Split feelings

This story was inspired by a story on an omorashi website that bonsai posted a while back (Zyrouki’s ‘Wet Note’)

Split Feelings

Andy and Amy Johnson walked through the door of their new foster parents’ house, filled with worry, joy and apprehension. Andy was 14 and the older of the two. He was relatively tall for his age, and had dark hair and eyes. He was quite intelligent but he was never top of the class. Amy was 13. Her blonde hair, blue eyes and relative shortness for her age made Andy think she was very cute. He knew it was sick to be attracted to your own sister but he couldn’t control it, no matter how hard he tried: he could not help but be attracted to her in a way he knew a brother shouldn’t. Amy was particularly worried about moving into a new family; she felt comfortable in the children’s home and felt out of place with her new parents. She thought it would be better, but now…
Andy jogged up the stairs to his new bedroom. It had plenty of room for his stuff, plus a computer in the corner. He had a double bed, and since he tended to spread out like a starfish in his sleep he was appreciative of this little detail. He was also glad of this because there was space underneath his bed to hid his… Things. In the depth of his luggage Andy had a skirt and tights: he was a crossdresser. As long as he could remember he had wanted to dress like a girl, and he had barely had a chance in the care home. Hopefully now time alone would be more frequent.

Their new parents were talking in the dining room to Amy, who was still worried about what she would do now, in a new family and a new school. Her new parents were fairly strict and a little odd. While they were trying their best to make her feel at home, she felt uneasy. She and her brother were taken away from their original parents when she was seven - she had suffered physical and sexual abuse ever since she was a baby, and her parents were sentenced to 15 years each - enough to see through her childhood. Andy had not been treated as badly, but had been beaten by their father fairly regularly. There had been no lasting effects with Andy, but Amy had been left with an instinctive distrust of unfamiliar adults. Her new parents were still fairly new to her and she was almost fearful of them.
Andy finished putting his clothes in his cupboard, putting his stuff out in his room and hiding his feminine side from view. Contrary to Amy, he was looking forward to putting his past behind him and turning an important page in his life. He headed downstairs to dinner, and then he and his sister went straight to bed. The day had been long, tiring and stressful.

‘Andy! Andy!’ Came the frantic whisper. Andy looked up dozily at his clock, which read 4:33.
‘Amy, what are you playing… Oh.’ Amy was standing next to his bed in tears, and her pajama bottoms were soaked. The putrid smell of urine filled the air. ‘I wet the bed… I didn’t know what else to do other than come and talk to you…’ Whimpered Amy, who had collapsed into Andy’s arms. ‘It’s okay,’ He whispered back, ‘Let’s get you sorted out before mum and dad realize.’ Amy led the way back to her room, and Andy couldn’t help but sneak a glance at her bottom. The wetness had spread right up it and he was feeling very aroused…
Andy shook his head and snapped out of it. He pulled the sheets off Amy’s bed and put them in the washing machine in the laundry room next door. He put new sheets on Amy’s bed and put her pajamas in the washing machine with the sheets. As he walked into his sister’s room she was naked as she had not changed into new pajamas yet. Andy turned away from her as her arms flew over her breasts and crotch to preserve at least a little dignity. Once changed she gave Andy a hug of thanks and went back to bed. Andy walked back to his room, cursing himself for being aroused by his sister’s plight; she had come to him for help and he had an urge to take advantage, which he almost hated himself for. While he was thinking this a tap came on the door and Amy walked in. ‘Can I come in with you?’ she asked, ‘I felt alone after what happened.’
Andy had said yes immediately and regretted it. Amy got in the bed and snuggled up to him. He felt so aroused, yet so terrible for feeling that way. Amy had already fallen asleep in his arms, and eventually Andy worried himself to sleep.

Andy woke up with his arms around Amy, unable to move as she was still asleep. To Andy’s horror and, in an odd way, joy, one of his hands had slipped underneath her buttoned pajama top during the night and had come to rest on one of her sizable breasts. Andy knew that if he moved his hand it could wake Amy up but if he didn’t she would be angry with him when she awoke. At the same time Andy was enjoying having his hand there immensely, but knew that the right thing to do was move it. As his hand left her top she awoke and groaned a tired groan. Her bottoms were dry, much to her relief, and she got out of bed, plodding off down to breakfast. Andy, who had been feigning sleep, had all kinds of thoughts raging through his head. He felt almost nauseous that he had not moved his hand immediately and had violated his sister, who had placed trust in him only for him to take advantage. At the same time he had loved how wonderful he had felt when his hand was on her breasts and wanted more. With his feelings split, he got up out of bed and wandered out of his room, heading to breakfast with the rest of the family.

Re: Split feelings

To be honest, by adding the incest element to the story you have turned me away from the story. You may have a great story in mind, but by adding that element you went down a road I am not comfortable with.

As a writer, you need to decide the positive and negative elements of adding certain elements to your story. If an element has not real purpose for advancing the real story line of a story (which involves most sex/incest scenes), then you must question the purpose of putting it there. Although these scenes will attract some readers, they will turn others away.

As a writer, I have my main characters be children, which turns off many readers. Some only like main characters to be boys, and other prefer girls. I will alternate my main characters between the two. This also expands my writing skills, for developing a main character is a little different for a girl than it is for a boy.

I will point out one more issue. Most readers on internet sites look to the first chapter to get a feel for a story and decide if they want to read more. This makes it even more critical to establish a path for your story and at least hint at what is going to happy in the story in that first chapter. If you had established the characters and then later added some of the incest elements, I might have been able to skip over them and keep reading, but from my current perspective this is an incest/sex story with a girl that will be put back into diapers for bedwetting. There will also be a boy exploring his interest in female clothing and what that might mean. That is a lot to be in a story with a lot that will bring in some readers and turn others away. Although I would love to read about some of those elements, others will turn me away so I will never know if this is a good story or not, just because of what you put in that first chapter.

I wish you luck in your writing.