The Dating Accident

Part 1

The date was going well for 16-year old Lucas. His date Emily was having an enjoyable time at the mall with him and everything was absolutely perfect! Everything except the rising pressure in his bowels that is.

His need to poop was becoming increasingly urgent throughout the date. Lucas was a shy boy, so he didn’t want to potentially anger Emily by stopping the date so he could go to the bathroom. As such, he did not go to the bathroom once this entire time. This was especially bad since he had just eaten two greasy hamburgers at the food court about an hour ago.

“Is there anything wrong?” Emily asked Lucas. She seemed concerned that her date was walking slowly and sweating a bit.

“N-no. I’m f-fine.” Lucas stuttered. He didn’t want to talk too much as it would take his concentration off of his bowels, which was very important right now for him.

Emily shrugged her shoulders a bit and continued to walk ahead. Lucas followed close behind her. A couple meters away Emily saw something in a window and rushed towards it. Not wanting to be left behind, Lucas chased after her.

Window after window Emily rushed to see all there was. Meanwhile, Lucas was having a hard time keeping up with his date while making sure he didn’t poop himself in the mall.

“Hey! Look at this!” Emily said excitedly as she pointed to a dress in the window of a clothing store.

“It looks great.” Lucas said painfully. He wasn’t really looking at the dress, he was just saying something to make his date happy.

“I know!” Emily said. She began to run off to another store, leaving Lucas to follow her.

Soon Emily was tired of shopping and ready to leave the mall. Lucas sighed in relief. He would be able to get home and use the bathroom there.

“I had a great time today, Lucas!” Emily said, “I hope we can go out again-huh?” Emily was confused to see her date making weird sounds and his face turn red.

"Oh no! Lucas thought, I’m losing it! Even though relief was so close to him, it seems as if the battle was lost one. A warm mess began to leave him and filled the seat of his jeans. A terrible smell filled the air and it was obvious to his date what happened to him.

“You’re not!” Emily said in shock and denial.

Lucas sighed a bit as he finished and looked up at his girlfriends face. Her face was red with embarressment and riddled with a bit of disgust.

“I-I’m sorry…” Lucas said with a blush.

Part Two Coming Soon!

Re: The Dating Accident

Sorry it took so long to get this approved. I’ve had minimal Internet access and couldn’t access the approval link.

I won’t comment on the length (trust me, you’ll probably get enough comments on that soon enough), but as you can see I did edit it. For the love of $deity, don’t make the entire thing bold in the future. That serves no purpose and makes it render horribly on some devices.

Re: The Dating Accident

Was the entire thing in bold? I didn’t notice. Thank you for approving this and I am sorry about the length.

Re: The Dating Accident

Yep. I figured you only meant to bold the Part 1 header so that’s what I fixed it to.

And personally, I prefer short when I have to approve posts the story sections, but yeah, a rewrite wouldn’t hurt to be honest. The three things that jumped out at me were the lack of details, the fact you basically started in the middle of a scene, and one glaring logic hole (at least to me). He’s worried about how Emily would react if he interrupted the date to use the restroom so I’m left wondering why the heck didn’t he do so before leaving? At least talk about the time leading up to the point where this starts and you’ll have a much better starting point in general :slight_smile:

Re: The Dating Accident

Thank you for the advice! I’ll take that into consideration.

Re: The Dating Accident

You also referred to Lucas, as Liam, in the second paragraph.

Re: The Dating Accident

Thank you for pointing that out.