Tara Jennings and the Vacation

Tara Jennings and the Vacation

Chapter 1

Note: where possible, real places have been used. All places in Newcastle are real places, but not in New York.

‘Tara! Get down here and get your stuff in the car! We need to get to the airport!’
‘Right, Dad!’
Tara Jennings was fourteen years old, but only just - her birthday had only just passed. She had dark brown hair and deep blue eyes, but not done with makeup: unlike most girls, her beauty meant she didn’t need it. She was very popular at school, but this was not because of her beauty, but because she made everyone her friend. She made a point not to leave anyone out, not even the nerdiest nerds, and was very generous with hugs. She lived with her mother and father in a sleepy suburb of Newcastle in northern England.
Today she and her parents were going on a vacation to the USA to see the sights and, much to her father’s protest, go shopping in New York. She was buzzing with excitement. She rushed out the door and ran to the car.
‘Mum will be waiting at the airport-the neighbors gave her a lift with some of the bags.’ Tara’s dad said.
‘Right.’ Tara replied.
‘Now, what have we forgotten?’
Tara laughed. ‘Hopefully, nothing!’ She smiled.
Tara’s mum and dad were both 29. They were fifteen when they had Tara, and had to go to the same university to stop her from being taken into care as they would not have been able to look after her by themselves. Luckily they had a good opportunity at Newcastle and ended up both becoming Doctors at the General Hospital, Meaning they could look after Tara. She was never a handful luckily-she had never really done anything really bad except when she was six and attacked a boy in a class for saying she was ugly-and since that incident nothing major had happened.
Once they got through the traffic to the airport, they found their flight had been delayed an hour and a half because their plane was stuck in Sofia-someone had opened the emergency exit window and they couldn’t get it closed again. (AUTHORS NOTE: this really happened to me! We were stuck in amsterdam airport for hours!) Once the plane finally arrived and Tara and her dad met up with Tara’s mum, the three of them at last made their way to gate seventeen and waited for the plane boarding to open. Once it did the airport bus ferried them and their fellow passengers over to the plane and they got on board. Tara made sure her iPod was on airplane mode, and put it in her bag, which she slotted under her seat. She was sitting in a three, in between her mother and father. The stewardesses began their pre flight information.
‘Hello, and welcome aboard this jet2.com flight to New York. We ask you at this time to direct your attention to the stewards and stewardesses who will run through the flight safety instructions. It is currently twelve degrees celsius in New York and overcast. We apologize for the one hour forty minute delay in the service and hope to make up an hour while in the air.’
Tara smiled. She had heard these briefings so many times before-just three months ago she had gone skiing with her school, and again had a delay on the flight, but this was because Grenoble airport had a mysterious shortage of plane wing de-icer (AUTHORS NOTE: this happened to me aswell!). As they taxied towards the runway, she said to her mum: ‘Let’s hope there aren’t any bombers on the plane!’ her mum rolled her eyes and groaned at the joke.
The plane began to accelerate. They lifted off the runway, and began their journey to newark airport, flying out into the midday sun.

Chapter 2

Tara was steadily making progress across the Atlantic Ocean. Her flight, having left late, was making good time and was set to come in just twenty minutes behind schedule, having left one hundred behind. The views out of the plane were astonishing, albeit very blue. People chattered, listened to music and worked on their laptops and Tara played Guitar Hero on her iPod. They were about three hours out of New York when she needed the toilet. She went to the back of the plane and found long queues for the toilets and the same at the front. She began to grow desperate, and there were four people in the queue still in front of her. She started to worry. She now had her hands clutched to her waist area and her legs crossed over to stop herself from peeing right there on the spot. She was second in the queue when she could hold it no longer. She ran back down the plane to her seat as warm urine filled her panties and stained her trousers. She sat down and whispered to her parents,
‘Mum? Dad?’
‘Yes darling?’
‘There was a massive queue for the toilet and… and… I couldn’t hold it in…’ and with this she started to cry.
Her mother comforted her with a hug. ‘Don’t worry, we’ll sort you out in New York,’ she reassured. She could do nothing other than hug Tara as she wept in her arms.
Tara was now feeling very self conscious. She felt like every single person walking past was staring at the smelly wet patch, and she crossed over her legs to try and stop people from seeing it. Her mum tried to reassure her again but failed to make her feel any less paranoid then she already was and it was a relief for Tara and her parents when they got off at Newark airport. Having got through customs, they grabbed their bags off the reclaim and got a taxi to their hotel, Which was nestled right near the centre of the city. The family to their rooms and put their stuff in. Tara immediately took off her soaked panties and trousers and shuffled through her bag looking for spares. ‘Shit!’ She thought. ‘I forgot to pack underwear!’ She went next door to her mum and dad’s room in pajama bottoms and explained the situation.
‘Well Tara,’ Said her father,‘You have two options. You can either go commando until we can get you some from a shop or you can wear these diapers until you get some underwear; we found four of these in one of the drawers.’ Tara scoffed, but her father pressed on: Take these to your room and you can always wear them if you want underwear.’ Tara took them to her room, but threw them in a draw which she wasn’t using. She would have used her mum’s underwear but it was too small for her as her mum was four inches shorter than her. She stuck on a pair of jeans. She had bought loads of them: in fact, she hadn’t needed to bring any

As Tara walked around, wearing no underwear underneath the jeans, she felt incredibly uncomfortable. The jeans were coarse material and they were hurting the area around her vagina and bottom. She ignored it until after dinner but finally gave up. ‘Even a diaper is better than this,’ she thought, pulling one out of the drawer which she had earlier thrown them into with such disgust. She took off her jeans and taped on one of the diapers. It was a baby’s diaper, which made her feel really childish, especially when she looked in the mirror, but she was also surprised that it fit and at how it was not too bad at all. She put her jeans back on, cringing at the obviousness of the bulge, but was grateful that she was no longer experiencing the pain she had been feeling earlier. She watched a movie with her parents that night, who saw she was wearing the diaper but passed no comment, and then went to bed. However, she decided one thing before she went to sleep: to keep the diaper on. It was more pleasurable then expected…

Her mum and dad were talking to each other in their room.
‘Did you see Tara was wearing the diaper?’ Her mum asked.
‘Yep, I didn’t expect her to.’
‘Her jeans are really rough-they probably were giving her grief.’
‘I guess. Still, I could of sworn she was enjoying it, the way she kept feeling it…’
'We’ll see what happens.

Chapter 3

The next morning, Tara and her mother got up and went out shopping for some panties. Tara picked some especially kinky pairs of panties and took them back to the hotel. She had felt embarrassed when she was out because she was wearing a diaper, but nobody noticed or hid the fact they did notice and she got back fine. She got to her room and was ready to take off her diaper, but before she did she decided to try and wet it to see what it felt like. She needed the toilet so she made sure the diaper was taped on tight before setting about wetting it. It took a few attempts but finally she managed to release her bladder. She grinned as the diaper flooded with urine, and she loved every moment of it. She loved the wetness of the diaper against her skin.
Once Tara got her diaper off and cleaned up, she took the diaper to the public trash and put on some of her brand new panties, which she could not deny also made her feel kinky as they were so skimpy, and put her jeans back on. She took the remaining three diapers and stuffed them into her bag; she was going to take them home with her.

After a light lunch in the Starbucks nearby the hotel, Tara and her parents walked down to central park and enjoyed the summer day. That night they had dinner in the hotel cafeteria and afterwards had a game of scrabble on the table in Tara’s parents’ room. Her dad went to bed and Tara and her mum talked.
‘So, Tara, glad to get out of those diapers?’
‘Hell yeah. They were really embarrassing when we were out today, I can’t believe no one noticed.’
‘Well, from what I observed last night, you were enjoying yourself in that diaper.’
Tara was taken aback with surprise and horror that her mother had twigged. ‘I was just trying to shift it into a comfortable position!’ She exclaimed.
‘Ok, Ok…’ Said Tara’s mum, skeptically.
Tara headed back to her room and got ready for bed. She said goodnight to her mother and went back to her room. She then slipped on one of the diapers. Bliss, she thought, and she fell asleep only wearing the diaper.

‘Wakey Wakey!’ Said Tara’s mum, pulling off Tara’s quilt, and seeing what she was wearing.
A soaked diaper.
‘Oh god!’ Tara screamed, pulling her quilt back over her, less because of the diaper, but more because it was soaked; it was dry when she went to sleep. ‘I’m sorry mum, I’m so so sorry…’ she sobbed.
Her mum frowned. ‘You have three things to explain, Tara Jennings! Firstly, why did you lie to me last night? Secondly, why are you wearing a diaper? Thirdly, why is it flooded with urine!?’
‘Oh god mum… I was so embarrassed about liking the diapers I couldn’t bear to tell you the truth. Secondly, I like the diapers and decided to wear it overnight, and thirdly. I… I… Wet the bed.’
‘Well, wetting the bed was probably an isolated incident, but I am not at all happy about this lying situation - I would have been fine with you liking diapers had you told me, and I am upset you didn’t trust me.’
With that Tara’s mum walked back into her own room to discuss with Tara’s dad what to do, leaving the fourteen year old to worry.
‘If she likes them, then I have no problem with it,’ Said Tara’s dad,‘but she lied and she needs to be disciplined. I think I know what to do.’

Chapter 4

Tara’s parents strode into Tara’s room.
‘We have decided your punishment,’ said her mum. ‘You are to wear diapers 24/7 for the rest of the holiday. You may use the toilet for number 2s and you may change yourself however you must use them for urine and if we catch you without a diaper on or urinating in the toilet you will wear diapers for all of the next half term at school, and be expected to use them. You will use the diapers we found here for now and I will go and get some straight after lunch.’
Tara nodded her understanding and her mother gave her one of the diapers. Tara was very relieved; her punishment could have been a lot worse than it was and she enjoyed wearing and wetting her diapers. Her parents left and she diapered up. She then went for lunch with her mum and dad.

While the family was having lunch, Tara began to need the toilet. Remembering her mother’s instructions she began to relieve herself into the diaper, which she enjoyed, but didn’t show it. It was a quiet restaurant, and the people at the table next to Tara heard it, but were too polite to comment except for their five year old son, who shouted:
‘Mummy! Why is that big girl wearing Diapers? Is she a baby?’ he walked over to Tara and pulled down her trousers just enough to reveal her diaper. ‘Mummy! She wet her diaper as well! She needs a change!’ Despite the innocence of the child, and the bollocking the boy was now receiving from his mother, Tara burst into floods of tears and ran into the toilet, slamming the door behind her. Her mother waited about five minutes before following her in.
‘Tara? Tara? Are you in here? Oh, sweetie…’
Tara was sitting on the floor of the toilet, crying her eyes out. ‘Why did you have to do this to me!?’
‘Tara, your father and I love you very much. You have to remember that there will be people like that, but they don’t know any better yet. We are not trying to make you upset with this, we promise.’
‘Please be strong.’
The three went home and cancelled their afternoon museum trip. Tara’s mum went out and got Tara a packet of Pampers Cruisers, which she had been using before and a pack of Huggies little swimmers in the biggest size available, as the family were planning on going to the beach the next day. Unfortunately for Tara, her parents refused to change her punishment and she would have to wear swim diapers. She planned on just keeping a towel around her and hanging back under her parents’ mini gazebo but her parents had told her to behave as usual and not to let up because of the swim diaper. Tara had just sighed and agreed as she was too tired to argue by that point and decided just not to worry about it until the time came. Until then she would just have to get on with the holiday. She decided just to get some early sleep, so she got changed into her pajamas, changed and rediapered herself and dropped off into a deep sleep.

Chapter 5

Tara woke up the next morning to a brilliantly sunny day. The diaper was dry, much to her relief, but she realized that she and her mum and dad would be going to the beach, meaning that loads of people would see her in a swim diaper. She wished she had swimming trunks instead of a bikini.
About 11 the family set off by taxi. Tara already had her bikini top and swim diaper underneath her jeans and shirt to save changing at the beach. The taxi took a while to ferry them across to the beach because of the traffic jams but at last they arrived. They paid the taxi driver his twenty dollar fee and set off down to the beach. Tara was planning on keeping her T-shirt and trousers on but the summer heat made that practically impossible. With a deep breath, she took off her trousers and shirt to reveal the swim diaper and bikini top underneath. She lay down, closed her eyes and soaked up the sunlight.
Meanwhile, a little way up the beach, two 14 year old boys, also from Newcastle, were watching her.
‘Dude! Have you seen that chick?’ Said Cody.
‘Ooh, Cody has a crush!’ Teased Gabe, his best friend. ‘Yeh actually, she is hot, but have you seen that swim diaper? This may sound weird but I think it’s kind of a turn on.’ Gabe grinned.
Cody laughed. ‘Maybe we’ll go talk to her later.’
Tara was enjoying the sun. She was very peaceful, lying there, but then three American fifteen year olds walked over for some trouble.
‘Oi! Little baby!’ one shouted at Tara. ‘Have you never grown up or something? Hey everyone, I found a retard!’ his cronies laughed. The bully continued. ‘You ought to go home and take a nap - we wouldn’t want our little baby getting tired, would-’
Gabe was storming over to the scene. ‘You think you can mess with anyone? Well piss off, YOU are the retard here.’
The bully was furious. ‘You want a fight, English boy? Don’t go crying to your mummy when I turn your face inside out!’
The coastguard jumped into the fray, as did Cody. Cody pulled away Gabe and the coastguard pulled away the bully. ‘I DON’T WANT TO SEE ANOTHER THING HERE, YOU HEAR ME!? I’LL HAVE YOU ALL SENT DOWN TO THE STATION!’
Once everything cooled down, Gabe, Cody and Tara’s parents rushed over to her. ‘Are you ok, sweetie?’ Tara’s mum exclaimed.
Tara looked dazed. ‘Yeah… Fine…’
‘Good! Those bullies, those monsters…’

Cody and Gabe chatted. Gabe was wondering about wandering over to Tara and starting a conversation, but he was nervous. However, Cody persuaded him and he went over to Tara.
‘Hey…’ Gabe stuttered.
‘Those guys earlier…’
‘Don’t worry about it. Thank you so much for standing up to them.’
‘No problem. So… What’s your name?’
‘Tara. Yours?’
‘Gabe. So what’s with the… Um…’
‘I lied to my parents. This is a punishment-and on holiday as well…’
‘Holiday? Where are you from?’
‘A place called newcastle… It’s in England…’
‘No way! Me too!’
Tara laughed. ‘Awesome!’ She also noticed Gabe was moving closer to her.
‘Do you wanna hang out sometime when we’re back at home? My home phone is 2110944.’ (this isn’t a real phone number)
‘Yeah, sure! You can bring Cody over too, he was nice when those dickheads came. He made me feel better. But you know, I like you too… I like you a lot…’
‘I like you too.’
Gabe and Tara’s lips began to come closer to each other, and after hesitation, they began to kiss. Cody, sitting not far away, grinned and whispered,‘you’re in there, man… You’re in there…’ He had a girlfriend already, and thought it was good that Gabe had finally succeeded with a girl. Gabe was quite attractive, with brown hair and brown eyes, but Cody had all the girls in the year after him. Girls simply adored him. By this point, Tara had ended up lying on top of Gabe, kissing full on. They were already making it official. Tara had to leave for home, so the pair exchanged phone numbers and had a goodbye kiss.
Cody grinned at Gabe and gave him a high five. ‘You did it, dude! You’re SO in there!’
Gabe grinned and the pair set back off into their beach hotel to meet with Cody’s mum who had taken them on holiday. Gabe was absolutely buzzing.

Chapter 6

Tara was excited. The holiday had turned out better than she expected - A new boyfriend - who was on holiday from the same place as her - had really made her holiday. She lay in her bed, before drifting away to sleep.

Tara and her parents were going home to Newcastle today. Buzzing but sad to reach the end of the holiday, burst out of bed, and then stopped, looked down, and gasped. Her diaper, dry when she went to bed, was wet, which could mean only one thing - she had wet herself during the night. She decided it might be stress and ignored it, but the thought continued to bug her throughout the day. She changed her diaper, put her pajamas and went down for breakfast.
‘So Tara, did you have a good sleep?’ Asked Tara’s dad cheerily, his face peering over the top of a newspaper.
‘Yeah,’ She lied, ‘Great.’
‘Good. Now go and pack your things, the flight is at 12!’
‘Ok dad,’ She said reluctantly. She had enjoyed the holiday and she had enjoyed wearing diapers, and knew that the diapers would have to go once she was home. She decided to put the spares from the packet she had in her bag in case she ever wanted them again, which was highly likely. As she boarded the taxi to the airport, she sighed, realizing just how much she was going to miss New York. She then asked her mum about the situation with the diapers.
‘Mum, do I have to wear these diapers until we get home or until the airport?’
‘Until we get home, we can’t have another accident on the plane!’
Tara feigned disappointment. Her mum saw this and reassured her. ‘Don’t worry, it’s all going to be ok.’
When the family reached the airport they were rushed through to the plane as quickly as possible as they were late - the traffic had been terrible. Once they were on the gate closed almost immediately, and the plane announcements began.
‘We would like to bring your attention to a problem caused by blocked sewage, meaning that the rear lavatory will not be in service. Thank you!’
Tara cracked a smile. She wouldn’t have to move a muscle while the rest of the passengers would have to queue with their legs crossed over. Even as she thought this, she felt the need to pee, releasing it into the diaper with ease, a smile of pleasure across her face. The plane took off and she laid back and slept.
By the time Tara woke the plane was descending. As soon as she and her parents reached the airport they grabbed their bags and got a taxi - they were all eager to get home.
Tara sat in her room, gazing at the diapers in her hands. She got out her mini safe that she had got for her birthday and put the diapers inside before locking it shut. She was going out with her friends, but first she had a phone call to make.
‘Hey Gabe, it’s Tara…’


Re: Tara Jennings and the Vacation

Pretty hurried, no?

Re: Tara Jennings and the Vacation

Take more time!

Flesh out. Pain pictures. Don’t tell, show. Develop a plot, rather than a series of events.

Re: Tara Jennings and the Vacation

(Kinky panties, at least over here, is more plausible than alternatives).

Re: Tara Jennings and the Vacation

kinky panties undersandable i see 12 year olds in my town that look like hookers. Grammar good. total story a bit too short, u need to add more elements and things to the story so we can understand them better

Re: Tara Jennings and the Vacation

I’ll toss in my two cents, as well.

I’ll start with some positives:

How Tara got into diapers in the first place actually makes sense, albeit extremely far-fetched sense. People forget things all the time when they travel, and strange ‘wow, talk about good luck!’ things happen after the fact all the time as well, either in the form of a store were they can replace lost items or negligent hotel staff making an error in favor of the subjects, in this case leaving diapers in a drawer. As already mentioned, you have a grasp of grammar and syntax, which is an excellent starting point to any story.

Now, this is where the negative element of my critique comes in and I nitpick:

There are thousands of stories on the Internet where parents go completely off the wall and say, “THAT’S IT. YOU’RE IN DIAPERS FOREVER BECAUSE OF ONE LITTLE ACCIDENT.” A lot of us here have a special loathing for that sort of story, and with good reason. We all wrote something like that when we were beginners and swiftly moved beyond such mundane topics. This story skates perilously close to joining the ranks of such drivel, especially how Tara’s parents flipped out. What really stuck out to me as something that would be in one of those stories is when Tara wets herself in the restaurant and the family at the next table heard it. Dude, seriously? Unless you really sit down and consider the physics of such a situation, I strongly recommend you never write something like that again, because it just doesn’t work like that. When a diaper is pressed against someone’s genitalia there is no space for liquid to ‘splash’ against the padding, and thus very limited opportunities for sound to travel from a girl wearing a diaper sitting down and wetting it to the ears of a family at the next table. The restaurant would have had to be in an anechoic chamber of a room and everyone so silent they could hear their own blood flow.

I get where you were going, though: you wanted to humiliate Tara. Good news: you can still humiliate your characters without going off the deep end of believability. Next time, think it through more completely. Ask yourself: how can I humiliate a character and achieve the emotions I want but make it work?

I’ll give you an example using your own story.

In the restaurant, Tara was wearing a baby diaper, and she wet it while sitting down. Since it was a baby diaper and she was sitting, there was a good chance she could have leaked and embarrassed herself just as thoroughly. Baby diapers are not adult diapers, and while they’re spectacularly absorbent in the right situation, in the wrong situation they’re a sieve. Flooding a baby diaper sitting down does not do wonders for staying dry in my experience.

Another thing: Stay far, far away from excessive use of caps lock. It doesn’t do much for your characters and it really takes away from your language. Exclamation points (ONE, not MANY) do the job just fine, as well as putting in elements like, “the Coast Guard officer yelled.” It carries the point so much more elegantly.

Like Kita said, your characters feel flat and lifeless, as well as terribly unbelievable. You shot them out into space and expected us to give them life when you only offered us a few tidbits to make them work and they don’t, Tara especially. In Tara’s case, you gave us a lot to work with, but no context behind it, you offered glimpses of who she could be outside of the situation she was in, but she was never in any situation where that would have been useful as character-building tools. You could just as easily said, “she was a nice girl who got along with everyone” and left it at that, rather than gushing about what a wonderful person she is. What happens is we take that, read to the part when her parents went off the deep end and shoved her back into diapers and then hate her parents, who otherwise seem like cool folk. We aren’t supposed to hate her parents. They just have no grasp of appropriate discipline, but poor, innocent Tara is so characterized as a victim that it goes from readable to trite. If you think I’m yelling at you, heed this wisdom: whenever I write I look at how my characters interact and how they relate to one another. It’s a complicated web where things can flow very free-form very much of the time when we’re writing, but at certain, crucial moments there must be extremely deliberate relations and emotions established, because those certain, crucial moments will give life and greater significance to events that happen later in the story.

Now, let’s talk about your chapter length. What you have up there is a page, maybe, in the best case. I didn’t measure it, I just looked at it. Once upon a time I was making it a goal for my chapters to be certain lengths. Circumstances, which I finished three years ago or more, had five-page chapters. When I wrote Indigo Flight for the Summer 2010 short story contest, I looked at the rules, saw the limits of how long the story could be, and I made it my goal to hit that maximum limit. The fatal flaw with Indigo Flight’s ending is that I rushed it because I knew that limit was coming up, and even edited out elements to make it fit better. To go back to Circimstances, every chapter I stuck to that length, and it was both a wonderful goal and a sometimes annoying limit. Since you’re starting out, I would say shoot for two pages of text, and by two pages I mean two COMPLETE pages. Then build up to three, five, seven, twenty, whatever floats your boat. Giving yourself a page limit goal will do two things for you. It will force you to think critically about what details you put in and leave out, what events you put in, allude to, foreshadow, or leave out, as well as what sort of scene you set and what details you put in or leave out. Our minds are powerful: we can fill the negative space you leave with the imagery of our choice if you let us, or you can take complete control and give us what you want us to see, and we see it. The second thing it will do for you is force you to think critically about your story’s timeline, because you will be inspired to delve deeply into a plot element and really explore it, or gloss over a block of time in order to get to the next, more important element of the story. I have written chapters that focused on minutes of a day, and I have written chapters that pass over days, weeks, or months in the span of a paragraph. You did a little of that here, but because your chapters were so short, I felt like I was watching a trailer for a movie I might consider seeing. Teasing your reader by holding juicy plot elements just out of reach is something every good author has done at least once. It keeps us turning the page to see what happens next. Teasing your reader by just giving us little snippets of what could be a good story and then saying ‘that’s it, thanks for reading’ isn’t a good way to do things.

Finally, the greatest piece of advice I can give you is to read books by accomplished authors in your theme of choice. Me personally, I thoroughly enjoy the works of Tom Clancy, Naomi Novik, Aaron Allston, and the late, great master Patrick O’Brian, among others. Reading O’Brian’s books did wonders for my writing, because I engaged with the language and hurled myself into the world he was crafting on the wings of his words. Timothy Zahn, Aaron Allston, Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens, Naomi Novik, they all have individual styles and linguistic nuances, but they weave such a glorious web that I cheerfully catch myself in it.

Among the world of diaper story authors for a case study on language, I thoroughly recommend the assorted works of WingZ. He is, in my opinion, our resident master of dark and foreboding worlds and subject matter because of the way he crafted them with language but also sought to bring the reader in with believable emotions and responses of his characters. The Geek and the Cheerleader I and II are fantastic. Elizabeth is excellent at creating stories that lead you all over the place with so much going on all at once, but in such a way that it remains contextual and believable, with layers of emotion and subterfuge that are often quite gripping, especially when the ending ties the elements together. In my opinion, they are two of the finest writers we are privileged to have in our midst. Neekolah, Teekabell, Write and Left, Dementia’s Knight, and many others have also written good, if not great stories over the last few years that explore a lot of options in fiction.

One thing to remember, however, is that not only do I not expect perfection from you, but none of us expect perfection from you, either. That sounds like a slam, but recall that this is a fetish/alternative lifestyle forum, and thus classified as a hobby. None of my stories are perfect. No story is perfect. Perfection is not the goal, anyway. We’re writing fantasy, either based on what we personally want to experience, wish was the accepted norm, et cetera, and we do it because A) it’s fun, and B) we’re interested in it. What you can take away from this, however, that will benefit you in many arenas other than diaper-centered fiction, is the deliberate application of language to achieve a specific goal. Math makes the world go round, literally and figuratively, but language gives it substance and expression. There is no more cherished skill, in my opinion, than the ability to express yourself clearly, coherently, and deliberately. Develop that, hone that, make that your own, and you will thrive.

Re: Tara Jennings and the Vacation

I have to agree with Kita here,

They will get better with positive critique and a willingness to improve.


As it was pointed out earlier, give you characters some dept yet don’t over do it. Don’t get sucked into over describing every little detail but give us enough so that we can visualize the characters and what is happening.

Also it will help to space out the chapters a bit. If you read a book the chapter is not one big paragraph but several smaller ones. This helps people catch some things you may want to stand out in a story, also it helps the readability of your story.

Your grammar and spelling is fantastic and that is one thing that many new writers are horrid at.

Re: Tara Jennings and the Vacation

What a fun vacation :slight_smile: Thanks for the story.