Star Light, Star Bright!
Players: Roger, Roger’s Aunt, Susan.
“Star light, star bright, first diaper I see tonight!”
Susan hummed just a few minutes after eight. Roger was in
the lens of her telescope, and like those nights before,
laying before his aunt getting pinned into his night
diaper. One day, Susan vowed, he’d be lying in front of
her, and she would be pinning him into that delightfully
fluffy piece of cotton. The only thing she would add, she
mused, were a few more accessories.
Facts From Fiction
I went back into diapers at the age of eight following a
bout of bed-wetting that followed the birth of my sister.
Mom’s approach was pragmatic and discussed with only a
small bit of apprehension on my part.
Truth was I hated waking in that cold wet bed, and the
other truth was I couldn’t wait to get put into those
diapers and plastic pants. Of course I was already cross-
dressing a little by then so my sister and I had a lot in
I could go on with those accounts, and will someday, but
for the sake of this story it’s one of the reasons that
Roger and Susan come together as easily as they did.
The platform had taken two weeks to build, but sitting on
the roof as it did gave Susan another sixty feet from the
ground, and more importantly almost three hundred and sixty
degrees of observations. It frightened her mother knowing
her daughter sat on the roof that high, but she’d given in
to her budding young astronomer.
“Jacket please!” Susan’s mother said as Susan wolfed the
last of her sandwich down while moving for the steps. She
got to her new platform from the attic and dormer her
father changed into a small door.
“What is so important that you’ve got to hurry?” Her mother
added as Susan, stopped, turned and grabbed her thermos of
“Mom! Saturn rises soon after sunset during November and
remains visible for most of the night. I want to start
taking the time lapses by eight!” Susan said making it
sound like her mother should have known that.
“Of course, why didn’t I think of that.” Her mother said
smiling as she watched her daughter run up the steps.
That last was true, but that wasn’t why Susan hurried, nor
would the pictures she’d take be a time lapse of Saturn
this night. She already had a beautiful set of photos of
Saturn. What pushed her to that platform so urgently was
that house four blocks away, and those time lapse shots of
her newest heartthrob.
At eight o’clock Roger walked into his room in front of his
mother, removed his bathrobe and stood waiting for her to
open and ready his diaper. A real baby’s diaper or at least
the kind of diaper you’d see on a baby. A cloth diaper, and
he was powdered before that, with plastic panties following
that last diaper pin.
A whole set of pictures taken a week ago hurriedly sat in
Susan’s studio. This set planned. She’d started clicking
when she first stood open mouthed at what she was seeing.
At first, a naked boy, and that perhaps was reason enough
for Susan’s mouth to be open, but odd that his mother was
in the room with him. A mystery for those first few
Curiosity turned to surprise and a bit of shock changing
quickly to fascination as he stood patiently while his
mother opened a large square pad. The diaper followed from
a drawer and Susan shuddered. It wasn’t the cold that
caused it, as Roger sat down on the white hourglass shape
before laying back.
He wasn’t crying nor doing much of anything other than
doing what he had to do so his mother could do what she had
to do. He laid back, spread his legs and a moment later,
after a lot of baby powder, he was pinned into that diaper.
A moment after that he slipped his feet into a pair of
plastic panties. His bottom came up, his baby pants went
over the diaper and with that done his mother was gone.
Roger then stood, and as casually as he might wearing
shorts, walked to his student desk and began doing
homework. By ten or thereabouts he would walk to his bed,
shut the light and leave Susan as fascinated that second
week of nights as she had been on that first.
Susan did try and understand what she was feeling, but
couldn’t get past just being turned on by the whole thing.
Why that was so wasn’t clear, but it was so and that much
was very clear. As soon as he lay over his diaper Susan’s
world grew warm and fuzzy and it got better from that point
Susan was using a fairly powerful refractive telescope.
Unlike her last, this one had a precision coated 120mm
achromatic objective lens. Only important to Susan and
those like her, but critical if you wanted to see things
without risk of distortion.
With it’s magnifying ability and resolution she could
actually detect subtle lunar and planetary features. If
conditions were right and night clear she could discern the
different rings of Saturn. She could also record them with
her 35mm camera that shared space with the eyepiece. She’d
gotten the telescope last year and the camera soon after.
She hadn’t started scanning the world around her till one
hazy night when stargazing wasn’t going to be worth the
effort. Before long she found as much pleasure in those
nights roaming the city as she did plotting the heavens. It
was only by chance while slewing left to right that she
caught Roger than night.
With a focal length of 1000mm what she caught had delighted
her instantly. A telescope that can show you the details of
a ridge on the moon was more than capable of showing Susan
all the detail she cared to see. In fact she could even
discern the small white elephants shape of his diaper pins
his mother used to close the diaper around him. She started
clicking her camera immediately.
Susan had a dozen albums filled with some spectacular
images of the heavens, but none excited her more than the
one she started keeping of Roger. She had details of his
experience better than what she’d have standing in his
room, or at least as good, including some breathtaking
close ups. It’s what she looked at before bed, and smiled
over when she turned her own lights off.
Susan wasn’t sure if diapering him was what turned her on
most, or simply watching his shiny plastic panties and so
very puffy bottom refracting his bedroom light as he moved
about. What was clear was that he wore them each night, and
with some morning observations that followed, she already
knew they were there for a reason.
He was a bed wetter clearly. Which wasn’t so odd in some
ways. What was odd was the size of his night things. What
he wore was as proportional as a baby might wear given the
scale of his diapers and plastic pants when he stood. Far
more than she thought he’d need. His bottom stood out
distinctly as did the front and sides. It was driving her
crazy. Crazy enough that more than one friend asked ‘where
she was suddenly’ when she drifted off at times.
Susan found him in the yearbook, but only that years
discovering he was four months younger than her and a
senior as well. Roger, Susan decided, was one of those
middle of the class sorts of boys after some observations
in the days that followed. Not a geek nor a jock but one of
the majority of students his age in a school that size. She
hadn’t even known his name for those first few weeks and
was careful about it when she finally did.
It had taken some time but she’d found his path home and
some of his habits and mapped her’s to his. Their meeting
was as casual as any might be that day in the library. She
smiled first, and introduced herself over a light
discussion of what he was reading to finally his plans
after graduation. Both of them, she discovered happily,
would be going on to junior collage right there in town.
Susan wasn’t sure if she’d ever date Roger had she not
known about him. Although, she was sure that she wanted to
because she did know about him. What she had planned,
because she knew, wasn’t clear either, but she had
fantasies. Some of those daydreams leaving her shivering
for a second or two even in the middle of class.
It wasn’t his mother either she’d found out. That part
caught Susan off guard, as did knowing Roger’s mother was
in an institution. An accessory after the fact to an armed
robbery. A boy friend, Roger said, and his mother was
appealing her conviction. So it was his aunt that was
diapering him Susan discovered.
Of course all of this took a dozen casual dates to come
out, but that was the nice thing about casual dates. Susan
also came to like Roger on a boy girl level, but she was
clear headed on why she was dating him. One day he’d be
laying before her, she’d decided, only he’d be nursing a
baby’s bottle then.
It was her telescope that got them together in the
evenings, and she was always sure to keep it pointing at
the sky when he stood on the platform with her. Roger’s
house stood four blocks away and Susan allowed him to show
her where he thought it was. Fortunately that was said in
passing, and forgot ton, as she shared what she knew of the
sky Roger was looking at.
Susan’s house stood on the crest of a small hill that
slopped down into town. Behind her another rolling hill and
behind that a valley. It was a spectacular view and a good
reason to be together on that sturdy platform alone. Their
first kiss came when she shared the eyepiece with him
tracking a meteor arcing across their part of the sky one
It was that meteor that pushed the telescope towards the
horizon bringing that part of town where Roger lived into
the bottom edge of the lens. He moved it further when Susan
left for another thermos of coco. Roger found his room
while Susan stood watching the water boil and, of all
things, his aunt clearly folding his diapers into his
His shock was almost overwhelming. More so as he watched in
horror over the detail of what he was looking at. If Susan
had ever looked in that direction, and at those particular
times… Those times when he was diapered for bed Susan
would have seen it all.
Roger was quick to bring the telescope back up when Susan
came through the dormer. “See any more?” Susan asked taking
the ten steps to the roof’s peek where the platform stood.
It was her casualness that gave Roger his only sense of
If she knew, Roger thought, she wouldn’t have been so
casual about it. He was sure of that as he fought for
control before saying: “Nope, just that one!”
Necking, this night, was out of the question for Roger, and
Roger was just able to hang on to his nerve as he said good
night. He’d waited an hour before breaching the subject of
leaving saying he had a test tomorrow, and would see her at
school. The kiss was casual but Susan knew something was
wrong. She also knew what it might be and cursed giving him
that time alone with her telescope.
She knew without a doubt what it was when she slewed to
Roger’s house, some time later, and found the drapes
pulled. It was the first time he’d done that. His room
couldn’t be seen from the street, nor from any place else
without the aid of a telescope like Susan’s so it was clear
he’d seen what Susan had been seeing, or at least what she
might have been seeing.
Roger sat in his room trying to focus on his homework,
sitting in his diaper and plastic pants like most nights,
but now in a robe. He’d pulled the drapes the moment he’d
arrived home, and thankfully his aunt hadn’t noticed. He
also felt lucky to have discovered that exposure before
Susan had. He was a mix of concern, fear, foreboding, and
oddly enough, excitement over the possibility of being seen
That last only a thought. A wondering with an obvious
conclusion that if Susan did know she would never have
shown an interest in him? He laid it aside convinced by
that reasoning alone that she didn’t. Girls don’t date guys
that wet their beds. He’d always had that lingering fear of
discovery. Right from the first. Right after his aunt had
insisted on him going back into diapers.
He’d argued over being put back into diapers, when it was
brought up, but the fact was he did sometimes wet his bed.
Not always but often enough to make her point valid, and
his arguments academic. He’d given in to her demands
knowing he had to anyway.
What bothered him most, when that time did come, was that
his aunt had made them instead of buying something from a
pharmacy. She’d made his diapers far too thick and he knew
it was on purpose. He also suspected it was why his diaper
pins had those little characters on them that she used. Not
to mention the fact that his plastic pants were far too
loud besides. She wanted him to stop and this was her way
of helping him do that.
It wasn’t going to happen, because what bothered him most
was that he liked them. Not at first, or if he did it was
overshadowed by his embarrassment, but he did. He hated
that part of him that found it so comforting when his aunt
said it was time. Exciting, even at first perhaps, but
Roger wouldn’t admit to that either.
Roger’s logic simply worked itself to a point suggesting
his comfort in wearing such things was more subconscious
than conscious. His diapers and noisy plastic pants touched
something from his childhood, and thus not Roger the adult.
A rational that left him, more or less at ease, over how he
was now sleeping.
Of course his aunt had made them for the very reasons Roger
guessed. She’d looked at what was available but feared that
the clinical approach would make him too comfortable enough
not to want to stop. She reasoned that looking more like a
baby would embarrass him enough to stop.
So, with those thoughts, she had picked up a pattern for a
baby’s diaper, and baby pants. Those baby pants designed
with the legs facing forward for a reason. It took some
doing to change the sizes from the baby’s pattern to the
boy, but she’d modified patterns before and it served her
well this time.
Seven layers of Birdseye cotton, hemmed in a white flat
satin edging. Shaped in that hourglass contour was as close
as she could get to a real baby’s diaper. It was pretty
damn close given the pattern she’d used, as were those baby
pants that truly looked like baby pants.
It was funny in a way when she purchased the plastic. Funny
because the woman helping her find the “right” plastic for
his panties warned her that the one she wanted might be a
bit too noisy. That was exactly what his aunt wanted, and
she loved the noise as she fashioned his first pair.
She loved that look when the diaper came up between his
legs. That smell and noise of his baby pants as well, and
some of it had to do with the act of diapering him. It was
soothing on a level that both thrilled and bothered her a
bit. Pleasing even which also bothered her.
He’d argued over her diapering him, but she insisted and,
of course, won. She was shaking so badly when she left his
room that first night she could hardly stand it. It got
better after that, and that might be subjective in some
ways because her shaking didn’t go away. It was almost
painful that waiting till it was time on some nights.
It would be another irony that Susan was feeling those same
sorts of emotions and cursed those drapes that now blocked
her pleasure. Meanwhile Roger was not making any headway
with his homework, and he kept lifting his hand away from
his baby pants when he found it there again. It seemed to
have a mind of it’s own, and he smiled suddenly wishing it
There is always an odd sense of humor in such things, and
all three might have found it that night if they knew what
they were sharing in. Roger began thinking that still
sitting at his desk. He finished those thoughts lying on
Susan, at nearly that same moment, was looking through
Roger’s "Baby Album and shuddered herself. Almost exactly
near the time that Roger’s aunt clicked off her “personal
vibrator”. She had purchased it long before Roger arrived,
and smiled at the box that read: “For the relief of stress:
Contoured for personal comfort on those hard to reach
All three lay with their private thoughts that night. All
“Hey Roger!” Susan said catching up with him on the way to
school. Before meeting him she rode the bus all the way.
She got off now a block before Roger’s place and made her
way to his house for those walks.
“Hey Susan!” Roger said feeling his anxiety climb when she
appeared. He always talked freely about something after
that greeting, but not this morning and another point of
confirmation passed. Susan was sure Roger now knew, but
given it was Susan, she faced it head on. No better time
like the present she decided.
“Would it make any difference if I told you it doesn’t
matter?” Susan said hoping the lack of information would
still leave him understanding her subject. If he did know,
and she was sure he did, then he was thinking about it as
“What?” Roger said but making it sound more like shock from
a disclosure than a question.
“You know!” Susan said and then added: “I mean it doesn’t
matter. It never did even when I saw you that first time.”
If Roger wasn’t clear on what she meant before, he was now,
and his abrupt stop confirmed it. His face glowed almost
crimson, and his eyes were searching her’s with a touch of
fear in them. If she had said boo in that instant he would
have bolted left or right like a deer.
“Hey, I’m serious. It really doesn’t matter!” Susan said
putting her hand on his arm.
“How long have you known?” Roger asked already resigned to
whatever fate awaited him.
“Long enough to be able to say that it doesn’t matter!”
Susan said with emphasis before she smiled slightly and
added: “Long enough to be turned on a little by it.”
There were kids walking past, and their close proximity
caused Susan and Roger to pause till they were alone again
as Roger spoke: “Are you serious?”
“Definitely! Most definitely!” Susan said bending in to
kiss him. He didn’t kiss back for a time, but did after a
time and a weight lifted then.
“I can’t help it. I mean I’ve tried but it seems to happen
when I’m stressed.” Roger said feeling the need to explain
it in someway.
Susan took his hand and started walking towards school and
said: “It’s like I said, it doesn’t matter.”
Roger thoughts were swirling at that moment and speechless
over this series of revelations. A sense of quiet
surrounding them as they walked. A quiet not chilling, but
more of a comforting calmness for a bit. Each lost in their
thoughts, until Susan said: “Can I ask you something?
“Personal? Yes!” Roger said with an ironic sort of laugh.
It didn’t get any more personal that what had already been
shared he thought.
“Do you like them in some sort of way?” Susan asked.
Roger stopped, but only a step before starting to walk
again. It wasn’t a question he’d thought he’d be asked, so
no answer was played out first, but none was needed
suddenly and he said: “Some. A little I think. Yes, I guess
so.” He realized the risk of that answer and added: “I mean
I’m kind of use to them I suppose.”
“But they turn you on a little don’t they?” Susan asked
sounding hopeful. It was her tone more than the question
that made him capable of answering. It was a nice sort of
tone that suggested she was hoping for a yes.
“Yes.” Roger said answering honestly. Truth was Roger was
already turned on, and so was Susan.
“Think you might be able to handle me putting you into
those things someday?” Susan asked almost in a whisper.
Roger was suddenly feeling slightly faint or giddy. His
legs rubbery. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears
and lost his voice as he croaked: “Yes. I mean no! I mean I
wouldn’t mind, but I’m not sure I’d be able to handle it. I
Susan had put a finger over his lips after tugging his hand
for him to stop and said: “I know what you mean. So is your
aunt out for the day?”
They stood within sight of the school, but it had drifted
out of their focus in those seconds. Most of the world was
a blur in those seconds. Cars honked, bells rang in the
distance and a siren sounded off near town. None of it
noticed by either as Roger said: “Yes!”
They turned together and joined hands again walking back to
Roger’s house. That silence again, but this time it wasn’t
awkward. There were fantasies forming. Each with their own
and slightly different version, but common over what was
about to happen. Susan shuddered a bit and matched what
Roger was feeling as he walked.
His key let them in and their books landed on the floor.
Susan didn’t know the layout of the old house but she knew
where Roger’s room was. She led. He followed falling slowly
away from the reality he’d had till the door opened.
He felt this way when his aunt said it was time. At least
after a time. That lack of reality shifting slightly into
his fantasy, and he was always a mental baby by the time
they reached the top of the steps. He was in that place
again and Susan saw his glazed look as she turned to kiss
Susan knew boys as well as most girls know boys, and she
had seen that look before but she also knew this was
different given what they were going to do. It was a kind
of test question to confirm what she suspected more than a
precursor to their roles. She knew there was going to be
some sort of role between them. That was almost a given
knowing what was about to happen but she asked: “Will you
be a baby for me precious?”
His face softened instantly and he nodded a yes. He seemed
almost catatonic in that state as she walked him down the
hall to his room. He was already her baby, she mused, and
with that thought shuddered again. It was her third orgasm
since catching up to him that morning. She knew there would
be more as they reached the door.
He was as passive as anyone could be, and for those entire
set of moments she took to undress him. Everything was up
to Susan. Her motions were hurried but not feverish. There
was some amount of pleasure in this part and Susan savored
it. More when she moved to his dresser.
Susan knew where everything was and brought the changing
pad out first. The diaper followed and felt exactly as she
imagined. A soft almost spongy softness between her
fingers, and so cute.
He stood as he had so many times before till she eased him
to the bed’s edge. Not exactly as before with his aunt, she
noticed, making her smile. She smiled wider because if she
waited too long he really would need it.
He went meekly to the hourglass shape of that diaper and
lay back with a soft smile on his own face. Susan,
carefully, purposefully, twisted the baby powder open,
upending it before she shook it. That smell drifting into
both fantasies as Susan rubbed it between his legs. His own
hand slipped under her skirt.
She flinched slightly at his touch but it was from the
pleasure of it. She was incredibly sensitive as was he and
she knew instinctively when to stop with his baby powder.
She also knew she’d never finish diapering him. A second
after her panties fell she straddled him knowing it was ok,
this pause. OK, because their passion would build again.
The outside world closed around them before their eyes did,
and for those few brief seconds nothing mattered. There was
sex and then there was sex, and this went just a bit past
that. All of those fantasies, each had formed, fell into
something incredibly wonderful and impossible to describe.
Even as their passion ebb there was that lingering feeling
of warmth making you want to hug yourself.
It remained with both as Susan stood again, and stayed
strong as she brought the diaper up thinking if this really
was the reason or not. It was, and she did what she’d
wanted to do for all the weeks she’d seen it done. This
time though Roger wasn’t that fearful young man. His eyes
said as much.
He was gone from there as that glaze returned with the
touch of cotton. He was lost in his own world, she guessed,
knowing at some level that there was no adult in those
eyes. She pinned his diaper closed, found the baby pants,
and added those as slowly, savoring the process itself
before the end.
They lay together for a time, sharing that time but in
their own way and for their own reasons. She at his back
and he formed in front of her like two spoons sitting in a
tray. Her hand resting comfortably on his baby pants. For a
time that hand still. It wasn’t after a time.
They shared each other within that hour, this time his baby
pants and diaper part of their play and every bit as
complex and simple as the last. Longer as well and that was
more than ok when she closed his diaper around him again.
That third time took them to the point of exhaustion, and
he’d breast fed his way to that threshold.
They left for the day, walking most of it quietly, till
they could both return home at the proper time. They window
shopped some of it. Her teasing him over some of the baby
things she found within the mall. He took the pacifier as
her gift promising to have it in his mouth that night when
she pointed her telescope at his window.
Those pictures would be added to the album soon after, and
how delightful they would be she thought as he waved at the
small speck of light blinking on the hill. Susan had
borrowed two diapers and a pair of plastic pants from the
pile held in reserves his aunt kept in his closet. He owned
two dozen of those diapers and eight pair of baby pants.
They were waiting for him that Saturday morning when he
told his aunt he was going to the library. He knew Susan
had purchased things because she had said as much. That
pacifier he had hidden in his room wasn’t needed she’d
promised. It was his first baby bottle when he laid over
her pink satin spread and his diaper.
There were a lot of first that day and he resisted some of
it. That quilted satin bed jacket from a thrift store
wasn’t meant for boy he’d said. A point made before she
countered. He wasn’t a boy, nor a man and a baby needed a
top! Besides, she’d noted, it was powder blue if you
ignored the pink satin ribbon that tied it closed. He did,
and she tied it closed.
Her mother’s tennis panties were large enough to be a baby
girl’s ruffled pair of Rhumba panties when she brought them
out. When those did appear it was too late for him to argue
against them. He found no reasons, after a time, to argue
against any of it, and cuddled her pink plush bear as if
he’d owned if for all of his life.
He liked the pudding, hated the carrots, and tolerated the
rice and beef. He was also torn between the bottle after or
her breast. She shared time between both finding that the
bottle was more convenient after they made love, and the
breast best working up to it.
By the time Roger reached home that night there were no
fantasies left. Those were replaced with reality. Some of
it having gone well past what he’d dreamed. He almost
skipped over his memories of that day. He was well past
what he could have ever imagined. More than enough to carry
him to bed that night.
Although, as Roger’s aunt diapered him for bed, Susan was
in her room savoring her own memories of that day. For her
they were as satisfying as with him. Satisfying but not
nearly enough as she sat there working on his new dress.
She was humming: Star light, star bright, first dress he’ll
see tomorrow night…
Roger’s co-worker was a wreck. It showed in his eyes and in
the way he slumped into his chair that morning. Roger
wasn’t and that was clear when they greeted each other. His
co-worker suddenly angry as he said: “How the hell can you
be so chipper in the mornings with what we face?”
Roger smiled and said: “You’ve got to learn how to separate
what you do here and what you do away from here.”
“Easier said than done.” His co-worker said in frustration.
Roger nodded in sympathy but thought on what he’d said. It
was easier said than done, he mused and almost said as
Of course his wife, Susan, was a large part of that. Susan
and he had started dating as seniors and continued till
they graduated. So had that touch of a life style few would
Roger’s first baby dress was unnerving, but his resistance
faltered the moment she threatened not to diaper him if he
didn’t cooperate. His next dress easier to get into after
that. Some of it because he’d grown use to them. Although
his cooperation was always rewarded.
Roger wasn’t sure where he went mentally when he came home,
as Susan began his transformations, but he liked being
there. Susan herself wasn’t sure exactly where she took
Roger as she went through those steps, but she knew she
enjoyed those trips as much as he did.
She also adored Roberta when she finally surfaced.
Which wasn’t too unlike how Roger’s aunt felt when she took
her new boarder’s hand to walk him to Roger’s old room.
Mary Beth Sanford