Ellen Degeneres: So really now you’re officially the spokesperson of the nocturnal enuresis issue among teens. Basically, you’re the face of bed wetting!
Joanne: I guess I am, I mean… I like to consider my face as more than that.
The crowd laughs.
Ellen Degeneres: Obviously!
Joanne:But really it’s great to be the voice of such an important issue that was previously undocumented with teenagers and young adults due to the stigma associated with it. I’m glad that, by standing up and not being ashamed of my problem, I can help others have a voice. That I can help companies such as Kimberly-Clark develop products that correspond to their needs.
Ellen : Speaking of which, we can now see you in a Youtube advertisement, wearing the brand new… I guess you can say [I]training pants? What do you call them?
Joanne: They’re Pull-Ups Youth.[/I]
Ellen: That’s right! And that video had a lot of people talking, as you we’re previoulsy identifying yourself as a bedwetter on social networks… but the ad campaign is about a new product, for daytime wear. Many people saw it as a brave admission to being fully incontinent at your young age, but you later said you aren’t… is that correct?
Joanne: I did start out my patnership with Kimberly-Clark with a vlog series on my nightly and morning routine that included dealing with my bedwetting with the Goodnites underwear. Those shed light on a suprisingly common issue, but with the new ad campaign I wanted to show that it’s normal to have accidents from time to time, not just at night. It happens to more young people than you might think! Accidents happen, it’s not incontinence, but you better be safe than sorry!
Ellen: That’s… really I wasn’t aware of that. I guess it’s some kind of taboo that people don’t talk about, but now you’re saying you want to help break the shame and get more people to wear the product, your friends included. Are you friends participating?
Joanne: Of course, many of my friends are now wearing them just in case too on occasion. Whether were on a roadtrip, at a music festival, watching a movie at the theatre… or really anywhere without easy bathroom access. As a matter of fact I have one on right now.
Joanne gets up an lifts her shirt up to show the waistband of her Pull-Ups, peeking at the top of her pants.
Joanne: They’re regular underwear, only with a little bit of padding.
Ellen: It does look very practical when you think of it. I mean, I’d wear one!
The crowd laughs.
Ellen: No but it’s true though I can’t even imagine how many times this would’ve saved me from embarassment! Why didn’t we have those when I was a teen? The other night I was watching The Walking Dead, I could’ve certainly used one of those!
Crowd laughs, cheers.
Ellen: But really I admire your guts to admit of having that sort of need, especially at your age, it’s so important to have role models like you. Thank you so much for being with us today.
Alright let me start it from here. You’re probably wondering what kind of weird joke that was. A 20 year old on the Ellen Degeneres show, showing off that she’s wearing Pull-Ups in front of a 500 people audience and probably a couple of million more in front of their screens.
That’s called shameless promotion folks, and you’re watching that shit everyday. Kimberly-Clark pays me a shitload of money to speak on their behalf. They’re trying to convince the world that there’s no age limit to wear diapers anymore.
That ‘’just in case’’ tag line is written explicitely to market their product to customers who don’t need it. ‘’Better be safe than sorry’’, right?
The hard part is changing people’s mindset towards the product. You really know anyone who’d willingly put on a pair of Pull-Ups just because they’re going to an amusement park, a movie theater or on a night out?
Why would they? Pull-Ups are for toddlers who aren’t potty trained yet. They’re literally diapers, except you put them on like underwear. Not very attractive for teenagers and their constant need to be cool, to be grown ups.
[I]That’s where I come in. They needed a face for their new line of products, someone young and influential to shatter the stigma around this issue… and more importantly explore an all new, untapped… or should I say… untaped market.
Let me backtrack a little bit, to where all of this started. My name is Joanne Stuart, but my audience knows me as Joanie on my Youtube Channel. A few months ago, I was just a normal 20 year old. I had just moved from the US with my mother to London, for her to pursue job opportunities.
I made vlogs, talked about my life in front of my camera for a few minutes each day. I gathered somewhat of a fanbase, almost 5000 people. Even though I’m not the most interesting person in the world, I guess people feel like I’m sort of their virtual friend.
My friends attribute my success to young males being attracted to me. I guess that’s part of it as well. I do have the classic “girl next door look”. Maybe it plays a role since it makes me seem like I’m someone they might run into in the street, the tube or at their schools. Some even say I look like Clara from Doctor Who… whoever that is.
I like to think my subscribers like me because I’m relatable. I don’t try to invent crazy stories about myself. I’m honest with my fans and always tell the truth… or I used to.
My journey into becoming famous… or I guess “viral” to be more accurate, began in a rather unexpected way. You see, I used to wet the bed as a child. This problem plagued me well into my teens. It wasn’t a regular thing, but it came with stressful events and situations, ever since my father passed away when I was 10.
Whether it’d be a difficult exam at school, a play I had to act in or a job interview coming up I would wet myself in my sleep for a few days. Sometimes for as long as a full week until the event. Then it would stop naturally. I would wash my sheets everyday of the week during that time. It was embarrassing, but I was now used to it. Plus, it had been a few years since the last occurrence. I was accidents free since 2013.
Unfortunately I had to reset that count in May 2016. I was about to apply for an internship at my mother’s prestigious PR firm. She had managed to get me an interview with them for a communication paid internship two weeks later and I was afraid I’d disappoint her.
It was a Saturday so I woke up around noon with a feeling of doom… and humidity. I guess the stress brought back that old habit and I got up shamefully soaked in my own urine. I sighed, promptly changed out of my wet pajamas and knickers, then stripped off my bed.
I got down the stairs with my wet sheets and PJs in a basket. My mother was in the living room, talking with her friend Nicole, but interrupted her conversation when she saw me.
Mother: Oh sweetheart… not again?
Joanne: It’s nothing mom… just the stress.
I was trying to be dismissive. I did not want to discuss my personal issues in front of Nicole, even though I knew her for a long time, I was ashamed. My mom sensed it right away, but did nothing to help.
Mother: Don’t be embarrassed sweetie, Nicole is used to that sort of thing, she works for a company that deals with that kind of problem, right Nicole?
Nicole looked at me with a sharp glance of curiosity.
Nicole : Just so. Tell me, Joanne… does this happen to you often?
I climbed down the staircase, a bit shocked by her question. I’m 20 years old! But I was polite.
Joanne: No it doesn’t! It’s the first time since a few years now.
My mom didn’t allow me to finish my sentence.
Mother: It happens when she’s stressed. It’s occasional, but not irregular.
Joanne: Mom! It’s been 3 years…
Mother: And last night honey. Don’t worry, we’re on your side. We’re trying to help.
Nicole kept looking at me like she had just found a golden goose.
Nicole: Do you have any friends with the same problem, Joanne?
I was puzzled by her question.
Joanne: Not to my knowledge… Why?
Nicole: This problem may be more common than we think… If you have it, why not others? Right? No need to be ashamed of it. Only… Deal with it.
Joanne: Deal with it how?
She paused for a while, her eyes fixed on me. I sat on the last steps, put down my basket of wet things on the floor. Maybe she had a sort of medicine I could take, something to make me stop wetting the bed.
Nicole: Are you familiar with the company Kimberly-Clark, Joanne?
I shook my head.
Nicole: We’re a multi-billion dollar company that produces hygiene products. Like Kleenex, Kotex… and Huggies.
I didn’t like where this was going.
Joanne: Wait, those are baby… diapers.
Nicole : Right, nappies. But we don’t only make baby nappies. There’s also Pull-Ups training pants… and Goodnites. That’s my division. They’re special underwear for teenagers with that kind of… problem.
Joanne: I know what they are.
Mother: Joanne wore them at summer camp a few years ago.
Joanne: I was 14 mom! I’m not wearing diapers again.
I got back up with my basket.
Nicole : Wait a second Joanne, please. I wasn’t finished. We are trying to develop a new product, made for older teenagers and young adults. We noticed that there is a market for a wider target-audience, but the current product is not adapted for their needs. We’re testing out our new product, but we have to experiment a little, with older… bed wetters. In order to test the real use.
Joanne: I’m sorry Nicole, but I don’t want to be your lab rat and I certainly don’t want to put on diapers every night.
With that, I was ready to leave to finally reach the washing machine.
Nicole : We would pay you very well…
Joanne: How much are we talking about?
Nicole : A thousand pounds for the first week. How does that sound?
It sounded like an awful lot of money.
Joanne: And what would I have to do exactly?
Nicole: Simply report what you think of the product. How much it absorbs, how comfortable it is, how discreet… Anything you can think of. Your mother told me you make videos everyday? How about you create a video log of your routine. Every night before going to bed as you put on the product and in the morning… when the product’s been used. You record everything and send it to me.
Joanne: What if I don’t wet the bed all week?
Nicole : One way or another… the product has to be tested, so you will need to use it. 7 days, 1000 pounds. You just do what you usually do with your camera, but talk about the product.
What would you have done in my shoes?
Joanne: Alright here we go. Day 1. My name is Joanne Stuart. I’m not sure if I need to introduce myself or not but… I’m 20 years old. Hum… and I’m an occasional bed wetter. It doesn’t happen often, but during stress periods… there are sometimes a few occasions in a row. So yeah, I’ve been asked to test this new product. It’s called Goodnites Plus, I’ve heard that’s only a temporary name and the marketing team is gonna come up with something more… adult, to differentiate the target audience. Here’s the packaging… pretty bland, I’m sure they’re gonna work on that as well.
Joanne rips open the package and pulls out one of the briefs, shows it to the camera.
Joanne: Here’s the… underwear. I’m gonna unfold it, give you a look. I wore the girl’s Goodnites a few years ago when I was at summer camp and they had flowers and butterflies on them… very girly. These I guess are a bit more adult, they’re a light pink, no design. They’re probably gonna add some up, they told me they were only for testing, so… Yeah I’m not sure what to say, they look similar to the old model, a bit larger. They have tear-open sides, I think that makes them look a bit like Pull-Ups for toddlers. I mean, you can tell they’re not regular underwear. The padding around the crotch looks thicker too, but I remember my Goodnites leaking one time when I was 14 so I’m guessing that’s a good thing. Alright… gonna put it on.
The camera cuts.
Joanne appears again, wearing a camisole and the Goodnites Plus.
Joanne: I’m back! Hum yeah, this is kind of awkward but anyway. Hum… The diap… product, is comfortable enough. It’s like wearing a cloud on my bum basically.
She giggles, puts her hands on her face, blushing.
Joanne: Sorry, hum… It definitely feels thicker than how I remember the old Goodnites felt. Especially between the legs. As for discretion… I’m not sure I’d wear that at a sleepover, I’m gonna try with PJ pants on too, but right now I feel like my butt just doubled in size. I mean look at this.
She turns around, her movement accompanied by a crackling sound. She shakes her bum with the same crinkling.
Joanne: It sounds like a diaper too, I would NOT get away with that around people. For private use it isn’t so bad, it kind of smells and crinkles like a diaper which I recommend you tone down if you want young adults to buy this. I feel as though I’m getting dressed up as a baby for Halloween, if you get what I mean. The old Goodnites had the ‘’fabric layer’’ which helped, but maybe since this one is thicker you couldn’t get that done, I don’t know?
She jumps up and down a bit.
Joanne: The fit is snug. The thickness between my thighs is a bit weird, but oddly reassuring…. and that’s it I guess. I’ll see you back in the morning with the results.
Joanne turned off her camera.
I couldn’t believe I was actually doing this, at first. There I was, first night, feeling like an over sized toddler with a diaper between my legs. Regardless of what they wanted to call it, that was still exactly what it was… a big, thick diaper for old kids who still couldn’t keep their pants dry at night.
Now it made me feel like I was one of them, not-yet-fully-potty-trained kids. I guess I always kind of was, but I never identified that way. Now that I was back in Pull-Ups it was hard to be in denial. I had to call myself a bed wetter.
The realization dawned on me as I was putting on my flowery pajama pants to cover my Goodnites. Joanie the bed wetter. Could be my new Youtube nickname, I thought, laughing at myself. If only I knew what was to come…
I turned my camera back on to do my actual vlog for my Youtube audience. I filmed the whole thing with my diaper on. The lower half of my body wasn’t in sight and I wore PJs anyway. I got a bit self conscious whenever I moved my bum a bit, as the plastic sound was omnipresent, but in retrospect, nobody’s paying attention to that.
I talked about my day and whatnot, read a few fan questions and answered them, obviously avoiding to talk about the fact that I would soon go to bed in my diaper, then pee in it. Whether it would be in my sleep or not was the question on my mind.
I edited my video, saved it on my desktop like all my other stuff. I would have to post it on my channel the next day.
I crawled to my bed with a sigh. I patted the front of my diaper and for the first time in my entire life I almost wished I would wet the bed… I didn’t want to have to wet that thing while I was awake.
Joanne: Hey! Me again. Hum, yeah it is 10 in the morning, I just woke up, still a bit tired. Hum… Okay, so… Here we go. I…
She cleared her throat.
Joanne: I wet the bed last night. Or more accurately I wet the… product.
She got up so her pants would come into view. She pulled down the waistband of her pajama pants to show the front of the sagging diaper.
Joanne: As you can see, no leaks. In that regard I guess you can say it was effective. My bum feels wet and cold… but it’s still a better feeling then waking up in soaked sheets, I will give you that. The diaper… sorry, the Goodnite is still in place around my waist. If feels saggy but the thickness absorbed well, it feels better than what I remember from before. I’ll use these tear-down sides now, to take it off.
She stepped aside, away from the camera’s eye, slipped down her PJ pants then torn down the sides of the Goodnite. She balled up the used diaper and threw it in her trash bag. She cleaned herself with the baby wipes provided by Nicole and put on a pair of knickers before slipping back into her PJs. She came back to the camera’s view.
Joanne: The taking-off process is a bit humiliating in my opinion, I really feel like a little girl getting changed out of my Pull-Ups when I do that. I guess it’s also part of the feeling that comes with peeing yourself. I don’t know if you can come up with a solution that has more… dignity. I’m just saying. So… yeah. So far so good. It feels weird to wear diapers at 20 years old to be honest, but in terms of efficiency, it does work. I’ll keep you in touch for the results tonight when I put it on again.
I turned off the video. I added it quickly to the first one I made the night before and called it VLOG1 on my desktop. Today was an important day for me. I needed to get ready for an interview for an internship. I got dressed quickly, gathered my things and left my flat in a hurry.
Sitting in the vast lobby of a tower downtown London, I was waiting for the receptionist to call my name. Feeling a bit nervous, I kept scrolling in my social network feeds for a distraction. I read a few of my followers comments, but then I noticed I had fewer then usual.
I forgot to upload yesterday’s video to my Youtube account. I wouldn’t be home until later that evening and I needed to put that content online, or else my whole ‘’daily video’’ concept would collapse.
I called my mom, hoping she’d he home for lunch.
Joanne: Mum? Are you home? Oh thank God, can you do me a huge favor please? Go to my room, on my computer…
The receptionist: Miss Joanne Stuart?
Joanne : Just a sec please! Mum, I need to go, but can you upload my vlog from yesterday to my Youtube channel please? It’s on my desktop. Yeah, my password is saved to that computer so it shouldn’t be a problem.
The receptionist: Miss Stuart, now please.
Joanne: On my desktop! Gotta go, thanks mom!
I hung up.
The interview went rather well… okay to tell the truth I wasn’t prepared enough. A lot of questions were focused on past experiences, which I lacked severely. I even saw them raising their eyebrows at some point. My phone kept buzzing in my pocket and I had to mumble an excuse. Before turning it off I noticed I had a huge number of notifications. My vlog must’ve been more popular then usual.
I shook hands with my interviewers and thanked them for their time. The whole process took about an hour and I left the building feeling a bit light-headed.
On the bus-ride I realized I hadn’t turned my phone on yet. I wanted to get a look at my new comments, maybe it would cheer me up.
I opened the Youtube app and typed in my name. I saw myself in my room in the first video coming up. 34 000 views. Woah. How was that even possible, in only an hour and a half.
I watched my video closely, but without the sound because I didn’t have my headphones with me. I saw myself talking to the camera and then lifting up a package… Oh no.
I realized with horror what had happened. My mom uploaded the wrong video my Youtube channel. I was speechless, watching myself ripping open the diaper package and pulling one out.
Tears started forming in my eyes. 34 000 people (and counting) had seen me talking about…. and wearing a diaper on camera.
My heart pumped so fast as I couldn’t help but watch the entirety of the video, as if I was someone else watching it for the first time. My heart stopped as I got to the part I had filmed this morning.
I saw myself getting up, pulling down the waistband of my pajama pants, exposing my wet Pull-Ups to the entire world.
I panicked. I clicked on my account and made the video private at once. It took me 45 minutes to get home. I logged onto my computer to assess the damage. I looked at the comments. Oddly enough, most of them were super positive and supportive. I was expecting to see a bunch of haters making fun of me. There was a fair load of them as well, but not as much as I would’ve thought and most of them got told off by other users.
Tony007rox : lmaoooo what a loser, she still wears diapers, do you go poopy in your diaper too? Does mommy change you?
To which someone named Emmabutterfly replied : Gtfo you’re the loser here, she’s a brave young woman who’se not afraid of your opinion. U GO GIRL
Jakob Karl Klein : How is that brave? She’s just a chick wearing a diaper, Miley Cyrus did the same in her video and she’s a freak… now this girl shows us her wet Pull-Ups on tape and it’s genius? lol go get pottytrained #yourabigkid now #NOT
Stef Shadow: You clearly don’t see the bigger picture here. She’s speaking on behalf of thousands of teens with similar issues and she wants Goodnites to create appropriate products for them. I used to wet the bed as a teen and she’s right it’s humiliating!!! It’s about time somebody steps up and says something!
Wow. People were really at each other’s throat on the subject. I didn’t expect it to be so polarizing.
Stoner2001: Wtf did I just watch? Did she piss in her pull-ups live on camera?
JanetJ: Fuck off, she’s talking about a sensitive issue, she got more courage than you’ll ever have.
There was even some…. strange comments like:
Nappyboi84: You look sexy in ur diaper can I change you? Can u be my mommy?
There was a fair share of those actually. People seemed to be… aroused by the fact that I wore a diaper.
Then I received a facebook message notification. It was my best friend Chelsea.
Chelsea: You got to be fking kidding me
I didn’t even have the time to answer before she sent me a link. It was a NowBuzzPost article with yours truly as a cover, wearing nothing but my T-Shirt and Pull-Ups.
The title read: ‘’Must Watch! A Brave Youtuber Not Afraid to Talk About Her ‘’Embarrassing’’ Problem! The End will leave you Speechless…’’
I clicked on the link and there I was again. They must’ve downloaded the video before I took it off. Fuck. There was a small description saying that I was advocating on behalf of teenagers with nocturnal enuresis and that people were ‘’rallying’’ with me to support the cause.
There was a ton of comments on there too. Mostly praises for my courage and compassion. This was going way too fast, I felt dizzy. I took another look at my Youtube page. I had gained 4378 followers in the last 2 hours. All because my mom posted a video of me wearing some stupid diaper and admitting my bedwetting.
How was nobody seeing that this was plainly a review of the product and not a cry for recognition of teenage bedwetting as an important issue?
I received a call. It was Nicole. Shit. This was supposed to stay a secret. The whole product development strategy was now exposed even before the product was finished. She must be furious. I picked up the phone, waiting to be fired on the spot.
Nicole: I don’t know why you did that, but you have to do it again. We just hit a goldmine.
The light next to her web cam turns on.
Joanne: Hey guys, it’s me. Joanie! So… yesterday was super crazy and I want to thank everyone for your support. For those who don’t know, yesterday I ‘’came out’’ as a bed wetter. I admitted in front of the whole world that I, Joanne Stuart, 20 years old, still have issues with bed wetting. I’m not ashamed of it.
She takes a deep breath, then glances at the text written by Nicole on the computer screen in front of her.
Joanne: Now I want to take this opportunity to tell all the young people out there with the same issue that they are not alone. This is not an uncommon problem and there are solutions to it. In the last few days I have been working with people at Goodnites and Drynites here in the UK to improve their products. Together, we want to overcome the issue of bed wetting among teenagers and young adults.
She looks at Nicole, sitting in the dark in complete silence.
Joanne: In the coming days I will be documenting my journey with Goodnites pants to give insights to young people who have similar issues and to promote open-mindedness with everyone around them. Let’s break the taboo of bed wetting. I am Joanne Stuart and I’m not ashamed.
She gets up to reveal to the camera that she isn’t wearing pants, but only a pair of Goodnites underwear, exhibiting butterfly designs. She cuts the recording.
Nicole: You did great Joanne, I’m very proud of you.
Joanne: Don’t you think it’s a bit ridiculous, the getting up to show I’m wearing Pull-Ups? How can people take me seriously after that, I’m literally showing off my diaper.
Nicole: But that’s the whole point. We show you’re not afraid of criticism. Like it or not, it’s becoming your trademark. Besides… we only had you showing the prototype version of the product, which doesn’t mean anything to anyone. This one though…
She pointed at my Pull-Ups.
Nicole: This one, they can buy.
Joanne: So what’s the plan now?
Nicole: Now… well now you’re becoming the face of our product, Joanne. You’ve hit the jackpot. As soon as we have Goodnites Plus on the market we’ll put your face on it. in the meantime, you’re going to document the development… and make sure this is a talked-about subject. We have the medias attention now and we’re going to use it.
Joanne: I wasn’t planning for any of this…
Nicole : Joanne… You wanted to be famous, didn’t you? That’s why you were putting videos of yourself on Youtube everyday… well now you’ll be more famous than you could ever dream of. And Kimberly-Clark behind your back, we’ve got one of the best advertisement team in the world. More than that, you’ll become a model for young people, one who isn’t hiding who she is.
Joanne: But it’s not entirely true though. I mean, my bed wetting is only occasional. It came with a stress period… It’ll be gone soon, what happens then?
Nicole : The truth doesn’t matter Joanie, only what we tell people. Now, for the good of the ad campaign, you will have to twist the truth a little. We’ll get the team working on the narrative. In the world’s eyes, you’ve always been a bed wetter… and you use Goodnites products.
She walked over to the door.
Nicole: We’ll talk soon. In the meantime, keep doing your vlogs, like we discussed. I have provided you with a few packs of the Goodnites we sell internationally since your audience is mainly american, but there’s also a few Drynites packages for Europe. You can alternate between the two. From now on we only show products people can buy, when we have the new product, we’ll get you to advertise for it.
She had a twinkle in her eyes when looking at me. I felt naked in just my t-shirt and Pull-Ups in front of her.
Nicole: This is the start of something great.
She left. I sat on my crinkly bum as I looked at my myself on the computer screen. The last image taken on my webcam: a 20 year old girl proudly showing her Pull-Ups to her audience. Was it really all that noble? Nicole made it sound like I would become a sort of social justice warrior, fighting for bed wetting teens… but she also made it sound like such a capitalist scheme.
I browsed the web to end up staring at myself once again. The video my mother uploaded mistakenly was now back on my Youtube channel and marked more than 800 000 views.
Alex45: War in Syria : nobody cares …. 20 year old still in Pull-Ups : everybody loses their mind ?! WTF is this… Grow up and put your big girl pants on.
StefonArkhamCity: Your doing great, my son is 8 and still wets the bed 2. Good job!
Jazzmine: lmao that girl is a badass in pampers. Go get em gurl! Tellem
I had to stop reading. I got up, still sporting the Goodnites that got me so much attention. I headed over to the ton of packages Nicole had brought me earlier that day. There was 4 pink Goodnites packages containing 25 briefs each as well as 2 smaller Drynites packages that held 13 each. A total of 126 pairs of Pull-Ups.
I was holding the package I had opened earlier to put one of the briefs on, looking at the smiling girl on it, thinking it would soon be my face on a similar package. How much time would it take me to go through one hundred and twenty six freaking diapers? They were nuts.
What had started as a deal for a week in diapers at night was beginning to blow way out of proportions… but I had no idea to what extend yet. [/I]
I took a deep breath. I looked around me still getting used to my new environment. It’s been a few weeks now since my first video for Kimberly-Clark has gone viral.
My audience has expanded 10 times and I’m now followed by nearly half a million people. Sure, I get a lot of hate and mockery, but I also have dedicated fans. Thousands of young folks looking up to me.
Thanks to the company’s advertisement I quickly became an inspiration for teenage bed wetters and a role model for anyone fighting prejudice. I got invited to TV morning shows and they called me a symbol of anti-bullying.
‘’A brave young woman, not afraid to be herself, working to help others in her condition.’’
Sometimes I felt bad about it all. Like I wasn’t really myself. Sure… I did have issues with bed wetting when I was younger, but it wasn’t the case anymore. It had been weeks since my last night-time accident, even though my official image required me to still present myself as a bed wetter. People had to believe it or else my message wouldn’t have the same impact.
I still wore the Goodnites to bed though. Not only was I used to it now, my dresser was constantly refilled with new packs, which added to the pressure of putting it on.
Our new strategy was to aim at young adults and convince them that it was a normal thing for them to experience urinary incontinence every now and then. New statistics had come out showing that 10 to 15% of teenagers between 14 and 20 years old still had issues with enuresis. I don’t know where they did their studies, but people were starting to believe it and sales in the Goodnites and Drynites product had grown by 30%.
I now had a publicist, Claire, following me around, working on my statements and scheduling my life. She was beside me as I stood in my room that had been transformed into a studio. A microphone was hanging on top of my head.
[I]The camera in front of me was operated by 2 technicians. My best friend Chelsea on the side, busy operating my new Twitter accound ‘’Joanie the Bedwetter’’.
I took another deep breath. Okay… Showtime.
The camera turns on.
Joanne: Hi guys, it’s Joanie! First of all thanks for all your amazing comments, I read each and everyone of them and it makes me feel so good to know I have your support! The past few weeks were so intense, sometimes I feel like I’m in a dream! Except in this one… I don’t wet myself haha.
Claire looked at me with her thumbs up. She had suggested the little joke there, to ‘’make people feel at ease’’. Every word I said was pretty much written down for me now. An elaborate publicity campaign disguised as a vlog.
Joanne: Now I want to talk about something that is very important to me… In the past few weeks, as you all know, I’ve been working closely with the good people at Kimberly-Clark to develop a new product. It’s now time for us to unveil it. We came up with an advertisement that’s gonna appear before Youtube videos, but you guys are gonna get the exclusive premiere right here, right now! I hope you enjoy.
[I]Joanne is walking down a school hallway, wearing a pair of shorts and a baseball t-shirt. Her hair is tied as a braid. The shot is black and white and a sad piano tune accompanies it. Young girls look at her, giggling and whispering in each other’s ears.
Joanne: Life before… was tough. You slip up once… have an accident and everyone knows. It feels like it’s over. Like you’re the only one with this problem. Sometimes I thought ‘’how could I have avoided all this embarrassment?’’
Joanne is in the gym, a group of teenagers surrounding her, all laughing, pointing in her direction. She’s standing close to the wall, with a large wet spot on her crotch, tears falling down her eyes, she runs away from the group. The wet spot is still visible on her butt as she gets away.
The sound of the last piano notes decreases as the shot fades to black.
Joanne : Now I know what the solution is.
Joanne wakes up in her bed, smiling. Color has returned to the frame. It’s sunny outside and she’s wearing a pink T-shirt over her Goodnites with butterflies on them. She gets up in haste. There’s a package of ‘’Pull-Ups Youth’’ standing neatly on her dresser. It featues a picture of Joanne smiling. The real Joanne passes by and grabs a brief that was standing alone next to it, then heads towards the bathroom.
She’s surrounded by friends at an ice cream place, they’re all laughing. The camera comes around them to show Joanne’s jean waistband with no sign of underwear peeking through them.
Joanne: Pull-Ups Youth are discreet and comfy, because we’re active young people. Anyone can have an accident, it’s just part of life. I’m Joanie and I wear Pull-Ups Youth just in case!
The advertisement ends with another package shot showing the boy and girl version of the same product, with the caption : 1 in 5 young adults will experience daytime accidents. Be prepared with Pull-Ups Youth. Just in case.
Back to Joanne’s room.
Joanne: So that’s it guys! That was a lot of fun to shoot… but you know, it’s actually based on true events. When I was in highschool it happened to me. It could’ve been anyone, really… but it had to be me. I had an accident in gym class. I peed myself in front of everyone. After that I felt like my life was over. Everyone knew about it, they called me names like ‘’potty girl’’ and ‘’tinkle pants’’.
Joanne paused, looking ashamed. The story wasn’t true, of course, but elements of it reminded me of summer camp and my Goodnites bag getting exposed to my cabin mates… The actual names they called me were ‘’diaper baby’’ and ‘’Pampers butt’’. That had to be the other way around for the purpose of the ad, obviously. It had to be the embarrassment of not wearing the product rather than the humiliation of people finding out I wore Pull-Ups.
Joanne: I was so embarrassed, I don’t wish that on anyone… luckily there’s now a solution to it. I encourage all youth and young adults watching this video right now, if you think there’s even a remote chance it could happen to you… better be safe than sorry. That’s why you can now go on pullupsyouth.com and write in the promo code ‘’Joanie sent me’’ to get a 15% discount on your first purchase and try it out! Thank you all for watching and I’ll see you soon!
Claire : Okay cut! That was perfect Joanie. Next time though could you maybe show you’re wearing the product, so young people feel more confident, knowing one of them isn’t ashamed of putting it on.
Joanne: Hmm… yeah.
Claire : You are… wearing the product, right?
Claire : Joanie! Go put it on! You’ve got tons of them how are you not always wearing one!
Claire took an open package of Pull-Ups Youth and threw it at me.
Joanne: Well maybe because I don’t always feel like walking around in Pull-Ups like a toddler! You know I don’t really need them, right?
Claire: It doesn’t matter if you need them or not, it matters that people think you do! Come on, chop chop, go put it on.
I sighed and walked by Chelsea to reach the bathroom.
Chelsea: Yeah Jo, show us your cute butt in those Pull-Ups, they make you look good! Woo!
Joanne: Shut up Chel.
I took one of the briefs out of the package and threw the pack at Chelsea’s face. She laughed and looked at the package, smiling back at the picture of me.
Chelsea: That wasn’t necessary! You better go put your diaper on before you pee yourself young lady! Wow, look at your face on this! It’s like you’re all happy you still piss your pants.They better start paying you more for admitting to shit like that!
Claire : We offer more than enough compensation Chelsea, but if you don’t wish to be on the team anymore, that can be arranged.
Chelsea: Oh come on, I’m just joking!
I got out in just my T-Shirt and Pull-Ups. The design was very similar to the regular Goodnites, except the print were little suns and flowers. The tear apart sides looked exactly like the toddler version of the Pull-Ups.
I paraded in my glorified diaper in front of Chelsea and started twerking my crinkly butt in front of her face to annoy her.
Chelsea: Phew! You smell! Someone change this baby’s diaper!
Joanne: Oh my god, shut up!
Claire: Okay ladies, that’s enough, we’ve got work to do. Joanie, why don’t you get dressed, we’re going out today, remember? You’re meeting fans.
I stopped playing and got back to the bathroom to put my pants on.
Chelsea: I hope they’re all wearing diapers, cause they’re gonna pee themselves when they see you coming in! ‘’Oh my Lord it’s Joanie haaaaa!’’.
Claire: That’s precisely the point. Maybe you should start wearing one too, Chelsea, are you coming along with us?
Chelsea: I wouldn’t miss it!
I got out of the bathroom with my pants on over my Pull-Ups.
Joanne: I’m ready.
Journalist: I gotta say, your rise to popularity is still a mystery to me, as I’m sure it is for a lot of people out there. I mean, it reminds me of the scene in Billy Madison when Adam Sandler makes it cool for kids to pee their pants just cause he did! I mean, you’re taking it to the extreme: you’re making it cool for teens to wear diapers!
Joanne: That’s one way to look at it and I gotta say it’s the first time I’ve heard this comparison, it’s pretty funny. Although I don’t think it’s exactly the same… I’m not making it ‘’cool’’ by any means to have urinary incontinence problems. What I am making ‘’cool’’ is the acceptance of people with such problems, rather than the bullying a lot of them suffer or the humiliation of being found out. Which I think is about time becomes cool if you ask me.
Journalist: Very well said and you’re absolutely right, I mean, who could argue with that. I’ve just never seen as many teenagers and young adults wanting to wear diapers before! The sales of your product went through the roof! How do you explain that? Would you say it’s because they always needed them or perhaps some of them don’t need to wear diapers, but now want to… maybe it’s part of the trend isn’t it? It’s a common trait of the youth to want to be special and different in their own way. After the gothic and emo trends, here comes the diapers!
Joanne: First of all I don’t think you should call them diapers, the product I’m recommending isn’t a traditional diaper, it’s called Goodnites Plus and Pull-Ups Youth they are products designed for the comfort and security of young folks, not to treat them like babies. Second, I think it’s unfair to assume that those statistics mean it’s a ‘’trend’’ and that people do it just for attention seeking purposes. I believe we have highlighted an important message in our society. One of acceptance and we have shown that we value those who aren’t afraid of being themselves. I’m glad more people are coming out in support and I always tell them they can be allies to our cause. We are organizing the ‘’March for Protection’’ next month, which I hope will raise more awareness to our cause. Everybody’s invited to walk with us, wearing nothing but their protective underpants in solidarity. Goodnites Plus and Pull-Ups Youth will be available on site. You should come too, it’ll be lots of fun!
Journalist: Thank you so much for your time! This was Joanne Stuart, known as her alias Joanie Bedwetter. The sales of Goodnites Plus and Pull-Ups Youth have tripled since the beginning of this campaign. One of the most important in hygienic products the world has ever seen, all thanks to a viral video and subsequent series on Youtube. Find more information on the website at the bottom of the screen. I’m Malethony Gangbangno and you’re watching News Flash!
Director : CUT!
Claire : You did great Joanie. Come on, we’ve got other people to see.
Claire dragged me across the masses. We walked down a park where the team had organized a meet-up with fans, Youtuber style. The Protection March was next month and we needed to create as much awareness as we could so that people would participate. Most of all, create a feeling of closeness with my fans.
Chelsea: Damn right Jo, you showed him what’s up. What a jerk with his ‘’trying to rationalize’’ bullshit.
Joanne: He was kind of right though, wasn’t he? I mean… A lot of people don’t really need to wear diapers but they still do because it makes them different and people who complain get called out. Have you seen this article the other day? A 20 something lifeguard sued her boss because she wanted to wear a diaper… at swimming pool! They say she isn’t even incontinent, she did it for the money.
Claire : You know what that tells me, Joanne? We should make swim diapers too. That’s gold, I’ll write it down.
Chelsea: Who cares it’s a trend? That’s just good for us, isn’t it? The more those dumb-dumbs buy the product, the more money we make. They even get to feel good because they’re so open-minded and edgy!
Claire: Chelsea’s right on this one. We’re hitting the best market trend since the climate change became a thing.
Joanne: It IS a thing. And need I remind you our diapers are far from eco-friendly…
Claire: Hmm. Whatever. You know what we should do next? Make it unacceptable to NOT wear Pull-Ups ‘till you’re 20. Oh what a time to be alive!!
Joanne: What a time indeed….
As we got closer to the group of people waiting for me, I could here their screams. They had spotted me. From afar they looked pretty eclectic. Multi-cultural. Some emo kids such as the reporter had described, with red hair and facial piercings, but also some preppy sorority girls, probably looking for a good cause to back that didn’t require too much humanitarian work. Just slip a pair of Pull-Ups on girls, you’re now a group of activists.
There was a few guys in there, but in very limited quantity. Most of which had the kind of embarrassed look on their faces suggesting they might accompanying their girlfriend. The majority of my active fans were girls. It seemed as if guys were still too proud to come out as diaper wearers, but girls found it more cute and accessible. Similar to holding hands, wearing onesie pajamas and owning plush animals. Not as popular with boys. Maybe society had programmed girls to think childish behavior was more acceptable for them then it had for boys. Maybe boys simply don’t want to show it as much or maybe they don’t associate with me because I’m a woman. Who knows? I’m no sociologist. All I know is there’s less then 10% male population in this crowd.
Another observation: a lot of them are wearing their diapers visibly. They either wear it over their pants - which defeats the purpose - or don’t wear pants at all. Like ‘’look at me, I’ve got a diaper on too!’’ It looks like a Halloween party where everyone decided to go as babies. Some of them even have pacifiers for Christ sake.
Chelsea : Look at all those diapered girls! Try to guess how many of them are wet!
It reminds me of my own diapered state, with the Pull-Ups I’m wearing under my pants brushing against my inner thighs.
Joanne: Don’t laugh, I’ve got one too!
Claire: And so should you.
Chelsea: Oh no. Ain’t no way I’m putting this thing on, baby. I’m all for the support, but don’t ask me to wear a diaper, I’m too old for that shit!
Joanne: Come on Chel! It’ll be fun! Hey, we can even start a brand under your name. ‘’The Chelsea Pull-Ups, perfect for poopy accidents’’ Wouldn’t you want your face on the packaging?
Claire and I laughed.
Chelsea: You two are disgusting!
Joanne: Come on let’s go meet the fans and don’t worry Chel, if they ask me if you wear one too I’ll just tell them you’re my official diaper changer.
Chelsea: Yuk. Sure… Then it also means I’ll be checking your Pull-Ups often to make sure you didn’t go pee-pee, little girl. Hey Claire, you got a diaper bag for me to carry? I want to make sure my Jojo has enough to last her the day. We know how often she has little accidents, don’t we? Hey maybe you should wet them in front of them, I’m sure they’d love that shit!
Joanne: Shut up you dweeb, we’re getting close! Get your fake smile on and…. Showtime!
TV Host: What is now called the ‘diapergate’ saga continues as a research by the University of Greenville reports that 15% of young adults from 18 to 24 years old have worn a diaper to at least one occasion in support with the cause. 9% of them admitted to now wearing diapers or what they call ‘’Pull-Ups Youth’’ every day. With us now is Lainey Richards, UofG student. Lainey, can you please explain to us your choice of wearing diapers?
Lainey: Of course. It has come to our attention that a strong percentage of young people have been discriminated against for having issues with daytime accidents and needing protection. To me, wearing Pull-Ups is a way to show my support, it’s a way to say: You don’t need to be ashamed, you don’t need to be afraid, we are in this together. I’m proud to be wearing Pull-Ups!
TV Host: Have you experimented a different treatment by your peers since the start of your support to this movement?
Lainey: There has been a few different reactions. At first I was made fun of by several classmates. I was the laughing stock for a while,but then the movement expanded and so many people joined it, it felt like a relief. I would say I am now better equiped to understand my privilege of not needing protection, as I’ve been in the shoes… or should I say the underwear of people who do. Safe spaces have been created in multiple universities for people like us who support the Protection movement.
TV Host: What do these safe spaces consist of exactly?
Lainey: They are rooms where we can go hang out with our fellow wearers, without the fear of being judged. Of course you need to be wearing protection to enter, as a way to discourage non-allies to disturb it Which is why we hang out in just our protective underpants in there, along with our tops obviously.
TV Host: You mean that it’s a room full of adults, wearing diapers in plain sight?
Lainey: You can say it like that, but I prefer to view it as a community of protection supporters.
TV Host: a lot of people have argued that this whole movement was started by Kimberly-Clark, as a way to get young adults to wear diapers. They are in fact the only diaper brand offering products made especially for young adults. What do you say to that?
Lainey: I would say that this movement was started by a brave young woman named Joanne Stuart who managed to convince a big corporation to help her cause by providing products adapted to our needs. She’s not only a hero, she’s a an inspiration for all of us. I would even say that…
Television turns off
Chelsea: Hey! She was talking about you! Plus she’s totally trending on Twitter right now.
Joanne: I don’t care. I makes me feel weird.
It did make me feel unfomfortable. The bigger this movement was getting, the more fraudulent I felt. What had I done? People were now parading in their universities in their Pull-Ups, stirring up debates around what’s appropriate to wear at school. Using the pretense of social justice to ask for privileges.
Claire: She’s giving us great publicity. You should be proud. You’re an icon now Joanie.
Chelsea: Yeah Jo, you’re like a modern Jeanne of Parks or whatever… like you totally showed them. They should make a statue of you. Oh my God, can you imagine if they did? You’d totally be wearing a diaper on it, that would be so funny.
Joanne: Shut up Chel. What’s the plan today Claire?
Claire: You are doing a photoshoot with Fashionista Magazine.
Chelsea: Oooh! They’re totally gonna make Pull-Ups the new item.
Claire: That’s the point actually. We’re hoping that this photoshoot will solidify our hold on popular culture once the Social Movement trend wears off. Those things are bound to disappear so we need to show people that buying our product isn’t just a solidarity thing, it’s a fashion statement. We’re adapting our angle. They want you in the shoot too Chelsea.
Chelsea: Me? Why the hell would they want me?
Claire: Corporate wants to show that our product isn’t only meant for people with incontinence issues, no offense Joanie. They want a fresh new face who’s known to the public and hasn’t been seen wearing our product so far.
Chelsea: Oh no no no… I told you before, I’m not putting one of those things on. I’m all in support, I’m making my money with the social media thing, that’s cool. Diapers though, that’s not cool with me. I’ve got a reputation to maintain.
Claire: You don’t need to wear the full diaper, you can put on the underwear style pull-up. Think about it Chelsea, you’ll appear in a national fashion magazine and start a new trend that will be followed by tens of thousands of people. All the fashion icons have made controversial statements in the past, why not you?
Chelsea looked like she was having an internal debate. She had always wanted to appear in a magazine, since we were young. I knew she was gonna say yes. Plus I had an idea on how to have some fun with her during the shoot.
Chelsea: You better upgrade my pay if I do this thing.
Claire: We’ll see about that. The car is waiting for us outside. Come on.
We exited the building and a black Land Rover was indeed parked in front, waiting for us. Chelsea and I got in the back while Claire sat on the passenger seat.
Joanne: You’ll see Chel, Pull-Ups aren’t so bad. I’m wearing them all the time now and I barely even notice them anymore. They feel just like regular underwear.
Chelsea: That’s cause you get paid like 10K a week. Plus you probably even started peeing yourself by accident after wearing those so long.
Joanne: I do not!
Chelsea: Oh sure you don’t… Except when you’re on camera, right?
Joanne: I did it once and it was to prove a point! I do not pee in my Pull-Ups Chel!! I use the bathroom like a normal adult!
Claire : Yeah about that… don’t forget what corporate has said. You’re not allowed to be seen publicly entering or exiting a bathroom. It would ruin the concept of having you needing the product.
Joanne: What?! I thought that was a joke.
Claire : Hmm, nope. It’s in your contract. So next time you gotta go in public, use your Pull-Ups. That’s what they’re for anyway.
I felt my cheeks getting red. I had no intentions of wetting myself on purpose. Contract or not, I’d find a way not to.
Chelsea: See? They got you peeing in your diapers now. What’s next? No more pants in public either?
Claire: I like you’re ideas Chelsea. You’ll go far.
We entered the studio and we were told the photographer was running behind schedule and we had to hurry. I sensed some tension in the room. Claire had said something about those types of magazines not being too friendly when corporate was using them to push their agendas.
Everyone at the studio was courteous and professional, but they were rather cold to me. I could feel I was being judged. The receptionist gave us a tour of the area and pointed Chelsea and I to our two separate dressing rooms.
Receptionist: The studio is at the end of the hallway and the bathroom is on the right… Although I’m guessing you’ve got that covered already.
What the hell did she mean?
Chelsea: Hum. Sure… I’m gonna head there now actually. I don’t plan on needing to go after putting this thing on.
Claire: They can be pulled up and down Chelsea, that’s why their called Pull-Ups. Joanne is wearing the night-time one, which admittedly can be more tricky to take off.
Chelsea: Whatever, I’m going.
The receptionist gave us a strange judgmental look and headed back to the entrance while my friend walked in the opposite direction.
Joanne: Do you mind if I mess up with Chel a bit?
Claire: Please do, that girl is getting on my nerves.
I walked over to the dressing room’s door with my name on it, picked up the name card and switched it with Chelsea’s name card. Making her dressing room mine and vice versa. I then entered and locked the door.
Joanne: Hey everyone it’s Joanie and I’m currently at Fashionista’s studio to do a photoshoot with my best friend Chelsea. Some of you may know that Chelsea is in charge of my twitter account and she’s always been supportive of our movement… however, she never wore protection, but that’s about to change.
[I]The young woman walks down the corridor, holding her phone as a camera, pointed towards herself. She’s wearing a white t-shirt with the letters ‘’Big Girl’’ embroidered in gold, along with a pair of Pull-Ups Youth in plain sight.
Joanne: Chel thinks that she’s gonna wear Pull-Ups for the shoot and I’m wearing the night-time, diaper-looking protection, but I pulled a little prank on her.
[I]She leans in closer to the screen and whispers.
Joanne: I switched our dressing rooms!
[I]She walks over to the door marked ‘’Chelsea’’ and knocks.
Joanne: We gotta go Chel, now or never.
Chelsea : Jo? This is a mistake. Someone took my clothes and left me with just… Are you laughing? Did you do this?! Oh my god. Claire?! Where are my clothes? You can’t do this to me Jo. I won’t do it. I won’t.
Joanne: Stop acting like a baby and put it on Chelsea we have 5 minutes to get to the studio. Do you want us to lose the contract, come on!
Chelsea: I’m not doing it. Don’t you pressure me!
Claire: Chelsea if you don’t get out right now Joanne is losing her spot on the cover of the magazine, you want to be responsible for that?
[I]Moment of silence. Claire winks at the camera while Joanne giggles.
Chelsea : FINE. Give me a minute. I can’t fucking believe you fucking bitch!
Claire: We’ll edit the cursing out later.
Joanne: It’s a live video…
[I]A minute later, the door opened and Chelsea came out, looking grumpy as ever, wearing a black top marked with the same ‘’Big Girl’’ letters, except hers were crossed over, as if to state that she actually wasn’t a big girl. Which made sense according to the fact that she also wore a big puffy diaper, covered with flowers and bows.
Joanne: Woooow! Look how precious you are Chel! Say hello!
Chelsea : I’m gonna kill you for this Jo… Are you filming me?! STOP!
[I]She puts her hand on the camera lense to cover it.
Chelsea: I hate you! Claire, you told me I’d be wearing the panties-looking one, not this… monstrosity. I look like a goddamn over-sized baby in this.
Claire: It was Joanne’s idea.
Chelsea: Are you fucking kidding me Joanie? Look what you did to me! I look like Miley Cyrus in BB Talk.
Joanne: You’re fine! You look like Melanie Martinez in… well pretty much everything.
Chelsea: Is that supposed to be a compliment?!
Claire:Stop acting like a baby Chelsea, you’re gonna be a fashion model.
Joanne: Yeah I swear since you started wearing diapers you’re being so childish… Sniff Snif… Do you smell something Claire?
Claire: Hmm yes, Chelsea is that you? Don’t tell me you need to be changed already?!
She patted her diapered butt and tugged at the waistband a little, like she was checking her.
Chelsea: Stop it! You guys are the worst.
We had been modeling for pictures for about an hour. The setting was very minimalistic, all white background. We were asked to make all kinds of poses. Chelsea seemed to still be mad at me, but she was rather professional during the shoot. I could only tell with the mean looks she gave me that she hadn’t quite foriven me yet.
It got a bit worse when she was asked to lie on the floor her legs in the air with her thumb in her mouth while I was kneeling in front of her as if I was changing her. Oh she hated me then.
For my part I was having a pretty good time. Sure I was parading around on a stage in a pair of Pull-Ups but I was getting used to that. They’re all I had as underwear anyway. Besides, the sight of Chelsea crawling on the floor in a puffy diaper was well worth it.
One thing was still on my mind: The interdiction to go to the bathroom. My publicist, Claire, had mentioned that I was contractually obliged to avoid going to the bathroom while in public, because it would ‘’ruin the concept of needing Pull-Ups in the first place’’. They really wanted people to believe I was completely incontinent. The reason this was now weighing on my mind is that I felt an increasing need to pee. I was wondering if ‘’pulic places’’ included this set, because if it did, I was gonna be in trouble.
Joanne: Hum. Can I take a quick bathroom break?
Photographer : We’re running out of time - you can go after. Or right now… you decide.
Joanne: I think I’d prefer to go now.
I was about to walk off the stage.
Photographer: I meant now, here.
Claire: You can’t do that Joanie, we’re in public - remember the contract.
Joanne: Screw the contract I really need to pee! We’re not even in public, we’re in a studio. Come on!
I was now doing the potty dance up on the stage, pushing my hands against my padded crotch and squirming. The photographer apparently thought that’d be the perfect occasion to keep snapping shots of me in full desperation mode.
Claire: We’ll I guess as long as there’s no fans around it shouldn’t be a problem. But make it quick!
I was so relieved after she said that, I jumped off the stage and ran across the studio towards the doors.
Photographer : Hey! You’ve got 15 minutes left then I’m out. It’s now or never!
Joanne: It’ll just be a second!
I pushed the two heavy doors that led to the hallway. I was shocked to realize it was flooded by 20 people looking around.
Young girl: Look there she is!!
All their heads turned over to look at me. I was frozen in place, holding the doors open, wearing nothing else than my ‘’Big Girl’’ T-Shirt and Pull-Ups. Still fidgeting to make sure I wouldn’t pee myself.
Then they all rushed in, they ran across the hall. I immediately closed the doors before they could reach me and locked them. They were looking at me through the windows, yelling ‘’Joanie! Joanie!’’. It was like a nightmare. They all looked like a horde of zombies trying to eat my brains.
Joanne: How did they know I was here?!
Claire: Didn’t you just record a live video of Chelsea in her diaper? You probably mentioned the studio in it.
Chelsea: Hold up! You did what?!
Photograph: Look you have 10 minutes then I’m out of here.
Claire : Go back on the stage Joanie, we have to get our money’s worth.
I waddled back to the set, pouting. Once I got there I couldn’t stay in place, I was shaking my legs to avoid peeing my pants.
Photograph: Could you stop doing that, please? It isn’t very aesthetically pleasing.
Joanne: I can’t I’m gonna piss myself.
Claire: Use the Pull-Up Joanie, nobody will know.
Joanne: I don’t want to!!
Chelsea: Just do it already, I am NOT wearing a diaper for nothing.
I looked over at the door. The group of zombie-fans was banging on it trying to get in. All the pressure built up inside me. I could feel it boiling up and then… I let go. I felt the warm stream escape me and my Pull-Up expanding. The front was turning to a light shade of yellow and I just stood there while the photograph was capturing the whole thing.
Seth Meyers : So get this… The new sensation, Joanie Bed Wetter… this is her actual brand name, appearing on the front page of Fashionista to promote her new clothing line ‘’Big Girl’’… wearing a [I]WET diaper. I just…
Laughter in the audience.
Seth: No it’s true, and I can’t believe this is a thing. You know it makes it so easy for us comedians. Her clothes are called ‘’Big Girl’’ and she just wet her Pull-Up… how is that a big girl move? It’s like Donald Trump wearing a ‘’Big Hands’’ T-shirt… Doesn’t make any sense. Right? Just because you’re wearing it doesn’t make it true.
Seth : Now controversy is stirring up and some say that was precisely the objective. Concerned mothers are asking Kimberly-Clark, the company representing the young woman if this is the message they’re trying to send… Is peeing yourself supposed to be a fashion statement now? If so, was Fergie a visionary?
Seth: As controversy rises up there is also tons of people in support of Joanie.
The ‘’March for Protection’’ last week showcased thousands of adults parading the streets in diapers, to show the world there shouldn’t be any stigma around incontinence. Recently, even Taylor Swift has come out to show support to Joanie, revealing she, too, has once struggled with bed wetting. Take a look.
[I]Taylor Swift: To see someone like her, you know, take action is… and you know it’s something I never thought I’d admit to be honest, but I used to be a heavy bed wetter myself! Oh yeah, well into my teens and… and still do sometimes, so this is really refreshing.
Seth: Wait minute, what?! I’m sorry did she just say ‘’and still do sometimes’’? Taylor Swift, 27 year old grown woman just admitted she wets the bed. I mean… nothing against her but… is that why she got dumped by so many boyfriends?
The audiences boos and laughs.
Seth: What? Can you imagine? John Mayer: ‘’Hum babe it’s like the third time you peed the bed… I mean Your Body is a Wonderland, but you can’t keep Waiting on the World to Change… your diaper.’’
Seth: Or, you know, Calvin Harris: ‘’Hey Taylor, I know you’ve been Drinking from the Bottle, but you gotta get your bladder Under Control cause… This [I]Isn’t What I Came For…’’
Seth: So, on behalf of all of Taylor Swift’s ex boyfriends, here’s a letter:
Dear Taylor, We Knew You Were Trouble when you walked in, but there’s things we just can’t Shake Off. It may have been a bit more normal when you were Fifteen, but these accidents did Begin Again and it feels like you’ll Never Grow Up.
We don’t want to be Mean and hope there’s no Bad Blood.
PS. We Are Never Ever Ever…. changing your diapers! [/I][/I][/I][/I][/I][/I][/I][/I][/I][/I][/I]
[I][I][I]That’s all, Goodnites everybody!
Crowd cheers and roars.
TV turns off.
Joanne: He makes me sick.
Claire : Yeah, he’s kind of a jerk, but at least he gets people talking about us.
Chelsea: Oh HE’S a jerk huh? What about you guys tricking me into appearing on the top cover of a magazine… in a DIAPER?!
Joanne: Stop being a baby Chel, you’ve always wanted to be a fashion icon.
Chelsea: Not a diapered icon! And who’s being a baby… you’re on the same cover… peeing in your Pull-Ups! How are you not mad at them? What’s next? You’re gonna make headlines sitting on a plastic potty? ‘’She’s a Big Kid Now!’’
Claire: That would certainly go viral…
Joanne: At this point everybody saw me in wet Pull-Ups online anyway… plus they gave me five thousand dollars.
Chelsea: That’s because they think it places limitations on your career! Who else would be that stupid?! You wouldn’t get paid that much if they thought it was doing you a favor! This whole thing is gonna backfire on you Joanne… It’s time to grow up now.
Joanne: My career? My ‘’career’’ was built on this. Your very job came from this Chelsea. I didn’t want that… but now you’re saying I shouldn’t take advantage of it? I know the hype won’t last, that’s why I need to bank on it while it passes. You were the first one to tell me I should exploit those ‘’dumb dumbs thinking it makes them a better person to wear diapers’’.
Chelsea: There’s a better way… it all started from a message of anti-bullying, which works… but now? Now it’s all about profit and controversy… it feels wrong. What will you do once it passes and everyone still knows you as the diaper-wearing chick? I’ve got a feeling you’re the one they’re taking advange of…. and I don’t want to be a part of it anymore.
Joanne: I’m sure I’ll still have my fans…
Chelsea: Your fans…? Right. Sure. I guess you’ll still have fans no matter what. I just hope you’ll still have friends, too.
She got out the door and left me alone with Claire who had been very quiet during our exchange. I didn’t understand why she was acting this way. I mean, sure I was kind of selling my credibility for money… but isn’t that what all famous people do?
Claire: Don’t listen to her honey. She’s jealous because you’ve got the spotlight and she doesn’t…. or she’s still mad at the diaper prank. Either way she’ll come around, you’ll see.
Joanne: I guess…
Claire: Now don’t you worry about that.
Joanne: I need to go out and get some fresh air.
I exited the studio… my room and went out for a walk around the block. It was 10PM on a Friday night and the local pubs were starting to fill up slowly with young folks my age. As I walked past a group of young punks, one of the girls kept looking at me.
Punk girl: Hey it’s nappy girl! Yeah! Joanie Bedwetter the diaper-wearing sensation! Are you lost love?
Punk boy: You’re right I thought I recognized her! Hey, you think she’s got a nappy on right now?
Punk girl: Must be. She’s a real pants-pisser that one! Ain’t you seen her online, parading around in Pull-Ups like a little girl?
I tried to ignore them as best as I could. I was getting used to hecklers now, the price of being famous. I couldn’t help but to realize they were right though, I was indeed wearing a pair of Pull-Ups under my skirt. They had become my regular underwear now. They were all I had, really.
Punk girl: D’you think we can make Joanie Bedwetter piss in her nappy?
Punk boy: Probably already has. You lost or something?
Punk girl: Why don’t you talk ? What, you think you better than us or something? You can’t even use the bathroom like an adult!
Punk boy: I say let’s find out if she needs a change… She rich isn’t she? See her on TV all the time… probably has money.
Punk girl: Aye, come here little girl.
As they followed me down the street she grabbed my arm. I gasped and pushed her away.
Punk boy: Let’s get her.
I started to run.