Lilly's Fate (Pre Story Archive)

First, I would like to shout out @jackchef for the story idea. Second, I want to do something different with this one, I have seen this done on several forums but not here, so, here goes. Ideally, the community will chose the direction of the story through A/B answers to directional questions. Out of the first 5 votes, I will chose the direction that the story moves in. So let’s try it!

{Note: Starting on 7, the story starts. I have ditched the community choices function in favor of a smooth and quicker story}

Lilly’s Amazon is a very mean Amazon. But, at the moment, she doesn’t have a name. (Note this is just a test question)

Choose here:

A: Cathy/Cathrine


From what I’ve been told by @Penguin, there’s been a few attempts to try something like this in the past, and they never go anywhere, Heck a good chunk of our traffic is from guests, not users with accounts so the bulk of the people reading this won’t be able to vote anyway.

Thanks for letting me know, I would like to see how this pans out first.

I would also like to chip in some feedback as much as this seems like a cool idea I struggle to keep up with it but I’ll at least give you some help and vote


I do think you could have a super successful story but it might be better if you write what you want it’s more likely to suit your style that way and you will enjoy the process as lot more and it will help your creative flow as well

Good day / evening, I have decided to remove the “community choices” tab from this story as I feel my story, per @DanniLikesNaps’s advice and my own impatience, and have decided to move forward with the story. As the storyline was @jackchef’s idea, I will honor his choice in the Amazon’s name being Cathy/Cathrine.


[Begin phone call]

“Are the documents ready?”

“Yes, you should have no issues with the adoption.”

“Thank you, Arthur.”

“That’s what you pay me for Ms. White.”

“Of course, but you have always done outstanding work.”

“Thank you, Ms. White,”

“How many times do I have to tell you? Call me Cathy.”

“Alright Ms. … I mean Cathy.”

“Good, I will be in to sign the papers in the morning.”

“Sounds good. Goodnight, Cathy.”

“Goodnight, Arthur.”

[End phone call]

Cathy has dreamed of having her own little to take care of since she was a little girl. At age 33, she finally was able to fulfill this dream, buying her first crib, high chair, and most of all, a few big boxes of Comfie’s Crawler Diapers.

[Lilly’s side]

Being a free little was hard. You always have to look over your shoulder, there were always snatchers looking for littles to nab off the streets. Unfortunately, there are few laws in place to protect those littles, leaving them with little protection from the cruel world they find themselves in.

Lilly is a 4’ 4” little with short, curly blond hair and big, light brown eyes that don’t help her case of being a grown adult. She has soft round cheeks and a rounded chin that still make her look like a child. These traits attract a group of criminals called snatchers. Snatchers are like kidnappers, but rather than stealing young amazons, they take free littles and sell them to adoption agencies, who then strip them of all records from their past, leaving them with only their first names, hardly enough to live on if they escape.

Lilly was like any other free little, struggling to make it in a world where people 4 feet taller than her were always treating her like she was a kid, degrading her around every corner. Looking over her shoulder was another ‘perk’ of being free. You never knew when someone was going to try to nab you off the street, bring you to an adoption center, and make your life disappear, as if you never existed at all. It was that fateful morning of March 7th that exactly that happened.

Suddenly, as she is walking down the street, going home from work, Lilly feels the sharp prick of a needle enter her neck, she tries to yelp, but it gets watered down to a gasp, and then, nothing.

{Note: I am open to all constructive critique. I would like to improve my writing after all.}

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I think you have a good basis for a start here that’s for sure I like the idea that you from the outset make it clear of Cathy’s intentions by buying crawler diapers i how they are exclusively what her new adoptee wears I would love to see longer chapters I think that would help you in building the story line I think short chapters can sometimes make it seem very broken but that’s totally up to you as an author. But all in all a good start and as someone who always has wanted to see the main character portray a mean mommy I’m excited

The short chapter was just for the Prologue. I plan to have a much lengthier chapter 1. Thank you for the tips!

Perfect I look forward to that

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Hello Nicole, I don’t want that for this story either! I also find these stories bland and disengaging.

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Yeah, it will be a while. I have some personal things related to my mental health that I am dealing with, so juggling that with college with writing is difficult. I hope to have chapter 1 out by the end of the month.

Update: I have updated the prolouge to help flesh out Lilly and correct some issues with the flow of the story. I am a good ways through chapter 1 and hope to release it sometime next week.

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I will be making a new post where the story itself will be posted.

Replacement topic is here