastrous attempts at finding suitable helpers before he settled on elves. “They tried using gnomes and trolls,” Papa Elf said, “but the gnomes drank too much. And the trolls weren’t toilet trained.”

Audrey chuckled as a memory rose in her mind. “Me and my sister used to lose it at that part,” she told Lilah. “It seems silly now, but when we were nine years old that was comedy gold.”

“Like your sense of humor is so sophisticated now,” Lilah teased.

The two girls lapsed back into silence as they watched the glowing screen. Suddenly, in a pensive, tentative voice quite unlike the jovial one she had been using minutes ago, Lilah broke the silence. “But that’s an interesting idea.”

“What now?” Audrey said. She had been nodding off.

“Not being toilet trained.” Lilah spoke casually, but her cheeks were tinged slightly pink. Audrey, however, wasn’t looking at her friend.

“What are you even talking about?”

“As a social experiment. What if, say…someone pretended not to be toilet trained and wore diapers, to see how other people would react?”

Audrey continued to watch the screen, her tired brain puzzled as to why Lilah would be thinking about this. “That’d be weird,” she said.

A brief silence followed. Finally Lilah said, “Yeah, it would, wouldn’t it?” and laughed. It was an oddly flat laugh, and it died out quickly. The room once again fell into silence, this time awkward rather than complacent. Audrey, however, didn’t notice. She had fallen asleep.


Later that evening, Lilah sat at her desk, feeling distinctly worse that she had before her impromptu nap. She still had no idea what kind of experiment she wanted to do, and what was more, she had a strange lingering feeling of guilt that had been plaguing her ever since leaving Lilah’s room. Lilah had seemed cheery enough, smiling as she bade Audrey goodnight, but Audrey knew her well enough to know when something was off. Her smile had been faux and her face had still been rather pink when Audrey had left her.

Racking her brains, Audrey could only think of one possible reason that might have caused Lilah to be upset with her. She had dismissed her proposed experiment idea as “weird.” But that couldn’t be the reason for Lilah’s strange behavior. It didn’t make any sense. Why would she be upset about that? Lilah was a jokester. That had been just another one of her amusing throw-away comments…hadn’t it?

But what if it hadn’t? What if Lilah had genuinely been trying to help her, and was now angry with her for waving it away without a second thought? But that didn’t really make sense. Lilah didn’t get offended that easily. There was something Audrey was missing…or, perhaps, something she was refusing to see. She allowed herself to dwell on a theory that had been roiling in her mind for the past few hours. What if Lilah had been posing the statement in such a casual manner so that she could hear Audrey’s honest opinion on the matter? Audrey had given a less-than-positive response, and now Lilah was acting off. The more Audrey thought about it, the more she realized it could not be a coincidence. That must mean the idea Lilah had put forth had personal implications. Which must mean…

Audrey did not feel repulsed or weirded out. She merely felt guilty. She usually tried her best to be open-minded and nonjudgmental, but it seemed that in this one crucial instance she had failed. To be honest, she hadn’t even really stopped to ponder the idea. In fact, she had, underneath her exhaustion, been worried that anything other than the response she gave would make Lilah think she was weird or gross. Audrey hadn’t even considered Lilah at that point; she had been focused entirely on herself. Now she had wounded her friend in a place she hadn’t even known existed.

Figures, Audrey chastised herself. A failure and narcissistic to boot. I’m quite the package, aren’t I?

But now Audrey paused to consider Lilah’s idea. The more Audrey thought on it, the more intrigued she became. Wearing diapers would certainly elicit a strong reaction from her family and friends, just what she wanted for her paper.But was she really willing to go that far? Having to expose her diapered state to her family and friends would be horribly embarrassing, but she had no better ideas. Plus…Audrey found something oddly alluring about the idea of being back in diapers. Even the thought of the embarrassment wearing diapers would incur inexplicably excited her. She was suddenly overwhelmed by a burning curiosity. What would it be like? She had no memories of her diapered days. She no longer recalled what it felt like to be completely at the mercy of her own bodily functions. All these things she had forgotten and never once had she dreamed she’d want to remember them…and yet….

An involuntary shiver passed over her body. She glanced over her shoulder, as though afraid someone might be standing behind her, looking into her mind and reading her thoughts. There was no one there, of course; her roommate had a night class on Tuesday that she always complained about. Audrey was alone.

She pulled out her laptop and logged onto the internet. She deliberated for a moment, as though hypnotized by the little flashing cursor in the search bar, before typing out:

adult diapers

Her heart beat a tattoo against her ribs as she scrolled through the search results. She hadn’t realized how many different brands there were. She explored several links, reading reviews, looking at sizes, her excitement mounting all the while. It was almost as if she were on a strange sort of high.

After a few minutes, Audrey came across a site adorned with a photo of a bright red package of diapers. Tranquility, read the fancy white font. She selected a size of Extra Small and browsed through the different options. A single pack of ten would be too small for a week, she realized, so she selected three of the ten packs for a total of thirty diapers. Audrey was oblivious to how much the diapers cost and so, upon clicking Add to Cart, she was shocked to see her total. The estimated delivery with standard shipping was four to seven business days…she didn’t have that long. She was leaving on Friday. Reluctantly, she selected the grossly expensive overnight shipping. Thank goodness she had had a paying job that summer. She could almost feel the pangs from her wallet, but it would be worth it to save her Psychology grade…and, hopefully, repair the link with Lilah that she had inadvertently severed.

For the first time since she had begun her excursion, Audrey froze, her mouse poised over the Confirm Order button. Her hand shook slightly as she considered her actions. This was the point of no return. Was she really going to do this? She very nearly decided to cancel the order, but then a sudden rush of guilt washed over her. She couldn’t explain it, but in some weird way she felt she owed it to Lilah to go through with this. It would definitely provide her with adequate material on which to write a thorough paper. Also…she could not deny the thrill that was building up in her chest, making her breathing quick and shallow. She could tell that if she backed out now, the burning curiosity would still linger, making her wonder “what if?” A golden opportunity she hadn’t even known she’d wanted had fallen into her lap. She’d be crazy not to take it. Or maybe she was crazy because she was taking it. Either way, it didn’t matter. Before she knew what she was doing, Audrey had clicked Confirm Order, and a happy little message appeared, informing her that her package would arrive tomorrow by noon. The deed was done. Closing out her browser as if in a trance, Audrey pulled out her phone. She was going to make things right. She texted Lilah these words:

Meet me sometime tomorrow afternoon. I’ve got something to tell you.

to be continued

Re: The Experiment

The way the whole thing was trending, I was almost expecting the professor to coerce her into some sort of babification as his own “social experiment”…

Re: The Experiment

I’ve always loved stories that use diapers as a school project although I don’t think there are many of them (at least I haven’t seen many).

Re: The Experiment

Well this is definitely one of the more original premises that i’ve read in quite awhile.
And i must say i loved it!, i also agree with WBDaddy, i thought it was going
in that direction too. But i was pleasantly surpassed that it wasn’t at all predictable.

Looking forward to Audrey’s crazy week, personally i’m hoping for ye’old
overprotective mommy who’s just happy to have a baby in the house again.

But that’s just me, please continue and thank you for sharing. :slight_smile:

The Experiment (Update 12/7)

The Experiment
Short post this time. Next one should be longer!

Mere minutes after she knew Lilah’s 1:30 class ended, Audrey heard a knock on her door. Audrey was once again alone; she vaguely remembered her roommate talking last night about some sorority event she had going on today. She was glad things had worked out so conveniently, because she only intended to share the contents of the large brown box that sat on her lap with one person. Well, she thought, at least until Friday night… A small spasm of fear went through her. She put the thought out of her mind.

Audrey deposited the box on the floor. Steeling herself for what she was about to do, she opened the door to reveal Lilah. She looked just as she always did, her wavy black hair cascading from beneath her ski cap, a smile on her face. This took Audrey aback. She didn’t know what she had expected—perhaps for Lilah to come storming in, raging at her, or for Lilah to be distant and cold. She definitely had expected something to be different. Lilah, however, looked utterly normal. Misgivings began to bloom in Audrey’s mind. What if her hunch was wrong? What would Lilah think of her then?

“Hey Audrey!” Lilah said cheerfully. “You gonna let me in, or what?”

Audrey, who had been preoccupied trying to detect any hidden undertones, accusatory or otherwise, in her friend’s voice, hadn’t realized she had been blocking the doorway. “Sorry,” she said, hastily removing herself from the walkway, her face slightly red.

Lilah plopped down on Audrey’s bed, while Audrey slid into her desk chair. She once again picked up the box and set it gingerly in her lap, as if it was a ticking time bomb she was afraid of setting off. Her anxiety must have shown on her face, because Lilah stared at her concernedly.

“What’s wrong? I got your text yesterday,” she said, indicating her phone. “I figured it must be something big.”

“Oh yeah,” Audrey replied.

“Is it a good big or a bad big?” Lilah asked. Her eyes grew wide. “Professor Milton didn’t change his mind about the extra credit, did he?”

“No, no, nothing like that!” Audrey said. “It’s…well…I think it’d be better if I showed you.” She slowly unfolded the box’s flaps.

Stop blushing. Stop freaking blushing!

“Oh, hey, is that something for your experiment? Did you decide what you’re going to do?” Lilah sounded excited; no trace of sullenness or resentment was to be heard. It was as if yesterday hadn’t happened. And if it turned out it hadn’t, Audrey was going to be royally pissed—with whom, she wasn’t sure; probably with Lilah for her misleading statement, but mostly with herself for being such a dunce. In any case, all was about to be revealed, for Lilah had come over to inspect the contents of the box.

In that moment, Audrey would’ve liked nothing more than to wrap herself in a cocoon of blankets and hide from the world, but she forced herself to watch Lilah’s reaction. Lilah’s smile faltered as she laid eyes upon the bright red packaging with the fancy cursive lettering.

“Diapers?” She asked, her inquiry riddled with confusion and something else Audrey couldn’t quite place—was it fear?

“Yeah, I…” She coughed, aware that her face was probably glowing at this point. “I thought about your idea you had yesterday, and…I realized I was kind of a jerk. I brushed it off without even considering it, which was really ungrateful, because I’m always begging for your help and you never complain about it, and yet here I am, being rude like some spoiled brat. And once I considered your idea, I realized how genius it was. So I went for it.”

Audrey waited with bated breath for Lilah’s reaction. This was the moment of truth. Lilah’s face remained impassive for a few seconds. Then suddenly, horrifyingly, tears began to well up in Lilah’s blue eyes, making them look like shattered glass.

“Are you mocking me?” She asked, in a voice laden with confusion and hurt.

Her words went through Audrey like a knife. She had not expected this, though in hindsight, it should have been obvious. Stupid, stupid, stupid me!

“No! Lilah, of course I’m not! Why would you think I’d ever do that?” Guilt was bubbling inside her stomach like acid.

“Because…because of yesterday!” Tears were spilling down her cheeks and clinging to her eyelashes like miniature crystal chandeliers. “I shouldn’t’ve said anything, I knew it was stupid, saying it out loud, but I couldn’t just say nothing anymore, it was driving me insane. I thought, since it was you, it’d be okay…but I guess not.”

“Wait a minute, that’s not fair,” Audrey replied heatedly. “What have I done that makes it not okay? Picked the idea that you suggested? I thought this would make you happy! That’s why I did it in the first place! You’re acting like I’m attacking you because…because…” She didn’t know how to finish her sentence. Because you have a thing for diapers? seemed sort of harsh, and despite her anger, Audrey didn’t want to do any more damage than she had already done.

Lilah buried her face in her hands. “Because I’m a freak?” she whispered so softly that Audrey barely heard. She wondered if Lilah had been talking to herself.

Audrey pulled Lilah into a hug. Lilah didn’t shake her off, but she didn’t hug her back either—she continued to stand there with her face buried in her hands.

“Lilah, listen to me,” Audrey said, trying to be both forceful and conciliatory at once. “I would never—never—call you a freak. You’ll never be anything other than my best friend.”

After a period of silence, Lilah finally revealed her red, tearstained face and spoke. “I just feel like a freak. All the time. I can’t shake it. Ever since I was little, I…I’ve wanted to wear diapers. I don’t know why, but I did. I knew it was…abnormal…but I just couldn’t get the idea out of my head. It’s really hard, carrying a secret like that for so long. I’ve never told anyone about it, even my close friends, because I was afraid they’d never treat me the same again…but I had to say something to someone, even if it was vague, or else it would eat me alive.” She wiped her eyes with her sleeve, looking straight into Audrey’s hazel eyes with her bleary blue ones, seeking some sort of refuge.

“Well, here’s the good news,” Audrey said, eager to reassure Lilah of her trustworthiness as a friend. “Now that you’ve finally told someone, you should feel a bit better, right? You don’t have to carry this alone anymore, Lilah. I promise you, your secret’s safe with me. Anytime you want to talk about it or anything, just text me or call me or something. I’d be glad to listen.”

“You…you’re serious?” Lilah said. “You’re not repulsed or…or grossed out?”

“I’ll admit, I did think it was a little strange at first…but the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea.” Audrey said embarrassedly.

Lilah smiled, and Audrey’s heart seemed a thousand times lighter. “So, are you really going to wear diapers for a week?” Lilah asked.

“That’s the plan,” Audrey answered. She still wasn’t sure how she felt about this. On one hand, the idea of everyone knowing about her diapers scared her…would the implications of this single week dog her for the rest of her life? Would her everlasting legacy be “Audrey Hudson: Diaper Girl?” But as much as the idea terrified her, it excited her even more. In two days’ time she would begin wearing—and using—diapers for the first time since she was three years old. The prospect enthralled her…was this how Lilah had felt? She couldn’t imagine keeping this a secret. Thankfully, what she was doing required the exact opposite.

“I’m so jealous,” Lilah said. And she was jealous, but mostly she was thankful. Thankful for Audrey’s understanding, thankful for her offer to be her confidante, thankful that she no longer had to hide from her best friend the secret that she had kept hidden so many years.

Suddenly, the door swung open. Both girls nearly jumped out of their skin. Audrey folded up the lid of the box so fast that her hands were a blur. Standing in the doorway, head cocked to the side, was Audrey’s roommate. She blinked confusedly at the startled faces looking back at her.

“I’m sorry, did I interrupt something?”

“Nope,” Lilah said, breathing an internal sigh of relief. She hadn’t noticed anything. “Nothing at all.”


to be continued

Re: The Experiment (Updated 12/7)

I like where this is going. I must admit, that Lilah’s immediate accusation upon the revealing of the diapers was not my favorite part, but it also contrasts her usual level headed understanding exterior, which adds more layers for further character development. I see that as Lilah’s composure is deteriorating, Audrey’s is solidifying. I will be watching this story for updates.

Re: The Experiment (Updated 12/7)

Short but sweet!, i look forward to more. Thank you for sharing. :slight_smile:

Re: The Experiment (Updated 12/7)

This is a neat story keep it up please I want to read some more.

Re: The Experiment (Updated 12/15)

The Experiment
Part 3, I guess? (I didn’t really divide this into chapters)

This one is a bit longer than the last. Hope you enjoy.

Friday afternoon found Audrey, huffing slightly, depositing the last of her luggage into the trunk of her car. She wiped her forehead as she surveyed the contents. Even though she would only be home for a little over a week, she was the type of person who couldn’t help but lug practically her entire dorm room home with her. Her trunk was bulging with her suitcase, assorted bags, and a large, fluffy pillow. There was, however, one more thing that needed to be packed, and Audrey had saved that for last.
Before she had left earlier that morning, Lilah had helped Audrey work out some of the logistics of her weeklong experiment. One of her ideas had been to pack the diapers last so they would be immediately noticeable to anyone who aided in unpacking Audrey’s car.

“I mean, this experiment isn’t going to work if you don’t tell anyone about the diapers, and I don’t want you getting cold feet,” Lilah had said, waggling her finger at Audrey in a mock-admonitory fashion. “This way your family will know right off the bat, and they’ll be the ones to initiate the conversation, so you don’t have to.”

They had also devised a story to explain Audrey’s sudden need to wear diapers. Audrey had to admit, she hadn’t given this much thought. “I think it’d be best to go with the bladder infection ploy,” Lilah had suggested. “They’re not uncommon, and they can cause accidents if they get bad enough. I remember this one friend from grade school…but that’s a story for another day.”

“But won’t my mom make me go to the doctor if they hear I have a bladder infection bad enough to cause accidents? Then I’ll be exposed.” Audrey said worriedly.

Lilah considered this for a moment. “You could say you went to the campus doctor, which is how you got the idea of using protection in the first place,” she offered.

“Yeah,” Audrey had agreed. “My mom should buy that. She trusts me.” She felt a stab of guilt that she was using her mother’s trust as a means to trick her…but this wasn’t really lying, since it was for experimental purposes. Still, the guilt had lingered.

Presently, however, the only thing Audrey was feeling was a combination of apprehension and extreme excitement. It coursed through her body like an electric current, causing her fingers to tingle as she shut her trunk and made her way back towards her residence hall, where her final treasure resided. She speed-walked past a slew of identical doors, finally arriving at her own empty dorm room {seriously, what did her roommate do all day?).

Audrey opened her closet door, which protested with an obnoxious creak, as if she had rudely awakened the sleeping hinge from a peaceful nap. There, nestled in the corner, right where she had left it, was the brown box. She drew it out, her breath quickening. The box flaps parted to reveal the three packages of diapers, arrayed in pristine display. It was finally time. Audrey grabbed a package with trembling hands and ripped it open. Her fingers were slightly sweaty as she slid out a diaper.

“When are you going to start your week?” Lilah had asked, her legs swaying, her chin resting on the heels of her hands like always.

“You mean…start wearing diapers?” Audrey said.

“Yeah. I mean, I’m just thinking it would be strange if you wait until you get home to put on your first diaper. If you spout out this whole story about having a really bad bladder infection and having to wear protection without even having a diaper on, people are gonna get suspicious. And the point of all this is to convince them you really do need diapers. Otherwise, their reactions won’t be genuine and your experiment will be shot.”

“Wow, I guess I never realized how many nuances this plan actually has…” Audrey said nervously. Crap. Knowing me, I’ll find a way to screw it up. “In that case, I guess I could stop at a gas station or something when I’m near home and change.”

“Or,” Lilah said, “You could just put on a diaper before you leave from school so you don’t have to stop at all.”

“Oh…oh yeah.” Lilah had realized this, but she didn’t really want to risk exposing her experiment to her fellow students. It was silly, considering she was about to parade in front of her family in diapers, but at least she’d get to explain her situation to them.

“And Audrey, remember,” Lilah said. “Convincing your subjects that you really do need to wear diapers means that you have to use them. In your case, you wouldn’t have to use them for number two, since bladder infections don’t cause fecal incontinence. But you will have to use them for all other matters of business.”

Audrey’s face was tomato red by this point. “Okay, okay! I understand!”

“Good.” Lilah glanced down at her phone. “I’d better be on the road, I told my dad I’d be home by one.” She slid off the bed. “Thanks for helping me pack earlier, by the way.”

“That’s what friends are for, right? Companionship and free baggage handling.”

Lilah beamed. “I’m gonna miss you, Audrey. We should meet up sometime during break!”

Audrey smiled in return. “I’d like that. Text me later and we can work something out, okay?”

“Sounds good,” Lilah replied. “Good luck on your experiment, Audrey!” With a wave, she was gone. Audrey was left to mull over their discussion, as well as to ponder the underlying envy she had detected in Lilah’s parting well-wishes.


Audrey slipped into the handicap stall of the girls’ restroom on her floor, diaper in hand. Thankfully, as many people had already left to go home, the building was pretty sparsely populated. Audrey could feel her heartbeat growing faster as she felt the diaper’s smooth, soft exterior. Slowly, she unfolded it, taking in every detail of the garment that would soon adorn her waist: the oddly pleasant smell, the crinkle of the material… These things were all nostalgic to her, like a long-forgotten memory bubbling to the surface. She felt like she was being transported back to a simpler time.

Her ears were alert for the sound of anyone entering the bathroom, but no one came. Audrey slid down her sweats and her panties, leaving her naked from the waist down. She soon realized that diapering yourself was somewhat of a chore. She eventually discovered a method that worked, however. She placed the back of the diaper against her rear and leaned against the stall wall. She then brought the front up between her legs and taped up the sides. It fit her perfectly. In a matter of minutes, the deed that had been weighing on her mind for the past few days was done. She was diapered for the first time in 15 years.

The diaper—my diaper, she thought—did feel quite foreign, not at all like her normal underwear. It was definitely softer, and way bulkier. She squeezed her thighs together just to feel the thick material bunch up between her legs. It was such an infantile feeling, and for reasons Audrey could not explain, she loved it.

Realizing that she did not really need her panties anymore, she pulled her sweats up over her diaper and stuffed the discarded pair in her pocket. As she exited the stall, she noticed that the diaper bunched up weirdly as she walked. She had to make a conscious effort to walk normally.

On her way out, Audrey caught a glimpse of herself in the restroom mirror. Her face was pale from excitement, and her eyes were bright. She glanced down at her crotch area to see how it looked in the reflection. The top of the diaper came up to just below her belly button, so a visible amount was sticking out over the waistband of her sweats. She tugged down her shirt, concealing the strip of diaper from view. She looked at her reflection once again. This time she could not see any evidence that she was wearing anything other than her normal panties. I just look like plain old me. You can’t really even tell a difference.

The drive home was uneventful, but it did give Audrey a lot of time to think. Perhaps this experiment wouldn’t just be not bad—it might even be fun. She didn’t know why, but putting on a diaper had made her happy in a way she had not felt in a long time. She couldn’t nail down exactly what the feeling was, but she was certainly enjoying it. People in a rainbow assortment of cars zoomed alongside her on the highway, none of them any the wiser to her secret, none of them knowing the calm elation that was expanding within her chest as she cruised toward the beginning of her week in diapers.


By the time Audrey pulled into her driveway a few hours later, a nagging pressure in her bladder had undercut her pure elation, reminding her of the fact that the actual wearing of the diapers was only part of the deal. Inevitably, she would have to fulfill the second part…and soon. Audrey hadn’t really thought much on that aspect of her experiment; whenever the thought rose to the surface of her mind, she promptly pushed it back down and turned her mind elsewhere. However, she could not keep doing this any longer. Once again the thought had risen, and this time Audrey could not brush it away, for it was staring her straight in the face. As she pondered the fact that a diaper change was in her near future, she had to admit, she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. She supposed she should be grossed out by the fact that she would be wallowing in her own pee, and she was, a bit…but mostly she was consumed by that same burning curiosity she had felt back when she was first ordering the diapers. Using them would be a sensation she hadn’t felt in over a decade, and had long since forgotten. Her imagination was not enough to satiate the burning desire to know: what does it feel like? Ultimately, however, it didn’t really matter what Audrey felt. Any misgivings she had could not stop biological processes from occurring. Eventually, her bladder would no longer be able to accommodate its contents, and Audrey would have to deal with the consequences, whether she wanted to or not.

Audrey’s reasonable side told her that there was no point in holding it. You’re in diapers for a week, so you’re going to have to get used to using them, whispered a voice in her head. It sounded suspiciously like Lilah. Just let it go, so you can get on with unpacking and start your break!

Audrey got out of her car and looked toward the house. The curtains were drawn shut. No one had yet realized she was home, so she had a few minutes of relative privacy. Taking a deep breath, she tried to relax her bladder and let go. Her body, however, would not cooperate.

Hey, you’re not on the toilet, it informed her.

[i]I know! Go anyway!

You’re in the middle of a driveway.

You heard me![/i]

“Crap, crap, crap!” She heard the door open and the sound of footsteps on pavement. Audrey hastily rearranged her face from one of mixed panic and frustration to one of welcoming happiness. Her mother was walking toward her, beaming. Audrey found she did not have to force her happy expression. She hadn’t seen her mom for over a month! Being away that long made her feel as if everything should be different somehow, but her mom still had the same auburn hair, the same smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose, the same warm grin. Audrey momentarily forgot her predicament as she and her mother embraced.

“Welcome home, Audrey! I’ve missed you!” she said, hugging Audrey tight.

“I’ve missed you too, Mom…a lot,” Audrey said.

“How was your trip?” Mom asked, as the two broke apart. “No car troubles or anything?”

Audrey remembered the childlike elation she had felt during her drive, the sensation her diaper provided with every move she made… “It was…really nice, actually.”

“Good, good. Well, there’s no point in standing here in the dark! I’ll lend you a hand with lugging your stuff in.”

Mom struck up a conversation about Audrey’s classes as the two moved to the trunk. Audrey, whose heart had begun pounding rather hard, wasn’t really listening. She inserted the key into the trunk’s lock rather slower than usual, because she knew that once it was open, the hammer would drop. The three packages of diapers, one of them already opened and with a diaper missing, would be right there for her mom to discover. Audrey figured she should be paying attention to how Mom reacted so she could document it in her paper, but her heart was jackhammering against her sternum, making it hard to concentrate on anything but her fear.

Realizing she could not stall any longer without eliciting curious inquiries from her mom, Audrey unlocked the trunk and lifted it up. It seemed as if her life had suddenly switched to slow motion. The lid took forever to rise, and the packages of diapers slid into view painfully slowly. It’s dark, Audrey thought, maybe she won’t realize what they are. Wait, what am I thinking! I can’t really hide them…she’ll see them when I take them inside. And anyway, I don’t want to hide them! Nothing is even going wrong right now! So why are you getting so worked up, Audrey? Even after she believed she had steeled herself for the upcoming week, every new barrier she had to pass made her shake, sweat, and doubt. She had to stop doing this. She was in too deep, anyhow. She had to learn to control her embarrassment. She was still in control. This was her own doing, and she could handle it.

With this mantra in mind, Audrey swallowed her trepidation and just let things happen…and in more ways than one. Before she even had time to think about it, Audrey’s bladder gave way. Funny, she thought, that she had just told herself that she was in control. Gaining control of her emotions had required the sacrifice of a different type of control, and this fact was quite apparent to Audrey as she wet herself right there on the driveway. The diaper grew pleasantly warm between her legs, and it felt bulkier and heavier than before…but Audrey had no time to focus on the experience, for her mom had just gone silent as she picked up the package and a curious expression was dawning on her face.

Well, thought Audrey, bracing herself for whatever came. It’s showtime.

to be continued

Re: The Experiment (Updated 12/15)

Ahhhh!
The cliffhanger strikes again!

I’m coming up a bit short of feedback for the actual writing part. That probably means you’re doing well. I do like how natural her thoughts feel in such an unnatural situation. The little argument in her head is brilliant.

Re: The Experiment (Updated 12/15)

Arrrgh! just when it was getting good! now i really really Really!!! want to see where this go’s.
Great chapter btw, it had some nice bits of humor and interesting monologue throughout.

I am very much looking forward to more! please continue and thank you for sharing. :slight_smile: