First story, Searching for truth (Tenative title)

Untitled Story

This is the first story I have ever written down. A good portion of it is
actually true, up until about the fourth chapter. There it kind of takes a
turn into what I kind of wished would have happened. After I started to remember these events I realized the "girl in question may have become an AB, so the names have been changed to protect the innocent. Any comments would be appreciated. If she does happen to read this story I would love to hear from her…

A fairly young man in his mid twenties sat at his desk in the middle of the night. He was looking through some old of photos that had been in a box in his basement for some time. One photo in particular reminded him of a night that had a profound effect on his life. Two boys of nine and one 5-year-old girl posing in a photograph hold power ranger weapons. While he looked over these reminders of the past he though back to that day.
It was a warm summer day in the middle of 90s. A young boy named Robert was visiting his grandma in a small town about twenty miles south of where he lived. His grandma Helen babysat for two kids. Over the years Rob became friends with the two kids Daniel was nine same as Rob, and Katrina was five. Rob would always call them Dan and Trini.
The three kids spent all day playing together. They pretended to be Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, and Power Rangers and ….the opposite of Power Rangers. Anything three children with active imaginations could come up with they did.
Around 6 pm. Rob’s stepmother Nancy came to pick him up.

“Can Rob spend the night?” Dan asked enthusiastically. “Me and Katrina were going to camp out in the back yard in our tent,” he added

“That’s up to your mom,” Nancy replied. “I think Rob’s dad and I could use a night out though.”

“Sure it’s fine with me,” said Louise. Louise was Dan and Trini’s mom.

Robert didn’t know a whole lot about her, but it seemed like her mood changed frequently. Some days when she got home she would be the nicest woman around. Other days she was mean to just about everybody. Today it seemed like she was having a good day so Rob was excited to stay.
His step mom went back to his grandmothers’ house to pick up some clothes for tomorrow, and pajamas for that night. The three of them sat in front of the campfire in the back yard cooking hot dogs and s’mores. Eventually it got late and it was time to go to bed.
Rob went into the house to change into his pajamas. He normally didn’t really wear pajamas and slept in his underwear, but since he was sleeping with two other people in a tent his step mom decided he should sleep in sweat pants and a t-shirt.

“Oops,” he said as he peed on the toilet seat and a little on the wall. He cleaned it up as best he could and left to go outside. As he was going through the hall he passed Louise.

“Katrina! Bath time,” she said.

As Rob walked by her he noticed she was carrying Trini’s pajamas. One thing stuck out to him though. It was a pink rectangle that seemed to be made of plastic.
“Is she going to put Trini in a diaper?” he thought to himself.

First story, Searching for truth (Tenative title)

I get the feeling that perhaps chapters 1-4 ought to be combined into chapter 1 and then it wouldn’t be a fragment.

First story, Searching for truth (Tenative title)

If this story were any thinner, it’d start hanging out with Nicole Ritchie.

First story, Searching for truth (Tenative title)

It is a bit short for a single chapter, particularly an opening one- even if there is a teaser or cliffhanger at the end (and given that it’s an ABDL story, it was almost inevitable and not at all hard to see coming).

I want to read more, but I do think the chapters need to be longer.

First story, Searching for truth (Tenative title)

Or hiding behind her.

First story, Searching for truth (Tenative title)

I have to agree with Anise that your chapter could be a tad bit longer. Other than that it is a decent start. I will be interested in reading what else you have written