love story chapter three

Here is chapter three of my latest story. Sorry it took so long. Still not sure how I want to tell this story. Comments are always welcome.


Chapter three

" Hello princess" Charles said as he let his sweatheart in. It took only a mintue for Charles to greet her and then excuse himself to get dressed. Gratefully she did not ask why he was wearing his robe so quickly after church. Soon Charles was dressed in normal clothes and was sitting on the couch looking at Vicki. " I thought you had to work today. " " Just school work and I got it done. " " I see so what brings you by?" Vicki looked at him. She really looked, more like stared at him. " We need to talk. " She finally said. Charles let out a sigh. " Of course. About what? " " Your secret. " " What secret?"
" I am not sure. I jst get this feeling that there is something you need to tell me. Something that you are keeping from me. " Vicki responded.
Charles Heart leaped into his throat. She could not possably know. Quickly he searched his mind for how she might have found out before today. Finding nothing did very little to ease his mind.
" Earth to Charles"
" What?"
" Where did you go just now? "
" I was just thinking."
" About your secret?’
" What secret?"
Vicki looked at him. He had to be kidding, She knew that he was keeping something from her and she wanted to know what it was. " Look, " She started " I am not interested in continuing in this relationship if we keep things from each other. I feel like I am falling in love with you and do not want my heart hurt again by lies and deceptions. So either tell me whats going on or else. "
Charles looked at her for a moment. She was dead serious. He also felt like he was falling in love and did not want things to keep things from her. But would she understand? Could she really still love a man who is a baby at heart.
" Well are you going to tell me or not?" Vicki demanded.
Charles took a deep breath. " OK." He finally said. " but understand this is not a easy thing to say or to explain. In fact I have wanted to tell you for a while now and just have not have the courage to do so. " Vicki put her hand to his face. " Its OK take your time. I’m not going anywhere. "
" OK. " Charles said.
After a few mintues of silence between them Charles began to speak. He told Vicki about this inner child that he felt like. He told her of his interest in wearing diapers, drinking out of bottles and sucking on pacifers. He even managed to get out the feelings he had been feeling for the past few days. When he was finished, Vicki stood up and looked at him. " I need to think about this" she said. " I’ll call you later. " with that she walked out the door. Charles sat on the couch in shock. He was not sure what to think. He had told her everything and she seemed to be… OK he had no idea what she felt like. Charles got up and went into his bedroom. His eyes feel on the diapers he had taken off when Vicki had arrived. Something in him needed that feeling right now. Slowly he put himself back into diapers and then layed down and cried himself to sleep.

Re: love story chapter three

ok i just read your three chapters and well its ok. it has potential to be great but at the moment its on the low side of being ok. You need to expand. What you have in your chapters now is enough, in terms of events and that but you need to expand. like delve deeper into your characters, describe things more and work on your dialogue a bit more. Id suggest re writing your first three chapters and aim to have 2000 words or so. but dont add in any new events or anything. just expand on them

Anyway keep it up