The Diapered Sniper

The Diapered Sniper… The prototype.

Bang!
The big rifle sounded off loud in the night, then came the hustle and hiding to get out of the area before he was captured, and probably tortured for information, the year was 2040 and this was 14 year old James Thompson’s life, he was a sniper for the U.S. Marine corps, one of their very best.

National Champ on his highschool’s rifle team, he had been selected and tested
secretly, through government training, an orphan since birth as his father died at war shortly before he was born and his
mother passed while giving birth to him, there was no one to protest the government officials suddenly showing up and
whisking him away from the orphanage, especially not James, he hated that place.

Soon after leaving the orphanage with his two high-profile bodyguards, James learned of his new role and all the perks and
dangers this would gain him, but like all 14 year olds (he was 13 at the time of his recruitment) he felt he was 6 feet tall
and bulletproof, so it was no surprise when he didn’t turn down the job. The government had seen his uncanny ability to hit
right on target 99% of the time, even moving targets and he could handle a rifle very well for a small boy, small for 13
years old in fact, but very fit, He prided himself in his body, small as it was.

He learned that he was to be a sniper, to be called upon to go wherever, whenever his services were required, he would be taking out high profile targets and would need to be able to easily move around without being suspected his small stature and him being only 13 making his job that much easier, of course he would be housed in the city of his choosing with a stiff $100,000 per year bank account in his name, but considering he was housed and clothed by the government already, he wouldn’t really be needing it. So half was put into savings for him and the rest was to do with as he please, who wouldn’t jump for that?

Fast-forward a little over a year later and little James is earning his pay professionally, never missing his target once he had taken out many high powered targets b y now and was known in U.S sniper community as “The Shadow” due to his ability to get in and out undetected. But despite all his skills luck wasn’t always on his side. James had been assigned a fairly easy mission, to take out a revolt leader that was rallying troops in a country allied with the U.S. he and his group had sectioned of a part of a city in that country with a wall and were conducting operations out of that area, of course bombing would have been effective but it would have also killed nearby civilians still living in that area.

James was positioned on the wall 20 feet off the ground peering through the high powered scope of the newest most powerful rifle the marine corps had to offer his target a full 4 miles away, the target was stationary, giving a speech, so there was no way he would miss, his instincts took over however causing him to go through the routine of relaxing, take deep breaths and pull the trigger back slowly so as to not jerk the huge gun off target. BOOM! the huge rifle simply roared like no other had before as it spat fire into the night, one round racing through the air zipping past buildings and reaching its target a full 4 seconds before the sound did, James hit his target right on, but he missed everything that came after the pulling of the trigger.

After pulling the trigger on the magnificent piece of weaponry issued to him earlier that week, all James could remember was a falling sensation, then looking up at the night sky and then feel of sand on his face as his rifle clattered down next to him and finally darkness.

I’m dead, James thought to himself, “i’m dead” he thought again before screaming out loud, “I’m dead!” then finding himself sitting straight up on a cot in a strange house. “Not quite sonny but you came close” came the somewhat scratchy voice of an old man, He looked around to find the owner of the house an older man with a scar going vertical though his left eye, which remained closed, James could only guess that he had lost it at some point or another.

W-Who are you James asked, the timidness of a 14 year old meet a new person in a hostile environment taking over. “I’m the person who saved your life sonny” answered the man, “my name is not important.” He stated killing the boy’s next question before it was asked. “Boy what a fall that was you took from the old wall up there, I thought you were dead as soon as you hit the ground, but your moaning pretty much canceled that theory for me.”

“So you saved my life”, James inquired, “what happened to me?”. “Well from the looks of it” the old man answered “that monster of a gun you’ve got must have kicked you off when you fired it, you hit the ground pretty hard, broke your left leg and right arm”. sure enough he felt both limbs aching dully. Suddenly he felt his crotch go warm and sensed that something wasn’t right between his legs, for the first time since waking up. Snatching the sheets aside with his good arm he look down to find several cloth diapers pinned around his midsection, “what the hell is this” he roared in his 14 year old puberty cracked voice.

“Well my young friend this has bee going on for the past week since you got here.” The old man answer “Week? I’ve been out for a whole week?” James ask dazed by this fact. “Now settle down youngster” the old man comforted “your people will be here to get you out as soon as all the hype wears down from the assassination of hat old revolt leader on the other side of he wall, boy you sure did a number on him.” “Whats all the fuss about pops” came the voice of a younger guy of about 16, as he entered the room rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “oh, he’s awake.” James quickly snatched the covers back over himself, trying to avoid being seen in diapers by someone only slightly older than him. “This here is Harry, my son, he was working on a team that was watching the movements of the revolt leader when you took im out, he’s the one that picked you up and brought you here to me, had he not done that you would have surely died” “and just so you know he’s already seen you in those diapers, your pants were wet when he brought you home.” Then the man laughed at the mortified look on James’ face….boy could this week get any worse……….to be continued…probably.

Re: The Diapered Sniper

The premise is interesting, but this feels rushed and too over-the-top. Also, please learn when to end a sentence.

Re: The Diapered Sniper

Yeah it was pretty rushed, i was writing it off the top of my head. I kinda designed it for another site actually, but decided to post it here first, I’ll take note of that ending sentence thing, its been a while since i wrote anything large.

Re: The Diapered Sniper

Man reading this story, all I could think about is what kind of idiot would take a trained killer into his house and humiliate him with diapers…

Re: The Diapered Sniper

another trained killer, from the same side.

Re: The Diapered Sniper

Writing style aside…

You’d have to work pretty hard to get me to ‘believe’ this. Also, you said it’s now 2040, but there’s nothing to back that up. It seems almost like it’s written in a pre-2000 setting. I mean cloth diapers? 30 years from now? Puh-lease.

If the main character were a girl you might have a real winner though…

But that’s just my humble opinion.

Re: The Diapered Sniper

JUst FYI a trained sniper would NEVER take an unfamiliar rifle on an assignment. He would have to practice with it long enough to become familiar with it and would kow exactly how powerful it was and how much it kicked.

Re: The Diapered Sniper

Thanks guys, keep em coming, I’ll keep this stuff in mind next time i write, this was more of a rush job actually. I did it in about an hour and a half with zero planning.

Re: The Diapered Sniper

A sniper should never rush in without a plan XD

Re: The Diapered Sniper

I suppose i could have made it, more of a war-torn era where troops where not always trained to the highest standards other than their specific jobs.

Re: The Diapered Sniper

The idea of the story is good, but as others have said it feels rushed, sentences need ending in a different point, build up the back story, give more details about the characters and the time in which the story is set.

Re: The Diapered Sniper

Good story. You have to decide whom you want to write to. Those that are into diapers, and will read it for that, or those that are into diapers, AND also like realism in their stories.

The story is fine as it is, sure it’s a bit “rushed”, but you can fix that without a major re-write.

Your Marine sniper take is something you will either have to leave as it is, and let those that read it decide if it sticks in their craw. Or it will have to be removed, or almost completely reworked.

The Marines have always put an emphasis on skill with a rifle, unlike the army, or the air force, the Marines train EVERYONE to shoot a rifle. “Every Marine a rifleman”. Is part of the Marine mantra.

To help you out, the Marines usually send out snipers in sets of two, one behind the rifle, the other keeping an eye open, and “doping” windage, and checking the shooters distances as well, basically a good spotter. Often times the two will switch every 45 minutes or so, especially if the rifle is constantly on target, to keep muscles from getting stiff.

And 4 miles isn’t much of a stretch for a .50 BMG SLAP round. It’s not really accurate out to that distance, but some of my custom .50 loads are pretty dam quick, and given the right rifle, barrel length, and maybe a sabot down to .30 you could get 4 miles. Throw in some acronyms.

Try; 50BMGE, or BMGI, for a rifle, neither exist, explain it’s a wildcat of the .50BMG, then say it fires a special .30 caliber tungsten round encased as a standard SLAP projectile. There’s enough there to blow smoke up 90 percent of the readers ass’s, and enough fact to make most hard core gun nuts say, “Fuck it… Close enough!”

I would suggest maybe instead of an “unknown rifle” which a sniper could not have, and would NOT take into indian country, perhaps have him nose it through a crack in the wall, and not notice a piece or rubble funnel into the barrel through the muzzle brake. That “could” cause a catastrophic failure of the rifle. Though the target would remain active. For more “pain” his his spotter killed by the blast.

Good luck.

Re: The Diapered Sniper

You know, I always wondered about your name, long rifle.

Guess now I know :smiley:

Re: The Diapered Sniper

I wanted Long_Trang back in the day. As a tribute to my childhood hero. But alas, the first site I registered on already had it taken, so I took this one instead.

Re: The Diapered Sniper

great job as always, I love all your stories, and I smile when I see you have a new story.

Re: The Diapered Sniper

Is that so….this is my first story though and its a prototype. ??? :-\ By the way thank Long_rifle.