“Wake up, baby boy,” my mommy said as she gently nudged me awake.
Instantly a smile rose to my face. Baby boy. It wasn’t often that she gave me a day as a baby, usually once every couple months, but always it was a surprise. You see my wife, Ellie, has never been into the whole adult baby thing, but because she knew that it was a part of me, she would oblige whenever she felt that she could.
“Hewwo, Mommy,” I said. We both know that my voice isn’t as babyish as our two kids, but it would have to do.
“How did mommy’s baby boy sleep,” she cooed and brushed the hair out of my eyes.
“Otay,” I said.
Her eyes became wide as she pulled back the sheets, “Oh no, baby boy!”
“What, Mommy, what!?”
“My baby boy isn’t wearing a diaper,” she said and slapped my bottom, “You are gonna make a mess if we aren’t careful. Come here,” she said and held out her hand, “someone needs a change.”
Mommy and I walked down the stairs to where she had set up my changing supplies. She led my by the hand to lay down onto the diaper then slid off my underwear. After powder, and a gentle rub in, Mommy taped up the diaper and kissed me on the lips.
“So, baby,” she said and she snapped my animal print onesie, “Wyatt and Gale are at Miss Turning’s house for the day, and I thought that would give me and my baby time to go out for the day.”
“Go out?” I asked.
“Well, of course we’re going out,” she said as she pulled up my shorts. “We are going to the carnival. Mommy’s already packed the diaper bag and all your toys and wipes, and we are going to have the best day ever.” I grinned the biggest girn I could muster as she slid a too-small shirt over my head. “Come on, we’ll get breakfast on the road.”
My mommy opened the back door of the car and helped me inside. After buckling me in she whispered, “Close your eyes and pucker your lips.” I did, expecting a nice kiss on my lips. Instead my binky was slid in between my lips and I was patted on the head. I opened my eyes and smiled. Not a bad trade off.
Burger King was our fast food breakfast of choice forty-five minutes later. “Are you excited, sweetie?” she asked we sat in the drive-thru as she poured my orange juice into a sippy cup. The drive thru attendant came back and to hand us our food. She looked at the sippy cup then in the back seat, expecting to see a small toddler. Her mouth fell open as instead she saw a grown man with a pacifier. My face turned beet red. “Thank you,” Mommy told her and drove off. She turned back and handed my my food and drink, noticing how I was keep my head down. “Oh is my little boy embarrassed?” she asked.
“Well he has nothing to be embarrassed about,” she said, then with a wicked grin said, “Unless,” she grabbed the crotch of my diaper and squeezed. “Oh, baby boy can’t keep dry for ten minutes, can he?” she said. “Maybe I should change him inside? Maybe I should ask the nice lady at the drive thru?”
She was bluffing. It was sweet of her, knowing how much I like to fantasize about being publicly-
Mommy reached up and knocked on the window. The same lady answered. I froze, binky hanging on my bottom lip. The woman opened the window, “Is there a problem, Miss?”
“No, well maybe,” Mommy told her, “Do you have a changing table in there, my little boy is just SO WET,” she said with a devious smile.
The attendant was frozen, unsure of what to say, “I… don’t think so.”
“No?” Mommy said, “Well, that’s just as well, he’ll probably be stinky soon anyways.”
As we drove away, Mommy burst out laughing. “Ellie!” I exclaimed, “how- why- she might’ve known us!”
“She did not,” Mommy said, “besides that’s how I would talk about any baby boy, and you are my baby boy, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” I said, still in shock.
I scarfed down the food and drank out of my sippy cup until it was gone. Cars passed us on the side, each time I ducked my head a little. Mommy looked back at me in her rear-view mirror, “Baby boy, you are not ashamed of being little are you? Babies aren’t ashamed of anything. So here’s the deal, if you act like a baby, unashamedly then we will have a good day. But if you try to hide the fact that you are a little stinker, then I will have to help you learn not to be so ashamed. Understand?”
“I think so, Mommy,” I said.
“Good, now as your first lesson of not being embarrassed, you are going to put your binky in your mouth and wave at people as they drive past. You can’t stop until, three people wave back.”
“Mommy-” I whined.
“Five people,” she said, “do I need to make it ten? Because if you don’t, I am going to turn this car around and go home. Because if you’re not a baby, well then you are just a grown man in a diaper, and I don’t want to be with a man in a diaper. I will, however,” she said and reached back and squeezed my wet crotch, “love to be a mommy to a baby. So what is it going to be.”
It took ten minutes to get all five waves.
As we drove, Mommy turned on The Wiggles and we sang along. The grease from the sandwich and hashbrowns were starting to get to me. Part of me wondered how far she was going to take this “Baby’s Day Out” thing, whether or not I’d have to make a-
“We’re here,” Mommy said as we pulled into a carnival. Dust kicked up around us as we parked in the fairground parking lot. I started to unbuckle my seatbelt as she turned back an slapped my hand, “what did mommy say about unbuckling yourself.”
“Sawry,” I said.
“Uh huh,” she said and smiled, “Hand Mommy your binky o she can put it in her purse, unless you want to keep it in.”
I handed her my pacifier and waited for her to come get me out.
As we walked inside, Mommy bought us wristbands and told me to tell the man “thank you”.
“Thanks,” I said as we walked away. A firm spank landed on my bottom as we walked.
“Baby!” Mommy said, “That sounded like a grown up word.”
“Sawry,” I said.
“Fine, but that’s your last ‘sawry’” she said, "Now let’s go ride some rides.
First up was the tilt-a-whirl, then the tea cups, then the octopus. My tummy was grateful when mommy said she wanted to take a break to go play the games. As we walked through the midway, mommy asked if I wanted to try to win a stuffed animal. So, Mommy and I catapulted frogs until I won a bear. It was at this time that I knew my problem wasn’t going to make it much longer.
“Hey, Mommy,” I said quietly, “I… have… to…”
She smiled, “And?”
“I don’t wanna do it out here-” before I could finish, Mommy reached inside her purse and took out my binky then shoved it between my lips. When I tried to take it out, she slapped my hand, hard.
“You are my baby,” she said, “So, you have one of two options, you can either walk around with the binky in your mouth and ask strangers to take you potty, or you can follow me and we can go get some lunch.”
“I’ll go with you,” I said and tried to take the binky out.
“No,” she said, “that stays in until we sit down.”
We walked quickly over to the picnic table and sat down, where I was told I could put away the binky. “Alright,” Mommy said, “let’s go order some food.” Mommy and I got in a long line and waited until it was our turn to order. My tummy began rumbling as I stood, I knew it wouldn’t be long before I couldn’t hold it anymore. To make matters worse, Mommy reached down and grabbed my thoroughly soaked diaper and exclaimed, “What a wet little boy you are!”
As we approached the front of the line, Mommy stepped up and ordered her food, “Now tell the lady what you would want sweethart.”
“Ok,” I said and looked up at the menu, “I’d like a philly-”
“Can you excuse us,” Mommy said and pulled my by my arm out of line. She shoved the binky in my mouth and pushed me over the table. As I bent she began to spank me. I felt my face become hot. “Now (whap) what are (whap) you?!”
“And (whap) Who (whap) am I?”
She bent down over the table and whispered in my ear, “Now what do babies do?”
“I don’t know?”
“They tawlk wike babies?”
“Good job,” she said, “What Else?”
“Dey get fed by mommies?”
“Uh huh, and what do they do in their diapers?”
“They pee pee.”
“Poopie,” I said with a tear streaming down my face.
“Very good,” she said calmly, “Now, be a baby.”
I stood up. Everyone was watching. I looked over at Mommy, who just nodded. I squatted down and pushed. The warm, wet, sticky, smelly mess pushed out into my diaper. Filling my backside and making its wet way under my legs to the front. Disgusted and shocked faces watched me. “Now,” Mommy said, “go tell the nice lady what you want.”
"I stood up and with my binky in my mouth and a load in my diaper waddled back to the front of the line. “Me wan phillwy,” I said.
“Ok,” the shocked young lady said.
We sat down with our food a few moments later. The smell of my diaper permeated the air. “Whew,” Mommy said, “You are a stinky, little guy, aren’t you. You went poopy for mamy like a little baby. And all those people saw you. And smelled you. They probably think you’re an icky baby, but Mommy knows better. Mommy knows that while you are a stinky dirty boy, you are the sweetest little boy in the world. And I love you.”
“I wuv you too, Mommy.”
We finished eating and walked toward the fun-house. After waiting in line, with whispers from kids behind us about how they thought I was wearing diapers, we made it to the front. My mommy slipped the man some money and whispered something in his ear. After we walked inside, I heard him say, “Sorry guys, the fun house is closed for repair. I had a sneaking suspicion that it wasn’t. As we walking through, we experienced the fun house as mommy and baby. Pushing through the punching bag things, climbing the ropes and finally making our way down the slide, squishing the already considerable mess up the front of my diaper.
We landed in the hall of mirrors, where my mommy took me by the hand and laid me down. “My big baby boy needs a diaper change… bad.” She smiled and undid my shorts then unsnapped my onesie. “Oh, yucky, someone is a stinky, dirty, baby. Mommy says ‘yucky’” She wrinkled her nose and unsnapped the sides of my diaper. She peeled it back and the scent of poopie rose in the air. “Oh My God, this is ucky, tinky tinky,” she said using the front of the diaper to take off the majority of the mess.
“That girl at the counter,” she said and wiped me with wet ones, “she was talking to her friend and said she’d like a baby one ay, but she didn’t know how poopy and stinky they could be. Or how cute. All those people watched you stinky with a binky in your mouth and thought, 'what a little, yucky baby, he sure needs a change.”
As she talked two college girls appeared from around the corner, giggling. When they saw us they froze, “Oh, uh, sorry.”
“Oh My God,” the other one said. They ran around the corner snickering, their voices echoed, “Did you see that guy?”
“I think you mean baby, did you see the pacificer.”
“OMG he had a poopy diaper!”
“And a onesie”
“And a dirty diaper, could you smell it?”
I still can,” she said.
My mommy wiped me up again as a tear came to my eye, “don’t worry baby,” Mommy said wiping me up, "I love you."She winked, “And your little tushie.”