This is my first story, and I am pretty happy with how it turned out. Note I said “this is MY”, so it belongs to me. I ask you please don’t steal it. If you want to use it somewhere else please contact me and ask, and make sure I receive credit for my work.
“Come on Kate let’s go, the snow is starting to get bad”, Said my co-worker, “ok I’m coming, I’m coming” I muttered.
Tonight I am not going to my apartment for an evening of diapers and physiology homework; I am staying with a co-worker because they are spraying for bedbugs in my apartment. Let me backtrack here and tell you the odd relationship with my co-worker. I am a recent graduate of a very small high school, and six months after graduation I am already working an office job at the high school part time while I am in college. So my co-worker/teacher has known me since I was sixteen years old. She helped me with my IEP, and was a friend to me when I needed one. Since my recent graduation was have moved from the teacher/student role to friends. I still do not call her by her first name, because it still feels weird.
We walked out to the car as the snow seemed to blind me even more; I have poor vision to begin with. Ms. Darling grabbed my arm and said “come here, I know you can’t see as it is”, as she pulled me to the car. This is the point I should explain our physical differences Ms. Darling is about 5’8 and 250lbs, and I am 5’2 ½ and all of 125lbs, so when I say she pulled me, she pulled me.
We got in the car and I reached my hand into my bag and felt around for my prize. Crap where is it? Did it fall out?… no there it is, thank Goodness. My hands had closed around my adult size NUK5 pacifier. I had never taken in out in public, but did not want to leave it at home to be exposed to whatever they were going to spray to get rid of the bedbugs. Ms. Darling had offered to keep me for the night when I was complaining about the frequent bites, and mentioned they were going to spray my building.
I was pulled out of my thoughts about my pacifier by the car skidding to a stop. “Here we are kiddo, home sweet home”. We jump outta the car into the blizzard and run inside. Wow I knew she had a six figure job, but I didn’t know what kind of house a six figure job bought. I set my bag by the stairs and looked at the room living room around me in awe, leather furniture, artwork on the walls, and a TV big enough even I could see what was happening. Sure puts my efficiency apartment to shame… “Come into the kitchen hon” I haden’t even noticed Ms. Darling had continued walking and I was standing alone in the living room. I slowly walked to the kitchen and barley had time to keep my jaw from dropping to the floor.
In front of me was a kitchen of any cooks dreams, stainless steel appliances, granite counter tops with lots of room, and even a free standing island just for food prep. I took a catering class for most of my high school career so Ms. Darling knows I love to cook, so she filled me in on where everything was in the kitchen. “Well little lady, I know you can cook better than me, so would you like to wow me with one of your dishes?” “Sure” I said, “You took me in for the night, so it’s the least I can do”. Ms. Darling left the room to do some work on the computer, and I started to cook.
I set to work looking through the refrigerator to find what ingredients I had to work with. After looking at all my choices I decided chicken cordon blu and green beans were on the menu tonight. I set to work and in no time the smell of chicken and green beans were wafting their heavenly scent throughout the house.
Ms. Darling walked back into the room just as I had started to look for plates, “smells really good Kate, for not bein able to see much of anything, you sure do make some good food” Ms. Darling said. “Thanks, again it’s the least I can do” I said. “You know Kate, its nice to have someone here tonight, it does get lonely sometimes” she said as we sat down at the table with our plates. “Do you wanna try some wine Kate?”, “oh yea sure”, I accepted quickly. I had never been one for wine, but an adult had offered it, so I took it. “It’s kind of nice to be sharing diner with someone tonight, it does get kind of lonely sometimes” I said.
Ms. Darling was well into her fifties, and had never married or had children. She was a strong willed women with a doctorate in special education and had worked her way up into a high paying respectable position. Education and work were always a priority, so finding someone special just seemed to fall to the side, and now in here late fifties it seemed as if she was content to remain unmarried.
We ate dinner slowly as we talked about happenings at the school, and talked about how college life was going for me. I had recently moved into town by myself back in July so I could attend college in August. I had rented an efficiency apartment and used my social security to get by until my old high school approached me with a position. I now had a bit more money to have fun with, and was happy to be back at my old high school part time. It was hard living alone sometimes, so I was happy to spending the night in a house with someone else.
“Well kiddo that was some of the best home cooked food I have had in a long time” said Ms. Darling. “Sure no problem, I love doing it and cooking for someone else is always fun” I said. We walked back into the kitchen and Ms. Darling took my plate and put it in the dishwasher. We both looked out the window at the snow continuing to fall.
“You know Kate, you may not believe this, but when it snows like this I like to play in the snow”, said Ms. Darling. “What no way, thats awesome! we should go play in the snow” I exclaimed in excitement. We both quickly walked back into the living room and put on coats, hats and gloves, but Ms. Darling stopped me at the door and pulled my hat down a little further on my head and tugged a little at the zipper on my coat. “Come on I’m 19 I can dress myself” I said. “I’m aware of that, but I’m just making sure”, she said. After my clothing was to her liking she opened the door and we were out into the Ohio frozen tundra for some fun in the snow.
Ms. Darling was right down into the snow making a snow angel, I laughed as I watched her act much younger than she actually was. I jumped on her and we started wrestling in the snow. At this point my small bladder started to inform me that drinking wine was a bad idea. Granted I had always had a small irritable bladder, but the wine seemed to make its way through me in no time. At the point Ms. Darling had my pinned to the ground, I started to squirm. “Ok its too cold I said, can we go back in?” I said hoping she would get off me. "What you want up cause your losing?’ she asked laughing. “No” I said getting more and more uncomfortable with her weight pressing on me, “I’m just cold”.
She rolled off me and I stood up, my bladder really let me know it was time to go. She threw a snowball at me and it hit me in the stomach, and I felt a small dribble. Crap no, I’m not gonna do this here in front of her I thought frantically. I started walking towards the front door keeping my bladder in check as I walked. Ms. Darling followed behind me finally agreeing it was cold. I tried to open the door, but it wouldent open. I looked at Ms. Darling for an explanation, “Oh it must be the combination lock I’ve got it” I stood beside her fidgeting. “Whats wrong Kate? Snow in your shirt” she asked, “no” I said, “I need to go to the bathroom” I said sighing. “Oh so thats the problem”, she said ushering me in the door quickly. She pulled off my coat, hat and gloves quicker than I could say anything and gave me a slight push toward the stairs. “Hurry up then, don’t want any problems, do we?” She said as she walked into the kitchen. I didn’t answer as I scooted my butt up the stairs in search of the bathroom. “When your done, come back down, I’ll make some hot chocolate” she called out. “Ok I will I yelled” finally finding the bathroom door.
I walked in, shut the door and quickly made my way to the toilet; surveying the damage to my spongebob panties. Just a little spot, nothing anybody will notice. I flushed the toilet and went to the sink, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Ice blue eyes and white hair, yes my hair is white due to a genetic defect. It makes me look different, but I love the color, because its so different. It was my inspiration for my username on the ABDL web sites I so frequently visited. Powderhair, because my hair is the color of baby powder.
Then I looked at my face, it doesn’t look 19, 12 would we a better guess. I had always been baby faced and was often mistaken for 12 or 13 because of my size and my face. In my ABDL world I loved it, in my adult world it left me always trying to prove I was a grown up, even if I didn’t look the part.
I reached for the soap and found the hand pump empty, so I looked under the sink for some more. I reached in and felt something that made my heart skip a beat. Could that be??… is it? I pulled out from beneath the sink none other than a size large bambino diaper. [i]Large, that would be Ms. Darling’s size I thought. So does this mean….? Is Ms. Darling an AB?
[/i]I sat there on the bathroom floor examining the diaper in my hand. The soft thick diaper that I had come to love was here, under the bathroom sink of my teacher, AND IT WAS IN HER SIZE. I looked under the sink and low and behold there was the package that the diaper had come from, there were a couple missing from the open pack. There was also a container of Pampers swipers, Johnson’s baby oil, and Johnson’s baby powder. So she at least does it up right, now how the heck do I approach this subject???
“Everything all right up there?”
Crap how long have I been up here?
“Yeah I’m good, im comin”, I yelled as I threw the diaper back under the sink and shut the door. I quickly walked back down the stairs and into the kitchen trying not to look like anything was different. I walked into the kitchen as Ms. Darling sat two mugs of hot chocolate on the table. As she was digging through a cabinet looking for marshmallows I took a seat and tried to steal a glance at her behind to check for padding, but my poor vision just wasn’t allowing it.
[i]Ahh how in the world do you ask somebody something like this? Do I just come out and say “so Ms. Darling are you an AB?” crap I don’t know!!!
[/i]“You sure your alright Kate? You go awful quiet”, she asked.
“Yeah, I’m alright, hold on a second I just wanna show you something” inspiration had struck. I ran back into the living room and picked up my bag and plunged my hand in searching for my prize. Upon finding it I jammed it in my pocket and walked back into the kitchen.
“Ok Ms. Darling, I’m just gonna lay this all on the table” I pulled the NUK5 out of my pocket and set it on the table between us. “Does this mean anything to you?” Well here goes nothing.
She let out a small gasp and I’m sure she had an expression of shock on her face. “Is that yours Kate?” she asked in a voice that was calm, but laced with a trace of excitement. “Yes, it is”,
“I found a bambino upstairs under the sink, I have to ask you, are you an AB too?” I asked with an excited breath.
“YES, yes I have been for as long as I can remember, but when I was younger there was no Internet, I only found out what exactly I was in 1995 when I get the Internet here at home. When I was a teenager I would sneak cloth diapers from my little brother, I was a bit smaller back then. I felt like I was all alone and the only weirdo that liked diapers and baby things. Over the years I came to except who I am, but when I got the Internet I found out there were others like me and I was not alone. I started buying disposables back in the 80s, but I still enjoy my cloth diapers. I order bambinos because they are the nicest disposable I have ever used. I have a few of those pacifiers as well as some other things I would like to show you, but first tell me, how long have you been an AB?”
“I can remember liking diapers since I was about six, I remember walking through the aisles at the store looking at all the diaper packages and wishing one of them was for me. I used to take diapers from cousins, and when I get old enough I would take them when I was babysitting. Now that I moved out of my parents house I have been able to order a sample of bambino diapers and went to the medical shop near my apartment. I got this pacifier, and a few bottles. Some of clothing has childish features because I can wear some of the girls XL clothing. That’s about it, because I just started this job and I want to be able to pay money towards my student loans before I start buying bigger packs of bambinos and more baby stuff.”
We both sat there, trying to make sure neither of us were dreaming. How in the world, of all the people I know the last one I would expect to be an adult baby its Ms. Darling. She is so proper, and just… I really didn’t expect this and I’m sure she didn’t either. She finally broke the silence “since we both know a lot more about each other there is a room I would like to show you Kate”. I nodded and let her lead the way upstairs.
We went upstairs and walked down the right side of the hallway, which was a significantly longer hall and walked all the way to the door at the end and stopped. “This is gonna be like Christmas came again” she said with a knowing smile. She opened the door and gave me a gentle push forward. I walked in as she flipped the light on and saw the room out of an adult baby’s girl’s dreams.
In front of me was an adult size crib with strawberry shortcake sheets. A bookshelf full of children’s books next to a toy box with barbie’s, stuffed animals, wooden building blocks, crayons and coloring books, and baby dolls with all kinds of baby doll accessories. There was a light purple rocking chair by the window. There was a shelf stocked with disposable diapers, but mostly dominated with cloth diapers and plastic pants. There were plain cloth diapers and printed ones, and plain plastic pants and pants with prints and even some with frills on the back.
The walls were a light purple with a Disney princess wall boarder; the carpet under my feet was purple, fluffy and soft. I turned back to look at Ms. Darling and she said “when you have a six figure job, you can give yourself a room like this kiddo”. I laughed “I just… really did not expect any of this… any of it… at all”. She walked towards the rocking chair and took hold of my wrist as she walked. “Believe me I didn’t either, I have never met another AB in my life, let alone expect one of my old students or one of my now co-workers”. She pulled me into her lap and I resisted slightly at the close physical contact. “I’m not gonna hurt you, don’t worry” she said reassuringly. I had grown up in a home with little physical contact, so physical contact was something I had always been afraid of.
I gradually relaxed and sat on her lap and she started to rock the chair back and forth. “You know Kate, I’ve wanted to try my hand at being a mother for a while now, but I’m well past child bearing age. Would you let me try with you?” I smiled “your an AB, but you want to be a mother too, I thought you would want somebody to be your mother?”
“Well for a while I wanted a daddy, but I think I’m just happy acting as a child by myself, there are some AB’s that are happy acting it out by themselves, I am happy to change my own diapers and make my own bottles and play with my toys”.
“Well I’ve never really considered the idea of a mommy, but I would be willing to let your try your hand at being a mother” I said looking at her face. This close up I could actually see her face, her brown eyes looking into my crystal blue eyes. “I think it would be fun for both of us”.
“Alright, then let’s get started” she said lifting me off her lap and standing me up as she walked over to the closet. Man I didn’t know she was that strong.
She walked over to the closet and opened the door. “I happen to have some medium disposables in here somewhere, you could wear the cloth, but the plastic pants would be too big, and all the disposables on the shelf there are too big.” She continued to move things around in the closet, “and there is no way we are going out in that blizzard to a store” she added as an afterthought.
I wondered over to the window and pulled the sting a little on the purple mini blinds so I could look out a little better. The snow was still falling and it was starting to get darker out. “yep its still coming down” I said more to myself then to her. I was starting to get a little concerned at the amount of snow coming down.
“Found them”, she exclaimed holding up a white package that I could not read the writing on. She reached behind the diaper shelf and pulled out a large changing mat and took out a bottle of baby powder. She sat down on the fluffy carpet with these items and looked over at me. “Get your butt over here kid”
I walked over and she gently pulled me onto the floor. She gently pushed me onto my back so that I was laying on the changing pad. She untied my shoes and set them aside, then moved on to my pants. “Are you comfortable with this”? She asked.
“For the most part, its usually just me doing this, so I’m a bit uncomfortable cause I’m not used to it.” She gently unbuttoned and unzipped my pants and slid them down my legs and off my feet. After sitting them aside she carefully put her hands on my underwear. I flinched slightly, but remained still.
She stopped, “Your sure?”, “as I’ll ever be”. She pulled my underwear off and set them aside and busied herself pulling a diaper out of the package. “I see we did have a bit of a problem earlier” she said remarking on my slightly damp panties.
I blushed but laughed and said “well you did jump on me”. “True” she said laughing. “lift up now” she slid a diaper under my bottom. As my bottom made contact with the diaper I got the feeling of excitement I got every time I diapered up. Ms. Darling smiled knowingly as she generously sprinkled baby powder on me and the diaper.
“What have I got on?” I asked, noticing the thickness between my legs. “A molicare” she answered, “their sizes run a little funny so I ordered them too small and was just saving them so use as stuffers or something of that nature, glad I didn’t get rid of them now”. “Lets go downstairs and fix you a bottle, how does that sound?” she said taking my hand. “Good” I said nodding and walking with her.
As we walked downstairs I could hear the wind outside really starting to blow. “Boy it sounds like its serious about this”, I muttered. “I know” she said as we walked into the living room. “Sit here and I’ll be right back”, she said walking out of the room. I sat on the couch and looked out the window it was about 7:00 at night, so it was pitch black (thanks Ohio). Glad I’m not back at the apartment, this might be kinda scary alone.
Ms. Darling walked back into the room carrying a bottle, the contents of which I could not see. She sat in a lazy boy chair and waited for me to come over. I slid off the couch and walked over to her and she guided me into her lap. She turned the TV on so we could listen to the news. I leaned into her shoulder and she popped the bottle in my mouth. Mmmm apple juice
“High winds will continue tonight as the snow continues to come down, some areas around the city are reporting as much as 6 inches in the past hour, stay tuned for more”
I snuggled closer as the TV continued to talk about how cold and dark and lonely it was outside, because I was here inside warm and safe with someone who wanted to take care of me, and who wanted to make sure I was warm, happy and comfortable.
I laid there against Ms. Darling’s chest slowly sucking the bottle and listening to the rhythmic sound of her breathing and heartbeat. I never knew how comforting that sound is… Slowly the sound of the TV faded in the background and all I could hear was her breathing and heartbeat. Maybe this is why people look for mommies and daddies, not for somebody to take away their adult life, but for somebody to love them and care for them.
Being born with a disability gave me a burning desire for every shred of independence I could have. From early childhood I had always acted like I didn’t need anybody and that I could handle it all on my own. So this was part of the reason I had never been interested in having a mommy or daddy, because I felt it was take my cherished independence. In just the last hour I realized that this was not the case at all, people looking for a mommy or daddy just wanna be loved like the rest of us. Seeking a mommy or daddy did not take away from independence, its finding the love I so desperately wanted.
Emotion flooded me as the full force of my loneliness hit me. I turned to God at age twelve and since then felt I was not alone on my walk through life. I found purpose and started enjoying life. Yet growing up with parental problems and emotional walls I felt I had missed out on a childhood. I had to be there for myself and for my parents when they needed me, at a very young age. Maybe this was God’s way of giving me a chance to feel like a little girl that didn’t have to worry about if mommy was mad at daddy, or if daddy had a bad day at work.
God I know you work in interesting ways, so I’m just gonna keep going with the flow here.
I came back to reality as I felt fingers running through my hair.
“What’s the matter sweetheart?”
Suddenly I felt my throat constrict and noticed tears on my cheeks, I looked into her brown eyes and managed to squeak “thank you”.
She responded in a voice full of emotion “you’re more than welcome”.
I moved my hand right hand up to her face and felt it was wet. Thank you God for helping us both, we need this, thank you! I moved my hand down to her shoulder and wrapped my arm around her neck. I finished the bottle and she sat it on the coffee table next to her. We continued to sit in the same position and I listened to her breathing returning to a normal pace.
I came back into reality yet again with pangs from my bladder signaling that a combination of the wine and apple juice was ready to continue it journey outside my body.
Ohh this is gonna be weird sitting on her lap, she’s gonna know…
I relaxed and let my bladder go. I felt a nice warmth spreading into sensitive areas as the diaper absorbed my pee into the padding.
“Good girl” she said as she continued to run her fingers through my hair. Dang was it that obvious…
“Well I know these diapers can take more, but I think a bath would be in order how does that sound?” A bath I don’t remember the last time I took an actual bath, shower daily yes, but a bath… eh why not?
“Ok” I said with slight apprehension.
“We will only go as far as you are comfortable with, if you prefer I can wash your hair, arms and legs and you can do the rest, would that work?” she said.
“That sounds good to me” I said in a more confident voice. She placed her hands under my arms and stood me up. She took my hand and we walked back upstairs, down the hall and into what must have been the master bedroom.
“I have one of the Jacuzzi tubs, I think you would enjoy that” she said.
“Oh yeah, sounds great” I said with excitement.
“I have baby shampoo and baby wash in my bag” I said.
“Oh don’t worry, I have more than enough” she said as she turned on the tap and walked out to the hall closet to get towels. As the large bathtub was filling she took my hand and gently pushed on my shoulder to indicate she wanted me to lie on the floor. I laid on the soft rug in front of the bathtub. She made quick work of my shirt and bra. She waited about a minute more before removing my diaper, so I wouldn’t be laying there naked waiting for the tub to fill.
When the tub was full enough she untapped the diaper and pulled it out from under me, taped it up and set it aside. She took my hand and helped me into the tub. I did not notice her adding bubble bath, but sure enough I felt the foam once my foot touched the top.
“Oh bubble bath” I said with excitement.
“Well yeah, do you know me to do anything halfway?” she asked laughing.
“No, no I don’t” I said as I sat down in the bubbly water.
I made quick work of cleaning my more private areas and Ms. Darling started washing my hair. She moved her hands in small circular movements, almost like a massage. I breathed a small sigh and felt the warm bathwater around me. My sense of touch had always been one of the most important to me, since it helped fill me in on some of what I was visually missing. So between the warm water surrounding my body and the feeling of her fingers making circular motions on my scalp, I was again lulled into a comfortable daze.
Reality came crashing back to me in the form of her spraying me in the face with the shower hose. I jumped and starting coughing and joined in her laughing. She rinsed my hair and gently washed my arms and legs. She pulled the plug on the tub and the water seemed to drain as quickly as it had appeared. She turned the shower hose on once more and I stood so my body could be rinsed.
She took my hand again as I stepped out of the tub. A large towel came into my field of vision as she wrapped it around me, and then wrapped a smaller towel around my hair.
“Alright, let’s see if that exercising is going to pay off” she said as I suddenly was lifted into the air.
“Feels like it” I said as I laid my head on her shoulder as she walked down the hallway back to the nursery.
'Now you are going to have to wear your pajamas, because all of my footed sleepers will be too big, and we can’t have you wearing only a diaper, its too cold for that." She said as she stood me in the nursery and walked downstairs to retrieve my backpack.
She walked back into the room with my opened backpack in one hand and my flannel pajamas in the other. These are a bit boring for a little girl, but they will have to due for now she said as she walked over to the changing mat that was still lying on the floor. I walked over and lay down. She lowered the sides of the towel so that I was lying naked. My hands moved instinctively to cover my chest.
“It’s ok, I’ll be quick” she said in a calming voice. “I know it has to be a bit chilly as well”.
“True that” I said, noticing the chill on my still damp skin.
She slid the diaper under me once I had raised my bottom off the mat. She generously applied the baby powder and taped the diaper snuggly shut. I sat up as she reached for my pajama shirt; she slid my left arm in and then my right arm and buttoned the shirt up the front. I stood up and she held out my pajama bottoms for me to step into; I did this while grabbing her shoulders instinctively for support.
“I think its time for little girls to be getting to bed, it’s already 10pm” she said as she walked me over to the crib.
“Sit here”, she said as she walked out of the room.
“I’ll be right back”
I sat down on the edge of the crib mattress realizing for the first time that night how tired I really was. She walked back in the room and went over and sat in the rocking chair. I slid off the mattress and walked over climbing into her lap and settling against her shoulder. I felt a rubber nipple touch my lips; I happily took my pacifier from her hand and began sucking on it.
We sat quietly for a few minutes rocking before I took out my pacifier and spoke.
“You’ve been a good mommy so far”, I said looking into her face.
“Thank you baby girl”, she said tearing up again.
I put the pacifier back in my mouth and closed my eyes; once again I gave into the input from my stronger senses. Her breathing and heartbeat, and the rocking of the chair were putting me to sleep. We sat there for a few more minutes and I was unsure if I was awake or asleep, but I felt myself being lifted into her arms.
“Goodnight sweetheart” she said as she lay my in the crib and pulled the blankets around me. I managed a soft moan in return. She gently kissed me on the forehead and quietly walked out leaving the bedroom door open.
[i]God tonight has been so great, I never thought I would thank you for bedbugs, but here I am. If it weren’t for the bedbugs none of this would have happened. Why does it have to end tomorrow morning when I go to school and she goes to work? Well I’m gonna trust you; it’s in your hands. Thank you Jesus for this day, I pray in Jesus name. Amen……
[/i]I awoke a few hours later for multiple reasons: I had a full bladder, I was thirsty and I was absolutely freezing. I took care of my bladder first, enjoying the warmth I temporarily generated for my bottom, and then I noticed a baby bottle of water lying next to me, so I drank until I was no longer thirsty. I tried to warm myself up by snuggling deeper into the blankets, but it just wasn’t working. I continued to shiver; I’m sure you could see my breath.
The wind started blowing harder and harder and finally I could not take the cold anymore. I sat up on my knees and opened my mouth just as Ms. Darling walked into the room wearing a thick bathrobe.
“I bet your cold, the wind knocked out the power” she said as show lowered the side of the crib and I held my arms out for her to pick me up.
She lifted me almost effortlessly into her arms and I wrapped my arms around her neck and laid my head on her shoulder still shivering.
“Gosh baby girl, you are cold” she said as she carried me down the stairs into the living room. She sat me in the lazy boy chair from earlier and walked back upstairs.
“I’m going to get us some blankets”
I sat in the chair for what felt like forever, shivering and listening to the wind howl outside the window. Sitting here alone listening to the wind and in the dark was getting a little scary. I became lost in the sound of the wind, so when I felt a hand touch my arm I screamed.
“It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s just me” Ms. Darling said as I stood up to let her sit down.
She pulled me into her lap and I immediately leaned against her as she covered us both with a thick blanket. She gently rubbed my back as I started to warm back up. I was warm and comfortable, and nothing could hurt me. The only sounds I could hear were her breathing and heartbeat. I felt my pacifier being pushed into my mouth, so I took it. I drifted off to sleep in no time.
I awoke the next morning to my cell phone ringing in on the kitchen table.
[i]Dang I haven’t looked at that phone since yesterday afternoon; people probably blew my phone up last night. Yep 23 text messages and 3 missed calls…
[/i]I untangled myself from the blankets and quickly made my way to the table and answered my phone. The automated phone system announced to me that my school was closed because of the level 3 snow emergency across the county.
Right on, no school today!
My bladder requested my attention after drinking that whole bottle of water earlier that morning. I stood still and relaxed and enjoyed the feeling of warmth spreading back towards my bottom. I put my hand inside my pajama bottoms and felt the smooth plastic of the purple diaper. I could tell the diaper was defiantly wet, but it wasn’t leaking. I could get used to these…
Wait, It’s not cold in here…
I switched the switch on the wall and sure enough the kitchen light came on.
Thank goodness, it’s too cold to be without heat for too long
I walked back into the living room just as Ms. Darling was sitting the phone back down on the coffee table.
“Looks like I’m not going anywhere today” she said.
“Well I don’t have to go to school today, level three snow emergency”. I said swaying back and forth slightly; the wet diaper against my sensitive skin without some kind of protective lotion was starting to make me itch.
“So it looks like I’m going to get to continue playing mommy doesn’t it?” Ms. Darling said taking my hand and leading me upstairs.
“Yeah!” I said excitedly, still somewhat distracted by the discomfort in my diaper area.
I really didn’t think it was gonna go this long, but God I’m gonna keep rolling with it here, there are no words to describe this…
We walked into the nursery and she gently pushed on my shoulder to get me to lie down on the changing mat. She retrieved the supplies she needed and sat on her knees on the floor in front of me.
“You’re a little wiggly this morning, anything wrong?” she asked looking at me.
Jeesh she sure has the mother “knowing everything” part down pretty well…
“This diaper is getting to the uncomfortable point” I said in a small voice.
“Oh mommy can take care of that” she said with a happy voice.
She pulled off my pajama bottoms at set them aside.
“Ohhh no, you’ve got a pretty good rash sweetie; I forgot the lotion last night didn’t I?” she said after she had untapped the diaper and pulled it out from under me. I nodded.
“Ohhh I’m sorry baby girl, how bad does it hurt?”
“It’s not too bad, I’ve never had a full blown rash before, but I’m guessing this is what it feels like.” I said looking up at her.
“I’ve got cream for this, I’ll be right back” she said getting up quickly and walking out of the room.
If I was at my apartment now, well first off I probably would have frozen my butt off last night. Second… well I would have been alone again, and so would she.
I had always felt I had so much to prove to people, that I didn’t need anybody and could do it all alone, but here I was I needed mommy to make it stop hurting. Surprisingly I didn’t feel weak for needing somebody, I felt fine, I felt like I was allowed to want somebody for comfort, to need somebody for comfort.
Is this teaching me to trust people God? Is that the big picture here?
I had always looking for meaning in everything, and this was no exception.
My thoughts were interrupted as Ms. Darling walked back into the room with some sort of diaper rash cream.
“It’s been a while since I had a rash myself, so I had to dig a bit” she said while pulling some baby wipes out of the container and starting to gently wipe me. I jumped slightly at her touch, but relaxed. The cold wipe did feel good on my hot skin.
She opened the tube and squeezed an amount onto her hand.
“Alright, now I’m gonna have to do this, because you’re not going to be able to see where all the red patches are, can you deal with that?”
“Yeah, I can” I said sounding more confident than I felt.
Her hand made contact with my inflamed skin and I jumped. But stayed still and she rubbed the cream into places that nobody but me had touched since I was a young child. The cream was already making it feel better.
“There is that better?” she asked cleaning her hand off with a wipe.
“Yeah, it’s starting to feel better already” I said smiling.
“Good” she said as she retrieved another diaper.
She slid the fresh diaper under my bottom and taped it nice and snugly. I sat up and she unbuttoned my pajama top and set it aside. Next she pulled a bra, a long sleeve shirt and a pair of jeans out of my bag. She slid the sports bra over my head and then the shirt. I stood and she held my pants out for me to step into. I stepped in and she pulled them up and fastened them.
“Well these are a bit of a tight fit, but they’ll have to do” she said looking me over.
I looked down, sure enough my pants fit, but it was obvious that I was thickly diapered.
“Now I need to go get ready for the day, so you need to stay in here and be a good girl” she said walking towards the door.
“Answer some of your friends on this phone so they don’t think I’ve killed you, ok” she said handing me my cell phone.
“No problem” I said laughing.
I sat down on the floor in front of the toy box as she shut the door wand walked down the hall to her room.
Well I wonder what this day has in store for me… not what I expected, but I’m game…
I sat on the floor answering text messages telling my friends that I was just kinda hanging out at Ms. Darling’s house cause of the snow. They knew I had stayed there the previous night, but wanted to know what I was going to do for the day. I told everybody that I was pretty much stuck there, and kinda bored. If only they knew what we were really up to…. He he
I stood up and walked over to the table beside the crib and set my phone down. There was another bottle of water there so I took it and stuck it in my mouth and began to drink. Where do these keep coming from??
I walked back over to the toy box and found a container of mega blocks and began to build a tower. Down the hallway I heard a door shut and the shower turn on. I started building with the mega blocks and occasionally drinking from the bottle of water until it was empty.
I heard the shower shut off and a few minutes later a door opened and I heard footsteps coming down the hallway. The door opened…
“Alright little girl, its time to eat some breakfast” Ms. Darling said as she walked over and lifted me almost effortlessly. Jeesh I’m not gonna get on her wrong side, she’s strong…
We went downstairs and she plopped me on one of the kitchen chairs and pushed it up to the table. She walked to the fridge and came back with a bottle of grape juice for me. I took it and slowly started to drink while she walked over and starting pouring cereal in a bowl. She poured some milk on the cereal and ate it as she prepared something for me.
Soon she brought over a bowl of oatmeal and a jar of gerber puree apples. I made a face I hated both oatmeal and the majority of baby food. Granted the pureed apples were somewhat ok, but I really wasn’t feeling them this early in the morning.
“Now judging by your face you don’t like this stuff, but your gonna eat what is put in front of you, do you understand?” she said handing me a spoon.
I nodded taking the spoon she was offering me. I stuck the spoon in the oatmeal and slowly started to eat. It tasted like sawdust, which is how flavorless oatmeal tastes. Ms. Darling walked over and sprinkled some sugar into the bowl. I smiled and she patted me on the head and sat down next to me and took the spoon out of my hand.
“Now we’re not gonna sit here all day are we?” she said sticking the spoon into the oatmeal and getting a bit more on the spoon then I would have liked.
“Now open your mouth” she said bringing the spoon to my mouth. I opened my mouth and took the pasty sawdust and swallowed it quickly trying to avoid the taste. We continued in this manner until the bowl was empty. She then went right for the jar of apple glue. I looked at her with a pleading look, but she didn’t buy it.
I quickly ate the jar of apple glue puree, and looked at her.
“Now go upstairs and brush your teeth” she said while taking the bowl, spoon and empty jar into the kitchen.
I got up from the table and made my way upstairs to the nursery and got my toothbrush and toothpaste out of my bag and made my way to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and looked at myself in the mirror. Note to self, brush my hair…
I took my toothbrush and toothpaste back to the nursery and put them in my bag. I found my hairbrush and ran it through my hair a few times until I was satisfied. As I put the brush back in my bag I felt my bladder telling me it was time to go, so I let go. I stood still for a minute as the diaper absorbed everything and then looked down at the front of my pants. They were a little puffier, but not too obvious.
I walked back downstairs and into the living room; I sat in the chair from last night and watched a little bit of the news that was on the TV. The electric company was still working to restore power to residences across the city, and people were being told to stay indoors. [i]No problem TV, I can do that.
[/i]“Now I need to do some work on the computer for about an hour or so, so I want you to go upstairs and play for a while ok” Ms. Darling said as she lifted me out of the chair and handed me another bottle of water.
“Ok, no problem” I said laying my head on her shoulder as we walked.
She sat me on the floor in front of the block tower I had built earlier. I took the tower apart and put the blocks away in their box. I put the box back inside the big toy box and dug through until I found some Barbie’s and Barbie clothes. I had never liked barbies when I was little, but there were a lot of clothes to dress the dolls with, so I figured why not.
I was playing for a while when a new sensation hit me. I didn’t need to pee, it was the other thing. Ohhh… what am I supposed to do?
I had done that in my diapers before, but somebody else would be cleaning it up.
I don’t think I could ever face her after doing something like that. But I can’t hold it all day, so what am I going to do?
I walked over the table I had set my phone on and looked at the time. [i]Only 8:30 and I’m probably gonna be here all day and for another night, I’m not going to be able to wait…
[/i]As this thought occurred tears came to my eyes from sheer embarrassment. I had already been uncomfortable at some points over the past 12 hours, but I was close to the point where I didn’t think I could do it. Just the idea of doing that and the person I had worked so hard to impress as a younger teenager taking care of the mess I made.
But she did wanna play mommy, and toddlers do more than produce wet diapers, but what if she didn’t wanna take it that far?
I was hit by a horrible cramp that made me double over and the urge was unbelievably strong. It had never felt like this before, like it was going to happen weather I wanted it to or not.
I bet she put something in that nasty oatmeal, I couldent see her making it, come to think of it she kept her back to me the whole time. Well I hope I’m right, if she stuck something in that oatmeal she brought this upon herself.
I was still standing by the bedside table when another cramp hit me and it was all over. It felt like an explosion of epic proportions.
Oh yeah I was drugged no question now
My stomach cramped again, more painful this time and I cried out doubling over. I started crying knowing what was going to happen next. I finished expelling everything from my lower half, still doubled over holding my stomach. I heard footsteps on the stairs and started crying harder as I stood up straight.
“What’s the matter baby girl?” she asked walking quickly into the room.
“I think you know” I said, still crying.
“Did the oatmeal move you along dear?” she said in a knowing voice.
I responded with a fresh wave of wailing. I hated feeling embarrassed, and at that moment I felt I could not relate to the ABDL’s or sissy’s who enjoyed humiliation; it was not my cup of tea at all, and never would be.
“Now don’t be embarrassed, this is all apart of being a toddler and a mommy, little girl’s use their diapers, and I wanted to make sure you did” she said taking out the changing mat and placing me on it.
She wiped the tears off of my face and started rubbing my stomach. My crying quieted down after a few minutes; I was just making little noises every once in a while, but not really crying.
“There it’s not so bad is it?” she said smiling.
“I would have appreciated some warning” I said quietly.
“I know, but I take the oatmeal out of the can when I buy it and put servings into baggies and add some laxative to some of the baggies, so after I am wearing a diaper I pick out a bag and sometimes I end up with a messy diaper and sometimes I don’t, so I wasn’t sure what you got this morning until I heard you.” She said as she started removing my pants.
I nodded, still dreading the war zone she was about to unleash upon the world. She untapped the four tapes on the diaper and I turned away. I couldn’t bear to look at her while she cleaned me up, I just couldn’t.
I don’t care if I’m in little mode or not, I just can’t do it right now…
“Sweetie it’s really not that serious, it’s better than when I eat the oatmeal. You’re smaller and you were standing up. Besides if I didn’t want to clean it up, I would have fed you something different this morning, so you can look at me and stop pouting”.
I grudgingly turned my head her direction as she started to wipe the mess off. I was able to see she was smiling. How in the world can she be smiling while cleaning that crap up? Is it because she really does care that much about me?… That’s how a real mother would be.
“You’re a good mommy” I said looking in the direction of her eyes.
“Thank you” she said her voice wavering slightly.
“I never realized how much it means to feel like somebody needs you, and how good it feels to care for someone you care about. Ever since I met you when you were younger I knew the tough girl thing could only go so far. I knew it so well, because you were and still are the picture of me. On your own, and have been for longer than you should have had to be. You grew up to early, as did I. It helped you be successful at such a young age, but it left you feeling like you were missing something. I was about your age when I really started acting on my AB feelings and it made me feel better. But in the last few years I started to wonder what it was like to take care of a small child, and you’ve provided me that opportunity, and for that I thank you”
She finished cleaning the mess and re-applying the rash cream, than sprinkled on the baby powder. She taped on the new diaper and slid my pants back on my legs. I stood up and she pulled my pants up the rest of the way and fastened them. She took the dirty diaper and placed it in a diaper pail I hadn’t noticed until now.
She walked out of the room and a few seconds later I heard her washing her hands in the bathroom. She came back in the room, and I looked at her, waiting for her to say something, anything.
“See nobody died, and now your gonna be a little lighter to carry” she said lifting me up and sitting in the rocking chair.
That did the trick I laughed and relaxed, leaning into her. I felt her stomach relax, almost as if she was exhaling, but she wasn’t. I looked up at her, wanting to make sure I wasn’t making a mistake.
“What, you didn’t think you were the only one padded today, just because I’m playing mommy, doesn’t mean I’m not wearing diapers.”
I laughed and lay my head against her chest listening to the sound of her breathing and heartbeat. We sat there together, warm and content, and both carrying a little less than we were just minutes before.
We sat there, unspeaking, for what must have been half an hour. The only thought I had was
Damn she just spewed off my life story in like thirty seconds…
I finally broke the silence.
“So before this weekend did you ever see me as an AB?”
She thought for a second before answering.
“Well no, you keep it pretty well under wraps; you always had some cute childish qualities that I never pieced together as meaning anything more, but now of course I can they have more meaning.”
Like I mentioned I am pretty small and can fit into some girls XL clothing, and I used that to my full advantage. I had a girls coat still, bright purple at that. About half of my shirts were from the girls department, they looked young but I always picked something cute, not necessarily immature. I had a girls pink footed sleeper I got from target that was one of my favorite things, but nobody had ever seen that, but that would soon be changing.
“Can I see your AB wardrobe?” I asked.
“Sure, I’ve always wanted to show off to somebody” she said standing up and sitting me in the chair and walked over to the closet.
In the next ten minutes I was shown more LG clothing than I had ever seen in my life. Dresses with matching tights, shortalls with snaps in the crotch, blanket sleepers, and cute sweatpants and sweatshirt sets. Nothing that would necessarily fall into the sissy category, but items looking like the belonged to a 2-3 year old girl. She moved on and showed me her cloth diaper and plastic pants.
I had very little experience with cloth diapering, so I learned a lot that morning. She showed me diapers that used pins, and diapers that used Velcro. I saw cloth diapers with prints, and diapers that were as snow white as my hair. Some needed plastic pants, and some had a plastic cover, so they didn’t need plastic pants. Then there were the plastic pants themselves, a rainbow of colors, blues, purples, pinks, and so much more. Then there were pants with prints, duckies, froggies, rainbows, stars (my favorite), diggies, kitties, and butterflies (another favorite of mine).
“And now, I think I’m going to take this opportunity to change” Ms. Darling announced after the last of the plastic pants had been put away.
“I think it’s going to be one of these cloth diapers, pick out a diaper and some plastic pants for me, will you dear, I would like a surprise”
I jumped up out of the chair and picked a Velcro diaper and the pair of plastic pants with stars and handed them to her. She nodded and accepted my choice and lay down on the floor.
“Now I’m not going to ask you to do this, because right now I’m still the mommy and your still the toddler, besides I know I can do this quicker” she said as she removed her pants.
I nodded in agreement sitting back down in the rocking chair, relieved, politely trying not to look at her. She had changed in what seemed like fifteen seconds and before I knew it she was standing up pulling up her pants.
I’m not sure if I would have been able to change her or not, I’ve never changed anybody bigger than a toddler. I know I would have taken longer then she did. I can’t even change my own diaper that quickly, years of practice really do help…
She finished by putting hand sanitizer on and walked over and lifting me up yet again.
“I think you can watch some cartoons while I finish the work I need to get done.”
I nodded my head as we walked downstairs. She sat me on the floor in front of the TV, and handed me the remote. I turned on PBS and was delighted to find Caillou. Ms. Darling came back into the room and handed me a bottle of vanilla soy milk.
Thank goodness she remembered I’m lactose intolerant, the mess earlier would look tame compared to what could happen if this was cow milk…
I lay back on the floor and watched TV slowly nursing off the bottle of cold vanilla goodness. I became aware of a pressure in my lower stomach and released my bladder into the dry diaper. The warm flowed down towards my bottom and was absorbed by the thirsty padding.
Yep can’t get much better than this….
I laid there on the floor watching cartons not really thinking about anything. I switched the bottle for my pacifier and laid there for three more hours, wetting my diaper once more. I must have been really involved in the TV, because the next thing I knew Ms. Darling was standing above me. I jumped about twenty feet in the air and added a little more liquid to my diaper.
“Getting into Sesame Street?” she said laughing.
I sat up and nodded.
“I’m done working for now, so how about some lunch?”
“Yeah” I said, for the first time noticing that I was hungry.
She took my hand and we walked into the kitchen. There was a Dora the explorer placemat on the table in front of my chair. She guided me into the chair and walked into the kitchen.
PLEASE no baby food!!
I can hear cabinets opening and closing and hear the fridge open and close.
Please no baby food, it sounds promising… I hope…
A few minutes later she returned with two plates. She sat one in front of me and sat her plate across the table from me. On my plate was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and carrots with ranch dressing to dip the in.
Yeesss! Real food[/i]
She went back into the kitchen and came back with two cups, an adult cup with water, and a sippy cup with some kind of juice. She handed me the cup and I took a drink.
She sat across the table and I looked up at her, not touching my food.
“No, it’s not drugged, don’t give me that look missy” she said starting to eat her salad.
I quickly picked up my sandwich and started to eat. She continued to eat her rabbit food, and I ate most of what was on my plate. I picked up my juice cup and drank it all and set the cup back down on the table.
“Alright, its time for a change, then I think your gonna lay down for an hour or so, because I’m gonna lay down, neither of us had the best sleep last night.”
“See acting like a tired little girl, proves to me you need to take a nap”
I didn’t say anything, just sat there; noticing that I could possibly be a bit tired, but I would NEVER admit it. She took my silence as enough of answer and I was lifted out of the chair. I started to say something and she stuck my pacifier in my mouth, I sighed from behind my pacifier and put my arms around her neck.
We walked upstairs and into the nursery. She laid me on the changing pad and quickly changed me, making sure to apply some fresh rash cream. I stood up and she pulled my pants up and fastened them. I stood there, still not wanting to go lay down, she lifted me and took me over to the crib and plopped me down.
“I’ll come get you in an hour, try and get some sleep, little girl or not, you’re always crabby when you don’t get enough sleep” she said handing me a bottle of water and putting the side of the crib up.
I lay down and just looked at her. She covered me up, patted me on the head and walked out of the room. I reached over for my phone on the table.
“You better not touch that cell phone either” she yelled from down the hallway.
Dang it, how does she know! Dang teachers with eyes everywhere!
I sat the phone back down after glancing at the time.
12:43 I’m gonna be here till 2 and I’m gonna go CRAZY!
After staring at the wall for a few minutes I started to drift off to sleep, I spit out the pacifier and put the bottle nipple in my mouth and gently sucked out some of the water. As I did this I slowly drifted off to sleep…
I woke up with a start; there was something cold on my face. I sat up and looked at my pillow, and sure enough the bottle had slipped out of my mouth and cold water had dripped on my pillow. I looked around the room to make sure Ms… Mommy was nowhere to be seen, and listened to make sure she wasn’t walking down the hallway.
Ok I think it’s safe
I reached out between the bars of the crib and lightly picked up my cell phone. I hit a few buttons so it would announce the time to me. It announced that the time was 2:14; it was announced a little too loud for my liking. I quickly shut the phone and sat it back down on the table and listened to the footsteps coming down the hallway.
Oh crap, the backlight, go off, GO OFF!
I stuck the bottle back in my mouth and tried to look like I wasn’t doing anything; hoping against hope that her teacher senses wouldn’t notice anything amiss. I glanced over and the screen on my phone had gone dark. I breathed a small sigh of relief.
“So did you enjoy your nap?” Ms. Darling asked as she lowered the side of the crib.
“Nope”, I said crawling over to her.
“You didn’t sleep?” she asked
“Nope” I said holding my arms out
“Stubborn butt” she said lifting me up, smiling
We were in the process of walking down the stairs when I decided it was as good a time as any to wet my diaper. I relaxed and my bladder released. She ruffled my hair and smiled.
How does she know?…
“You wanna go outside, the wind has died down”?
“Yeah” I said wiggling and trying to get down
She lightly slapped my thigh and I stopped wiggling and looked at her.
“I didn’t want to hit you, but I didn’t wanna drop you either” she said
“Sorry” I said, looking down
She stood my in the living room and lightly patted me on the head and went to get our coats and winter gear. She came back in and sat my boots in front of me. I stepped into my boots as she was putting her boots on. She put my coat, gloves and hat on. She started to put my scarf on, but I stepped back.
“I don’t wanna wear my scarf”
“Well that’s too bad, right now I’m the mommy and if I’m dressing you I tell you what you are going to wear”
I sighed as she tired the stupid itchy scarf around my neck. Next she put on my coat and zipped it up. She put on her coat, hat, gloves, and she even put in a scarf. She opened the front door and I ran out, falling right on my padded butt on the ice. She laughed and walked outside a little slower than I did.
I just sat there for a second, a little stunned. It had hurt, but not too much, just sorta stunned me a little bit. She walked over and took my hands and pulled me to my feet. I brushed the snow off my pants and started to walk around in the snow. I wandered around to the backyard and found a nice little hill to roll down.
I went to the top of the hill and felt the wind in my face. I didn’t like it because it blew snow in my face and down my jacket. So I laid down in the snow and made a snow angel, then I rolled to one side and rolled down the hill. I laughed as I rolled down the hill and snow made its way into my boots, and clothing.
I stopped at the bottom and looked up, mommy was standing there looking at me, laughing. She pulled me to my feet and started brushing the snow off. I started shivering, noticing that my diaper was wetter than I remember it being.
I wonder if that was me, or the snow, cause I don’t remember doing that
She took my hand and we walked back around to the front of the house and in the front door. She started to remove my coat, gloves, hat and scarf; I kicked off my boots. She took off her coat and winter clothing and took my hand. We walked into the living room, I was still shivering. She pushed my shoulder gently and I sat down in the chair behind me.
I heard her walk into the kitchen and open and close the refrigerator. She came back into the room with another bottle of soy milk. I stood up and she sat down and I climbed into her lap, and lay against her shoulder. She pulled the blanket from behind her and wrapped it around me. She held the bottle up to my mouth and I took it and began to drink the cool vanilla milk. She turned the TV on, the weather channel was predicting more snow this evening and tonight. People were being told to stay off the road, because we were still under a level 3 snow emergency. I heard the wind picking up again as I continued to nurse the bottle.
Looks like I’m going to be here for a few days…
I finished the bottle and turned my attention to the TV, mommy had changed the channel to nickelodeon. Fairly Odd Parents was on, so I was more than happy. About forty five minutes after finishing the bottle I had to pee again, so I let it go. I felt the familiar warmth, but then it felt a little too warm.
Oh man, I can’t stop!
“Oh, I think I should have changed a little girl’s diaper earlier” mommy said standing up with me still in her arms.
I blushed and felt the diaper squish as she stood with me in her arms. I buried my face in her shoulder out of embarrassment.
“It’s ok, little girls get leaky diapers sometimes” she said slowly rubbing my back.
We walked upstairs and into the nursery and she stood me up on the changing pad. She walked over to the closet for a new diaper. My pants were wet and starting to cool, the cold fabric was starting to get very uncomfortable. She sat a new diaper beside me and gathered up the powder and rash lotion.
“I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go change out of my wet pants, so I’ll be able to take care of you better, is that ok” she asked
I nodded and she walked out of the room. I walked over to the table where my cell phone was sitting and took the few minutes to answer some text messages. A few minutes later I heard footsteps coming back down the hallway, so I set the phone back down and walked back over to the changing pad, the cold fabric rubbing at my legs as I walked.
“Had to make sure I wasn’t going to leak too” she sad taking my hand and putting a hand on my shoulder to make me lay down.
I lay on my back and she pulled my pants off and laid them aside. She took a baby wipe and cleaned my legs where my pants had been wet. She untapped the diaper and pulled it out from under me and wiped down my still sensitive skin. The new diaper was slid under me and she reapplied rash cream and baby powder. She taped the new diaper on and pulled a pair of sweatpants out of my bag. I stood up and stepped into the pants and she pulled them up.
“Now it sounds like your going to be here until tomorrow if not later, but you need to work on some of that homework” she said.