I found out on Thursday I had miscarried and it happened about a month ago. I was upset but was fine with it and figured I would just try again. But then it hit me real hard on Friday night and the next day when I saw a pregnant woman at work. Then the next two days were hard and I couldn’t stop crying off and on and feeling depressed and it was very hard seeing pregnant women in public. I said in the doctors office I wanted to commit suicide because that’s how depressed I am but suicide is for cowards and what good would it do if I ended my life, then my husband would have no wife and no kid and the student doctor said “And you can’t get pregnant when you’re dead.”
Then my OB doctor asked me when did I last try to commit suicide and I said “Never” and he said he thinks I’d be okay. Then after the appointment my husband told me how hard it was for me to say I wanted to commit suicide and I told him “Didn’t you hear me say suicide is for cowards?”
I never gotten my period again or even got cramps. I had no signs of a miscarriage and then my pregnancy symptoms started to fade like my breasts stopped being sore and I wasn’t as hungry and my mom said it’s normal to lose your pregnancy symptoms during your pregnancy and I read online that nausea goes away during it too but I never had that during it. My mom didn’t either and she said she maybe threw up a few times and that was it. I think I had a blighted ovum pregnancy because all I had was an empty sac but no egg. They wouldn’t have known at six weeks because they don’t always see an egg that early in pregnancies so they would not have known I had miscarried then if I did miscarry that early. Now today my body finally knows I am not pregnant because I am cramping now and starting to bleed again finally. The doctor did tell me yesterday I might start bleeding that night or the next day and he was right. I don’t know if he actually knew or it was just a guess. He did tell me it could start happening any day. I hate this cramping but I’m happy about it because my body is finally getting rid of the remains.
But I think I am feeling better now and I hope I don’t get sad again when I see another pregnant woman. I was fine when I watched a movie today where a teen had a child and decided to take her back to raise her. I didn’t get all sad like I did on Friday night when I watched two movies and women in them had a baby.