Friend's or Enemy's

_______________________________Friend’s and Enemies

Which is Which?


INTRODUCTION

This story takes place in a fantasy realm. I have made this land up myself it is a mixtures of places from different places from a couple of video games I have played, from role playing games like Dungeons and Dragons and also from a few different books I have read over the years. Many of the characters referred to in this introduction are from the writer R.A. Salvatore’s books. After that point I have used to bring my character’s to life.

The only main difference to this story it is set in the present time.


A little background info on the main Character

As a Dark Elf or other wise know by some as a “Dumner or a " Drow Elf”. Fritz had already reached his 75 year of life and was still considered a teenager for his race, most of his family had lived for over 225 years, during these times the there had been a lot of changes in the way his race was treated.

At one point all other races stay clear of his race, his race for nearly 4000 years had followed the Spider Queen and her evil ways. That had been up until about 125 years ago. When Dritz a extended family member of his had left the clan and became a hunter. Over his life time he had fought against the Queen and her followers and showed the realm that there was good in every race and person.

During Dritz’s travels and adventures he had married a Cattie-brie a human that had been raised by Bruenor a dwarf. Dritz’s and Bruenor had travel together on most of there adventures. Dritz’s married Cattie-brie after husband Wulfgar had been killed in the underworld of Dritz’s homeland, during one of there adventures.

Fritz had grown up over the years with the expectation that he would be like his uncle was to his realm. This was until shortly after his 50th year of life. He had a magical spell go wrong and he was injured and was no longer able to go out adventuring like most others would. Fritz had finally been able to find a Mage that would finish his training for him.

So I hope everybody enjoys something a little bit different than the normal.

Chapter ONE

Fritz had been wondering though the wound and hills at the base of The spine of the World, for almost three days now. His instructor Arch-Mage Dragen had told him to go out and find three plants to uses for his newest alchemy studies. Dragen had told him that he would need to find Nimble root, Foxglow nectar and Morning Glory seeds. To be able to start on his next elixir for his studies.

Fritz had been studying alchemy, illusion, conjuration and Destruction types of magic for most of his young life. He had already mastered his studies in his favored sword that he used a katanna. He also was a dead shoot with his long bow. Both of these weapons had been passed down though his family over the years, they both had magical abilities cast in to them thousands of years ago. He also had learn to use firearms but was never very good with these, he preferred to do thing the old ways more than to use the easier way. Fritz main problem was he did not like to get into a position where he had to fight his way out, he would prefer to talk his way out or use his magical abilities.

Fritz had been able to find two of the ingredients need easily, but he had been have a hard time finding the Nimble root. He had been searching everywhere that he knew to. He was become extremely exhausted from using his magical abilities for a long length of time. Fritz was about to give up when he finial came across what he had been looking for. There was three rather large Nimble root plants. He started to carefully harvest the parts that he need to take back to Dragen. Once he had completed his harvesting he prepared to head back to Dragen’s home, after going down the trail for about two hours. Fritz realized he would not make it there before night fall. So he was going to have to make camp for the third night. Even though he could use his magical abilities to return to Dragen’s home at anytime. Fritz had learned over the years, since Fritz had been injured, he had enjoyed his time he got alone in the woods. He was able to think more clearly and deal with his short comings a to better when he was out in the woods or alone.

After he had set his camp he pulled out his journal and wrote in it for a short time, he recapped his routes and his findings for the day. He then started to get ready for bed. As a normal for him the last thing he did was put on a cloth diaper before he laid down. The only major side effect of his injury from his youth now was that he had no control of his bladder when he was sleeping, if it was not for a small spell he casts every morning when he woke up he would have to wear these diapers all the time. But for some reason he has not found away to control the spell while he is sleeping as of yet. The only other side effect for the accident that bothers him is he walks with a mild limp in his left leg. After he was finished he cast a couple protection spells over his small tent and laid down for the evening.

Around 5 o’clock in the morning he heard someone or something outside of his tent. He carefully pulled his sword out of it’s sheaf and slipped over to the opening on the tent. He then cast a globe of invisibility around himself. He slowly stuck his head out the tents opening and looked around. There was there men dressed in heavy banded leather armor carrying long swords. Fritz then prepared to cast his most powerful spell that he knew a chain lighting spell.
He wait a few seconds then started to cast the spell.

“Fritz wait its Caltire and Drinzen.” one of them called out. Fritz carefully stopped the spell.
“What are you two doing out her in the middle of the night and move slowly towards the tent please.” he replied to them.
“Dragen sent us looking for you when you did not return last night.” Caltire replied, as the walked to within a few feet of the tent.
“I see. I almost light the two of you up.” he replied.
“Please dispel your globe, so we can talk more easily.” he replied. Fritz dispelled all of his spells and stood up in the tents entrance.
“Well as you can see I am just fine. You can let Dragen know I will be back later this afternoon. I have a couple of personal things to take care of on the way back to his place…” he told them.
“Very well then, We can see that you are safe and sound. We will tell him that you will be back before night fall.” they replied as they turn around and headed away in to the woods.

Fritz returned to his tent and cast his spell of control over himself. He then removed his diaper from the night before and gathered his things. Once he was finished he packed his small camp up and prepared to head towards town.

Fritz walked a few more hours and had reached the edge of a small town of Burkesville Passage, which is located at the base of a small mountain passage, the passage that lead to his small village about 6 hours away. He headed into town and went straight to the mages guild in the northeast corner of the village. Once he was there he went searching for Artiblo. He was the head of the guild and a close friend of his. He found him sitting in his personal study reading over a something.
“Hey there old friend how are you making out this wonderful spring day.” Artiblo asked him as he walked into the room.
“Had better days, Had worse days. But I think things are looking up in the mountains today.” he replied.
“I don’t have much time to talk today. I have a important meeting in Cyrillic this afternoon.” he told him.
“Something going on at with mages counsel?” he asked.
“Yes there is two new openings and I am trying to get one of them.” he was told.
“Well best of luck and I will talk with you later, I am going to use the library for a while then maybe work on a new spell or two. I will be about 3 or four hours I guess.” he told him
“Be careful and I will check on you before I leave.” he told him.
“Ok, then.” Fritz told him. He left the room and headed to the mages library down the hall.
Once he was in the library he pulled out three books and sat down to read them, taking notes along the way. After about four hours of studying he was starting to get a little tired. So he got up and put the books away and headed out.

He then stated walking up the passage towards his small village.

Please give your commits

Ev erybody please give your commits on this story. I have a chapter almost ready to go if everybody enjoys the start of this one.

Friend’s or Enemy’s

I can’t really get into these type of fantasy storys with diapers mixed with each other. I did like your last story and I commented on that. Like I said in that one I don’t give many storys much of a shot anymore but I could never get into these types.

I guess its just to odd to have it be so fantasy driven then have something like diapers from our world thrown in.

Friend’s or Enemy’s

I found the story interesting and I would like to see more of it. :stuck_out_tongue:

Friend’s or Enemy’s

You need to work on your grammar and definitely on your consistency of tense. Furthermore, you often just chuck in the wrong word (‘there’ and ‘their’ etc).

That said, it’s good to see you trying for an interesting premise to your story.

I think you may like Alleria - a fun little online RPG (text based) which would also be really good for your writing, practice wise.

Friend’s or Enemy’s

Thanks Nemo, I will check it out. I will also work on my grammer a little bit more.
Doyou know of a better writting program than Microsoft word, since that is all my computer hads on it. That will help with the grammer and other things a little bit better.

Friend’s or Enemy’s

It’s certainly up there amongst the best…

Friend’s or Enemy’s

Right off the bat, your title should be “Friends or Enemies.” and the apostrophies need to get outta there. I’m usually not the grammar police, but a miswritten title usually deters me from even giving the story a chance.

Friend’s or Enemy’s

The title will makes more sence later on, trust me. There will be both in this story and some will be both. Hard to explain but you will see.

As far as quotes how else do you mark what a person is saying.

Maybe I am wrong, english and grammer are not my best subjects

Re: Friend’s or Enemy’s

It doesn’t appear to be an issue of the title making sense that seventyeyes has an issue with. Rather, the problem is that your use of apostrophes makes the title possessive, while you probably meant to make the title plural. Evidence of this is further given by the title at the top of your post:

Interestingly enough, this doesn’t match the topic title of “Friend’s or Enemy’s.”

In the quoted portion, you used enemies correctly, although “friend’s” is still wrong. An s on its own generally means that you have more than one of something, and an s with an apostrophe before it generally means something belongs to that something. For example:

[list=1]

  • My friends wanted to meet me for lunch.

  • [i]My friend[b]'s[/b] lunch was cold.[/i][/list:o] In the first sentence, we're referring to more than one friend, so we use an [i]s[/i] without an apostrophe. In the second sentence, you're referring to something that belongs to a single friend, so you use an apostrophe.

    Since it wouldn’t appear in your title that you’re referring to something belonging to a friend or an enemy, you shouldn’t be using apostrophes in your title, and seventyeyes’ suggestion is correct.

    Of course, if you were referring to something belonging to a friend or enemy, your title would somewhat work, although it would still leave us hanging. I’d be wondering, “A friend’s what or an enemy’s what?”

    [hr][/hr]Grammar and spelling issues aside, I’ve got mixed reactions to the story’s content. A fantasy story is absolutely fine with me, but I also somewhat agree with Fire/Wesker/Fowl’s assessment that suddenly coming across the diapers was a bit jarring in this fantasy setting.

    I still think it could work, but you’re going to have to be a lot more careful about introducing the diapers. Do we actually need to know about them in the first chapter? Could you simply show us that he was nervous when others approached him when he’d been awakened and still nervous once he found out they weren’t enemies, and let us figure it out as we go along, only explicitly mentioning the diapers later once we’ve become comfortable with the character?

    That really brings me to the main point of my critique in that I think you introduced everything a bit fast. Although I’ll admit that the background information on the character is useful, particularly since he resides in a fantasy world that we’re not familiar with, I would have much preferred to find out this information as the story went along, rather than just having it shoved down my throat at the beginning. Introduce us to the universe in this manner, but leave the character exposition to the story.

    Admittedly, whether this is feasible will depend on how long you intend on making this story, but it’s simply a suggestion that I feel would help.

    [hr][/hr]Also, out of curiosity, what version of Word are you using? Are you actually running the spelling and grammar check, or are you just relying on the wavy red, green, and blue underlines? I ask because many of the mistakes you made should have been caught by a recent version of Word.

  • Friend’s or Enemy’s

    The version of Word that comes wit Windows Vista home premium. It was on my compter when I got it. I am not sure how to adjust the setting but will look at it again.

    As far as the info at the begining I figured it was better to put it there sence I was using a someone elses story line and characters to make my story. Even though none will be in my story it self.

    I will try to rewrite part of the first chapter and fix a few of these little thinks thanks to all. I have not been able to do much writting the last week or so.