The Sound Of Awkwardness and Crushes. (Part 1)
It’s only 7:00, way too early to be laying in bed contemplating my existence, and my search history. Mostly the latter, but still, I’m really scared. Even after watching videos on how to be calm when talking to people, and even talking with Dan a bit, I’m nervous. He said not to be worried about it, that Kyle is understanding and he’s just as scared as me. I took a shower to attempt to calm my nerves, heck, I even used the lavender soap to make the world seem a little better. After my shower, I slid my underwear on, purple butterflies and flowers tonight, my favorite. I took a quick glance at the clock on my bookshelf, 7:20, it read, it’s now or never. I sighed as I opened up my phone and got ready to text Kyle. To my surprise, he sent one first.
I’m an idiot, I quietly sang, I hope this works. I opened the phone and texted Paul. “Hey dude I need your help I gotta tell ya something”, to my surprise, two minutes later, “Oh yeah, what’s up?” We exchange our normal conversations and pleasantries, then I told him, “can I tell you something? You won’t tell Dan, or Lily, right?” “Sure dude” I sighed, this was the make or break moment I guess, I hoped he didn’t judge me too harshly. “So uh, um, you know how I sorta walked in on Lily by mistake? And saw her wet herself?” “Kinda? That was like 8 hours ago.” I guess I should’ve expected a response like that, Paul isn’t exactly known for his sympathetic nature. He followed this up with, “Get to the point” I took a deep breath, here it goes, I thought, “That was honestly one of the cutest and hottest things I’ve ever seen, and I wouldn’t mind seeing it again.” “That’s fucked up man” My heart dropped, I guess he was right, then came another text “nah I’m joking jk jk” that was a relief. “Dude it’s cool, just if you wanna see it again, make sure she’s ok with it, and knock louder.” Heh, I thought, she’ll never talk to me again probably, I probably gave her an embarrassing experience for a lifetime, and she probably hates me now since I walked in on her. I checked the time on my phone, 7:19, “now or never, I guess,” said the voice inside my head. And I sent one of the most awkward texts of a lifetime.
“Hey uh, how’s life going for ya?” The words of Kyle never cease to amaze me with both how predictable they can be, like now, or how random they can be, also like now. I think it’s sorta cute, the way he talks, he has kind of a monotone voice, and to be honest, when he puts expressions into his voice and tone, it’s really funny and cute. I felt my chest tighten a bit, it’s sorta funny, how nervous I am, like a child asking for something. I replied, “good so far, how’s it been for you?” His response kinda hurt in a sense, “pretty alright, just been thinking about a lot of stuff lately”. It hurt in the sense that my presence was just a small factor that he brushed aside, or maybe that he was downplaying the scale of him walking in, on accident. He sent another message, “hey um, I kinda wanna tell you something, are ye busy by any chance?” This made my heart stop, I was so scared that he would tell me that he hates me, or that he thought I was a baby. I quietly typed out a response, “sorry I’m a bit busy, I’ll text ya later when I’m free tho, gtg!” It was still early, I thought, time for me to think a bit.
I’m so screwed. She definitely hates me, she brushed me off after two texts. I guess this is what I get for being a creep and a perv. I feel terrible. I mean, she did say “later” but that could mean in an hour, or two or three days from now. It’s kinda obvious how nervous she is, but I hope I didn’t accidentally hurt her. . . I just wanted to keep it casual and then lead up to it, but hey, that didn’t work very well. Imagine actually being good at talking to people. Heh, I can only wish. Maybe one day it’ll work out, and she can be happy, but I don’t think it’ll be me. Might as well wait and see if she does text back.
I laid in bed, and I felt relaxed and comfortable as I found the perfect position in my bed. This was only disturbed when I started to fidget, I was really beginning to regret drinking tea earlier…I could walk across my room and go to the bathroom…or I could use my underwear since it can hold it. “No…don’t do it, it’ll leak again like last time…” says the voice inside my head, but this time, I was prepared. I sighed, as I rolled over, removing myself from the bliss of my covers, and reached under my bed for another diaper. I stood up next to my bed, and took a deep breath. It felt weird, I was going to slide another diaper over my current one so that it doesn’t leak. I silently slid my legs into the new diaper and eased it over my current diaper. Much bulkier and thicker than my regular ones, but it would definitely be able to hold an accident or two. I exhaled sharply as I let go into my diaper while standing up next to my bed. It grew warm quickly, and actually felt nice for a little while. All of a sudden, I felt like crying. I, a 16 year old girl, had just used her diaper on purpose so she wouldn’t have to leave her bed. The warmth and dampness of the diaper quickly turned into a cold and clammy cover of my bottom and stuff. I stripped off the first diaper and just slid the second one on, I quickly hid the diaper in an area where I would remember to take it out of my room tomorrow and throw it away. Only then did I breathe a sigh of relief, until I looked at the clock. “10:21?” I thought to myself, “How did time go by so quickly?” I then remember that I should probably text Kyle back. With that, I lay in my bed, preparing to text Kyle.
I hope he’s still up…
(Ayyyy, another chapter, sorry if this one isn’t as long as other chapters, but I hope you enjoy it! -Joker)
(Ok, so this is where I ended. I have my reasons for why I stopped on Wattpad, and honestly, I’m not sure when I’ll continue it. If you have any suggestions or tips, I’d be happy to hear them. Thank you! - Joker.)