Snow falls outside. Charles stares at it for a while. His mind is consumed with his life. It had only been a few months since he had started dating Vicki. He wanted it to be perfect. He had been a good Christian man. He treated her fairly and truth be told they got along very well. One thing bothered him. His secret. How and when he could tell her was what was keeping him up that night. The snow falls and he watches it for a while. Truth be told he wasn’t a bad man. He just felt differently then most people. He had been to see several therapists about his desire and most had not been helpful. The last one had. She had shown him that he was OK feeling they way he felt and that there was nothing wrong with it. Charles could look himself in the mirror and after a few sessions with her know who he was. He was an Adult and a baby at the same time. Charles had spent years learning about who he was and now felt like he knew.
The problem was how to tell Vicki and not have her go running for the hills. Charles was not sure what to do and he needed to talk to someone. But who could he talk to. So he sighed and went back to looking out the window at the snow falling on the ground. As he shuffled his feet, he felt his diaper crinkle. He loved the way the diapers felt. He loved who he was and looked forward to sharing this with this woman that he was falling in love with. Still how could he explain this to her and not have her want nothing to do with him. Charles continued to look out at the window and watch the snow fall. In some ways it reminded him of his situation. Here he was trying to sugar coat something that mattered a great deal to him. As the snow was starting to stick to the ground he watch and wondered. Part of him wanted so badly to tell her how he felt and have her be OK with it. After all he was the same man in both cases. He just was also a baby and needed to be a baby in some manor.
Charles was deep in thought when his cell phone rang. He almost jumped out of his skin. Hearing the familiar ring he walked over to the phone to answer it. " Hi Sweetheart" He said into the receiver. " " Hey… Can you believe this snow. " came the answer. " Its coming down pretty hard. " " I know… We may not be able to go out tomorrow night like we hoped. " She replied.
Charles thought about this. He needed to see her and no snowstorm was gonna keep him from her. " I don’t think it will come to that. I really need to see you. " Charles said matter-of-factly. " And I need to see you. " She replied. " Well… I had better get of to bed so I can be well rested for our date tomorrow night. Good night Charles" " Good night princess" He spoke as the line went dead. How was he gonna tell her how he felt. Even he admitted that it was not a normal thing to talk about. THere had to be a way. He just was not sure what that way would be. Looking around his apartment he saw his pacifer laying on the table. Grabbing it he started to suck to calm his nerves. His needs were not that hard for him to understand. But what was he gonna tell her. After all he was falling in love and wanted to spend real time with this woman. But what if she finds out that I am a baby and wants nothing to do with me? What is the thought of me in diapers scares her to death? What am I gonna do? He needed to talk to someone and he needed to do it before he talked to her.
Charles wandered over to the computer and logged on to the Internet. In a matter of minutes he was on his favorite web site and began to post his problem. What is the best way to tell someone you are an infantist? He then checked his facebook status and his emails. Lastly he logged on the yahoo chat to see if anyone was on-line to chat with. Seeing no one He logged off and turned off his computer. Looking at the clock told him that he should he off to bed. Grabbing a bottle, he filled it with milk and then headed to his room. After saying his prayers he climbed into bed and began to drink. Soon he was off to sleep. Dreaming of what to say to the woman of his dreams.