Re: Nightmare (Chapter 5)
Here’s the 5th chapter. Encouragement is my fuel to writing these. Criticism is always welcome.
Saul said, “I’m going to make some popcorn, what do you want to drink? Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Tea, milk, or water?”
I replied, “Pepsi sounds great.” I walked over to the couch and sat down. I looked at the screen, feeling stupid to ask what the movie was. The screen was on the movie subtitle already. I heard pop cans open, and popcorn popping. Three of my favorite things: popcorn, Pepsi, and movies. I was in my comfort zone. I think Saul did it to make up for the nightmares.
I guess it was stupid. I shouldn’t have gotten mad at him. He didn’t even know it was my dreams too. Heck, I wouldn’t know either if it were the other way around.
I was so relaxed. Saul came back with the food and announced, “Here’s your Pepsi and popcorn.” He smiled at me as he sat down. He kept the popcorn in his lap.
I said, “Thanks.” I had to scoot over by him to eat the popcorn. Saul pressed play on the movie. After a while my head ended up on his chest as his arm was on my side. The movie was hilarious. We both laughed the whole time. I had to leave to go to the restroom ten minutes in.
My stomach was a bit weird but I kept watching. I was really comfortable, until I had to get up about fifteen minutes after to use the restroom again. What was wrong with me? My bladder felt like it was going to give out at any second, so I had to run to the bathroom. Saul didn’t realize though, which was a good thing.
A half an hour later we were laughing so hard. I felt a warm feeling on my pants and looked down. Out of all things, this was one of those times you wish it was your period. Then I would have a decent excuse, but this was a two year old thing you would’ve learned early on.
I gasped, looking down at my pants. I got up, tripped a little, and ran to the bathroom. Tears fell down my face as I pulled down my pants. I wished it was my period, but I wasn’t so lucky. From rushing to stand up, there now was a dark streak down my jeans.
Saul knocked on the door, “You alright in there?”
I sniffed, “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You don’t sound like it.”
I tried being as silent as possible with my crying, but I failed to keep it from Saul. I just sat there, staring at the tub. I was thinking hard about what I could do. I didn’t have spare clothes. I didn’t really have anything with me besides my phone. I gave up after a while. I wiped my tears off my cheeks, knowing I’d have to face Saul sooner or later.
“What’s going on Heather?”
“I… well…I-I kind of…uhm…” I trailed off, I couldn’t find a right way to say that I went in my pants. I looked down and found that I was still letting out some pee into the toilet. I couldn’t even feel it. There was something wrong with me, this never happens.
“Hey, whatever you did isn’t that bad now, is it?”
“Yeah… it-it’s really bad.”
Saul cleared his throat, “Well, you can’t stay in the bathroom all day, it’s either you come out of I come in.”
My eyes shot up. He’s a teen guy. Sure, he might be 2 years older than me, but Saul-to me-is the same age as me. Saul was being so firm, I had a feeling he wasn’t going to let me stay there.
I pulled up my wet jeans, and wiped off the tears. I washed my hands, splashing water on my face. I walked up to the door. I sighed, turning the nob, seeing Saul right in front of the door. He looked furious. What did I do that he knew of? His composure wasn’t helping me at all. The tears started rolling down my face, I looked down in shame. Saul grabbed my hand, leading me back to the toilet. He began unbuttoning my jeans. What was he doing?!
"Look!"Saul pointed to my ankle as more urine rolled onto the white rug. He started pulling down my pants.
“Hey!” I whimpered, as he started gentaly pulling down my underwear. Saul pushed me onto the toilet, taking some toilet paper to put my feet on. I was lost for words.
“Shhh… Don’t worry, I’ll clean you up.” What?! No! I wanted to scream, but the only thing that came out was a loud cry.
Saul rolled down and took off my pants and underwear. I was left naked from the waist down. He didn’t look like it was a big deal, but to me it was. I just had my arms to the side in defeat. I looked at the rug. It wasn’t stained too bad. Saul took a rag and rubbed the rug. After he scrubbed it until it looked about its original color, he rolled it up and threw it by the door with my clothes.
Saul looked up and smiled, “Everything’s going to be alright.” Saul stood up and rinsed the rag. He walked back to me and kneeled down. I squirmed a little, covering my parts. The rag hit my foot.
Saul said softly, “Here, let’s get you on the tub, it’ll be easier.”
Saul picked me up by my underpits. Out of all that was happening I was surprised that Saul was actually pretty strong. In the nightmares he’s strong but I thought that would differ from the real world.
I was broken out of my thoughts as the rag moved up to my special parts. He was cleaning thoroughly, which wasn’t a good thing on my side. He got up more and more. It got more akward by the second.
I shivered a little as he pushed my hand away from covering my crotch. Saul asked, “You don’t want to smell like urine now do you?”
“I-I c-can clean mu-myself.” He looked at me like I was crazy. Saul put the rag in my hand and stared at me.
I dropped it, as he sighed. Saul picked the rag up. He moved back to the sink and rinsed it again. He turned around, looking at me up and down. I was so embarrassed. My face was so hot, and my throat was dry. I just wanted to drink something.
Saul took a step and leaned down, washing my crotch. I shifted a little, out of all this, I never realized that I shaved down there. I wanted to just splash water on my face, it was burning red. I touched it feeling how hot it was. I kept shifting my weight onto both legs. He put his hand in between my legs so he can wash by my butt. My head was swimming. How I handled it was I mostly blanked out.
He wiped around my stomach, then it was over. Or so I thought it was. Saul took my hand and had me step out of the tub. He said quietly, “I have something you can wear while I clean your clothes.” He scratched his head.
I looked at him, I don’t think I could even speak if I tried. His eyes were sympathetic. My mouth was ajar. He turned around and searched for something. I watched him, wondering what I’d be wearing.
Saul found the item on a bottom cabinet, “Aha, these should fit. You’re pretty small,I’m sure you’ll fit. These are my little cousin’s.”
I looked at the package in his hand. A brand new package of diapers was in his hands. He was serious about it too. I just gazed at the package examining what it said. They had baby Elmo prints on them.
Saul took my hand, pulling me down onto the ground. I had no actions or thoughts at all. I kept looking at him for direction. I didn’t know what to do anymore. It was out of my hands, I’d given up.
He tore the light plastic off the top, taking one white diaper out. Saul pushed me down softly, getting me to lay down. Once I was in position, he unfolded it. Saul grabbed my ankles in one hand and slid the diaper under my butt.
Through the process I couldn’t stop looking at him. I didn’t know what to do. I was lost, and he was in control. He pulled it up, as I felt the soft guards between my legs. Saul taped one side, then the other. He smiled at me, as I blinked back.
Saul picked me up, setting me on my feet. He took my hand and led me to the front room. When I began walking, I could feel the diaper every step I took. I sat Indian style on the couch, a little drowsy from the night before. Saul went to start cleaning my clothes. I watched him leave. I looked down at the ground, confused on my actions. Did I just go through the diaper change without protesting? I squinted, realizing how tired I was. I looked at the T.V. seeing the paused picture. I wanted to play it, but I didn’t really feel like moving to get the remote.
I looked around, taking in the nice furniture that I was sitting on. I never realized how much I liked the room. It was so nice and cozy. It felt like my own home. I got sad, I never had the statement of feeling lonely until now. I wanted a home full of a family. I didn’t want to make my own home full of family I wanted to join one, or be raised in one like Saul.
Saul. Where is he? I franticly turned my head to search for him. I wanted him more than ever at the moment. I don’t know why. I wanted a lot at the moment. I had nothing, I wanted something. I wanted a drink, and a blanket. I spotted a blanket; I stared at it, hoping that I’d gain telekinesis powers right at the moment and move the blanket to me. I squinted, knowing I’d have to get up. I didn’t though. I just kept looking at it.
I heard a noise from the basement. The washing machine started up. It was Saul. Footsteps became louder as I heard him climb the steps. My head turned to the hallway. I saw Saul come in the front room. Saul grinned at me, I smiled and giggled back. Ever since I went in my pants, I’ve gotten this new attachment to Saul. It’s like he was essential to my life all of a sudden.
Saul chuckled, “Are you cold?” How’d he know? I shook my head, then looked down seeing I was shivering a little crossing my arms over my chest. Saul grabbed a blanket, unfolding it and drafting it over my body. I cuddled into it, getting comfortable. The lights went off, as Saul sat to the left of me. I immediately scooted over to him, falling into his chest. He chuckled some more, as I smiled up at him. He stretched over to grab the remote from the table and played the movie. I nuzzled my head into him some more. I didn’t know anymore, my heart was leading all my actions.