“Hannah!” her mom promptly called from downstairs, “Aren’t you gonna come and say goodbye when I leave?”
“Yes, Mom!” back with just as much volume Hannah responded. Letting out a small sigh, being forced to put her phone activities on hold, and dreading for who was going to take her mom’s place for the night, she padded her naked feet across her carpeted room and into the hardwood halls. Descending the stairs, she could see by the front door her mom; dolled up in a navy blue dress, blonde hair decorated with curls, face with light amounts of makeup, and a pair of matching heels. She wore a simple silver-chain necklace, and was currently busy with the earings she always wore to match it.
Each step of the way as Hannah got closer to the bottom, she could feel the slight shift in her underwear, and the small, yet noticeable bulk from her thicker than average underwear. It almost made her teary-eyed remembering just a few nights ago how far she’d fallen. Underneath her loose shorts, she could sometimes feel the elastic bands brush against her skin, and oh did it make her skin crawl.
“Do you have to go out tonight, mom?” there was a tinge of whine in Hannah’s voice, and given what she could expect from tonight, it was well-justified. If it were within her power to prevent her mom from leaving at night, she’d do whatever possible.
“It’ll only be for a little bit, sweetie,” her mom consoled, yet still busy looking into the mirror. “I promise I’ll give you a kiss goodbye, and one when I get back tonight,” her next statement was enough to get her to look at her daughter, though, “but don’t think that means you get to stay up.”
Not only did she frown because her mom had no intentions of changing her plans, but also because Hannah had the pleasant reminder of her bedtime. 8:30 was such a cruel and unfair time to be sent to bed. It was when all the good shows started to come on! It wasn’t like this always. Maybe a month ago her mom used to be so much more lax compared to now. But now, Hannah already started to feel annoyed remembering the laundry list of unfortunate occurrences. And when she shuffled her legs, the plastic garment between her legs really threatened to bring back all her deep-seated hatred. Everything in her life had been fine. No bedtimes, no babysitters, no belittling, mandated bathtimes, child locks, or any other sort of thing that would defy the typical routine of a 14-year old girl. And especially, no pull-ups.
“Can’t I have a later bedtime, please? Everyone else in my class can stay up until 10!” It was an exaggeration, and she didn’t really know how long everyone else could, but at least for her closer friends, she knew for a fact they didn’t get sent upstairs at 8:30. Hannah had tried to negotiate removing the limit altogether, but her mom had been hardwired to shut that idea down altogether. The best Hannah could try now was to mitigate what felt like her permanent losses. The cause of all this destruction and despair would be coming to watch her tonight, and like a calamity she never didn’t bring some sort of even worse development along with her. Since her last visit, Hannah’s mom had suddenly become relaxed to the idea of timeouts in the corner. For an eighth grade girl! It all started with the earlier bedtime, but originally it was 9:30! Then that damn babysitter, whatever she did, convinced her mom to not only give her one, but then knock it down by an hour! She didn’t even know her own mom anymore. She did, but it felt like Hannah’s mom was a proxy when it came to raising her daughter. The emotion was all there, but her rationale…it felt chillingly displaced.
At times Hannah felt like she wasn’t seen as a 14-year old in the eyes of her mom. Certainly not when she’d been demoted to pull-ups full-time. It was another permanent life-changing act completely out of the blue, and seemingly taking place after the babysitter’s visit. And what scared Hannah even more was when she felt like she actually needed to depend on them. A few weeks earlier there wasn’t so much as an issue with her bladder whatsoever. But all it took were a few visits from the neighborhood teen, and Hannah was starting to feel…scarily uncertain about her own habits. Especially in class nowadays did she feel her newly weakened bladder strain the most.
There were days where she was fine, and felt like a girl who had known panties for all her life, and was certainly misplaced in the underwear department. And others? Other days…she wasn’t so proud to admit that her pull-up wouldn’t be so dry by the time she reached a toilet… Some of her teachers were terribly restricting about letting students to the bathroom, but that never used to be an issue. Never until now. Never until her mom started hiring that woman. It all felt supernatural; the presence of her babysitter being enough to flip Hannah’s entire life upside down. She knew it was ridiculous to think that way, but the coincidence was almost terrifying…
“I think 8:30 is a perfect time for you,” nonchalantly, Hannah’s mom like at many other times dismissed her plea. “I don’t want you staying up so late, anyways. You need your sleep, honey.”
Using the only tool she had left in her arsenal, and one she hated more than anything to acknowledge, Hannah said, “B…but if I could stay up later, maybe I…maybe the chance of me wetting the bed would be smaller?” As the words came out she grew more and more meek, as well as embarrassed. This was one of the worst effects. With her pull-ups and unexpected bladder troubles, a certain absolute at night had become the bedwetting. A few weeks ago it was maybe once or twice a week. The next, it had upped itself to a steady three. Now? Now even Hannah knew going to bed without protection was non-negotiable, and expecting to wake up dry was wishful thinking. There wasn’t a single night left where she would wake up dry. And even if there was, her mom would probably write it off as a fluke, even if she would try and sound encouraging.
Her mom merely looked sympathetic; signing how she was going to disappoint her daughter further, saying, “That’s an interesting idea, sweetie, but I don’t think the bedwetting will stop if we let you stay up later. Then you’d be tired, too.” Hannah’s cheeks burned, hearing her mom write off the bedwetting as a hopeless cause. But even if it were true, what else could she hope for if she didn’t fight? If she didn’t show some form of resistance, her mom’d probably think of it as the greenlight to stick her back into diapers! The sudden irony in her thought had her biting her lower lip in aggravation, though. For the daytime, that is.
“Speaking of which,” her mom started to apply another light layer of lipstick, “I should probably pick you up another package of Pampers while I’m out…” she seemed to have made a mental note. “We’re starting to run a little bit low, and unfortunately your daytime pull-ups just won’t do the trick at night,” her voice trailed as her own appearance was clearly at the forefront of her mind, whilst her daughter felt like she’d been punched in the gut.
Yes. She wore nighttime diapers. Her mom had taken advantage of the girl’s smaller than average size by using the largest size of Pampers they offered. What was even worse was the fit of the dreaded things. It was near perfect. They did their job well, and it was never a fun morning to see a yellow and discolored Elmo greeting her after a departure from pleasant dreams. She often stirred in her sleep, so somehow it was a common occurrence to partway slip off her pajama bottoms in her sleep, and sure enough showcase a liberal amount of her diaper while she slept. Hence why she stopped going to sleepovers as of late.
Mornings were never fun, because not only was she guaranteed to wake up wet, but she was powerless to do anything about it. Her mom insisted on having exclusive control of her diapers, because she needed to know if her bedwetting “was improving or not.” But even from there she extended her personal control into the daytime section as well. Right after being let out of her diaper, it’d be straight into a pull-up her mom was sure to have ready for her. The gradual lack of control she was having over her own clothes was beyond annoying, and she had no idea how to solve it. How to solve any of this.
“Can’t we please start using pull-ups instead? Nighties? Don’t they sell those?” in a desperate cry, Hannah tried to at least curb the infancy that was gradually increasing in her life.
“They do, but not as cheap for what I can get your diapers for. And what’s wrong with those? Do you not like them?”
“Of course I don’t like them!” Hannah continued to whine, a few tears in her eyes. “I’m not a baby, mom! Could you at least treat me like you’re supposed to?”
Her mom’s brows furrowed, but she still never looked from the mirror. “The diapers can stop as soon as the bedwetting does,” her mom said, dimissing Hannah’s comment about disliking them. “But until then, I think you should be much more grateful that you can still fit in them.”
As if she were supposed to appreciate a benefit exclusive to her mother’s pursestrings. She wanted to openly fume, but knew that her mom might suddenly be willing to dish out spankings now, too. Hannah didn’t want to test that theory, and angrily sulked on the stairs, feeling the slight press of her dry pull-up whilst she sat.
“Can…can we at least change babysitters?”
Again, totally oblivious to Hannah’s inner struggles, her mom questioned, “And why would we do that? I think Mary’s been doing a great job with you. You two have fun, don’t you? She always has good things to say.”
Sure she did. Maybe for her mom, and how she could be a “better” parent her daughter. But for Hannah it was stupid. Whenever she’d come over, they’d talk about girl stuff, makeup, fashion, watch movies…eat a tasty dinner…play games…
Okay, so what? Maybe she was alright. But god if she couldn’t be condescending sometimes! She reminded her so much of her mom now, or maybe it was better put as the other way around. It was partly why she suspected the girl without any real reason. Hannah was a young adolescent, but at the same time in Mary’s eyes just another charge she needed to look after. The sudden potty reminders that came with her demotion to pull-ups was beyond demeaning, but unfortunately more helpful than Hannah’d like to admit…
“Listen Hannah,” her mom full turned from the mirror. “I know things have been tough lately with your potty training,” potty training? “but that’s no good excuse to vent in other ways. Mary has nothing to do with what’s been going on, and from the sound of it has been very supportive. You’re lucky to have a babysitter that doesn’t mind checking your pull-ups and putting on your nighttime diaper.”
Oh how much a matter of perspective it was. Her mom could not even begin to imagine what it was like to be a kid, and try to live your life while being acknowledged as a toddler. And aside from all that, including this pointless conversation, Hannah still found herself hung up on the strange, and misplaced “potty training” remark.
“Think you can chin up for me tonight and be good for Mary?” In a thoughtful voice, she spoke as if she assumed herself to be sweetening the pot. “Tell you what: be a good girl for Mary tonight, and keep that pull-up dry for the rest of the night too, and maybe we can talk about getting some panties back in your dresser?”
As if instinct commanded, Hannah’s ears perked up at the sound of the last few words, though hating to have loved the thought of getting her panties back. But it was painful to remember she’d lost them in the first place. It was yet another shameful tactic of her mother to eliminate any “unnecessary distractions.” Hannah hadn’t known what it was like to wear underwear any thinner than at least an inch for almost a month now, and the thought welled her with despair. She was ashamed to admit that the deal sounded enticing…
That being said, Hannah still hadn’t forgotten her mom’s previous comment.
“But Mom, what did you say about-” She was interrupted by the ring of a doorbell.
“Oh! She’s already here!” quickly dismissive of Hannah’s question, she already went for the door.
“Is it really that time already?” her mom muttered to herself whilst Hannah rose from her seat on the stairs and followed behind. Her heart sunk as she knew who it was. The one she had such mixed feelings for. A caring and seemingly genuine person, but someone Hannah considered to be the root of her problems for no identifiable reason whatsoever. She’d been coming for so long, it was almost hard to distinguish whether the problems started before or after her arrival.
The pair welcomed each other with happy greetings as they gave each other a hug.
“You look beautiful, Ms. Finn!” happily commenting, the babysitter brushed part of her own black hair back, simply in awe at the mother’s appearance.
“Really?” she looked thankful, and she looked down at herself one last time. “I was almost afraid I messed up somewhere along the way…” The two shared a laugh, and then Mary looked past Hannah’s mom, directly over to the shorter girl, mouthing a silent ‘hi’ with a gentle wave.
A sudden chill crept over Hannah, or an odd sensation the very least. She assumed it as cold, namely because it felt as if all the warmth inside of her had just been drained. Drained, and…and absorbed…? Wordlessly, and lacking concern for her surroundings, Hannah pressed her hand against her crotch, and was more than displeased to find it warmer than a dry pull-up should be, and it was hardly a small accident by any sense of the word. Hannah did her best to grit her teeth and hope she could take care of the mishap unnoticed.
“We’ve already been through the routine so much, I doubt there’s much need for a repeat,” Hannah’s mom chuckled, skipping the nightly introduction, much more upbeat and cheery than Hannah and the state of her pull-up.
Mary, who looked to be the epitome of preppy senior high school girl, giggled in response as she probably felt the same way, but was far too polite to agree, nor state it first. She had her usual purse slung over her purple sweater, and swayed her hips the slightest bit, probably unintentionally, though all captured by her snug-fitting jeans.
“But if you could,” Hannah’s mom started to sound apologetic, yet pleading, “please make sure Hannah gets to the potty on time?” on cue, Hannah could feel her dignity being shattered at that very moment. Mary listened intently, with just as much concern plastered on her face, yet coupled with much more confidence and assurance than Hannah was feeling right now. “It hasn’t been getting much better lately… I made a deal with her, and we’re both looking forward to seeing her make good on it,” she looked thoughtfully back to Hannah, who was trying her best to not be too agitated.
“No problem at all, Ms. Finn,” Mary continued to smile. “I usually try to get them on the potty about every half hour. Even if they don’t know they need to go, it might help them realize in the future.” Them. It was such a vague word, yet far too inclusive than Hannah would like. It encompassed all the countless bedwetters and struggling daytime goers who had yet to fully master the potty, and Hannah had just been lumped in with them. Even if it was true, she didn’t want to acknowledge it. Mary came from a good place, but it still hurt no less.
“Speaking of which, there’s no harm in checking now, I suppose…” catching Hannah of guard, her mom so casually knelt down in front of her, grabbing her shorts by the waistband and giving them a simple tug after a quick stroke with the button, easily slipping past the sleek pull-up, giving both her mom, and Mary an easy view of her borderline infantile underpants.
“Uh-oh,” Mary was the first to sound sympathetic, and say it with a face as if she herself could feel the pain, “looks like you forgot to go, Hannah…”
Hannah’s mom could only let out a small sigh in disappointment as she further embarrassed Hannah by giving the crotch an inspecting squeeze, which only seemed to upset her further given how warm it was. The telltale stars on front had faded; a system both her mom and the babysitter were far too experienced to not recognize.
“And we just talked about this…” passively, her mom remarked. Hannah, unable to do much about her growing sobs now, stared at her mom, hopeful for forgiveness in place of the public embarrassment she’d just been forced into.
“Could I please have a…” Hannah paused to sniffle, “a second chance?”
Her mom smiled, but not in the way that Hannah wanted her to. It was the smile any parent would give when they were trying to soften the blow. There was a cruel fate hiding behind her mom’s expressions, and it was obvious because Hannah could tell she was trying to protect her from it. And with few places to go; few steps left until total babydom, she quivered at what might be in store for her.
“Maybe we can try tomorrow,” she took a moment to hoist Hannah’s wet pull-up back into place, and the shorts came right after, despite normally being the first one to suggest getting her changed into a new one whenever this sort of thing happened. And unfortunately, it did happen more than once. But this time, it felt as if Hannah had taken another step back, and her mom wasn’t feeling so prompt to stick to the potty training regimen anymore.
“But…but mom…!” She always had her get changed whenever she’d wet her pull-up, even when she was right about to leave! But that second command didn’t follow, and Hannah could feel herself wanting to desperately cling to her pull-ups now; prove that she could keep them dry. Hannah wanted her mom to get mad; angrily change her into a dry pull-up. At least that way she’d know that her mom still held expectations for her. Yet…yet, they never came.
“I need to get going now, sweetie. Just…just don’t worry about this for now, okay?” She kissed the broken Hannah on the forehead. “I want you to have a fun night with Mary.” Still, Hannah felt like her mom had lost a fragment of hope; respect for her daughter, as she stood back up. She gave her daughter a pensive, lingering look for a few moments longer, then shifted her focus.
“Same as usual, Mary,” Hannah’s mom transitioned back into her happy self again, now that it wasn’t about her daughter’s failed attempt to keep her pants dry. “8:30, and in a nighttime diaper, please.”
Still all smiles, Mary assured her yet again, and then her mom grabbed her purse sitting on the table near the door.
“Come on, Hannah,” Mary politely suggested in a hushed tone, gesturing to the sulking girl. “Mommy’s leaving! You need to say goodbye!” As if her mom were in agreeance too, she made the awkward ordeal even easier by getting on one knee again with open arms. Hannah was the one to close the distance, despite being terribly mindful of the wet bulk between her legs, as well as how it wasn’t much of a secret anymore. It wasn’t massive, but it was certainly there, and Hannah could tell, much like her mom and Mary could.
Hannah was actually thankful for the hug and kiss, because it felt reassuring in spite of what’d just happened. Her mom had been disappointed, yet at least this way Hannah still knew she loved her… Though, what Hannah did her best to stomach was when she was wrapped in her mom’s arms, she could feel the back of the waistband to her shorts and pull-up being tugged at now.
“Mom…!” flustered, unable to properly react, Hannah could only tearily whine the culprit’s name, and be relieved once her underwear finally slipped back into place.
“Sorry, sweetie. I just wanted to make sure there weren’t any surprises in the back, either.” She let out a small laugh; the kind that was trying to force an already bad situation into something more upbeat. But for Hannah, it was just another insult to her pride; a sign of how far she’d fallen in the eyes of her mother. In the eyes of herself.
Never once had she messed herself, and even amidst all this turmoil, that was the one thing Hannah was positive would never happen to her. It was an iron absolute, and she’d be damned if someone suggested otherwise. Her mother already expressed her doubts by checking in the back… It made Hannah feel terrible.
It hadn’t even been a whole 15 minutes and she’d shattered the expectations her mom had set for her. The ones that were meant to last the entire night.
With her final goodbyes, Hannah’s mom wished them both a good night. Mary saw her off as she slipped out the door, and the responsible teen was sure to lock the door from behind. As soon as she left, Hannah felt as if a weight had been both simultaneously lifted and dropped on her shoulders. Her mom had finally left, and the lingers of disappointment in the room didn’t feel so potent now. But on the other hand, she was now alone with the mysterious anomaly which seemed to unintentionally cause so much havoc. It was likely paranoia, but Hannah still couldn’t shake the strange feeling…
And when Hannah moved, she could feel one last small spurt of pee escape her; a likely remainder to the full wetting she apparently hadn’t finished. It was enough to remind her of her helplessness though, as tears started to silently roll down her cheeks.
The much more chipper Mary turned from the door after watching the mother’s car leave the driveway and was stricken with concern as she saw Hannah devolve into a miserable mess.
“Hannah? Honey, what’s wrong?” quickly she came to the girl’s aid, although much to Hannah’s dismay, as she tearily noted the girl who was a mere handful of years older than her used such a condescending pet name. But even in spite of all that, it did little to shift the focus of Hannah’s tears.
“Because!” Hannah frustratingly spat, feeling a small urge to stomp her foot. “I can’t do one simple thing! I’ve been wearing these stupid pull-ups for weeks now, and it’s only getting worse!” The vocal admittance only made Hannah cry harder, as her world came crashing down. Her mom was probably busy thinking how she could ease her back into diapers right now; do away with the hopeless struggle between panties and pampers altogether.
“Hey, hey…” Mary continued to sooth as she started to rub Hannah’s back. “Why are you being so hard on yourself?”
“I’m not supposed to be wetting my pants, Mary!” Hannah irritatingly shouted. It wasn’t Mary’s fault, probably. It’s not like she put the pee in Hannah’s pull-up for her, but she didn’t feel in the mood for pointless consoling. Words wouldn’t make this better. Words wouldn’t keep her pull-ups dry.
“It’s just a small hiccup, that’s all,” seemingly unbothered by Hannah’s annoyance, she pulled the girl in for a hug. “I know you’re gonna get over this, trust me. I’ve seen it all the time.”
Sniffling, Hannah responded, “re…really?”
“Of course!” with a more positive tone, likely seizing the opportunity to make the sun shine once again, Mary responded with enthusiasm. “In fact, I know some kids that haven’t had trouble with just peeing, either…” leaning in close, Mary shared her encouraging gossip. “And even those kids were able to bounce back,” she leaned back, as if the invisible spectators were allowed to hear now. “So I know you can too!”
“But…” Hannah was listening with inspiration, but the reality of her mistakes was still much more tangible than her hopes. “But my mom…! You saw how she reacted! She probably hates me right now. How is she supposed to trust me if I can’t last 20 minutes?!”
“She might be a little upset, sure,” Mary conceded, but was quick to not let the negative statement last for too long, by adding, “but she still loves you very much. Nothing would change that.”
It was only her babysitter saying those words, but they felt oddly reassuring…
“I just want her to treat me fairly again…” sadly, Hannah spoke with better days on her mind. “Nothing I say seems to get through to her anymore.” Hannah grimaced already from remembering the diapers debate.
“Well, you know I have a way with words?” temptingly, Mary spoke with the slightest amount of hopeful mischief in her voice.
“Really?!” Suddenly all-ears now, Hannah for the first time that night clearly stared at the teen with genuine hope; rays of salvation shining in her eyes. Mary hadn’t explicitly said she’d do anything, but her allusions were far too obvious to not assume.
“Sure, why not?” Mary smirked, knowing full well she’d just coaxed her happy charge back out of a dreary spell. “I can let your Mommy know it was one big fluke, because it was, right?” she looked at Hannah for confirmation, who nodded her head until it was ready to fall off. “I think she’ll understand after I let her know what a good night we had. Because that’s what we’re gonna do, right?” again, although slightly more reluctant, Hannah agreed once more.
And as a side note, Hannah was once more attentive to her babysitter’s mannerisms, this time being the mention of “mommy” instead of a simple “mom.” Strange, but not nearly enough for Hannah to say anything, especially when this was the person who could finally talk some sense into her mom.
“Great. Then that’s what’s gonna happen!” Giving her hand a gentle squeeze, Mary tickled the center of Hannah’s palm with the nail of her thumb; something she always liked to do. Giving her skin the tickles though, Hannah quickly pulled hers away, as it’d already given her arm goosebumps.
“But before we kick the night off, do you wanna get into something a bit more dry?” trying to be mindful, Mary notioned towards Hannah’s wet pull-up. Blushing, Hannah silently agreed.
“I’ll meet you upstairs, then,” she patted Hannah affectionately on the head. “Give me just a few minutes?”
Hannah didn’t wait long after until she was already headed up the stairs. She was more than capable of changing her own pull-ups, but again, her mom had made it a point to limit access to both herself and Hannah’s babysitter. In that regard it was the one silver lining to these things. They could slip off as easily as they came on; just like panties. But whenever her mom put her in her nighttime diapers, they were staying on for the night. That’s what made some of the earlier nights especially frustrating. She’d wake up feeling the tight stretch on her bladder, only to be forced to wet the diaper because her mom wouldn’t let her take it off. Last time she did it ended in a timeout, and no phone for the day…
Hannah could only sigh in relief now that she had someone on her side for once. It’d always been a one-sided battle, but not anymore now that Mary was with her. Maybe…maybe she wasn’t so bad after all? Mindlessly, Hannah slipped her hands into her front pockets as she felt as if she were on cloud 9 right about now. Things were finally going right, and all she needed to do tonight was relax. And she did. Far more than she would have liked.
A sudden rush of pee slithered from out of her bladder, and unannounced it pooled into her pull-up. Just at the top of the stairs, Hannah gasped in a panic as she was helpless to stop her second accident. She felt worse with every ounce her underwear absorbed, and nearly screamed when it became clear she’d pushed the thing far beyond capacity. The dribble slapping against the hardwood sounded like a jet engine once it leaked through her denim shorts and collided with the ground. Frozen in place, her face contorted with shame as her body finished its business, and she became a spectator to her own bladder which had a mind of its own.
What…what happened?! She barely felt anything at all! And didn’t she just wet? So why was it already happening again so soon?!
“Hannah?” Mary’s voice called from the bottom of the stairs, already getting closer. “Do you have a pull-up ready?”
Still silent, Hannah’s mind raced a mile a minute as she couldn’t even begin to figure how she was going to get out of this one. Much worse, she’d probably just guaranteed that Mary would be backing out on their deal. Even Hannah couldn’t blame her. She wanted it to be a fluke, but this was far too coincidental. The front of her shorts and around the legs were harshly dampened, and there was a small puddle of pee sitting on the wood. Even in front of the light mix of brown and orange wood could she still see the distinct, yellow tint.
“Okay, let’s get you all cleaned…up…?” Mary started her sentence with a casual tone, but it quickly morphed into confusion as she rounded the corner on the stairs to see Hannah planted awkwardly on top of them. There was one small, final drip from the edge of her shorts, and when it made its tiny plop with the ground, the house stayed silent.
“Why…?” the single word was simple, set packed with every negative emotion the young girl could imagine and drum up within herself. She questioned not herself, nor Mary, but fate which had dealt her these cards. Sodden and sopping, her legs were now far apart. “I just went…so why?” As she emptily murmured, as pair of arms wrapped around her neck, and hung themselves downward. Feeling the bigger girl press from behind her, the sign of affection and comfort was much too overwhelming to not have a breakdown.
“I don’t get it!” between her sobs, Hannah shouted. “I can barely tell when I need to go!” Having a single accident was already bad enough, but a second one and so ridiculously soon was enough to mentally push her over the edge. She didn’t want Mary’s hug to stop, but it didn’t make her feel much better.
“Hannah, please,” Mary spoke hurtfully, as if the girl’s distress were poison to her. “I want you to focus on having fun tonight! Can we please not stress over the small stuff?”
“This isn’t small, though!” The disconnect between the two was now clear, given that wet pants only seemed to matter to the one responsible for them. “Everytime I screw up, my mom uses it as a reason to baby me even more!” There was no room for failure, because anything short of success meant two more permanent steps back, which is why every mishap had the weight of the world crashing on her.
“Come on, Hannah, please, I just wanna make you happy again!” She spun the girl around so that she could meet her eye to eye, but Hannah looked no less sadder, and if anything, worse. She didn’t want to meet the face of someone who caught her pants covered in pee.
“Go ahead!” Hannah spat bitterly, already knowing what was to follow now. “Tell my mom I wet myself again. Tell her…” Hannah’s bottom lip quivered, finishing her words, “tell her I can’t handle pull-ups…”
“Hannah, there’s no need to be so upset…” Mary continued to speak in calming tones and coos, clearly involved in her efforts to make things right again.
“How about…” Mary seemed to be thinking for a moment, “how about we sweep this under the rug altogether? All of tonight? As far as I’m concerned, no accidents ever happened, and we got you to the potty whenever you needed it.”
It was a godsend, and it was the next best thing compared to dropping off the face of the planet; escape her irreversible mistakes. But it almost felt like she were dreaming. The deal sounded too good to be true.
“But why?” Hannah’s sobs started to die down as she rubbed her eyes, “why would you do that for me?”
Mary gave Hannah’s cheek a light stroke, smiling, “because I hate seeing you so sad, silly. I’d much prefer seeing you with a smile!” Unintentionally, an involuntary smirk escaped Hannah over the overflowing affection, which had Mary laughing happily.
“Now come on, no more tears,” Mary spoke reassuringly, giving Hannah a few final pats. “Want some help getting cleaned up?” Mary asked, holding an outstretched hand.
Hannah eyed it almost nervously, but given how accepting Mary had been, as well as helpful, it almost felt wrong to deny her any further…and she felt like she could honestly use an emotional crutch right about now. Accepting the girl’s soft, yet firm hand, they made a brief walk to the bathroom, whilst Hannah grimaced from needing to take normal strides in pee-covered pants. The added layers to it all just made it feel wrong. She was in a soaked pull-up, but on top of that so were the clothes covering it. It was like she shouldn’t have been wearing the pull-up at all. Now it just felt like an unnecessary barrier; delaying the inevitable.
Inside the white-tiled bathroom, Mary stood Hannah in place. Just as Hannah was about to go for her shorts, Mary had already been working at the button before she herself could even actualize the thought. While the right to remove her own pants were taken from her, Hannah longingly looked at the toilet. It felt like she was seeing a stranger, or a long lost friend. A once well-acquainted pair now becoming more estranged with each ‘little accident’ she had. To use it was a sign of maturity, and though it was so close right now; in the flesh, it couldn’t have felt any farther away. What was a cruel reminder to dismiss the big-girl thoughts and to remember exactly why she was using the toilet less and less, was when she felt her shorts taking a brief moment to work themselves around the puffy crotch of her underwear.
It wasn’t a fun sight to see, and was a stark contrast to the simple colors and plain designs Hannah was so used to seeing in normal panties. Along with the thin, breathable fabrics, flexible feel, and sense of maturity, everything Hannah had known to be commonplace in regards to her underwear had been shifted entirely. In place of her comfortably-cut panties that knew just how to maintain a level of modesty without being so overbearing, a pink pull-up decorated in moons and stars–correction, once decorated in moons and stars, now sagged heavily around her hips in place of what all her friends had the privilege of wearing. Instead, for Hannah, she was stuck with the underwear that had clearly been pushed beyond its comfortable capacity for absorbency’s sake.
Hannah started to blush again being back on full display, but for the most part it was all in her head, given that she could feel no ridicule coming from Mary; just sympathy.
“Step out for me, please?”
Reluctantly, and while Mary still had a hold on Hannah’s wet shorts, she could feel the wet denim brush across her skin and damp inner thighs as Mary lowered them to her ankles. She stepped out of the one thing barely coming even close to hiding her shame. Maybe in another, dryer life they had done their job well, but now the wet stains on them were far too telling.
“Okay, I’ll be right back. Think you’ll be good for a few minutes?” The question was probably rhetorical, but seeing as Hannah had just had two accidents within a handful of minutes between each other, she didn’t receive it that way…
Mary sauntered off and out of the bathroom, with Hannah’s wet shorts in hand; the last article which shrouded her absorbent indignity. Left with only but her thoughts, Hannah could only find that by focusing on her bladder 100% did she feel any real sense of security. Although she wasn’t sure how certain it was, the next pull-up would certainly not face the same fate as this one; not by a longshot. This time with a tinge of smugness, Hannah forgot about how silly she might seem, clad in a wet pull-up, when she looked at the toilet; certain of where she’d be next time nature called.
It wouldn’t be fun to be changed into a pull-up by Mary, and also make constant trips to the bathroom, assuming what she said earlier was true, but even Hannah knew that some of the tougher things in life were simply worth fighting for. She was already caught in a poor streak, and she’d do anything to fix that now.
Just as she was about to start counting bathroom tiles, Mary’s distant footsteps could be heard again, and they grew louder and louder until she had returned. With a skirt, and likely a pull-up bundled underneath it, she held the items in one hand and a package of wipes in the other. Seeing the “Baby Wipes” branding on it didn’t make Hannah feel great, but reaffirming herself, she grit her teeth. If she could get through a little bit of humiliation now, she could be the mature, young adult which fate was hellbent on trying to prevent.
“Ready to get all cleaned up?” Mary smiled as she looked at the red-faced girl, quickly coming to terms with how her bark was certainly larger than her bite. Meekly, she nodded her head as Mary inched closer, kneeling to the ground to have a better handle on her charge.
“M…Mary?” Hannah quickly broke the silence, suddenly feeling desperate to have some sort of distraction. She didn’t feel herself wanting to take in each and every speck of what was about to happen.
“Mhm? What’s up?” Mary responded with a casual tone, despite doing something so embarrassing to Hannah as she tore the sides of her wet pull-up, and the underwear for a brief moment still clung to her skin. The adhesion caused from her recent accidents still remained, and clearly feeling uncomfortable, Hannah wiggled her hips the slightest bit just to get the accursed thing off. Thankfully it didn’t take long for the motions to separate the thing from her skin, and it hit the ground with a slight crinkle and squish; one last reminder to what had been done in it.
No tears. I’m done wetting myself, remember?
“Wh…why do you babysit?” Hannah asked, feeling her heart beat faster as the circumstances grew more and more unappealing. She’d probably asked before, but she was too flustered to really think about the semantics; too desperate for a conversation, or an outlet for her attentions. She watched as the girl she wanted respect from changed her wet pull-up into a dry one. How could she be seen as an equal if she couldn’t even keep her underwear dry? She felt small, and as if Hannah were unconsciously looking for a reason to belittle herself further, she took glaring notes of how Mary curved all over. And here Hannah was, with only curves coming from the crotch of her inflated pull-up.
In regards to Hannah’s question, whether she had asked before on a previous night or not, Mary didn’t seem to give any indication, as she answered, “Well…I suppose I’ve always liked taking care of kids, you know?” The way she ended it on a “you know,” wasn’t actually what she meant, but was a typical way of ending an answer even you weren’t sure of yourself.
Hannah wasn’t keen to hear that she fell into that category right now. Needing to be taken care of. She had figured the babysitting would have stopped this year after her fourteenth birthday, but she suddenly jolted as the cold, wet wipe touched her skin.
“Sorry about that, I know it’s a little cold…” Mary spoke, looking genuinely apologetic.
Hannah blushed furiously as what was already happening came to the forefront of her mind. Her babysitter had a full view of her privates, and private toilet habits, and she was in charge of both of them. Hannah grimaced to herself as she thought about Mary. She was old; a teenager getting ready to move onto college; primed for handling adult responsibilities, and long past the issue of holding her bladder. She didn’t wear pull-ups, and she didn’t have to worry about wetting the bed. Well, neither did Hannah, but that was because of certain ‘protective’ measures… Almost shaking her head from side to side, just to chase the thought away, she tried to take stock in a mundane bar of soap in the shower while Mary did her work.
She wanted to disobey, and insist on doing it herself. Sure, she’d never personally handled her own cleanup after something like this, but that’s because her mom never let her! It was people like Mom and Mary who were supposed to take charge, but Hannah wanted to prove them wrong. But, if she did try to protest, she’d likely only make trouble for Mary…and she was honestly trying to help. Just as she was becoming desensitized to the cold wet wipe, Mary ended it with a few last strokes between the legs, then discarded the wipe.
“I probably should have gotten a towel…” passively, Mary remarked, looking around to see where they might be. But Hannah didn’t really pay any attention, because now that they’d run the first two laps, she felt confident that she could send it home.
“Wait, Mary?” Hannah asked again, garnering Mary’s attention once more. Suddenly, she tried not to mind how she was naked from the waist down, but rather focused on wanting to be the one who changed that. “Can…can I put on the pull-up myself?”
Mary was silent for a moment, then said,“W, well…I don’t see why not,” almost sheepishly answering, but smiled with an expression that uncomfortably told Hannah that she was hiding something. Something Hannah was afraid to discover. “But…” her voice trailed, as her eyes moved over to the skirt wrapped around the pull-up.
Despite Mary’s unusual awkwardness, Hannah was already swelling with pride to finally have a sense of agency. Confidently, she made a small stride to the pull-up underneath, and grabbed it through the skirt’s fabric. But clearly the skirt was thick, because the folded pull-up within it certainly felt so.
Unwrapping the pull-up from the skirt, Hannah pulled it into clear view as she realized what was in her hand wasn’t a pull-up. Far from it. As she stared down at the white garment, all too familiar Elmo caricatures stared at her with smiling expressions. Panic had seized her voice, as Hannah wordlessly continued to stare at the diaper, in utter shock from its sudden and untimely arrival. What had it done with her pull-up? Suddenly, she felt as if she were looking at an enemy which had disposed of her treasured friend. She felt like she could gag when she squeezed the thick layer of plastic and cotton, all wrapped into a disposable, infantile package. This was only supposed to come out right before bed! So…so why? With disappointed curiosity, she turned back to Mary, on the verge of breaking into two.
Now she understood why Mary had answered so reluctantly. Hannah could put on the next pull-up. That is, if there ever was a next time.
“A diaper?” thickly Hannah whined. “I only wear these for bed! I’m supposed to be wearing pull-ups!” She wanted to say panties, but she at least wanted to sound rational…
“I know, Hannah I know,” quick to console, Mary put a comforting hand on Hannah’s shoulder, but she still felt terrible. “But will you at least hear what I have to say? Please?”
Already wiping a frustrated tear from her eye, Hannah remained silent, apart from her sniffles. Mary must have assumed the silence meant yes, because she continued.
“Hannah, you’ve already had two accidents since I got here, and we’ve still got a lot of nighttime left…” the way she spoke in such an unintentionally condescending way, suggesting that Hannah wasn’t up to the challenge. “I know you want to wear your pull-ups,” she spoke as if she knew Hannah down to a T, when that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Hannah by no means wanted to wear these stupid things at all! She wanted panties, not some childish substitute! Pull-ups were at least the limbo between adulthood and babydom, and right now Hannah was having a breakdown because she was swaying the wrong way.
“But I really think we should have you wear one of these tonight,” she gently removed the diaper from Hannah’s hand. And as Hannah watched her expressions, it made her want to cry even more. Despite how much evil her babysitter was unleashing upon her, all she seemed to harbor within was kindness and concern. She thought she was helping Hannah, and maybe objectively she was, but Hannah didn’t want to see it that way. If she didn’t resist, that would imply acceptance, and there was no way she’d resign herself to pull-ups; especially diapers.
Irrationally hoping Mary might discard her own logic, Hannah pleadingly asked again, “But why? Why can’t I just wear pull-ups? I’ll be better, I promise!”
“And I know you will,” Mary consoled, taking Hannah’s empty hand, doing the same thing she’d always do with her thumb. “Because I want you to know that I won’t think any less of you for wearing one. Think about it this way: I’m the one who forced you to wear it, so that way there’s no reason to beat yourself up over it,” she looked to Hannah as if it were a suitable solution.
Maybe that idea could have worked somewhat if Hannah were 7, and the very person responsible for it didn’t give her the idea. By openly suggesting it, it was as if they both silently acknowledged it was a lie. Mary was the one forcing her, but someone or something had to have forced her hand first…
Despairingly, Hannah looked at the diaper, knowing that once she was in, there was no getting out.
“But what happens when I need to use the bathroom?”
“Well…” Mary looked to be thinking hard, and her delay to answer felt as if Hannah’s worst fears were about to be confirmed. “To tell you the truth, you don’t have a lot of diapers left… One more, actually.”
The sudden remark had sent a chill up Hannah’s spine. One more?! Did she really go through a package of 20 that fast? Maybe she really was helpless… “One more we can use tonight,” Mary added, barely doing much to break Hannah from her depressed state. “I already set one aside for bedtime.” Hannah wasn’t sure how it made anything different, other than trying to be a convenience to her mom. And frankly, her mom’s feelings were the last thing she cared about right now.
“If you need to go…” Mary still looked not to be totally onboard with what she was saying, but continued, “I don’t see too much harm in taking you to the potty.” Finally, with a ray of hope in sight, Hannah looked at Mary as if she were her savior, and was all smiles yet again. “But if you don’t make it,” she transitioned into a friendly, yet serious warning, “we’re not gonna talk about using the potty for the night, okay? Those tapes can only come off so many times. They need to stay on to do their job.”
Hannah didn’t even want to consider her final clause. The assertiveness she packed into the threat of permanent confinement was scary, but Hannah knew she’d never let it slip that far. She’d never fall so far as to let these dumb things “do their job.”
Mary had paused to keep searching for a towel, and her efforts were rewarded once she opened the closet. Pulling one out, she unfolded it and draped it over the floor, giving it a signaling pat for Hannah to lay down.
Nearly gulping, Hannah while keeping her thighs close together wiggled over, and debating whether to actually go through with this or not, she was rushed along by Mary’s firm, yet gentle hands on her shoulders.
“The sooner we get started, the sooner it’ll be over,” Mary encouraged as Hannah laid her back on the towel, or rather, Mary gently forced her to.
With her hands covering her privates, her feeble attempts to maintain some sense of dignity were lost when Mary once again with guiding force set them aside. This probably would have been her cue to say something like, “Nothing I haven’t seen before,” or, “We’re both girls, aren’t we?” But maybe the mind games were so deep at this point she knew that Hannah was thinking the same thing, because nothing was said.
The whole process felt wrong. It was like having breakfast for dinner. Something you did every day, just at the totally wrong time. Being diapered for any other occasion than sleeping wasn’t a welcomed change, and it certainly felt strange.
If she closed her eyes, which she did, it almost felt like her mom was changing her. Despite Mary only being a teen, it still felt like Hannah was being handled by a motherly figure, which she didn’t appreciate. She did, but she didn’t, namely because it widened the already decent age gap between the two. Diapering her though expanded that wedge by light years. How could Hannah talk to her about boys when she was too busy trying to keep her pants dry? Why learn how to do her own makeup when she could be taught how to change her own diaper instead? Nothing was fair, and the compassion Mary was using on Hannah to ease her into it was equally as pleasant as it was condescending and demeaning. Mary was a caretaker first, and a friend second.
The change was concluded by Mary drawing the front up between Hannah’s legs, then pressing on the tapes. Normally her pajamas would come next, but in its place was a skirt. Such revealing clothing was immediately a turnoff, but Hannah didn’t bother arguing, already expecting a slew of reasons why she should be wearing a skirt rather than pants. One of the most glaring and personal ones though was that her normal pants and shorts probably wouldn’t fit over it…When Mary stood her back up, the plastic leg bands crinkled loudly. Much louder than her pull-ups. Was it weird to say that she was already missing them?
“Okay, I need to go clean something up, but in a little bit how about we play a game or something?” Mary suggested, and though she made no obvious indication of it, they both knew what mess she had to clean up. If Hannah had somehow hit her head of the concrete and forgotten what’d just happened maybe 15 minutes ago, she’d certainly remember when she saw the puddle of pee going back downstairs. “Sound good?”
“Mhm…” Hannah quietly answered, still trying to find her land legs; adjusting to such a massive paradigm shift in her underwear.
“Don’t worry about what’s happened already,” Mary chimed in as Hannah was walking away. “I’m sure tonight is still gonna be fun!” Maybe it was, if Hannah could just forget about one of the most traumatic things she’d ever done. What made her suddenly yelp though was a light swat from behind, hitting her crinkly, yet thankfully dry diaper. Clutching the imaginary wound through her skirt as if she’d been shot, Hannah looked back at Mary with burning cheeks.
Mary blinked simply with a smile, and without letting the silence linger for too long, Hannah stormed off and out of the room. It was the moments like these where her perception of Mary could change entirely. She didn’t know if she was kind, caring, or teasing and mean. For the most part she was nice, though… Maybe she just didn’t realize some of the things she did?
Avoiding the puddle of pee like the plague, Hannah walked down the stairs and into the living room, hoping some tv might be able to save her from this endless nightmare.
Thankfully the entertainment at least did something for her. Laying on her side, yet making sure her skirt was covering everything underneath it, she mindlessly watched the moving pictures while in a mix of thought and observation.
And as she watched, the commercials, shows and noise all started to blend together. She could almost imagine a hum in the background too. It was all so…soothing. Her eyelids grew heavier as she laid there, and she closed her eyes for a few seconds. Then for a few more. Then a minute. Then five. And then, they didn’t open back up.
Dozing off for well an hour, when Mary nudged her awake, Hannah, still groggy, couldn’t place why Mary looked so concerned. What was up with her?
“Hannah, hon, are you okay?”
“Hn? Mary? What are you…?”
“I think you took a little nap…” Hannah moved while Mary spoke, and a sudden, wet, cold chill pressed against her thigh. Looking over, there seemed to be a large, dark splotch on the gray couch. No…she hadn’t.
But she had.
Even if it was a nap, a bedwetter is always a bedwetter… Sleep did not discriminate…
“These aren’t too good for side sleepers, huh?” Mary chuckled sadly, clearly seeming sympathetic. She placed a soft hand on the drier of the two thighs, and Hannah tried her best not to sob.
“Don’t worry,” Mary smiled; that same face she’d always give in the face of despair. Unmoving, inalienable positivity. “We still have one more diaper!” Looking much more somber though, she added, “But a deal’s a deal…”
No more toilet. [HR][/HR]
“…Can I put some on?” trying to stay calm, yet with a clear hint of desperation, Hannah asked. Normally she’d never feel the need to ask permission to put on her own underwear, but it was almost frustrating to think she didn’t even recognize them as her own anymore…
“…Sure,” Mary happily answered after a few moments of thought. “A little encouragement is good every once in a while, I guess. But the diaper stays on,” still kind, yet with authority Mary added.
After the diaper change, Mary talked her into a game of hide and seek. Reluctantly, Hannah agreed, given that there was nothing which would seem to put her in a good mood now… She was the hider, and Mary was the seeker. Without any real reason she chose her mom’s room, hoping to burrow herself under the bed. Though in the process of that, she found something much, much more intriguing. A seemingly simple cardboard box, upon opening it was the jackpot itself. Sanctuary. Valhalla. The equivalent of any sort of salvation, and sanctum!
Pulling apart the cardboard flaps, in it was all the panties that’d been removed from her dresser. Forgotten friends, Hannah had just discovered what her mom had done with them all! The more she stared at them, the greater the desire was to have a pair around her hips.
Hannah hated to think that this was a tease more than a grand return to adulthood, but staring at the pile of cloth underwear made her feel like she’d just discovered buried treasure. It was enough to make her forget almost entirely about her current circumstances, and how far she’d fallen.
Settling on a pair of blue and white striped ones, Hannah stared at the pair of panties in her hands, knowing full well that they would fit her. They were once hers, after all. Bringing them to her feet, she could feel the bulk of the diaper between her legs as she slightly moved them apart. Stepping her feet into one hole, and then the other, it felt euphoric to feel the wonderful fabric slide across her legs as she drew them up. So wonderful, a tiny meep escaped her when a small spurt of pee escaped her. She had no intention of telling Mary, though. Something other than plastic leg bands were around her thighs though, and that’s what mattered the most.
It would have been perfect, only until instead of slipping across her skin, pressing against her groin, the panties instead slipped over the crotch of the crinkly diaper. Obviously peeking from all ends, the white, infantile diaper overflowed from all openings where the panties ended; a harsh and morbidly humorous contrast.
She wanted to feel good about wearing panties again, but the diaper which sat between her and the panties was too demoralizing. It was like her bladder was a prisoner, and her panties had been so kind as to visit her while in confinement, and the diaper like any detention center kept visitors out.
“Feel good?” Mary hopefully asked, fully unaware of how Hannah was feeling on the inside now. Hannah would likely die inside if she looked in a mirror. Although it was nice to think she was wearing panties again, she probably would have looked like a poor excuse for a young adolescent right now. Probably a toddler who got a little bit too excited and thought they were ready to be a big kid a little too early. Rather than a pair of panties, you could probably call it a diaper cover that was doing a poor job… Quietly, Hannah sniffled. She didn’t think getting what she wanted would have felt so terrible.
“Come on,” Mary broke the silence, tickling her palm with her thumb. “Ready to go brush your teeth?” A familiar tingle sparked through Hannah’s hand, and a strange wave of relief washed over her, coming from the hand. As if all her muscles suddenly relaxed, she felt slightly sluggish as comfort overcame her. But with it, a sudden pressure in her bowels too.
No. You can’t be serious.
“M…Mary, I…” Hannah tried to plead, but her body seized all over, and she was afraid to be denied on the grounds of their earlier promise. Helplessly, she could feel her body force itself into a squatting position.
“Hannah, are you alright?”
Hannah tried to grit her teeth, as the force was too strong for her to stop. She didn’t even try to run to the bathroom, coupled by a list of reasons. If she ran, the cramps would probably give way and she’d do it on the way over, and Mary may not even let her. The diaper’s tapes wouldn’t happily go on afterwards, and that would probably upset the babysitter further… As the unyielding force finally drew to the exit, a helpless grunt escaped Hannah as her cheeks involuntarily spread for the rude guest currently making its way through. She could hear the diaper’s backside crinkle as she filled it with poo, forcing the back of the diaper to expand. Instantly she devolved into whimpers and cries as the mess settled itself and slowly snaked from her backside into the seat of her pants, and with muddy squishes conformed to the shape of her diaper, creeping between her legs.
It smelled terrible, and Hannah took exasperated breaths as her diaper suddenly felt much heavier, and clung to her skin in the worst imaginable way possible. And in the middle of her messing, the pressure hit too close to her bladder, which is why it released itself as well, but with significantly less strain. After the rush of pee finished its course, squatting in a soiled diaper, Hannah could only fall to her knees as she cried.
“It…it was an accident!” desperately, Hannah tried to coherently plead through her tears, and her vision was too blurred to see Mary. She tried to remain as still as a statue from the waist down, irrationally hoping that there was some way she could be absolved of this very literal mess without needing to move. She could only imagine how comical she looked; a bulge coming from the back of her diaper, and by extension the panties she tried to wear over it.
Her underwear was a living oxymoron; wearing adult panties over a baby diaper she just messed. It was all too overwhelming. Everything was crashing, and she was right at the center of all the wreckage.
“Come on, honey, think you can stand up for me?” Mary at some point had taken Hannah’s hands into hers, though not doing her signature palm massage. She spoke almost somberly, yet with a likely reserved cheeriness to coax Hannah out of her worries.
“If you want to be clean again, we can’t have you sitting here!” again, trying one last time to be upbeat. The tears kept coming regardless.
And as Mary consoled Hannah, Hannah noted that amongst all the kind and encouraging words, not a single one of them regarded it as an unfortunate accident. Despite being in such emotional turmoil, Hannah was aware enough to know that she wasn’t being treated as a girl working on pull-ups. Quite the opposite. The way Mary eased her back onto her feet, and gave the waistband of her diaper a reassuring upwards tug, though the slight jostle just made the mess even worse. Not like it mattered, because she had to start walking–no, waddling, eventually.
Now it was Mary’s turn to seem like her mom. Just like when she walked out the door earlier this night. Both of them had silently lost faith in Hannah, and she knew it was well-deserved. Even if Mary did keep her promise, the inevitable would happen with or without her influence. It wasn’t a matter of if, but when.
It only made Hannah cry harder when they passed the wardrobe mirror, seeing herself so distraught. Underneath her skirt was the backside of her messy diaper just peeking; possible to see because her mess had forced the diaper to expand outside the blind spot. And just along the edge she could see the pair of blue panties struggling to stay on. It was as if they were trying to abandon her, too.
It was a stinky, painful waddle back to the bathroom, where Mary cooed as she did her best to quarantine the mess. Back on the towel, Mary undid her tapes, and both equally happy and sad as it happened, the weighted diaper hit the ground with a plop almost immediately. Finally with room to breathe, the diaper’s odor filled the bathroom to uncomfortable levels. It made Hannah of course well with shame, and she could even see Mary’s nose scrunch the tiniest bit, but she was no less comforting.
A few wet wipes later, Hannah had finally been cleaned of the mess she made in her pants; something she had never expected to happen in a million years.
“There, see? All clean now. No more messies,” Mary continued to soothe, but the demeaning language only unnerved Hannah further. Yet at the same time, it was nice to have someone there for her…
“I think it’s about time we get ready for bed,” Mary spoke simply, still devoid of any real judgement, at least any negative judgement that was. “I’ll go get your jammies, so wait here for me?” without waiting for a response, Mary stood back up, but not without grabbing the pair of panties too.
“Wait!” amongst her sobs, Hannah finally spoke to Mary clearly. She turned back, open to hearing what Hannah had to say.
“Can…” she felt the tears coming back already, knowing she was in no position to make demands, and equally as much for adult ones. “Can you let me keep the panties?” If anything, the only consolation she could have was at least getting to hang on to a pair. She didn’t want all this misfortune to be for naught. A pair of panties couldn’t fix anything in her life right now, but it could at least make her feel somewhat better.
Mary was quiet for an uncomfortably long amount of time, like she was debating whether or not to humor a toddler. Had it not been for Hannah’s factual age though, this would have been true. Then she sighed, as if it were against her better judgement.
“Mommy better not see these, got it?” Mary looked back to Hannah with a warning stare, as she handed them back to Hannah, who could only cry tears of joy. Desperately, Hannah nodded her head, as Mary temporarily left the room.
Desperate for maturity, Hannah eagerly drew them up her legs, disregarding her skin still slightly being wet from the wet wipes. She drew them up with such exaggeration, the sides went well above her waist and the fabric had been stretched the slightest bit, just so she could drive the point home by feeling alone she was wearing panties again. It was like a breath of fresh air; almost enough to make her forget about the messy diaper she was standing next to. Wanting to figuratively soak in them for just a little bit longer, she let go of the waistband, waiting for it to conform to her waistline and sit propper.
But instead, she felt them slip down her legs, and back to the ground.
She was melancholic as she stared at them, quickly realizing just what the problem was. They had been stretched when she put them over the diaper, though just slightly. Slightly was enough to break the straw over the camel’s back, though, as from looks alone Hannah knew they wouldn’t fit her anymore… The only reason they had stayed on for as long as they had was because she was holding them in place. Her bottom lip trembled as she came to terms with this, knowing the only way they would fit her now was if she wore a diaper underneath it. Even when she got what she wanted it wasn’t right. Nothing was. Like the prophecy had foretold, it was another night of despair, and she had no idea why.
Mary came back with the last diaper and a pair of pajamas, as promised. Hannah hadn’t mentioned a single word of the panties never fitting, and didn’t say anything at all. Not when she was laid down, not when the diaper was slipped under her bottom, not when it was drawn up between her legs, and not when the tapes’ adhesives came into place.
Mary had apparently dug deep in Hannah’s dated wardrobe, because she had a pair of Disney Princess bottoms and shirt. The last time Hannah could remember getting themed clothing like that was when she was maybe 9 or 10. Hannah didn’t argue though, because she figured she’d already given Mary enough trouble for one night. As defeated and decrepit as Hannah was, it made her feel even worse knowing it was at the expense of someone else who had to take care of her.
Hannah whimpered when the pants were drawn up, because they mostly went on right up until the halfway point on the diaper’s plastic landing strip, just giving the Elmo designs a small wall to peer over, otherwise known as the waistband of her pants.
“They don’t fit…” Hannah quietly remarked to no one in particular.
“I think we just need to give them a little stretch, that’s all,” Mary continued to tug at the pants, and they eventually did go over, but Mary stopped at a point where the fringes of the plastic waistband were still peeking. And because she had stretched the small pants so much, the crotch visibly conformed to the bulge of Hannah’s diaper perfectly, and though she couldn’t see it, also came close to form-fitting the elastic bands around her legs too. It was no secret to what she was wearing now. The shirt was small too, but somewhat fit better than the pants did. Her belly button was never covered, though.
Mary watched Hannah brush her teeth, and once she was finished, the two were already in Hannah’s room, getting her into bed.
“I’m sorry things didn’t go so perfectly tonight,” Mary sympathetically smiled, but still aware of the damage which had been done. “But again, I don’t think any less of you.” She gave Hannah’s arm one last stroke.
Hannah was too emotionally drained to say anything. She had been put through the ringer tonight and was likely on the fast track to diapers, if not there already. When she partly moved on her side, the crinkle coming from her bottom reminded that she likely better start getting acquainted to.
But before she left, Mary said one last thing.
“And don’t worry, I’ll still talk to your mom,” and on that final positive note, Mary turned off the lights, and closed the door. [HR][/HR]
When Hannah woke up, it was at some point in the middle of the night, if her window was any indication of that. She peeled back the covers, and when leaning forward felt the wet squish in her diaper. It had been dry when she went to sleep, and clearly she had been too involved in her dreams. It didn’t hit her as badly as a daytime wetting did, though. Especially not a messing one.
She didn’t know why she woke up, but she did want to do one thing, even in her dazed state. Still without getting out of bed, Hannah leaned over to the side, fishing her hand underneath the bed’s skirt, pulling out what she was looking for. Snaking off the pajama pants her sleepy self had fumbled with already, she drew up the new article of clothing. Now in the presence of a diaper, they were snug-fitting again, and although depressed to know how it would work only this way, Hannah thoughtfully pressed a hand to the stretched panties. Pulling the covers back up, she went back to sleep while she silently wept. [HR][/HR]
“Ms. Finn! How have you been?”
“Great, Mary, and you? Is the college hunt going well?”
“It’s definitely a search, alright,” Mary chuckled, as if this hadn’t been the first adult to ask. “But, I’ll find out eventually.”
“I’m sure you will,” Hannah’s mom agreed. “I need to get going soon, though. Think you can handle Hannah tonight?”
“Think I can handle a little diaper duty,” Mary spoke confidently, snickering at the joking challenge.
Hannah’s mom made an uncertain noise, as if she weren’t so sure Mary could. “Whatever you say. Whenever she messes in her sleep, though, that’s the real challenge.”
Mary solemnly agreed. “The worst of it is when they squish it all around without even realizing it… Poor things.”
“Anyways, 8:00 tonight? She’s got a sleepover for tomorrow, and I want to make sure she’s nice and rested.”
“Will do, Ms. Finn!” again, Mary happily saluted.
“And also, since you were last here, I moved Hannah onto the boosters, as well.”
“Oh?” Mary curiously asked, “What for?”
“The wettings have been getting more frequent,” she paused for a second. “And larger… Don’t get me wrong, her pampers work well, but sometimes she needs a little something…extra.”
“Well, I think I can handle that. Saves me from at least one extra diaper change, right?”
“Well…” again, Ms. Finn didn’t seem to be totally onboard with the joke, saying, “you’d think…”
“Oh! And also,” Hannah’s mom spoke again, as if she forgot an important detail. “No covering up her diaper tonight, okay? I’ve been reading a few blogs, and an important part to getting her used to her diapers is by keeping them out in the open. That, and it’s better to know when she’ll need a change,” she seemed to add it like an afterthought.
“Got it, got it, got it,” repeatedly, Mary assured. “8:00 bedtime, use the diaper boosters, and no pants either.”
“No skirts, too,” she partly corrected. “It’s been tough, but I think she’s finally starting to get used to it.” She sighed somewhat, staring off into space. “We won’t be going back to the potty for a bit, so I at least want her to be comfortable… Look at the time, though,” she turned her head back to the hallway.
“Hannah?” she called, “Mommy’s leaving! Come and say bye-bye!”
It took a few seconds, but you could hear the girl coming before you can even see her, announced by the crinkly noisemaker around her hips. From a single glance, the crotch of her unobstructed pamper diaper looked a little more pronounced than it usually would. It didn’t fold in on itself, and was unusually round. Almost like there was an extra layer inside of it…
Her pace was slow as she shuffled down the hall, as if trying to minimize the sounds she made with each step, while doing everything she could to not stare at the babysitter. It was the first time she looked like this in front of her, after all.
Nothing had changed. Each and every time Mary came back, things somehow got worse, and this time was no different than the others. Mary silently waved with a smile to Hannah, while she nervously came closer, veering towards her mom.
“…Bye mom…” They were two simple words, yet it sounded as if it took a great deal to even mutter them out loud.
“Goodnight, sweetie,” Hannah’s mom spoke in a tender tone, as if she were sending a toddler off to bed. She got on her knees and before she even hugged the girl, slipping a finger in between her leg band and thigh. Hannah meekly whimpered, but stood still like a statue, almost as if this wasn’t the first time this’d happened.
“Just a little soggy,” Hannah’s mom simply commented, unlike her last departure which held much more disappointment. Turning her head to Mary, as if Hannah wasn’t even in the room, she said, “She shouldn’t need a change until she goes poo. She’s usually good about that around this time.” Hannah, still listening despite being forgotten, grew embarrassingly wide-eyed at the comment, though not daring to look anyone in the eye. Mary slowly nodded her head, passively eyeing Hannah’s reaction.
Hannah then received and gave her hug, but while locked in it, she felt the firm pat to her plastic backside. It was almost enough to make her cry knowing that’d change eventually, but maybe she could negotiate something with Mary…
“Have a good night, you two!” Hannah’s mom ended it with a kiss to the trembling Hannah’s forehead, then waved a goodbye to Mary, closing the door behind her. As if the door shutting were a cue, Hannah fell to her knees in a sob.
“Hey…hey…” Mary rushed over to her, stroking her back. “Come on, there’s no need to be sad… Did you go already?”
It only made Mary cry harder, now knowing her emotional distress had now become associated with the state of her diaper. Her legitimate concerns came second to her bowels and bladder. She’d been barred from panties, and the last of the pull-ups had been thrown out. All that was left in the house for her were diapers. Her mom somehow found out she found the box of panties, and thus she tossed the whole lot into the trash altogether. That was a rough day, by far.
Taking too long to give Mary a verbal response, she pulled back the waistband of Hannah’s diaper, and not finding what she expected, set it back into place.
“I thought…” Hannah sobbed, “I thought you said it’d get better?”
Without any real explanation, Mary could only continue to soothe her.
“Come on, where’s the big girl I know so well? Diapers or no diapers, you’re still my favorite gal to hang out with?”
Hannah knew it was probably a lie, but having someone so understanding, although belittling, was a genuine comfort that had grown on her. It probably all was just one big coincidence, and a happy one at that. The loss of her bowels and bladder were something supernatural she couldn’t explain, but at least the universe had gifted her Mary. She was kind, understanding, supportive, and attentive. Sure, she may have checked Hannah’s diapers and changed them, but that was her job. Hannah couldn’t expect her to not do such.
What was weird though was when Mary said, “Besides, look at it this way: no need to worry about the bathroom anymore!”
Mary innocently giggled, as she rubbed Hannah’s shoulder. “All I’m saying is that it’s a lot less stressful now, isn’t it? I remember last week when you were still on pull-ups. That was a bumpy ride, right?”
Awkwardly Hannah shrugged, but she’d much rather fight for her pull-ups than surrender to diapers.
“Hm? What is it?”
“Do you think we could do it like last time?”
“Like what last time?”
“You know…not tell Mom about tonight?”
“What wouldn’t I tell her?” Mary asked with genuine curiosity, unsure of the answer.
“My…my accidents? Tell her I didn’t have any?”
Still, Mary looked troubled trying to decipher what Hannah figured to be as clear as day.
“Hannah, honey, what accidents?”
“You know!” in a teary whine Hannah complained. “In my…diapers?”
“Hannah…” Mary had furrowed her brows in a sorrowful form, as she looked as if she were going to break some dreadful news. “I did that last time because you were in pull-ups. But now?” Simply, she gave the crotch of Hannah’s diaper a squishy squeeze, causing the pee to stir in it, and forcing Hannah to blush furiously. “You’re not wearing pull-ups anymore, sweetheart.” She tried her best to give a loving smile, but it was obvious she were trying to break some bad news gently. “Accidents don’t happen in diapers…”
With her bottom lip trembling, Hannah’s fresh tears came back as reality set into place.
“Maybe I’d be willing to hear you out if you were in pull-ups, but do you really think that’s the best for you right now?” Streams rolling down her cheeks now, and suddenly one coming from her bladder, she shook her head no. “Let’s not worry about pull-ups anymore, okay? And look at it this way,” she tugged up the front of Hannah’s sagging diaper. “No more pull-ups means no more accidents!” still hushed, Mary sounded upbeat. “Mommy’s not mad anymore, right?”
It was a morbid fact, but there was some truth to it. Still, that didn’t excuse the price she had to pay in exchange, though. She continued to sniffle as Mary stroked her hair.
“And if it makes you feel any better, I think you look very cute in diapers,” she leaned a bit lower to catch Hannah’s eyes in the middle of a downward gaze. Hannah looked away, still frustrated by the circumstances. She had no reason to be angry with Mary. In the end this was all her own fault. All she was trying to do was make her feel better…
“Wanna go watch some tv?” slowly lifting Hannah’s chin with her finger, she looked at the girl hopefully.
Hannah nodded her head, and taking the babysitter’s hand, they walked down the hall she came from. She had finally reached it. Rock bottom. Not even Mary could save her.
“So you’re having a sleepover tomorrow, huh?” Mary asked, trying to change the topic. “Looking forward to it?”
“I guess…” Hannah lied, dreading tomorrow night. She wanted to go, but not as she was now. The only reason she broke her golden rule was because her mom did for her. All it took was a single conversation between her mom and a friend’s, and like that Hannah had involuntarily been signed up for a night with her friends. And of course her friend’s mom now knew about her diapers, because if Hannah’s mom wasn’t going to be there, what responsible adult would be? It would certainly be a rough night. She wasn’t even sure if she had clothes that could fully conceal her new underwear. If her mom had a complete say in it though, she never would.
As they were about to round the corner, a sudden cramp hit Hannah’s abdomen, knowing full well what was to come, and unfortunately just as her mom predicted. It was impossible for Mary to not notice, because she was suddenly stopped by the anchor her hand was tethered to, and turned around to see Hannah already frozen in place. The bowel movements had become so frequent now she didn’t even need to squat anymore. Face ridden with a thousand yard stare, she grunted helplessly as her bottom trembled and the back of her diaper started to fill itself. The diaper slightly crinkled as it expanded, and Mary, still holding onto Hannah’s hand suddenly stopped tickling her palm with her thumb. It took Hannah a second to even realize she was doing it to begin with.
Finishing her unfortunate mess, Hannah remained speechless as she stood there, waiting for something other than the smell to hit her nose.
“I’m…I’m sorry…” in a frazzled stutter, Hannah tearily tried to explain herself.
“That’s alright,” Mary pat the top of Hannah’s head. “It has to go somewhere, right?”
No more accidents.
It was expected of her.
“You head on into the living room, okay?” Finally letting go of Hannah’s hand, she gave her a suggestive push by pressing her hand against the back of Hannah’s diaper, nudging her forward, but smearing the mess in the process. “I can just change you in front of the tv,” smiling, Mary waited for Hannah to keep walking. Quietly, nodding, Hannah walked bow-legged into the living room, messy diaper in tow. Every step of the way, Mary watched her stinky charge toddle off to the room, with a devilish smirk forming a wider and wider; a bigger, toothy grin with each step.
Once the girl was long gone, Mary turned on her heel and back to the stairs. Walking into Hannah’s room, she opened the drawers to her dresser, where the pull-ups would usually be, but were now instead an array of child-printed diapers. Picking one out, Mary eyed them disapprovingly.
With a sudden shift in tone, as if full of mischief, trickery, and sadism, she tutted, “Much, much too thin…” With the snap of her fingers, a purple spark erupted from the tip of her nails, and the diaper in her hand started to grow visibly thicker; nearly twice in size. She reached her other hand into the bag of diaper inserts sitting plain as day next to her dresser, deciding against making it any more ‘absorbent,’ too.
Expectantly, she looked around the room, checking near the wet wipes for something she expected to find, but was severely disappointed, though mostly annoyed.
“Stupid woman,” bitterly, she scoffed to no one in the room. “You can’t even buy baby powder without me telling you to?” She knew she had to be explicit when she used her magic on others, but the devil in the details was always annoying at times like these…
“Sorry, Hannah, baby,” she added the last bit in a syrupy voice. “Looks like you won’t be smelling so sweet tonight…”
And already with a destination in mind, she walked over to Hannah’s bedside, leaning over, kneeling near the bed skirt. Lifting it up, her eyes barely scanned the area she was just seeing for the first time, and with her target in sights, grabbed what she was looking for.
“Poor thing…” with both hands, she held the garment in front of her eyes, seeing the panties had clearly been stretched out. “Still getting ideas…” sighing, the snapped her fingers once more, and the garment had vaporized into nothing.
Truthfully, it was Mary’s fault. She was the one who teased the poor girl. She remembered to instruct Hannah’s mom to throw out the panties, but admittedly she forgot about the pair the girl got away with. Not that they would have ever fit her without a diaper, but the last thing she needed were reminders of what she once wore and who she once was.
Grabbing the wet wipes, she walked back down the stairs. Hannah probably was thinking right about now it couldn’t get any worse, and she was right. In fact, it never got any worse. In Mary’s world, at least. In her’s, it only got better and better. And there was certainly much more fun to be had. She chewed her thumb for a moment, thinking deeply, wondering if there was some way she could chaperone Hannah’s sleepover tomorrow…
She looked at her thumb nail thoughtfully, wondering just how many friends of Hannah’s she could show off her diapers to…
Tabling the idea altogether, she walked back into the living room where Hannah was still standing awkwardly; not even daring to sit down. She watched the tv nervously, still shivering in embarrassment. Mary watched silently with a smile, seeing the full diaper sway to and fro. But going back to the babysitter facade, her smile shifted back to a much more innocent one, tapping Hannah on the shoulder.
She must have been too quiet, because Hannah suddenly jumped, simultaneously trying to turn around, but in the process lost her footing, falling right on her diapered bottom.
The tv’s audio was just low enough for the both of them to hear the squish, and Hannah’s face visibly grimace and contort; mortified by the substance seeping between her legs. Mary looked apologetic as she came close, stroking Hannah’s cheek.
“Ooh, I’m sorry, Hannah,” instead of helping her back up, Mary took advantage of her position and laid her down further. “Boom boom went smoosh, huh?” At this point, Hannah was at a loss for words as Mary situated her.
“You know, Hannah,” Mary casually spoke as she undid the tapes to her diaper. “I’m really happy I got to babysit you.” As she wiped her messy bottom with a wet wipe, clearly proving privacy no longer existed for Hannah when she leaned in close, asking, “Are you?”
Overwhelmed, Hannah, busy looking at the leg of the coffee table, tearily nodded yes. Secretly, Mary writhed in pleasure as she watched the troubled girl’s expressions. And it would only get better. Better and better until she truly had reached rock bottom. She would be cute and adorable then, but the chase is always the best part… Thoroughly breaking down Hannah was what she lived for… She was just about to massage Hannah’s palm again, then stopped herself.
Personally, Mary didn’t feel like cleaning up a wet rug… She’d do it after she was diapered. The lingering effects for when she did this were far too obvious, and Hannah’s bladder and bowels were certainly taking the brunt of it. Maybe just a few more times, and she wouldn’t even be feeling the need to poo anymore, or at the very least only realize she needs to poop by the time half of it’s already in her diaper. Or maybe to really drive the point home, she could make the potty monster real. In Hannah’s imagination, at least. She’d feel safer making a mess in her pants than on a scary bowl that could grab her at a moment’s notice… Both ideas were exciting, and equally a possibility. She’d need to flip a coin on it, or even have Hannah decide, maybe? She could just mask the decision as what they were eating for dinner. It was always fun to see them unconsciously spell their own demise.
The best part was even if Hannah did have any suspicions, they were objectively absurd, and it’s not like Mary was going anywhere. She’d been “looking” for a college the past three years. In the meantime, she made ends meet with her babysitting jobs. And what kids need a babysitter more than the ones in diapers?
They need ones for a long, long time.