N.B.A.C.G. - The Field Hockey Team (Chap 1 - 4 draft)

Nothing But A Country Girl - The Field Hockey Team

Author’s Notes: (Please read, need some thoughts, information and input).

This is going to be my shot at main stream fiction with ab/dl themes. Lately I’ve had the stupid idea that I can maybe put this up on kindle and charge like $0.05 when its done and donate all proceeds to maintenance of a community board like this one or SK… I dunno, might be interesting to trawl the kindle UA and see if diapers and TG/Teen romance are a no go. This story is already 20 pages and I haven’t made it through the first day in story… sooo it’s going to be looooong.

Anyways, originally I wrote a story called “My Real Country Family” about a girl asked to live a lie for her cousin. A friend of mine asked that I re-write and change the main character to a boy, and then have him pretend to live the same lie as a girl (thus adding another layer to it). I renamed it “Nothing But A Country Girl” and changed some fairly major plot points around. The story turned out pretty good and I got a lot of positive feedback on it.

I’ve gotten a few e-mails and requests for a sequel and on a long train ride I hammered out the basic plot and started the first few chapters for a continuation.

The problem is that this story is still very much in a rough draft and there’s a few things I’m not happy about with yet. First, the opening has way too much information. As with any sequel, trying to establish the story assuming that the reader might not have read the first one makes for an interesting challenge. I redid the opening about 5 times already, trying to set it up without losing the hook… If anyone has any input or opinions on whether or not its readable, I’d appreciate it.

Second, the cast of characters is HUGE. I’ve mapped out 19 characters already; 13 of them playing major roles. I’m cautious and a bit worried it won’t turn out well, but I also see it as sort of a challenge. J.K. Rawling managed as many and more in her Potter novels, and to make a vibrant school for the main character, I know I need a lot of characters. Hopefully they’re not coming off as too cliché though. The mean cheer-leaders vs. the social outcasts has been done many times before, but for what I wanted to accomplish, I felt it was the best method. I’d be open to ideas though for making the primary antagonists something else, but I still need them to fit into an air of superiority to maintain the struggle and issues on the main character.

Also the original story with the main character as a girl can be found on here at http://abdlstoryforum.info/forums/index.php/topic,4493.0.html and the modified version featuring a sissy can be found here in PDF http://www.foxtalestimes.com/Stories/Nothing_But_A_Country_GIrl.pdf

This sequel follows the sissy version.

Nothing But A Country Girl - The Field Hockey Team
By : CS Fox

Chapter 1

“And you’re sure you’ll be okay?” Will asked, putting a firm hand on my shoulder.

“This hot thang? She’ll be fiiiine, she’s got me with her. I’d beat up sharks for this girl,” Anna said with a grin and emphasis on girl.

I sighed. “My bag has supplies. We should be all right, we’ve both been working on our bathroom habits and the pull-ups should do.” I said finally, blushing my way through the concerned look of my pseudo father. Will gave me a hug.

In the past year my life had become some strange fiction turned reality. You can skip ahead if you like, but if you’re a drifting spirit who’s unfamiliar with the shenanigans of my life, please let me explain a little.

Just after the end of my last school year, my parents divorced. Mentally, I was a little broken. Rather then fight a lengthy custody battle over me, my parents took the selfish choice of starting anew, and sent me off to live with my crazy cousin Sherry.

When I say crazy, I don’t mean like pants-on-head crazy, but more like ‘has-you-live-a-lie-to-get-what-she-wants’ crazy. In my first few days living with her, she had me pretending to be a girl with a problem. My real name is Mason… but I go by Madison these days… long story.

So yah, I came to live with my cousin and she had me live life as a girl who suffered from incontinence. It was all for the benefit of the guy she liked and his daughter. It’s a bit of a stretch, I know, but the weird thing was I kind of found myself in the whole process. The lie became the truth.

I’ve always been a little confused on whether my body reflected my mind, but spending some time as a troubled girl felt more like the real me then being a boy did. During my exploration, I also found a family. It’s been three months, and in that short time, I’ve found a daddy in Will and I’ve found a sister in his daughter, Anna. The two of them have moved in with Sherry and I, and we are living together in what has easily been the best times of my life.

Except, summer was over… Anna had the bright idea that her and I should attend public school. We’re both going to be sophomores, and to a point, this is a social step forward for Anna. For the past few years Anna had been home schooled. Her dad was a little over protective since the accident that took her mother’s life and left her with one less leg and a lingering bladder problem… and through that time she had socially cut herself off from friends until she’d met me.

“Give us a call if you’re going to be staying after school, you got that hun?” Sherry said from the kitchen. She came to join us in the foyer a moment later with two bag lunches.

“We’ll call,” Anna said and I just nodded along dumbly as we were handed our lunches and walked out the door.

Earlier in the week Sherry had gone to the school to affect our transfer-in. We would be starting school a week late. I’m not really sure how, but Sherry had been able to register me for the school as a girl. Apparently she had a friend in the admin office… I dunno, but I was a little nervous about it. I’d never really tried to pass off as a girl for an extended period of time. Sure, I was basically living as a girl at home, but it was different on a farm and away from lots of people. How would girls react if they saw through what I was while using their bathroom?

Anna caught my worried expression as I dragged my feet on the way up our driveway. Usually everyone walked ahead of her since she had the limp a prosthetic leg ensures.

“Aww cheer up Madison, you look like we’re doing the long walk to gallows.”

I looked at her sidelong. “Somehow I don’t image you were always so perky on the first day of school.”

Anna shrugged. “Its been a few years since I’ve been to public school. It’s an opportunity, I can meet all the hick kids, befriend them, and hang around my adorable little sister in the process. It’s win win.”

“Call them hicks to their face and we’ll see how far you get.”

“Oh c’mon Madison… the farm has been fun since Sherry and my dad got those horses and cows, but our world can’t consist of just four people and livestock. We have to venture out into the greater unknown some day.”

She took my hand, interlacing her fingers. I sighed but appreciated the gesture. “Our world accepts what I am in every aspect… I’m not so sure the rest of the world will.”

“You’ll be fine… I mean, hell, you make a beautiful girl… slightly unpotty trained, but no one has to know that.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re one to talk. Don’t think I didn’t notice you woke up wet every day this week. I can count goodnights in the trash you know.”

Anna punched my shoulder lightly. “Nights don’t count. I’m winning during the day. Although both of us are doing surprisingly well if I might say so myself… even if we are in pull-ups.”

We reached the end of the driveway and the two of us leaned against the spokes of the simple wood fence marking the far boarder of the family farm.

The two of us looked like family, even if we weren’t biologically. Anna had long brown hair that she liked to wear straight and tucked over her left ear. She also had a pair of expressive blue eyes. My eyes were almost the same color, but my hair had my cousins dirty blond coloring and a natural bounce that Anna always said she was jealous of. I had let my cousin Sherry talk me into cutting my bangs a little shorter while putting the rest back with a set of pink clips, it gave me the overall look of a cute country girl and secretly I was pleased.

We would be attending Long Reed High School, the two of us were close enough in age that we were both coming in as Sophomores. The school didn’t require uniforms, so we were dressed comfortably. Anna in a pair of tan slacks, loose enough to get her fake leg in and out of, and a stylish t-shirt with a picture of Evil Ernie on the back. I was wearing a loose pair of capris, and a short sleeve girl’s polo. I also had on small pair of B-cup breast forms in a sports bra that Sherry had special ordered for me. All things considered, I could rock this like a girl in a way that felt natural.

The yellow bus pulled up a few minutes later and we hopped on with our bags. There were only half a dozen other students on it already. Some looked at us with casual indifference, but there were one or two boys who gave us a good going over with their eyes. As a girl, this kind of thing had become much more apparent then I’d remembered in my previous life.

The ride was a full 30 minutes, stopping every 10 or so to pick up kids at their driveways or on corners. There were a few that came from a trailer park which got a giggle from Anna till I poked her for it. This far away from major cities, the school was a bit further from home then I was used too.

We finally made it to Long Reed High. Our bus pulled up behind a few others just like it and released us into the slowly growing crowd of kids headed inside. It was a bit weird to be back at school again, and I was a bit nervous as we first got off that everyone could see exactly what I was… but as the two of us joined the others, no one said anything or gave me more then a glance at my butt.

Anna was practically skipping along as best as her legs would allow. “It’s a blue day! Home room first!” she said as she took me by the hand and started leading us into the main hallway. Our schedule was done up in blocks with a total of 6 classes and 1 homeroom. We’d have three each day and home room every morning. The two of us shared the same home room, but only shared Algebra on blue days and English on gold days. We were fortunate enough to have the same lunch.

“How you holding up on the bathroom stuffs?” Anna said as we passed a bathroom headed toward the Sophomore class areas. I turned my head and watched the bathroom and the large number of students going in and out and hanging by the doors. I was a bit too nervous to attempt something like that just yet. Plus I was doing well enough to know when I needed to go these days.

“I’m doing all right, we only left home like an hour ago, I should be fine.”

Anna nodded and soon enough the two of us were able to find our home room and introduce ourselves to our teacher, Mrs. Amfleet.

“I’m Anna Ulster, and this is my sister Madison Ulster,” Anna said with an enthusiastic smile. She had added her last name onto mine, which Sherry had also done when signing me up to keep pretenses.

“Nice to meet you girls, its only been a week so you haven’t missed much. I’m sure your other teachers will be able to give you a little extra homework to accommodate.”

I frowned at that, but Mrs. Amfleet didn’t seem the most observant teacher behind her thick horn rimmed glasses.

“You can take the pair seats in the middle of the class, they’re the only spots where you’ll both be together.”

We both nodded and took our seats. We had a few minutes and as the start of class neared, more students began to file in. We got more direct looks of curiosity as people realized there were new students in their class.

The first bell rang, and our teacher went through some basic announcements, welcoming everyone back from the weekend. Finally she turned to us.

“I’d like to introduce our two new students. Come on girls, why don’t you stand up and tell us your names,” Mrs. Amfleet asked.

Anna and I stood up and got to the front. Anna was smiling ear to ear as she made her way up, but her smile faltered a little as some of the class began to whisper about her limp. There was a group of preppy girls near the front who were all talking amongst themselves and one was pointing at Anna’s leg.

Mrs. Amfleet gestured to me. “My name’s Madison… Madison Ulster” I said with an immediate blush, hearing my voice squeak in nervousness. There were some giggles from the class, but they weren’t necessarily negative from some of the slight smiles I got from the boys. “And this is my sister,” I said looking to Anna.

“My name’s…”

“Is it Peg?” asked one of the preppy looking girls in a loud whisper.

“Haha, or I-lean?” Her friend asked next to her. There was some quiet laughter amongst the girls around them.

Anna hadn’t said her name yet. As soon as she’d heard the suggested names, it was as if the breath had been stolen right out from her lungs. She moved her mouth, trying to say something but coming up short like a fish out of water. I took her hand and gave it a squeeze as she’d done for me earlier, trying to let her know she wasn’t in front of them alone.

Anna pulled her hand away from mine, making two fists at her side. “My name’s Anna,” she said no longer smiling. She suddenly looked as awkward and shy as me, as well as a little angry.

In that awful moment, I could see the happiness and excitement that had been building for Anna and her triumphant return to high school just disappear. She trudged back to her desk in a slump, limping, albeit proudly in defiance of quiet giggling.

Our teacher looked at us not sure what had just happened, but eager to get on with homeroom. “Well thank you girls for introducing yourselves. I think you’ll do fine here.”

Re: N.B.A.C.G. - The Field Hockey Team (Chap 1 - 4 draft)

Chapter 2

“I knew we might get made fun of,” Anna frowned while stirring the applesauce on her tray. “I mean, our joint problems are ripe for ridicule, but that’s IF you could tell we had them and we’re careful about that…”

I looked around and lowered my voice. “You’re talking about our pull-ups right?”

“What the hell else would I be talking about!?!” Anna shot at me, pointing an accusing fork with some applesauce dripping off.

“We have more things wrong then just disposable underwear.”

Anna rolled her eyes and dropped her shoulders. “So I’m aware… but, I figured for sure you’d be the target. I mean,” she lowered her voice too. “You’re a sissy, in high school…”

I glared at Anna.

“Sorry… you are… you’re a really cute one though, and I could deal with YOU being made fun of… honestly I kind of looked forward to it, and then having to crack some heads to protect my ‘sister’.”


“But… they’re making fun of ME! And not for what I thought they would. It’s stupid, and its something I can’t help. They’re making fun of what I hate about me the most… what I can’t change no matter what…. they make me feel like a freak.”

She pounded her fist on the table for emphasis and drama.

I sighed, but wasn’t really sure what to say. I felt for her, really I did, but there wasn’t a lot to be done. “It was just one class, and it was just this morning. They’ll probably forget about it by tomorrow.”

Anna didn’t say anything for a moment and I realized she’d practically frozen in place. I raised an eyebrow but then looked around and saw that there was a trio of girls walking by. It was the same preppy girls from our class. We didn’t know there names and I was only half sure they knew ours.

“It’s like she’s from the planet Flaturn… She has the chest of a cutting board,” one of them said to giggles from the others. She had curly red hair and a sprinkling of freckles.

The blond next to her was quick to chime in, “Haha yah, they could totally lay her on a table to see if its level,” she added to more laughter.

“And she thought she could make the cheer-leading team? Ha!” added the last girl, another blond who stood an inch taller then the others. The other two seemed to be following her.

“Guess I’m not the only one they’ll ridicule today,” Anna practically snarled as they walked by. I raised an eyebrow and watched her and them, knowing that when Anna made enemies, it was a solemn swearing and something she never forgot.

“Hey… um… mind if I join you two?” asked a dark skinned girl.

The two of us looked up a little surprised, having been so focused on the pack of predators that we’d zoned out the rest of the lunch room.

“Uh, sure,” Anna said carefully.

The girl was about as tall as me, and she was slender and pretty in a somewhat exotic way. She had dark olive skin and round almond eyes, with a head of raven black hair.

“I didn’t really get to introduce myself, but I’m in your homeroom,” she said in a slow and precise speech. “I sit in the back. My name’s Fatima Patel.” (Fah-tee-ma Pah-till, in case anyone wants to know how to pronounce it as she did)

“You already know our names I assume,” Anna said still cautious.

She nodded, setting down a tray of food.

“Nice to meet you,” I said somewhat shyly.

“Likewise. I wanted to say hello since I know what it is like to be the new girl. I transferred midway through last year and I’m still the only Indian girl in this school. Which means I’m also the only terrorist here in the eyes of everyone else.”

I laughed a little. “Terrorist?”

“You could amend the definition this far out in the country to include just about anyone with dark skin. Even if their daddy is the town doctor.”

Anna smiled slightly at this. “Sooo… jihad then?”

Fatima rolled her eyes. “No jihad. I’m Hindu, and even then I’m kind of Hindu light and far removed from any type of violent enforcement of my beliefs. I’m mostly into sports, where at least I can’t be denied my worth simply for the color of my skin.”

“What do you play?” I asked conversationally. The three of us had begun to eat and there was a noticeable relaxation of tension, as if our day had finally started to play out like it was supposed to at school.

“Field hockey, I just joined. The season was already over last year when I came to the school and I just played tennis in the spring. Field hockey is about the closest thing your country has to cricket and so far its been great. We could really use some more players if you two want to try out.”

Anna frowned a little. “I can’t exactly play sports… I don’t know if you’ve noticed but….” And in grand dramatic fashion, I saw Anna reach down and roll up her pant leg. There was a click as she unhooked her leg and proceeded to hold it up at table height.

“Anna!” I exclaimed. It seemed almost like she was trying to rub her disability in Fatima’s face.

“What?” Anna smirked. “If I’m going to be ridiculed over something, I might as well show it off so people can just get it out now rather then whisper about it behind my back for months.”

Fatima looked aghast. “I… I didn’t mean to poke fun, I mean, I would never… I didn’t know.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “No, it wasn’t you, don’t worry,” she brought her leg down and under the table again, strapping back on even as there was a noticeable increase in chatter around us as some people had obviously seen what she’d done. “This is our first time back at school and I’m not really used to the attention my fake leg draws I guess. I used to be into making people feel guilty about it to garner some pity and sympathy… but I don’t any more, and I didn’t mean to focus that at you, I’m just a little peeved at those preppy girls from our class.”

Fatima made an ‘Ahhhh’ nose and nodded as if she understood. “Say no more. You speak of the queen of goopiness and the bimbo twins.”

Anna raised an eyebrow but smirked a little.

I looked confused. “Pardon? Goopness?”

"Her two best friends are Serena and Mallory. Her name’s Anne-Marie, she was born on third base and thinks she hit a triple. "

Anna laughed at that, but I didn’t get it and just tilted my head. “Sooo she’s the leader of the three girls? Or what?”

“She’s the sophomore cheer-leading captain. It’s almost unheard of, and somehow she loves to work that into EVERY conversation, and then she also likes to work in everyone elses imperfections. That’s why I call her queen goopness, cause she’s like pond muck. The first day I met her she informed me that 1) I’m a terrorist and don’t know it yet. 2) My name Fatima is an anagram for ‘I am fat’ and 3) My breasts are malformed.” Fatima gave her chest a little bounce from below. “Seem fine to me… but I have thick skin, I’ve seen her make other girls cry plenty of times.”

Anna nodded sternly at that.

The lunch bell rang shortly after and three of us split up. We’d already had homeroom and one class before lunch, but now we had two more after. I was going to Spanish 1, while Anna was off to Biology. We’d see each other again our last period for 10th grade English.

Finding class wasn’t too hard, but as I was getting close I was starting to feel that it’d be smart idea to visit the restroom before class. I discreetly gave my pull-up a pat through my capris and it was dry, but still, I given the time frame I knew I’d have to go soon and sometimes sudden need was hard to control.

I walked by the bathroom but froze a little when I saw how crowded it was… That many girls… and I’d never really used the ladies room in a really public setting before. Going into the small bathroom at Walmart was one thing, a packed high school bathroom was another.

I bit my lower lip and kept walking to class.

Re: N.B.A.C.G. - The Field Hockey Team (Chap 1 - 4 draft)

Chapter 3

“And my legs will go where?”

I stuttered a little. “Unddder your desk?”

The girl frowned at me. Apparently in the week of school we’d had so far, she’d made the only spare desk in our class her personal foot stool. Having another student occupy it was not going well.

“You new then?” she asked.

I nodded, still waiting for her to clear her legs out of the seat. She didn’t move them, instead just clicking her shoes together.

I asked again. “Please move your feet. I need to sit somewhere, class is about to start.” I looked from her and around the room for our teacher, but he seemed busy with a lesson book at his desk.

“You can sit on the floor,” the girl said.

The other kids around her and me were all eagerly watching the exchange now. No one seemed intent on helping me.

“I’d rather not sit on the floor,” I said trying to be calm… and wishing my sister was here to use her sheer force of personality to resolve something like this.

The girl removed her feet and stood up in front of me. She was at least three or four inches taller then me, and she was dressed a bit more boyish then most girls. Her long brown hair fell a little unkempt down her back and even though she was wearing a hoodie, I could tell she wasn’t fat. She looked slim, but muscled.

She glared at me, and for a moment I was afraid that she was either going to hit me or force me to sit down on floor simply through the daggers she was shooting from her eyes.

“Senorita Brandy sentarse.” Our teacher said across the room. He looked at me. “¿Cuál era su nombre?”

I knew a little spanish, enough to know that nombre meant name. “Madison.”

“Si, Madison, bienvenida.” he gestured for me to sit as well. I hurriedly did so before the other girl, Brandy, could put her feet back on the chair.

The bell rang and it only took a few minutes for class to start and the girl behind me to begin a rhythmic kicking of my chair. I sighed… this was starting out to be a crappy year.

“Estamos aprendiendo sobre los nombres de los alimentos,” our teacher said, and completely lost me.

I tried to follow the lesson, but the steady kicking was getting to me. I tried to ignore it, but as my desk bounced slightly, I realized to my horror that I could feel a slight wetness in my pull-up. My hand shot up.

“Baño!” I said alarmingly.

My teacher turned around surprised, but nodded and indicated the door, seeing my expression was indicating something semi-serious. I was quick to rush out of my seat, snatching up my backpack as I did and hurrying for the door.

I ran back out into the locker bays and over to the bathroom, finding it blessedly empty while classes were on. I pushed open the first door, found the toilet clogged, nearly gagged, and picked the third stall over and furthest from the door. My hands got the button of my capris undone and the pull-ups down just as I began to take a leak. I sighed in relief, happy to have made it. I could see the pull-ups between my legs were still a little wet, and at least it wasn’t soaked. After willingly relinquishing control earlier in the summer, it had been hard to regain it.

I ripped the sides of the pull up off and worked the capris off my legs. The problem with pull-ups was that I had to completely undress to get a new pair on… and since this pair was slightly wet, I was just going to toss it and get a new pair. Anna was wearing them too, haven’t not quite gotten perfect control either, and childishly she had only gotten pink disney princess pull-ups for us to hide in our bags.

It was as I was working the pull-up onto my legs that the door to my stall flung open.

“Hah, thought you might be…”

My eyes shot wide open and I stared aghast. The girl who had been sitting behind me had just pushed my stall door open… and even though I’d locked it, the lock was apparently garbage. I was standing with nothing on but my polo, and my pull-up at my knees.

I shrieked like a teen-girl, and put my hands over my privates. It was automatic. She recoiled and shut the door muttering an apology… My heart stopped beating and I had time to wander what had just happened, and how much she had just seen, when just as quickly, her hand forced the door open again and she held it to the wall with a loud thump.

The surprise and momentary embarrassed shock had been erased, and now she was staring at me the same way she had been in class when I’d asked her to move her feet. I knew… that she knew…

A small smile crept across her lips as she took a more complete picture of me with her eyes.

“Go away, shut the door!” I insisted, standing awkwardly half naked with my hands over myself.

She just kept smiling. “Pull-ups?” she asked, giggling and seeing the pink cloth object. Then she nodded to my hands and what they covered. “Kinda girly for… you know…”

I blushed… and suddenly realized this was probably my first and last day of high school… I turned around and mooned her, pulling them on and then just as quickly pulling up my capris. I crossed my arms awkwardly across my chest, which as I turned around, she was suddenly interested in. Her hand reached out tentatively to cop a feel, but I slapped it away. She just giggled again.

“You know, I have seriously like a million questions now… First things first though, after school you’re going to try out for the field hockey team,” she said.

I frowned. “Leave me alone.”

“I won’t tell a soul…” and she tried hard to bite down a laugh. “That you’ve got a cock… heh, and boobs… holy hell, does that mean you’re a hermaph….”

“It means I don’t want to be bothered,” I cut her off, seeing a slight angle I could work. “And I have personal issues the principle is aware of and… I uh…” I tried to think of more to support the lie… but she just grinned, I think she could see right through it. Either that or she thought the principle was powerless against one really good soon-to-be rumor.

“You’ll be at practice after school. Ladies locker room 15 minutes after last bell… Either that or I tell everyone,” she grinned. I flipped her the bird, but she just laughed and left me standing in my shame.

… Now I felt like shit. How could my year have started off so bad on just the first day?

I grabbed my bag and went back to class, finding her sitting in her seat. She had a grin like the cat with the canary behind its teeth. I glared, but quietly took my seat in front of her.

Re: N.B.A.C.G. - The Field Hockey Team (Chap 1 - 4 draft)

Chapter 4

Anna was already seated in our 10th grade English class when I got there. She looked about as happy as I’d seen her at lunch. I took the open seat next to her and practically fell into my chair.

She didn’t wait for an explanation. “Sooo yah, the bimbo twins are in my Biology class, but thankfully not queen goop,” she said crossing her arms. The name Fatima had used for the tall blond cheer-leading captain was going to stick with us.

“Did they say anything?” I asked, momentarily forgetting my own problems in worry for her.

“They called me Eilean again, but I don’t think they meant it as maliciously as earlier. I honestly don’t think they cared enough to learn my name and that’s what they believe it is…”

I sighed. “Whatever you do in retaliation, remember that this isn’t New York and murdered people aren’t just attributed to gangland violence.”

Anna frowned and mumbled something about cement blocks but didn’t continue the issue. “How was your last class?” she asked sitting back in her chair. “Better then mine so far I hope.”

I bit my lip a little and held onto the bottom of my shirt… “I… …. got made.”

Anna sat up. “What do you mean?”

“There was one seat, some buff chick wouldn’t stop using it as her leg rest, we argued… and I uh… had a little accident when I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Was it bad?” Anna winced.

“Worse. I got up, went to the bathroom, and that same girl followed me. She burst in on me and saw everything.”

Anna was quiet a moment. Her face suddenly pale.

“Did… did she?”

“Saw. Everything.”

“Madison! The first damn day?! How stupid could you be, seriously, do you…” Anna was practically yelling, but stopped as she saw half the class who had filed in was looking at us. “Oh, hi everyone, we’re new, I’m Anna, this is Madison, she’s my sister and apparently already kis…”

I slapped my hand over her quick lying mouth, blushing and making a twirling motion with my hand for everyone to turn around and pay us no mind. A few of the class who’d been watching remained doing so but most turned back around.

Anna bit my hand till I removed it from her mouth. She lowered her voice to a growl. “The first day?” she asked again.

“It wasn’t intentional!” I whispered back. “She hasn’t told anyone and said she wouldn’t as long as I came to try out for the field hockey team.”

“Blackmail? Bah… fine mess you’re in.”

“Public school was your idea! Remember how much convincing you had to do to Sherry?”

Anna grumbled and the two of us got quiet as the bell rang and our teacher started in on class.

10th Grade English was nothing really that special. Being this late in the school day, most of the students were too tired to bother us or even wonder what we’d been talking about before class.

After class let out, we didn’t get up. We stayed and argued about what to do. Anna wanted to go meet this girl and break her nose. I wanted to get out of school and never come back.

“Sherry wouldn’t allow that, she’d knuckle up and be all ‘I went through all that work to get you into public school and now you want out’?” Anna said doing her Sherry impression with wagging finger.

I frowned. “Dad would take me out in a heartbeat if I told him that my secret had been uncovered.”

“Dad will do anything for you if you use the whiney voice… but come on, we can fix this, we can counter the blackmail with a knuckle sandwich… it’ll work, trust me.”

“Why violence? She doesn’t even know the whole truth, she thinks I’m a hermaphrodite.”

Anna laughed at that. “Heh, well for the most part, you are… you just lack boobs and a vag… but other than that I’d say you’re equally both sexes sometimes.”

“I can’t tell if that’s a compliment or not…”

“Whatever, lets go and beat up a field hockey player.”

I sighed… Anna was mad that someone had made fun of her leg today and she needed to take it out somewhere and crusading for me, her ‘sister’ was exactly the excuse she wanted. Either I let her have her moment of violence now, or I deal with her like a tiger that’s had its tail pulled for the rest of the week.

We made our way toward the gym and the girl’s locker room. Right at the appointed time, the girl in the hoodie was waiting with her back to the wall. She grinned as she saw me.

“That her?” Anna asked as we approached. I nodded.

“I’m somewhat surprised, I didn’t think you’d show up,” the girl said.

Anna was quick to step in front of me. Even though she was an inch or so shorter then me, she liked to think she was my ‘big sis’.

“What the hell are you trying to pull?” Anna asked in a voice dripping with challenge and attitude.

The girl in the hoodie was taken aback for a moment. She looked from Anna then to me and shrugged.

“I need more players. Are you here to join too?” she asked with the same smile.

Anna grabbed the strings of the strings of the girl’s hoodie, pulling her forward. The other girl lost her smile and swept Anna’s arms away, taking a step back.

“Hey!” she said in surprise and defense. Now that she’d stopped leaning on the wall, she was easily a good three or four inches over Anna, standing right around six feet with that same slim but muscular build I’d noticed before.

Anna lost some of her fire as she sized up her opponent. Rather then make another move she went back to standing right in front of me. “My sister Madison told me what happened earlier…”

The other girl looked from Anna to to me again. “Your ‘sister’ huh?”

I blushed bright red and Anna nodded firmly. “I’m fiercely protective of my SISTER,” Anna said.

The other girl smiled. “Perhaps we’re getting off on the wrong foot then. My name’s Brandy, Brandy Folwer. I’m team captain of the Long Reed field hockey team and I’m a bit desperate for more players…”

“Shut up, I don’t care who you are, I only care what you plan to do. Our first day has been hell and I’m not about to let you get away with black mailing my sis.”

“You came!” said a happy and overly proper voice somewhere behind us. We all turned to see Fatima gliding down the hall. “I had a good feeling you might… this will be perfect, you’ll be our 11th player and we’ll finally be able to field a full team!”

Fatima took my hand and pressed it between both of hers, mumbling a prayer in a language I couldn’t understand.

“Uhm, I didn’t,” I looked to Anna and Brandy who were both dumbstruck. “I mean we…”

“I checked the rules too, there’s nothing that says you couldn’t play too Anna, if you wanted too I mean. I’m sure the other girls would be supportive, right Brandy?”

Everyone turned to Brandy now. “Sure?” she asked experimentally. “Why wouldn’t she be able…”

Fatima didn’t give Brandy a chance to finish, she was already dragging me into the girl’s locker room and ignoring my stumble walk. I looked back to Anna for help and she was just about to jump to my aid.

“Hold it! We’re still talking here,” the taller girl said to my sis. She reached with both hands for Anna’s belt loop on her pants to try and hold her back, but instead her hands found the top of Anna’s pull-up, giving her a slight wedgie.

Anna’s face dropped and she looked over her shoulder in horror. I was dragged around the corner just as I saw a smile curling on Brandy’s face.

“Ladies! The 11th has arrived!” Fatima announced as she pulled me around the corner. There was mixed cheers as some of the girls looked up to see who had joined them. My feet froze in place and the blush I’d had earlier deepened a few shades darker.

There were tits.

Half a dozen girls were in various states of undress and two completely topless. My eyes widened and I hurriedly focused my attention on my shoes and the floor they were standing on.

“Awww… she’s cuter than a baby bunny,” said another girl bouncing up to us. She was one of the topless girls and her voice was dripping with southern accent. She had frizzy blond hair pulled into a loose pony tail and was currently only wearing thong panties and a pair of gym shorts.

“This is Madison Ulster, and I think her sister might be joining too, she’s out talking with Brandy in the hall,” Fatima said.

The blond nodded, taking the hand that Fatima wasn’t holding and shaking it roughly in hers.

“Nice to meetcha Madison, my name’s Summer. Right kind of you to join us, seein’s how we was short a playar and all.”

“I… I’ve never played field hockey before,” I said, fumbling for words. I tried to bring my eyes up to meet Summer’s. She was very pretty, and it was hard to focus…. she had beautiful breasts, even bigger then my cousin Sherry’s.

“Tain’t matter none, we’ll learn yah.”

“I didn’t even know the game rules a week ago myself,” Fatima said in her perfect English. “It’s not hard to get the basics.” The two of them tag teamed me over to one of the open lockers.

“I… I don’t have anything to practice in,” I offered as another excuse, feeling cornered and in dangerous grounds. Everywhere I looked there were pretty girls in underwear or less… and these girls were looking at me like they expected me to get undressed and ready to play a sport I had no intention of playing.

“I have some extra gym clothes,” Fatima offered helpfully.

I stole a glance back at the entrance to the locker room, Anna and Brandy hadn’t come in yet. I could really do with a rescue about now…

“But my sister…?” I asked.

Both girls looked at each other and back at the door. Fatima nodded. “Brandy and her are taking a little long… lemme go check on them.”

Re: N.B.A.C.G. - The Field Hockey Team (Chap 1 - 4 draft)

Note - Before releasing the finished chapters, I’ll prolly delete this thread and of al the sites I usually post on, its only being posted here for now. I usually get the best critiques here =3

Re: N.B.A.C.G. - The Field Hockey Team (Chap 1 - 4 draft)

FOXXXXXX! Good to see you back! :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

Interesting start! Personally i would really rather NOT have Mason/Madison do a crossdress, but it’s your story, I guess.

Looking forward to more! :wink:

Re: N.B.A.C.G. - The Field Hockey Team (Chap 1 - 4 draft)

I agree with casper. I liked it better wen the main character was completely female. However it is your story and i did read and enjoy both versions, so i cant wait for the finished product.

Re: N.B.A.C.G. - The Field Hockey Team (Chap 1 - 4 draft)

I may do two versions again, but to be honest, even though I don’t consider myself into TG/Cross play in the way I’m into AB/DL, I can’t help enjoying Madison as being a boy a little more. As a writer, it makes for a more interesting problem. First, being a boy and crossdressing, he’s left with a lingering fear of the bathroom and possible discovery. This makes it easier to get him into diapers full time.

Also, as secrets go, instead of having one big secret (a teen still in diapers), he has two, both of which would be social status destroying. At the same time there’s also an underlying sexual tension. Because his sexuality is somewhat ambiguous, being around all the girls so often is bound to stir things up a little bit.

In either gender case of the main character, the underlying message is love and acceptance. Madison, as a boy or a girl, just wants to be loved and shown affection which had been sorely missing in her life. It’s also why she developed a very quick crush on Will, who was the first person she’d met who was almost completely selfless, spending all his care and effort on his daughter, which was unlike Sherry, who was showing all her attention to getting into Will’s pants (and why in this later date, they’re still not a couple, Will has her in a ‘big sister role’ trying to train her up to a more understanding and less selfish person.

Sorry to write so much, but I really enjoy discussing plot. If I wrote another version with a female lead, I’d have to cancel a few major plot points relationship wise… that or make Madison into girls as a girl.

Re: N.B.A.C.G. - The Field Hockey Team (Chap 1 - 4 draft)

Your the author, take it the way you want it

Re: N.B.A.C.G. - The Field Hockey Team (Chap 1 - 4 draft)

I have some direction, but I was actually hoping for more input… this board used to be a bit more active, but both it and my own forum seem to have slowed a bit.

Re: N.B.A.C.G. - The Field Hockey Team (Chap 1 - 4 draft)

Well, this isn’t a Master class… IMO your technical skill is there, and I for one am not going to try and interpose my own style onto yours.

Plot-wise, however… I think that having 2 big secrets to keep may be more than a little problematic and result in the plot being overly convoluted. Especially since there has already a big reveal in the 2nd chapter. I personally think that was too soon, and some pacing to stretch out the timing would benefit the story. I don’t mean you should create random fillers, but maybe shift some plot lines around a bit - put a bit of buildup of a different plot line before having the first ‘climax’ in the ‘diaper/x-dress’ plotline. Most published writers have several plots and subplots going on at the same time, each affecting the other, which really ties a story together in ways other than the characters.

Also, for me, having Madison as a X-dresser does nothing except introduce an unnecessary complication into the plot. For the romances thing, i’m sure it’d be pretty easy to shift the targets to males, or even change Madison to an out-and-out male - unless you were planning on making her bisexual and have targets from both genders anyway.

This is largely a matter of personal opinion, really. What I don’t like may interest others, so at the end of the day, it’s really up to you to choose what you want to do with your imagination :).

Re: N.B.A.C.G. - The Field Hockey Team (Chap 1 - 4 draft)

Thank you Casper, I think I might end up pulling back the reveal to have only one big secret found the first day (her pull-up). Would give me more to work with later.