Shudder Big Brother

This story is inspired by several of the awesome writers on this site. I’ve been following this site for years and never felt creative enough to try a story of my own. Here is my first attempt.

After arriving at Sean’s house for our sleep over I realized that I forgot my extra change of underwear and pajamas. “Oh well” I thought. It wouldn’t be the first time I wore the same underwear two days in a row.

Sean was 6 years old and I was 8 (although small for my age). We are both about the same height and weight. Sean also had a little brother, Trever, he was three at the time and still very much in the middle of potty training and very big for his age. Sean’s Mom and Dad divorced a few years back which I think has been pretty hard on them both, but I never knew how much it affected Sean and his brother until that fun-filled sleepover.

After dropping off my stuff in his room I came to the realization that I don’t think I have ever been in his room before. We always just played in the living room or outside. I took note that Sean and Trever must share the same room, because of the crib and changing table. The room, as a whole, looked very babyish. Instead of Power Ranger posters he had a Barney night light and instead of action figures on the floor he had stuffed animals, the kind that talk when you squeeze them. I recognized one from an annoying commercial with a very particular jingle that always got stuck in my head. Of course, now that I am trying to remember it I can’t quite seem to get it right. It had something to do with the alphabet and learning to count to ten.

I headed back to the living room where Sean and I immediately began to play power rangers. Since Trever was with his dad this weakend I was glad to have Sean all to myself. I kind of felt like I was a “big brother” role model to him and I always wanted to show off. Recently, my dad got me boxers for underwear which of course was a huge milestone to cross in any kids childhood. No more cartoon print underwear! Consequently the boxers were made for little kids and thus had Spiderman on them. All big kids liked Spider-man though; so in my world he was an upgrade to Mickey Mouse.

“Can I be the green ranger today instead of the red one?” Sean said.

“Ok.” The green ranger is the coolest, but I had to let Sean feel cooler than me every once in a while I guess. It’s what any good big brother would do.

“I’m glad your here. I get to be a big boy again.” Sean said. I was clearly doing a good job as a big brother role model and I felt pretty good about that.

“Hey guys time for a nap.” Sean’s Mom said. Marie was very pretty and also overprotective. Blond hair, blue eyes, and definitely a cheer-leader type. She was still petite despite two kids. I think she was in her late twenties, but when you are eight years old anyone between 18 and 30 looked the same. She would never let Sean wander far from home even though we lived in a gated community. Wait did she say nap? I haven’t taken in a nap in years…

“Miss Marie.” I know it’s corny, but she wanted me to call her mommy and that seemed worse.

“Yes sweetheart?”

“I didn’t bring any pajamas or change of clothes tonight is it ok if I just sleep in my boxers.” I thought it was a great opportunity to drop the bomb on how mature I was with my new boxers.

“Don’t worry sweetheart I’m sure Sean or Trever will have a spare set of jammies you can borrow.” She said.

Trever… he is big for his age, but is still only a toddler. I sure hope I’m not stuck with his pajamas tonight. Next thing I knew Sean was running to the bedroom and Marie bent down and picked me up and carried me in. The minute she lifted me up I was a bit stunned. It was something I’ve only ever see her do with Trever and occasionally Sean, but I always thought it was babyish. She knows I’m eight years old right? As soon as we arrived in the room I smelt something that I didn’t notice earlier today, it was baby powder and it was strong.

“You wait right here Mark while I get Sean ready for his nap and then I will get you some jammies.” She looked at me like a mommy would look at a young child, whom they didn’t yet trust to dress or change themselves.
Next thing I knew she picked up Sean and laid him on the changing table. Off came his power ranger shirt and cargo shorts, and his Pull up… Wait PULL UP! Here I am bragging about boxers and Sean’s still potty training! Why didn’t I know this. As my mind was working its way around this situation I barely noticed that Sean was diapered and put in his bed in rather swift motions. Now I was the one being deposited on the changing table. I was stunned, floored, and unable to form a protest. What was I supposed to say?

“I’m a big boy and I don’t need diapers.” Wow, now that I said it I realize it sounded so much more childish than in my head. To be fair, my head was on overdrive at this point.

“I’m sure you don’t sweetheart but you only have one pair of underwear and these are just a precaution.” She said as she pulled my boxers off. “Now lift your butt.” I did so begrudgingly. She was the adult and I was stuck here for the weekend. Surely I couldn’t argue or throw a tantrum, that would just make me look more like a toddler. The last tape was in place as I admired that at least these weren’t baby diapers. They were meant bed wetting older kids and they didn’t have any designs on them.

She picked me up and carried me over to Trever’s crib where she laid me down and pulled up the blankets. I was in in just a diaper by the way…

“I brought my sleeping bag so I don’t need to sleep in the crib miss Marie.”
“I know sweetie, but the crib is so much more comfortable than the hard floor so I think you will enjoy it much more. Now, would you like one of Trever’s teddy bears to keep you company?” Marie said as she lifted up the crib gate.
“No thanks.” That was all I could muster at this point.

“Ok boys I’ll come and get you up in an hour and half so sweet dreams.” She said as she turned on the night light and closed the door.

Ok, I can do this. I just have to prove what a big boy I am and not have an accident. Suddenly a revelation occurred to me. I had to go potty and I kind of have to go bad. With all of the craziness happening it never occurred to me earlier, but now it was all I could think about. I had two problems. First, I was in a bigger than average crib with the railing up, and could not figure out how to get out. Clearly, Trever liked to escape a lot, because this thing was rigged up like Alcatraz. Second, I knew the only way to get Marie’s attention would be to scream my lungs off and then I would have to tell her I forgot to go potty first. Of course this would only emphasize the fact that I was a toddler in her eyes.
Maybe, if I force myself to sleep I wouldn’t notice the nag of my bladder and when Marie wakes me up I can make a quick run to the bathroom. Ok that’s my plan. It seemed doable. 20 minutes later I was out.

I had one of those bathroom dreams. You know, the ones where you have to go potty in your dream and so you go the bathroom and let it out. Well, next thing I knew I felt a strange feeling on my left thigh and I woke up pretty quick. It was Marie and she had her hand in the seam of my diaper. It appeared as though she was checking to see if I had an accident. Luckily, despite that dream I felt dry.

“Ah, sweetie it looks like somebody is in need of diaper change.” Marie said.

“No, I didn’t go potty yet.” Then it occurred to me. I didn’t have to to go potty anymore, which could only mean one thing. I began to cry right there on the spot. I didn’t know what else to do so the tears came flooding out.

“It’s ok sweetie lots of boys your age have accidents. Come on let’s clean you up nice and dry and you will feel better.”
Next thing I knew I was back on the changing table. With my diaper off, butt wiped and tears subsiding I began to think there was no way she would think of me like the eight year old I am. Marie was grabbing for my clothes, but I noticed she only grabbed my t-shirt and put it on me, but left my other clothes on the other-side of the room with my bag. Marie quickly reached down under the changing table for what appeared to be a diaper. No, it was too thin to be a regular diaper. She lifted me off the table and said, “Step in, one foot at a time sweetie.” It was a pull up…

I realized I couldn’t argue I had no ground to stand on. Just as I was thinking this I slipped. Luckily, Marie caught me and did the old fashion “left the kid up by their underwear while pulling it on them” trick.

“Mommy, is it ok if I wear my big boy underwear since I was dry for two days in a row?” Sean said.
“Ok sweetie, but no accidents or your back to pull ups.” Marie said.

Sean didn’t seem too distraught about his “big brother” role model being in diapers while he got to wear big boy underwear. As I went over to put on my pants Marie stepped in. “Sweetie no pants for the rest of the day ok. That way if you need to go potty it will be easier to go and if you have an accident I’ll be able to tell without checking on you all the time, ok?” that last “ok” made me feel like I had a say in the matter, but with tears in my eyes still and my dignity gone I didn’t have anything left as I slowly realized I was experiencing a sensation that felt strangely familiar. I was sucking my thumb.

“It’s ok mom. I will keep an eye on him and let you know if he has an accident.” Sean said.

“Oh and baby that’s not good for your teeth. Here you go sweetie I don’t think Trever will mind.” Marie said as she pulled out my thumb and replaced it with a pacifier.

There we were back in the living room about to watch and play more power rangers, but something was very different. I was now the submissive one. Sean took charge of the game and decided all of the cool stuff we would do, while I followed without any words of dissent.

It wasn’t long before I felt a nag at my bowels and I realized I had to poop, but I didn’t know where the bathroom was. “Sean where is the potty?”

“Why, do you have to make a poopie or just pee pee?” He said.

“Poopie.” I said, while wondering why it mattered.

“MOM! we have a POOPIE EMERGENCY!” Sean yelled. Next thing I knew Marie was there in a flash. “Thanks for letting me know Sean, Your being mommy’s little helper today. Ok, sweetie let’s get you to the potty.” she said as she lifted me up and carried me done the hall with her right hand place firmly on my bottom. She parked me right in front of the toddler toilet that was sitting in the corner of the bedroom and pulled down my pull up. “Ok, now make a big poopie for mommy.” She said with nothing but love in her voice.

“Can I use the big people potty mommy?” I said, without even noticing I called Marie mommy.
“No sweetie, that’s for big kids who don’t need diapers or pull ups. This way mommy can make sure you don’t fall in the potty and I can wipe your little bottom with wipies so you don’t smear your underwear.” She said, in the nicest way those sentences could be relayed.

I sat there and began to grunt, but to no avail. A little pee came out and that was worth praise, but I just couldn’t bring myself to poop in front of her.

“It’s ok sweetie, at least you got your pee pee in the potty like a big boy.”

Back in the living room mommy declared snack time and she brought out some cheese and crackers for us to eat. Shortly after she returned with a baby bottle of a strange substance, and somehow I knew it was meant for me.

“Sweetie I brought you some prune juice to help you poopie ok.” she said as she picked me up and brought me over to the rocking chair.

“Mommy, does it have to be in a baby bottle. I don’t need one of those.” I said.

“Sweetheart, I just want to make sure you don’t spill it and that you drink it all up, because it will help you make poopies, ok?” There was that “ok” again that justified every babying action that I have experienced so far today. Before I could think of a response the bottle jammed its way past my lips. It didn’t taste very good, but I could tell after only a few minutes my stomach was feeling better. Mommy began to message my tummy as I nursed from the bottle, and I felt more relaxed then ever. I began to un-tense all my muscles and just enjoy the message and the cuddling when I realized I loosened up the wrong muscle… Poop began to flow into my pull up and with that a little pee too. It only took a few seconds before I began to bawl with tears flying in every direction.

“Did the baby make a poopie mommy?” Sean said curiously.

“Ya, baby made a poopie.” Marie said as she carried me back to the bedroom.

She laid me down and cooed at me to try and console my tears, but to no avail. She soon had my pull up ripped off by the tapes and was wiping me down with quite a few baby wipes. Next thing I knew a pacifier was tucked in between my lips and a teddy bear was placed in my arms. “It’s ok sweetie don’t cry we’ll get you all cleaned up in just second.”

After I was all clean and ready to face another pull up something else unexpected happened. One of Trever’s Pampers size 6 ended up in mommies hand and I knew this was the final step backwards. “We can try more potty training tomorrow, but for now I don’t want you to worry about pee pees or poopies. You just use your diapie, ok?” I nodded and felt a since of relief. As she began to pull one of Trever’s onsies over my head and snapped the crotch over my pamper I suddenly felt acceptance in my new role as the baby in this house. I wonder what big brother Sean is doing in the other room. Maybe if I’m lucky he’ll play power rangers with my and let me be the green ranger.

I returned to the living room with a completely different attitude. I was happy and unconcerned with my new role. I asked Sean if he wanted to play power rangers and he said that he wanted to play legos and build a castle. I agreed, even though I wasn’t in the mood. After all he was the big kid.

As we were building he showed me all of these awesome tricks on how to build cool stuff. Finally, I felt another nudge in groin letting me know it was time to go potty. I just let the stream flow and I could feel my onsie taking on more of the weight of my sagging diaper.

“Sean I want to use that piece.” I said pointing at one in his hand.

“No, this one is mine you can’t use it.” he responded.

Suddenly, helplessness overcame me and I didn’t now how to respond to this feeling. That was the perfect piece to finish my wall and there wasn’t anymore. My butt was getting itchy and tears began to form in my eyes. Then I just broke down like toddler.

“I WANT THAT PIECE!!!” I cried. He just pushed me down in response and shortly after Marie came in the room to see what the fuss was about.

“What’s going on in here?” She said.

“Baby needs his diaper changed.” Sean replied.

I was crying and sobbing so much at this point that I couldn’t seem to form a sentence to defend myself. Instinct kicked in and I stuck my thumb in my mouth and raised my other hand up to mommy making the universal sign for wanting to be held.
“Sweety, don’t fret its just a wet diaper. Remember your mommies baby for the rest of tonight so you don’t have to worry about accidents.” She said as she picked me up while making sure to stick two fingers in between the seam of diaper. “Ya, I think its bedtime for this little one. I’m sure you will feel better in the morning.”

“Hungry, mama.” I said as my tears subsided. I realized I didn’t have dinner and I didn’t want to go bed without some food.
“Don’t worry baby I will feed you after I get you ready for bed.”

Back to the changing table where I was changed into a fresh diaper. This diaper change was the best yet. Mommy tickled me the whole time and didn’t even get mad when I leaked a little pee pee on the changing pad.

“What’s for dinner mama?”

“Well sweetie I thought I would give you a taste of Trever’s favorite meal. You see mama still has milk in her boobies for baby Trever, but I’m sure he won’t mind sharing. The milk causes mommy to get sore if no one drinks it. So, you can be my Trever tonight honey, ok?” There is that ok again. It was just enough to jerk me back to reality. Was I ready to take yet another leap back. This is beyond the toddler status I’ve accepted. This is something only babies do. There wasn’t much time to think. " Just pretend it’s your paci baby." She said as she unhooked her bra and popped out her C cup breast.
She took a hold of her breast with one hand and the back of my head with another. I found myself sucking down on her teat and I was surprised by the taste of the warm liquid that came out. It actually tasted pretty good.

“That’s it sweetie drink up mama’s milk.”

That was the last thing I remember before waking up in the crib with a wet and dirty diaper on. It smelt pretty bad and I realized my body must be regressing to match my new mind set and acceptance. I knew my dad would be there to pick me up soon and I was trying to figure out a way to explain my predicament to him when mommy came in with the look of sunshine on her face. I was standing up with my hands on the rails and a load in my diaper noticeably weighing down my onsie.

“Sweetie I have great news. Your dad thinks it will be a great idea if you stay with me for the rest of the summer. Aren’t you excited Trever?”

That’s when it all came back to me; after all of this time how could I have forgotten. I am Trever. I have been scarred so deep by my family and the trust I had in them, that I had to create a fake world in my head rather than accept reality. The idea of going back to being a big boy and losing all of my securities that have been brought back into my life in the last 24 hours scared me more than accepting who I am.

“Yeth mommy I wanna be wif you all da time.”

Re: Shudder Big Brother

Any advice or criticisms would be appreciated.

Re: Shudder Big Brother

This really reminds me of something, in its tone and the idea… but not in a bad way!

It’s just a bit Sebtomato-y, which I like, but whatever it is I’m thinking, I like this story.

The only trouble I had was the end. I loved the barely-noticed (by the character himself) regression, and I thought the “realization” that he was Trevor was bang-on (really good writing there), but you lost me a bit in the sentence near the end that starts “I have been scarred so long…”; I was prepared to believe his father was absent and happy to ‘adopt him out’ to a new family, or that she was being evil and ‘stealing’ him from his own family, but not for him having been abused (was he?) by his ‘real’ family.

Anyway, other than that, I liked it, quite a lot.

Hey…. yeah! Just right now figured it out; this story reminds me a bit of the style of my fave ARarchive writer, TabulaRasa.

If you got any more, I’d love to see them!

Re: Shudder Big Brother

Thanks for the feedback!

“Sean’s Mom and Dad divorced a few years back which I think has been pretty hard on them both, but I never knew how much it affected Sean and his brother until that fun-filled sleepover.”

“I’m glad your here. I get to be a big boy again.” Sean said.

Those are two early clues that the divorce is the primary reason for Trever being scarred, and the regression his mother implies is something that has been happening for a long time. She regresses Sean while Trever is at his dad’s house. The actual twist wasn’t even built into the original draft and I only added it once I realized it was begging to be in the story once I read through it.

Re: Shudder Big Brother

Thanks for the advice!

I did mention this is my first story and I am not entirely familiar with all of the rules of story writing. So, I appreciate the help. I actually did proofread the story, but realized after I initially posted it that I missed more errors than I would have liked. Next time I will go over it multiple times.