With a bit of a shock from my overly annoying alarm clock I wake up. When I open my eyes they burn, I could totally do with a few more hours sleep. I blink franticly trying to get them used to being awake. I peek at my phone between blinks and its twenty past three. I must have slept through the alarm a bit. I rub the sleep from my eyes and turn on my bedside lamp. The light blinds me, causing me to blink even more. I think I passed the threshold of blinking to just having my eyes closed. I force them open, with great difficulty I keep them open and my eyes adjust, but they are not happy with me. I stumble around my room trying to get to the far wall so I can turn the main light on. It proves real difficult, I almost crack myself a number of times. But I make it to the far wall and get the lights on. I shuffle to the bathroom to take a piss. When I’m done I wash my hands and splash some water in my face, this does the trick and I’m fully awake now. With my new sense of coherency I realize how much pain I am in. My muscles feel like they have been replaced with white hot pokers. I hurt all over, but especially my abs. I pull up my shirt and look at them, they are flat again, with the hint of definition to suggest a six pack is on the way. This is great, now when I see Alex I wont be a flabby sack of marshmallow crap.
I make the journey back to my room, each step feels like I’ve walked a mile. I do a few stretches and my muscles settle down. I will have to try and stay a bit active at the party this morning or else I may seize up. I pick up a purple shirt from my bed, and some tight dark blue jeans. I throw them on, without much consideration and check myself in the mirror. My cloths are skin tight, you can see each quiver of my restless muscles. Quickly I spray on some deodorant and brush my hair into a structured mess. With that I’m out the door and down the stairs and out yet another door. As a society we have to many doors. I hop into my car and make a speedy getaway. I head for the address that Alex has given me. I know where the place is, as that particular housing estate has a bit of a rough reputation, so its one of the spots that people try an avoid. Everyone knows where it is, but rarely venture to.
As I’m driving along I start to feel tired, I open up the glove box and take a can of red bull out. I’m not too convinced that I should drink it. All the calories that comes with it, but I reckon that I need the sugar and caffeine boost to make it to the party. I pop open the can and take a deep swig. This starts to perk me right up. I will just have to work out a bit harder tomorrow or eat a lot less. I finish off the can just as I reach the housing estate.
It’s a new enough estate, but the houses are not selling well. The reason is two fold really. No one has money any more and the early occupants of said estate have given it a bad name. It wasn’t the best area to begin with, but now its got a bad reputations, which is a shame because the houses are fairly cool looking. They have a nice modern feel to them, which is refreshing as most of the estates in the area where built in the eighties. Which makes them seem all dank and depressing from the outside.
I drive up to the house and the place is jamming. There are people everywhere. On the lawn, in the drive way, on the side walk outside and I think I saw a few people on the roof. I put my car in reveres and park around the corner. No point parking to close, would only draw attention, and as the night progresses and people get more intoxicated it would probably end up in a brick through the window. I try to get out of the car, but it proved difficult as my muscles have locked up. These things can be so annoying. I fall out onto the curb, gracefully as a fox as always. I’m glad no one was around to see, parking around the corner is already paying off. I get up with a struggle and dust myself off. I do another few stretches, and hope my muscles stop acting like jerks.
I reach the general party area, because this thing is no longer a house party, it seems more like a block party. There are people every where. I push my way through, keeping an eye out for Alex, but she is no where to be seen at least outside anyway. I get up to the house and thankfully the door is open. As I’m technically gate crashing, it would have been awkward to ring the door bell and explain what I was doing here. Well in my mind anyway. I wander through the threshold and start searching for my elusive treasure.
Suddenly I’m tackled from behind. Who ever this is, is clearly tiny, the tackle doesn’t even phase me. In fact its kind of a weird tackle, it was really high and their hands are squeezing my nipples ever so gently. Ok I begin to realize this is a hug. I slowly turn around to face my attacker and it turns out to be Alex, and she is hammered. A smile leaps onto my face as I look into her dilated eyes. She is smiling sweetly at me. I quickly tense my stomach, so she can feel the benefits of my obsessive work out. She puts her head against my chest and continues to embrace me. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her gently. This is sheer bliss, all my insecurities and confusion wash away. I lose myself in the moment, this fleeting moment that is my torment. I have never wanted anything so bad, just to caress her, and now that I am I don’t want it to stop. I keep thinking that any second now she will pull away, and this illusion of appetence will be shattered and she will revert to the confusing siren that she became in my car earlier. These thoughts keep bouncing round my head and I cant enjoy what is happening. So much for my madness washing away.
She pulls away and my world crumbles around me. My moment of happiness destroyed, lost to me forever. I know nothing lasts forever, but I would have at least liked to enjoy that, without my insanity popping up and ruining it for me. But was it insanity? Or was it my self defence mechanism? Like I am crazy about this girl, but she can be aloof when she wants to. Was my built in instincts of self preservation just working overtime?
Instantly my thoughts go blank, and I cant think of anything other than what’s going on. In the middle of my internal soliloquy Alex wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me. Her tongue invades my mouth, probing this new found territory. My brain shuts down, while my back up brain, conveniently located in my penis, jumps into action. I meet her tongue in my mouth head on with my own slimy tongue. Our tongues tango in my mouth, tasting each other intimately. I can taste the beer and whiskey, she must be drunk. My penis brain tells me to move my hands to her bum. I’m not one hundred percent on the reasoning there, was it to see if she was wearing a nappy, or was it to feel her up. My penis brain is more complicated than ninja sudoku in its actions.
My hands start going south, but my actual brain has recovered from the initial shock of being kissed. The internal struggle begins, Brain versus Penis, winner takes all. My hands rest impatiently on the small of her back, waiting for the victor to choose the next move. It’s one of the rare occasions that my penis will not win. No matter how much I want Alex, I will not take advantage of a drunk chick. My penis conceder’s defeat, my hands jump into action. I grab her by the hips and slowly but firmly push her away.
“Your drunk Alex” I tell her disappointedly. Granted I wont take advantage of a drunk chick, the disappointment from my penis radiates around my body. I look into her eyes, she seems to be shocked at the sudden turn of events, but I think she appreciates what I did. She smiles up at me
“Your such a dork dude, but hey I am drunk, but not drunk enough. Why don’t you go get me a beer?” She half slurs half insists. I nod, knowing that I wont stay at this party long. Alex is fairly wasted, I will have to take her home soon. I’m not going to leave her here in this state. Although, I ponder, its not my concern, her friends are here to take care of her. And I don’t know if me taking her home is really the appropriate thing to do. Well I’ll stick around to keep her safe anyway, and see what her friends are up to.
As I make my way to get her a beer she shouts at me to get one for myself. I hadn’t thought much about drinking because I decided to drive. But with her urging me to have one, a whole new dilemma hits me. She wants me to have a drink, if I don’t she may think I’m lame. If I have a drink sure Alex may think I’m cool, or more probably not think any differently than she does already. But if I have a drink, I wont be able to drive, although if I drink to much I will probably try. And that will only end in tears. But more importantly, the amount of calories. If I start drinking I’m going to take in way to many calories. I will already have to do a ton of work tomorrow to burn off that red bull. No I wont drink I will tell her I’m driving when I get back. Its not worth it.
While I’m wondering around I run into the virgins for life, I was not expecting that at all. They seem to be in great humour. They wave me over to them, delighted that I decided to turn up. We start to chat, they tell me they are having a great time. Bowl cut is even drinking, I smile to myself and ask them where the beer is. They direct me to the fridge. I thank them and we talk a bit more. I was going to head straight to the fridge, but these guys seem so happy to see me, I couldn’t blow them off. They tell me how they haven’t been teased and how people even talked to them. I’m happy for them, they are starting to see themselves as people and not geeks, which is a big step for them. I hope this doesn’t change them to much. I have seen really nice people turn to shit once the call of popularity comes around.
They keep me talking for around ten minutes. While I’m happy to talk to them, I start to get paranoid that Alex will find a new fella while I’m away. I tell the boys that I have to get a drink for a lady, which is preceded by lots of girlish giggles, these guys are so innocent. I tell them I will be back in a bit and head to the kitchen.
On my way to the kitchen I over hear someone talking about roofies. I stop in my tracks and eaves drop. If roofies are going around the party I need to know to be on the look out. I hear them laughing about slipping them in people’s drinks. What scum bags I think, I contemplate roughing them up, but its not my house and I don’t want to thrash the place. I’ll just have to tell the host and get them to sort it out. There are five of them in the group and I make a mental note of the guy who seems to be the ring leader. He’s about 6 foot even. He’s got a slight frame and a straw blond mullet. And I’ll never forget his face. Beady little eyes, arrogant nose tilted up and a stupid smile that says he’s better than everyone. This ass hole is lucky I don’t twat him one.
I forget about the beer, if roofies are going around, drinking is not the best idea. I will have to warn Alex, as a girl she is a prime suspect, but so are the virgins but for different reasons. I begin to think about what would happen if Alex got slipped a roofy. I stop because it makes me so angry. I almost loose control, but figure that its not the time and I head back to the Virgin’s for life to warn them about the roofies. When I get back to them bowl cut looks to be in a state. Ohh great I think, I hope he has just drank to much. I ask trench coat how much he has had, to which the answer is one. Great those ass holes from earlier just drugged my friends. I start to shake I’m so angry, I have to take a deep breath to calm myself down. I tell trench coat that I think he has been drugged, and the colour leaves his face instantly. The poor guy looks like he is about to cry. I reassure him that things will be fine, I tell them that I have a car and will get them home. They all seem relieved as hell at this. I tell them to meet me outside, that there is a girl here that I have to warn.
I head back to Alex to get her out of here. This is slowly turning into a nightmare. I run into the jerks who slipped bowl cut the roofie, and it takes everything I have not to smack them around the place. If I wasn’t so worried about Alex I would wreck these guys but I have something more urgent to do. As I pass them I over here them talking about one of their friends slipping some girl a roofie, and about how he is going to take advantage of her. This stops me in my tracks and surely enough there is one less than the last time I saw them. Its mullet, he is no where to be seen. I barge past them and head straight for Alex.
I get back to the room I left Alex in and I see her talking to someone, she has a drink in her hand. I immediately look to the guy she is talking to. It’s mullet. I jump into action rushing over to Alex. I explain to her that she has been drugged and that we have to get out of here. Mullet is saying something to me, but I’m not paying any attention. Alex doesn’t seem to believe me at first, but the roofy takes effect and she starts to fade. I pick her up and push past mullet. He’s shouting at me now, but I have no idea what he is saying, I have a one track mind at the moment and that’s to get Alex to safety.
I meet the virgins for life outside. Mullet has met back up with is friends and they come spilling out the door after me. This time he gets my attention.
“He dick, give me back my woman!” Mullet bellows at me. This guy is going down. My bloodlust is boiling over. I have never wanted to beat someone so badly. I pass Alex to trench coat and tell him to get everyone to my car. I give him my keys, which he reluctantly takes. He starts to tell me that he wont leave that he has my back. I cut him off and tell him that I can handle it and that it’s more important to get Alex and bowl cut to safety. He seems to understand and they make a hasty exit. I turn to face mullet.
“You are in for a world of hurt buddy” I say slowly and menacingly. It doesn’t phase him, he’s prepared for my psychological onslaught. Which is good because I really want to twat this guy.
“Really am I now pal? Well there are five of me, and one of you” Mullet challenges. Granted the odds are stacked against me, I am not worried. All I need to do is distract them long enough for the virgins to get back to my car and then run for it. Although part of me wants to slap them all around, I know that would be stupid of me with the current odds.
“Well I see that, but how about just you and me big man, or have I not had enough roofies for you to handle” I challenge. I hope that the insult will dent his pride enough for him to fight me one on one.
“Ohh pal, you want me, just me? Well I suppose I can do that.” He laughs. This takes me by surprise, I did not think it would be that easy to get him to fight me on his own. Perfect.
“Just you and me” He starts “And my knife”