Insert Awkward Moment here.

They are neither fully embarrassing, angry or funny moments; yet merely another spice added to life to keep us on our toes. They are Awkward Moments, and unless you’re The Most Interesting Man In The World you’ve had a few!

Participation is voluntary. ;D

So today my assistant manager who is a flirty person and who I now intensly dislike comes up to me after a particularly difficult day, hugs me, and asks if we’re still friends. Um……how do you explain that you never WERE friends to begin with?

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After work today I went to the grocery store across the street from my store because I was seriously craving macaroni and cheese and as I was making a beeline toward my tasty destination I saw a familiar face. It was one of our more annoying customers who ALWAYS comes in with a bad attitude; against my better judgment I make eye contact with her and she stops right in front if me and, without preamble, asks me how much wiper blades for her Dodge van are. No “Hello”, no “Fancy meeting you here”, just work questions. I told her that I could find out tomorrow since we were closed for the night, as though it wasn’t obvious.

In her defense, I was still wearing my work shirt; and it was a valid question as it was and still is raining ferociously outside. Just um….save it for when I’m clocked in.

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Plus does she think you know off hand EVERY vehicles wiper blade size??
TOO many for that!!

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So today at work I get a phone call from one of our Commercial accounts, which, to be honest should have gone to the guys in the back but I have a feeling that I got this call for a reason. The person was calling for an account that I had hoped to NEVER hear from again and from what I had heard had been abandoned. Who was it? Only the sleaziest, most disreputable and unprofessional shop in my city! How do I know this? I worked for them.

Exactly three years ago I was in college and needed a place to work after school to make some money and get some real world experience. I was morally obligated to quit two months after starting because I strongly resisted most of their methods and practices. I know some people use drugs like weed and will make the claim that it doesn’t affect them adversely. I’d like to see the same argument made when you’re trying to wrestle a transmission out from under an 8000 lb truck that’s balanced on a lift over your head and you’re high as a kite. Oh and of course you’ve been drinking all day too! Okay so I was also worried about my own safety. I left and swore off ever ever working for a small shop that I hadn’t been the one to open.

Okay. Off topic, sorry. So anyways, this shop had been run by the owner and his wife, and the person on the phone today was the wife. She asked me about a fuel filter under their discount (I’m surprised they even still HAVE a discount since they screwed my company out of a lot of money in the past) and I gave her the price. It was CHEAP! She said that she would be up in half an hour. Well she gets there and she’s with a different guy now (apparently they divorced and he’s on the run from the IRS and a loan shark or two. I hope they catch him!) one of my other coworkers is helping her and as I walk by she stops talking as she recognizes me and just stares. The second time I walk by I stop and though she’s talking to my coworker she is staring at me. I stare right back. After it got too awkward I moved off to other errands. I really hope she errs on the side of good taste and uses another store from now on.

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So about halfway through today I got a most interesting pair of customers. Male and female. So the woman walks up to the counter where I am and places two spark plugs in front of me and says that she needs new plugs to match. Since its not an unusual request I quickly cross referenced them in the computer and told her both the price and that we had them in stock. What happened next however, WAS unusual. The guy who had come with her had stayed outside (to smoke maybe?), but he then opened the door wide enough to stick his head in and ask very loudly of his lady friend how much the plugs cost. There was no cigarette in his mouth or hand. She told him the prices that I had given her and he looked at me and asked for two of one kind and one of the other. Bear in mind that he is addressing me from 20 feet away while he is outside with nothing but his head sticking in the store. With nothing else to say I grab the new spark plugs off the shelf and as I’m walking back I look out the windows to see the guy wandering aimlessly through the parking lot. (Still not smoking). I ring up the parts and as I’m doing this he sticks his head back in to ask if the plugs were already gapped, I said no and he retreated yet again into the parking lot.
At this point the other customers have noticed the odd spectacle of this man who seems to be unwilling to enter the store but is perfectly happy to place his order from the door. I thought about asking the woman but the creeper-vibe she was giving off deterred me.

It wasn’t until they left that I remembered them from some earlier encounters (I wasn’t the one selling to them though). He would stand outside and point at stuff through the window while she would grab it and put it in a basket and then pay for it.

Its like he’s afraid to walk inside. I’d LOVE to see them at Walmart!

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Two of my co-workers know that I am ABDL, both of which I trust to know that as they’re pretty solid people to work with in the first place.

We’re allowed to play any movie or show we want on our DVD player as long as it’s G or PG rated and so most of us usually switch off going back and forth. She chose Arthur at one point, the kids show, and there were two back to back episodes that made things kind of awkward.

One was about moving from a crib to a bed and the other was about bedwetting and wearing a pullup.

I dunno why but it made things feel awkward, especially when she decided to criticize on of the lines from the show about how huge the girl was sitting inside a crib and how moving to a regular bed is the only way and I, for whatever reason, decided to chime in “Well they do make adult cribs and they aren’t much more expensive than regular beds….”

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Guy comes in, asks for adult movies, when I explain to him we’re a family friendly store, he responds with “Well thanks anyway sweetheart.”

It’s almost flattering that I pass enough as a woman that I can be sexually harassed like one.

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I’m almost hesitant to post this one since its INCREDIBLY awkward. But here goes. The other day I was at Academy with my best friend buying fishing hooks when I realized that I REALLY had to go to the bathroom. So I made my way clear across the store to the rest room and took care of business. As I walked out of the stall there was a little boy who couldn’t have been older than 10 years who looked at me with a question in his eyes. I didn’t expect the kid to know about Man Law at his age but despite knowing that what happened next still threw me for a loop or two. The kid looks at me and says “I can’t reach the soap”. The soap dispenser WAS a long reach for someone that small and it was also the motion sensor activated kind. Man Law dictates that men who don’t know each other don’t speak to one another in the bathroom. At that point I broke Law myself and said “Is your dad around? Maybe he can help you.” He then replied" I don’t have a dad." He said it matter-of-factly without any emotion at all. At this point another gentleman had emerged from a stall further down the row and we exchanged awkward glances that spoke volumes. It was clear from his look that he wasn’t going to help the kid but was content to wait to wash his hands after the kid. I myself was about to just walk out and forget about it but I decided that if this kid wanted to clean his hands so badly that he was willing to ask a complete stranger for help then I could at least reward his audacity. So then I said to him “Okay. I’ll lift you up to get the soap but the rest is up to you.” The other gentleman just looked on. The kid said “Okay”. So I then proceeded to pick up a strangers child in an Academy bathroom in front of another stranger so that the kid could facilitate proper hygiene. After he got the soap on his hands I set him down and quickly walked out and passed a woman waiting outside, presumably his mother. I then fast walked back to the fishing aisle where my friend was still waiting.

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My husband and I were getting ready to have a friend stay with us because he was in a bit of a bad situation. I packed all our baby stuff away in black boxes under our bed. One day while friends were visiting my husband decides to show an art piece to them which were also packed away in various places around the house (you can see where this is going) he brought out a box without checking first and revealed to all, our BABY stuff, OMG!!! :o he closed it quickly but it felt like and eternity. LUCKLY it wasn’t one filled with diapers, it was a miscellaneous box with a box of breakfast baby food, bibs, plates and bits and peices.

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So today one of my best friends and I were hanging out at his place. It was a fun time with TV, video games, food and a movie. While we were watching TV a commercial for Taboo came on. Y’all know what I’m talking about. Anywho, we started talking about the show and the conversation shifted to fetishes and I said that once upon a time I would have considered A LOT of “known” fetishes weird but now I’ve mellowed out and have an attitude of ambivalence to them. I pretty much said that if that’s what gets them off or makes them comfortable then I have no problem with them. (All within some semblance of reason of course.) Then my friend said something that sent me into a half second panic. He said “If you suck on a pacifier and wear a diaper then I’m gonna call you weird.” My response was “What?” He said “Its called a diaper fetish”. I then said “I know EXACTLY what it is.”

Him saying “You” was a general “you” and not actually pointed at me.

What I can’t figure out is how he picked that one particular fetish out of countless thousands or millions to say that about. It made me wonder if he knew something, but since I keep this stuff under wraps and the only ones I have ever told are y’all I quickly discarded that idea.

I then said to him “What if I did that? Would it change anything?” I didn’t tell him that I had spent the previous night dressed as such, and only changed shortly before coming over. His response was “You’re already weird so no.” I suppose its good to know that it wouldn’t change much between us but I have absolutely no plans to ever tell him.