It All Started With a Peek

It All Started With a Peek

Part 1:

First semester of senior year was finally complete. We just took our finals last Thursday and we had Friday off, celebrating the half-way point of this long trek with a long weekend. My schedule was as follows: No first period, Economics, Humans and Societies, AP French, AP Calculus and Concert Band respectively. Most of my classes were fairly easy so I was hoping to cruise my way to graduation.

I had spent my weekend like an absolute bum. Did I even get out of the house other than to throw the garbage or check the mail? Apparently not. At least I had fun playing video games with my friends.

I looked at my clock. It read 10:30 PM.

yawnnn “I should probably go to sleep now” I said to myself. I quickly went to use the restroom, brushed my head and headed back into my room.

"Beep, beep, beep…" my alarm clock rang. 

I reached for my alarm clock but moved my body too far off the edge of the bed and fell off, toe and cheek first. 

"MOTHER &*^%$@!" I yelled. Hot damn that hurt. I got up slowly, got dressed and limped my way towards the restroom. 

After finishing my usual morning restroom routine, I looked at myself in the mirror to see how I looked. I'm eighteen, and fairly short, only 5' 3" but I've never really cared about how tall I am. My black hair is slightly thicker than a buzz-cut, and my skin is dark due to both my race and Marching Band. I'm from the Middle East, but many have mistaken me for a Mexican. Back to my outfit though. I decided to wear a plain white shirt and colorful red jeans. I always try to dress relatively well not only to impress the ladies but because my mother ingrained that value into my brain. I don't try and always have the newest and best clothes, but I like to wear good clothes when in the presence of others.

The clock struck 7:30 after I finally finished eating my favorite breakfast, Cocoa Puffs with milk, and now that I was ready to go, I called my friend Ronald. Andromeda High School is a really large school and it is home to one of the largest marching bands in the state. Ronald and I were in the same section and we quickly became really good friends. We only live a little more than a mile away from the school, so we walk to school together whenever possible. I met him outside my gate two minutes later and we were on our way. 

Even though I tease Ronald by telling him that he looks like a Probopass. Ok, maybe it is just the nose. Anyways, he has curly hair, a large nose, white-ish skin and some freckles. He's only slightly taller than me, but he boasts about it more times than I can bear listening to. The walk to school was short; we didn't talk about anything notable. As I said goodbye, I thought that today was going to be just another regular day at school. Boy was I wrong.

Part 2:

It all started with my third period, Humans and Societies, class. Our teacher, Mrs. Von, was rambling about George Orwell's 1984. The class was nearing its end when all of a sudden, the bell started to ring. The monotonous chime lasted for around 2 minutes which signaled that the school was under a lockdown. Mrs. Von quietly told us to gather to the right side of the room, away from the two small door windows while she locked the two doors and taped strips of paper to the windows. 
I'd brought my trusty red Bicycle playing cards from my backpack hoping to get some games of Egyptian War with other people. I decided to play with this one cute Asian chick named Luna. 

Now a little bit about Luna. I've had English with her for the past 3 years and I think it would suffice to say that I have a bit of a crush on her. Today she was wearing a plaid dress with navy blue and dark green as the two colors. She also tends to wear black jeans which outline her tush very nicely. She puts her black, straight hair into a pony tail which goes down slightly past her neck. As far as I can tell she has a petite frame, and she is very quiet and soft-spoken. The few times that I've dared to talk to her, she's always been extremely kind, so along with her nice looks, she's got a personality to boot too!

She was sitting around a foot in front of the teacher's desk, cross-legged and leaning forward so that she could slap the cards as quickly as possible. I was taking bites of food between games and once I had finished, I asked her to throw the garbage away for me, as she was very close to the trash can. She was too lazy to get up or move in the slightest, so she bent backwards and wrapped her right arm around the corner of the desk so that she could throw away the trash for me (so nice ). While she was doing that I was bending down so that I could pick up the cards and put the stack underneath my deck. Her knees and dress were just high enough so that I could see her lingerie underneath. To my surprise, I saw a wet, thin, disposable diaper.

Even though I was in shock, I was able to think quickly enough so that I didn't get caught in the act. My reaction was to cough a couple of times so that I had a reason for bending down that far in the first place. After that I quickly scooped up the cards and continued playing although my mind wasn't in the game anymore, but it was rather on what I just saw. Finally someone who was an ABDL kind of like me.

When I was in fourth grade, my friend Tom told me that he saw this girl wearing a wet, disposable diaper underneath her skirt. I knew of this girl, but that didn't really matter. He planted a seed and I would remember that one moment which inevitably lead to me becoming an ABDL. I don't really know if I'm a true diaper lover considering that I don't wear diapers and don't have the intention of ever wearing them. However, imagining a girl of my age in a diaper is the best sexual image that I can possibly imagine and I would love to be a daddy and care for my "baby" girl. 

The rest of the school day was shortened because of the lock down. The students were sent to a nearby park where their parents would pick them up. I decided to walk home with Ronald instead but I didn't say anything during the walk home. All I could think of was Luna. 

Post Writing: First time writing a story ever… I know this is really short, but writing this felt really awkward; it all felt forced. ??? Any critiques are welcome, just try not to be too harsh.

Re: It All Started With a Peek

I think its good. Abit short, but good! You should continue the story. :smiley:

Re: It All Started With a Peek

I think this story has some potential. Your description of the protagonist is a little cliche in the way that the physical traits are all basically listed, but still has a unique view from your writing style. Your writing style I think is what stands out most in the story. It’s not perfect, but I do like the way it’s told from the first person perspective of the protagonist. His attitude and personality really come out in the writing I think. A few details could be improved though. For instance, what’s the setting here? We’ve picked up that it takes place in a high school, but what country, or state? Is it a city or a suburb? A personal gripe I have, not so much a writing proficiency critique, is that the main character seems to be a little bit of a creep, peeping up girls’ skirts and all that.

Sorry to give you the harsh criticism, but don’t give up! I think if you give us a little more insight to the characters and don’t dive straight into the abdl content, this story has the chance to become something great. Good job for your first story!