Hi there my name is Sable, i’m your average 15 year old girl with long black straight hair a pale complexion and large doe brown eyes, i say average but i’m actually much smaller than you’d expect at 5’4” and around 100 lbs. Though I’m small I’m still very much a well adjusted and responsible teenager. Well that’s what anyone who knew me in person would say but, to be honest i’m anything but. I don’t know when or why but i’ve always had a longing or fascination with diapers, that’s right diapers it’s not just diapers either stuffed animals, pacifiers, bottles, baby toys you name it if it’s infantile i’m drawn to it.
My earliest memory of my fascination was when my little sister just turned 1 and I worked up the courage to steal a diaper from her nursery and try it on. I fell in love instantly and I proceeded to wear it for a couple hours and even bring myself to pee in it, after spending probably too long in a wet diaper i changed and threw it away in my bedroom garbage. Yea, you’re probably thinking i was just begging to get caught but, I didn’t know that my Mom had to empty the garbage i thought it would just go away with my 9 year old logic. Needless to say my Mom found the wet diaper in my garbage and proceeded to yell across the house “Sable (omitted middle and last name) why on earth is there a pissed in diaper in your garbage can”! At this point i thought that if i was honest and confessed i would be in serious trouble so i just blushed and repeated that i didn’t know. My mom surprisingly just let it go at this point and didn’t mention it again to my relief.
After learning from my mistake i proceeded to steal more of my little sister’s diapers and hide the used ones in a container until mom went to work and dad was in the garage so i could bury them in my sister’s diaper pail. I continued to wear and use diapers on and off for 2 years before i was caught again. This time my mom found where i was hiding my used diapers while she was cleaning she mentioned she smelt the stale urine, however instead of being mad she seemed to be more worried, i her 11 year old daughter was wearing and using her little sisters diapers. She asked whether i was wetting the bed, being bullied at school, or i was depressed of course being me i was still scared to just come out and say my true feelings so, i sealed my lips and refused to answer her; probably making her even more worried. She reluctantly let the subject drop and started hiding my sister’s diapers instead of leaving them out in hopes i wouldn’t wear them anymore.
I did stop wearing diapers for a while after that, scared my mom would catch me again until i turned 13 and again had my head filling up again with desire, desire to wear diapers. Now that i was 13 and would occasionally be let to stay home i started getting into my little sister’s diapers again; although she was 5 years old at this point she still wore diapers full time and me being small for my age still had a substantial supply of diapers i could fit into. I was trying to give diapers up at this point though but i loved them so much so i went on the internet to try and find a solution to my problem and looked up “older girls who like to wear diapers,” through this one search i was introduced to the concept of ABDL adult baby diaper lovers. I instantly fell in love with the girls in cute clothes you would be more likely to see on a toddler than an adult and their big smiles behind their pacifiers, through my browsing and increasing interest i came to realize that i am one and the same with these people; i love diapers, stuffed animals, cute babyish clothing, everything about it i loved being “little.”
As i became older and was wearing diapers more regularly i became emboldened wearing diapers under my clothes to my grandma’s Sunday dinners, to the arcade with my friends, lying around the house when my parents were home, and sleeping in them. I even started to collect more infantile things than just diapers after my long browsing sessions on the internet i fell in love with myriads of cute pacifiers, bottles, footie jammies, and onsies all kinds of things. Being 14 i didn’t have access to a credit card and therefore couldn’t buy any of the really infantile things online but i did have an allowance, so i rode my bike to the mall and bought myself some clothes from the junior section occasionally cute sundresses, pink shortalls with cartoon characters on the bib, footie jammies, and i even got baby booties big enough for my feet. When ever i was alone at home i would dress in a diaper my cute “little” clothes and play in my little sisters room with her toys and my stuffed animals. My stealthy play sessions went on for a long time, all the way up to a week after my 15th birthday, it was a friday afternoon during the summer so no school i was in my little sister’s room around noon playing doctor and giving my stuffies a check up in a full diaper however i was really quite tired as i was up real late the night before not to mention i ate lunch just a few minutes ago and i ended up actually falling asleep on my sister’s bed. later in the day I was still wearing a wet and messy pampers size 7 diaper, my favorite pink shortalls, and my little mermaid shirt when i was shaken awake by my mom.
A lot of emotions ran through me in those few moments of waking; confusion, why am i sleeping in my little sister’s room?, excitement feeling my very full diaper cupping my bottom, dread after realizing that i’m in fact dressed as a little girl in a full diaper in front of my mom, and panic not knowing how to explain myself. I broke down crying, I don’t know what was going through my mom’s head at the time i was far too agitated to make out her thoughts from her face but what i do know is she hugged me, picked me up, carried me to my room sat on my bed with me in her arms still sobbing, and began to hum and rock me until i was calm enough to talk.
We had a long talk afteriwas calmed down, i finally told her everything how wearing diapers, sucking my thumb, dressing like a little girl, being held and cared for it all made me feel so good; so happy. I also happened to confess my (baseless) fears that she’d disown me for wanting to be little or for being gay; yea i didn’t mention earlier but i was very much attracted to girls. I just spoke out one deep secret after the other until for what to me seemed like forever, I was done i finally got everything off my chest. My mom hugged me, she then proceeded to wash all my fears away at once by simply stating “there’s nothing you could ever do that would make me hate you, no matter what i’ll always love you.”
Her acceptance and kind loving smile sent me into another crying fit i didn’t know how to process this new feeling i couldn’t describe; eventually after i calmed down again Mom lied me on my back told me to stay put and came back with my little sister’s pampers size 7, baby wipes, and baby powder. I just stayed put like I was told and let Mom proceed to change my diaper for the first time in 13 years. It was amazing such gentle caring affection directed at me and only me, I wanted to start crying again i was so overwhelmed not in a bad way this time but, in the best way. Mom finished changing me, picked me up, and carried me back into my little sister’s room she sat me down and told me and my sister to play and be good while she put dinner on. I took some time to let myself calm down before i let out the biggest most unrestrained smile i think i may have ever made and proceeded to play pretend tea party with my sister and our stuffies.
I’m turning 16 in 7 days and Mama said i can have little time all week leading up to my birthday which is a big treat for me; i usually only get to have little time on weekends that Mama doesn’t have work, any other time i want to be little I have to do it alone, which is fine honestly i’m just happy i don’t have to hide it so thoroughly anymore. I didn’t realize at the time but having to always plan ahead and sneak around really took away from the carefree safe feeling i loved so much about being little. I’ve really embraced my little side this past year Mama let my use my weekly allowance to buy cute little things online; I now openly have the biggest collection of pacis, stuffies, babas, and tons and tons of cute clothes; My Mama even buys me adult diapers that fit me so much better and they don’t leak either. I also came out publicly as gay this past school year, I lost some friends sadly but the bonds i still have are much stronger for it and i even made new ones. I decided to tell my bestest friend since kindergarten about my little side and she’s been so very supportive she even sometimes takes the lead and steps in as my mommy when i’m feeling little; i think i might have a bit of a crush on her. Honestly, i feel so great being able to be myself around my friends and family I’m so happy not having to repress and hide my true self all the time. Being me is really the greatest feeling ever.