So, my fiancee and Iand just got back from her doctor’s. We are going to welcome a child into this world sometime in July.
On one hand, I’m uber happy and excited, of course. On the other, I’m scared out of my skull. Will I be a good parent? Will I even come close to being the kind of father my own Dad was, and is, to me? I can only hope I wind up being just half the Dad he is.
If any parents out there can give me any kind of prenatal advice, I’m all ears lol. And I’ll gladly accept any and all prayers sent our way.
The first step to being a good parent is being scared shitless about whether you’ll be a good parent. If you’re always saying to yourself “Did I do a good job, can I improve it and if so how” then you’re making the effort to better yourself for the betterment of your child.
That’s a philosophy that my mother, grandmother and aunt believe. And aside from my brother, we all turned out pretty alright I think.
As a parent with two kids, one 3 and the other 15 months now I can promise you it’s alot of stress. I didn’t have my father with me growing up, so being a good father was most important to me. Can you stress over that, sure…but I wouldn’t. Don’t try to be like someone else, and don’t let everyone else, to include your own parents preach to you, or tell you how to raise your child.
Take care of your fiancee/wife when she’s prego…she’s going to need it. Expecially later in the pregnancy. Be very prepared for mood swings, or just a complete change in her. Both pregnancies for my wife were different. With our first son, she wanted spicy food and was always wanting to go…go shopping, goto the bathroom…you name it. With our second, she became the evil person we do not talk about! Our second son was taking up alot more room then our first, and she put on about 60+ lbs with him so it made a huge impact on her ability to function as he was eatting up all her resources.
Your kids though…are very forgiving of you. Just give them the love you want them to have. Be preapred for alot of sleepless nights early on as all of this is so new to them. Every little thing they do…is a new sensation, a new feeling, a new smell. They can get over stimulated easily and that upsets them. Newborns don’t need much. They need food, clothes, fresh diapers and lots of love. No doubt they will cry and cry and you will have no idea why. With time that passes. They become less fragile and when you can come home and see their eyes light up when they know daddy is home, your heart will melt. Every little thing they do, simple stuff like smiles, teeth, coos and awws will all be a really big deal to you. Just honestly…don’t get caught up in all the what if’s! Just be the parent you want to be…If you have issues with anger…now is the time to really control those, and if not…understand that no matter how upset you get at that kid, it’s not there fault and there is nothing they can do about it. So hitting them or throwing them, or spanking them isn’t going to help the matter…and if it does…it probably means you just killed the baby!
You are more then welcome to PM me, or email me at anull@gci.net and I will talk with you about anything you want to know. What books to get (What to expect when your expecting), what carseats you need to know about, and anything else. We’ve done both disposable and cloth diapers (again, not the pins and plastic pants type but an all in one type that’s as easy to use as disposables) Hell, it’s what I wear now so I can vouch for there comfort and usefulness!
Hopefully this was at least some help…but yea…you’ve got alot ahead of you and so does your future wife. It really will help you to have someone to talk to about all of this, and what all is going on. Otherwise…you can become overwhelmed and then you will be the one crying and sucking your thumb.
My fiancee had her 18 week checkup today, and I thought I’d share with you all the first official photo of our baby.
If you’re like me, and can’t tell….it’s a girl!!! (My fiancee has tried to show me all night, but I still don’t see it…I’ll take her word and the sonogram ladies word for it though lol) We’ve decided already on the name Logan Reneè, after our Moms. Imagine the fun I’ll have decorating her nursery in a few weeks!! Once the cast is off my leg and I can start using it again that is…GOD I can’t wait for that. I love all things pink and pastel anyway, so decorating the room is going to be a ball!
As for moodiness, my girl hasn’t been real bitchy about the pregnancy. Though she did develop a taste for tomatoes, something she never really liked before. That, in and of itself isn’t odd, it’s her method of eating them. She eats them very much like an apple. She pulls the stem off, and chomps into it. That, my friends, is odd. At least she isn’t like my sister, who, when pregnant with my niece, ate cucumbers with peanut butter slathered on them. If that’s not good for a yuck, nothing is
Celery is amazing with peanut butter and in Thai cookery you often have peanut and cucumber mixed, but I can’t say that I’ll be racing to give it a try.
Prenatal advice…have your wife eat a healthy balanced diet, don’t smoke, drink or do drugs, play mozart in the house (supposed to make babies smarter). Continue to keep the mom happy, and keep reminding her that you love her for who she is, not just because she’s the mom of your child
Parental advice wise… well just do everything for your kid out of love and you should be fine. Most parents seem to know what to do when the time comes.
Oh cool. I’ve read exercising is very important for the baby. My mother also told me drink plenty of water when you’re pregnant (I don’t mean you, I mean women in general).
We don’t smoke, so that’s covered. Nor do we drink…well, not much. Socially, I guess they call it. Like, during the Super Bowl, I actually had a couple of beers. If we go out to dinner with friends, I’ll have a glass of wine or whatever, but on the whole, we don’t drink…and she definitely isn’t drinking now. The Mozart thing we’d heard of, and are going to try, to my dismay. I’m a Country guy, you know? Classical might warp me some lol.
As for keeping her happy, I do that anyway. I love her with my whole heart. And besides, I like my couch, I really do…but I don’t feel like calling it my bed, you know? And besides that, she’d beat my ass so bad….no, I treat her like the Queen she is.
See, me, I enjoy the sound of a steel guitar lol…I want to get my Logan started on a steady diet of Alan Jackson and George Strait as young as I can, you know? Maybe some Lonestar and Toby Keith. Some Martina McBride, Leann Womack and Jamie O’Neal for representation from the female side of the aisle. Oh, and for classics sake, I gotta get her hooked on the Man in Black as early as I can, Mr. Johnny Cash.
Of course, my fiancee rags on me about my ‘hillbilly’ music, but meh, it’s not all ‘my baby left me, oh boo hoo’, you know? It’s not ‘what do you get when you play country backwards? Your car back, your wife back, your dog back, blah blah blah’ lol. It can be uplifting too. I know one CD Logan will be getting a HEAVY dose of, both prenatal and post birth, is Collin Raye’s ‘Counting Sheep’.
