No Regrets
Chapter 4
The bright light shining through the cabin’s windows forced Maria’s tired eyes to open far earlier than she was used to. Still groggy, she slowly lifted her head from her pillow and willed her body to sit down on the bed beneath her. She stared into the wooden wall on the other side of the room for a few seconds before realizing where she was. Quickly glancing over to Amy, Maria was relieved to find she was still sleeping. How she was able to sleep with the sun blaring in her face was a complete mystery, though. Not knowing what else to do, Maria began waiting for the girl to wake up; staring at her intently in suspense. After a while, Amy began moaning in her sleep, most likely because of the urine on her bedsheets. For a split second, Maria sympathized with her; knowing from experience that waking up in a wet bed wasn’t a pleasant experience. The feeling faded quickly, though, as Maria noticed the small girl’s eyes beginning to open.
“Hey, are you awake?” Maria put on her best voice of concern “You were groaning in your sleep, is something wrong?”
Amy seemed to pause for a brief moment before a look of panic made its way onto her face. It was an expression Maria had never seen her make before; her blue eyes widened like inflating balloons, and her mouth was frozen, refusing to arch either up or down. She could have easily been mistaken for a statue were she not biting the tips of her fingernails; probably a nervous habit she had.
“Did something happen?” Maria tried to hold back a smile as she slowly approached Amy, knowing full well what she was about to ‘discover.’
“N-no! It’s nothing!” Amy tried desperately to hide her shameful display, hastily scrunching her sheets up towards her body.
“Did you…” Maria paused, trying her best to act surprised “Did you wet the bed?”
Maria expected Amy to deny the accusation blatantly; to refuse to admit she could do any wrong. That kind of behavior was typical for people who wear a ‘holier than thou’ facade. In kindergarten, for instance, when Kiana accidentally hit Maria in the head with a soccer ball, instead of apologizing for the mistake, she insisted that it was Maria’s fault for getting in the way. However, Amy did not get defensive. She didn’t start yelling. She didn’t start denying. She didn’t start blaming. Much to Maria’s shock, Amy was crying. Water poured out from the girl’s eyes, running down her cheeks as she produced a vocal, unfiltered wail that completely engulfed the confined space of the cabin. It was an outburst of emotion that Maria couldn’t have hoped to prepare for. She didn’t know what to do, she’d never been in this kind of situation before.
“Uhh…it’s ok.” Maria attempted to comfort Amy, extending a hand towards her.
This, however, only resulted in more mewling as the small girl nudged her body away from Maria and buried her head in her urine-soaked sheets. It was getting to the point where if Maria didn’t do something quickly, someone would probably hear Amy’s cries and blame her. Taking a deep breath, Maria sat on Amy’s bed and gently placed her hand on the crying girl’s back through the covers.
“Really, it’s fine.” Maria calmly shushed Amy while slowly rubbing her hand up and down her back. “If you’re worried about me telling someone, I won’t. Besides, I-” Maria bit her lip and focused her eyes away from Amy, she could feel her cheeks turning bright red “I also have… problems wetting the bed, sometimes.”
Amy stopped crying. Slowly, she poked her head out from under the sheets and looked at Maria. Her eyes were red, and the area below her nose was covered in snot. Her once perfect chestnut hair was messy and knotted, jumbled into disorganized clumps atop her head.
“R-really?” her voice was scratchy and weak. Her eyes were wide, like those of a child and a small strand of hair obscured part of her face. Honestly, she looked kind of adorable. Maria had to fight the urge to pinch her cute, freckled cheeks. If she was acting, it was definitely worthy of an Oscar.
“Yeah. I started when I was nine after my dad got arrested.” Maria paused, her voice shifted to a more solemn tone after realizing what she was saying. It was true for the most part. Only, she technically stopped having constant night time accidents when she was 12, but she still woke up to a wet bed every now and then.
“I’m so sorry.” Amy sat back up, her sheets still draped over her head. “What did he do?”
“I don’t want to talk about it!” Maria snapped at Amy for the first time since the incident in class. She dug her fingers into the bed, fiercely clutching onto it. It was none of her business.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. It’s none of my business” it was as if Amy read her mind.
The small girl wiped the snot from her nose with her hand in a very childish way, at this point, her behavior was kind of unsettling. Was she really a 16 year old? Maria watched intently Amy got out of bed and gathered up her sheets, bawling them up together. The tears in her eyes were starting to dry, and the only thing that remained of her runny nose was a few sniffles here and there.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do about these sheets,” Amy announced suddenly “every night it seems to be getting worse.”
“Wait,” Amy’s announcement was enough to bring Maria back down to Earth, “how often does this kind of thing happen to you?”
“Almost every night.” Amy’s voice was quiet and bashful. Maria noted how she hunched her shoulders as she said it, as if she were a turtle, trying to retreat into her shell.
Maria blinked for a moment, completely baffled by what Amy was saying.
She already wets the bed? She didn’t until I made her last night, was that a fluke? More importantly, why is she telling me this? Does she feel obligated? Why not just call me a bedwetter and tell everyone? Is she afraid to because she thinks I’m going to tell everyone she wet the bed last night? If that’s the case, why tell me that she does it on a daily basis?
“I got it!” Amy suddenly burst out, scaring Maria half to death. “I’m going to take my sheets into the shower with me!”
“What?” Maria asked confused, having no idea what Amy was boasting about.
“I can’t exactly sleep with sheets drenched in pee. The only way I can think to clean them without anybody finding out is to wash them with me in the shower. They’ll be wet, but at least they’ll be clean.”
“Ok…” Maria questioned why she was being told this.
“I’m going to put the sheets in my bag, and I need you to pass it under the shower curtain, so it doesn’t look suspicious. I’ll tell you when to do it, so you don’t have to worry about that.”
“Oh,” Maria didn’t get exactly what Amy wanted, but she figured asking would only lead to more questions “sure.”
“Thanks.” Amy’s look of relief seemed to fade as a bright red glow enveloped her cheeks. “Um…could you turn around for a minute, I’ve gotta change out of my pajamas.”
Almost immediately, Maria turned around and clenched her eyes shut. She had no interest in seeing Amy naked and would rather avoid an image that would haunt her for the rest of her life. After a few moments, it was over, and she was free to turn around.
“Alright, let’s do this!” Amy announced cheerfully as she and Maria made their way out the door; both of them carrying their overnight bags.
On their way to the bathroom, Maria couldn’t help but notice Amy was wearing a solid color T-shirt, which, of course, like everything else in her wardrobe, was pink.
“What is your obsession with that color?” Maria blurted the question out in what was meant to be a whisper but ended up being considerably louder.
“I just like pink.” Amy’s statement was confident and matter-of-fact. It was clear that for whatever reason, the color meant a great deal to her. “Why do you dress in black so much?”
“I don’t know, I just do.” Maria found that so weird. Everyone had a favorite color, but more often than not, they didn’t know why. With something like ice cream, you can explain your preference based on how it tastes. How were you supposed to explain why you like a particular color?
“Yeah, black is Carla’s favorite color too. Maybe you could use that as a starting point, she did say she would wait for me at the bathroom area this morning.”
Maria’s thoughts of color theory were completely dissolved when she heard Amy mention the ‘C’ word. Just being compared to that woman made Maria sick.
Maria didn’t have long to let her sickly feeling settle in, however, as the bathroom was right in front of them. The two girls were relieved to see only a few stragglers remaining, as the majority of people had probably finished getting ready hours ago.
As Amy entered the shower furthest away from the entrance, Maria stood by, leaning against the wall, folding her arms. Upon receiving the signal from Amy, she discreetly kicked the bag under the curtain. A few moments later, the bag reappeared by Maria’s feet. Listening to the water fall from the shower head, Maria began tapping her fingers against the wall, wishing she had brought cigarettes with her. She hadn’t had one since friday, and it was beginning to take its toll. She was fidgety, and her mouth felt really dry; as much as her smokes helped her put up with life’s bullshit, she had to admit, the withdrawal symptoms almost made her want to quit.
“Why are you just standing there like that. You look like a drug dealer.”
Caught off guard, Maria nearly jumped back from shock when she realized Carla was talking to her. She had been so caught up in her own thoughts that she didn’t even notice the black haired girl approach her. Although she wasn’t happy to see her dumb grin in the slightest, Maria supposed that this was the perfect opportunity to get under Carla’s skin.
“I’ll have you know, I’m doing this for my friend, Amy,” Maria was grinning from ear to ear in an almost devilish manner, “she asked me to stand here so I could help her out with a personal problem.”
Almost as if on cue, the water in the shower switched off, signaling to Maria that it was time to send the bag back. Reveling in Carla’s confused expression as she once again kicked the bag under the curtain, Maria continued to smile snarkily.
“Is this a drug deal? I was joking before, but I swear if you are giving drugs to that sweet little girl, I’m going to ki-”
Carla’s angry declaration was cut off by Maria bursting out in a series of giggles and laughs. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It was good to know she wasn’t the only petty person at camp. Was Carla seriously that jealous? She had to realize that Maria selling drugs at a school camping trip was utterly illogical, right? Even if she did sell drugs, or even used them for that matter, it would be so easy to get caught while under the watchful eye of at least seven adults. Carla just couldn’t comprehend the idea of Maria and Amy being friends, so instead, she decided to make up some paranoid bullshit to try and justify Maria’s behavior.
“I can assure you, that’s not the case.” Amy emerged from the shower with soaking wet hair. She must have also found the situation funny, as she was also giggling. “Go easy on her, Carla, she really was just helping me out.”
“With what?” Carla asked quizzically, facing Amy with a look of doubt and concern.
“It’s private.” Amy’s voice suddenly turned quiet, though, she was still giggling a little.
“If you say so.” Carla seemed like she wanted to pry more, but Maria couldn’t be completely certain. “So, last night, did she do anything to you?”
Maria tensed up. Even though she was sure she got away with making Amy wet herself with nobody noticing, Carla’s wording still made her nervous. What did she mean by ‘do anything to you?’ The wording was awfully specific.
“Nah,” Amy’s response made Maria sigh in relief “in fact, she actually helped me out with another problem earlier this morning.”
“Really?” Carla glanced at Maria, making her feel uncomfortable. Her deep brown eyes felt like they were digging their way into Maria’s soul.
“Uh huh.” Apparently, Amy’s cheerful reassurance was all Carla needed to hear, as she seemed to ease up a bit.
Crossing her legs while still leaning against the wall, Maria made a terrifying realization. She forgot she was wearing a goodnite. Without any hesitation, Maria grabbed her bag and quickly entered an open bathroom stall. Nearly slamming the door shut, she could barely process what Carla was saying to her.
“Hey! What the hell?”
“S-sorry, Maria sputtered out “I’ll be out in a minute.”
She pulled her pants down to examine the damage. Thankfully, the goodnite successfully absorbed all of her blood without issue. Maria took it off and crumpled it into a ball before placing it into the women’s waste container. With a bit of hesitation, she grabbed a baby wipe from her bag and cleaned up any excess blood before pulling on another goodnite. She then proceeded to pull on another pair of pants as fast as she could to try and ignore her padded underwear. With the hard part out of the way, Maria began taking off her pajama shirt, however, while it was over her head, she accidentally tripped over her bag and forcibly slammed into the door. The lock on the door must have been off balanced, because, to her horror, it swung open, revealing her bare top half to Amy and Carla.
Maria just sat and stared in silence at the two girls. They looked as equally as surprised by the situation and did nothing but blink at her for the longest time. Thankfully, they were the only three in the bathroom by that point, but that didn’t stop Maria from being overwhelmed by shame. She should have checked the lock after going in or moved her bag out of the way, there were so many ways she could have avoided the predicament she was currently in.
“Are you wearing a…” Carla’s snickers broke the silence of the room “You still wear…”
Maria’s face turned white. She opened her mouth to say something, but the only thing that came out was a tiny squeal. She couldn’t believe this was happening. Why was this happening? Was it some kind of karmic punishment? Is this how the world was punishing her? Maria wanted to get away, she felt herself slowly maneuver into a fetal position and almost instinctively buried her face into her knees.
“You’re in high school, right?” Carla was still going, her giggles having turned into full-on laughter. “So why on Earth are you still wearing a training bra?”
What?
“You’d think someone your age would be in something more ‘adult’ by now.” Carla continued, still dying of laughter.
So, she didn’t notice my goodnite? That’s a relief, but, does it really make a difference? I never thought having to wear a sports bra was that big of a deal, but I guess, I was wrong. It’s apparently worth the same humiliation as being caught wearing a diaper. So what’s there to be relieved about, moron? Nothing. You still got caught wearing babyish underwear. Nothing’s changed.
Maria tightened her grip around her knees and began to cry, hoping nobody would notice and increase her embarrassment ever further.
“Ok, that’s enough, Carla.” Amy’s voice sounded sympathetic, yet stern. It was as if she were reprimanding a child for making fun of their younger sibling for having an accident. “I don’t think Maria finds it very funny.”
“Aww, come on Amy,” Carla protested in between chuckles “when’s the last time you got to see a high schooler dressed like a little kid? You gotta admit, it’s pretty funny.”
“I said that’s enough.” Maria wished she had seen Amy’s face to read her expression. Her response sounded like a strange combination of disappointment, anger, and maybe even a little offense.
The two continued going back and forth for a little while until Carla agreed she had taken it too far, gave a half-assed apology, and left the bathroom. Maria was still in the fetal position, listening to everything, but not daring to move. It was like her body was in lockdown mode.
“I’m sorry that happened.” Amy’s voice was really soothing “Lot of emotional stuff happening this morning” she joked. Maria didn’t laugh. “Look, you’re no-” as soon as Amy’s fingers made contact with Maria’s back, her hand was grabbed, causing her squeal.
“Don’t touch me!” Maria shouted, looking up at Amy with a combination of anger and fear. “I don’t need a bitch like you to comfort me! I hate you!”
Maria couldn’t help herself. Everything was just too much. She wanted to calm down and tell Amy she didn’t mean it, but all she could do was scream. Her body felt like it was shutting down. She was shaking and felt dizzy, like everything was moving at hyperspeed. Her chest felt like it was being weighed down by a ton of bricks; she couldn’t breathe. Tears and snot enveloped her face, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop crying.
“Maria,” Amy began slowly “you need to take slow, deep breaths.”
“Shut up! Stay away from me, you manipulative bitch!”
“You’re only hurting yourself. I promise, everything’s ok, nobody’s going to do anything to hurt you.” Amy’s voice was soft and calming.
Maria did her best to steady her breathing, it was hard when her body was telling her she didn’t have enough air, but she managed to calm herself a little. She started to feel a bit better. Everything slowed down. Her head still hurt, and her body was still numb, but she managed to stop crying and shaking.
“I-” Maria began to speak but stopped after making a horrible realization.
She felt…wet.
Unfolding her legs, Maria was shocked to find a large dark spot on the seat of her pants. She was even more alarmed to discover a warm puddle of yellow liquid pooled beneath her. Did she really not realize she was peeing? Worse yet, did she not even notice afterward? She hadn’t had a daytime accident since she was six, and even then, it wasn’t really an ‘accident.’ Maria felt so ashamed; she was completely aware of Amy’s presence, which only served to further her humiliation. What must Amy think of her? She just watched a 16 year old girl have a panic attack and piss herself. She probably thought Maria was disgusting, either that or autistic. Her chest started hurting again.
“It’s alright,” Amy calmly stated as if she could sense Maria’s distress “you have your clothes with you, getting cleaned up will be easy.”
“I-I can’t…” Maria continued to sit there, stuttering; terrified to move a muscle.
“Hey,” Amy continued angelically “accidents happen, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I can’t move.” Maria could barely sputter out the statement, resulting in it being said as a quiet whimper.
“Do you want me to get Ms. Aster?”
“No!” Maria sudden shout was as much of a surprise to her as it was to Amy. “She can’t know! Please, don’t tell her!”
“Well…I don’t know what else…” Amy’s voice sounded puzzled “unless you want…do you want me to help you?”
Maria was silent for a long time. It was clear Amy thought of her as a child. A child who needed to be comforted and changed when they had an accident. Maria wasn’t mad, though. Why wouldn’t Amy treat her like a child? What has she done to prove she isn’t a child? All she did was cry and piss her pants, like a little kid. Of course Amy would see her as one.
“Ok…”
“All-alright then…” Amy seemed a bit taken back by Maria’s response, “Could you try to stand up…please?”
Maria compiled, it took a while, but she managed to make herself stand up, her legs wobbling like a baby gazelles’.
“I-I’m going to take off your pants now, so, um, don’t freak out, ok?”
Maria stood in silence; a blank expression on her face as Amy unbuttoned her pants. There was no point putting up a fight. She was done. She had no tears left to shed. Everything was white. Amy slid Maria’s pants down, revealing her soggy, bloody goodnite.
“Oh…” Amy’s voice sounded more sympathetic than anything as she looked up at Maria with her two crystal blue orbs.
“There’s wipes in my bag.”
It didn’t take Amy long to find the wipes in question. She also took out another goodnite. Killing two birds with one stone, I suppose. After disposing of the sodden diaper, Amy began cleaning Maria proper. As the blue-eyed girl’s foreign hand made contact with her legs, Maria couldn’t help but flinch back a little. Amy assured her everything was fine, but she couldn’t help but keep her eyes shut for the rest of the process. The smaller girl proceeded to thoroughly clean the larger one, making sure to leave no wet patches. Maria had a little trouble stepping into the new goodnite Amy held out for her; she had to hang onto the toilet paper holder in order to not lose her balance. Upon feeling Amy pull the garment up her waist, she finally opened her eyes.
“There we go.” Amy’s voice was still timid, but Maria thought she sounded a little excited as well. “All clean.”
Maria still felt dirty.
Amy helped Maria finish getting dressed. She had her step into a clean pair of jeans and even buttoned them up for her. She then proceeded to take care of Maria’s top half. Amy had her raise her arms so she could slip off her orange polka dot sports bra; seeing it now, Maria couldn’t help but feel a little self-conscious about how childish it was. Funny, Amy was essentially changing her diaper, and that was the thing she found childish and embarrassing. Maybe because it started this whole thing? Maria didn’t know. Amy didn’t seem to care at all though, as she replaced it with a light blue and white striped bra without even batting an eye. The last thing Amy did was slip a black ‘Talking Heads’ T-shirt on Maria and clean up the puddle of urine on the ground. Then, just like that, everything was back to normal.
“Thanks…”
“No problem.” Amy gave a weak smile.
“About the whole diaper thing…You see…I don’t actually ne-”
“It’s ok, I get it. I saw a pair of panties in your bag; the pull-ups are probably ‘just in case,’ right?”
Maria wanted to tell her that the whole thing was a big misunderstanding; that she was only wearing the goodnite because she didn’t bring any pads with her. Though, thinking about it, telling her that could lead to an even worse situation. If Amy told anyone about what happened, her thinking Maria had an actual problem could actually soften the blow a bit. People hearing that a teenager with a bladder issue pissed themself would sound much better than them hearing a fully potty trained 16 year old pissed themself. Although, if people thought she wore diapers, there could potentially be another ‘incident,’ like the one she just had with Carla. Either way, people would never look at her the same way again. After a brief moment of deliberation, Maria finally made a decision.
“Y-yeah.”
“Well…” Amy’s pause caused Maria to panic a bit, did she screw up somehow? “At least you don’t have to worry about buying pads.”
Maria chuckled.
The rest of the morning went by pretty quickly. After being reprimanded for their lateness by Ms. Aster, the two girls ate breakfast and cleaned their dishes. They went on a nature hike with the rest of the class where the teacher pointed out various plants and animals to them. It was actually pretty cool. Maria got to see a bunch of animals she never saw in person before, including a deer. Afterward, the class was instructed to change into their swimsuits for an aquatic scavenger hunt in one of the lakes by the camp’s entrance. Maria watched as the other students swam around, showing different shells and mollusks to Ms. Aster while she just sat off to the side, far away from everybody else. To her surprise, Amy sat next to her.
“Hey, Mars Bars!” The brunette girl greeted her with a smile.
“Mars bars?” Maria was confused. “You mean like the chocolate?”
“Uh-huh! It’s my nickname for you because you’re so sweet.” Amy made a heart with her hands and smiled, her pearly white teeth glimmering in the sun.
Maria smiled back.
“You don’t have to do this stupid thing either?” She questioned Amy curiously, motioning her eyes toward the lake.
“Yeah. It looks fun, but I can’t.” Amy looked disappointed.
“It’s ok. I can’t swim either.”
Amy didn’t say anything. The two girls just sat there, watching the other kids splash and yell. Amy was right, it did look fun, but Maria would never admit that.
“So…” Amy finally broke the silence “about your pull-ups…” Maria’s face turned red. She had hoped she could get through the rest of the day without having to talk about what was in her pants. “How often do you have accidents during the day? ”
“Not often.” Maria answered the question meekly, completely embarrassed by the situation. She hoped that answer would be satisfying enough so Amy would stop playing detective.
“I only ask because…” Amy unfortunately continued “because you had one last night too. I-I heard you freaking out about it in the bathroom.” Maria hugged her legs together. Her face felt (and probably looked) like a tomato. That must have been why Amy was acting so weird last night, she thought Maria pissed herself. Thinking back to what she said when the incident happened, Maria felt her cheeks grow even redder, she sure as hell made it sound like that was what happened. “It’s ok,” Amy’s voice was reassuring “I know it’s not your fault.” Her eyes were soft and understanding, she looked like an older sister. “But…you can’t get so worked up over small things like that. This morning, I thought you were going to have a heart attack, it was scary.”
“It…” Maria hesitated, unsure of how Amy would respond to what she was about to say. “I don’t like being touched, ok.” Maria didn’t know how common her phobia was, for all she knew, it could sound as silly as the fear of cotton balls did to her. “You touched my back,” she continued, cautiously “but that usually doesn’t cause me to freak out that much. I was already stressed out from what your friend said earlier, and then you touched me, and then I guess, I just sorta…lost it, I-I don’t know.”
“I-I don’t understand,” Amy’s words were cutting, but expected. “you let me cle-” she quickly corrected herself, obviously trying not to embarrass Maria any further “help you earlier.” It was a thoughtful gesture, but overall meaningless, the damage was already done. Maria felt like her cheeks were on fire.
“Y-Yeah.” Maria replied shakily. She hoped Amy would stop asking questions soon. “I let you do that, I didn’t let you touch my back, you just did it, unexpectedly.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t know.” Amy looked to the ground in an almost dramatic way, it was hard to tell if she was acting, or being serious. “Does it have something to do with your da-”
“Can we talk about something else?” Maria cut the girl off, biting her lip. The conversation didn’t need to go in that direction. The fact Amy would even try to bring it up was almost infuriating.
“S-sure.” The other girl seemed to be taken back a bit at first, but she soon rebounded with what Maria could have sworn was a naughty smirk “Have you ever…you know….” her grin widened “gone all the way before?”
“Uh…no…” Maria was a bit surprised Amy of all people would ask her that question. “I’ve never had a boyfriend, or girlfriend, or anything like that before. I guess I’m just…not into all that kind of stuff? There’s a word for it…”
“Asexual?”
“Yeah, that.” Maria contemplated a bit before deciding to ask what she wanted to ask. “How about you?”
“Oh…” Amy’s cheeks flushed suddenly “well, I got close once, really close, but it didn’t end up happening.” Amy was facing the ground, it was obvious the question brought up some kind of old baggage. “Bad question.” She sat in silence for a bit, while Maria just stared at her, not being one for topic starters herself. “Oh!” Amy gleefully smiled after a few minutes, looking Maria with her sparkling blue eyes, “I wanted to tell you that you have great taste in music!” She gestured at Maria’s shirt.
Maria blinked at her. “You listen to classic rock?” Amy had to be joking. There was no way someone like her could know who ‘Talking Heads’ were.
“All of the time!” Amy nearly squealed. “I love it! It just has this sound that modern music can’t match!”
“Really?” Maria was still in disbelief. “What’s your favorite metal band?” She crossed her arms, waiting for Amy to stubble with her words and catch her in the act.”
“Ugh. Don’t make me choose. Metallica is sooooo good, but if you were to put a gun to my head, I’d have to go with AC/DC. How ‘bout you?”
“Uhh…Black Sabbath.” Maria was at a loss for words. The fact that Amy did, in fact, like a genre of music that was so… not Amy was bewildering. This cute girl, who was obsessed with ponies and the color pink was also into music that preaches the dark truths about reality. How? Maybe it was like a favorite color and just couldn’t be explained. Maybe Amy liked classic rock because she liked it, and there was nothing else to it. It was just so weird how the same person could like two things that are seemingly polar opposites of each other.
“Ooh. I never even thought of them. You must really know your stuff.”
Maria was actually having a great time talking to Amy. She never got to talk to anyone about, well, anything before, especially not something she was so passionate about. The two girls went back and forth, discussing different songs and bands, as much as Amy praised her for knowing her stuff, Maria had to admit Amy definitely knew what she was talking about. While talking, however, Maria realized her bottom area felt really uncomfortable and sweaty, causing her to pick at her goodnite a bit. Amy seemed a bit out of it, too. She was staring at Maria’s pants.
“Um…” Maria started, a bit uncomfortable “what are you do-”
In nearly an instant, Maria was caught off guard as Amy sprang up and grabbed her by the wrist. She was stronger than she looked; keeping her hold tight as she proceeded to lift Maria off the ground and pull her away from the lake.
“What are you doing!” Maria screamed in panic. “Let go of me!”
No matter how hard she wailed, Amy wouldn’t let go. She seemed almost fixated as she continued to drag Maria towards the front entrance. Her face was flat and scrunched up a bit. Was she mad? Did Maria do something to make her angry? What? Why was she doing this?
Finally reaching the main entrance building, Amy veered into a room, which Maria recognized as public restroom; much like the one at their campsite. Not knowing what Amy was planning, Maria continued to scream like a wild animal, she unclenched her jaw and bit Amy’s hand with all her might. Even though she drew blood, the other girl still did not waver and forced Maria into one of the bathroom stalls, locking the door. She pulled Maria’s pants and goodnite down and pushed her onto the toilet.
“Dang girl, that hu-” Amy didn’t have a chance to finish her thought. Almost instantaneously, Maria balled up her fist and struck her in the face.
“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Maria was furious. “I just told you I don’t like people touching me! Are you retarded or something?!”
“I-I just…” Amy was holding onto the cheek Maria punched with her bleeding hand. “you looked like you were going to have an accident and I…”
“Two questions.” Maria buttoned her pants up as she glared at Amy, clearly not satisfied with her answer. “One, why the hell would you think something like that?” Amy opened her mouth to speak, but she was quickly cut off. “Two, even if you can give a reasonable answer to number one, what made you think you had the right to grab my arm and drag me here?”
Amy began tearing up, obviously a ploy to try to get Maria to feel bad for her. Maria, however, was fresh out of sympathy. Why should she have to feel bad for Amy? Amy is the one who should apologize to her. She blatantly disregarded Maria’s boundaries and literally did the one thing she was told never to do. She was the one who made Maria feel bad, so why should Maria have to apologize?
“I-I couldn’t let you have an accident.” The brown haired girl mustered the sentence out. “I thought you were going to pee yourself and I just couldn’t let that happen.”
“Even if did think I was going to wet myself, which I wasn’t by the way, you still had no rig-”
“I don’t want you to be in diapers forever!” The almost feral scream that Amy let out took even Maria by surprise. “You can’t afford to just wet yourself because you ‘forgot’ or you ‘took to long to go,’ like I thought you were about to!”
“Why do you even care?” Maria was also shouting now. “Why does me wearing diapers bother you so much?”
“Because your situation is so easy to avoid! You’ve been wetting since you’re nine, so the fact that you still have control over your bladder at all is amazing! I don’t want you to slip up and start forgetting how to use the bathroom! I don’t want you to start wearing real diapers! I don’t want you to go through the embarrassment of trying to hide them!”
“But why do you even care about that stuff?” The anger in Maria’s voice was starting to falter.
“Because you’re my friend!” Amy took Maria’s hands into her own. “And I don’t want my friend to suffer!” Amy’s voice calmed down, leaving a tearful, somber one in its place. “Please. I’m sorry I grabbed you like that, but I just really wanted you to make it to the bathroom.”
Maria’s eyes shifted down to Amy’s fingers which were entangled in her own. There wasn’t a blemish in sight. Her skin appeared to be smooth and soft, almost as if she were made of porcelain. Her short fingernails were on level, none of them being longer or shorter than the others. They seemed to be perfect, however, feeling them for herself, Maria knew this wasn’t the case. Amy’s fingertips were covered in hard, rough calluses that could only be seen if you knew they were there; rugged flaws on otherwise perfect surfaces.
“S-sorry.” Amy pulled her hands away quickly, preemptively ending Maria’s examination of them. “I know you don’t like being touched. I-I’ll try to be better about that in the future.”
Both girls had calmed down by this point. Maria was standing there in contemplation over what had happened. Amy genuinely seemed to care about her, something that was was hard to take in. The only other person she knew who regarded her like that with was her mother. It was confusing.
“It’s fine,” was the response she eventually decided to go with “just, next time you think something’s going to happen, tell me first.”
“Right!” Amy wiped the tears from her eyes and forced the corners of her mouth into a smile.
Maria returned the smile with one of her own. Exiting the stall, she took a few paper towels and handed them to Amy so that she could wipe her face. The smaller girl seemed to appreciate this gesture, as the forced upturn of her lips became totally natural. Maria opened the door, preparing to leave the bathroom with Amy, only to be greeted by the scowling face of a taller woman.
“What are you girls doing?”
“W-what do you mean?” The sudden appearance of Ms. Aster caught Maria off guard.
“I heard someone screaming bloody murder in here.” She turned from Maria to Amy, her stern exterior seeming to soften up a bit. “What did she do to you, honey? Did she hurt you?”
Maria rolled her eyes. Of course, the teacher would think she hurt Amy. There was absolutely no way Amy could have done something to her. That would be ridiculous. I mean, she’s just a cute, innocent cinnamon bun. Well, she kind of was, but that was beside the point.
“No! Not at all!” Amy’s quick and non-defensive response caught Maria off guard a little. “She didn’t do anything. She was the one screaming because I violated her personal space. I dragged her here against her will. We were playing around, but I took it to far.”
“Is that so?” Maria felt the teacher’s stern glare enter her soul. Why were people’s eyes so intimidating? “Well, Ms. Ross, I understand how having your boundaries violated could startle you, however, there was no need to cause such an outburst.”
Of course, I still get berated even though I’m the victim. Maria folded her arms and turned her head away. Amy lying about why she brought me here was a relief, though, so I don’t have to worry about that.
“You’re right. I overreacted, it was an honest mistake on Amy’s part.” Maria hoped Ms. Aster wouldn’t notice her biting her lip. “There’s no way she could have known I didn’t like people touching me, so please don’t punish her. It wasn’t her fault.”
Maria could have sworn she saw a tiny smile on her teacher’s face. It was weird, Ms. Aster was never happy.
“I was planning on giving you both a significant grade reduction for this little outburst, however, because you had a genuine excuse for it and were mature enough to admit your wrongdoings, I’ll let it slide this once. Now come on, we’re just about to start our Florida fauna trivia game.”
Maria could feel Amy’s sigh of relief. Apparently, she was one of those people who were afraid of getting bad grades, either that, or she was afraid of what would happen if she did get bad grades. To a certain extent, Maria could empathize with the ladder.
After one of the weirdest days of her life, full of confusing and embarrassing moments, Maria was more than ready for it to be over. She practically threw herself on her bed, ready to fall asleep right there and then, before realizing that was practically impossible in hot, sweaty leather. Forcing herself up, she opened her bag to retrieve her pajamas. While going through her stuff, she paused at the sight of the goodnites she brought.
Oh shit. You almost forgot to offer Amy a goodnite, dumbass! She’s already in her pajamas, if she didn’t have to make her bed, she’d probably be asleep by now!
“Hey, Amy…” Maria started, getting the blue-eyed girls attention, ready to follow through with the next step in her plan.
“Hm?” Amy’s eyes locked with Maria’s. For the second time that day, Maria was gazing into those entrancing blue marbles. They were so innocent, so pure. It hurt to look at them, it felt wrong, like committing a crime. They reminded Maria of everything that had happened that day, all the thoughts she was trying to push aside: how upset Amy was when she found out the bed was wet, how Amy helped her calm down when she had a panic attack, the cute nickname Amy gave her, the feeling of Amy’s fingers. Everything came back.
“N-never mind.”
Idiot. How stupid can you be? You spent the whole day with her, talked to her, got to know her, and yet, you still thought about following your dumbass plan. You should know by now that she’s nothing like Kiana, so what the hell? The thought of her not being able to understand her own actions filled Maria with rage; not knowing where to direct her frustration, she threw the closest thing in her vicinity. Oh shit.
Maria watched in horror as the contents of her bag flew all over the cabin after hitting the wall. She stood there for a moment, trying to process what happened.
“Are you ok?!” Amy’s voice was frantic. “Are you mad? Did I do something wrong?”
“No!” Maria was immediately released from her spell. “You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s my fault.”
Maria picked up her bag and began tossing stuff in at random. From the corner of her eye, she saw that Amy was helping. She really was the sweetest girl in the world.
“Om my gosh! Your teddy bear is so cute!”
Maria turned to look at Amy who was now holding a golden teddy bear. She forgot she brought that with her, she didn’t even remember what it was for. The way Amy was looking at it, though, made it apparent that she had fallen in love with it.
“You can have it if you want.”
“What?! Really?!” Amy’s eyes lit up. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I love stuffies so much! I have a ton at home, but I’m always looking for more!”
Amy really is adorable. The small smile that briefly resided on Maria’s face turned to a frown upon feeling the familiar touch of padding. Oh right…those things.
Maria stared at the goodnite her hand caught for a good while, trying to determine whether or not to put it on. The flow had almost subsided, so she could probably go without one. On the other hand, wearing one might make Amy feel better about her bed wetting.
“You know, if it would make you feel better…” Amy’s voice was quiet, almost like a whisper “I-I could wear one too…”
“You don’t have to do that!”
“N-no, but I-I want to. I wet the bed almost every night, remember? M-maybe they could help…”
Maria didn’t know what to say. She sat flat on the floor and watched as Amy picked up a goodnite and slipped it into her own bag. It was a bizarre sight, to say the least. Despite everything that happened that day, Maria found Amy’s actions just then the weirdest.
It didn’t take long for the girls to get the cabin cleaned up and before they knew it, they were dressed for bed.
Exiting the bathroom, Maria took note of the nervous look on Amy’s face. She kept staring down at her crotch on the trip back to their cabin.
“Hey, are you ok?” Maria eventually questioned her after walking in silence for some time.
“It’s just… so light…”
“Huh?”
“Oh! No, nothing’s wrong.”
“If you say so…”
When they were about halfway there, Amy suddenly froze. Maria could tell she had been sweating, which was weird since it was a relatively cool night. Then, without any explanation, the tiny girl took off running as fast as she could, leaving Maria behind. Her hands were positioned over her crotch as if she were a three year old trying to make it to the potty on time.
What was that about?
***
Maria never got a chance to question Amy about the incident, as when she entered her cabin, she was fast asleep, wrapped up in her sheets like a cacoon. She didn’t bother asking her about it the morning after either, assuming that it was probably a private matter after giving it a bit of thought.
Waking up, it was clear that Amy had wet the bed again. The wet spot on her sheets was even bigger than before, she wasn’t kidding when she said it got worse every night. She was even wearing protection this time. Although, rather than looking horrified, like yesterday, she almost seemed relieved. Her face didn’t appear tense in the slightest.
Upon questioning her about her attitude, she gave a rather confusing response.
“Trust me. It could have been MUCH worse.”
While helping Amy clean up, Maria couldn’t take her mind off of what she said. What exactly did she mean by ‘much worse’? Was she more comfortable now that Maria knew she wet? After getting dressed and helping stuff Amy’s soiled sheets into her bag, Maria decided to stop thinking about it. Who cares what Amy meant? It wasn’t any of her business anyway.
“Give me your phone.” Amy was standing in front of Maria with her hand extended and a smile on her face. It was a little unsettling.
“Um…why?”
“I’m going to add my contact on it. Here, you can do mine.”
Amy’s phone was exactly as Maria pictured it. The pink phone case was designed with moving glitter inside of it, which, of course, was also pink. Not only that, but the small rhinestones that you would usually find on an eight year old girls pants were outlining the edges, making it look like the phone was sparkling like a diamond. The small charm hanging from the edge was also cute. It was a small, plastic figure of the pink pony character depicted on Amy’s pajamas. Taking the phone into her hand, Maria reached into her pocket to pull out her own phone. She was kind of embarrassed by how bland it was in comparison, taking note of how she never even bothered to change the plain, black case the phone came with. Nevertheless, she handed it to Amy. After a few seconds of exchanging numbers, the girls handed their phones back to each other. Maria made sure to keep the contact screen up and was rewarded with the warm smile Amy gave her. She honestly didn’t care for ‘Mars Bars’ too much, but the sentiment was still really sweet.
“Oh dang! It’s 8:30! Come on Mars Bars, we’re going to miss the closing announcements.”
And with that, Amy grabbed her bag and ran out the door, leaving Maria alone with her thoughts.
What a weird weekend.
[HR][/HR]