From Adult Hood to Baby Hood [Short][Fiction]

So I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Hallie. I’m 5’6 which makes me kinda small for my age which is only twenty one. Now ever since I was little I’ve been terribly shy of human contract due to bullying. So this all leads to a day I will never forget as long as I live as it was possibly the most humiliating thing of my Life.

One Saturday morning where I awake in my bed as Normal. That was till I am invited to a friends party. She assures me that it would just be a small gathering of friends for a sleep over. I honestly have no idea why I believed her but for some reason I now am very excited for the party. So much so I now go shopping for a new dress with my life long friend Sally. We met at the age of Five and instantly became friends. Because of my shyness I picked out the dress I wanted. It was a beautiful short red dress which from what Sally said really makes me look Amazing. So I picked it and Sally brought it with the money I gave her.

Once the dress was brought we traveled back to my apartment where I got ready for what would be a life changing event. The clock clicked onto “5:00pm”. I rushed out of the two room apartment forgetting that I was just about to go to the bathroom but was in to much of a frenzy to remember. That would be the beginning of my downfall. An hour passes and I finally reach the party. I should mention that the person who was driving me is a horrible driver and can not read a map very well which Is why it took an hour. I step out of the car and instantly hear music bursting from my friends house. Putting that aside I walk to the front door and knock. Honestly I’m surprised someone even heard me over the music.

The door opens which shows the friend that invited me Lauren Williams. She has a shocked expression as if he surprised to see me. “I’m sorry Hallie but the only reason I invited you to the party was because I wanted to be nice but thought you wouldn’t come” as the words came out of Lauren I felt betrayed but mainly ashamed that I’m that unliked that they would invite me but not want me to come. A rush of anger flows through my body which causes me to turn and storm off towards what should have been the car I came in hut was instead a black spot. “They left me, Well I did say don’t worry they are expecting me. I guess they thought it was ok to leave” came across my mind. I look over my shoulder to see the door which now is almost closed. Still angry I start to walk home still busting for the toilet. The pressure to Pee was that much that is was starting to hurt.

The cold wind brushes against my skin sending chills down my back. After walking for almost two hours and struggling to stop my self from peeing my Panties. The pressure was that much I didn’t notice the group of rough ladies that have a lot of tattoos who were now just behind me to the left. “Look at the little princess, Maybe she is lost girls. Being the kind citizens that we are we should help her” Is what I hear from one of the ladies. The words echo through my head causing me to freeze. The fear is that much the pressure in my bladder realizes without warning. Shocked I look down to see a puddle forming around my feet.

Unfortunately for me the group of ladies who were making there way to me also noticed the puddle and began to laugh. “Aw she isn’t a Princess but a whittle baby” can be heard coming from the “Leader” of the group. They surround me in a circle and begin to degrade my self confidence by calling me a Baby, Pantie Wetter and even a Big Baby girl. Tears rolling down my face I fall onto the path causing the bottom of my dress to get wet. What would come next still shakes me to this day. "I think we should put the whittle baby in Diapers instead of big girl underwear. One of the ladies starts to smile as she walks into a near by house. She is gone for almost Ten minutes before walking out with someone white in her right hand

Now humiliated and defeated I do not even attempt to fight being Diapered with what feels like a very thick and large diaper that has Barbie on the front of it. They pull me to my feet but then begin to shake there heads in disagreement. The leader says "We can’t have her walking about in a wet dress. Daisy go get a nice little baby shirt for our whittle baby. The girl now known as Daisy rushes off down the road and is gone for seems like an life time. While she is gone the group takes off my dress leaving me in just a Diaper. I can’t believe that I’m now standing on a foot path wearing just a diaper which allows anyone who walks past to see me like this. To my pleasure I see Daisy running back to the Leader handing her a Dora the Explorer t-shirt. I excitedly “as if it was the best thing in the world” put the shirt one covering what was my D-cup breasts. Confused I ask “Where is the pants?” This causes a laughter within the group causing a flash of reality “they’re going to make me walk home like this”. The bid me a good bye and push me alone my way. My Diaper exposed I slowly make my way the two blocks to my Apartment. Once reaching my destination to my horror I see Lauren who came to apologies for her action but instead see me wearing only a T-shirt and Diaper which after the two blocks is now very wet and Messy. She just looks at me and laughs.

No Longer am I a Twenty One year old adult who is in charge of a working bladder and bowel control but instead I am now just a Twenty One year old Baby who can not even tell when I am wetting or even messing my self. I also don’t live in my own apartment but instead live with my new Mummy Lauren. I hope you enjoyed my story

Re: From Adult Hood to Baby Hood [Short][Fiction]

This story has some definite grammatical issues. You seem to pointlessly capitalize random words, in the middle of a sentence (Life, Panties, etc.), misuse certain words (“human contract” should be “contact”, but I suppose that may have been a typo), and I don’t see a single comma anywhere throughout your work, even though there are many instances where one would be needed, such as before each “which” in your third sentence. With this in mind, every time you try to do something more than simple sentences, it reads as a rambling mess. There is no indication of separation between the thoughts, and it seems as though you’re saying it all in one breath.

Grammatical concerns aside, your story was interesting. The ending was somewhat abrupt, and the “group of rough ladies” quite literally came out of nowhere, but it was a good first try. Improve the grammatical errors I mentioned, and I’d love to read more from you.

Re: From Adult Hood to Baby Hood [Short][Fiction]

I agree that it’s a good first try. It’s riddled with clunky sentences and inconsistent pacing. The dialogue is often unnatural. The ending was rushed. Honestly, how did she wet and mess herself in just two blocks? And this happened off-screen, emotionally important moments like this should always be shown. All in all I think you have potential but you need to work on your grammar.

Some small things:

It should be 5’6", not 5’6. You forgot the “. Also, 5’6” is not short (it’s 2" above the average height for women in the U.S.).

You often use “friends” when it should be “friend’s”, as it’s possessive, not plural.

After walking for almost two hours and struggling to stop my self from peeing my Panties. The pressure was that much

Merge these sentences, the first sentence is an incomplete thought. It just ends abruptly.

pressure in my bladder realizes without warning

It should be releases.

Where is the pants?

“Where are the pants?”. “Pants” is plural.

Re: From Adult Hood to Baby Hood [Short][Fiction]

Thanks for the feedback and I will definitely work my Grammar for the next story :slight_smile:

Re: From Adult Hood to Baby Hood [Short][Fiction]

Lol lauren has the exact same name of a girl i hav a crush onXD