Sorry this was so late in getting posted today.
I hope you like it,
With the exertion of all that energy, Billy was asleep at his mommy’s breast in minutes. Sharon watched him for a few moments as he occasionally would begin nursing again only to slowly relax until the remaining suction was the only thing keeping her nipple in his mouth.
She still felt terrible that she had taken his binky from him, even if it was only for a few seconds. The anguish in his little voice as he cried ‘Bink’ several times almost tore her heart out. She knew she had to get this point across though, he would be miserable if she didn’t.
She knew he had thought that he could back away, shut her out. It wasn’t an option now. Everything Billy needed he had to get from her, especially her breast milk. There was no way he could avoid interacting with her. Before all of this started, he could go to his room and see to what he needed without interacting with her if he needed to. Now, that was no longer an option. She knew if he had tried to back off, it would make things very difficult for several days and he would ultimately end up right where they were now anyway. By taking his binky away for a moment, she had saved him some really hard moments. It still didn’t make it easier to deal with his pleading for his binky though.
Sharon released his hold on her breast, and gave him his pacifier. Getting up, she laid him down gently in his crib. She hoped he would wake up in a better mood next time. Kissing him on his cheek, she patted his bottom gently and left his room.
When she got to the kitchen, Rick looked at her with a questioning expression. She explained what happened in the nursery, ending with “I felt so horrible taking his binky like that, I just didn’t know how else to get it across to him.” with a pained expression.
“Honey,” Rick said, getting up and giving her a hug, “I don’t blame you for handling it the way you did. He had to learn one way or the other, and this way was probably easier on him in the long run.” he explained as he held her close. “I don’t think he was trying to push you away so-to-speak, I think he didn’t think he had any business taking comfort from you after what he did to you. Kids tend to own a problem, almost like a reflex.”.
Rachael looked up from what she was doing and added “He’s right. I’ve seen kids in the ER that were dreadfully abused, and they think it’s their fault.”.
This didn’t help Sharon. It hadn’t occurred to her that Billy might look at things that way, that was bad enough, but then she’d taken his pacifier from him. “What signal does that send?” she thought. She took some comfort in knowing that inadvertently, what she’d told him had been right though, it wasn’t his fault. She vowed to address it when he woke up.
There was still some work to do on the preparations, so Sharon busied herself with getting things ready. Everyone helped out and pretty soon, her mother came in. Giving her mom a hug, she said “Hi, how did it go this afternoon?”.
“Hi Sweety, it went fine, everyone had a good time.” Phillis said with a smile as she step back from hugging her daughter. She had spent the afternoon helping a group of elderly folks at a nursing home celebrate the holiday.
Rachael was next in line for a hug and then the two Son-in-law’s. “Where are my grandson’s?” she asked.
“Bobby is playing in the livingroom.” Rachael answered.
“Billy is asleep in his crib.” Sharon told her.
“OK, I guess Bobby’s first then.” Phillis said and made her way to the livingroom for some serious hugs and kisses. She took her time snuggling for a bit with Bobby before leaving him to play with his toys and making her way back to the kitchen.
She had been there only a couple of minutes and Billy made babbling sounds over the intercom. “Let me get him, alright?” she asked Sharon.
Sharon had hoped to talk with Billy for a little bit before bringing him out, but instead said “OK Mom, it’s your turn” with a smile. She knew that Phillis had only been able to spend an hour with him since he went into the hospital.
“I’ll be back in a little bit.” Phillis said and headed for the nursery.
Billy had slowly come awake, feeling much better this time. He nursed his binky for a bit, thoroughly enjoying the comfort it gave him, before opening his eyes. He nuzzled his Pooh Bear the moment he saw it. He so loved the feeling of the stuffed animal against his face. As he nuzzled, he felt the soft cloth diaper laying on the mattress below his face as well, and sighed at the wonderful feelings it gave him.
“It’s so nice, Pooh.” he told his bear. “It just feels so good to snuggle and have Nummies and just be a baby again. I love this so much! And I love you to Pooh.” he finished.
Phillis heard him say ‘Pooh’ and smiled as she approached his crib. “Are you talking to Pooh Bear, Baby?” she asked him.
Turning his head and smiling at hearing his grandmother’s voice, Billy said “Gamma!” and giggled.
Picking Billy up, Phillis said “Hi Baby.” and snuggled him close. Holding his diapered bottom, she could feel that his diaper was very wet. “You need a dry bottom baby boy. Let’s get you changed, you’re all wet.” she told him. She also noticed that the back of his sleeper was damp at the sides of his diaper from his diaper leaking. She put him back down in his crib for a moment telling him “Let me get some dry clothes for you Baby, hold on a sec.” as she went to the dresser.
She opened his top drawer and pulled out a t-shirt, and picked up some things from the changing table so she could change his diaper. Moving back to the crib, she put the side down and gently removed his sleeper. Seeing his very swollen diaper, it was no wonder his clothes had gotten wet. “You made lots of pee pee in your dipey Baby, we need to make it a bit thicker I think. Hold on.” she said as she put the side of the crib back up and went to get a diaper doubler. Returning to the crib, she preceded to remove his wet diaper and wipe him clean. Once he was all clean, she slid the fresh diaper under him, centering the doubler on the diaper. Setting him down, she quickly taped it up nice and snug.
Billy liked the way the thick diaper felt on his bottom. It was like having a soft hug on his bottom all the time. Gamma surprised him when she lifted his legs again. He saw her slide something else under him, not knowing what it was.
Phillis spread the cloth diaper out in the back under his bottom, and brought it up between his legs. With years of experience from using cloth on her own children, she expertly pinned the cloth diaper snugly around his waist. She smiled at Billy when he gave a contented sigh with closed eyes as he felt the soft diaper come up between his legs. She had made sure that the cloth covered the entire disposable so the only thing against his legs was soft cotton.
“Let’s get your shirt on Baby.” she said as she slid the t-shirt over his head and threaded his arms through the short sleeves. Putting socks on his feet, she raised the cribside and disposed of the wet diaper. Returning to the crib, she picked him up and cuddled him close, sitting in the rocking chair.
“Gamma put a soft didee over your diaper Baby, does that feel good?” she asked him smiling.
Billy couldn’t believe how good it felt. The diaper was really thick between his legs and prevented his knees from coming anywhere near together. He noticed when he giggled and kicked his legs several times to tell Gamma that it felt really good, the diaper felt so soft as his legs moved against it.
“Come on, let’s go show Mommy and Daddy how cute you look.” Phillis told him. She picked him up and held him with his legs hugging her waist, his soft padded bottom, held by her hand, prominently leading the way as she carried him to the kitchen. When they came around the corner and entered the kitchen, Sharon saw him and immediately noticed the cloth diaper. “He looks so adorable in that!” she thought. Giving her mother a curious look she said “Mom?”.
Turning Billy so he faced forward, displaying the expertly pinned cloth diaper and his cute little blue diaper pins, she said “Well, in all the images I ever saw of Baby New Year, he wore a cloth diaper, not a disposable.” with a smile.
This gave everyone a chuckle. Sharon saw Billy look at her, and he had the saddest expression on his face as his eyes darted to the bruise on her cheek. She went to him and held her arms out.
“He’s just adorable.” Rachael said.
Billy saw the mark on Mommy’s face again and the memory of what happened returned. He felt so bad that he was responsible for that. When Mommy came to him and with a smile held her arms out to him, he immediately said “Mommy.” and held his arms up.
Sharon took Billy from her mom and held him in a tight embrace. Her hand automatically went to his diapered bottom and she noticed how nice the softness of the cloth diaper was as she patted his diaper. When she finally pulled her face back to look at him, she asked “Do you like your soft dipey Baby?”.
Billy smiled a big smile and kicked his legs.
“I’m glad Sweety. Do you want Mommy to keep a cloth dipey over your Huggies?”.
Billy giggled and kicked his legs several more times.
Sharon smiled and said “Alright Baby, we’ll make sure you have a nice soft dipey on from now on.” and brought his head back to her chest, snuggling him close and rocking him as she kissed him on his forehead. It would be a little more work when it came time to change him, but the bright side was, if his diaper leaked, the cloth diaper would absorb it and perhaps save on the need to change his clothing.
Sharon walked out of the kitchen for a moment and pulled back from him to look him in the eye. “Sweety, I love you so much.” she told him. “I’m sorry I took your binky from you earlier Baby. It was not nice, and I promise I will never take your binky away again. It’s yours until you don’t want it anymore, I promise.” and cuddled him once again.
Billy was so happy to hear her say that. He had gotten so scared when she took it before. But more importantly, she had said he wouldn’t have to give it up until he wanted to. The way he saw things now, it would be a long time before he even thought of putting his binky away. He nuzzled closer to Mommy, comforted by her gentle hug, the security of his binky as he nursed, and the feel of her hand patting his very thick, soft dipey.