Go Girls!

Kirsty woke up. It was 10:00 AM, and the 16 year old girl was late for school. Great start to the week.
‘Mom!’ she yelled. ‘I’m late!’
Her mother came in. She wore a smart business blouse and a pinstripe diaper, which matched perfectly. ‘Well, I did tell you to go to bed last night instead of playing video games till 2AM’
‘Yes Mom, but I’m late!’
Once Kirsty got an idea in her head, it did not shift quickly.
‘Yes sweetie. Well, stop arguing with me and let me change your diaper. You’re soaked! Probably all the pop you drank last night.’
‘Yes Mom. Can I have the pink diaper today?’
‘No sweetie, the school uniform list says navy blue.’
'But Mom
‘It’s school rules love, not mine.’
Ten minutes later, Kirsty was running down the road to Plantor School. She had Physics first, and Mr Rasd didn’t like it when people were late. She’d had 6 detentions from him this month already, she didn’t want another.
She slid into her desk next to James, and gave him a quick smile. He blushed bright red. Kirsty was a very attractive girl, and the entire male half of her year (Not to mention some of the female half) were seriously interested in her. James was a slim boy with long brown hair, and quite attractive himself.
‘I told Mr Rasd you were talking to Miss Ash’ Miss Ash the school secretary was a force to be reckoned with, and even teachers were afraid of her. Mr Rasd was unlikely to speak to her unless he absolutely had to.
‘Thanks’
‘By the way, I think you could use a change’ James added, sniffing.
Kirsty slid a hand behind her and felt the back of her diaper. It was very full.
‘Do you want me to…’
‘Please’
James nodded. ‘Mr Rasd, do you mind if I go and change Kirsty?’
‘Be quick’ said the teacher, before returning to his subject.
The two teenagers walked quietly along the corridors until they reached the female bathroom. They walked in and Kirsty laid down on a changing table. James did the change quickly and efficiently-he’d done it many times before. In no time at all, they were returning to class.

Re: Go Girls!

Interesting premise. I like this alternate universe angle. Is everyone in diapers, or just the women?

Re: Go Girls!

Just the women. For the moment…

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‘Finally!’ exclaimed Mr Rasd as they got back to class. 'We’ve been waiting for you. Now let’s get started. Today, we’ll be learning about the human body. Firstly, who can tell me why only females wear diapers?
Up went a hand straight away. Candy Jones, the class geek.
‘Please sir, it’s because the female sphincter is weaker than the male and has more difficulty holding urine, so a long time ago a doctor said that it would be better for them to wear diapers than strain themselves holding it.’
‘Sexist pigs’ muttered Belle Dearheart, whose name caused a complete loss of sense of humor. Everyone knew that she was a raving feminist, who had rebelled against diapers her whole life. Many times, she had undone her diapers, and put on either training pants or absolutely nothing. As she was such a heavy wetter, either would cause a complete and utter mess as soon as she wet. Once, she had even pooped and made a mess of her seat. It had had to be destroyed.
‘We don’t need your opinion, thank you, Miss Dearheart. Simon, could you check her diaper please? She seems to be getting cranky.’
Simon cautiously slid a finger into her diaper.
‘She’s soaked and poopy, sir.’ he reported.
There was a Crack! Belle had slapped Simon right around the face.
‘Miss Dearheart!’ snapped the teacher. ‘Simon-’ But Simon had made a run for it. ‘Sam, take her outside and spank her. Then change her. Belle, one word of complaint and I’ll spank you and change you right here in front of everyone. Thank you. Now, who can tell me the name of the doctor?’

Re: Go Girls!

I don’t know if I like the idea of male students spanking, as well as diapering the girls. A friend trusting a male student to diaper her is one thing, but spankings are a bit much.

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Yeah, I wasn’t sure about that but a friend told me it was a good idea. I didn’t think so, but arguing with your girlfriend when she’s just wet is never a good idea…

Re: Go Girls!

Dude, these chapters are really short and bare. You need to to extend the length and detail.

Re: Go Girls!

I know…I just don’t get the time.

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"Please sir, me sir!"called Lizzie Berkshire, class swot. "It was Dr Jones sir, who graduated from Edinburgh University in 2056 and built the first diaper check and change machine in a lab at Dover docks. He later created the Disexreter diaper in the days when women were still self conscious about their diapers.

Apologies for extreme shortness but have exam in 5 mins. Keep wetting and hope you all had a nice. Christmas

Re: Go Girls!

Not only is this story degrading towards women, it’s also not a story. If you’re that busy then don’t even bother writing.

Re: Go Girls!

1st - Please format your lines with a line break between each paragraph. It is much easier to read.

2nd:

No comma needed here.

This is an incomplete sentence.

Use quotation marks, not apostrophes, when someone is being quoted. The first word in a sentence should be capitalized. It should read: “Mom!” She yelled. “I’m late!”

This is an incomplete sentence. Where did her mother come into? Perhaps: “Her mother came into her room.” or “Her mother came inside.”

Are you referring to the idea or Kirsty’s head? Is it possible that Kirsty has a psychological problem which manifests as neck immobility?

Again, incomplete sentence.

This story isn’t very long and these are the grammatical errors in just the first section. In general, try to post at least 1,500 words at a time because anything less is hard to comment on. I could comment on the content but I think everyone else pretty much covered that.

Re: Go Girls!

Technically it does. “It was” is the first thought, conjuncted by comma “and”, with “girl was” being the second thought.

Two complete thoughts in a single sentence should always be separated by punctuation, either a semicolon or a comma + conjunction (and, but, or)…

Re: Go Girls!

I wouldn’t have used a comma there. The rule is to know the rules so you know when to make exceptions. This is an exception. “It was 10:00 am.” “The 16 year old girl was late for school.” Both are two sentences that can be joined by a comma and a conjunction, but leaving the comma off is a better choice here.

Re: Go Girls!

I see your point WBDaddy. While I still like it with the comma out, and I’m glad for Write and Left’s support, you are technically accurate and I shouldn’t correct that which is not clearly in need of fixing. Doing so can create other errors so, as a general point, thank you for pointing out that the comma in question -is- supported by general grammatical rules. I retract that correction; the decision is better left to the author.

Re: Go Girls!

W&L does make a fair point, and yeah, at bare minimum it’s a style choice. There are plenty of more egregious errors in this document which can be highlighted… :slight_smile:

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While I don’t mind criticism, I do think 6 comments about one comma is slightly over the top. I realise that I am not perfect, but at least I have a vague grasp of spelling and don’t have such cruelty to the common comma as some other authors.

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There was one comment about your use of the comma, and then 5 discussing whether it was an error or a style choice. Don’t try to play martyr. It doesn’t become you.

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“One’s style is whatever one makes it”
(Don’t ask me who said it, but someone important did)

Re: Go Girls!

Quotation marks v. apostrophe is a style choice that varies between publishers, from my experience British publishers prefer to use apostrophes (since my copies of ‘Harry Potter’ and ‘The Lord of the Rings’ both use them). From a technical standpoint it doesn’t matter as long as you use the other for quotes within quotes:

eg. “Quote ‘quote within quote’ quote.” or ‘Quote “quote within quote” quote.’

It’s like parentheses/bracket distinction (Parentheses [bracket] parentheses) v. [Bracket (parentheses) bracket], although bracket distinction depends on the context of the parentheses/brackets rather than the region (footnotes [] v. additional information (), most commonly).

Re: Go Girls!

I usually consider myself aware of British and American differences but this one I did not know. The American Rule is clear that double quotes are correct but you are correct that the British Rule reverses this. Still bugs my eyes to see it but fair enough.