The three men came to consciousness quite suddenly. The last thing each of them remembered was coming home, cheap but practical baby gift in hand and opening the door, and then, as if reality itself had had a stroke, they were here.
And more disturbing to each of them, in turn, was that they each had the distinct impression of having missed time. It was difficult to describe, really. It didn’t have the groggy feel of slowly waking up from a long sleep, or the wooziness of waking up from a nasty hit on the head. It was more like they had been “on” one moment, switched “off” as soon as they had gotten home, and now who knows how much time had passed and they were back “on” again. They existed, they ceased to exist, and they existed again. They had been dead, now they weren’t.
They were dead…
“The….?” Jim stopped himself from talking, his voice raw and caught in his throat. He took a few more deep breaths, cleared his throat and finished, “…hell?” He looked to his left and his right, Dale and Steve were beside him on the floor.
They were on the floor.
All three of them were blinking and turning their heads, confused as to what was going on.
“Fuck was…” Dale coughed. “…fuck was that?”
“No idea,” Steve grunted. “I feel like I’ve got a two ton weight on my shoulders though.”
“Where are we?” Jim asked. He sat up, the light rustling crinkle he heard not registering to his conscious mind as anything other than the slight creek of floorboards under old carpet. Dale sat up too, rubbing his eyes, his vision still blurred from whatever drug was still in his system. It had to be a drug doing this. He didn’t notice the sounds his movement was making either.
Steven didn’t even think to sit up. He rolled over to his belly instead, lifting his head up oh so slightly off the ground to get a look around; but he would be forgiven for that soon enough.
The room was painted pastel blue- baby boy blue- and pictures of Looney Tunes paraded around the top trim of the wall. They were baby Looney Tunes, Dale noted. Bugs, Daffy, Sylvester, Porky; the whole gang. They were playing with blocks, or lying on their backs, crawling after a bouncing ball, or taking naps. Stereotypical snapshot stuff you put as the sample pictures in frames. Baby stuff.
You knew they were the “baby” Looney Tunes because each and every one of them had a plain, puffy white diaper wrapped around their bums, and nothing else. It wasn’t until he rubbed his eyes and took a second look that Dale noticed that even though they were definitely wearing puffy white diapers, those weren’t the “baby” Looney Tunes.
A full grown, but padded Sylvester cuddled with a stuffed Tweety Bird. Bugs Bunny, also diapered, walked with stiff legs, and an awkward gate with arms flailing, a tiny carrot in his mouth like a pacifier. Dale even noticed a scene of Porky Pig getting his ass dusted with baby powder by Granny, what could only be a fresh diaper laid beneath him as Granny hoisted his legs into the air with one hand and applied powder with the other.
“Is that a fuckin’ crib?” Steve asked from his position on the floor. “It’s huge!” Indeed it was. Any one of them could have fit into the bed with the wooden bars. The entire room, each realized as they took in their surroundings, had the appearance of a nursery for oversized infants.
The giant crib was directly behind them. To their right was a dresser with a concave, cradling changing mat so thick it might as well have been an air mattress. A colossal wooden box marked “TOYS” was to their left, and directly in front of them was a small walk-in closet.
Jim stood up off the floor and walked to the closet. As he looked through the clothes he saw rows of shirts and shorts decorated with cartoon characters like Spongebob Squarepants and Jake and the Neverland Pirates. In the back he saw a couple of boxes of Huggies lying against the wall. The only thing that struck Jim as odd was that all of the clothes seemed big considering how they were decorated. Some of the shirts looked like they could even fit him.
Jim stepped out of the closet.
“Jim,” Steve called from his spot on the floor. Something sounded off about Steve, like something was bothering him;
“Just a second, bro,” Jim said sliding the closet door closed. He looked at the closet door, and then turned his head to the right, where there as a door leading out of the room. Then Jim’s spacial awareness finally kicked in.
“Guys, I know this room.” Jim said, looking to his friends who for some reason were still on the floor. Steve hadn’t even sat up yet. “This is the spare guest room in my house. Somebody re-painted it. Jim went for the door leading out to prove his theory. His hand clutched rough, hard plastic and he turned the knob, but to no avail.
“What the…?” Jim drew his hand back and looked at the door knob. It had a child grip on it. Stranger yet, Jim soon realized as he tried to open the door again, his hand couldn’t properly navigate the grip. His fingers had developed a mind of their own, and that mind wasn’t particularly bright.
“My hands…” Jim gasped, looking as though his own digits had betrayed them.
“Dale,” Steve called when Jim had ignored him. Dale wasn’t much better. Dale was preoccupied with his own problems.
“Jim,” Dale said, a touch of panic in his voice. “I got a problem, man. I can’t stand up. My legs aren’t working.”
Jim turned from the door and looked down at Dale. He noticed that Dale was still sitting on the floor, his bare legs gathered up underneath him, and his bare feet digging impotently into the carpet. Dale looked like he was trying to rock forward, but he could barely get his rump off the ground, and his feet wouldn’t move or shift to support his weight. He just kept rocking back and forth as if that would somehow accomplish something.
It only then registered to Jim that his friend wasn’t wearing any pants. Dale was clad in nothing but an orange t-shirt and ridiculous underwear printed with polka dots, circles, tiny pictures of Disney characters and for some reason the number 3. Only, Jim realized, it wasn’t underwear…not really.
“Dude…” Jim said. “Are you in a diaper?”
Dale, who had just then managed to shift his weight enough so that he could support his weight on the palms of his hand and the flats of his feet- like a little scrunched up cat- looked between his legs and couldn’t believe his eyes.
“SHIT!” he yelped, right before he tried to cover his groin with his hands. He was beet red. Unfortunately, this caused him to lose balance and fall right back onto his padded backside.
“The fuck man?!” Dale’s legs splayed a bit as he was forced to sit back down, the bulk of the diaper caused his legs to spread ever so slightly. Adrenaline rushing, Dale went for the tapes around his waist- ready to rip the infantile garment off of him right then and there- only to find out that much like Jim, his fingers wouldn’t cooperate.
“The hell,” Dale said as he struggled in vain to remove the diaper, “Why won’t these tapes come off?” Dale took a closer look at what was encasing his nether region. “And who makes Huggies this big?”
“Dude,” Jim laughed. “You look ridiculous. Steve, did you get a look at this?”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, fucker,” Steve cursed. “I. Can’t. Move.”
Both Dale and Jim finally took the time to notice their friend. Steve, all close to three hundred pounds of him, was sprawled on the floor, squirming pathetically with his arms and legs leeched of strength and not getting any traction whatsoever.
Unlike Dale, who was pants-less, and Jim with his T-shirt and shorts, Steve was dressed in soft yellow pajamas with feet sewn in. Only Steve’s hands and head remained uncovered. And even though they couldn’t see it directly, the crinkling sound as he struggled to find purchase and significant bulge around his hips and buttocks made it obvious that he was thickly diapered.
“Ha!” Jim pointed and laughed. “You guys are so messed up, man. I knew you were going to a baby shower, but I didn’t think you’d be the baby!” Steve groaned and grunted as he managed to roll back over to his back with almost Herculean effort.
“This isn’t…errrrr…funny…Jim.” Steve said. “Besides, you’re dressed like a baby, too, bro.”
“What?” Jim was incredulous. “No I’m not. I’m…” he looked down at himself. His T-shirt had a “Go Diego Go” logo on it, and his shorts- which come to think of it he didn’t normally wear shorts- were a soft Navy Blue color with an elastic waistband. His shoes were an obnoxious shade of neon yellow and were obviously the kind with Velcro instead of shoe laces. Still, that didn’t mean that he was dressed like a…
Jim heard the crinkle as he bent over to look at his shoes, and realized it was coming from him. How he had not noticed how far apart his feet were? He realized he had appeared to gain a few padded inches of girth directly below his belly as well. Jim lifted the front of his shirt up and heard Dale and Steve gasp and start to sputter as he looked down at his waist. Poking up above the elastic waistband of his new shorts was a white paper thin top of a diaper, and for some reason, Jim somehow knew that if he pulled his pants down he’d see Mickey and Minnie Mouse holding hands on the front. Just like the Huggies that he’d bought earlier today.
“There they are!” a familiar voice caught Jim’s attention. The voice was immediately followed by equally familiar giggles. Jim turned around and saw, what had made Dale and Steve start gasping and sputtering in embarrassment: Lisa, Mindy, and Heather. Their wives.
“Whatcha doin’ lifting up your shirt, big boy?” Lisa came over to Jim. “Are you wet?” Then, without any further warning, Jim found his pants yanked down and his wife squeezing the front of his diaper, a dry crinkle being the result. “Nope,” she pronounced.
“Baby!” Jim screeched. “Not in front of the-“
“I know, I know,” Lisa tutted as she walked around Jim. “You’re a big boy and don’t like having your diaper changed in front of the littler babies, but Mommy’s still gotta check.” That wasn’t what he was going to say at all! Still, Jim stood there, a crimson statue of embarrassment as his wife pulled back the waistband of his diaper and glanced down his backside. “Good for now,” she pronounced, letting the diaper snap back into place. Then, just as quickly as she yanked Jim’s shorts down, she bent over and shimmied them up his hips.
“Mindy? Heather?” Lisa talked over Jim’s astonished swearing, “How are your boys?”
Dale gawked like a fish as Heather walked over to him, her high heels and the fact that she could stand making her seem so much taller than he was.
“Honey,” he started, “this isn’t what it looks mmmph!” Dale’s attempt to explain was cut short as his wife shoved a pacifier in his mouth and clipped it to his t-shirt. Dale’s lips began sucking on the thing immediately, and a strange sense of relaxation began to spread through him. That didn’t mean that he didn’t notice or mind when Heather bent over and traced the thin yellow line on his diaper running down his crotch with her finger nail.
“Still dry,” she said, a hint of disappointment in her voice. “Oh well,” she said, bending over, “let’s get you to your party. Dale had wanted to echo “party”, but his lips wouldn’t stop sucking, so all that came out of him was a mumbled “pahpy?”
The almost stoned buzz that Dale was getting from the rubber tit between his lips was thrown off as Heather, his wife almost his exact same size and weight grabbed him under his arm pits and deadlifted him off the floor. His legs, part from shock and part from a long buried instinct wrapped around Heather’s waist. In a seamless, and effortless transition, Heather moved one hand to Dale’s back, and the other arm to under his rear end. She was holding him like a baby.
“Mommy!” Dale shrieked without entirely meaning to; though the pacifier in his mouth made it come out as “Mmmmeee!”. Heather looked at Dale in the eye, and a faint smile crossed her lips.
“Dude!” Dale heard Jim exclaim. Dale looked over at Jim. Jim hadn’t seemed to notice it, but he was holding Lisa’s hand, now. Jim’s hand was white knuckled, while Lisa barely seemed to register.
Mindy walked over to her husband and knelt down beside his prone form.
“Mindy, help!” Steve begged. “I…I…I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” Mindy ignored her husband and unsnapped a few buttons running up the legs of his feetie pajamas. Barely able to lift his head up, Steve felt her two slender fingers slipping past the leg gathers of what was most definitely the diaper he was wearing and feel around.
“He’s wet,” Mindy actually smiled, “but I think he’ll be okay for a little while longer.” She quickly refastened the buttons she had undone.
“Wait!” Steve panicked, “You don’t mean I…I…?” The words “I pissed myself” wouldn’t voluntarily come to Steve’s brain, but they did to Dale and Jim’s. Both Jim and Dale watched in astonishment as Mindy, who while tall, was over a hundred and fifty pounds lighter than her husband, picked him up from the floor and cradled his massive form in her arms.
Steve’s diaper became a little wetter for the experience.
“Okay, Mommies,” Lisa proclaimed, “now that we have the stars of our party, let’s go meet the guests.”
“Guests?” All three said.
Then the three ladies began to walk. Dale could only hold onto Heather. Steve, big as he was might as well have been a kitten in Mindy’s arms. And Jim try as he might, couldn’t pull away from Lisa’s grip. He tried, briefly to dig his heels, but his feet wouldn’t listen and just kept in a leisurely pace with Lisa who was leading the way out of their spare guest room, down the hall and into the living room.
“Lisa,” he said, “what’s going on? Why are we dressed like-?“
“Patience, big boy,” Lisa pushed a finger on his lips, which somehow shushed him. “It’s your and your little friends’ big day.”
“Aaaaawwwww!” a series of overlapping and ear piecing cooes and squeals overwhelmed the men’s ears as they were carried and lead into the living room. Women, close to a dozen of them, all around their age, were sitting around the family room with gift boxes in childish wrapping paper.
Jim, still being led by his wife, avoided eye contact. The women, who all seemed to know his name kept saying “Hi” to him, and waving at him.
They were smiling at Jim, but not in a way that made him feel particularly comfortable. When he finally caved and waved back at them, causing them to cheer even more. He felt like a trained monkey. Like a captive animal he immediately began looking for exits and to his dismay noticed that there was an impossibly high wooden gate blocking his way to the front door. No way was he going to be able to jump that, not with the super thick underwear crinkling between his legs and throwing off his gait. He was the only one of his friends that could still walk, it seemed, and it was more of a waddle at present.
Dale was getting more of the same, with the requests for waving “hi”. Instead of complying like Dale, he buried his face in Heather’s hair, nuzzling her shoulder as if it could protect him from all of these strangers. That only made them redouble their efforts. They started running their fingers through his hair, and patting his pack. Some even tried to poke him or tickle him while beckoning “Look at me!”
“He’s so shy.”
“Poor little guy”
“Doesn’t know what’s going on.”
Well, they at least had that part right.
“Awww,” Heather reassured him, gently. “It’ll be okay.” Somehow, Dale knew that to be both true as far as Heather was concerned and a complete lie as far as he was.
Steve had his cheeks pinched, and his belly rubbed as Mindy paraded him around the living room, every woman’s hand just dying to touch him as if he held the cure for cancer.
“Oh my god, so tiny!”
“Are you kidding? He’s already gotten so big!”
“Stop!” Steve demanded after the first one started tickling his chin.
“Stop!” He pleaded when a second one started working on his feet.
“Staaaa”, he broke down into whining and squirming and squealing when an entire horde descended upon him and he was unable to do anything to stop it.
“This was a great idea, Lisa,” one of the strangers said. “Having a late baby shower for little Stevie at the same time as a birthday party for Jimmy is just perfect! Two birds with one stone” she raised a wine glass.
“And don’t forget Dale’s christening,” Heather chirped in.
“Oh, he was so cute up there in his fancy little onesie,” One of the strange women added. “Good thing you got that off him as soon as you did, though. Wouldn’t want him getting it all messed up crawling around on the floor.”
“Wish I could just crawl around the floor in my underwear,” one of the guests joked as she tipped back a glass.
“Didn’t that used to be your job?” another remarked. More tipsy laughter followed.
“So which gifts should we open first?” someone asked when the laughter died down.
“Oh I think we should open little Stevie’s gifts,” Mindy said, “but then I’m biased.”
“That’s a good idea,” Heather nodded while lightly bouncing Dale on her hip.”
“I agree,” Lisa said. “Jimmy’s a big boy. He can wait. Besides, if we let him start opening his gifts, he’s gonna want to open everyone’s.” All the women nodded as if sage wisdom had just been uttered from the lips of the sage herself. Jim thought he saw a few mouth the words “Terrible Twos”.
“Do you want little Stevie to open his presents?” a guest asked.
“Oh, I don’t think he has the patience to sit in my lap while I help him unwrap everything” Mindy said. “Why don’t we let little ones play in the pen a bit, and I’ll open the first round of gifts.”
“Agreed,” Lisa said.
Lisa led Jimmy over to an impossibly large playpen that could have been the plastic, steel, and mesh skeleton of a bounce house and put Jimmy inside it. Jimmy waddled through the door, a door that a regular playpen would never need and turned around to view the party behind him.
“Aren’t you worried that Jimmy might be too rough with the little ones?” someone asked.
“Not really,” Heather said, lowering Dale onto the floor of the playpen with Jimmy. “Jimmy and Dale have always gotten along so well.”
“And I know they’ll both be careful with Stevie,” Mindy added, as she laid Steve down the padded mat on the floor.
“Now let’s open some presents!”
“Dude,” Steve choked back a sob as the women began to drink more wine and unwrap presents somehow intended for the men, “the hell is going on?!”
“Vey fink…!” Dale stopped and finally spit the pacifier out of his mouth, leaving it to dangle on the clip.
“They think we’re babies or something,” Dale hissed. Dale managed to scramble to all fours and was now on his hands and knees.
“Yeah, but why?” Jim asked. “I mean, Dale’s in a diaper, but…-”
“You’re in a diaper too, asshole!” Dale snapped.
“At least you can’t see mine right now,” Jim’s lip curled defensively.
“Really?” Dale said, “because I’m pretty sure you’ve either got a diaper on under those shorts, or you gained five pounds in the ass and are really, really happy to see me.”
“Guys!” Steve pleaded, “This isn’t a competition. We’re all fucked.”
“Says the guy who wet his diaper,” Jim snarked.
“Jim!” Steve growled. “I can’t sit up, mother fucker!” Both Jim and Dale had the decency to look ashamed. “I feel like I’ve been working out for non-stop and that there are invisible weights on every major muscle in my body and that my spotter is on coffee break. And I’ve got a giant sponge wrapped around my dick that’s getting wetter and wetter every couple of minutes.”
“Okay man,” Jim admitted. “This isn’t a competition. You win ‘suckiest situation’ right now. How do we get out of this?”
“I don’t even know how we got into this,” Steve said.
“Me neither,” Jim sat down so he could look his friends in the eye.
Dale shook his head, and began to grab his pacifier to put it back in his mouth like a smoker going for a pack. A glare from Jim and Steve made him reconsider.
“You heard what they said, right?” Steve asked from his back. “This is a baby shower…for me.”
“And my second birthday party,” Jim added.
“And I apparently got Christened today,” Dale said. “But we’re not babies.”
“I dunno,” Steve said. “Diapers. Wet. Hard to move. I’m kinda feelin’ the part.” It was meant to be a kind of ironic joke to cut the tension, but inside, Steve was already beginning to despair.
“Yeah, we’re dressed the part,” Jim acknowledged, “and kinda acting the part, too. But that shouldn’t matter. We’re still grown-ass men”
“Yeah,” Dale agreed. “How is Heather picking me up, then? Fuck, how is Mindy picking up Steve? No offense Steve.”
“None taken,” Steve replied. “It’s pretty fuckin’ weird.”
“So this is more than just dress up,” Jim said. “But what’s going on?”
“Sounds like somebody’s hungry.” Mindy walked over and into the play pen, interrupting their conversations. “You hungry, little guy?”
“Little?!” Dale shouted indignantly. “Mindy, he’s like me and Jim put together!” He reached up to tug on her dress.
“Uh, uh, uh,” Mindy easily swatted Dale’s grasp away. “You’ll have to get fed by your Mommy, sweetie.”
“It’s like they’re ignoring us because we can’t talk or something,” Jim said. Predictably, Mindy didn’t respond.
Steve’s world was thrown off again as he was lifted into the air and cradled by what had until today, been his wife. Now, Steve wasn’t quite so certain. Soon he was separated from his lifelong friends and being taken out of the playpen.
“Let’s get some num-nums in your tum-tums,” Mindy announced. “No cake for you. Mommy’s got all you need.”
“Do you want room on the couch?” one of Mindy’s work friends asked, preparing to give up her seat.
“No I’m fine doing it here,” Mindy said, gently settling down on the soft carpet of the living room; repositioning Steve on the floor so that his head and upper body was in her lap, and his legs sprawling on the floor. The continued remarks of “so tiny” made it clear they weren’t seeing the same thing as he was.
“Time to eat,” Mindy said, as she popped one of her breasts out of her dress. “Show everyone what a good little eater you are.”
Here? Here?! In front of everyone? Steve trembled, helplessly as Mindy guided his mouth to her nipple. And of their own accord, fueled by a long buried primal instinct, Steve’s lips latched on. A small but vital part of his adult-self broke away from him with each gulp, and Steve felt the warmth of Mindy’s milk filling him and sliding down his throat, as well as a very different warmth soaking into the front of his already saturated diaper.
“Oh, Mommy,” he whispered between gulps. Meanwhile, Mindy whispered sweet nothings to him and rubbed his back. The two seemed, if only for a moment, completely content.
Jim and Dale watched on in silence from the play pen. They didn’t say it, but both of them were a little jealous. Maybe the big guy didn’t have it so bad after all.
“Mommy,” Steve gasped as he was shifted over to the other breast. “Please.” Whether he was about to beg for help or beg for more, only Steve knew for sure, and even he might not have known. All the while, giant “Steve size” onesies and jammies and teething rings and baby blankets were being unwrapped and shown to Mindy, who just nodded her approval while Steve kept nursing. When he was done Mindy sat him up and started beating on his back.
Several loud belches followed in quick succession, followed by applause from the other party goers, including Dale and Jim’s wives.
“I think it’s about time for a nap for this little baby,” Mindy announced while Lisa and Heather spread out a baby blanket on the floor. All the other women watched in awe as she delicately picked the giant baby up and laid him on the floor. Steve seemed drunk in a haze.
“But first…” she held out her hand. Heather brought her an already open package of Huggies, Size 1, and Mindy removed a diaper from the pack. Jim and Dale’s jaws both hung wide open as they watched the tiny diaper, meant for infants only a few months old, at most, balloon into something that could fit their plus-sized best friend. The Winnie the Pooh decoration on the diaper stared back at them from their spot in the playpen.
“Holy shit!” Dale shuddered. “Did you see that, man?”
“Yeah,” Jim nodded mutely. The world had gone mad. “Yeah I did.” Then he looked over to Dale and a flash of blue drew his eye down to Dale’s crotch.
“Whoah!” Jim exclaimed.
“Huh?” Dale looked down at the diaper between his legs. The wetness indicator had turned blue. “Whoah!” Dale echoed. “I…I peed!”
“Yeah,” Jim said dumbly.
“When did that happen?” Dale asked. Dale stared at his urine soaked crotch and wondered. The wet squish down below confirmed what the wetness indicator told his eyes. But how could he, an adult, manage to wet himself and not even notice it until someone else pointed it out to him?
“No clue,” Jim shook his head. “No clue at all.” Jim tentatively grabbed between his legs. Thankfully, as far as he could tell, he was still dry.
“Mommy!” Steve mewled. “Mommy! Nooooo!” Jim and Dale turned their attention away from their own diapers to Steve getting his changed.
“Such a fussy little guy.”
“Oh they always hate getting their diaper changed at this age.”
Mindy placed the gigantic “Size 1” diaper down and used both hands to rip at the tapes of Steve’s all but destroyed Huggies. Steve kicked feebly at the air as the front of his diaper was pulled down and cold wipes were drawn across his cock and balls before being deposited into the front of the soggy padding.
Mindy easily lifted his legs into the air and wiped his ass before dropping the last of the wipes into the wet diaper and kept his hips and buttocks off the ground while she slid the old diaper out and balled it up on itself with her free hand.
She only hit a snag when she reached for the fresh Huggies. She wasn’t sure how to unfold the diaper with one hand and keep her giant baby husband’s legs in the air.
“Better hurry before he tinkles again,” one of the visitors teased.
Lisa, still nearby, unfolded the diaper for Mindy and handed it to her so she could slide it under Steve and set him down on the fresh padding.
“Pro-tip,” Lisa said, “Make sure to have the new diaper ready to go before you open up the old one.”
“Good point,” Mindy said while bringing up the diaper between a still crying Steve’s legs. “Where’d you learn that?” She taped one side up while he continued to bawl.
“Jimmy’s given me lots of practice,” Lisa said. Jim and Dale were sure that she winked at Mindy.
“Oh yeah,” Mindy giggled, taping up Steve’s mammoth Huggies. “I guess you have, haven’t you?”
“Kinda weird that those almost newborn diapers inflate to be big enough to fit Steve, isn’t it?” Jim mused. “I mean, our diapers are probably smaller than his.” Jim shuddered once he realized that he had referred to the infantile underwear wrapped over their loins as “our diapers”.
“Dude!” Dale said. “That’s it! The diapers!”
“What about them?” Jim asked.
“Steve bought Size 1, I bought Size 3, and you bought Size 5.” Dale explained. “And that’s what we’re all wearing, and that’s how we’re being treated. That can’t be a coincidence!
“Yeah, but why?” Jim wondered. “Did we buy magic diapers or something?”
Mindy quickly redressed Steve, whose bawling had started to subside to whimpers now that he had a clean diaper on. Then, without missing a beat, she began to wrap the blanket around him, first binding his legs, and then his arms. Steve was being swaddled. His eyelids were drooping and he was already snoring lightly by the time he was completely wrapped.
“Mind if I put him down in Jimmy’s crib?” Mindy asked Lisa.
“Oh go right ahead,” Lisa waved off Mindy’s question.
“Man,” Jim muttered after watching their best friend be swaddled and carried away to be put down for a nap. “Steve’s done.”
“So are we if we don’t get out of here,” Dale shuddered.
“Whoooooo’s next?” Heather playfully asked as she walked up to the mesh prison. “Dale is!” She opened the side and held out her arms to Dale. “Come to Momma!” Dale was never one to say no to his wife; he couldn’t resist. Hand over hand, knees scraping against the play mat, Dale crawled to Heather.
“Heather,” Dale pleaded. “It’s me, Dale. Your husband.”
“That’s right,” Heather agreed with all the enthusiasm reserved for a small child. “You are my special boy. Now show all these nice people how you can walk.” She held out her hands to him.
Slowly, Dale reached out to his wife and pulled himself up by the hands. Then with unsteady steps, guided by his wife, Dale stepped forward. Heather took a step back. Dale stepped forward. Heather stepped back. Her steps looked easy and without effort. Dale appeared to be using a great deal of concentration as wobbly legs and locked knees propelled him shakily forward.
“Jim!” Dale screeched. “Jim! I’m walking! I’m walking!” Dale sounded as though it were some kind of miracles.
“Dude,” Jim called back. “You were walking this morning! And,” he added “you weren’t wearing wet diaper, either.” Dale frowned at that.
“Oh man,” Dale said, the blood rushing to his face. “You’re right. I was just so excited that I was-”
“Such a good little walker,” Heather interrupted Dale, “let’s go over to the couch and you can sit in Momma’s lap.”
“Hey!” Jim called out from the playpen. “We’re talking here, Heather!” Either ignoring him or not understanding him, Heather continued to lead Dale over to the couch where a spot was cleared for her and she pulled her husband into her lap.
“Oops,” Heather looked down at Dale’s diaper. “Someone’s a little wet.” She gave it a gentle pat as if to confirm.
“Better go change him, Heather,” one of their friends suggested. “I read somewhere that if they get too comfortable sitting in a wet diaper they get harder to potty train.”
“Oh, I’m not worried about potty training,” Heather giggled. “Dale’s got a long ways to go before that happens.”
“It’ll happen sooner than you think,” the friend replied. Heather only giggled more at that and bounced Dale, squishy Huggies and all, on her knee.
“Shhhh,” Lisa walked up the playpen. “I know you’re excited with all of your little friends, Jimmy, but Stevie just got put down for a nap and he needs his sleep. So we need to be quiet.”
“Lisa, baby,” Jim begged. “I don’t know what’s going on, but this isn’t right. Let me out, please.”
“Sounds like someone is getting restless for his presents,” Mindy said as she walked back in the room.
“How is he?” Lisa cocked and eyebrow.
“Sleeping like an angel,” Mindy confirmed.
“Would you like to come out of the playpen and get some presents?” Lisa asked Jim through the mesh wall that Jim for some reason could not traverse. When phrased as the option between being left alone in the playpen, and being let out, Jim was inclined to go with the latter option. Biting his tongue, Jim nodded.
“Okie dokie,” Lisa smiled. “Let’s get my birthday boy some presents.” Now it was Jim’s turn to be lifted into the air and miraculously hoisted up onto his wife’s hip. As they walked to their own seat on the couch, Jim felt Lisa give his padded rump a firm patting as if checking for something. Then he watched her mouth cock to the side the way it always did when she was annoyed or frustrated.
“I didn’t know what to get Dale for a Christening,” a strange lady gave a relatively small, giftwrapped present to Heather. “I hope it’s okay.”
“Thank you very much,” Heather smiled politely and then put it in Dale’s naked lap. “Go on, Dale,” Heather whispered. “Open it. It’s yours.”
Dale looked to Jim. Seeing no other option, Jim nodded. It took about half a minute longer than it should have. Dale’s hands felt much clumsier than usual, as if only his fingers were drunk, but Dale finally managed to get it open.
It was a book, or more accurately, it was shaped like a book. It was an electronic music box that had several thick and rigid plastic pages on top, so that it resembled a book. The writing, or title Dale supposed, was “Storybook Rhymes.”
“Oh, it’s perfect,” Heather clapped her hands. “Go on, Dale,” she said to her baby husband. “Open it.”
Dale opened the plastic book and in an annoyingly high pitched, sing-song voice, “I Went to the Animal Fair,” blared out of the fake book’s tiny speakers.
“I went to the Animal Fair
The Birds and the Beasts were there
The old baboon by the light of the Moon
Was combing his auburn hair!”
Dale turned another page, and “The Itsy-Bitsy Spider” played. Then when he turned the page back, “I Went to the Animal Fair” started playing again, only to cut itself off as Dale started to lift and set down the page experimentally.
“I went to the-
I went to the-
I went to the-
I went to –
The Itsy-Bitsy Spider crawled up the-
I went to the Animal Fair.”
“Hey Jim, look!” Dale looked up from his new toy, “Remix!” Heather giggled at her baby husband’s cleverness. The others laughed and clapped, happy that the baby was entertained by the simple little toy. Both Mindy and Lisa nodded approvingly at Heather. It was only the shock on Jim’s face that snapped Dale out of his excitement.
“Oh shit…” Dale gasped as the toy dropped from his fingers and onto the floor.
“Let’s give Jim a present,” Lisa suggested, bouncing Jim on her hip.
“Here you go, big boy” the work friend who had suggested that Dale’s diaper be changed post haste to promote potty training presented Jim a box. “This is for you.”
A box was pushed in front of Jim, and it was big, too, at least compared to the baby music box book that Dale had opened.
“Go on honey,” Lisa said, lowering Jim to the floor. “Open it.”
Much like Dale, Jim’s fingers were clumsy and really only good for opening and closing. It took a bit, but Jim managed to rip off most of the paper by himself. The sound of the ripping paper masking the crinkle that came with every step he took.
It was a child’s potty, like the kind that a two or three year old- the kind of kid that everyone seemed to think Jim was- would use during potty training. Jim frowned at the gift. He reached into the box and pulled it up to his chest, hoping that maybe the thing would engorge in his hands in the same way that Steve’s tiny Size 1 diapers seemed to grow to fit him. No such luck.
The thing might have been the right size for a proper toddler, but if Jim sat on it, he estimated, his knees would be up to his chest and his dick would be scraping the bottom. The giant pair of Huggies he was wearing wouldn’t even fit into the bowl all the way. He literally had more room and privacy to relieve himself in his pants than in this tiny little thing.
And furthermore, he thought what kind of person gave a two year old a potty on their birthday? That was like giving his Mommy…Lisa…it was like giving Lisa a vacuum cleaner for Mother’s Day. Jim felt a pang of jealousy. It was only after he felt it did he realize that maybe it wasn’t good to be jealous that your friend got a baby toy and you got a pot to piss in. Really, the problem was that they shouldn’t be in this situation to begin with.
“For potty training,” the work friend said. “He’s two, so it’s about time.”
Mindy was snickering about something and whispered to Heather, who snickered back.
“Oh, you shouldn’t have,” Lisa smiled insincerely. “This is very nice, but I don’t think Jim’s quite ready yet. Thank you, though.”
“Oh, well,” the lady friend shrugged. “He can use it when he’s ready.”
There was a bit of an awkward silence. Then Lisa brightened up and announced, “Let’s get the boys some cake!” Everyone seemed excited by that.
Once again, Jim and Dale, both full grown men as far as they could tell, were manhandled and transported into the kitchen. A surprisingly large highchair and an adult sized booster seat awaited Dale and Jim respectively.
Before the tray was clicked in place, Mindy and Heather yanked the shirt off of Dale’s chest, leaving him only in his wet diaper. Dale himself wasn’t completely sure, but he had the sinking feeling that the blue line on his crotch had suddenly spread a little more.
“Here you go, honey,” Heather said playfully. “Eat your cake. Make it all gone.”
Lisa lovingly, and expertly tied a bib around Jim’s neck. “Try not to make a mess, big boy,” she told Jim, before putting a plastic fork in his hand. Each of them had a piece of cake slid in front of them.
Jim and Dale looked down at the cake in front of them. Dale looked at the cake with temptation. Jim with disgust. There was no way he was going to give in to this. Dale was another story.
“Dude,” Jim said, looking at his friend. “Don’t.”
“But…” Dale said, his lip trembling. “It’s cake. It’s chocolate cake.”
“That’s what they want you to do.” Jim warned.
“Yeah, I know that’s what my mommy wants. She told me,” Dale sighed, sounding defeated.
“Dale,” Jim gasped. “Heather isn’t your mommy. She’s your wife.”
“Can’t she be both?” Dale asked, a mixture of denial and hope hidden in his tone.
“No.” Jim said flatly.
“Dude,” Dale said. “I’m already naked. I’m in a highchair. I’m wearing a wet diaper from a pack that I bought this morning, and if I’m being honest, it’s actually kind of comfy, even if it is wet.” Dale blushed at the admission. “Like, I might not know or care if it wasn’t for the wetness indicator.”
“Nobody but you and me knows or cares that I’m not a baby and that Heather’s not my Mommy,” Dale went on. “The only way I’m getting out of this diaper is if Heather- I mean, my Mommy,” a single tear rolled down Dale’s cheek at the correction, “changes me into a new one. I might as well eat cake while I’m at it.”
Dale took one hand and made a ham handed fist, crushing the cake between his fingers. Then, without breaking eye contact, he shoved a fistful of the stuff into his mouth, smearing it all over his hands and lips and face. Then, still chewing, Dale went for another and ate it in much the same way. Then another. Then another.
“Look at him go,” came the cooing cat calls. “Loves that cake!”
Jim watched in a combination of disgust and horror. His friend had given up and accepted this bizarre reality that saw them all as toddlers and younger. And the final straw had been a toy and some cake of all things. At least Steve lost himself to his wife’s titties, Jim could sympathize with that.
Soon enough, Dale had demolished the cake and even gone so far as to wipe the frosting and crumbs on his bare chest.
“Uh oh,” Heather chuckled. “Looks like Dale got more cake on him than in him. I’m glad you enjoyed it sweetie.” She pinched Dale’s cheek and Dale giggled sheepishly, throwing his frosting covered hands over his face. “Such a cutie! Yes he is! Yes he is! He’s Momma’s little cutie!”
Jim was entranced by this exchange, as if he were witnessing a car wreck.
Was Dale getting an erection?
“Any chance I can put Dale in the tub, Lisa?” Heather asked. “I think it’ll be a lot easier to clean him up, that way.”
“Of course,” Lisa said. “Go take care of what you need.”
Heather walked back to the living room briefly to grab a Huggies, Size 3 from the pack that was laying in the living room with the rest of the presents. Jim watched again as the diaper ballooned from “Huggies, Size 3” to “Huggies Size Dale” as she walked back into the kitchen and removed the Dale’s highchair tray.
Jim sat in the booster seat at the kitchen table, staring sullenly at the untouched piece of chocolate cake as Dale was carried away on his Mommy wife’s hip to be bathed and changed into a fresh diaper.
“What’s the matter, Jimmy?” Lisa asked. “Don’t you want some birthday cake?” Jim shook his head.
“Oh come on, baby boy,” Lisa cooed, “Just take a little bite. You’ll love it. I promise.” Again, Jim shook his head.
“Pleeeeease,” Lisa asked. Jim remained stone faced.
“You’re a little old for this,” Lisa said, snatching the fork away from Jim, “but let’s see if you still like this game.” She dug in with the cake and brought a piece of it up to Jim’s lips. “Here comes the choo-choo train! Chugga-chugga-chugga-”
“Get that away from me!” Jim slapped the fork out of Lisa’s hand.
“Terrible twos,” Jim heard go around the room in not-so-hushed laughter and whispers.
“Okay,” Lisa said, unbuckling Jim from his booster seat. “If the birthday boy doesn’t want cake, he doesn’t have to eat cake. Let’s go
“No!” Jim said defiantly. “This is way too messed up, Lisa. I’m an adult. I’m not a baby! I don’t need diapers. I don’t need cribs! I definitely don’t need this birthday party.”
“Oh honey,” Lisa smiled. “I know you think you’re a big boy, but don’t be in such a rush to grow up. You’ll always be my baby.”
Jim’s face was hot with anger.
“I am not a baby!” he stomped. “I’m not! Stevie isn’t a baby! He’s an adult! Dale’s not a baby! He’s a grown-up! And I’m definitely not a baby! I’m a big…” Jimmy stopped and grabbed at his tummy. “I’m a big…” something was bothering him, but he couldn’t quite articulate. He was looking at Lisa, but and was ready to scream, but then he just sort of stared off into the middle distance. His mind was furious but his body needed to take care of something, so he did what came naturally. “I’m a big…” Jimmy went quiet until the need had passed.
“….boy.” He finished. The women were giggling. Why were they giggling? What had he done?
Lisa walked around Jim, and peered down the back of his pants again. He shuddered a little bit when she reached around him from behind and gave the front of his diaper a little squeeze for good measure. Jim didn’t hear the crinkle this time as much as he felt the muted squishing all around him.
“Yup,” Lisa smiled as she walked back around. It was a contented smile; a satisfied smile. Not typically the expression of a mother who just found out her toddler needed a fresh diaper. “Finally,” she whispered. “It’s done.”
“So much for potty training,” Mindy laughed. “Not today. Not today.”
“Come on, big boy,” Lisa smirked. “Let’s go change your diaper.” Jimmy took Lisa’s hand and together they walked, Lisa smoothly, Jimmy, waddling and bowlegged the entire way, flinching with every step towards the nursery where he had woken up in diapers earlier today.
“Shhhhh,” Lisa hushed Jimmy as they went inside. “Let’s not wake Stevie. He’s napping in your crib.”
Jimmy nodded, feeling a knot in his throat. He didn’t want Stevie to see him like this. He’d have to be good and quiet while Mommy…while Lisa changed his diaper for him. There was no way he’d have the will to do it himself.
He flinched as Lisa pulled his pants down to his ankles and then picked him up and positioned him on the concave changing mat on top of his dresser. So much was coming back to him now, as if he had always been two
“The hell is going on?” Jimmy asked himself while looked up at the ceiling.
“I’m changing your diaper, sweetie” Lisa answered as she undid the tapes on his Huggies, Size 5, and pulled down the front. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.” Jimmy flinched as his legs went towards the ceiling and Lisa began wiping him down.
“Used to it?” Jimmy asked, his voice still a whisper.
“Soon it’ll be like you were never potty trained at all.” Lisa confirmed sliding the used diaper out from under Jimmy. She balled it up and threw it away, before reaching under the changing table and producing a new Huggies, Size 5, complete with a portrait of Mickey and Minnie Mouse on the front and a big smiling Mickey- now solo- on the back.
With a flick of her wrist, she unfolded the diaper before it magnified itself to fit Jim’s decidedly adult frame and slid it under him.
“Never potty trained?” Jimmy asked. Why was Mommy talking like this? It was like she knew. She knew!
“You can understand me?!” Jimmy asked, confused why his wife would be diapering him if she knew and recognized that he was a full grown adult.
“Yes, baby,” Mommy said dipping her fingers into a small jar of white goo. “Now hold still.”
Jimmy couldn’t help but as Mommy began to smear and knead diaper cream into his bum and private parts. Mommy gave him a look telling him to be quiet lest he wake Stevie in the crib and Jim moaned into his thumb while Mommy finished her work and reached for the baby powder.
“You’re still my baby, but I can make diaper changes very fun for you.” Mommy whispered. Jimmy’s pee-pee felt funny and began to swell while Mommy rubbed in the baby powder.
Jim shook the cobwebs out of his head as Lisa began to pull the front of the diaper up and secure it around his waist.
“How are you doing this?” he asked her.
“That’s not important for babies to know,” Lisa said sweetly. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Then why?” Jim asked, on the verge of whining.
“Well,” Lisa seemed to think for a moment, choosing her wording carefully. “I love you,” she whispered. “Just not as a lover. Same for the other girls.”
“While you’ve been hanging out with your little friends,” Lisa said, “we’ve been talking. We all married you because we were attracted to your boyish charms, despite…or maybe because of how immature you all were with your ‘dudes’ and ‘bros’ and drinking and late nights. But we thought you’d grow out of it. You didn’t. We thought we could change you. We couldn’t.” She chuckled darkly at that. “But we all realized we liked taking care of you. We liked being needed.”
“But now,” her tone brightened, “we can change you. We get to take care of you. We get to love you. And you don’t have to ever really grow up! Everybody wins.”
“But…but…but…” Jim meekly argued from his spot on the changing pad.
“No ‘buts’, baby boy. This is for the best,” Lisa said. “You’ll see.”
“You bitch…” the words came right out of Jim’s mouth without thinking. It was the last part of his adult-self, his raging angry manhood attempting to assert itself. How dare she do this to them? How dare she?!
In the blink of an eye Jimmy found himself across his Mommy’s knee, pants still around his ankles, being spanked like there was no tomorrow. Jimmy’s wailing woke Stevie from his nap and Stevie’s whining mewls blended with Jimmy’s cries of pain. Mindy ran in to see what was going on. She gave Jimmy just a passing glance before picking up Stevie and shushing him before starting to change his diaper, now wet again.
Heather came in with a freshly cleaned Dale from the bathroom. He was naked save for the clean diaper he’d been put in and the fluffy white bath towel wrapped around.
“He got fresh?” Heather asked.
“Oh yeah,” Lisa said in between spanks.
“Should have gone younger,” Mindy said in the midst of wiping Stevie.
“No, Jim was most like a two year old to begin with.” Lisa said. “This was more appropriate.”
“Fair enough,” Heather conceded. She turned her attention to Dale, “Just don’t pick up any bad habits from Jimmy, okay honey?” Dale nodded goofily.
Meanwhile, crying, whining, snot bubbling out of his nose, Jimmy didn’t know how this had happened to him but he did know the truth: That just like his friends, he was a baby. He might have been a big one, but he was still a baby. And he’d be a baby for as long as Mommy said so and that was that. Only now, he promised himself, he was going to be a good baby.
“Oh, I like Stevie this way,” she said, now that her baby husband was changed and had once again latched onto a breast. “You have no ideas how close I feel to him right now.”
“I’m quite happy with my little snuggle bug,” Heather petted Dale.
“Girls,” Lisa said, ending the spanking and pulling up Jimmy’s pants. She pulled him up to a sitting position and gave her baby husband a kiss on the cheek. “We all win. After all, this isn’t a competition.”