Molly's Deep Dark Secret

NOTE: This story is 57 pages long in Word. Enjoy.

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 1
By Teekabell
2004-2009

“Molly, spell – went –”

“W - E - N - T”

“Good, now spell – take –” Molly’s mom asked as she continued working.

“T - A - K - E”

“Your going to ace your spelling test this week dear.” Molly’s mom said with pride as she continued cleaning Molly up. “Now spell - who -”

“H - O - O”

“Well, maybe we better do some more practicing. – WHO – is spelled; W – H – O. Now do you want Ariel or Minnie Mouse.”

“Minnie Mouse, W – H – O?”

“Yup, WHO – W – H – O” Her mom said as she slipped the Minnie Mouse panties on Molly. “Okay, that is enough practice for now. I have to go get dinner ready.” Molly was picked up, given a hug, and put down on the floor. Mom straightened out Molly’s dress before the 6 year old went running off to play.

Molly had a deep dark secret. Most 6 (almost 7) year olds didn’t have deep dark secrets, but Molly did. She would never want any of the other kids in her 1st grade classroom to find out. She knew other kids her age still wore diapers at night, but even though she didn’t want the kids at school to know she still wet her diaper every night, this wasn’t the secret. Her big secret was that each day she would be put in a diaper to do her poopies.

Yes, she knew 6 (almost 7) year olds were supposed to go poopy in the potty. She had never gone poopy in the potty and had no intention of doing it in the near future. Her mom had tried at the beginning of Kindergarten to get her to stop using diapers for her poopies. Molly resisted. At first Molly just held her poop till the night time diaper was put on. Her mom didn’t like this, so she decided to put up with wet sheets for a while and stopped the night time diaper. Molly was stubborn, and they ended up at the doctors office due to severe constipation. The diapers returned with instruction from mom telling Molly never to hold it again and to ask for a diaper whenever she wanted it. In the efforts to get things flowing again normally, Molly temporarily lost control of her bowels for awhile, causing her to have a few accidents at school and her mom eventually making her wear Pull-Ups to school for about a month of Kindergarten. Molly was embarrassed, but the only one who found out was her best friend Flora. Flora didn’t care, because she still wore diapers to bed every night and sometimes on car trips.

Now, Molly gets home from school each day and is put into a diaper. She usually ends up pooping the diaper between 3 and 5pm ever day. She is then cleaned up by her mom and put back into panties. During the diaper change, Mom will drill Molly on her spelling words. At bed time, she is put in her night time diaper. It is not a typical 6 (almost 7) year olds after school routine, but that is life at Molly’s house.

Life at Molly’s house was about to change however, her mom was getting married on Saturday. Marcus was a nice man and Molly had grown up with him dating her mommy. They would be moving to a new house after the honeymoon. Molly didn’t really understand why Mommy and Marcus got to go on a trip without her, but she was still happy to have her mommy marry Marcus. While Marcus and Mommy went on their Honeymoon, Molly’s new Grandma would be coming to stay with her. They have not met, but Marcus says she is real nice and she used to be a special teacher. Molly didn’t know what a special teacher was, but she liked her teacher and hoped Marcus’ mommy was just as nice.


After school the next day, Molly was put into a diaper immediately upon getting home. The rest of the afternoon was spent playing with her dolls and other toys. As usual, Molly would use her diaper while it was on, without even being aware of her actions. The diaper was put on so she could poop, but she would pee in them too. Sometimes she would go through more than one diaper in an afternoon before she would poop. Molly didn’t know why, but with a diaper on she often wouldn’t even know when she had peed or pooped them.

About an hour after getting her diaper on, Molly would have her diaper checked and changed if needed. Her mom didn’t like her being in a diaper and liked it even less that she wouldn’t use the potty at all while in one. Her mom had hoped Molly would get tired of being put in a baby diaper and being treated like a baby. Unfortunately, Molly kind of liked the baby treatment and really didn’t mind being Mommy’s Baby Girl.

Marcus had an idea that was at least worth a try. Molly’s mom really did not want a seven year old in diapers, so she was open to almost anything. He recommended that his mother try to train Molly, she had been a special education teacher for 20 years and had toilet trained many children over the years. They needed someone to watch Molly the two weeks they were on their Honeymoon, why not try to solve two problems at once. Neither of them knew how she would do it, but they were too busy trying to pull together the wedding to worry about it.

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 2

On Saturday, Molly was dressed in the cutest dress she had ever seen. She loved being the little princess. Dropping flowers all over the floor while everyone was commenting on how cute she was, just made her day. She knew it was Mommy and Marcus’ day, but it seemed like it was a big party for her, just so everyone could say how cute she was.

It was about 3pm when they took a limo ride from the church to the reception. To Molly’s objections, she was put in a diaper on the trip. Molly tried to convince Mommy that she could wait till they got home, but the diaper still went on. Although Molly didn’t notice, she wet the diaper almost immediately. Her Mom saw Molly peeing them when she pulled up the tights. She figured they would hold up to a little more so she didn’t change her then. To Molly the tights over the diapers made them feel a little different. Molly became real shy once they reached the reception. Some of the guests wondered why the bright and bubbly little girl was now shy and clingy. It was hard for people to not notice the difference, since the bride now had a little girl attached to her.

Slowly as the party went on, Molly got more and more comfortable being around all these people in a diaper. Molly and Marcus made sure there were toys and a play area at the reception for the little ones. It took a while, but eventually Molly was off playing in the play area with the other kids. Like most little girls, Molly didn’t do a good job keeping her underclothing covered while she played. Although most kids Molly’s age and younger were not phased by such things, some of the older kids treated Molly more like a toddler as soon as they saw the diaper. Molly wasn’t aware that other people knew she was in a diaper, until one of the big kids (a nine year old girl) came up to her and took her hand.

The older girl said, “Come on little one, let’s go find your mommy and get your diaper changed.”

Molly was about to deny that she was wearing a diaper, but decided not to when she realized she had a poopy diaper on. Molly just went with the big girl as she proceeded through the large group of people in the room. Very quickly Molly found herself in front of her Mommy and a group of people sitting at a table.

“Here you go little one,” the big girl said to Molly. “Now your mommy can get you into a nice clean diaper.”

“Oh, does my little girl need her diaper changed,” Molly’s mom said as she got up from the table. “Thank you Sally for being such a good helper.”

Molly was taken to the bathroom and had her diaper changed. She was put in another diaper, with her mom saying it was just in case. Molly was not happy, but she quickly learned she had no say in the matter. Her mom had enough experience with situations like this and knew the chances of Molly having an accident were very high. She was grateful, but surprised, that Molly made it through the wedding ceremony without having an accident. Molly rarely had daytime pee accidents (while not in a diaper), but during really exciting and fun times like today, Molly often had both pee and poop accidents.

When they got back from the bathroom Molly had some stuff to eat and was shy again for about 20 minutes before she was back to playing in the play area. It was about 7 pm when they climbed into the Limo to head home. Within 5 minutes of leaving the reception, Molly was asleep.

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 3

Molly woke up the next morning in her bed, dressed in her favorite pink Blanket-Sleeper. With Josey, her favorite teddy bear, held tight in her arms, she meandered her way down the hall to the living room. Before curling up on the couch, she turned on the TV and grabbed the remote. It didn’t take long for Molly’s mom to hear the TV and come in to the living room. This morning she sat down on the couch next to Molly and pulled Molly over on to her lap.

“Good morning little one.”

“Hi Mommy”

“Well, little one. Did you have fun at the wedding?”

Molly snuggled up to her mom with a big smile.

“Now, Marcus’ mommy is coming this afternoon to spend two weeks with - - - You. She is really looking forward to getting to know her new Granddaughter.”

Molly cuddled up closer to her mommy while continuing to watch TV.

“You remember Marcus’ mommy from yesterday, don’t you Molly?”

“Yeah”

They sat on the couch watching TV for about 20 minutes before Marcus came into the room. “So, what are my two most favorite girls in the world up to this morning?”

“Well, Molly and I are on Vacation, so we are just waiting for you to make us breakfast.”

“Well, what if I want to be on vacation too?”

“No, No,” Molly then paused. She looked at her Mommy and then at Marcus, “No Daddy. You do not start your vacation till your Mommy gets here.”

“Well, as the DADDY, I guess I will make breakfast.”

The two girls giggled and continued to watch TV. Once they could smell nice fragrances coming from the kitchen, Molly and her bear Josey were picked up and carried to her room to get changed out of her diaper and into some panties. Her mom usually did this as soon as Molly got up in the morning to make sure she used the toilet while awake instead of the diaper. With the Honeymoon trip taking her away from Molly for two weeks, she wanted some time with her baby girl.

“Well all cleaned up. Is Josey coming to breakfast with us?”

“She is hungry too.”

“Well then I guess she better come down to breakfast. I just hope DADDY has cooked enough for all of us.”

Molly giggled as she was carried down to the kitchen.


Molly’s spring break started with her being flower girl in her Mommy’s wedding and now she got to spend all day with her Mommy and new Daddy. They played games, painted pictures, and watched THE LITTLE MERMAID. At 3 o’clock she was put in a diaper just as usual for her poopies. Molly didn’t want to be put in a diaper saying she didn’t have to go poopy yet, but her mom knew she would poop in the diaper but would not ask for a diaper if the diaper wasn’t put on. Since she didn’t want another round of constipation, she put the diaper on.

At about 4 o’clock Marcus’ mom, Stacy, showed up. She was shown where various things were in the house and goodbyes were said. After Molly’s parents left for their honeymoon, Stacy was ready to put her plan into action. Molly went back to school in one week and her parents come back in two weeks. She had two weeks to get Molly behaving like an average 6 year old. Stacy knew it wasn’t going to be a straight line.

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 4

Molly was sent off to play with her toys as Stacy went hunting through the house for the things she would need. There were still many baby items throughout the house. Molly’s bedroom still had a changing table where she got her diaper changed. She was still sleeping in a toddler bed, actually it was her baby bed with one side replaced with a bed rail going half way down the length of the bed. The garage was the next stop. She found a High Chair, the crib railing that had been removed when they turned the crib into a toddler bed, and she even found the baby car seat. The highchair and crib railing were brought into the house. Stacy managed to get the highchair cleaned and set up in the kitchen without Molly noticing. She got the crib railing put in the guest bedroom, she would need a little more time to get it put back on, but she also didn’t want to put it on before the first steps were taken. In the kitchen she found bibs and sippy cups. Stacy knew that Molly still used sippy cups from time to time like most typical 6 year olds, but normally she used regular cups. That however, was about to change.

Stacy took a deep breath and went to get Molly, figuring she would have a poopy diaper by now. Molly was in the Family room playing with her Fisher Price Little People doll house. As soon as Stacy entered the room she could smell Molly’s poopy diaper. Molly appeared unfazed by having a poopy diaper on, she was just happily playing with her toys sitting in a poopy diaper. She was definitely not your typical 6 year old.

Molly was brought to her room to get changed. Stacy had changed many diapers over the years, even with kids older than Molly, but this was her new granddaughter. A six year old who had no problem walking around in a wet and poopy diaper. The approach of withholding the diaper was tried, now it was time to try the opposite approach. Stacy got Molly cleaned up and quickly put a new diaper on her.

“Grandma,” Molly started to complain. “I wear panties, not diapers. I am a big girl.”

“Oh sweety, it is so much fun playing the big girl, but you are not a big girl yet.”

“I am too. I want my panties.”

“No panties Molly. I will never change a kid out of a poopy or wet diaper into regular panties. Only big girls who use the potty get to wear panties.”

“I do use the potty.”

“Pretending to use the potty like a big girl doesn’t count sweety. I just changed a very wet and messy diaper. Big girls who use the potty do not go around with wet and messy diapers. So, I cleaned you up and put a nice clean diaper on you.”

“I am a big girl! I am!” Molly said as tears started coming down her face.

“It is okay sweety, if you want to try to be a big girl and use the potty, just ask and I will take you to the potty and help you.” At this Stacy picked Molly up and carried her back to her toys. Stacy knew Molly was mad and frustrated, so on the way out of the bedroom she grabbed Molly’s teddy bear Josey.

Stacy had a lot of work to do before Molly’s bed time and she also had to feed Molly. Once she was sure that Molly wasn’t going to follow her, she got the crib railing out of the guest room and put it back on Molly’s bed. She then took all of Molly’s panties and hid them in the guest room where she was staying. She looked in to make sure Molly was okay before heading to the kitchen to make some dinner. Molly was still angry, she was just sitting there with Josey in her arms looking at her toys. Every now and then Molly would very quietly say, “But I AM a big girl.”

Now Stacy had to figure out how far she was going to take Molly tonight. What would she serve for dinner?

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 5

“Molly, time for dinner,” Stacy said as she entered the room.

Molly was playing with her FisherPrice dollhouse. Stacy went over and just picked her up and put her on her hip. Molly didn’t say anything, at least until they reached the kitchen.

“Who’s coming to visit?” Molly asked seeing the highchair.

“No one Molly it is just us.”

“Who high chair for?”

“You silly.”

“But I’m a big girl, not a baby,” Molly complained as Grandma started putting her down into the highchair. Molly put up as much resistance as she could, but grandma worked quickly to get the straps fastened. In the process of trying to avoid being strapped into the highchair, Stacy smelled the odor a diaper gives off when it is being peed in.

Once the tray was on, Molly finally stopped struggling. “Gran-ma,” Molly said in a defeated voice. “Why am I in the highchair. I am six, almost 7 years old, not a baby.”

“Silly little girl. Where else would you eat?” She stated as she went to get a bib. “All little girls in diapers eat in highchairs.”

“But I am a big girl.”

“Big girls do not go around in wet and poopy diapers. They use the potty.”

“I use the potty. I’m a big girl.”

“Really Molly. You are in a wet diaper right now and that was a very wet and poopy diaper I changed earlier. Big girls get all their pee-pee and poopy in the potty.”

Molly looked at Grandma with a strange look. Did she wet her diaper? When? How did Grandma know? Molly stuck her hand down and felt the front of the diaper, yes it was wet. While Molly was distracted, Stacy brought the bib over and started to put it on.

“What? I don’t need that.”

“It was here in the kitchen, obviously you still use them all the time. Anyways, all kids in high chairs wear bibs while eating.”

“I only wear a bib when wearing my fancy dresses, just in case. I don’t need a bib. I am a big girl.”

“Well, if you need one while in fancy dresses, then you need one all the time. I don’t like doing a lot of laundry, so we need to keep your clothes clean when you eat. Anyways, like I said earlier, all little girls eating in highchairs wear bibs.”

“But I am a big girl!”

“Maybe Molly I have made a mistake. If you are a big girl who can eat without making a mess, then I will let you eat at the table like a big girl and no bib. If you make a mess, then you will stay in the highchair with a bib whenever you have a diaper on.”

“Okay,” Molly quickly agreed not wanting to be in the highchair or wearing the bib. “Can I get out of the highchair now?” Molly asked as she reached behind her to take the bib off.

“No, No little one. Don’t take your bib off.” Stacy said as she turned around and saw what Molly was doing. “You first need to show me you can eat without making a mess. I can’t just put a little girl who pees and poops their diaper at the table without first seeing she can stay clean. So, if you can get through this meal staying clean, tomorrow I will let you eat at the table. No food in your hair . . .”

Molly started giggling “food in my hair – your silly gran-ma, I am not a baby.”

“. . . No food on your face, no food on your bib, no food on your hands, and no food on the tray to the highchair.”

Molly thought this was going to be easy. “Okay.” But as grandma brought over a bowl with Spaghetti-O’s with Meatballs, Molly was not as confident as she was before.

“I want my princess cup.” Molly stated as grandma handed her a sippy-cup with milk in it.

“Oh, which one is that,” Grandma asked?

“The pink one with Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, and Cinderella on it.”

Stacy looked in the cabinet and found the cup. “I am sorry Molly, that is a big girl cup. Little girls in diapers and high chairs don’t drink from big girl cups.”

Molly didn’t say anything, but slammed the sippy-cup down on the tray to the highchair. This unfortunately caused some of the spaghetti sauce to splash out of the bowl onto the tray. Molly was too frustrated to notice.

Grandma sat at the table and started eating her dinner. Molly just sat there looking at Grandma. After a few minutes Stacy decided to push one more button, “Oh, does my little granddaughter need grandma to feed her, her din-din?”

Molly gave grandma a very angry look, but it did cause her to pick up her spoon and start eating. Molly, like most 6 year olds, was unable to eat any kind of spaghetti without making a mess. The hands got messy when she would pick up a meatball with her fingers and eat it. The face got messy, well she is a 6 year old eating spaghetti. The bib got messy when occasionally some would fall off the spoon as she ate. The Sippy-cup got messy because the hands and face were messy, actually causing them to get messier each time she used the sippy-cup. The hair was fine, till she pushed a little aside when it fell in her face. The tray, well it had a lot of mess on it. Some from dropping off the spoon while eating, some from the spoon being put down on it while Molly went to get a drink, and some from her messy hands.

“Well, it looks like it is a good thing you were in the highchair with a bib. My little granddaughter certainly is a messy eater,” Grandma said while attacking Molly with a damp washcloth. Molly was then taken out of the highchair and had her diaper changed. Stacy then changed her into a pink blanket sleeper.

While getting her PJ’s on, Molly noticed that her bed had been turned into a crib. “Where’s my bed?”

“It is right there, what’s wrong?” Stacy said innocently.

“It’s a baby crib. Where is my bed?”

“Little girls who wear diapers all day, sleep in cribs. Big girl beds are for girls who wear panties all day and only wear diapers at night. So if you use the potty like a big girl you can have a big girl bed, but till then you need to be safe in a crib.”

Molly just started to cry holding tightly onto Josey. Occasionally, if you were listening real carefully, you could hear her say, “But I am a big girl.”

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 6

Over the next three days Molly struggled with all the baby things. She wanted to get out of the diapers so she could get rid of all the baby things. The stress of everything however, made it hard for her to be a big girl. She started sucking her thumb, something she hadn’t done for two years. Grandma didn’t like kids to suck thumbs, so whenever she saw Molly with a thumb in her mouth, it would be replaced with a pacifier (Grandma called it a Binky). She hadn’t managed to get any of her pee-pee or poopy in the potty. She usually didn’t even know if she had wet or messed her diapers. Molly had never paid any attention to her pee-pee or poopy while in the diaper, but now she needed to change that.

Stacy was seeing Molly turn into a 2 year old with all the babying. She knew Molly did not like it, but she also knew Molly had to at least unconsciously enjoy the babying, since she was acting more and more babyish. Stacy really didn’t want to send Molly to school next week in a diaper, so it was time to take it to the next level. It was now time to really motivate Molly to use the potty. Stacy had learned long ago that you could not toilet train a 6 year old the same way you do a toddler. Molly needed to do this on her own, and want to use the potty. Stacy had not asked Molly to use the potty, and Molly had not asked to use it either.

Thursday morning followed the same routine as the other days. After breakfast Molly was changed out of her nighttime diaper and she was dressed by Grandma. Like usual, Molly was carried out of her bedroom. This time however, she was carried right out the front door. Molly was horrified and immediately buried her face into Grandma’s shoulder. She had spent all this time in the house. She never thought Grandma would take her outside. Now she was being carried out of the house and being strapped into her old baby car seat. She looked around and was glad that none of the other kids in the neighborhood were outside.

Once they were underway, Molly asked the question that she desperately wanted but didn’t want to know the answer to, “Where we goin’ Gran-ma?”

“Well sweety, Grandmas like to dress their little granddaughters in the cutest outfits they can find.”

Molly smiled.

“So, we are going shopping for some new clothes, just for you. I wanted to wait till I knew if you were going to stay in the diapers or if you were going to be in panties. Now that I know my granddaughter needs her diapers and will be in them for a long time, I want to get her some cute outfits that will fit over the diapers. Many of your outfits don’t fit you anymore because they will not go over the diapers.”

“But Gran-ma me don’t want diapers.”

“There is my silly Granddaughter again. If she was a big girl and COULD use a potty, she would have by now. No, no, my little Granddaughter needs her diapers and it will be a long time before she will want to give them up.”

“No Gran-ma me don’t want diapers. I go potty. I big girl,” Molly pleaded.

“Oh don’t worry sweety, I love my little granddaughter in her cute little diapers. Mommy and Daddy will not care if you are in diapers all the time. They love Molly, they don’t care if you are wearing diapers all the time. I am sure your friends will not care either once you go back to school next week. We just need to get you some clothes that will fit over the diapers and make life easier living with diapers.”

During the last few days, Molly hadn’t thought about Mommy, Daddy, friends, or school. She was convinced that Mommy would be mad at her for being in diapers all the time. Grandma wouldn’t send her to school in diapers . . . would she? First graders didn’t wear diapers to school. Molly didn’t know of any kids who wore diapers to school. Six year olds didn’t wear diapers, they used the potty. Yeah, some kids had accidents at school, she had had some herself, but no one wore diapers. Grandma use to be a teacher, she knew this. Didn’t she?

They were going shopping for . . . DIAPER CLOTHES? Molly didn’t understand. Yeah a few things Grandma had tried to put on over the diapers didn’t fit, but most of them did. What were diaper clothes? Six year olds didn’t wear diapers, so they didn’t make clothes for six year olds in diapers. Did they? If they didn’t make clothes to fit over diapers for six year olds, what was grandma going to get? Baby clothes? No, six year olds can not fit into baby clothes. Can they? I don’t need clothes for my diapers. I can use the potty, just take the diapers off. Then I will use the potty like before. Won’t I?

Molly was struggling with all these questions. Stacy could see the wheels turning in her head. She wished she knew what was going through Molly’s mind. Stacy knew she was on a tough shopping trip. Molly wore size 5. She needed size – T – clothing, but most just went up to - 4T. She knew that – 5T clothing existed, but it was harder to find. Stacy also needed to get some very babyish clothing to push the issue on Molly that Diapers were for babies. If she didn’t want to be a baby, she needed to use the potty. Today Molly would also face getting her diaper changed in public, eating in a highchair at a restaurant, and hopefully she would poop her diaper while out and about. She knew it would be a tough day for Molly, but either Molly was going to decide to be in diapers all the time or she would decide she wanted to use the potty.

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 7

The first stop was at Babies-R-Us. Molly was put in the seat of the cart. She liked riding in the seat . . . well she did before today. Grandma was buying some cute dresses and overalls. Molly was confused when she saw that the overalls had snaps down the legs. Grandma told her this made it easier to change her diapers. Grandma was having fun buying all sorts of stuff. Molly kept looking around making sure there was no one in the store she knew. She liked some of the clothes Grandma bought, especially some of the pretty dresses. Although she liked big bird – she didn’t really like having it in the middle of one of the outfits, but the rest were nice.

Before heading to the checkout stand, Molly was taken into the changing room to get changed. She didn’t realize what Grandma was about to do till they walked into the changing room. She initially thought Grandma was going potty, but when she saw the changing table she started to panic.

“No Gran-ma, not here” she pleaded.

“You certainly are a silly little granddaughter,” she commented. “Where would you like me to change your diaper, out on one of the changing tables out in the store?”

“No Gran-ma, at home.”

“Silly girl, little ones in diapers are changed when their diapers are wet or messy. It doesn’t matter where they are. You have a wet diaper. I need to change it before you get a rash. Oh that reminds me – we also need to get you some diaper rash cream.”

Molly’s first diaper change in public went fine, until the diaper was going back on and another mother and baby came into the changing room. They briefly exchanged a few words and then Molly and Grandma left the changing room. Molly was totally embarrassed. She didn’t want to go through that again.

“Why can’t we wait till we get home to change my diapers?”

“Diapers are changed when they are wet or messy. If you can keep your diapers dry and clean, then I will not need to change them while we are out. Just tell Grandma when you want to use the potty and I will take you.”

Molly did not respond. They paid for the items and headed off to the next store. They visited two more stores before heading off to McDonalds for lunch. Molly was constantly looking around to make sure there was no one she knew. All her attention on the people around her didn’t allow her to focus on staying dry and clean. Molly was changed again before they ordered food.

After getting their food, Grandma put Molly into a highchair. Molly wanted to throw a temper tantrum, but was afraid to in front of all these people. Soon she was happily eating and didn’t even realize she was in a high chair. After lunch Grandma let her play some in the play structure. At first she was hesitant to do much, constantly pushing her dress down to cover her diapers. But it didn’t take long for her to just climb all over the structure without worrying about people seeing the diaper. She was having too much fun to worry about such things.

Stacy sat watching Molly play. She was actually surprised how easily Molly had taken to showing off her diapers. She had taught 6 year olds and knew that they were only beginning to care about people seeing their panties. Most of the time, they wouldn’t care about such things. Stacy however, was surprised that Molly had the same attitude toward the diapers. Most average intelligence 6 year olds she had worked with over the years who still wore diapers, would work hard to hide the diapers in all situations.

The last stop for the day was at a drug store. It was 3:15pm when Stacy lifted Molly up and put her in the cart’s seat. This is when Grandma noticed that Molly had a poopy diaper. She just put Molly down into the seat without Molly saying anything about the poopy diaper. As they entered the baby isle, Grandma started commenting without expecting real answers.

“Well, what does grandma’s little baby girl need in here? Let’s see. With that poopy diaper you have on we will definitely need more baby wipes. And yes, we need some diaper rash cream.”

Molly thought about it once she heard grandma comment about the poopy diaper. Did she have a poopy diaper on? Moving around a little in the seat indicated that she probably did. When did it happen?

Molly was shaken out of her thoughts when Grandma picked up some baby bottles and put them in the cart. Then some baby food and some more diapers. That is when Molly saw a possible way to get out of the diapers that Grandma might go for.

“Gran-ma,” Molly hesitantly asked. She couldn’t believe she was about to ask for this, but it was better than diapers. Molly pointed at the display next to the diapers and said, “Training Pants?”

Stacy looked at what Molly was pointing at. It was some cloth training pants. “Oh, does my baby girl want to pretend to be a big girl?”

“NO! I want to be a big girl. No pretend.”

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 8

Grandma bought three different types of training pants. She got some of the disposible Pull-Ups, some with a plastic outer shell, and some cloth ones that were pink with little flowers on them. The pink ones are the ones that Molly had pointed to. They were not panties, but they sort of looked like big girl panties. After getting them, Grandma asked a clerk where she could change Molly’s poopy diaper. At that moment, Molly made up her mind that she was going to work hard to get out of the diapers.

Molly tried over the next 24 hours to go in the potty instead of the diaper. She didn’t know why, but she just couldn’t. For 6, almost 7 years, she had never paid any attention to her pee or poop while in a diaper. If the diaper was on, she used them without thinking. She rarely even knew when they were wet or messy. While getting her poopy diaper changed in the afternoon, she just started crying and couldn’t stop.

Stacy didn’t ask any questions, she knew Molly wanted out of the diapers and that Molly had not used the toilet once since she showed up. Once the new diaper was on, Stacy picked Molly up and carried her over to the rocking chair and just started rocking Molly, telling her that everything would be okay. They rocked for over a half an hour before Molly said anything.

“Gran-ma,” Molly quietly said. “I am a big girl. I want my panties.”

Stacy knew the future depended on this moment. She was also running out of time, she only had 2 more days with Molly before she was suppose to go back to school. She thought for a moment before responding, “Molly, big girls use the potty. Do you want to use the Potty?”

“I twy Gwan-ma.”

Stacy did not expect that response. She had been puzzled by the reality of the situation and maybe it now required an alteration to the approach. How could Molly be a six year old who used the potty in panties one day, yet not be able to use the potty the next day while in a diaper. She didn’t even appear to know when the diaper was wet or messy. Molly was 6 years old. She had used the potty for peeing since she was 3 years old. Yes, she had always been in diapers at night and had only used diapers for her bowel movements, but she wore panties most of the time and very rarely had accidents. Could it be true that Molly was unable to know she had to go while in a diaper but did when she was in panties? Could she not know when she had gone in a diaper?

“Well, do you want Grandma to help you use the potty?”

“I can use the potty if you give me my panties.”

“I told you Molly, I will not change a little girl out of wet or poopy diapers and into panties. But if you want Grandma to teach you how to use the potty like a big girl, I will let you wear training panties. You will have to use the potty though, if not it will be back to diapers.”

“Really Gran-ma? I don’t have to wear diapers?”

“No, you don’t have to wear diapers if you can use the potty. I mean no more diapers. No diapers during the day for pee-pee or poopy. No night time diapers either. No diapers.”

“But Gran-ma.”

“Big girls do not use diapers Molly, they use the potty for pee-pee and poopy.”

“Gran-mmmmmmaaaaa”

“It’s okay sweety, Grandma will help you learn to use the potty.”

“But I need my diapers for my poopy.”

“I know you think that you do Molly, but you are a big 6 year old. 6 year olds do not go poopy in diapers, they use the potty for pee-pee AND poopy.”

“I’m scared Gran-ma.”

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 9

Saturday morning started Molly’s toilet training. Stacy was concerned. On Friday, Molly had two bowel movements in one day and both happened before 3:00. Molly’s regularity of her bowel movements allowed Molly to poop her diaper when she got home from school each day. It was unclear to Stacy if Molly ever had any true bowel control. She wondered if Molly was just regular enough that her mom managed to get the diaper on in time. Stacy also had no idea how much control Molly had of her bladder. Over the last 5 days she has shown no sign of having any bowel or bladder control.

Molly was gotten out of her crib and changed on the changing table. This morning however, she was put into cloth training pants. Stacy struggled with which ones to put her in. Confused by Molly’s inability to know she is peeing or pooping in a diaper, yet able to use a potty in panties. Stacy decided to go with the straight cloth training pants. She figured she would be doing a lot of laundry today, since she only had three pairs.

Molly was excited to be back in panties. Well they were not like panties, but they were definitely NOT diapers. For the first time all week, Molly got to eat breakfast at the table, with her favorite princess cup. No bib! No sippy-cup! No little cut up pieces!

Stacy had toilet trained many six year olds over the years. She knew the child had to do this on their own, and want to do it. She could ask if the child had to go, but not very often. The better way to phrase things was to ask if she is dry and clean, on a regular basis.

Four hours after getting out of diapers, Molly had used the toilet for peeing twice and had wet her training pants once. It was a pretty good start to the efforts. Other than the extra focus on toileting issues, it was progressing like a typical morning. Molly was playing on the floor in the living room while Stacy watched some TV. Molly moving slightly got Stacy’s attention. She looked up just in time to watch Molly poop and then go back to the position she was in before. Stacy was shocked. Molly just pooped her pants with no apparent awareness of the action. She was now sitting in her poopy pants playing with her toys, still showing no awareness of what had happened.

“Molly,” Stacy asked? “Are you clean and dry?”

Grandma had asked this question many times this morning and Molly was use to it. She didn’t know the answer, so her first response is to put her hand down in her crotch to feel. “Dwy Gran-ma.”

“Clean or Messy?”

Molly looked at her Grandma with a quizzical look. This was a new question. Why was Grandma asking a new question? How was she supposed to come up with the answer? Wetting, even with training pants, would cause her pants to be at least somewhat wet. She could feel wet pants? But . . . how could she tell if she was messy?

“Clean or Messy Molly?”

“Clean . . . . Messy?” Molly said, confused as to how she was suppose to answer. Finally she put her hand behind her to feel her bottom. With her eyes wide, she felt the poop in her pants. Unsure of when she had done it, and confused as to how she could poop her panties without knowing, Molly answered, “Messy.”

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 10

Molly was a mess. Pants, training pants, and her shirt all had to go in the wash. As Molly lay on the changing table in nothing but her socks, Stacy paused, trying to figure out what she was going to put Molly in; Diaper, disposable Pull-Ups, the training pants with the plastic outer shell, or the straight cloth training pants?

Molly sensed the hesitation and got straight to the point, “Do I have to go back to diapers Gran-ma?”

Molly’s question surprised Stacy. Did Molly want to go back to diapers? Was the accident and lack of awareness done on purpose, due to a conscious or unconscious decision? Molly was struggling with something. The only thing Stacy couldn’t answer was, what.

“No Molly, but I think you need a bit more than the training pants you have been wearing. You have been doing really good getting your pee-pee in the potty, but those training pants are not made for poopy accidents, only pee-pee ones. Let’s try these till you have some success getting the poopy in the potty,” Stacy said grabbing a pair of the training pants with the plastic outer shell.

Once the pants were on Molly, Stacy realized that most of Molly’s clothes would not fit over the puffy Training Pants. It was time for one of the pretty new dresses they bought. Molly picked a cute yellow dress they had gotten at Babies-R-Us. They had ruffled bottom bloomers, which Molly really liked. Once the outfit was on, Molly asked for pig-tails. With hair ribbons and bows in her hair holding the pig-tails, Stacy stood back and smiled. As Molly walked down the hall back to her toys, her very puffy and ruffled bottom stuck out from the bottom of her dress. Stacy was surprised at how young Molly looked in that outfit. No one would have guessed she was 6, she looked more like a 3 year old. Molly loved it, but Stacy strongly suspected she wouldn’t be seen outside of the house in that outfit.

Stacy spent the rest of the day keeping a close eye on Molly. From what she could observe, Molly knew just before she had to go pee-pee. Molly would go running off to the bathroom and most of the time she would make it. Obviously, Molly’s time in just a diaper and not using the potty had impacted her. Molly was upset by each wetting accident. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t get to the potty in time. From what Stacy could see, Molly only had wetting accidents on the way to the potty. She knew she was about to go and only needed to gain that awareness earlier.

Stacy figured that bladder control would mostly be back in a day or two. Bowel control was a different issue. Molly appeared to have no bowel control or awareness. All this effort was done to get her to go poop in the potty, but the question now is whether or not that was physically possible. Stacy knew, for a child to gain control, they needed to have one of the three levels of awareness; awareness that you are about to go, awareness that you are going, and awareness that you have just gone. From what Stacy could observe, Molly hadn’t even reached the first stage, awareness that she had just gone. Stacy also knew that Molly had to have this awareness before she would be able to gain any level of control over her bowels.

Okay, Stacy had one more week before Molly’s parents came back. Technically, Molly was supposed to go back to school on Monday, but it was easy for Stacy to just keep her home for that week. If Stacy was careful, Molly probably would not even know kids were going back to school. At six, she hadn’t yet gained firm understanding of time and date, and was not yet able to pick up on little things to help her determine what day of the week it was. Stacy had hoped to go to Church tomorrow, but decided not to so Molly wouldn’t pick up on the fact that it was Sunday.

That night, after Molly had been put in her night-time diaper and put down to sleep in her crib, Stacy started to map out what she was going to do. She suspected that by Monday morning, Molly would have her bladder control back. Teaching Molly when she had had a bowel movement, was going to be a bit harder. Molly had taken the lead and wanted to gain control. Stacy worked on creating an incentive program to help Molly in this process. She would also talk to Molly’s mom on Sunday about bringing Molly to a doctor, to make sure there wasn’t any biological reason for her not knowing when she has had a bowel movement.

Sunday brought another day of toilet training a kid who was acting more like a 3 year old than a 6 year old. Molly picked a very babyish looking outfit to wear, she was playing with more of her preschooler toys. She wouldn’t get far from Stacy, showing her everything she did. Molly did like getting a sticker each time she could properly identify when she was dry and clean versus wet and messy.

Molly did wet her pants once and pooped them twice. Stacy viewed the one wetting accident as a good sign. It was ONLY once. The training pants with the plastic outer covering worked well to contain the poopy, but they also required the use of Baby Powder to deal with the heat and moisture build-up within the garment. It took a lot of Baby Powder, and they puffed out a lot, making her look and smell like she was diapered. Most of Molly’s clothes wouldn’t even fit over them. Stacy knew that for practical reasons, she had to get Molly wearing the Disposable Training Pants. She didn’t mind dealing with cleaning cloth training pants or diapers, but it wasn’t practical in today’s society outside of the home. Schools and babysitters would insist on some type of disposable protective undergarment for sanitary reasons. In diapers Molly had a history of just using the diaper for both pee-pee and poopy, but would she do the same in Pull-Ups. They were diapers, just in a design that could be pulled up and down.

Shortly after dinner, Molly got a call from Mommy. There had been a few of these calls throughout the last week, but this time, Molly was telling her Mommy all about how she was getting her pee-pee in the potty. Stacy smiled at this, Molly sounded like a proud 3 year old being potty trained for the first time. Wearing 5T overalls with Big Bird on the front and snaps down the legs, made her look 3 years old too, especially with the pig-tails tied up with ribbons and bows.

When Molly was done talking, it was Stacy’s turn. She got the doctor information and explained her plan for the week. Molly’s mom, although disappointed, was not surprised by Stacy’s suspicion that Molly had no bowel control. She had suspected this, but was hopeful since she usually managed to only poop when in a diaper. She suspected that the incident a year earlier had possibly done some damage. The doctor back then had warned that the way Molly’s body was dealing with the push to finish her toilet training was an immature reflex that might need to be explored once she was better, if she continued to have problems. Molly’s mom was hoping the regularity with the bowel movement and Molly getting her poopy mostly in the diaper was a sign that she did have some level of control and the problems were not serious.

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 11

Monday morning brought about a few changes, and a few phone calls. Stacy got Molly up and changed her out of her night time diaper and put her into a disposable training pant – Pull-Ups. In an effort to avoid Molly unconsciously viewing them as diapers and just going in them without thinking, she put a cloth diaper inside. Stacy was hoping the feeling of cloth, would at least make Molly think she was in cloth training panties. Molly was then dressed in an outfit that actually made her look like a 6 year old. After breakfast Stacy called the school, telling them Molly would be out all week due to medical reasons. She called the doctor and set up an appointment for Tuesday afternoon. She then called her friend to arrange the day’s events. Molly was too busy being a little kid to realize what was going on.

“Okay sweety, time to go,” Stacy said picking up the very packed diaper bag.

“Where are we going Gran-ma,” Molly asked?

“Well sweety, Gran-ma needs to get a few things at her house, so we are going on a trip.” This was a gamble. It was a 2 hour car ride to her house, yet Molly was still struggling getting to the potty in time. The trip back wasn’t going to be an issue, she would do that tonight once Molly was asleep. She would have liked at least one more day before forcing Molly on a trip like this, but the doctor appointment forced this step today. “Now go in and try to go potty before we get in the car.”

Molly went off to the potty with Stacy following behind. Just like a toddler learning to use the potty, Molly has had Stacy with her every time she has gone potty over the last week. Once Molly did her pee-pee in the potty, Stacy praised her for being such a big girl for getting her pee-pee in the potty. Molly always smiled and took pride at this praise, even though she knew it was not normal for 6 year olds to be praised for going pee-pee in the potty. Then, before Molly put her training pants back on, Stacy would check them to make sure they were still dry.

Stacy had planned the trip very carefully. She picked spots to stop every 30 minutes, so Molly could go potty. It made the trip last 3 hours, but Molly did manage to get there without wetting her Pull-Ups. About 2 hours into the trip, she did poop her Pull-ups, and like usual she appeared to have no awareness that she was pooping or that she had pooped. Stacy changed her in the car, at a highway rest stop. Molly was actually use to being changed in the car, since she often wore diapers on long car trips. Her mom says she always falls asleep in the car, so as along as she wears diapers to sleep, she has to wear diapers in the car.

They reached town at lunch time, so they stopped at one of the burger joints in town. On their way to their seats, they passed the highchairs. Molly looked at them as they passed.

“Do you want to get a highchair to sit in?”

Molly hesitated before answering, “N - - No. No! I am a big girl. Big girls don’t sit in highchairs.”

Stacy smiled at this. Molly was struggling with being a big girl and still wanting to be babied. It reminded Stacy that she needed to come up with something to replace the diaper/baby time that Molly has been use to each afternoon. After lunch, Stacy had another surprise for Molly. A surprise Molly was definitely not prepared for.

“Molly,” Stacy said. “I have to do some running around town to get a few things, so my friend Jill is going to watch you till I am done. She runs a daycare center, so there will be other kids there for you to play with.”

Molly was silent. She was scared. She didn’t want Grandma to leave her with anyone. Who were these other kids? Would they be mean to her once they found she was in Pull-Ups? 6 year olds where not suppose to wear Pull-Ups.

They went straight to Jill’s Daycare center. Molly was use to Daycare centers; she spent a lot of time in them because her mom worked and was raising Molly on her own. Molly liked Mrs. Francis, the teacher who ran the Daycare center she usually went to. Mrs. Francis was always so gentle and kind when getting Molly out of a poopy diaper. She wouldn’t let the other kids tease Molly for pooping in diapers instead of the potty. Even though Molly liked her Daycare center, she didn’t want to stay at Jill’s Daycare. She wanted to be with Grandma.

Jill greeted the two of them. She gave Molly a tour of the Daycare. When they reached the bathroom, Molly saw that there was a changing table in there that was big enough to fit her. She saw lots of Diapers and Pull-Ups on the shelves under the changing table. There was a small baby potty chair and on the toilet there was an extra ring on it to make it fit little kids like her. While Molly was looking at all the stuff in the bathroom, Jill pulled down her pants and placed her on the toilet. This surprised and embarrassed Molly.

“Now be a good girl and go pee-pee in the potty. We want to keep those Pull-Ups nice and dry while you are here. Once you are done, we will go out to the playground where the other kids are.”

It didn’t take long for Molly to go pee-pee in the toilet. Jill congratulated her on being such a big girl for using the potty. Then Jill did something else that was not expected. She lifted Molly up and laid her down on the changing table. She wiped Molly with a wipe, checked the pull-ups to make sure they were still dry and then re‑dressed Molly. Part of Molly wanted to object that she wasn’t a baby, but part of Molly enjoyed the attention and care Jill was giving her.

Jill took Molly’s hand and led her outside to the playground. There were five kids out there and two adults. Looking at the kids, Molly thought that most were preschoolers.

“Why don’t you go play with the other kids Molly,” Stacy said. “I will be back in a few hours to pick you up, then we will go out to dinner.”

Molly reluctantly went off to play with the other kids. Stacy talked with Jill for a little bit more before leaving. The idea was simple, put Molly around other children to see if she would pee or poop her pants when they were around. Jill’s daycare was a safe place, since it had kids from 3 to 6 and some of them were still not completely toilet trained. If Molly pooped her Pull-Ups, Jill would call Stacy to come back.

As the afternoon progressed, Molly learned that the oldest kid there, Emily, was her age – 6. Emily was protective of the little ones, but let the adults take care of them. They played on the playground for a while and then they went in and did some painting. Some of the kids used finger paints and others used brushes. In the middle of story time, Molly went running off to the bathroom. Jill followed her.

Jill praised Molly for getting to the potty in time and using it like a big girl. Even though Molly felt Jill was treating her like a baby, she still took pride in the accomplishment and enjoyed the praise. Again, she was lifted off the toilet and laid down on the changing table for Jill to wipe her clean before checking the Pull-Up and redressing her. Jill then brought Molly back to circle time to hear the rest of the story.

Some of the kids had fallen asleep. Jill picked them up and carried them into the next room where there were some cribs and youth beds. Three of the kids were down for naps. The other three kids got to play with the toys, but where told to be quiet.

Emily and Molly were playing in the house and dress-up area, when Emily turned to Molly and said, “Come on baby girl, mommy will take care of you.”

Molly looked at Emily and played along, “Okay mommy.” Emily took Molly’s hand and led her up to Jill.

“Jill,” Emily said. “The baby needs her diapers changed.”

Molly didn’t realize that she had pooped in her Pull-Ups. She just thought that Emily was playing house. Still believing that they were playing, Molly said “goo – goo – gaa – gaa” and stuck her thumb in her mouth.

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Molly’s Deep Dark Secret

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 12

“Oh what a cute little baby you have here Emily,” Jill said as she picked Molly up. “Thank you for being such a big girl and helping with the little ones.” Jill then proceeded toward the bathroom.

As Emily went back to playing, Molly started to get confused. Molly started to wiggle in order to get down. “I wanna go play with Emily,” whined Molly.

“Just as soon as we get you cleaned up and out of those poopy pants.”

Molly stopped wiggling and looked at Jill. She then looked over at Emily who was back in the play house. She now knew this was no longer playing. Emily had just established herself as the big-kid and Molly the baby.

Jill quickly went about changing Molly and when she was done, she held out a pull-up and a diaper, wanting Molly to choose which she was going to wear.

“I’m not a baby.”

“Oh really, I haven’t seen a lot of big girls who suck their thumbs and say, goo-goo – gaa – gaa”

“I was just preten-ing”

Jill smiled. “Okay, big girl. Diapers or Pull-Ups?”

“Me big girl. No, Diapers.”

“I know you are a big girl Molly, but even big girls wear diapers when they can’t get their pee-pee and poopy in the potty. If you are still trying to use the potty, you should wear the Pull-Ups. If you don’t want to try, I will just put you in a diaper and you will not have to worry about getting to the potty anymore, for the rest of the day.”

“Gran-ma?”

“Oh don’t worry about your Grandma little one, it is okay with her if you are in diapers.”

“Diapers forever,” Molly inquired?

“No, just till you want to try again.”

Molly sat and thought . . . . Jill said nothing and just let her think.

“Me twy. Me big girl. Those pwease,” Molly said pointing at the Pull-Ups.

Jill now knew what Stacy was talking about. Molly wanted to be a big girl, but wasn’t sure if she wanted to give up the baby treatment. Molly spent way to much time thinking about Diapers versus Pull-Ups. Any kid who was ready to be a big girl, would not have even thought about the diapers. Jill was glad Emily had chosen to wear panties this morning. If she had chosen diapers when her mom asked her, Jill was fairly certain that Molly would have chosen diapers now. As Jill carried Molly back to the play area, she wondered if Emily would tell Molly her deep dark secret.

Emily did not share her secret. Molly didn’t really give her a chance to. Molly kept choosing to play with things away from Emily. At 5 o’clock Stacy showed up and the two of them went out to dinner. With a little help from Stacy telling her to go potty, Molly managed to keep her Pull-Ups dry. After dinner, they went back to Jill’s place. By then all the kids were gone.

While Molly went off to play, the ladies talked about their observations of Molly and what they felt her issues really were. Jill and Stacy had worked together and helped many children over the years. They would brainstorm off each other when they met a challenge. Molly was definitely an interesting challenge. Both of them felt she really did have NO ability to control her bowels. Both of them felt that part of Molly did not want to grow up.

At seven thirty Molly was changed into a nighttime diaper and put to bed in one of the cribs. Jill and Stacy talked till almost 10pm. They got Molly strapped into her booster seat without her even waking up.

Molly woke Tuesday morning in her own crib hugging Josey. Molly hugged Josey tight and then started to tell her all about her trip and stuff that had happened over the last week. Stacy was listening through the baby monitor. Molly was telling her teddy bear all about the daycare and the nice lady named Jill. Molly told Josey that Jill offered her the choice between diapers and training pants, and Jill would have let her switch back and forth if she wanted to. Stacy smiled when she heard Molly tell Josey that the nice teacher Jill said big girls can wear diapers when they want a break from working on getting all the pee-pee and poopy in the potty.

Stacy let Molly talk some more with Josey before she went in to get her out of the crib. She knew that little kids used play and make-believe to help them process and understand their world and experiences. It also gave Stacy an insight into Molly’s thinking. The one thing she was wanting to hear finally was said.

“I do try Josey. I try really hard to get my poopy in the potty. It just goes in my pants. No Josey, gwown ups don’t beweave me when I tell them I twy. I don’t know how Emily knew I did a poopy. I don’t know when I go poopy in my pants, but everyone else does. Maybe Josey, maybe, I am still am baby. No other six year olds go poopy in their pants, they can get it in the potty. I can’t do that Josey, if I have to wear diapers or pull-ups to school, they will make me go back to preschool. First graders have to wear big girl panties. No Josey, Kindergarteners don’t wear training pants or diapers either. Yeah I know I wore them for awhile when I was in Kindergarten, but that is only because the doctor made them. No silly bear, not even a doctor can make them have a first grader in diapers.”

Once the conversation shifted away from pee-pee and poopy, Stacy decided it was time to get Molly up and changed out of her wet diaper. She was dressed up all pretty in a nice dress for the doctor. Again, she was put in Pull-Ups. The morning went just like the others, she played and managed to get her pee in the potty. She pooped the Pull-Up once before they left for the doctor’s office.

Molly’s doctor was a little surprised her mom wasn’t with her, but she was even more surprised that Molly was in Pull-Ups. Stacy explained the situation to her, and outlined some observations she had made over the last week. She talked about the process that was followed over the last week and why she felt it didn’t work. The doctor did some tests in the office, ordered some blood tests, and arranged for some more extensive testing the next day at the hospital.

Molly was glad Grandma had brought Josey along. As more testing was done, Josey was hugged tighter and tighter. Grandma worked to console her as much as she could. The doctor actually did get to see the issue first hand. Just as the doctor was finishing up explaining things to Stacy and giving her the information about the testing tomorrow, she saw Molly poop her diapers and continue playing. She did agree with Stacy, it did appear that Molly was completely unaware of the whole process.

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 13

Over the next three days Molly made progress in her ability to get all her pee-pee in the potty. Even when in a diaper, Molly managed to ask to use the potty for peeing. She had just woken up from a nap, and asked to use the potty. She made it and kept the diaper dry. The testing showed that there had been nerve damage that was impacting Molly’s ability to recognize the need or action of having a bowel movement. This really changed the focus of the toilet training. Stacy was now working on getting Molly to recognize the need to pee, even if in a diaper. She knew that kids with no bowel control were much easier to manage if they wore diaper, not pull-ups or training pants. Stacy also knew that Molly needed to grow up and feel like a 6 year old, while accepting some baby things like diapers.

After talking with Jill, Stacy made some plans that they felt would teach Molly many lessons. Jill also hoped it would help Emily grow up too. Stacy wasn’t sure if Molly would be ready for school on Monday or how grown up she would be by the time her mom came back on Sunday, but she was happy that at least some progress was made while they were away on the honeymoon. Stacy adored her new granddaughter.

The next day when Molly got up, Grandma asked her a strange question. “Diapers or Pull-Ups?” Molly had worn Pull-ups the last few days and couldn’t understand why Grandma was asking the question. She was a big girl – wasn’t she? Big girls don’t wear diapers – do they? Grandma was asking this question just like she asked, Piggies or Ponies? when doing her hair. Like it was no big deal and normal for a 6 year old to be choosing between diapers and Pull-ups. She wanted Pull-Ups, didn’t she? But why was grandma asking? What if she chose a diaper? Would Grandma be mad? Could she go back to Pull-Ups? Molly looked at Grandma with a quizzical look.

Stacy smiled as she saw Molly struggle with the simple question. Molly would be asked this question every morning when she got changed out of her night-time diaper, but for now Stacy knew this was a new question for Molly. She also thought it was cute and a good advancement that Molly was not asking for regular underwear. Since Stacy knew Molly didn’t really have enough information to answer the question intelligently, she added to the information.

"Molly, if you want to be a big girl, you can wear Pull-ups. If you want to be a little girl, you can wear diapers. It is up to you. In Pull-Ups, you will be expected to use the potty for all your pee-pee and tell Grandma when they are wet or messy. In Pull-Ups you will be expected to act like a 6 year old. If you wear diapers, you will not be allowed to take them off by yourself. You can still use the potty, but Grandma will have to help you. Little kids in diapers use the diapers for pee-pee and poopy, so if you do not use the potty, it will be okay. I will check to see if you need to be changed, you don’t have to worry about telling me. The rules are the same, little kids in diapers are treated like little kids in diapers. Highchair, bibs, sippy-cups or bottles, and lots of other little kid things. It is your choice, big girl or little girl today? Pull-Ups or Diapers? Grandma doesn’t care. I love my new granddaughter whether she is being a little girl or big girl.

Molly was in shock. It seemed strange to be asked such a question. She had worked so hard over the last few days to be a big girl and get to the potty for all her pee-pee. It was a lot of work, and although she was proud of her ability to use the potty, it was a lot of work.

Stacy saw Molly thinking this all over and decided to add some more information. “Molly, I will ask you that question every morning and every time your Pull-Ups need to be changed because of being wet or messy. If you choose diapers, you will not be asked the question until the next day. If you want Pull-Ups after successfully using the potty, just ask, but no one will expect that, if you are wearing diapers. Little kids in diapers, usually stay in them all day. I know most 6 year olds usually do not wear diapers during the day, but some do. And today, you are going to go play with a friend of yours, another 6 year old, who is being asked this same question right now, just like you.”

This caught Molly’s attention. “Who Grandma? Who?” Molly had been told many times that there were other 6 year olds who had trouble getting all their pee-pee and poopy in the potty, but had not met any. She didn’t really believe other 6 year olds still wore diapers and Pull-ups during the day, but she did hope. Today she was going to meet one. Wait a minute, did grandma just say this was a friend? Someone she knew? Who? Who could it be? “Who Grandma? Who?”

“Now, now, that is Grandma’s little secret, but first we need to go on a drive to Jill’s Daycare. Okay, we have a long drive ahead of us. Which is it going to be, Diapers or Pull-Ups.”

Molly remembered the last drive up to Jill’s Daycare. It was hard work staying dry for the long car ride. Grandma did say it was okay to wear a diaper, didn’t she. Molly kind of liked the idea of taking a break. It really was a lot of hard work getting to the potty all the time. The little kids at Jill’s Daycare didn’t care if she wore diapers or Pull-Ups. Emily already knew she pooped in her pants. “Diapers? Gwan-ma?”

Stacy smiled. She was kind of hoping Molly would choose diapers. It would make the trip a lot easier. It would also give her one last chance to baby her granddaughter before the parents came back. Stacy took full advantage of the opportunity and dressed Molly in the most babyish thing she could find. She put Molly’s hair in pig-tails, with ribbons and bows. She looked adorable, and they could go anywhere without anyone guessing she was 6 years old. She looked three, and from past experience, Stacy knew she would act like a 3 year old too.

Over the next two hours, Molly was having a lot of fun being a baby. She liked the security of the highchair and even asked for a baby bottle instead of a sippy-cup. The first time she had to pee, she knew ahead of time and was aware when she decided to just let it go in the diaper. The second time, however, she didn’t know till it was actually coming out. Molly felt no stress and was not upset about going in her diaper. She didn’t even bother to tell Grandma. Little kids just kept playing and didn’t worry about such things. Today, Molly wasn’t going to either. She was having fun, and wasn’t going to worry about such big girl things. She was playing with some little kid toys when Grandma told her it was time to get ready to go.

After a quick diaper change, they were off on the drive to Jill’s Daycare Center. The trip went much faster this time, since they didn’t have to stop every 30 minutes to take Molly to the bathroom. They drove straight through with no stops. They did not however, go straight to the daycare center. First stop was Grandma’s house. Molly got to see the house for the first time. She really liked the playset in the back-yard, but Grandma said there wasn’t time today to play on it. Molly’s wet and messy diaper was changed before they went to their next stop. Molly didn’t know where they were going and didn’t really care. Well not until she saw where they were pulling into. It was an Elementary School.

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 14

“Gwan-ma?” Molly asked. She didn’t really need to say anything else, her tone said everything Stacy needed to know what the question was.

“This is where I use to teach Molly. I need to pick something up from one of the teachers and we are also picking up a Kindergartener going to Jill’s Daycare.”

Molly still wasn’t sure about this and was sucking real hard on her pacifier when Grandma came around to get her out of the car. She grabbed onto Grandma real tight. Stacy just smiled at this. If Molly was ever going to be able to wear diapers to school, this first visit to a school would need to be a positive experience. Stacy knew everyone would think Molly was 3 years old, so she didn’t see how this could go any way except positive.

“Do you want to keep the pacifier or leave it in the car?”

Molly wasn’t sure. She was really scared and the pacifier for some strange reason was comforting, but she was a 6 year old entering an Elementary School. They didn’t suck on pacifiers in school. Molly didn’t know what to say.

Stacy suspected she knew the struggles Molly was dealing with, so she took the lead like any adult with a 3 year old would when they couldn’t make a choice. “I will take the pacifier, and if you want it, it will be in my pocket,” Stacy said as she took the pacifier out of Molly’s mouth.

Molly was on Grandma’s hip as they went into the school. After a quick stop at the office, where everyone googled over how cute Molly was, they headed down to Mrs. Jaylin’s classroom (a first grade classroom). Stacy didn’t really need to get anything from Mrs. Jaylin, but they arranged this the night before to give Molly some exposure to a 1st grade classroom while in a diaper. Stacy however was in for a surprise.

Stacy had assumed that Molly would stay in her 3 year old personality during this visit. Molly had assumed that too, but when they entered Mrs. Jaylin’s 1st grade classroom, Stacy put her down in a chair at one of the empty desks while she waited in the back of the room, till Mrs. Jaylin had a moment between lessons. Molly quickly forgot she was in a diaper and dressed like a 3 year old. She got sucked into the lesson. She had learned most of it already in her class and was feeling real proud of herself for already knowing the answer. The other children, when they saw Molly being carried in, assumed she was 3 years old. Some of them even saw she was in diapers, she had to be a little baby. Mrs. Jaylin and Stacy assumed Molly would just sit there and say nothing. To everyone’s surprise, Molly was the only one who raised her hand when Mrs. Jaylin asked a hard question.

“Well, it looks like our visitor knows the answer. Does anybody else,” Mrs. Jaylin asked looking around the room at her students? “Okay, young lady, what is the answer to my question?”

Mrs. Jaylin knew Molly was a 1st grader, and knew some of the struggles she was currently facing. She also knew the reason for her being in the room was to ease the transition back to her own 1st grade classroom. She didn’t really want to call on Molly, for she wasn’t sure if Molly really knew the answer or not. She feared a wrong answer would make her transition back to her own classroom harder. But, since she was the only one raising her hand, and she seemed very confident in her handraising, she took the risk. Stacy and Mrs. Jaylin crossed their fingers and hoping whole-heartedly that she really did know the answer.

Molly blew the whole class away as she not only answered the hard question that none of the other kids knew, but she elaborated on the answer explaining how she got it. The kids were in shock. Stacy was beaming with pride over her new Grand-daughter. Mrs. Jaylin was shocked that she not only answered the question but led the class onto the next lesson. The teacher in her took the lead, and kept teaching. The kids were in shock, especially those that saw her diapers when she was carried in. All the kids were now re-assessing their initial interpretation that she was about 3 years old. Mrs. Jaylin taught for about 5 more minutes before she started dividing the kids up into groups to work on the skills taught. When she skipped over Molly on her way around the room, two different kids immediately asked if the new kid could be in their group. Then two other kids said they wanted the new girl in their group. Molly was beaming. She was in a 1st grade classroom and kids wanted her in their group, even though she was in a diaper (probably a wet diaper).

Mrs. Jaylin looked at Stacy asking with a glance, what should we do? “Well,” Stacy said responding to the kids, “that is up to Molly. She can stay for a little bit while I get the Kindergartener I am here to pick up, but that is up to her.”

Molly looked up to Stacy and then to Mrs. Jaylin, “Can I stay, this is fun. We did it in my class before vacation.”

Mrs. Jaylin answered Molly after getting a nod from Stacy, “Yes Molly. Why don’t you join Mary and George over at this table.”

Molly got up and walked right over to the table with Mary and George. She was oblivious to the fact that she was diapered and everyone would be able to tell considering what she was wearing. She didn’t care. She was on her way to have fun with other kids her age, other kids who wanted her to be in their group because she knew how to do it.

“Hi, I’m Mary and this is George,” Mary said reaching her hand out.

“I’m Molly.” She said shaking Mary and George’s hands.

“So how did you know the answer,” George asked?

“My class learned this just before vacation.”

“What grade are you in Molly,” Mary asked?

“I’m in 1st grade.”

“How old are you?” Mary asked? She was very puzzled, she couldn’t believe that Molly was in 1st grade.

“I am 6, almost 7 years old.”

“Okay you three,” Mrs. Jaylin said as she made her way around the room. “Let’s keep working.” Mrs. Jaylin smiled as she walked on. This didn’t quite go the way Stacy and her had planned, but it was going even better. She had carefully placed Molly with two kids who would appreciate her knowledge and who would most likely accept the fact that she was in diapers. George still had accidents at school, and was always looking out for the lower skilled kids in the class. Mary, who Mrs. Jaylin learned during parent teacher conferences, still wore diapers each night. She also tended to be a motherly type, always helping every kid who needed a little extra mothering. If the kids kept to their personalities (which was never a guarantee when it came to 6 year olds), they should accept Molly’s diapers without question.

The kids got to work on the assignment. Molly showed the other two how to do the activity. She was having fun. Some of the kids from the groups around them kept looking over when Molly was explaining things to Mary and George. More than once, Mrs. Jaylin had to tell kids to get back to their own groups.

Mary finally got up enough nerve to ask the question on everyone’s mind, “Molly, why are you wearing diapers?”

George didn’t dare ask the question. His mom had threatened to send him to school in diapers many times when he had come home with wet pants. He still wore diapers during the day on weekends when he had accidents.

Molly looked straight at Mary. Part of her was afraid to say, fearing they wouldn’t like her anymore. She had actually forgotten that she was in a diaper; she was having too much fun as a 1st grader. If she told them, would she have to leave? She thought for a moment, “My body doesn’t tell me when I have to go poopy, so I have to wear diapers because pooping and peeing in panties makes a big mess.”

To Mary and Molly’s surprise, George responded by saying, “yeah it sure does.”

Mary looked around to make sure there weren’t other kids listening, “I wear diapers too. Every night Mommy puts a diaper on me so I don’t wet the bed. I don’t like waking up in a wet bed, but it is okay when I wear a diaper. Mommy and Daddy get mad when I wet the bed, but it is okay if I wet the diaper.”

George didn’t really want to talk about this. He was scared his mom would find out a 6 year old came to school in diapers, and decide to send him to school in diapers. He got the group back to work on the lesson.

After a few minutes, Stacy walked back into the room with the Kindergartener she was picking up, Emily. When Emily saw Molly, she went running up to Molly and gave her a big hug. Molly said goodbye to the class and the three of them headed off to Jill’s Daycare Center.

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 15

All the way to the Daycare Center, Emily and Molly were talking like normal busy 6 year old girls who had been friends for years. Molly was surprised to find out that Emily was in Kindergarten. Last time they met, she acted like a 1st grader not a baby Kindergartener.

The girls were so busy talking with each other that they didn’t even realize that the car had stopped, until Stacy opened her door to get out of the car. As Emily undid her seatbelt, and Stacy got Molly out of her car-seat, Emily made a comment that made Molly feel like a baby. “Well it is a good thing we are here, you need to get that diaper changed Molly, you stink.”

Molly frowned at this comment. For the first time in the last 2 weeks she was feeling like a 6 year old, instead of a 2 year old. Poopy diapers didn’t help, especially when a little Kindergartener had to tell her she needed to be changed. Molly still hated the fact that she didn’t know when she had pooped her diaper.

As they walked in to the Daycare Center, Jill came up and gave both of the girls a big hug. She then brought them both to the bathroom. Molly didn’t like the fact that Emily was going to be in the bathroom when she was changed. This wasn’t fair.

Jill turned to Emily and said, “You first.” She picked Emily up and laid her down on the changing table. Molly was in shock. Why was Emily up on the changing table? She quickly found out as Emily’s Pull-ups were quickly in view.

“You didn’t think you were the only 6 year old who had trouble getting all their pee-pee and poopy in the potty, did you Molly,” said Emily as Jill changed her slightly wet Pull-Up.

“But . . .” Molly tried to get out.

“Okay Emily,” Jill said. “Diapers or Pull-Ups?”

Molly froze. Grandma had asked her that question this morning. Grandma said she was going to play with someone today who was also asked that question this morning. Emily? It was Emily? But she is a 6 year old, not a baby. It can’t be Emily. Only babies wear diapers. Emily isn’t a baby, she is a big girl, a Kindergartener, but even so, a big girl, not a baby who wears diapers. Molly was in even more shock, when Emily responded to Jill’s question by looking over at Molly and saying with a smile on her face, “Diapers please.”

Emily was quickly put into a diaper and re-dressed. Then Jill turned to Molly and said it was time to get her all cleaned up. She didn’t know what Molly was wearing, so she was being cautious about what she said. She had intentionally changed Emily first, and was glad to see Emily choose Diapers. She knew Emily would be in either a Pull-Up or Diaper today, for regular panties were off limits the day after a daytime accident in panties, which Emily had yesterday. Emily almost never chose to wear diapers to Kindergarten (but she has from time to time – even though it was not always her choice). Molly was still in shock from discovering Emily wore diapers, and did not respond to Jill’s efforts to get her to interact. When she discovered Molly was wearing diapers, she changed her approach and talked to her like she did the little babies. She talked in a way where she didn’t really expect her to respond verbally.

Once she was changed into a clean diaper and re-dressed, Emily grabbed her hand and dragged Molly off to a corner of the playroom. The two girls talked and played for hours. Molly found out that Emily had never managed to go more than a few days in panties before being put back into Pull-Ups or Diapers due to accidents. Molly told Emily about her issues. They talked about diapers, Pull-ups, accidents, and school. They both talked about wanting to be a baby at times, and wanting to be a big kid at other times. Emily had never met a kid her age that also wore diapers, and she had never believed Jill or her parents when they said other 6 year olds wear diapers too.

Emily explained to Molly that by Thanksgiving, she had decided to wear Pull-Ups to school almost every day. It was much better than wetting her pants at school. By now, most of the kids knew she wore Pull-Ups at school. Every now and then one of the kids says something, but most don’t care. Occasionally she would wear panties to school, but she often had accidents when she did, like yesterday. Emily was quickly deciding that even if she was wearing panties at home, she wanted to wear Pull-Ups to school. Getting Pull-Ups or diapers changed at school was better than having to change clothes. Emily explained that most kids didn’t even know when she went to get diapers or Pull-ups changed, but kids did know when she had to change clothes when wearing just panties.

Stacy and Jill just let the kids have their privacy. They kept the other kids busy in other areas of the Daycare. The girls needed each other, to help both of them deal with their issues. They needed a friend they could talk to about this. They needed a friend who would accept them with all their strengths AND weaknesses. Emily may gain full control at any time or could have these issues for years. Molly, however, would have to deal with this for years. She would have to learn how to deal with diapers as a regular part of her life. She would have to learn to live with pooping her pants long after most children had gained full bladder and bowel control with no more accidents. They both needed someone who could help them through these times.

When Emily’s mom came to pick her up, things were arranged for the girls to spend all day tomorrow together. It will be Saturday, so Emily didn’t have school. Stacy and Molly would pick Emily up at her house, for a day of fun. They planned a trip to the Children’s Museum and a big local playground.

Stacy had planned today to give Molly a few little things to help her accept her situation. It worked out much better than she had expected. She actually believed that Molly would now be ready (scared – but ready) to go to school on Monday wearing Pull-Ups. She was very proud of the advancements her grand-daughter had made today.

That night they stayed at Stacy’s house. In preparation for this, Stacy had arranged for a crib to be set up in the house. But, after today, Stacy decided it was time to take Molly to the next level. She dressed Molly in a clean diaper and put her in a pink Blanket Sleeper with footsies. When Molly was sitting in Grandma’s lap listening to a bedtime story, Stacy asked a question.

“Molly,” Stacy asked as she paused from the reading. “You learned today that you can be a big girl and wear diapers. I am proud of you. From now on wearing diapers does not have to mean you are treated like a baby. It will be up to you. It is easier to change poopy diapers than poopy pull-ups. If you want to be a big girl and wear diapers, that is okay. If you want to wear diapers and be a little girl, that is okay. You just have to let me or your mommy know which you want to be a big girl or a little girl. You will have to decide, Pull-Ups or Diapers. Today you decided to be a little girl, but you were a very big girl while at school today.”

Molly didn’t say anything, just smiled at what Grandma was saying. Grandma kept reading the story and let Molly think about the day and what she just said.

At another break point in the story, Stacy asked another question, “You have to wear diapers to bed, but you do NOT have to sleep in a crib if you do not want to. You chose to be a little girl today, which would mean you sleep in a crib, but you were a big girl today, and big girls sleep in big girl beds. It is your choice Molly, Crib or Big Girl Bed?”

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 16

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret was out. She was a six year old who still did her poopies in diapers. Emily, Mary, and George all knew her secret. All the kids in Mrs. Jaylin’s class knew she wore diapers, and soon some of her friends would know too. Before vacation she only went poopy after school (well, most of the time she only did it after school). Now she did it at various times throughout the day. Before vacation she only wore diapers after school, but now she never knows when she will poop, causing the need for diapers all the time.

Molly was sitting in Gradma’s lap thinking about the choice she was just presented with. “Crib?” or “Big Girl Bed?” Molly couldn’t believe she was actually thinking about this question. Molly had not used the toilet all day. She said she wanted to be a little girl today and she was. She had fun being a big girl in 1st grade today, but she wasn’t ready to be a big girl in other places. Even in 1st grade she was wearing a wet diaper. If she was being a big girl, she would have been in a dry diaper. Molly shook her head no at this thought. No, that is not right, if she was a big girl, she would be in big girl panties like all the other girls in 1st grade. Molly looked up to Grandma and told her that she wanted to be a little girl tonight and sleep in the crib.

Stacy was only a little surprised by Molly’s choice. Growing up is not easy, and this was a very busy and hard day for her. When she finished the story, she laid her down in the crib. She tucked Molly in, kissed her and Josey, her teddy bear, and lifted up the side of the crib. After turning out the light, she turned to look at her granddaughter who was slightly illuminated by the night light. Stacy smiled at her new granddaughter – grandbaby as she slowly drifted off to sleep. They had one more day together before mom and dad return. Checking to make sure the baby monitor was turned on, Stacy left the room, shutting the door behind her.

The next morning while getting her diaper changed, Stacy asked Molly the first of two questions. “Diapers or Pull-Ups?”

“What will Emily be wearing,” Molly asked?

“I don’t know sweet-heart, she is being asked the same question. Her mommy doesn’t decide, Emily does, just like you. If I had to guess what she will pick today, I think she will wear a diaper today.”

“Why?”

“Well, just like you, she will want to be wearing what you are wearing.” Grandma said. “She will think that you will be wearing a diaper, since you poop and diapers are better for poopers.” Stacy wasn’t sure about this, but she wanted to stress that diapers are better than Pull-Ups for kids who poop.

“Diapers Gwan-ma”

“Okay Molly,” Stacy said as she grabbed a diaper and started putting it on. Then the next question, “Little Girl or Big Girl today?”

This was the big one. Molly had finally figured this out. As a little girl, she would dress like a little girl, play like a little girl, and be treated like a little girl or baby. No worries, no being pushed to do things like use the potty. Pacifiers, bibs, highchairs, and car seats were all part of being a Little Girl. Strollers? Yeah, they are part of being a little girl, not a big girl. Molly thought about how much she enjoyed riding in strollers when going to places like the zoo. But, they were going to the Children’s Museum and a big playground. Did she want to be a baby or Little Girl today?

A big girl? Was she really one of these? Big girls do not use diapers, they use the potty. They do not wear diapers, they use the potty. They do not like to sit in highchairs or strollers. They do not like playing with baby toys, and do not suck on pacifiers. They would not want to drink out of a baby bottle. Molly just could not figure out if she was a big girl. Grandma had said big girls can wear diapers, but Molly didn’t really understand this. Big girls go potty by themselves, but in diapers, Molly needed help to go potty. Molly likes being carried around, riding in strollers or the seat of grocery carts. She even kind-of liked high chairs, she didn’t have to sit on her knees to be up to the table. Was she really a big girl? Could she be a big girl?

“Gwan-ma,” Molly hesitantly started to ask Grandma. “Big girl’s don’t wear diapers?” Her tone was clear; this was a question not a statement.

Stacy smiled at the question. Molly was thinking. She was trying to balance out the need for diapers and her age. School on Monday was going to be tough, especially if she stayed in her little girl mode all weekend.

“Molly, lets try to be a big girl today while wearing a diaper. You were a big girl yesterday in the 1st grade classroom and you were in a diaper. You can do it. I will help and Emily will help.”

Molly wasn’t sure about all of this, but if Grandma said so . . . “Okay big girl grandma.”

“To help you be a big girl who still wears a diaper, we will stop at the store and get some diapers you can pull up and down like panties, so it is easier to use the potty for your pee-pee.” Stacy smiled at this as she grabbed some clothes appropriate for a 6 year old. As Stacy carried Molly over to the bed, she thought about ways she could push big girl issues with the girls today, while showing them that wearing diapers were okay and doable as a 6 year old. She put Molly down on the bed and put the clothes next to her, “Okay my big 6 year old granddaughter, do you remember how to get dressed yourself, or do you need grandma’s help.”

Molly smiled at her, knowing that even as a 6 year old she could still talk her mommy into dressing her. “Yeah grandma,” she said grabbing the pants and putting her arms into the leg holes.

“Oh, I see,” Stacy said approaching Molly with her fingers outstretched. “I have a silly little granddaughter,” Stacy said as she started tickling Molly.

“Haaa – hahahahahahaaaa – ha,” Molly started laughing. “St-Stoooooop. Pwease, stop or I will wet my pants.”

“Oh, but that isn’t a problem since you are wearing a diaper. I can keep tickling you as long as I want. Look,” she said grabbing Josey, the teddy bear. “Even Josey wants to see if tickling will make you go pee-pee in your diaper.”

“Stop – ha, ha, ha – Stop Josey – ha, ha ha – I big girl today – ha, ha, ha – I no pee, ha ha, ha – pee in diaper – ha, ha, ha”

“Well, I guess I can stop now,” Stacy said as she noticed Molly’s diaper was now indeed wet. “and I guess I better change you into a dry diaper. And Josey, next time listen to Molly and don’t tickle her when she is trying to keep her diaper dry.” Stacy picked Molly back up and carried her back over to the changing table.

“Gwan-ma,” Molly said with a big smile on her face. “Maybe Josey should go into time out today for being a naughty little bear and tickling me till I wet my diaper.”

“Maybe Josey should.” Stacy said as she quickly got a new diaper on Molly. Stacy then lifted Molly down off the changing table and put her down on the floor. Tapping her diapered bottom, Stacy said, “You go get dressed, big girl, and I will go get breakfast ready.”

On the way out of the room, Stacy heard Molly talking to Josey. “Josey, I wanted to be a big girl today and get all my pee-pee in the potty like a 6 year old. Yeah, I know I am a 6 year old, but only babies go pee-pee and poopy in diapers. Why did you make me pee-pee in my diaper. I know 6 year olds don’t wear diapers, but I don’t want to go poopy in panties. Yeah I want to wear panties, but my poopy doesn’t just come out in the afternoon. Poopy goes in diapers not panties. I don’t know why I can’t get it in the potty, but I can’t. I have tried and tried, but I can’t. You tickled me because you were confused because of the diaper, well grandma said big girls can wear diapers and get their pee-pee in the potty. Grandma even says she will get special diapers, so I can go potty without gwown-up help. Yeah I will still need grandma or mommy to change my diaper if I go poopy or pee-pee in them. I don’t know what the special diapers look like Josey, she didn’t buy them yet. You want to be a baby bear today when I am being a big girl. Okay, let me put a diaper on you.”

Stacy was listening to all of this over the baby monitor as she got breakfast ready. Once breakfast was almost ready, she yelled out, “Molly? Are you dressed yet?”

“No Gwan-ma, I can’t get the diaper on Josey.”

Stacy went back and helped Josey get diapered with a diaper that was almost as big as the bear was. Molly was happy however, so once Josey was diapered, Molly was sent to get dressed and Stacy went back to the kitchen. Josey ate in the highchair this morning, while Molly ate at the table. The morning went quickly and soon all three of them were off to pick up Emily. First stop however, was to pick up some new diapers, the ones that can be pulled up and down like panties.

After buying the diapers, Stacy brought Molly to the bathroom to change her. She was wet and a little poopy. She put the diaper on with Molly laying down, but once she put Molly back on the floor, she had Molly pull the diaper down and back up. They had to adjust the tabs a little, since originally Stacy had made them too tight to pull down. Stacy was still confident that these gave a lot more protection than Pull-Ups, and much tighter on her. She just hoped the Velcro grip closure could stand up to the playing of a 6 year old.

Molly and Emily had a great day together. They had a ton of fun at the Children’s Museum and then off to a local burger joint for lunch. Stacy noticed that Molly didn’t once go to the potty on her own initiative. When Emily said she needed to go potty, Molly always said she needed to go too. She always got at least a little bit of pee-pee in the potty, but the diapers were dry only once. Emily however, only needed to be changed once. When Molly got upset at having wet diapers again, Stacy told her it was okay because she was in a diaper.

“But I want to be a big girl, not a baby.”

Emily responded before Stacy could, “Molly, that is the nice thing about being in diapers. Grown-ups do not get upset when a diaper is wet or messy, only when Pull-ups or panties are wet and messy.”

Stacy also explained that it is okay for big girls who still wear diapers to go pee-pee and poopy in the diaper. She also pointed out that babies in diapers don’t use the potty like she has been doing all morning. This made Molly smile.

After lunch, they headed off to the big playground. When they got there, Molly asked to go potty. She made it to the bathroom and with the help of Stacy; she got on the potty just in time, keeping the diaper dry. When she was done, Stacy helped her get the diapers back on and gave her a sticker for knowing she had to go potty and keeping the diaper dry. Molly displayed the sticker with pride on her shirt.

In the afternoon, Emily and Molly had the same track record for going potty. They both needed to be changed once due to peeing their diapers. Molly did need to be changed one more time because they were poopy, but Stacy told her that one didn’t count. By the time they dropped Emily back at her house, both girls had a collection of stickers on their shirts.

Molly fell asleep in the car shortly after dropping Emily off. Since it was a 2 hour drive back to Molly’s house, Stacy didn’t mind.

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 17

Molly didn’t wake up when Stacy carried her into the house and changed her diaper. She was dressed for bed and put down in her crib without stirring. Stacy sat in the room and just watched her granddaughter for a while before leaving the room. This was their last evening together. She loved her new granddaughter, and knew Molly would work through her issues and be a stronger girl. It was not going to be easy for Molly or her parents. Stacy wondered how Marcus, her son, would handle the demands of being a daddy, having a six year old girl still in diapers, and dealing with the emotional struggles everyone goes through with a child who has special needs.

The next morning Molly chose diapers again, and being a big girl. Stacy thought this was great, but wondered how much she would really use the potty with all the excitement of the day. After a quick breakfast, Molly enjoyed Mommy and Marcus’, Daddy’s, return.

After lunch, Molly went out in the back yard to play and the grown-ups could finally talk. There had been various discussions throughout the last two weeks over the telephone, but Janice, Molly’s Mom, was a little surprised by seeing a baby’s crib, the highchair, and baby toys around the house. She didn’t say anything in front of Molly, but when she was changing Molly’s diaper on the changing table, she wondered just how much Molly had been a baby, instead of a 6 year old, over the last 2 weeks.

“Stacy,” Janice asked? “Why is there all this baby stuff around here?”

Stacy smiled at this question. She had been prepared for it ever since Marcus had proposed her attempting to train Molly. “Janice and Marcus, there tend to be only three main reasons why a 6 year old child isn’t toilet trained during the day. 1) They struggle with whether they want to be a big kid or little kid. This is the most common reason. 2) There are medical reasons, making it physically impossible or extremely difficult for the child to gain control. 3) There are emotional stresses in the child’s life.”

Stacy paused for the two of them to process what she had said before continuing, “When I started this process I assumed we were dealing either with the Big Kid versus Little Kid issue or Emotional Stresses. Either one is usually easy to deal with, you give logical consequences for a child’s actions. In this case, a logical consequence for a child who does not use the toilet is diapers. If she wanted to be a little kid or had emotional stresses, treating her like a baby or real little kid would take the emotional stresses away and give her what she wanted. The funny thing about getting what you want, you quickly find out that it is not what you want. It usually takes no more than three days of treating them like a baby for them to decide they want to be a big kid.”

Janice and Marcus were sitting on the couch cuddled together. This was all making sense, but a little weird. Molly was a 6 year old, almost 7, not a 2 year old. Molly never would have wanted to spend more than a minute as a baby. Would she?

“Molly quickly took to being a baby,” Stacy continued. “It took her much longer to decide she wanted to be a big girl, than I had expected.”

“If she wanted to be a big girl,” Janice asked. “Why are all the baby things still all over the house?” Janice didn’t like the approach that was used, but she had given Stacy freedom to do whatever it took to get Molly trained.

“Well when Molly started to grow up again,” Stacy replied. “I found out she wasn’t toilet trained due to physical reasons. Well, from my experience, these kids have all three factors. They may or may not gain the control, but they will have to deal with control issues for years. They need to change the view that only babies wear diapers and Pull-ups. They will struggle with the question, from time to time, of whether they are really a big kid or just a baby who can’t get their pee-pee and poopy in the potty.”

Stacy stopped, she noticed a tear on Janice’s face. Marcus gave her a big hug, while Stacy waited for a cue from them on whether to continue or not.

It was a few minutes before Janice said something, “My poor little baby.” A few minutes later she continued, “The doctor . . . When I talked with the doctor . . . Molly will . . . She’s almost 7 . . . The doctor said . . .”

Marcus took the lead, “Mom, when we talked with the doctor, Janice had the impression that Molly could be trained. It would take some work, but she could regain her control.”

“Did you ask the doctor how long this would take?”

Marcus and Janice looked at each other with quizzical looks. They hadn’t.

“Did the doctor tell you she would definitely gain complete control?”

Marcus and Janice again looked at each other with quizzical looks, looking to the other hoping they had heard something the other had missed.

“The process is going to be very hard for Molly. She has to want to do the process and believe she will be loved even if it does not work. A six year old with no issues, struggles with wanting to be a big girl one moment and a little baby the next. Molly will be struggling with something she knows babies can do easily, yet she can’t do at all. Just imagine what she will be struggling with emotionally. She needs a strong base and a belief that she is a 6 year old, even when she has a poopy diaper on.”

The three of them talked for a while till Molly came back in. They quickly decided they couldn’t really talk unless Molly was busy.

“Molly,” her mom asked. “Why don’t we call Flora and see if she can come over and play?”

Molly loved this idea. She hadn’t seen her best friend for two weeks. Everything was arranged and Flora was on her way over before Molly realized she was in a diaper, and would be in one while Flora was there.

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 18

Flora was Molly’s best friend. She knew Molly had worn Pull-Ups for a period in Kindergarten. Flora wore Diapers at night and knew Molly did too. BUT, what would Flora think about her now that she was wearing diapers all the time? Would she still be her friend?

Molly didn’t have to wait long to find out the answers to her questions. As the doorbell rang, she struggled between her desire to run and see Flora and a fear telling her to run and hide. Molly’s mom opened the door and welcomed Flora in. She waved to Flora’s mom who was still in the car.

“Hi Flora, why don’t you and Molly go play in the backyard” Janice said as she shut the door.

Flora smiled and quickly headed for the back yard, grabbing Molly’s hand on the way. She didn’t notice the highchair in the Kitchen as they passed it, heading out the back door. Molly was reserved and passive for a while but soon she was playing just like any other 6 year old. It didn’t take long for Flora to start asking questions.

“So where were you last week, I missed you at school.”

“I missed school?”

“Yeah, we had school last week, but you weren’t there. Where were you?”

Molly looked at Flora with a puzzled look. She didn’t know she had missed a week of school.

“I was wif my new Grandma. Maybe she didn’t know we had school.”

“Well, what did you do?”

“I played here and went to her house,” Molly thought about Emily, but wasn’t sure if she should tell Flora about Emily. She then remembered she was wearing a diaper and quickly wanted to switch topics. Molly went off to the swings and the conversation ended.

It wasn’t long before Molly realized she had to pee. She thought about just going in the diaper and then looked over at Flora and decided to head for the bathroom.

“Gatta go potty,” Molly declared as she headed for the house.

Flora didn’t think anything of it as she continued to play.

Running into the living room where the adults were still talking about Molly’s issues, she stopped just inside the living room and loudly said, “I gatta go potty!”

Janice turned to her daughter with a puzzled look, “Well then go sweety.”

Stacy quickly got up to help her granddaughter go potty. Molly stood in place till Grandma reached her and rushed her down the hall to the bathroom. Although Molly did get some pee-pee in the potty, the diaper still needed to be changed. She was quickly changed and sent out to play with Flora.

When Molly returned, Flora ran up to her, grabbed her hand and dragged her over to the jump ropes. Flora was good at jump-roping and Molly wasn’t. Flora was quickly jumping away. Molly started, only getting a few jumps before having to start again. Even with the struggles, Molly enjoyed Jump rope games with Flora.

After they were jumping for 10 or 15 minutes, Flora stopped counting but continued jumping rope. “Molly . . . did . . . you . . . go . . . poopy . . . in your . . . diaper?”

Molly quickly defended herself, “No it was only wet when I went in to go potty.” Then she realized what she had just said, “No, I don’t wear diapers. Only babies wear diapers.”

Molly had thought of a lot of ways she might tell Flora, or Flora might find out, but this wasn’t going right.

Flora stopped jumping and looked right at Molly. “Molly, your diaper is poopy. Maybe you should go get changed.”

“But . . . I . . .” Molly broke out in tears and ran into the house.

Molly ran straight into Mommy’s lap. Still in tears, she tried to explain the problem to Mommy, “Fwora said I pooped in my diaper when I was onwy wet when gwandma changed me. She fink I a baby.”

It took a bit to calm Molly down, but Janice had a lot of experience dealing with Molly when she had poopy accidents. No matter what her feelings were about the events over the last two weeks, her motherly instincts took over. Molly obviously had no idea she was wearing a poopy diaper. A quick glance at the concerned Flora standing in the doorway to the living room indicated she probably was still very much her friend and had not said anything intentionally to hurt Molly.

Janice picked up her 6 year old little girl and carried her back to her bedroom, putting her down on the changing table. It took a little bit to get Molly calmed back down and then cleaned up, but Janice was very good at it after 6 years of calming down her daughter. When finished she saw the stacks of diapers and pull-ups, and wondered what she should put on Molly. Her thoughts were interrupted by her new Mother-In Law.

“When she is in diapers,” Stacy gently stated. “We keep her in diapers for the rest of the day unless she asks for Pull-ups after successfully using the toilet. She can use the potty while in diapers, but not required.”

Janice still was not sure she agreed with all of this, but grabbed a diaper and got Molly redressed.

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 19

Molly’s mom redressed her and set her down on the floor, patting her diaper. “Off you go sweety.”

Molly slowly walked over to her crib and picked up Josey, her teddy bear, as she sat down on the floor next to the crib. Both Mom and Grandma looked at Molly and then at each other.

“So which little princess do you want?” Stacy asked.

Janice looked at her daughter and then down the hall at Flora. “Considering the issues, neither one is going to be easy. Logic tells me I should go help Flora, since she does not know you, but my heart is on Molly.”

Janice slowly approached Molly and sat down next to her, grabbing her into a cuddle. As they quietly rocked, Stacy walked down the hall to Flora.

Getting down on her knees, Stacy smiled at Flora. “Hi Flora, I am Molly’s new Grandma. Molly is a little upset at the moment and not ready to come back out and play. Let’s go to the back yard and wait for her.”

Looking back down at Molly’s room, Flora reluctantly went with Stacy to the back yard. On the way she was trying to figure everything out, but she kept seeing more and more confusing things. Baby toys in the Living Room, a High Chair in the kitchen, and a pacifier on the table, with Molly going pee-pee and poopy in diapers, what was going on with her best friend?

Stacy had them both sit down on the step of the back porch, while she asked about what had happened to get Molly so upset. As she was doing that, Janice was asking Molly the same thing.

“Mommy, Flowa thwinks me baby. She no want me fwiend. Flowa no want baby fwiend.”

“Well Molly, are you a baby or a big girl?”

The room was silent, except for the noise from Molly’s diaper as they rocked back and forth. Janice cuddled her daughter tightly, getting more and more worried the longer it took Molly to answer the question.

Several minutes passed in silence before Molly quietly answered. “I don’t know Mommy. I don’t know.”

They continued to cuddle in silence as Janice tried to figure out everything she had heard over the last few hours and the significance of what Molly had just said. She looked around the room. Nothing had changed over the last two weeks, except for the side of the bed being put back on to turn it back into a crib. The changing table and diapers were all there before. Molly wearing and using the diapers for all their purposes is the same as before the Honeymoon. Her new mother-in-law, an expert in child development, had tried for two weeks to get Molly to grow up only to have Molly regress. What had she done wrong as a mother to have her almost 7 year old be unable to answer that question? How could she go this long without having the doctors identify her medical condition?

Janice wanted to just wave a magic wand and make everything all better for her little baby. . . “My little baby girl, Oh Molly, you will always be Mommy’s Little Baby Girl. But you are also my big ‘almost 7 year old’. Grandma is right, you can be both. Just because you wear a diaper and can’t get your poopy in the potty, that does not mean you are a baby. It just means that your body isn’t working right and we need to see what we can do to fix it, if it can be fixed. Be Mommy’s baby girl when you want, or be Mommy’s big girl. I love both.”

They cuddled for a few more minutes in silence. “Molly, right now Flora is waiting to play with her BEST friend. Do you think maybe we should go back out and play with her?”

“No!”

It took a few more minutes to talk Molly into going back out to see Flora, but even then she had to be carried. As they approached the back door, they heard Grandma talking to Flora.

“So Flora, Molly has to wear diapers because her body is broken and it doesn’t tell her when she needs to poop or if she has pooped. The baby stuff in the house is because she liked to play baby occasionally, just like you like being the baby when you play house.”

Molly put her head down on Mommy’s shoulder as they went out onto the back porch. Janice put Molly down next to Flora and then sat down herself, sandwiching the two girls between the two adults.

“So Flora,” Molly’s Mom started. “Molly thinks you will no longer want to play with her because she has to wear diapers now all the time.”

“Silly Molly,” Flora giggled. “You will always be my best friend. Who else would I get to have a sleep over at my house or beat me at Go Fish. One of these days I am going to beat you, but you have to stay my friend till that happens.”

Both girls started giggling. Janice and Stacy nodded their heads at each other and quietly got up to return to the house.

As they entered the kitchen, Stacy commented, “One down, and one to go. Lets hope Flora will help her get through tomorrow, the return to school in diapers.”

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Re: Molly’s Deep Dark Secret

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 20

Molly and Flora talked for a bit before they were back to running all over the backyard laughing and giggling like all little girls do. Stacy and Janice went back to the Living Room with Marcus. This time, Janice sat down where she would be able to see out into the back yard to watch her daughter. They all sat for a while in silence.

Marcus was the first to speak, “So if I understand this correctly, Molly may never gain control over her bowels and we need to shift our approach to managing her disability. Yes we will work with doctors and therapists to try to help her regain control, but we need to prepare ourselves and Molly for the possibility that she may be uncontrollably pooping her pants the rest of her life.”

“Yeah, that is it in a nutshell son.” Stacy said nodding her head toward Marcus.

Marcus took a deep breath while giving Janice a big hug, he continued, “Pull-ups are not that great for people without bowel control. They may be a possibility if Molly knew when she had pooped and would take steps to get changed, but she doesn’t. Therefore, she really needs something that offers more protection, which only leaves Diapers. Honey you know this, don’t you. Isn’t that why you would put her in a diaper each afternoon instead of pull-ups?”

“Uhhhh, Yeah.”

“Before we left for the Honeymoon, Molly never used the toilet when she was wearing a diaper and never appeared to know if she was wet or messy,” Marcus continued. “Although she was a big kid at times, she very much enjoyed being the little kid, especially when wearing a diaper. Is that accurate Janice?”

Stacy and Marcus looked at Janice quietly waiting for a reply. She knew that everything Marcus had just said was true. Although she wanted to blame her new Mother-in-law for Molly’s regression, Marcus was right, her baby girl enjoyed being a baby. Janice looked out at Molly and Flora playing in the backyard. Molly was running, jumping, tumbling, swinging and sliding. In many of these activities her diapers were on display, but Molly didn’t seem to care or notice.

As Janice was contemplating Molly’s past, present and future, the little girls came bouncing in wanting to play with the toys in the living room. They settled down on the floor playing with Molly’s Little People House and Farm. The girls entered their world of make-believe, while the grown-ups sat and watched them.

“How are we going to keep Molly’s Deep Dark Secret, if she acts like that,” Janice asked looking down at the girls playing. Molly was sitting down on the floor with her legs in a V-shape, playing with toys in the middle. The skirt of her dress was up around her waist, fully exposing her wet diaper.

“6 year olds should not have secrets, and especially should not have Deep Dark Secrets,” Stacy said with emphasis. “If you are ashamed of her diapers and feel like they are something to hide, Molly will feel the same way and will never accept them. If you accept them and Molly, she will.”

With that Stacy got up and headed for the kitchen to start making dinner for the family. Janice just looked at Stacy as she walked away, and then down at her happy, cheerful little girl.

Later, when Stacy announced that dinner was ready, Janice took her daughter back to get her diaper changed before eating. When they returned, Molly found Flora standing next to the highchair, just staring at it. Although they had talked about the highchair when they were in the back yard, Molly was certain Flora would no longer want to be her friend now that she saw it.

“So little ones, I have some yummy Spaghetti-O’s for the two of you,” Grandma interrupted everyone’s thoughts.

Molly looked at Grandma, who winked at her. This took her out of her worries and made her think real quick. Then Grandma smiled and nodded her head toward Flora and the highchair.

“So is one of the little princesses going to be sitting in the highchair, or both at the table,” Grandma asked? “It looks like Flora wants the highchair tonight Molly. Do you think you could be a big girl while Flora borrows your highchair?”

“Can I eat in the highchair,” Flora asked without thinking.

Janice and Marcus were confused by this, but Molly quickly caught on and added in her best Grandma impersonation, “Silly little girl. Where else would you eat? All little girls in diapers eat in highchairs.”

“But I don’t have my night-time diaper on yet,” Flora expressed concern as her chances were fading away.

“Well Princess Molly,” Grandma added. “Do you think we could make an exception, just this once?”

“I don’t know Gwandma. If we let her sit in the highchair, she will have to follow all of the rules.”

“That she will,” Grandma agreed.

“I’ll get her bib,” Molly said as she ran to the kitchen drawer with the bibs.

Stacy helped Flora into the highchair. After getting her all strapped in, she put the tray on and pushed her up to the table. By that time, Molly was back with a bib.

“Do I have to wear a bib too?”

Molly put on her best Grandma impersonation again, and said, “All little girls eating in highchairs wear bibs, but if you are a big girl who can eat without making a mess, then next time I will let you eat at the table. That means no food in your hair, no food on your face, no food on your bib, no food on your hands, and no food on the tray to the highchair. Sound like a deal little princess Flora?”

Flora giggled. “O-Tay Mommy Mowwy. But me big pwincess. Me no get food in hair.”

“Okay little princess,” Molly giggled as she took one of the bowls of spaghetti and put it on the highchair tray. “You enjoy pretending to be a big giwl, but we will see at the end of the meal.”

Molly then went and got a bib for herself. At the end of the meal, both princesses were covered with spaghetti sauce and needed to be cleaned up.

When Janice left with Flora to take her home, Molly was certain Flora was still her best friend and would be forever.

While Janice drove Flora home, Molly was changed for bed and then played CandyLand with her new Dad and Grandma. Dad was the first to get close to the end, but then he got the Candy Cane. Grandma was next to get close to winning, but then she pulled the Gingerbread boy. This caused Molly to go dancing around the table singing, “I’m ganna win, I’m ganna win,” before taking her next card. After all of that, both grown-ups were very glad when Molly managed to win in the next few turns.

When Mom returned, the four of them sat down to talk. Molly’s life was at a turning point, so some decisions had to be made.

“Molly,” Mom started. “Daddy and I have talked with Grandma and the doctor. We have decided that you need to be wearing diapers all the time. You don’t go poopy at the same time of day like you use to, so we can’t just do diapers after school.”

“Pull-Ups?”

“No,” Marcus replied. “Poopies do not stay in Pull-ups very well, so no Pull-ups till you can start telling when you poop.”

The room was silent as the adults let Molly think about this.

“O-tay,” Molly finally said hesitantly as she put her thumb in her mouth.

“Molly,” Mommy continued. “You are going to have to decide each day if you are going to be a Big Girl or a Little Girl.”

Molly thought about Emily and their time together. She told Molly that she liked being a little girl but also enjoyed being a big girl. Emily said there were good things about being a little girl at times and it could be a lot of fun. Molly thought more about her time with Emily as the grown-ups kept talking.

Molly was eventually put to bed in her crib, with Josey securely in her arms.

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 21

Monday morning Molly was woken up by Mommy putting down the side to her crib and lifting her over to the changing table. When the new diaper was being taped on, the question came, “Big Girl or Little Girl?”

Molly didn’t know. As she thought about it, Mommy got her blanket sleeper off of her and started to comb her hair.

“Big girl?” Molly said more as a question than an answer.

“I think that is a good choice for a school day.”

“Do I have to wear a diaper to school Mommy?”

“From what Grandma said, you have already gone to First Grade wearing a diaper, and you were liked by everyone.”

Molly smiled.

“Let’s find a good Big Girl outfit for you to wear to school today.”

In going through her clothes, Janice found the collection of new outfits and she smiled at how cute they looked. Pausing for a moment at the one with Big Bird on the front, she giggled, but then kept hunting for just the right one.

“You have some really cute Little Girl outfits in here that Grandma bought you.”

Molly smiled, while Mom finished finding the perfect outfit. In no time, she was dressed and off to breakfast.

Molly didn’t know how it happened so fast, but she soon found herself walking into school holding onto Mommy’s hand. After a brief stop at the office, they were on their way down to Molly’s classroom. They found Molly’s teacher sitting at her desk.

Molly was attached to Mommy’s side as the teacher got a full explanation as to why Molly would be wearing diapers from now on. Molly learned that Grandma had prepared the school for this possibility last week, so the teacher was ready for this.

“Now Molly,” her teacher said getting down to Molly’s height. “When you need your diaper changed or want to try to use the potty, you will need to go down to Mrs. Weston’s classroom. You just ask to go potty like all the kids in the room, but you will go down to Mrs. Weston’s class instead of to the bathroom.”

Molly’s teacher explained that the school does not have a regular nurse, but one of the teachers, Mrs. Weston, had kids in her room still in diapers or being potty trained. The Principal had decided it would be best if Mrs. Weston helped Molly with her toileting issues. Molly’s teacher also told Molly about a secret code the two of them could use. If one of them pulled on their ear, it meant Molly needed to go down to Mrs. Weston’s room to get changed.

The three of them headed down to meet Mrs. Weston before the other kids arrived. Molly had heard of Mrs. Weston and knew where her room was, but had never been in her room before. Steven went to her room each day during reading and math time, to learn his ABC’s and Numbers since he didn’t know those yet. On the walk down to Mrs. Weston’s room, Molly could not get one thought out of her head. Her teacher said Mrs. Weston had kids in her room that were still in diapers. Steven didn’t wear diapers, did he? Were there really other kids in the school who wore diapers?

Mrs. Weston was nice, and showed Molly the bathroom in her room that had a changing table and a toilet in it. She took the diaper supplies Molly’s Mom brought and put them on a shelf under the changing table. She then wrote Molly’s name on a tag under the shelf. Molly noticed diapers above another name and girl pull-ups above a third name. Mrs. Weston reassured Molly that she could come down at any time to get her diaper changed or for help to use the potty. She also restated something Mommy and Grandma had said, ‘only grown-ups are allowed to take diapers off.’ So if Molly wanted to use the potty, she had to come down to Mrs. Weston’s room for help in getting her diaper off. Mrs. Weston or one of the other grown-ups in the room would help Molly go potty.

Mrs. Weston also told Molly she needed to come down to her room after Lunch Recess to get her diaper checked and then again before getting on the bus. Molly’s teacher told her that she would remind Molly to go down at these times. The conversation was ended when the bell rang. Molly and her teacher headed down to class, but Mrs. Weston and Molly’s mom talked some more.

Molly was in her seat looking at a book when the other kids started to come in. The day started like any other with attendance, lunch count, the pledge, and then on to reading. When Molly’s teacher told everyone to get out their reading books, Steven got up and left the room. Molly knew he was going down to Mrs. Weston’s room. Now she would be doing that too. No one paid any attention to Steven when he went, but what would they say when she went? He was going to reading, what everyone else was doing, but she would be going down to get her diaper changed. No one else needed to go get their diapers changed.

In the middle of reading time, Molly needed to pee. She was scared to ask her teacher to go down to Mrs. Weston’s room. The other kids would find out she was in a diaper. While Sue was reading the next paragraph, Molly wet her diaper. She was looking all around, and none of the other kids noticed. She got away with it.

The rest of reading time, Molly was distracted, but did manage to finish her work. By the time they got into math time, Molly had forgotten about the wet diaper and just got into the fun lesson.

Molly was her typical self as the morning went on, paying no attention to the diaper. During Recess Flora and Molly got a chance to play together. They frolicked around the playground without a worry. While in line to go back in however, Fred who was right behind Molly commented on how someone had farted.

Molly didn’t make the connection, but Flora did. She immediately pulled Molly out of the line and they went to the back of the line with Flora having them stand a little back from everyone else.

“Molly,” Flora asked. “How do you get your diapers changed here at school?”

“I have to go down to Mrs. Weston’s class and she will change my diapers.”

“Well you need to go down to Mrs. Weston’s class.”

“Why?”

“Your diaper is poopy!”

Molly’s eyes got real wide and she was on the verge of tears. As the line started to go in, Flora lagged behind the group. Their teacher was at the door when they came in. Once everyone else was in the class, Flora quietly told their teacher that Molly needed her diaper changed. Their teacher looked at Molly and tugged on her ear. Molly put her head down and slowly headed off to Mrs. Weston’s classroom. As she walked away, she heard Flora being thanked for being such a big girl for helping Molly.

Molly slowly made her way down the hall thinking about what their teacher said. Flora was a big girl for helping little baby Molly who didn’t even know when she had a poopy diaper. Flora and Molly were no longer equals, Flora was the big girl who would have to help the baby when she needed her diapers changed. Molly stopped in the doorway to Mrs. Weston’s room. She didn’t look into the room, just down at her pink Disney Princess sneakers. She didn’t say a thing; she just stood there, unsure of what she should do.

Steven was the first to notice her, “Hi Molly.”

Molly still didn’t look up, she didn’t move.

Mrs. Weston went over to Molly and guided her into the room. With the odor, it was easy to tell why she was there. They went straight to the bathroom and got Molly cleaned up and into a new diaper. Molly was silent the whole time, and half way through the diaper change her thumb found its way into her mouth. After being changed, Mrs. Weston guided Molly back into the classroom and sat her down at a small group table near the teacher’s desk. Molly was still sucking on her thumb.

“Is Molly okay Mrs. Weston?” Steven asked as he came up and sat down at the table.

“Molly is fine Steven, she is just having a hard day. I think she needs some time by herself. Why don’t you go back to work on your Math, maybe Molly will help you before she returns to class.”

Steven went back to his desk. Mrs. Weston turned to Molly and rubbed her back.

After several minutes, Molly finally took her thumb out of her mouth and looked at Mrs. Weston. “I’m not a big girl anymore, am I?”

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 22

Mrs. Weston looked at the little first grader sitting in front of her. She had met Molly just that morning and had probably spent less than 20 minutes with her, but what she said next would have significant impact on little Molly’s life. Molly looked so helpless and little, like a tiny preschooler looking to an adult to make everything right again. Mrs. Weston had been a Special Education teacher for many years and faced many challenges throughout those years, the struggle in helping a child figure out if they are ready to grow up or not is always one of the hardest jobs. Whatever she said, would also be overheard by a few other kids in the room who were struggling with similar issues of figuring out if they were a big kid or a little kid.

There were a few points that could not be ignored however, Mrs. Weston had just changed Molly’s very wet and messy diaper. From what she had been told, Molly rarely, if ever, knew when she was messy. She may need diapers or some type of protection or medical device the rest of her life to deal with this issue. During the diaper change, Molly was sucking her thumb and returned to the classroom still sucking on it. Was Molly a big girl? Mrs. Weston knew that it all depended on how you look at it. It also depended on whether or not Molly wanted to be one.

Mrs. Weston looked around the room and saw everyone working, even though she knew they were all listening. “Molly,” she started. “You are a big first grader. Needing diapers does not change that.”

“She thinks she’s a baby because she wears diapers! Boy she has a lot to learn.”

Molly turned to see who it was that just said that. She knew it was a boy, and it sounded like a kid older than her. Was she about to get teased for pooping in her diapers?

“Jonathon,” Mrs. Weston promptly responded. “Today is her first day of wearing diapers to school, she is only use to wearing them at home. Now just because you have always worn diapers to school, that doesn’t mean you didn’t struggle with some of the same issues she is now dealing with.”

“Sorry Mrs. Weston,” Jonathon said meekly, as he turned back to the work on his desk.

Molly looked at Jonathon. He was a big kid a LOT older than her. He wore diapers?

As Molly contemplated this, a girl about Molly’s age came up to her and with a meek smile had a teddy bear held out to Molly. Very quietly she said, “Honey helps me when I am sad about my Pull-Ups.”

As Molly took the teddy bear, the girl’s smile got real big and she quickly went back to her seat. Molly turned back to Mrs. Weston and saw a big smile on her face. Molly hugged the bear, Honey.

Although Molly wanted to return to class and get out of this strange room with a bunch of kids she didn’t know, Mrs. Weston insisted that she stay for a little bit. Snuggling with Honey, Molly was lost in her own thoughts as Mrs. Weston talked to her. After a few minutes, she had Molly go over and helped Steven with his math.

Steven was working on counting little plastic teddy bears. He took a card off a stack and then had to put that many teddy bears into a bowl. Molly quickly found out he had trouble with any number bigger than 5. Without ever loosing her grip on Honey, she helped him get the right number of teddy bears into the bowl. It was real easy for Molly. Steven was different than the other first graders. Molly’s mom called him ‘special’. Molly didn’t know why he was called that, but he was a lot of fun to help and play with. He always liked playing with the little kid stuff, and no one teased you when you played with ‘baby’ toys if Steven was there. Molly always enjoyed playing with Steven and helping him.

Soon it was time for Molly and Steven to go back to the first grade classroom. Steven stopped at the doorway to Mrs. Weston’s room and looked at Molly. “Honey likes to stay in Mrs. Weston’s room.”

Molly looked down at Honey who was still tightly gripped under her arm. She smiled and then headed over to the girl who leant him to her. Giving Honey back, Molly leaned in and quietly said, “Honey is really good at helping, Thanks.”

Smiling Molly returned to Steven and they both headed back to their first grade classroom. When they got back to the classroom, Steven quietly walked in and sat down at his desk. No one seemed to notice him, but everyone was looking at Molly as she made her way back to her desk.

Molly quickly got into the lesson and was again enjoying her day without worrying about the reality of being in a diaper. They finished their morning lessons and went off to lunch. Flora and Molly ate lunch together and enjoyed playing on the playground afterwards. They played together all recess and on their way back in afterwards, the teacher stopped Molly and tugged on her ear. Molly’s cheerful expression faded as she turned and headed to Mrs. Weston’s room.

When she entered, only three kids were there. There was the big boy who wore diapers like her, a girl about the same age as the boy, and another kid she had never seen before. During the diaper change Molly had a lot of questions for Mrs. Weston about the two other kids in diapers, but instead just put her thumb in her mouth. Her wet diaper was quickly changed and Molly was sent back to class, but first Mrs. Weston said she should take her thumb out of her mouth before getting back to class. She quickly removed her thumb before leaving Mrs. Weston’s classroom.

Walking back into class, Molly felt that everyone was looking at her. When she sat down at her desk, Sue leaned over and whispered, “Where were you?” Molly didn’t answer; she just quickly got to work on the worksheet sitting in front of her. Molly tried real hard to focus on her work. She didn’t look at anybody. She didn’t look up at the teacher. She just looked down at her desk and did her work.

Molly still felt depressed by the time the class went to Music class, so she sat at the back of the room. She didn’t even want Flora sitting next to her. In the middle of class she had to pee, but there was NO WAY she was going to ask Mr. Farstone to go down to Mrs. Weston’s class so she could get help to go potty. Molly went in her diaper, figuring it was better than the alternative.

Back in her first grade classroom, Molly continued her avoidance techniques. Sue who sat next to her leaned in and whispered, “What’s wrong Molly?” Molly didn’t respond. She didn’t even look at Sue.

Molly continued working and ignoring everyone and everything. The teacher was circulating around the room helping kids do the assignment. Just before afternoon recess the teacher stopped at Molly’s desk and leaned down to her desk.

“You are doing real well on your work Molly,” she said smiling at Molly.

At this compliment Molly looked up at the teacher with a slight smile. The teacher was smiling back but also pulled on her ear. Molly’s smile immediately disappeared. She quietly got up and started out of the room. On the way out she heard one of the kids ask her where she was going. She didn’t look at the kid and definitely didn’t answer. To her horror however, as she turned the corner out of the room she heard Steven answer the question.

“She is going to get her diaper changed.”

Molly’s Deep Dark Secret
Part 23

By the time Molly walked into Mrs. Weston’s classroom, she was crying uncontrollably. Mrs. Weston didn’t know what had upset Molly so much, but figured it was more than just a wet or messy diaper. Grabbing Honey, she went over to console Molly. It took Mrs. Weston several minutes to get out of Molly that Steven had told everyone she wore and used diapers. Mrs. Weston tried to calm Molly down and re-assure her that Steven didn’t mean to hurt her feelings.

“I . . . I . . . I wike Steven. Why he do dis to m . . . m . . . me?”

“Molly, Steven doesn’t understand. He didn’t know that he wasn’t supposed to tell everyone. He just wants to be your friend.”

“I . . . I will never be his fwiend again. He a big meany.”

Mrs. Weston continued her efforts to calm Molly down and try to convince her that Steven just made a mistake. He didn’t know it would upset her. He wants to be her friend. He just didn’t understand. Molly hugged Honey and sucked on her thumb.

After about five minutes, Mrs. Weston took Molly back to get her wet and messy diaper changed. With her thumb in her mouth, Molly was quiet during the change, but Mrs. Weston continued to talk to her. Afterwards, they both sat down to talk some more. At recess time, Molly did not want to go out, so she stayed in Mrs. Weston’s room hugging Honey the teddy bear and sucking her thumb. Some toys were put on the table for Molly to play with, but she barely touched them.

After recess, Steven came into the room and went up to Molly. “Teacher said I needed to come down and a-pol-jee-wize. Me sorry Molly. Teacher said I wasn’t spose to tell. Sorry Molly. Will you still be my fwiend?”

Molly wanted to yell and scream at Steven. She wanted to push him away and tell him to get lost. She wanted to tell him he was a big meany and she would never play with him again. She wanted to, but with Steven standing in front of her with his head down she just couldn’t. Steven was taller than Molly, but she knew that Steven was just a little kid compared to her.

Molly looked at Steven and said, “It’s okay Steven.”

“Mrs. Weston, she wike me again!” Steven said all bubbly as he bounced over to Mrs. Weston.

No matter how much Molly didn’t want to, this made her smile. Her thoughts changed from anger to something Emily had said. The kids in Emily’s class knew she wore diapers and pull-ups, and they didn’t care. Emily actually preferred wearing pull-ups or diapers to school because kids didn’t know when she wet or messed, but they did when she wore panties. Molly thought back on the day. She had wet her diapers many times that day, and the other kids never found out. She had pooped her diapers twice, and if it hadn’t been for Steven, the other kids wouldn’t have known. Could Emily have been right? Could she really go to school with the other kids knowing she poops in her diapers and them not caring? Her Deep Dark Secret was out, how would her life change?

Very much to Molly’s disapproval, Mrs. Weston took Molly and Steven back to class. She brought both of them into the room and directed Molly to her seat. Slowly Molly went to her seat and sat down. She heard kids mumbling as she passed.

When she was finally in her seat and looking over the work on her desk, Sue leaned over and said, “I can’t believe Steven did that to you. Don’t worry, Jessica and I will make sure no one teases you.”

Molly quizzically looked at Sue. She had always been nice to Molly, but never a real friend. They had sat together for months and had been in the same reading group all year, but Sue always seemed to keep to herself or with Jessica. She rarely played with anyone else at recess other than Jessica. Was Sue trying to be nice, or was she just going to be mean. Molly wasn’t sure, so she said nothing and turned to the work on her desk.

At the end of the day when all the kids were getting their stuff together to go home, Molly was sent down to Mrs. Weston’s room for a diaper check before riding the bus home. Molly was surprised to find her Mom in the room talking with Mrs. Weston. She went running up to her and gave her a big hug. Molly was pulled up onto Mommy’s lap and with her thumb in her mouth, she snuggled into Mommy.

Mrs. Weston explained that Molly never attempted to use the toilet, therefore, needed many diaper changes. She talked about the challenges Molly faced that day. When she got to the part where Steven told the whole 1st grade class about Molly’s diapers, Mommy gave Molly a big hug.

“Oh my poor little baby, it was a rough day wasn’t it?”

When Mrs. Weston and Janice were done talking, Molly found her diaper being checked to see if it needed changing, with her still sitting in Mommy’s lap. After determining that she didn’t need to get changed yet, Molly found herself being carried out of the school, with her head on Mommy’s shoulder.

When they got home, Molly was changed into the most babyish outfit Janice could find. Molly didn’t say anything during this process, or while she was placed into her highchair. Mommy put some Goldfish crackers on the tray while she went to get something for Molly to drink. Quickly Mommy returned with a sippy cup in one and a bottle in the other, giving Molly a choice. Molly looked at Mommy, the choices and then back at Mommy.

“It is okay princess. You had a hard day being a big girl at school. No more pressure today. I will take care of everything for the rest of the day. You just have to decide one thing. Are you going to be Mommy’s little girl or my baby girl?”

Molly looked again at her two choices and then back up at Mommy.

“It is okay Molly. It is your choice. If you choose the bottle, I will treat you like a baby for the rest of the day. If you choose the sippy cup, you will just be my little princess.”

Molly slowly reached for the baby bottle. Looking up to Mommy, she saw a smile as she took the bottle and started to drink the milk. Molly was the baby for the rest of the day. She played with the baby toys and Mommy did everything without Molly having to worry about anything. Mommy even got down on the floor and played with Molly. She did find she couldn’t play with certain toys, because Mommy said they were not safe for babies to play with. Molly didn’t really mind, since she was enjoying her baby play too much.

Over the next several days, Molly found her life had changed. Her Deep Dark Secret was out. At school she was still a First Grader, just one who wore diapers. She actually had two new friends: Sue and Jessica. Molly found out that Sue still had a lot of potty accidents and wore diapers to bed every night and sometimes during the day. Jessica knew this, and on the rare occasion when Sue had an accident at school, Jessica would help her so the other kids wouldn’t find out. At recess, it became the four of them; Molly, Flora, Jessica, and Sue. They all learned the secret code, and would tug on their ear when they thought Molly needed her diapers changed. With Sue sitting next to her in class, she was Molly’s best resource for figuring out when she needed a change. The other kids all knew she was wearing diapers, but no one said anything to Molly. Jessica said she threatened to beat Billy up after she heard him say something about Molly’s diapers, but Molly never heard anyone say anything.

Molly also got to know Jonathon and Ali in Mrs. Weston’s class. Jonathan was a Fourth Grader who had to wear diapers all the time, having no bladder or bowel control. He let Molly know that if anyone gave her a hard time about her diapers, he would get them to stop. Ali was a Kindergartener who was learning how to use the potty. She was like Steven, still learning stuff like colors, letters, and numbers. Molly found that she could occasionally talk Mrs. Weston into staying in the room for a little bit, to help Steven and Ali.

Molly almost never used the toilet at school, but Mrs. Weston didn’t give her a hard time about it. She just told Molly that when she was ready, she could. Mrs. Weston was so nice and always made Molly feel special. She also never complained when Molly sucked on her thumb during a diaper change.

At home, Molly often chose to be a little girl and occasionally a baby after school. She liked it, especially when school was hard that day. Mommy and Marcus were always so loving when she was a baby or little girl. On the days she had to go to Daycare, nothing really changed, since she wore diapers to Daycare before Mommy’s wedding.

Molly had her new life, now she just had to find her place in it. She was finding that she had a lot of support to help her find her way. Things were settling down in her life, and Thursday after school while getting her diaper changed, she was reminded just how much things had not changed.

“Molly, spell – this –”

“T - H - I - S”

“Good, now spell – jump –” Molly’s mom asked as she continued working.

“J - U - M - P”

“Your going to ace your spelling test this week dear.” Molly’s mom said with pride as she continued cleaning Molly up. “Now spell - stump -”

“S - U - M - P”

“Well, maybe we better do some more practicing. – STUMP – is spelled; S - T - U - M - P. Now do you want Big Bird or Cookie Monster.”

“Cookie Monster, S - T - U - M - P?”

“Yup, STUMP – S - T - U - M - P” Mommy said as she quickly got the diaper with Cookie Monster on it fastened on to Molly. “Okay, that is enough practice for now. I have to go get dinner ready.” Molly was picked up, given a hug, and put down on the floor. Mom straightened out Molly’s dress before the 6, almost 7 year old, went running off to play.

The End

2 Likes

Re: Molly’s Deep Dark Secret

I enjoyed this story alot, I kinda wish I had the same issues as Molly sometimes.

(please remove my post from the Molly’s Deep Darkest Secret Part 23 thread)

Re: Molly’s Deep Dark Secret

Great story… didn’t want to stop reading.

Re: Molly’s Deep Dark Secret

Thank You. I started this story early in my time of writing and posting stories. Half way through I stopped and wrote R.O.O.M., which changed me as a writer. If you look at the story closely, you will notice a change of writing quality. I tried to go back and smooth over that, but after a few efforts I decided it would require a total re-write to fix. Haven’t gotten around to that yet.

Thank You for reading and commenting. If you liked this you might like my 9 other stories posted on this site.

Keep Smiling, Keep Writing,
Teekabell

Re: Molly’s Deep Dark Secret

Thank you for the fun and unique story. I loved it!

Re: Molly’s Deep Dark Secret

nice story, I loved it

Re: Molly’s Deep Dark Secret

That is one of my favorites, I’ve read it a couple of times in the past, and now I enjoyed it once again, I wonder if I’m alone that enjoy reading the same story more than once.

Re: Molly’s Deep Dark Secret

[QUOTE=littleatheartdl;58222]Great story… didn’t want to stop reading.[/QUOTE. The story was great. I really could relate to Molly.

Trust me, no you don’t. When I went to school it was nothing for me have an accident in my pants. They barely came out with Pampers but I was to big. I was diagnosed with the nerve the went to my bladder and bowels did not completely form all the way. I was tormented all my life growing up. Friends didn’t ask me to spend the night because I wet the bed. Even to this day if I don’t wear some sort of protection I was always looking for the closes bathroom.

Re: Molly’s Deep Dark Secret

Writing characters people can relate to is always a fun challenge. It is the one element that people seem to like most in my stories. Thanks for reading. If you liked this one, you will like some of my other stories. Enjoy

Keep Smiling, Keep Writing
Teekabell