Nocturnal Emotions (Completed 8/24/11)

I’m back to writing, and I bring a new story I’ve been tinkering with. I’m trying to do a serious character driven story, just to see how I do with it. For those out there that are wanting to fap, this story probably isn’t gonna do it for you, sorry. For the rest of you, enjoy! This story is rated PG for some naughty words.


Nocturnal Emotions
By: Dementia’s Knight

I: Listless

I don’t sleep.

Well, that isn’t entirely accurate. I do sleep, it’s just that the times I do sleep aren’t very long and in some cases are days apart. Why should this be of any concern to you? You know, I don’t really know the answer to that question. What I do know is that my therapist thinks I should share things, experiences and whatnot, and that’s what I’m going to do. If you want to listen, then that’s all the better.

My name is Samuel James Roosevelt. I’m twenty-six years old; I live in a shitty apartment in a shittier neighborhood that’s smack dab in the middle of an armpit of a town in Southern California. I’m the store manager of an office supply store, and I regularly get the urge to bash my own skull in with a three hole punch whenever one of my teenage underlings decides to utter something with more than two syllables to me. Contrary to what you may be thinking after reading that last sentence, I am in no way a violent person, to myself or others. It just seems to me that the public school system has gone severely downhill since I was in attendance there, but I digress.

Where was I? Oh, as a store manager, my position affords me a lot of “downtime”. That is to say I have extended periods of time where I don’t really do a whole hell of a lot besides sit in my office and make impressively long chains of paperclips or replay levels of Angry Birds on my phone. On the occasion that I do have to fulfill a managerial duty, I put on the old razzle dazzle and bullshit my way through it.

This cycle is not satisfying to me anymore. I started out a very ambitious and eager employee, desperate to shake off the shackles of youth and the fresh memories of graduating high school and prove myself to be a proud and reliable member of the workforce. I got promoted to Department Supervisor after only eight months; I made Assistant Manager three years after that, and I was put in charge of my own store three years after that. Perhaps it was the rocketing up the corporate ladder that put me into this apathetic funk, or maybe it’s just an inevitability that the constant exposure to fluorescent will eventually crush the human spirit. Whatever the cause, I know the cure; it’s just a matter of summoning the courage to go through with it.

A perfect opportunity finally presented itself when my boss dropped in for one of his monthly visits. I walked the store with him lost in my own thoughts, completely ignoring everything he was saying to me. I was trying to come up with some kind of point in the discussion where I could interject my departing words, when I heard the perfect set up.

“So, where do you see yourself in the next five years?” my boss asked.

I felt a smile creep across my lips, no matter how hard I fought against it. I looked him straight in the eyes and unloaded the two little words that had been haranguing for the last two weeks. “I quit.” I said, my voice strong and confident.

My boss’s smile faded. “Excuse me?” he asked in disbelief.

My smile grew. “I said, ‘I quit’.” I repeated as I removed my key ring from my belt loop and dropped them into his hands. “Just mail me my last check.” I said as I turned and walked away.

I didn’t look back as I walked to the exit, even though my boss was shouting after me. I made it through the doors and into the parking lot, my smile still plastered across my face. As I opened my car and got in, I felt like for the first time in a long while that everything was going to be alright.

Despite the alleviation of the burden of being in a hated job, my life didn’t improve. I continued to not be able to sleep, opting instead to lie on my couch and watch infomercials for products I knew I’d never buy, but felt compelled to devote my time to anyway. I found myself staring at my computer screen for no real reason, watching videos of animals being cute or idiots injuring themselves without even cracking a smile. I began to wonder if this was how my life would end, if the police would find me propped up on the couch, my mummified body bathed in the glow of a video of a cat playing peek-a-boo as it continued its infinite loop.

It was the fear of that fate that drove me to get dressed and leave my house for the first time in days. I soon discovered after driving around aimlessly for over an hour that three in the morning doesn’t exactly hold the bounty of activities that daytime does. It was after this realization that I found myself pulling into the neon illuminated parking lot of my local twenty-four hour Super Target.

And that’s how this story begins.

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapters 1-6 Posted 7/15/11)

II. Chance Encounter

Wandering a humongous store in the middle of the night is actually pretty soothing. I’m not sure why that is, what I do know is that once I entered the store I instantly felt more relaxed. The floor held my attention as I meandered through the store, somehow managing to avoid running into the workers that were stocking the shelves.

By the time I looked up from the floor I found myself deep in the forest that was the toy department. The bright colors and smiling characters were a far cry from the brown subdued linoleum I’d been entranced by for the last hour or so, the stark contrast served to break me from my calm and push me back to despondence. I decided to pack things up and head back home, worried that somehow I was missing something better there.

As I neared the end of the aisle I heard the tinny music of a child’s toy and a feminine giggle on the aisle next to me. The sound gave me pause. I halted my progress, I don’t know why. Maybe it was the fact that the entire time I’d been in the store the only people I’d seen were those that worked there, or maybe it was just that I was looking for something to take my mind off of not sleeping. Whatever the reason was, I turned around and peeked around the end of the aisle.

If you’ve ever gone without sleep for any extended period of time, you know that sometimes reality blurs a bit and you may see or hear something that you aren’t entirely sure is real. The key to finding out if what you’re experiencing is real or not is as simple as asking yourself if you would imagine what you’re seeing. I had to do this when I looked around the end of the aisle and saw the young woman sitting Indian style on the floor playing with a brightly colored plastic toy.

From what I could see given my vantage point, the woman was wearing pink corduroy overalls and white tennis shoes. Her back was to me, but I could see that her black hair was secured into pigtails by fuzzy pink bands. I watched her for a moment and then pulled back behind the end of the aisle. I struggled to wrap my mind around what I’d just seen, maybe I’d just spotted some escaped mental patient and should be calling the police instead of standing in the middle of the store dumbfounded.

I turned around and headed back up the aisle I’d come down, deciding that I’d see what the woman’s face looked like in case I needed to describe her. I came to the end of the aisle and craned my neck around the corner and saw her still sitting there playing. I was taken aback by her beauty, and found myself entranced by the sight of her.

She was looking down at the toy in her hands, a wide smile on her face. Her skin was the most beautiful caramel color, her features were delicate and almost doll like. Her face looked like that of an angel. From what I could tell, she seemed to be Indian in her ethnicity, but I couldn’t be entirely sure. She giggled again after the toy in her hands made another noise and began to shake, and I found the sound to be one of the sweetest things I’d ever heard, it was a mix of femininity and juvenile happiness that combined in a way that was astoundingly pleasant.

I pulled myself back once again and attempted to process what I’d seen. When I heard movement from her aisle I hurried to the aisle I’d come down and pretended to look at a box of Lego’s. I strained my vision to the corners of my eyes to see if I could spot the woman in my peripheral vision, afraid that she would be standing there waiting to berate me for staring at her. I finally set the box down and looked out to the main aisle of the store to see her walk past, obviously unaware that I’d been watching her. I breathed a sigh of relief and decided that I needed to go home and digest the whole event I’d witnessed.

“Hi.” A small voice said behind me as I turned to leave.

I think I may have jumped, I can’t really be sure, but my mind felt like I’d just heard a shotgun blast not a foot away. I spun quickly to see my aisle neighbor standing there with her hands behind her back. With her now standing in front of me I could see that she was just a slip of a thing, no more than five and a half feet tall and skinny as a rail.

I stared at her dumbly for a moment, my mind not working at its usual speed given my sleep deprivation. I finally managed to produce a simple ‘Hi’ and some sort of smile.

She giggled her giggle again and covered her mouth like she’d just heard a hilarious secret. Then she looked at me, her beautiful brown eyes shimmering under the lights of the store, “Whatchya doin’ over here?” she asked, her voice carrying the same mix of child and adult that her giggle did.

I wracked my brain to try and come up with some sort of clever lie. “I was looking for a present for my nephew.” I said, proud that my mind had finally chugged to life and given me what I needed.

“How old is he?” she asked.

“Eight.” I lied. I was beginning to wonder if this girl could see through my lies and was just toying with me until she finally called me on it.

She nodded. “Lego’s are a good toy then.” She said finally after some internal deliberation.

“What?” I asked, forgetting entirely that I had been pretending to look at the box of Lego’s before I’d been caught.

She walked over to the shelf behind me and pulled the box I’d been holding off of it and handed it to me. “He’ll like this.” She explained with a smile.

My nose was filled with a soft and sweet smell as she got closer to me, it was a scent I knew I’d smelled before, but couldn’t place it at the moment. “Thanks.” I said with a smile as I watched her step back to her prior position. “Umm, my name is Sam.” I fumbled.

She smiled and nodded. “Nice to meet you Sam, I have to go now.” She said before hurrying off.

As soon as she was gone I breathed a sigh of relief and put the box of Lego’s back on the shelf, I turned to leave and suddenly realized that I hadn’t gotten her name. I shot to the end of the aisle and looked around for her, but saw only the random worker. “Shit.” I muttered as I made my way dejectedly to the exit.

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapters 1-6 Posted 7/15/11)

III. Therapy

I see a therapist. I don’t see her for any specific reason, mainly just to have someone to talk to and act as a sounding board for ideas that I have or feelings that arise. So, it seemed very appropriate that after the event at Target I see my therapist and get her take on things. I had managed to get a few hours of sleep the day before, so I felt that I could properly articulate myself as I shared my tale with her.

“…and by the time I realized I hadn’t gotten her name, she was gone.” I said, concluding my tale.

Madeline lowered her notepad. “So you were attracted to this girl and you regret not finding out more about her?” she asked.

I nodded. “I have no idea how long I was watching her, but it somehow didn’t seem long enough. Like I could have spent all day just staring at her, and it wouldn’t have been enough.” I explained.

“And you said that she was dressed like a little girl? How did that make you feel?” She asked.

I shrugged. “I mean at first it was a little weird, but she looked really cute. Also, she was obviously over eighteen, so I don’t really think it’s a big deal.” I explained.

“Let’s switch gears a bit and talk about work.” She said.

I grimaced. “I quit.” I told her.

Madeline looked surprised. “When was that?” she asked.

I thought for a moment, calculating in my head how long it had been. “About two weeks ago.” I answered finally.

“And how has it been being unemployed?” she asked.

“Well, I got my last check the other day, it had my vacation and sick time on it too, and that killed some bills. I cashed out my stock and 401k, and once I get that money I should be fine for a while.” I explained.

Madeline jotted something down on her notepad. “So you don’t plan on getting another job?” she asked.

I shook my head. “For the foreseeable future I’m just going to relax.” I said. “Maybe I’ll try and run into that girl again and get her name.” I added.

“You plan to stalk this girl?” she asked, half joking.

“Stalk is such an ugly word. I prefer to think of it as pursuing.” I clarified.

“Well, keep it legal and hopefully you’ll have more news when I see you next.” She said with a smile.

By the time I got home I had come up with several scenarios in my mind with how I would act if I saw the girl from Target again, none of them were overly good, but I’d make one of them work. The rest of the day passed by, and at three in the morning I got dressed and headed back to Target.

Like a kid I made a beeline to the toy department and began going aisle by aisle checking for the girl. I reached the last aisle and felt my hopes dash away when I found it empty like all the others. With a sigh I turned to leave when I looked up and spied her at the other end of the store walking toward the toy department. I struggled to think of what I should do, should I stay where I was and try to pretend like I was surprised to see her? Should I run and hide until she settled somewhere and then go talk to her? With time running out I hurriedly ducked down an aisle and waited.

I watched from my hiding spot as she walked down the main aisle of the store and turn to head down the same toy aisle I’d seen her on the other day. Today she wore a purple variation of the pink number I’d seen her in, and she looked just as sweet and beautiful. She eventually took a seat near the middle of the aisle and started playing with another toy, I watched for a moment and started to feel anxious about going over to her. I played out the scene in my head over and over again and felt my confidence begin to fade. I stayed hidden and watched her play for a few minutes and then turned and headed home.

“I saw her again the other night,” I started to explain to Madeline. “I watched her go to the same aisle and start playing, but I couldn’t approach her.” I said.

“Why do you think that is?” she asked.

I shook my head as I tried to come up with an answer. “I don’t know. Maybe I didn’t want her to think I was some creep that was following her or something. Or, maybe she seemed to be doing her thing and I didn’t want to interrupt her.” I offered. “Whatever the reason, I don’t think I’ll be going back there again.” I said with a sigh.

“Sam, how did you feel when you quit your job?” she asked.

I smiled. “I felt pretty great.” I said.

Madeline nodded. “And why did you feel great?” she asked.

“Because that place was awful, it was sucking my will to live and leaving it made me feel like a weight had been lifted off my chest.” I explained.

“So, it felt great to do something for yourself that positively impacted your life. Maybe talking to this girl is another chance to do just that. Perhaps getting to know a new person that you find attractive is just what you need, or maybe it’s just what you’re missing.” She offered. “In any event, I think that what you should do is go to that store, have a seat on that aisle, and meet her on her turf.” She added.

I thought for a moment about it. “So, I should sit there and play with her to get her to feel comfortable enough to talk to me?” I asked.

Madeline nodded. “This girl seems to have some sort of regressed personality, at least that’s what it sounds like based on your descriptions. She may never feel comfortable talking to you intimately if she sees you as an “adult”, but if you meet her at her level, she may open up to you.” She explained. “She may not, but at least you tried.” She added with a smile.

“Alright, I’ll try your way.” I said. “But, if she freaks out and runs away on me, I want my money back for this session.” I added with a smirk.

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapters 1-6 Posted 7/15/11)

IV. Baby Steps

Linoleum is hard. I mean, it has to be hard because it’s a floor, but it’s very uncomfortable to sit on. Honestly, next time you’re out at a store have a seat on the floor for a few minutes and tell me that your ass isn’t screaming at you for a softer surface.

I sat on her aisle and fiddled with a toy while I waited for her. I was so anxious that I left the house a full hour earlier than the other times, so I got to sit for even longer on the unforgiving floor while I waited. The funny part is that I noticed how small I felt sitting there. Looking up at the shelves as they towered above me was like looking up at a skyscraper.

I struggled to understand what she could possibly find entertaining about the toys she played with. I pushed buttons and lights would flash and music and sounds would play, but it was all very boring to me, I started to wonder if that was a sign that even if she stayed to talk we would have anything in common. Maybe she was so stunted in her emotional development that adult conversation was off the table entirely. I thought these things and began to doubt that this scheme would work.

“Hi.” A familiar little voice greeted behind me.

I turned to look behind me and saw her standing at the end of the aisle with her hands behind her back again, as if she were hiding some kind of present behind her back and she didn’t want the surprise to be ruined.

“Hi.” I said, my voice as full of surprise as it was happiness.

She didn’t move from her spot, she just stood there watching me. I felt like she was sizing me up, trying to determine if I was a threat to her or not. She gave no indication that she would be coming over to sit with me, and I began to get worried that she’d run away like a spooked deer again.

“Do you want to sit down and, umm, play with me?” I asked, struggling to come up with an acceptable way to offer her to come over.

She stood there for a second, clearly trying to decide whether or not I was a danger to her, and then she began to walk over to me slowly, each step very calculated and methodical. When she got as close as she wanted to she took a seat and shifted herself so she was comfortable and then she reached for a toy to play with. “You like to play?” she asked without taking her eyes off the toy in her hand.

I hesitated. “Not really, but I thought maybe if I was playing you might talk to me some more.” I answered, hoping that honesty wouldn’t bite me in the ass.

She continued to play with her toy, focusing intently on it as if it were the one reaching out to her. “Oh.” She said. “What do you wanna talk about.” She asked after a moment.

I struggled to keep from squealing with joy. “What’s your name?” I asked.

“Skye.” She said simply, turning the toy in her hands over and pressing the buttons on the other side.

I smiled and picked up my own toy. “That’s a pretty name.” I told her. I stole periodic glances at her while we both interacted with our toys. Her overalls today were a soft blue, and the fuzzy rings securing her pigtails matched. On the bib of her overalls was an iron on patch of Winnie the Pooh dangling from a bunch of red balloons.

“Thank you.” She said, a small smile creeping across her lips causing sweet little dimples that I hadn’t noticed before to form.

“You’re very welcome. I like your outfit, it’s very cute.” I told her.

She blushed slightly at the mention of her outfit. She looked down at what she was wearing as if she needed to refresh her memory about what she’d dressed herself in before leaving the house. “Thank you.” She said, much more quiet than the last time.

“You’re welcome, again.” I told her. “How many different colors of overalls do you have?” I asked, wondering if she had a whole rainbows worth of colored overalls taking up a dresser at home.

She shrugged. “I dunno, ten maybe.” She said. “You ask a lot of questions.” She added.

“I’m sorry, I won’t ask any more questions if it bothers you.” I said, trying to feverishly back peddle before she decided to leave. “I just wanted to get to know you .” I added.

Skye set her toy down and looked up at me. “Why?” she asked.

I suddenly felt awful for being there and cornering this girl. When she looked at me the sweet little girl disappeared and a flash of adult annoyance showed itself. I began to wish I’d just let her be so she could play happily. “I just think you’re cute. Actually, I think you’re beautiful.” I said. “Since the first day I saw you, I’ve been obsessed with just talking to you, just knowing your name is like the most perfect thing in the world to me right now.” I confessed. I kept my eyes downcast, afraid that if I looked at her I’d see something other than the beautiful and sweet girl that I’d been unable to stop thinking about the past three weeks.

After a long silence I ventured a look, I saw her sitting there, looking at me with tears in her eyes and streaks of former tears fresh on her cheeks. I couldn’t tell by her face why she was crying, but I felt awful that I was probably the cause. I started to stand up, and was stopped by her as she grabbed my wrist.

“Is that true?” she asked, wiping her eyes with the back of her arm.

I nodded. “I meant every word of it.” I told her. “Please don’t cry.” I said.

She wiped her eyes again and let go of me before getting up. “I have to go.” She said before darting off and leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I didn’t know what I’d said to scare her off, I had no clue if I’d ever see her again, and that was the worst part. Something about what I’d said had upset her, and now I might never know what it was or how I could fix it. I sat there for two hours thinking about it before I finally got up and left.

I think all that time on the floor bruised my ass bone. I found anything but laying on my stomach to be horribly uncomfortable. So, for the next three days I lay on my bed staring at the floor. I wanted to cry or scream or something, but I found myself unable to muster the strength to put out that level of emotion.

Madeline called me somewhere in those days, she wanted to know how things had gone at the store and wanted me to come in and talk about it with her. I ignored her for as long as I could, but she started calling every other hour until I finally answered.

“What?” I answered curtly as I opened my phone.

“Well, good afternoon to you too.” Madeline said. “Why haven’t you returned any of my calls?” she asked.

I sighed. “Because I’m done seeing you.” I said.

“Why is that? Did things not work out with the girl?” she asked.

“No, they didn’t work out. I told her how I’d been thinking about her and that I just wanted to talk to her, and she started crying and ran off.” I explained. “So, I’m not coming to see you anymore because you made me hurt someone that I think I might have loved.” I said.

Madeline was silent for a moment. “Did you see her again after she ran off?” she asked.

I sighed again. “No, I haven’t been back to the store since that night.” I said. “Why would I go back, she’s going to avoid going there so she won’t have to see me again.” I added.

“I’m going to give you some free advice,” she started. “And I hope that you take it to heart.” She added. “Girls sometimes act on emotion, and when they do that it may seem like they’re mad or upset, but they will inevitably think about the situation and they’ll probably come back once they’ve had time to process things.” She explained. “Give her another chance and you might be surprised at what happens.” She added.

I sat there thinking, taking in her words and letting them simmer for a minute before responding. “I’m still not coming back in to see you.” I said finally.

“That’s fine, if it’s what you really want. But, if you do follow up with this thing and it ends up working out the way I think it will, will you at least call and tell me I was helpful?” she asked, her tone hopeful.

“I’ll think about it.” I said before closing my phone.

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapters 1-6 Posted 7/15/11)

V. Second Chance

Despite my reluctance, I found myself pulling into the parking lot of the store that night. I trudged up to the entrance and back to the toy department, and checked each of the aisles, finding them empty I turned and headed back to the entrance. My eyes were on the floor the whole way to the exit, and as the automatic doors opened I was hit with the warm air of the night and the sweet scent I’d smelled on Skye the first time I’d seen her. I looked up and saw her standing just outside the store, the connecting area between the sets of doors being the only thing separating us.

She was looking at me, her face was painted with surprise, but also appeared to have a tinge of happiness in it. She finally smiled, producing her perfect dimples once again. “I didn’t think I’d see you again.” She said.

My mind was racing, and I was at a loss for words. I didn’t know how I should proceed because I didn’t want to scare her off again. “I thought the same thing about you.” I finally said.

“I’m sorry I ran away.” She said, pulling at an errant thread on the leg of her overalls, soft yellow colored ones this time.

I shook my head. “I shouldn’t have put you in a position where you felt the need to.” I told her. “I was afraid I’d upset you.” I confessed.

She looked up from the thread she’d been battling and smiled at me. “You didn’t upset me.” She said, her voice tiny and wavering. “You made me happier than anyone ever has.” She said, tears welling up in her eyes.

I stood in stunned silence, unable to believe that I’d made this girl so happy that she couldn’t process what was happening and had to leave. “Can I come over to you?” I asked.

She nodded and sniffled as she wiped her eyes.

I walked toward her slowly, and stopped a foot or two away from her. “Can I hug you?” I asked, afraid that my boldness would be too much for her. To my surprise she nodded again, a bit slower this time, but accepting nonetheless. I closed the gap between us and wrapped my arms around her, allowing her to rest her head on my chest as I embraced her.

We stood there for a long while, though it only felt like a second to me. I breathed in the heavenly scent that seemed to envelope her, and felt at ease as I stood there with her. She finally broke the embrace, her tears dried up, and smiled up at me. “Thank you.” She whispered.

“Thank you.” I said as I let my arms release her and drop back to my sides.

She stood there for a second and looked around me before she returned her gaze to mine. “Do you have a quarter?” she asked.

I fished into my pockets and felt around for a moment before producing the token she’d asked for. I smiled as I dropped it into her flattened held out palm. She closed her hand around it and walked past me. I turned and watched her walk over to a helicopter ride that sat in front of the store. She climbed up into the seat of the ride and dropped the quarter into the slot on the front of the machine causing it to chug to life, playing music and moving back and forth slowly.

I walked over to the machine and sat on the bench next to it, watching Skye smile as the ride moved her. Something about her enjoying herself on some quarter powered ride was so beautiful and innocent, I found myself wishing I could be as carefree and unburdened as her, but at the same time I also just wanted to hold her and cherish her, keep her safe and happy so that she could enjoy herself like this all the time.

“That was fun!” she exclaimed as she hopped off the ride and took a seat next to me on the bench.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” I told her. I sat for a second and then took a deep breath. “Did you enjoy our hug?” I asked her.

She giggled and I felt soft little lips on my cheek. “I like you.” She said simply, her face flushed.

I looked over to her and smiled. “I like you too.” I said. “Do you want to go get breakfast or something and we can talk some more?” I asked.

“Maybe some other time.” She said. “I need to get going.” She said, her tone very apologetic.

I nodded. “Yeah, I understand.” I told her, afraid I’d pushed her too hard too fast and sent her packing.

She took my chin in her hands and turned my head to face her. “I really do need to get going, but I promise that I want to have breakfast with you.” She explained. “Just give me some time.” She added.

I nodded. “I’ve got all the time in the world.” I said, my head swimming as my brain tried to process this whole thing.

And then she was gone, leaving me happier than I’d ever felt. I sat there for a bit longer and then went home, and slept the soundest most peaceful sleep I’d had in months.

I found myself back at Madeline’s office the next day after calling and setting up an appointment. She didn’t seem surprised to see me as I entered her office and took a seat on the couch across from her chair.

“Good to see you Sam.” She said with a smile as she sat down across from me.

I nodded. “Did you know I’d come?” I asked.

Madeline shook her head. “I hoped you would, but I didn’t know you would.” She said. “I take it things went well.” She added.

“Yeah, they went amazingly well.” I started. “She showed up and we hugged and then she rode a helicopter ride outside the store and kissed my cheek before she left.” I explained.

She wrote something down. “Wow, that does sound good.” She said. “Did you get her number?” she asked.

I shook my head. “No, but I’m almost positive that I’ll see her again and eventually get that from her.” I said with a confident smile.

“Did she explain why she ran off?” Madeline asked.

“She said that I made her happier than anyone had, and that she didn’t know how to process the whole thing.” I explained.

She wrote some more. “Did she talk to you about anything else?” she asked.

“Not really.” I said. “She seems very reluctant to let me get too close, like she’s been hurt before and she’s skittish.” I explained.

She nodded. “Typically a regressive personality is a defense mechanism put into place by some sort of trauma or abuse.” She explained. “If you’re serious about pursuing a relationship with this girl you need to understand that she may not have the same goal as you.” She said.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“I mean that while you may have designs on having her be your girlfriend, or having a physical relationship with her, you may be disappointed that she isn’t after that. This girl may want nothing more than to be held and told that she’s special, she may need someone to be there for her emotionally before any kind of physicality can be pursued.” She explained.

I nodded. “Whatever she wants I’ll provide it for her. The only thing I’m after is more time with her.” I explained.

“I hope that’s true. If it is, you should let her know that the next time you see her. Give her the facts and let her be the one to make the decision whether to move forward or not.” She explained.

“Thanks.” I told her. “I really do like this girl, and I want to make absolutely sure that I don’t screw this up.” I said.

Madeline wrote something else down. “I know, but I do want you to understand that that may not be something you can control. This girl may not have the emotional tools to have a normal relationship. She may only have the ability to be friends with you, or she may be completely dependent on you.” She said.

“But at the end of the day she actually is an adult, she’s not really a little girl.” I said.

“Well, yes and no. Physically yes, she is a woman and not a child. Mentally and emotionally though, she may be nothing more than a child.” Madeline explained. “The flashes of adult emotion you described to me suggest that she may have some ability to handle situations as an adult. The way you describe her behavior and attire though tells me that she’s very much a young girl. She may not be able to process a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, she may want a playmate, or a “Daddy” figure.” She added.

I thought for a moment about what she was saying. On the one hand I cared for this girl and I desperately wanted to be a part of her life, on the other hand I knew that deep down I wanted her to be a girlfriend and a lover to me. “Should I ask her what she wants from me?” I asked.

Madeline shook her head. “Putting her in a position where she needs to decide on whether or not she has to be little or adult is not a good position to put her in if you want to make a relationship work, she has to come to that decision naturally. I would suggest going along with what she wants to see whether or not it’s something you can handle, if it is then that’s great for the both of you, but if it isn’t you need to accept that that won’t change and walk away.” She explained.

I sighed. “Why does everything have to be so complicated?” I asked.

Madeline smiled. “Love always is.” She said.

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapters 1-6 Posted 7/15/11)

I haven’t decided if this chapter should be the last one or not. I have more ideas for the story, I just haven’t written them yet. Lemme know if you think it should go on, or if it should end here. :smiley:

VI. Complicated

I sat on the bench outside the store that night thinking about what Madeline had said. I sat waiting for Skye to show up hopeful that today would be the day we had breakfast and could talk for real. I had checked inside the store for her and couldn’t find her, so I took a seat out front so I’d be sure to catch her if she showed up.

I looked up as a car stopped in front of me, the driver side window rolling down to reveal Skye. “Hop in.” she said simply before rolling up her window.

I practically leapt off the bench and went around to the other side of the car. I opened the door and dropped into the passenger seat of her late '90’s black Acura and we drove off.

“Hi.” I said as we turned out of the parking lot.

“Hi, Sam.” She said with a smile, but without looking at me.

I looked at her as she drove, surveying her attire and demeanor, both of which were a stark contrast to what I’d seen of her before tonight. She had no happy colors, just black. Her jeans were black, as were her shoes and shirt. The only color on her outfit was the red My Little Pony that was printed across her chest, from what I could tell it had black hair, red skin, and spiked collars around its neck and ankles.

“So, where are we going?” I asked finally as we drove down the deserted street.

“Somewhere.” She said, again without looking at me, this time without the smile.

I started to feel uneasy; the radical shift in Skye somehow was unsettling. It felt as though this dark and stoic girl had killed the sweet angel I’d come to know, but had somehow taken over her body and twisted it into a new form. “Are we going somewhere for breakfast?” I asked hopefully.

“I don’t eat breakfast.” She said as she negotiated a left hand turn.

“But the other day you promised we’d get breakfast.” I reminded her.

She finally looked at me. “I said that I wanted to have breakfast with you, like how I want to get to where we’re going without crashing the car because you wanted to play twenty questions.” She said before turning her attention back to driving.

I at in stunned silence for a moment, put off and somewhat angry that this stranger had replaced a girl I’d fallen for. “Who are you?” I finally asked.

This time she smiled when she looked at me. “That’s where we’re going.” She said.

After an hour or so in the car we stopped outside a large gate. I followed her lead and exited the car. In the early dawn light I could see headstones on the other side of the fence. “Are you a ghost?” I asked jokingly, trying to do anything to lighten the mood.

“Not in the strictest sense of the word.” She said. “A part of me is buried here though.” She added quietly.

We walked through the open gate and along the winding path that went through the cemetery until we broke from the path and walked through the graves themselves for a bit, coming to a stop in front of two stones.

“Sam, I’d like you to meet my parents.” She said her voice low and sad.

I read the stones. “Kavitha and Raj Sundaray. How did they die?” I asked.

“Drunk driver. They were on their way to pick me up from the sitter when some guy crossed into their lane and hit them head on.” She explained.

“I’m sorry.” I said quietly.

Sky nodded. “Thank you.” She said. “This is why we’re here, so I can explain to you why I am the way I am.” She said.

“You don’t have to explain anything.” I told her.

“Yes I do.” She said. “I like you a lot Sam, and I want to see where that goes, but at the same time I know that if we start something without full disclosure then a relationship is doomed before it starts.” She explained.

I nodded. “Alright, tell me everything then.” I said.

She took a few deep breaths to calm herself and then started her story. “I was four when my parents were killed. When they died I went to live with my mom’s sister, she was not the best parent in the world. She had a two year old daughter already, and the addition of a four year old orphan wasn’t exactly high on her list of wants.” She explained. “Anyway, after my parents died I started wetting the bed nightly. At first she would just yell at me and make me wash the sheets, and then she started spanking me with a hairbrush and berating me.” She said, wiping a tear from her eye.

“Jesus. Was she psychotic?” I asked.

Skye shook her head. “She was a drunk. She’d go out every night, sometimes all night and then stagger back home just in time to pass out on the couch.” She said. “One day she decided that since I couldn’t stop wetting the bed that I’d have to wear diapers every night like my two year old cousin. She didn’t even help me put them on, she just tossed the package on the bed and ordered me to wear them.” She explained, more tears forming. “After a few nights I finally got the hang of putting them on right, and when the bed stopped being wet I fell off her radar.” She added.

“I’m sorry.” I told her.

She feigned a smile at me and continued. “I spent most of my time playing with her daughter and taking care of her daughter because she was too busy being wasted to even feed her baby. After a while I started viewing this baby as my equal. We both wore diapers, and I’d often eat the same food as her because I was too little to actually cook anything. So for almost a full year until I started school I spent my days playing on the floor with her and drinking bottles with her, napping with her, we did everything together.” She said. “Then I started school, and the teachers thought I was handicapped or something because I wore diapers and behaved like a two year old.” She explained.

“Why were you wearing diapers during the day if you were a bedwetter?” I asked.

“It was easier. I mean my aunt kept buying them, so I would just wear them all the time. I think I thought that if I was more like her daughter she’d love me, or even care about me at all.” She explained.

“But she didn’t even care about her own daughter; she was a piece of shit drunk that left a four year old to raise a two year old.” I said, my anger rising.

“You’re not wrong.” She said. “But let me finish.” She added.

I nodded. “Sorry, please continue.” I told her.

“Anyway, they put me in “special” classes for a while until I caught up to the rest of the kids. I would be a normal kid at school and then when I came home I’d change into my diapers and play with my cousin. My aunt eventually took some initiative and got my cousin potty trained which meant that I had to start hiding my daytime diaper wearing from them. I’d sit on the floor of my room and play with old baby toys almost every afternoon when I got home from school.” She explained. “When my aunt stopped buying diapers for me I would just steal money from her purse and go buy them myself. I did that until I was old enough to get a job and then I bought them with my own money, then I graduated high school and moved out, and the rest is history.” She said.

“So do you still wear diapers?” I asked.

She nodded. “Not all the time, just when I’m feeling particularly little.” She said. “I’ve been wearing a lot more since I met you.” She said with a blush.

“Why is that?” I asked, somewhat confused.

“You make me feel smaller.” She said. “In a good way.” She added.

“I don’t understand.” I told her.

“When I met you, you didn’t care what I was wearing or how I was acting. You just saw me and it didn’t make you uneasy, you saw me for who I was and you accepted it. That made me happy, and when I’m happy I feel smaller, younger if you will, hence more diapers.” She explained.

“So why are you dressed differently now?” I asked.

She gestured to the headstones. “For them.” She said. “It’s silly, but I’m not sure I’d be comfortable standing here in front of their graves dressed like a baby.” She explained. “So, you haven’t told me what you think about all of this.” She said, changing the subject.

I took a deep breath. “Well, it’s a lot of information to process.” I told her.

“If you had to make a choice, right now, accept me for who I am or walk away, what would you choose?” she asked.

“The problem is that I don’t know who you are.” I said. “Are you the playful little girl that I’ve been infatuated with since the day I met her, or are you the stoic girl that doesn’t want to talk while she’s driving and breaks promises about breakfast?” I asked.

“I’m both.” She said quietly. “I’m the girl that likes to be held when she’s feeling little, but wants her space when she’s not. The girl that likes to be told she’s pretty and the girl that knows she is. I’m the girl that wants to be rocked to sleep some nights and have her world rocked in the bedroom other nights. It’s a package deal, you want one and you get both.” She said.

“How do I know when you’re one or the other?” I asked. “What if one day I want to take little you to the zoo, and come to find out big you already has plans to go to the opera or something? What if I want to fool around in the bedroom and you want to sit on the floor in your diapers and watch cartoons? How am I going to know which you I’m dealing with on any given day?” I asked.

She stood silent for a moment. “You won’t.” she answered. “But how is that different than any other relationship? Do you know when your girlfriend is going to be in a bitchy mood when you wake up? No. Does she know she’s going to wake up in a bitchy mood? No. I’m no different, I just wake up and go with whatever feels right that day.” She said.

“I need to think about this.” I told her.

Her mouth hung open slightly as she started to cry. “I can’t believe this. I just shared my most intimate personal story with you, and now you aren’t sure if you like me or not? What the fuck is wrong with you?!” she screamed.

“Nothing. I just need to think about whether or not I can love both versions of you.” I said.

She scoffed angrily. “What was it, the diapers? You think I’m some sort of pervert or something because I like to wear diapers?” she asked.

I shook my head. “No, I have zero problem with that, in fact I think it’s kind of cute. I have a problem with the attitude and demeanor that adult you has. If it weren’t such a polar opposite of the way you are when you’re little I wouldn’t even have to think about it, but it is and I do. I don’t want to give you false hope and say that I accept both versions of you and then I end up hating you when you aren’t little, it isn’t fair to either of us.” I said.

“So what, I should just shut up and be little all the time so that you’ll like me all the time? How is that fair?” she asked.

“I didn’t say that. I want you to be you; I just need to get to know both parts of you better before I can commit to anything.” I explained.

“Fine.” She said. “If you decide that you want to try and get to know me better then call me.” She said as she pulled a pen from her pocket and grabbed my hand to write the number down on it. “If you decide that you don’t, then you aren’t the guy I thought you were.” She said before she turned and walked off toward the exit of the cemetery.

I looked down at my hand and sighed. As the sun started to rise I pulled out my phone and called a cab, the girl of my dreams and my ride were both gone.

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapters 1-6 Posted 7/15/11)

great story please keep it going. :slight_smile:

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapters 1-6 Posted 7/15/11)

I disagree. (Not about it being a great story!) I like the uncertainty of the ending.

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapters 1-6 Posted 7/15/11)

:)It was a great story and by all means please keep it going!!! :slight_smile:

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapter 7 Posted 7/16/11)

Well, I decided that there is more to this tale and that I will continue with it. I hope that is agreeable to everyone, and if you honestly like the end of chapter 6 as the end of the story then by all means discontinue reading. BUT, you’re gonna miss some good stuff. :wink: Thanks for the comments, they’re writing fuel. Enjoy!

VII. Show and Tell

It’s been three days since I saw Skye at the cemetery. I haven’t slept a wink in those three days. I’ve sat up thinking about calling her, I’ve laid down thinking about calling her, and I’ve even dialed all but the last number of her phone number before closing my phone. I want to call her, more than anything I just want to see her again. The problem I keep coming back to is that I’m not sure I can face her after the way we left things. So here I sit, like an idiot, hating a situation I have the power to end but am too stupid to do so.

Madeline has been blowing up my phone for the past three days as well. I’m starting to suspect that she’s bugged my house and knows exactly when I’m going through something that requires her professional help. Maybe that’s the lack of sleep talking though.

“This is retarded.” I think to myself as I pick up my phone from the coffee table and open it. “I’m going to call Skye and tell her that I want to see her.” I said, more to strengthen my resolve than as an actual declaration of intent. I entered in the all too familiar numbers, and then the final number before hitting the “send” button.

“Hello.” Her sweet voice said after two rings.

I sat in silence for a moment, my fear welling up again and urging my hand to close the phone. I fought that fear back and cleared my throat. “Hi Skye. It’s Sam.” I said.

“Oh.” She said simply, a tone of disappointment in her voice. “What can I do for you Sam?” she asked rather impatiently.

I sighed. “Look, I know I hurt your feelings the other day, and for that I’m sorry. I just wanted to call you and let you know that I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that day.” I confessed.

“Well, you’ve been thinking about me nonstop for three days and now you have me on the phone, what do you want?” she asked, her words dripping with anger and hurt.

“I don’t know.” I said. “I know that I haven’t slept in three days and I know that you’re the reason for that. I know that every time I close my eyes to try and sleep I see you crying and angry, and I’m completely awake again. Most importantly, I know that I was better off having you in my life, and I want nothing more than for that to happen again.” I told her.

“What about your concerns about us and how things would work?” she asked her tone softer and more tolerant.

“I’ll make it work. Whatever I have to do to be with you, I’ll do it.” I said. “Please just give me a chance.” I pleaded.

She didn’t say anything for a minute or so, and I checked my phone to make sure she was still on the line. “Do you have a pen?” she asked.

I scrambled to find a writing utensil of some sort and quickly grabbed a Sharpie I’d pocketed from work and a slip of paper. “Got it.” I said.

“1641 Oak Lane. White house blue door.” She said. “That’s my house, you can come over tomorrow anytime after eleven A.M.” she added.

I repeated what she said back to her to make sure I got the address right and then we hung up. I stared at the paper in my hand, my golden ticket back into Skye’s life, I kissed it and put it in my wallet and went to try and lie down.

The next day I pulled up outside Skye’s house and sat in my car for a minute to gather my thoughts. I had no idea what awaited me inside other that her, but I wasn’t sure which her I’d be seeing today. I quickly pushed those thoughts out of my head and tried to focus on the fact that I had a chance to make things right and I needed to not blow it.

I exhaled sharply and exited my car. I walked up the small path leading to the front door, taking time to admire the small garden lights and flowers that lined the path on either side. A pair of flower beds sat on either side of the front door, roses blooming in them creating a pleasant cloud of aroma for anyone standing on the doorstep. I knocked on the blue door before me and waited.

The door unlocked and opened revealing Skye. She had a dark blue tanktop on and a black skirt under it. She wore pastel yellow sandals that allowed me to see her pink painted toe nails. “Come on in.” she said as she stepped aside to allow me entrance.

Her house was pretty amazing inside, spacious and full of all sorts of interesting things. She had a big round chair in her living room, the kind that is a big bowl with a cushion in it. Shelves lined several of the walls, books filled most of them, but others were filled with assorted knickknacks. She had a lime green couch that looked like it was bought in the '70’s and stored till today to keep it perfectly preserved. Near the edge of the living room was a drafting table, and next to that a desk with a very expensive looking computer on it, I could see a drawing tablet plugged in next to what looked like a scanner also on the large oak desk.

“Would you like a tour?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, this place is amazing.” I told her.

“Thanks, I do what I can.” She said. “Well, this is the living room.” She said, gesturing with her arms to illustrate that we were in fact in the living room. “As you can see I have eclectic tastes.” She said gesturing toward the lime couch. “I like to read and collect things that pique my interest.” She said pointing out her shelves of stuff.

“What’s all that over there?” I asked pointing to the desk with the computer.

Skye smiled and walked over to the desk. “This is my work area.” She said. “I do commissions for people and I have a shop online with prints and stuff of mine that people can buy.” She explained.

“What kind of commissions?” I asked.

“All kinds of stuff. Paintings, tattoos, I’ve even done a few comics.” She said with a smile. “I’m not picky, as long as the money comes in I’ll do anything.” She added.

I looked around the room. “It must be a pretty lucrative business.” I told her.

“I do alright for myself, but most of this stuff is from money my parents left me.” She explained.

We moved on to the kitchen and dining room and from there to the backyard. Several small gardens were spread out across the yard each with many different colored flowers blooming in them. Near the center of the yard was a swingset that looked like it was pulled right from a playground or school. To the right of that was an above ground pool that was about ten feet around, it had rubber ducks and an inflatable raft shaped like a frog in it.

“Looks like you’ve got the fun covered out here.” I told her with a smile.

She smiled back. “Well, I work hard and I play hard.” She said before sticking her tongue out at me playfully.

We went back into the house and back to the back hallway. “That’s the bathroom over there, and my bedroom is at the end of the hall and this is the guest room.” She said as she pointed out each closed door. The guest room door stood out more than the others; it was painted pink and had paint handprints all over it.

“Is that your umm, other room?” I asked, pointing to the guest room door.

Skye blushed slightly. “Yes, that’s my nursery and playroom.” She said somewhat nervously.

“Can I see it?” I asked. “If you’re alright with showing it to me.” I added.

She shuffled nervously and looked down at the floor. “Maybe some other time.” She mumbled.

I placed a hand on her shoulder. “You don’t have to be embarrassed, you can take your time showing me things.” I told her.

Skye looked up at me; she was biting her lower lip. “I want to show you, I just don’t want it to be too much too fast. I mean it’s one thing to hear about every part of my little side but it’s another thing to actually see it all.” She said.

I smiled at her. “Skye, I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t share yourself with me. I promise you that I’m here because I want to make things work between us, and I want to know everything about you but only when you’re ready to show me.” I told her reassuringly.

She nodded and moved past me to the guest room door. Placing her hand on the knob she took a deep breath and started to open the door. As the door opened the soft, sweet scent I’d smelled on Skye rolled out as if the room’s sole purpose was to store the heavenly smell. When the door was all the way open Skye stepped aside to allow me to walk in first.

The first thing I noticed was that there was a lot of pink adorning the room. I looked around the room, taking in all the sights. In the corner under the window was an adult sized crib, near the foot of that was a large changing table with stacks of various diapers under the top on a shelf. The walls were painted a soft pink and had Winnie the Pooh characters drawn on the wall; it reminded me of the pediatrician’s office I went to as a kid. The center of the room had a play mat spread out on the floor and was littered with soft toys and stuffed animals. Two large mirrored closet doors completed my pan of the room, and I soon found myself turned back to facing Skye who was partially hidden behind the door frame.

“Well?” she asked her eyes a little wider than normal as she looked up at me. She had the look of a small child who had a bad report card and now her parents were home and she wanted to be as cute as possible so they wouldn’t be mad.

I looked back at the room over my shoulder and down at the toys on the floor. “It looks like a very messy little girl has been playing in here.” I told her, trying desperately to keep from smiling and laughing at how cute she looked.

Skye practically leapt through the door and started gathering up the scattered toys on the floor. She was muttering something to herself, it sounded like she was scolding herself for leaving the toys out though she knew that I might see the room that day.

“Skye.” I said causing her to stop immediately and turn to face me, her arms still full of collected toys. “I was teasing you.” I told her, a warm smile on my face to let her know everything was alright.

“You, you aren’t mad?” she stammered.

I shook my head. “Why would I be mad? What place is better for little girls to leave their toys than in their nursery?” I asked.

The toys dropped to the floor as she let them go and dove at me, her arms wrapping around my torso tightly as she buried her face in my chest. “I was afraid that I’d made you mad and that you were going to not like me anymore.” She said, her voice muffled by my shirt.

I reached down and lifted her chin up so she could face me. “I don’t know if I’m capable of not liking you anymore.” I said. Then I caught a glint in her eye. “You can turn it on and off like a faucet, can’t you?” I asked.

“Turn what on and off?” she asked.

“Little and big. Adult and baby. You can switch in and out anytime you want, can’t you?” I asked.

She got a sheepish look on her face and let me go before taking a step back. “It’s possible.” She said quietly.

I exhaled sharply. “So, all that stuff you said at the cemetery about you just going with whatever felt right, and the flipping out on me for having general concerns, what was that?” I asked.

She swallowed hard and looked away. “A test.” She said.

“A test? What kind of test?” I asked.

She continued looking at the wall to her right as she started to answer.

“Look at me when you’re talking to me!” I shouted.

She snapped her attention right to me, her lower lip quivering. “It was a test to see if you really liked me or not.” She answered her voice wavering and fearful. “If it makes you feel any better, you being here means you passed.” She offered with a half hearted smile.

I inhaled deeply and exhaled sharply. “I didn’t sleep for three days because I was so worried that I had made some kind of bone headed mistake. I thought that I was wrong for having doubts about trying to have a relationship with you.” I said. “You’re an awful person.” I told her, my gaze cold and angry.

She whimpered, and started to cry as a pattering sound on the floor began to fill the room. We both looked down at the same time to see a small trickle of urine coming from under her skirt and fall onto the play mat below. “Please, I’m sorry for tricking you. I just needed to know that you weren’t just interested in me because you were some kind of sex pervert.” She confessed as the small trickle of pee turned into a full stream and she dropped to a squatting position as she began bawling.

I stepped toward her just enough so that when she looked up from the floor I towered over her, providing her a view I knew would make her see me as an authority figure and someone to be listened to. “You see? Right now, I could be consoling you and getting ready to strip you down and diaper you up.” I said. Then I squatted down in front of her so she could see my face clearly, see the look of anger and hurt in my eyes. “But you fucked that up when you lied to me.” I said, barely able to contain my own tears as I got up and headed for the door.

“Please, don’t go!” she wailed after me. “I can’t help it, I’m a compulsive liar.” She confessed between sobs.

I stopped and turned around with a sigh. “So, you know you have a problem, are you doing anything to fix it?” I asked my tone very demanding and short.

She nodded and stood up slowly, errant drops of pee still coming from below her skirt. “I’m seeing a therapist to help me stop doing it.” She said.

“And how do I know that you’re not lying to me right now?” I asked.

“I put her card up on the fridge, I can call her and confirm my next appointment with her or something to prove that I’m seeing her every week.” She said, her voice hopeful that perhaps she’d found some way to keep me from leaving.

“Stay there, I’ll get the card and you can use my phone.” I said as I left the room and went to the kitchen. Right in the center of the fridge was the card, a card I suddenly realized I’d seen before. The card was for Madeline Price, my therapist.

“Did you find it?!” Skye called out.

A smile began to spread across my face. “Oh yeah, I found it!” I answered. “I found the golden ticket.” I thought to myself.

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapter 7 Posted 7/16/11)

Damn. Here I go to the trouble of telling you not to continue, the ending was right just the way it was, and you go and prove me wrong. Nice chapter.

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapter 7 Posted 7/16/11)

Thanks for keeping the story going and it was a great chapter!!! :slight_smile:

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapter 7 Posted 7/16/11)

This may sound pathetic to you, but every time I read this story title I see “nocturnal emissions” and think of wet dreams.

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapter 7 Posted 7/16/11)

…that was the point. I wanted the title to be something that would make people do a double take, thinking they read emissions, and then also be relevant to the story in that most of the stuff takes place at night…it sounded better when I started writing it. :slight_smile:

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapter 7 Posted 7/16/11)

Ah, sorry, in which case, it totally works!

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapter 7 Posted 7/16/11)


VIII. Give and Take

I returned to the nursery with the card in my hand. I looked at Skye standing in the center of the room looking at me apologetically as she shifted uncomfortably in her wet panties and skirt. “Do you want me to help you get cleaned up and into some clean clothes?” I asked her.

Skye nodded sullenly and stuck her thumb in her mouth.

I stepped into the room and up to her. “Was that a yes?” I asked as I looked down at her.

“Yeth.” She slurped behind her thumb.

I leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Too bad.” I told her.

She looked up at me, her eyes wide with surprise.

“I want you to clean up the mess you made and take a bath, and wash your wet clothes.” I told her. “When you’re done with all of that I want you to come into the living room and tell me that you’re done.” I said.

She said nothing for a moment as she searched my eyes for any sign that I was teasing her again, when she found none she looked down at her feet and mumbled behind her thumb.

“What? Did you say something?” I asked.

She looked back up at me when she heard my tone. “Othay.” She repeated.

“Good girl, I’ll be in the living room waiting for you.” I told her before I left the room and headed to the living room. I could hear movement in the nursery as Skye set to her tasks, and I couldn’t help but smile as I picked up a magazine off the coffee table and began thumbing through it.

After a minute or two Skye emerged from the nursery and headed into the kitchen, I heard her rummaging in the cabinets for a moment before I saw her leave with a bucket of cleaning supplies and dart back to the nursery without saying a word.

I set my magazine down and got up from the couch before making my way back to the nursery. I peeked around the door frame and smiled as I saw Skye on all fours in the middle of the room with pink rubber gloves on scrubbing the play mat with a soapy scrub brush. I watched her work for a minute, stifling a chuckle as I heard her scolding herself for “piddling on the floor”. She was so engrossed in her work that she didn’t see me standing there, a situation which I intended to maintain. I slipped back behind the wall and headed back to the living room.

Sometime later I heard the nursery door close and then another door open and close. I got up again and went back to the hallway stopping when I heard the tub start running in the bathroom. I knocked softly on the door, and was startled with how quickly the door flung open. Skye stood there, her hair disheveled and her clothes covered with wet spots from her cleaning.

“Whatchya doin’?” I asked.

Skye looked puzzled for a moment. “You told me to take a bath.” She said finally, her voice sounding uncertain that what she was saying was accurate.

“Do you think it’s a good idea to take a bath with the door closed?” I asked. “What if you slipped and fell or drowned? How would I know?” I asked.

Skye blushed deeply and removed her hand from the door before she turned around and started to slowly remove her clothes. I watched for a second and then realized that I was forcing this poor girl to strip and bathe in front of me despite the fact that we barely knew each other.

“Tell you what, I’m gonna go back to the living room. If you need me just holler.” I said, noting the visible relief that seemed to wash over her before I left.

I returned to the living room disappointed in myself that I might be pushing Skye too hard with my demands. On the one hand I did want to get back at her for lying to me, but on the other I didn’t want to make her so uncomfortable that she wanted nothing to do with me or was afraid of me. I sat back down on the couch to decide how I was going to proceed with this whole thing.

A half hour after I left her to take a bath I heard her shuffle into the living room. I turned to see her standing there with her large towel wrapped around her body and a smaller one wrapped around her hair. “I finished my bath.” She reported.

I smiled at her and stood up. “Good girl.” I praised, getting a wide smile to spread across her face. “I think you should go get dressed before you catch a cold.” I told her playfully.

“Umm, I was wondering if you,” she started, her shyness taking over again and forcing her to look down at the floor and talk into her chest. “Well, if you wanted to that is…” she said, trailing off before she finished her sentence.

I waited for the rest of the sentence to come, and when it didn’t I jumped in. “If I wanted to what?” I asked.

She blushed deeply again and I saw her eyeing her thumb, dying to put it in her mouth to calm herself. “Do you want to help me get dressed?” she asked hurriedly as though her words were made of fire and she needed to get them out before they burned her mouth.

“Would you like me to help you get dressed?” I asked. “I don’t want you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable.” I told her.

She couldn’t wait any longer; she thrust her thumb upward and into her mouth with lightning speed. She looked up at me with her cutest face and nodded. “Yeth pleathe.” She slurped.

My heart began to beat a little faster as I walked over to her and took her by the hand and led her back to the nursery. I opened the door and turned back to look at her. “You did a very good job cleaning up your room, I’m very proud of you.” I told her, my tone now morphed into that of a parent’s when they’re talking to their young child.

We crossed the room to the changing table and I turned again to her. “Do you have panties in here?” I asked.

Skye shook her head. “Onwy diaperths an twainink panths.” She said behind her thumb.

I deciphered her muddled words and cleared my throat. “Do you want panties?” I asked her.

She gave the slightest little wiggle as if she felt a bug scamper up her back before she shook her head.

“Training pants?” I asked.

She shook her head slowly, knowing that there was only one other option on the table. “Diaperth.” She said.

“Alright.” I said, my heart now racing as I nervously reached down and picked her up. I couldn’t believe how light she actually was. She wasn’t as light as a real baby, not by a long shot, but I could easily lift her off the floor and up to the top of the changing table without feeling like I would break my back. I looked at her tentatively for a moment before reaching for the edge of the towel that sat just above her breasts, when she made no move to stop me I grabbed the towel and slowly pulled it off of her.

She blushed as the towel fell to the floor in a heap. She looked away as I drank in the sight of her naked body. I realized I was staring just quick enough to avoid being creepy, and then I gently guided her to lie down on the table. I marveled at what a conundrum her body was. It was fragile and childlike, but somehow distinctly womanly.

“Is this your first time?” Skye asked, her voice startling me because I had slipped off into a bit of a trance.

I shook my head to bring myself back to reality. “No, I’ve seen girls naked before.” I explained, my cheeks flushing slightly.

She giggled. “I meant is it your first time putting a diaper on someone?” she clarified.

“Oh! Well, yeah.” I confessed. “I thought I could fake my way through it.” I added.

She smiled. “You’ll have to stop staring at me first.” She teased.

I cleared my throat nervously and reached under the table to grab one of the diapers. “There are two kinds, which one do I use?” I asked.

“The disposables.” She said. “The ones on the right.” She clarified when I didn’t immediately come back up with what she’d requested.

I grabbed one of the plastic covered diapers and brought it back up with me. “Now what?” I asked.

“Unfold it and put it under my butt.” She said her voice very patient.

I opened the diaper up and slid it under her as she lifted her butt up for me. I wiggled it a bit to get it into the right spot and then looked up at her for my next instructions. She had her arms folded underneath her head, giving the appearance that she was lounging on the table top as she waited for me to complete my tasks.

“Now get the wipes and powder that are next to the diapers and wipe the diaper are clean and put some powder down there.” She explained.

I dropped back down to the under part of the table and grabbed the box of wipes and container of powder. I came back up and set the items down on the table. I pulled a wipe out of the box and went to work wiping her groin.

“Don’t forget my butt.” She chirped.

I grabbed her ankles and lifted her legs up before making a few gentle wipes down her crack and lowering her legs again. I tossed the wipe into the bin at the foot of the table and picked up the powder. I twisted the top open and then began sprinkling the white powder onto her groin. It was in that moment that I realized that the smell I’d been so keen on since meeting Skye was none other than the white powder I was sprinkling on her.

“So, this is your perfume?” I asked.

She giggled. “I guess you could say that.” She said.

“It’s been driving me crazy that I didn’t know what the soft and pleasant smell that always seemed to follow you was.” I told her as I applied some powder to her butt.

“Rub it in a little please.” She requested.

I did as she asked, trying to be as careful as possible not to touch her inappropriately. I finished my work and then grabbed the front of the diaper and pulled it up between her legs. “Like this?” I asked.

Skye nodded, and I held the diaper flat against her body as I pulled the tapes into place and secured them, completing my first ever diapering. I beamed proudly as I looked up at her for approval. She sat up and checked my work. She poked and prodded the diaper and wiggled her butt a bit before she leaned forward and hugged me. “Excellent job.” She said with a smile. “Now help me down.” She said.

I picked her up and set her down on the floor where she immediately moved to the mirrored closet doors and slid one aside revealing an enormous collection of clothes. She turned back to me and smiled. “Now we pick an outfit.” She said.

I was once again thrust into unfamiliar territory as I was now expected to find an outfit for this adorable girl that stood before me in only a bulky disposable diaper. “What kind of outfit do you want?” I asked, praying that she had some kind of idea of what she wanted to wear.

She made a happy noise that resembled a squeal and practically dove into the closet. She crinkled adorably with each movement, and after she had disappeared into the mob of clothes for a bit she finally emerged with a light pink shirt with white lace trimming the arm holes and the bottom of the shirt. An ice skating penguin was happily smiling from his perch on the chest of the shirt, and I had trouble deciding who looked happier, Skye or the penguin.

I took the shirt from her and helped her pull it over her head before removing the towel that was holding her hair and dropping it to the floor. I looked her up down and leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. “I think you might be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” I whispered to her.

She beamed at me and hugged me tightly. “I’m sorry I lied to you.” She said.

“I know. I forgive you.” I told her. “But from now on, I want us to be completely honest with each other.” I added.

She nodded her agreement. “I promise to be honest with you from now on.” She said. Then she let go of me and looked up with a wide smile. “I’m thirsty!” she said excitedly before she scampered off out of the room.

I watched her diapered bottom jiggle as she ran out and suddenly had the strongest urge to swat it. “Later.” I thought to myself as I followed behind her.

I rounded the corner at the end of the hallway and saw the fridge door opened and a little diapered butt sticking out just beyond the door. I decided to take my opportunity sooner rather than later and hauled my arm back and gave a powerful open palmed smack to the seat of her diaper causing her to scream and jump out of the fridge.

“OW!” she cried as she rubbed her sore behind and stuck her lower lip out. “Why’d you smack me?” she asked.

I smiled widely at her. “Because your butt looked like it needed it.” I said. “Did you find something to drink?” I asked.

She nodded and reached into the fridge, pulling a baby bottle full of brown liquid out and handing it to me. “Its chocolate milk!” she squealed. She closed the fridge door and grabbed my hand, leading me into the living room. “Sit.” She commanded when we got to the couch.

I seated myself and watched happily as she climbed onto my lap and positioned herself so that I was cradling her. I put the nipple of the bottle in her mouth and stroked her hair gently as she nursed it. She closed her eyes and made contented mewling noises as she drank. I lay my head back against the couch and closed my eyes. Before long I fell asleep with a snugly little girl in my arms, and it was the best sleep I’d ever had.

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapter 8 Posted 7/17/11)

awww, that’s a really sweet story :slight_smile: Won’t mind reading more, but this chapter makes a good ending in itself :slight_smile:

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapter 8 Posted 7/17/11)

I like this, weather you add more or not. Good stuff ;D

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapter 8 Posted 7/17/11)

Thanks very much for the kind words, I’m glad people are enjoying this. :smiley:

IX. Sated

I had a wonderful dream. I dreamt that I was happy. The details are fuzzy, but I know that it had something to do with Skye and I being together.

I woke up to find my lap empty and a blanket covering me as well as a pink post-it note stuck to my forehead. I pulled the little square off of me and rubbed the sleep from my eyes before reading it.

‘Sam, I had to run into town to mail something so I can make $$$. I’ll be back soon, and I’d really like it if you stayed for dinner.  Love, Skye.’ I smiled as I set the note down on the coffee table and stretched before getting up. I went to the bathroom and then went out to the backyard and pulled my phone from my pocket. I scrolled down my contact list and stopped on Madeline’s name and hit SEND.

I got her voice mail and waited for the beep before leaving my message. “Hey Madeline, this is Sam Roosevelt calling to schedule an appointment with you for next week sometime. Call me back and let me know what you have available. Thanks.” I said. I closed my phone and pocketed it then headed back into the house.

I grabbed a Pepsi from the fridge and went back to the couch to wait for Skye to get home. I only had to wait a few minutes before I heard the front door unlock. I quickly set my drink down and got up from the couch and headed to the door as it opened and Skye came in.

“Oh, you’re awake.” She said as she shut the door and set her keys down on the small table next to the door. “Did you get my note?” she asked with a playful giggle.

I smiled. “It was sort of hard to miss.” I said.

She returned my smile. “Did you snoop while I was gone? Maybe take a peek in my medicine cabinet? Poke around my underwear drawer? Try on my clothes?” she teased.

I nodded. “I did all of those things.” I said. “But, I think you look much better in your clothes.” I added.

“Well, I don’t look half bad out of them.” She said with a mischievous grin and a wink.

I chuckled and then leaned in and kissed her. I gently slid my tongue into her mouth and caressed her tongue with mine before picking her up and holding her to me. She wrapped her legs around my waist and kissed me passionately as she wrapped her arms around me.

I broke the kiss off after another moment and shifted her around so she was perched on my hip with her butt supported by my arm. “We’ll finish that later.” I said after she made an unhappy grumble and started to pout. “If you’re a good girl.” I added.

She gasped and playfully smacked my arm. “I’m always a good girl.” She said nodding her head to emphasize her point.

“Is that why you peed all over the floor earlier?” I asked.

“Well, I’m mostly a good girl.” She corrected.

I set her back down and went to grab my drink. “So, what’s for dinner?” I asked.

Skye unbuttoned her pants, slipped her flip flops off and removed her jeans. She draped them over the back of the couch and then pulled her shirt off and set that on top of the pants. Then she removed her bra and sat that on top of both the other garments.

I admired her body again as she stood there naked except for her diaper. Her breasts, B’s at the most, swayed ever so gently as she picked up her small stack of clothes and headed out of the room. She returned a moment later, pulling her pink penguin shirt over her head as she walked into the room. “Much better.” She said with a smile. “Oh, dinner is going to be lasagna.” She said, remembering that I’d asked.

“Yum.” I said. “Do you need any help getting it ready?” I asked.

She shook her head. “Nope, I can do it all by myself.” She told me as she beamed with pride. “You can however sit at the table and talk to me while I cook.” She said.

I went to the table and had a seat. “What should we talk about?” I asked.

“Well, I told you about my childhood, tell me about yours.” She said.

I chuckled. “Not much to tell.” I said. “I had a pretty normal childhood, and my parents loved me very much.” I told her.

“What do they do?” she asked as she rummaged around the kitchen collecting ingredients and cooking utensils.

“My dad is a lawyer and my mom’s an optometrist. They moved to Colorado two years ago when my dad got promoted to CEO of the Denver office, and my mom opened her own optometry office.” I explained.

“So your family has money?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yes, my family does have money.” I told her, putting emphasis on the word ‘family’.

“Bad blood between you and them?” she asked.

I sighed and took a sip of my soda. “A little while after they moved to Denver they asked me to take my sister in because she’d fallen in with a bad crowd. I told them that she was sixteen and she was going to make some bad choices.” I explained. “Six months later she was raped at a college party she somehow ended up at. My parents blamed me of course, and they said some things and I said some things, and to make a long story short I’m not in the will anymore.” I said.

“I’m sorry.” She said. “What about your sister, how does she feel about you?” she asked.

“I’m her big brother; I don’t think she’ll ever stop loving me.” I said. “Anyway, she still sends me emails and stuff regularly. She says that as soon as she turns eighteen she’s going to move out and come visit, so I have that to look forward to.” I said with a smile.

“Well if you’re as caring with her as you are with me, then I think she’s very lucky.” She told me.

I laughed. “Well, I don’t think I’ll be bottle feeding my sister while she snuggles on my lap if that’s what you mean.” I said.

Skye stuck her tongue out at me. “You know that wasn’t what I meant.” She said, rolling her eyes. “Let’s play a game!” she shouted excitedly.

“What kind of game?” I asked.

“Like truth or dare, but without dares.” She said. “So, let’s play Truth. I’ll ask you a question and then you ask me one and we’ll go back and forth until we run out of questions.” She explained.

I nodded. “Alright.” I said.

“How old are you?” she asked.

“Twenty-six.” I told her. “How old are you?” I asked before taking a drink of my soda.

“Seventeen.” She answered.

I choked on my soda and turned away as I coughed violently to keep from choking to death. “What!?” I screamed.

Skye burst out laughing, her face bright red. “I was joking, it was just a joke.” She said. “I couldn’t help myself, I knew you’d freak out, and you were in the middle of drinking, and it was just too perfect to pass up.” She explained. “I’m twenty-five.” She added.

“That wasn’t funny.” I told her as I wiped soda from my chin and cleared my throat. “I want to see you’re driver’s license.” I said, causing her to laugh again.

“Alright, it’s my turn. What are your fetishes?” she asked.

I raised my eyebrows. “Upping the ante, eh?” I asked. “Well, before I met you I was mostly two scoops of vanilla. Now though, I think women in diapers and baby clothes have piqued my interest.” I said.

She smiled. “Well, that’s good for me then.” She said.

I nodded. “What about you? Do you have any other tricks in your bag?” I asked.

She continued working on our dinner and didn’t look up when she answered. “Well, I’m a bit of an exhibitionist, I like humiliation, and also I like to be dominated.” She said. “But, none of that should be news to you.” She said looking up at me with a grin.

I nodded. “I guess I’ve seen it all. Well, see ya.” I said before pretending to get up and leave.

“Sit your butt down mister man.” She ordered with a giggle. “How many girls have you been with?” she asked after I’d returned to my seat.

“Five.” I said simply.

She looked surprised. “Only five?” she asked. “Wow.” She added.

“Is that a lot?” I asked.

She shook her head and laughed. “No, that is not a lot. That’s why I’m surprised, you’re so handsome that I figured it’d be higher.” She explained.

I blushed slightly at being thought of as handsome. “Well, you’re absolutely stunning, so maybe I should brace myself for your number.” I said as I grabbed the table and pretended to hold on for dear life.

“Two.” She said with a perfect little smile.

It was my turn to be surprised. “Two. That’s amazing.” I said. “So, you’re barely not a virgin then.” I mused.

She laughed loudly. “No, I’m very far from not a virgin.” She said. “I said I was with two guys, not that I’d had sex twice.” She clarified. “Why is that a thing that excites guys? Being with a virgin, I mean.” She asked.

I shrugged. “We like to defile the pure.” I joked. “I really don’t know it’s kind of a boon to our ego’s to know that we’re the first guy to be with that girl.” I explained. “The two guys you were with, were you little with them?” I asked.

“One, yes. The other guy wasn’t into it, so we didn’t include it in the mix.” She answered. “That guy turned out to be a mistake.” She added.

“How so?” I asked.

She shook her head. “I don’t want to answer that.” She said, a pall coming over her face.

I nodded. “Okay, sorry.” I said.

“Don’t worry about it.” She said, her mood brightening again. “Have you ever made any mistakes when it comes to girls?” she asked.

I nodded. “With my first girlfriend.” I said.

“What happened there?” she asked.

I sighed. “Well, I was seventeen, and we’d just recently had sex for the first time and we both wanted to experiment with other positions and stuff.” I explained. “Anyway, one night we tried anal sex, and the next day she called and told me that she was, umm bleeding.” I said, unsure of how to say that particular part.

“Like from her butt?” she asked with a smirk.

I nodded. “Yeah, she was bleeding from her butt.”

Skye started laughing. “Oh no.” she said between giggles.

“Yeah. So anyway, I wanted to be a caring boyfriend so I went and got her some flowers.” I said. “And a card.” I added.

New laughter started from Skye. “What did the card say?” she asked, trying to quell her laughing.

“Get well soon.” I said.

That was it, Skye was gone after that. She began to laugh hysterically and tears started forming in her eyes.

“It’s not funny.” I said between laughs of my own. “She apparently didn’t think it was very sensitive to her situation and she broke up with me.” I added.

Skye was still unable to control her laughter, she’d started holding onto the counter to keep herself from falling to the floor. “Aww, that’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.” She said between gasps for air. “I wouldn’t have dumped you.” She said as she came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“It wasn’t my fault that the store didn’t have a card for that particular occasion.” I said. “I did the best with what they had.” I added.

Skye started laughing again. “I’m sure that ‘Sorry I made your ass bleed.’ cards would sell like hot cakes if they existed. That has to be a huge untapped market.” She said with a fresh fit of giggles.

We sat down to dinner some time later, the lasagna smelled fantastic, and Skye had opened a bottle of wine for us to enjoy with dinner. We sat and ate, enjoying the food and drink, and most importantly the company. By the time we’d finished eating Skye looked like she hadn’t used silverware to eat at all. She had bits of tomato sauce on her chin and the edges of her mouth, and her shirt was riddled with tomato sauce spots.

“Is any of that intentional?” I asked gesturing to the stains.

She looked down and blushed. “Sadly, no.” she said. “I think I’ve had so much practice eating like a baby that I can’t help it anymore.” She said as she wiped at the spots on her shirt with her napkin.

“Do you want some help with that?” I asked.

She stopped wiping at her shirt and looked up at me, and then she nodded slowly. I got up from my chair and walked to the kitchen. I grabbed a dish towel and got it wet in the sink and then went to her and knelt down in front of her and began dabbing at the spots of tomato sauce.

“You were a very good girl today.” I told her as my dabbing reached the spot on her shirt just above her nipple.

She shuddered and looked at me hungrily. “Was I?” she asked.

I nodded and changed my dabbing to gently circular strokes. “Yes you were.” I told her.

She put her hands on my shoulders and stared into my eyes. “Let’s see if we can’t change that.” She said before she leapt off the chair toward me entrusting me to catch her.

I did catch her, and then I hoisted her and myself up as we started kissing each other passionately like we had earlier that day. I supported her butt with my left arm and removed her shirt with some help from her and my right. Then she pushed away from me gently and looked down.

“I’m wet.” She said sheepishly.

I smiled at her. “You’re gonna get a whole lot wetter.” I told her, impressed with myself for coming up with such a sexy line.

She giggled. “I’m sure I will, but that isn’t what I meant.” She said. “I meant my diaper is wet.” She clarified, choosing her words carefully, afraid of turning me off.

“Is that going to be a problem for what we’re planning on doing?” I asked.

She shook her head. “It isn’t for me, I just thought I’d make you aware.” She said.

“Thanks for the heads up.” I said before I resumed kissing her and we headed back to the bedroom.

Re: Nocturnal Emotions (Chapter 9 Posted 7/17/11)

OK, the “sorry I made your ass bleed” bit was hilarious. Please tell me that wasn’t taken from real life!

Oh yeah, this story continues to impress.