Inspirations and influences

General
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I was having a discussion with Whetoric a little while ago when he referred to ADA (“Ashley’s Diaper Adventures” for those of you, like me, who’s not familiar with the abbreviation). The main point of the argument was that this story was one of the early influences for many here. In my case, I wouldn’t say this since I’m old enough that my first stories (which are awful and will not, I repeat NOT, be posted here) were written in the late eighties, before this story. In fact, it was before I even had internet access.

Anyway, according to Whetoric, there is a sort of divide between those who were inspired by ADA and those who approach ABDL from a more traditional BDSM or fetish angle. One aspect being the role sex plays in the story (Is it something that is part of the main focus or more of a secondary thing?) Another, the way the person who wears the diapers in the story thinks about them. (Is it something he/she has longed for, a sort of second childhood?)

In addition, I suppose it might be helpful to consider the abbreviation ABDL as a spectrum rather than a binary, either/or thing. Some people may gravitate heavily towards the AB side of the scale, while others (myself included) tend more towards the DL side. Some people want the onesies and pacifiers while others just want the diapers. I’m not saying one is right and the other is wrong or that one is better than the other. That’s a matter of taste.

Enough rambling. My point is that this led me to think about what actually influenced and inspired me, and also what may have inspired others. Was there something in particular that led to your interest or was it something that was always there, hiding in the back of your mind?

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Re: Inspirations and influences

For me, the interest was always there, and not always hiding, though I did actively try to suppress it for quite a long time, fearing it was some precursor to pedophilia…

The sexual component for me is the power/humiliation aspect. The “AB” component is rooted in the same place, though for different reasons. Caring for my babygirl in that way is a deep, powerful, soul-to-soul connection, while insisting she as a grown woman wear diapers and dress like “a proper little girl”, particularly in public, is powerful sexual mojo. Even the subtleties of going to a Goodwill, finding what is essentially a toddler-style dress in a girls’ plus size (16-1/2, which is ample enough to fit her with room to spare), and waving it in front of her while she cringes is a heck of a thrill.

As to writing influences? Well, a great deal of my stories are cathartic in nature, getting weird and inappropriate fantasies out of my head and onto the page. I’ve never read ADA, nor have I explored the rest of what is considered “canonical” ABDL fiction around here. I’ve read some spectacular ABDL stories in my time, and they always challenged me to elevate my own craft, but largely what you see from me is just coming from my own head.

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Re: Inspirations and influences

I didn’t read Ashley’s Diaper Adventures until last year, but I’m probably more on that side of things. Like WBDaddy, to some extent I’ve always had this feeling toward diapers. Maybe it comes from a lot of places; my grandmother ran a day care out of her house, my big brother was a bed wetter but he was always so much bigger and stronger than me that diapers didn’t have a stigma (after all, how can they only be for babies if my big brother can beat me up any time he pleases?), or it could be that once my little sister was born, I lost position of my mom’s favorite to the baby. Maybe it’s all, compounding on top of the other? I discovered TG fiction first and gravitated to realistic stories about girls my age (high school at the time) and gradually went down, trying to construct some idea about what a girlhood would be if I had been born the way I felt I should have. When I reached a TG/ABDL story, something clicked for me. That, on top of everything else, did it for me. I use ABDL writing to explore a road not taken for me.

As for influences. It’s hard to say which writers influenced me the most. I like to think that we cobble together something organic and new around the fragments we pick up from others. So, if I had to ramble off a list of writers I first copied and then assimilated to a greater or lesser extent: Rowling, Stephen King, Wilde, Dostoyevsky, Vonnegut and in my more mainstream sci-fi/fantasy stuff I’m really starting to see some influence by GRRM (namely towards sprawling casts I’m in no way ready to manage yet).

As for ABDL, as I’ve said before and not to be a kissup, but WBDaddy’s first draft of Panda’s Ashes was the first thing I was introduced to that really hooked me, not just in the moment but made me think about it after I closed the window. Because it wasn’t just wank work, it showed how to explore character and motivation in our genre. Simply, it placed more focus on what was going on in our protags head, and how she interacted with herself and others, and grew and changed as a person than on the state of her diaper. It may have been the first literary ABDL work I read. Dante’s Infanezia is another, because it’s a real story. It uses ABDL tropes to tell an actual story about two people resisting an oppressive, crapsaccharine system. It’s the ABDL Brazil, complete with a power of love ending that, in this case, works.

So yeah, that went on a bit, but hey, I love writing and love to talk about it.

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Re: Inspirations and influences

I’ve long had opinions on the divide but it’s hard to explain. I understand people not wanting to think it’s binary but, although the spectrum may be true, once you pass a certain mark on the spectrum it makes people on the other side uncomfortable to engage in play.

For example, numerous littles want nothing to do with sex while engaged in “little” mode. They get so deep into it, it would be like child molestation to them. Others find practicing in age play erotic because they are “playing” instead of “being.” This is a binary. Either there is a sexual aspect to your age play or there is not and if both players are not on the same side of this line, the play will be very frustrating for one of them.

Humiliation is another big deal. For instance, I find humiliation erotic only when I know it will not actually result in social stigma (again, “playing” not “being”). Thus, stories in which someone is actually humiliated are not unenjoyable but I do not enjoy the humiliation specifically, in the same way I like a murder mystery but don’t actually enjoy the murdering. Stories in which a person controls their own humiliation or has a genuinely kid DOM, I can find the humiliation exciting (closed environment, voluntary, etc). I guess, the building of worry about being humiliated in the character’s head is good, the actual fruition of such humiliation is bad, for my tastes.

So, sex, humiliation/control are the great divides in ABDL play. Some people want sex and domination, others just want to be kids. Kids (or an adult who is really able to immerse themselves in a child-like mind) are scared of sex and domination so the two do not mix. For instance, there’s an AB group in my area that holds play parties in a dungeon. How could anyone be little and not be scared shitless of torture tools hanging around the room? It’s because of either desperation, (the little is so lonely he/she would rather play in a scary place than be lonely) or because they’re playing at being little, not really being little.

I suppose there is a third possibility but it disturbs me more. Children that have undergone trauma (sexual abuse and the like) will attempt to engage in those behavior to make sense of what happened to them. I suppose adults that were abused as children could simultaneously reenter their childhood and yet want to engage in sex and domination because they have been unable to work through their abuse.

Now, having proposed that third possibility, I’m going to go to crazy town and guess at how each interest occurred.

1st Category: People who are both fully “littles” and want to engage in sex. (probably sexual abuse victims)
2nd Category: People who are fully little and do not want sex (possibly non-sexual abuse, neglect, or just felt their childhood unfairly lacked something)
3rd Category: People who play at being little and want to engage in sex because they have had very enjoyable sexual interactions with those in either the 1st Category or someone who was already initiated into the 3rd Category (who, down the line, probably started with someone from the 1st Category).

Now, of course, this assumes the age-play consists of a little having a sexual interest unrealistic to the played age. If someone is playing “little” but is playing post-pubescent (high school girl, etc) of course sexual play is normal (even if socially weird). Also, I’m not condemning any of it; these issues have to be dealt with in some way and exhibiting them among consenting adults is a healthy way of dealing with it. Still, it helps to understand where our psychological issues probably stem from. Also, it is entirely possible to be both AB -and- DL. Which is to say, sometimes a person wants to be little, other times they want to wear diapers and fuck. The issue is whether they want to be little whilst fucking.

And, to reattach to the topic, I believe the stories portrayed on here depend on which aspect the author falls into. ADA seems to have spawned from the 2nd Category, whereas most fiction seems to spawn from the 3rd category. This makes sense of course; adults have much more interest in sex than being a child again so it’s very rare a person is interested in the lifestyle of the 2nd Category unless their childhood made them that way whereas the persons in the 1st Category have something kinky to share with otherwise normal adults.

I’m not saying I’m right about any of this, I just like musing.

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Re: Inspirations and influences

My childhood was as close to perfect as one can get without being rich. My DL interests go back to then I was 3 or 4 and once imagined being stripped and left in my pull-ups by a school bully (I cannot remember my thoughts leading up to the fantasy). I’m all for the humiliation angle. I suppose the stigma of diapers plays a role but I’ve long held an interest in female desperation, of which the accident itself is the true humiliation. But I’ve loved the buildup, begging, suffering, fear, it all adds up.

I can’t remember which stories I was first exposed to, it took a while before I turned to the internet. When I was 11 I had a completely unrelated dream that led to me fantasizing about desperation for the first time in years, and that led to diapering. I tried to suppress the urges for months but I failed and had to accept it.

My attempts to find anything on the internet was slow. First I would only search for vague and indirect terms, out of fear of what I do not know. As I got braver I started to find things, first it was mostly Deeker stories but I did not get very far into the boy-centered stories and moved on. I think I found the daily diapers site or Fox Tales Times next but I don’t know for sure.

As for ADA I’ve never found a complete version of it and I’ve never been able to read past the first paragraph, it never grabbed me and I can’t remember why.

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Re: Inspirations and influences

My favorite stories all came from Foxtalestimes, mainly because it was the first place I stumbled upon that had AB stories that didn’t center around sex or humiliation. I was always most galvanized by consensual regression. I’ll go for teasing my humiliation just makes me angry.

I think it is an interesting discussion to attempt to categorize influences by age or interest, but I personally it is difficult to the point of impossiblity.

This fetish has a relatively narrow realm for its expression, that is to say, not many places on line or in the real world to practice or discuss AB/DL. That being said, the breadth of that expression of the fetish has such a wide range and spectrum its defies classification.

And finally the classification assumes that a persons sexuality is static. I’m relatively young, only in my twenties, but even in this short time the things I find interesting and sexy in the fetish have grown and changed radically.

Interesting points are made though. Hope it doesn’t sound like I’m trying to shut the conversation down. I suppose you could consider me the Devils advocate.

Guilelessly,
TDAD22

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Re: Inspirations and influences

To the first point, categorization is always incorrect if taken to the extreme. Everyone is, in a non-interesting and uselessly specific sense, a special snowflake. The point is whether the facets my categories exclude are pertinent in any discussion on the subject. If so, my categories are bad categories but that does not mean that categorization is impossible. I dislike The community’s tendency and throw up it’s hands and say we’re impossible to pigeon hole, rather than finding useful holes. At least we manage to acknowledge the difference between AB and DL. That’s really a spectrum to, frankly.

To the second point, classifications do not assume members are static, they simply describe a person’s current state. A person can always shift to another category or be in both.

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Re: Inspirations and influences

Wait… I’m not the only special person.

This changes everything….

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Re: Inspirations and influences

oh lord…. Im actually one of the few people that can say that I’ve never read ADA nor do I approach ABDL as a fetish. To me it’s a lifestyle that is unique in an insurmmountable way. You dont just say that you are gonna be an ABDL one day and not be one the next. It doesnt work like that. As far as Inspirations go, for me it was my cousins back when I was 5 who were 7 and they were treated like 2 yr olds. One day my I was at my Aunt’s house and I got a little curious as to what my Aunt did to my cousins. So one day I asked my aunt about it and she was shocked to figure out that I knew what I did at that point. At first glance someone may say “aww I feel bad for those two having to wear diapers” but when they dig deeper they’ll realize that their mother started it up. The next day my mother was supposed to pick me up but there was a Snowstorm the previous night so I had to stay the night with my aunt again. My Aunt then asked me if I wanted to be like my cousins for the day and I gave her the old WTF look. She then proceeded to say that it may help me understand my cousins a bit better. Then this is where I give in to her and she grabs some things out of the girls room. This is also where I found out I was TG. My Aunt proceeds to take me into her room and dress me head to toe in Toddler clothes for girls(I was the size of a 3 year old at the time) I was fine with it up until it was time to put the dress on. I got scared when I saw the dress and hid in my Aunts closet. She then proceeded to call me Lilly.
I could make a whole story out of that but basically it was my cousins who sparked my ABDL and TG sides

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