Rats in the walls - Intro --UPDATE--

So, the next part is almost done, but, due to me typing late at night again, most of it is still in giant chunks, with the exception of dialog.

So, as I am really lazy and don’t want to have to do it manually, does anyone know of a good program that can automate this task? Like, go through and put in appropriate line breaks?

I’ll try and get the next chapter up regardless, but it might not be that legible till I get around to fixing it.

Elizabeth re-read the ad in the paper once more.

“Male and Female test subjects between 19-27 wanted for extended sleep experiments. Applicants should apply at 145 Elk Lane, Redbear, Alberta. Perks: High pay, free room and board, completely safe. Cons: Requires a 5 month contract. 7 spots avaliable, first come first serve.”

It was a ways from her home in Kalbary, but she was desperate enough to seriously consider it. Her “home” was the backseat of her Ford Temple, parked in an alley near downtown. She was making just enough money through her temp work to get her food, but with the sudden housing shortage, she didn’t make nearly enough to afford a room somewhere, let alone a house. A job with free room and board, as well as high pay and a 5 month contract? It sounded almost too good to be true.

Elizabeth set down her paper and finished the last sip of coffee in the paper cup. Crumpling it in her hand, she dropped it out of the door as she opened it and stepped out. She shut and locked the door, not that anyone would steal the rust bucket. It was a short 10 minute walk into the downtown core, and a 5 minute train ride put her right where she wanted to be. She took one last look around at all the skyscrapers before stepping into the giant one before her.


The day was long, and being a office temp wasn’t the most fulfilling job in the world. Elizabeth’s 10 minute morning walk dragged out to a 20 minute walk as she slowly shuffled down the street in her slightly too small heels.

“I’m tired of this shit!” She said as she finally sank into the drivers seat. She spied the ad in the paper.

“But what if they already have all the people they need? What if I’m not what they are looking for? I might have enough for gas to get out there, but I doubt I have enough for a round trip…” She mused aloud.

Just then a quiet beep sounded from behind her. Elizabeth snaked her arm around behind her and grabbed the cell phone from her purse.

“Hi, is this Elizabeth Rio, owner of a grey Form Temple, serial plate T7K-6T4?”
“Yes, who is asking?”
“I’m the guy who’s house your parked behind. Move your car, the cops are on their way to arrest you if your still here in… oh, I’d say they are about 5 minutes away.”
“Fuck you.” She said calmly before she slammed the phone shut and tossed it to the back seat.
“And Fuck you Kalbary, I don’t need this shit.” And with that, she started her car and dug out her road map from the glove box.

It was just getting dark when Elizabeth pulled over to the side of the small neighborhood street. She checked the ad again, then the house numbers till she found it. 145 was a small, white bungalow with big windows in the front. The blinds were closed, but she could see light behind them. Mustering her courage, she turned off her car and took a deep breath to steady herself.

Before she could second guess herself, she willed her body to move and exited the car. She found it easier once she was walking towards the house, and as she bounded up the three concrete steps, she was all smiles. She gave the doorbell a ring, and listened for movement. She heard a voice say a single word, too low for her to hear, then footsteps approaching the door. The lock clicked back, and Elizabeth took a small step back as the door began to open.

Standing inside the doorway was the strangest looking man that she had ever seen. Thin, medium length white hair was sticking straight up from most of his head, giving him a very sparse afro. His eyebrows and chin seemed to be making up for the lack of hair on his head, as hair seemed to grow in abundance their. His deep set eyes gave his eyes a deep shadow, below which a prominent nose sat. He was dressed in grey sweatpants and a black tea shirt, and over both a long white lab coat. Tall and skinny, he loomed over Elizabeth. He stuck his head out the door and peered down on her.

“And who, are, you?” He spoke strangely, like he was trying to remember each individual word.
“My name is Elizabeth Rio, you had an add in the Kalbary Hun newspaper?” His eyes glazed over momentarily, then snapped back to focus, bringing with them a smile to his face.

“Ah, I see, I see. Well, please. Come in.” He said as he backed out of the doorway and into his house. Elizabeth experienced a sudden shiver, but chalked it up to nerves about the job.

The house was sparsely furnished, the living room consisted of a single couch and a small TV. The man lead her through the living room and into the kitchen.

“Before we start the interview, is there anything you require?” His speech seemed to get smoother the more he spoke.

“Yes, I just had a long car ride, could I use your bathroom?” He nodded.

“It’s back through the living room, first door on your left.” He said, pointing off towards the other side of the house. Elizabeth turned and walked back through the nearly empty room and down the hallway. There were four doors down it, one a closet and three others at the end of the hallway. She took the first door on the left, as instructed, and stopped as she opened the door. Her first thought was that she had somehow got the wrong room, but on a second glance, the odd machinery in the washroom looked somewhat reminiscent of a toilet and sink, except the toilet was a giant metal monstrosity that took up half the bathroom, and the sink was suspended from the ceiling with no visible connections except for the single chain running from the center of the bowl to the roof and a single spout in the side. She shut the door and examined the toilet. There was a simple paper sign tacked below a large handle. The sign read “Flush first.” Elizabeth peered down into the large metal basin and noticed the lack of water. With a shrug, she pulled the handle.

With a loud WHOOSH the bottom of the basin vanished and two long metal snakes sprung out of the hole. At least that’s what Elizabeth thought they were, as a second after appearing, both snakes opened their “mouths” and out popped two white gloved hands. The hands gave themselves a shake, then dived at Elizabeth. She turned to run to the door, but had only taken a single step when the first hand hit her. She felt it ram into the back of her knee, and her leg crumpled, dragging her to the ground. She felt the second hand grab her opposite shoulder, and with a head spinning wrench, Elizabeth was lifted from the ground. She had a quick view of the monstrous toilet looming before her, when the hands turned her around and upside down. The hand on her shoulder let go, and move up to grab her foot. The first hand moved to her opposite foot, and the two gently guided her into the metal basin. Elizabeth tried to bend herself up to avoid being dropped down the hole, but a third hand sped out and grabbed her by the back of the neck, forcing her straight and dragging her into the hole.

She was led a short distance when she was suddenly dropped, and and began to slide. The smooth metal beneath her sped her down, and the chute narrowed in so that she couldn’t turn around and was stuck going down head first. She managed to roll over onto her belly when she saw something hanging from the ceiling in front of her. In the dim light she wasn’t able to clearly see what it was till it was just about above her. It looked like a security camera, but as she passed beneath it, a brilliant red light shot out and Elizabeth snapped her eyes shut, but not before the bright light temporary blinded her.

A few seconds after the light blinded her, a cold blast of air was shot at her, and to her surprise and dismay, took her clothes off her. They spun off in millions of small pieces. A second loud WHOOSH and she saw the pieces of her clothes sucked into something. The slide was getting steeper now, and she was just about falling vertically, still gaining speed. As she went deeper and deeper, there were less and less lights, till eventually she was falling in total darkness. Elizabeth had been too shocked to scream before, but now that things were letting her catch up, it started to sink in. She had just opened her mouth to let out a loud scream when she hit something. It wrapped around her, like a giant sock. It trailed off past her feet, and with her head first in the bag, she began to really freak out. She opened her mouth once again to let out a scream when something caught the bag.

Elizabeth continued to shoot forward and into the bag. It stretched with her, and she felt the slide dissappear from around her. She sunk down slowly, till she felt something beneath her. As soon as her weight settled, the thing rose up around her like a flower petal closing and snipped the bag. It fell down around Elizabeth, and a dim red glow surrounded her. She was sitting inside of a cushioned egg. It was just large enough for her to sit cross legged inside of it. She had just assumed said position when the egg began to rock, and fell over onto it’s side. A moment later, Elizabeth heard something attach itself to the egg. She had just began to wonder what would happen next when she was hurled against the bottom of the egg as it was lifted and shot into the air.

The sudden burst of speed had shook her up, but Elizabeth soon regained her senses. She was still plastered to the bottom of the egg, and she could hear the air outside whistling. It was getting warmer and warmer inside the egg, to the point where Elizabeth was beginning to get sick from the heat. All of a sudden the whistling was gone, the heat dissipated and Elizabeth felt the force holding her to the egg release. She sat up, and with a start noticed that she was now floating in the egg. With a gasp she realized that she must have been shot into space, and was now floating in the void.

This was all too much for Elizabeth and she began to cry. Deep, racking sobs issued from her for a good ten minutes before they finally turned into small hiccups.
“What the hell is going on?” She said aloud.
“You are currently in transit to The Ship Of The Mighty Mass.” A voice spoke from around her. Instantly the tears stopped.
“To where?”
“The Ship Of The Mighty Mass, located 21.5 lightyears from celestial body 8874299114, Terran name Mars.”
“Holy shit. Why am I going to… the ship near Mars?”
“You have enlisted yourself in man kinds biggest test. Details will be given once you have been collected.” There was a short beep, and the dim red light around her faded. Elizabeth was once again stuck in darkness.

Whew, that was a lot of writing. Started writing this at 2AM a few nights ago, wrapped it up last night around the same time. I plan to update frequently, but I make no promises that it will be continued. I have a bad habit of writing intros and never expanding upon them.

Rats in the walls - Intro --UPDATE–

wow if this is anything to go on it’s gonna turn into a pretty amazing sci-fi story … keep writing i can’t wait for more

Great Start

I love these types of stories. Please, please keep it up.

Rats in the walls - Intro --UPDATE–

Please continue this story!!!

I can see a lot of potential with this.

I love science fiction, and this story has certainly had a wonderful start.

Rats in the walls - Intro --UPDATE–

I agree i love the beginning I can’t wait to see where this is going to go

Rats in the walls - Intro --UPDATE–

Updated first post.

Rats in the walls - Intro --UPDATE–


This is an interesting introduction and I can’t wait to see where it goes.
There is a potential for a great storu here and you have a talent for writing even if it is not formatted you are still good.

Rats in the walls - Intro --UPDATE–

just had a re-read did anyone spot that mars is further away than our closest nabouring stars for anyone who wants to know earth is 8 minutes from the surface of the sun at the speed of light and mars is about 12 minutes from the surface of the sun at the speed of light and the sun is no more than a light minute and a half across so even if it was opposite sides of the orbiting plain it wouldnt take more than 30 minutes for light from earth (when bouncing of a optimumly placed mirror) to travel over/arround the sun and hit mars and as the crow flies (so to speak) mars can never be more than 21.5 lightminutes (2.625 AU) away from us let alone 21.5 light years away from the sun
that is ofcause assuming that celestial body 8874299114 is the designation of an alien race for our sun (usually refered to in science fiction as Solar for reasons unknown to me and often given the designation 1), since there are no stars visable with the naked eye with more than a 6 digit (usually both letters and numbers) designation - meaning that the designation, is an earth designation, cirtainly isn’t in visable range and therefore not one of our closest nabours which is how i came to my assumption

Rats in the walls - Intro --UPDATE–

… What?

Rats in the walls - Intro --UPDATE–

… What?[/quote] explain that??? lol

i was just mentioning the line from the end of the story

and the scientific error lightyears is incorrect (as explained) and celestial body 8874299114 must be alien (posibly not from our galaxy due to such a high number) designation for the sun

Rats in the walls - Intro --UPDATE–

Allright, I’ll be honest. I didin’t actually read your first post. Know why? It’s impossible to read. I actually sat down and forced myself to read it just now.

Still very, very confused, I attempted to re-write it “cleaner”, in the hopes of being able to understand what you are trying to tell me. I got even more confused, and said fuck it to the whole thing.

earth is 8 minutes from the surface of the sun and mars is about 12 minutes from the surface of the sun


(P.S. These are ALIENS. They don’t have to work by your rules. 8874299114 is Mars, deal with it.)


Oh, wait, I see where the confusion is. 8874299114 IS Mars. Mars is the Terran (Human, earth is called Terra Firma for a reason.) name for 8874299114. So the ship is 21.5 Light years away from Mars.

Rats in the walls - Intro --UPDATE–

oh i didn’t see that i had missed out the at the speed of light bit ………. my bad and the ship is X distance from mars…… that makes some sence other than if it were that far the sun would be a better mesuring position…… maybe i’m just confused ignore me …. or not your choice

Rats in the walls - Intro --UPDATE–

you know this is one of the best and exciting story beginnings i have read in a while i really wish Hexxus would continue it