Ok, so we have switched back over to Michelle… nice longer chapter too.
[i]I sat there in the restaurant with Paula and Daddy, feeling like I was on top of the world. Daddy seemed happy today, and I knew it was because I had done something right. I didn’t wet the bed, or my diaper.
I wasn’t so embarrassed about it anymore, in fact, it became a little comforting. I felt closer to both Paula and Daddy. Paula reminded me so much of mommy, especially when she would help me at night before bed. I didn’t want them to really know it, but I think I was beginning to enjoy it. I even started sucking my thumb again like I did when I was little.
I wiggled my bottom on the leather seat and felt the padding below. I smiled at the sensation and the way it made me feel.
Paula kept looking at me funny, but I didn’t really care.
When our breakfast arrived I got even more excited. Pancakes, with fruit for eyes and a bacon smile and scrambled eggs to make the face have hair. I don’t remember tasting much, because it was gone in a matter of seconds it seemed. Soon enough I was laying back with my tummy all puffed out and full. Paula and Daddy kept on talking about things I didn’t really know about.
When we were home, I went straight out to the sandbox. After a matter of minutes, I noticed my urge to relieve. But decided I would wait and play some more.
Paula came out and sat on the swing. I could feel her watching me so I looked over. Sure enough she was just smiling at me.
“You have such an imagination Shell, you really are in your own little world.” She giggled.
I shrugged, I liked to pretend. It was fun, and I got to get away. When I knew I couldn’t hold my bladder anymore I walked inside to the bathroom. On my way, I saw Daddy at the dining room table with his head in his hands.
“Daddy, are you ok?” I asked and walked over.
He nodded with his face still down and told me to go get Paula. So I leaned back out the door and summoned her.
I quickly made my way to the toilet where I carefully slid down my diaper and relieved myself. I could hear a bit of commotion going on outside the bathroom, so I rushed and pulled my pants back up and went out to the kitchen.
Paula was on the phone, talking frantically and loudly. “Please hurry!” She said as she slammed the phone down and ran over to Daddy. He was still sitting there with his head in his hands.
“Michelle! Go upstairs now!” She screamed.
I looked at her and said, “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”
She just looked at me with that glare and I high-tailed it up the steps. I kept the door open to listen in on the commotion.
I heard sirens blaring down the street and ran to the window where I saw an ambulance pull into the drive. I ran back to the door to listen. I could hear them asking daddy questions about breathing and his arm. Then I heard Paula coming so I made a dash for the bed.
Paula came in, “Shell, we have to go to the hospital. Daddy might be having a heart-attack.”
I didn’t understand much what that meant, but I knew it wasn’t good.
We sat in the waiting room for what seemed like days when Daddy came back out. He was in a wheelchair, but looked much better.
“Looks like they caught it in time girls. A little aspirin and some medical attention and I am ok.” He said softly.
“Just remember to take it easy Mr. Lund.” The nurse said as she wheeled him over.
When the cab dropped us off at home, Daddy said he was going to go rest for awhile. So Paula and I went into the living room to watch TV. We only had a couple channels, but we found the Flintstones.
I woke up on the couch and it was already getting dark out. The news was on and nobody else was in the room. I rolled onto my side, and sat up. I immediately noticed something wasn’t right. I reached down and felt my bottom, and sure enough, it was wet. I got up and made my way to the bedroom. I stopped at the door when I could hear Paula in there. I worked up the courage and opened the door.
“Hey Shell, you finally woke up!” Paula chirped.
I just nodded and sat in my bed. “Paula?” I said nervously.
Paula swung her head upside down and hung from her bunk looking at me with her mischevious smile. “Yeah?”
“I had an accident. I fell asleep on the couch.” I said shyly.
Paula hopped down from her bunk and giggled, “I guess it’s a good thing you had that on then.” She said pointing at my diaper.
Without missing a beat she pulled down my jeans and untaped the diaper, letting it fall to the floor with a thud.
“Better go get into the bathtub, it’s almost bedtime.” She said.
The two of us walked into the bathroom and she started the water. Daddy came in while she was doing that, “Good job girls. I didn’t even have to ask you tonight.” He said happily. “I’ll go get dinner started.”
Paula and I smiled at each other, then let out a giggle.
After my bath, we all sat down to a light supper and daddy shooed us up to bed. Tomorrow was Monday, which meant back to school. He stopped Paula to remind her to “help me into bed.” She smiled and nodded.
Paula routinely pulled a diaper from the package and laid it out onto the floor. I sat down and she would pull it up over my front and tape it all tight. I didn’t want to admit that this was becoming enjoyable for me, but I couldn’t help showing it.
Paula smiled and gave light tickles on my tummy before she pulled down my nightshirt. She tucked me into bed and tucked in Bubba beside me.
I rolled onto my side and faced the wall. When the light was off, I slowly slipped my thumb into my mouth and gripped Bubba.[/i]
I looked at Paula questioningly. “Why would you have made things worse? If anything, it would have been better. It took me a long time to learn to live again. Jackie wasn’t the most accepting of me at first.”
Paula looked down and stirred her coffee, “Im so sorry Shellz.”
[i]Over the next month, I wasn’t getting any better with my accidents. Actually I don’t think I was really trying. I came to love the newfound attention I was getting. Paula began to help me change in the mornings before school, and I would secretly wear my diapers during the weekends. Daddy never noticed, he had other things he had to do. And he slept a lot because he wasn’t feeling good.
I didn’t hide the fact that I sucked my thumb again from Paula or Daddy. They never said anything anyways.
Summer finally came and I successfully made it through the first grade. Now I had full days to do as I pleased.
After our last day, Paula and I rode home on the bus, anxiously awaiting our stop. When it finally came we ran inside and threw our backpacks on the floor and ran upstairs to get our play clothes on. Paula beat me and was out the door again before I had my shirt unbuttoned. I was pulling up my shorts when I felt the need to remove them again and slip a diaper on underneath. I checked the door and Paula was long gone. I quietly removed a diaper from the package under my bed and laid it out on the floor. It was a little more difficult to do myself, but I managed. I slipped my shorts up and took off downstairs. Paula was on the phone with Kathy, working out details for the summer. I bolted out the back door to the sandbox.
Not moments later, I felt the need to go potty and I stood up to go in. But curiousity got the best of me and I reached down and felt my padding. I relaxed and let go just a little, I stopped before too much came out. I sat back down, feeling the sensation. It wasn’t that bad. In fact, I really liked it. It was better than waking up in a cold diaper. I felt the pressure getting strong again, so I released a little more. Again, stopping it quickly and giggling quietly. I wiggled my bottom and smiled.
Paula came out the back door and came over to the sandbox. “Hey.”
I looked up at her and smiled, “Hi Paula.” I then let go, feeling the warmth spread throughout.
Paula sat down in the sandbox, “Whatcha doin?”
“Just playing.” I said, trying to hide my satisfaction.
Paula nodded and handed me a pail. “Wanna build a big castle?”
I smiled and nodded, “Yes! Let’s do it!”
“Well, first I think you should change your pants.” She said pointing at my shorts.
I looked down and noticed the wet spot on my right leg. I could feel myself blushing. “Ummm…”
She smiled and stood up, and held out her hand for me to grab.
I grabbed on and she pulled me up and we walked into the house and upstairs.
Paula grabbed a diaper and laid it out onto the floor, “Hey Shell, I have a better idea…”
I looked at her and waited for her idea.
“Let’s play house, and I am the mommy and you are my little baby.” Paula giggled.
Unsure but yet so sure, I nodded. Paula laid me down on the floor and pulled my shorts off. She untaped the diaper, “You shouldn’t do this yourself, it wasn’t tight enough.”
She lifted my legs up and slid the new diaper underneath. Lowering me back down, she smiled and said, “That’s my good baby. Mommy will get you all cleaned up.”
I could feel myself blushing again, moreso because I found myself to really like this. Paula taped up the diaper and helped me back up. She pulled off my shirt and found a sundress and slipped it over my head.
“You are such a cute little baby girl!” Paula chirped. I smiled and played along, and plopped my thumb into my mouth.
“Me wuvs my momma.” I said with my mouthful.
That day was the beginning of the new Michelle. And the new Paula.
Later that night, daddy came home from work and went right to bed, he was tired he said. Paula and I had cold meat sandwiches for dinner and went to get our baths and ready for bed. I waited anxiously for bedtime to come.
Paula came into the bedroom after her shower and put on her pajamas. “Ready for your bath baby?”
I smiled and blushed, and nodded.
After my bath she got me ready for bed, just like every other night. Only tonight, she treated me more like a baby. And that was the beginning of it. Every night after that, Paula and I had mommy/baby time.
Second grade came, and things were still uneventful for the family. Daddy was working a lot again, and Paula and I became closer. With our nightly and weekend routine, Daddy had no idea. He just figured I was still having accidents. Which actually had gotten better. Now that I felt happier I woke up dry almost 100% of the time. But nobody else found me dry. I didn’t want to give up the diapers now, so I pretended.
It wasn’t until halfway through third grade that Daddy said something. “Michelle, honey, you really need to work on this bedwetting. You are outgrowing these diapers physically and mentally. I will not be buying them anymore. Instead you will get plastic sheets and plastic pants if you have an accident.”
I stood frozen, How could he take them away? I needed them! But I wasn’t going to argue.
I told Paula what Daddy said. She shrugged, “It’s ok. We can get them at church from the nursery. But Daddy’s right. You are getting too big for them. They are too tight.”
“What am I going to do??” I complained.
“They have some at the store that are for big people Shell. But we have to get money for them.” She explained.
So that night, Paula and I talked to Daddy about getting an allowance. He agreed, as long as we agreed to a few chores. We would each get two dollars a week. We both knew that it would take some time to save up. So I would have to go easy on the last of my diapers. Which meant, I couldn’t wet, but I could still wear them.
So when Paula and I saved up our allowances, we set out to the market for a package of big people diapers. When we got them home, Paula pulled one out. It was huge, most definitely too big for me. But we made them work.
And that was the way it was up until the day Daddy died. Then it was completely turned around.[/i]
“You know, after so many years of wearing to bed, I forgot what it was like without. Jackie allowed it for a couple weeks. She said it would take a little time to reverse the damage.” I started to say.
“Yeah, the damage they blamed me for. Shell, they said I was abusive for letting you do that. That I was wrong. They made me believe that I was a terrible person. And I believed them.” Paula said with tears in her eyes.
“I don’t think it was bad at all. I liked it, I wanted it… You were just being a good sister. After a few weeks, Jackie wouldn’t allow the behavior. She would get mad if I sucked my thumb. I know I was older, but it became a habit.” I replied. “I was so lost. That’s why I came here. I wanted to know more. I bought the house, I’m going to fix it up and start a new life.”