Fapfiction - Reality Warp Greentext Comedy

>Wake up from a comfy nap.
>In the middle of class.
“Welcome back Mister Anon.” The teacher says.
>Unlike if another student had been caught sleeping, it wasn’t sarcastic or malicious.
>It had a nice lilt to it, very nice to wake up to.
>I stretch and yawn, pacifier falling out.
>That’s why it’s on a clip strap.
>Student behind me taps my shoulder, I turn.
“You need a change, fyi.” She whispers.
>I just stand up in class to waddle out the door, “Poopy!”
>No one bats an eye, teacher keeps talking about either literary themes or economic trends, or maybe physics word problems.
>Either way, into the hall. I sometimes wonder if my fabric booties are the best choice for these floors, but their sole is a thicker textured plastic, so it’s not like they don’t grip.
>Almost get to the nurse’s office. Something feels wrong.
>Empty mouth! Figured that out without help. Someone should have been here to see how awesome I am. Pop the pacifier back in.
>Walk into the Nurses’s office.
“Oh hi Nonny. Walked all on your own? What a big boy!”
>“Oh, sowwy, me no big.”
>Everyone likes me more when I act helpless, it’s weird that I don’t see other students look more like me.
>Nurse grabs my bottom to squeeze, then looks down the waistband to be sure.
“Up on the table Nonny, got a stinky to clean.”
>Once again, that lilting tone that adults only use for me and none of my peers.
>Hoist myself up onto the table, sitting squarely in the mess everyone apparently said I had.
>Lay down and grab the back of my knees, the one way adults let me be helpful with my changes.
>Like a thousand changes before, and probably the next few hundred, she cleans me up, rubs oil, jerks me off, dusts with powder, and tapes a new diaper on.
>Its weird, I don’t see other students wearing diapers, I mean, I would never dream of covering mine up, how would others check them then.
>But I never seen anyone else in them…
“Nonny needs a hand-holder.” The nurse says into a phone.
>Probably with the classroom I just left. Maybe it was a biology class? Reading might have helped me know the differences between all these classes.
>Its not like anyone really can read though, they just make up what the squiggles say. I only need to hand in scribbled crayon to get my gold stars.
>My classmates all stress over ‘grades’ and ‘scores’, I can’t help but laugh at how easy it all is.
>Wait in the office for a girl to show up. She holds my hand so we can walk back to class.
“Nonny, can I ask you something?”
>“Gee blah bah!” I say with a clap.
“You know how you’re 16, still breastfeeding, still in diapers, and get handjobs and blowjobs like they’re handshakes?”
>That does sound nice, I rub her hand on my diaper to ask for a handjob.
"No baby. That’s just it. Doesn’t this all feel wrong and depraved?
>I’m not getting rubbed, it’s really upsetting. I fall down on my super fluffy behind and openly wail in the hall.
“Oh no…shh shh!” She says, kneeling down to my level.
>She hurriedly unbuttoned her blouse, shoving my face to her breast.
>I am instantly silenced, more happily suckling away.
“See, this isn’t right!”
>Her hand is still going down to my diaper to rub me though, feels right to me.
>I moan, satisfied again.
“The closer I am to you the more I feel like I’m in a bad fap-fiction.”
>“Mama!” I blurt the word that works as ‘Thanks/now/hungry/boobies’ knowing she’ll understand what I meant.
“Let’s just get back to class, one of us has to actually work for a living.”
>‘Pplbbbrt’ my paci pops out as I blow a raspberry, to appropriately express my disdain for the subject at hand.

>Be Femnon
>Be two days ago
>Notice something weird with Anon.
>His pants are bulky, and not in a good way.
>From across the cafeteria watch his mom visit, she flirts with his friends before popping a tit out.
>Watch Anon, no shame, latch onto his mother.
>OMG is he breastfeeding!?
>Why is no one freaking out about this?
>She’s just patting his head out on the open!
>I would kill for a chance like that!
>I mean, that’s disgusting and I have no idea what abdl is.
>But seriously he is getting no flak or ridicule.
“Aww, look how cute he is…”
>Girlfriend points the group’s attention to Anon.
>They approve!?
“Isn’t he too old to do that?” I ask.
“Anon can’t handle solids yet, it’s not his fault.”
“He only started walking last year, why are you trying stunt his growth?”
“Next thing you know she’ll expect him read.”
“Oh of course not, ha ha, just a bad joke.” I try to save face.
>Girlfriends give a laugh, not sure if just pity.
>Why is Anon living the life I only dreamed of in secret?
>Stare daggers at my lunch tray, cheeks hot with blush, as I can just feel Anon getting burped over his mother’s shoulder.
>Bell rings, classtime, run the fuck out of there.
>Find respite at my locker, wait.
>Corner of my eye.
>See Anon holding hands with Jessica as they walk to class.
“Rub me.” He says and stands still.
>She actually stops, grinds on his hip, and rubs the front of his diaper.
>This dumb look goes across his face as he moans in the hall.
>Everyone can hear/see them!
>And don’t react.
>Its like the most normal thing in the world.
“Oahh-” He moans with an obvious climax.
>Jessica smiles and pats his head, and continues walking him to class.
>I shut my locker harder than I meant to.
“Miss Femnon. Is there a problem with your locker door?” My English teacher asks.
“Uh, no, sorry ma’am.”
“Be more aware of yourself, you’re a young adult, not some ill-manner toddler.”
“Yes ma’am. Sorry, excuse me.”
>Run to the bathroom
>Lock the stall
>Piece and Quiet to collect myself.
>Sit on the lid, hand idly tracing the grooves of the changing station.
>Why is there a changing station!?
>Last week Anon was cute, athletic, actually really smart.
>Now no one can see him as anything but a walking baby that needs to be jerked off!
>Hell I had a dream of HIM rubbing ME off in a diaper during a pep rally…
>Warning bell rings, I have to get to class.
>With Anon…

>How can anyone shut out his gleeful burbles over his crayon scribbles?
>Just how carefree and and happy he is…
>No, no jealous thoughts, focus. Focus.
“And the mitochondria is the powerhouse-”
>Anon just shouted that!? And nobody is grossed out?
>Why is every girl raising their hand?
“Yes, Rebecca, escort Nonny to the nurse.”
>She stands up all bubbly and proud, hand going right out to lead Anon out.
>His bottom is clearly browned as he waddles past me. In those damn booties.
>I wonder how they feel to walk in, toes free, roomy, no laces constricting, no heel changing how you walk.
“And that’s how each organelle gets energy. A.T.P.”
>Right, class, passing, surpassing, honor roll.
>Just buckle down, freedom comes later.
>Work hard, graduate, work to get into a good college, work harder, bachelor’s, bust my ass to prove I’m worth hiring at a good firm, knuckle down, bite the strap, work hardest, then I get my weekend fantasies and vacation holidays where I can finally be taken care of.
>By a tall chiseled man with forearms like a smuggled python…
“Femnon! Could you tell us how cytoplasm somehow knows to stay in the cell and not leak out where the nutrients flow in?”
“Semi-permiable membrane!” I blurt, hoping no one noticed I was biting my lip.
>Anon can show his emotions! No one seems to care. I know I’ll be judged and mocked viciously.
“Blowie blowie!”
>Speak of the damn devil.
>He has that goofy smile and nuzzled to Rebecca’s shoulder.
>She’s wiping her mouth.
“Yes Nonny, blowie was fun, time to sit down though.” She says, guiding him back to his seat.
>He gropes her one last time and sits down. Yawns and lays his head on his desk.
>And just like that he goes out like a light.
“-And that’s why the endoplasmic reticulum is shaped that way.”
>God half of us could sleep, but no, we’re young adults and that’s just not how we can behave.
>Except inexplicably Anon, who can just shit himself and demand blowjobs.
>Why is the clock so sloooow?
>A million hours later the bell finally rings.
>Anon wakes up and of course fusses and borderline cries.
>Brendan, sitting next to Anon, gets a pacifier out of no where and pops it in Anon’s mouth.
>Instantly calms, whine replaced with a maybe more obnoxious sucking.
“There you go Champ, let’s head to our next class.”
>Brendan picks up both bags and holds Anon’s hand to walk him out.
>Did Brendan kiss Anon’s head?
>No, must have just whispered something, or some other thing that’s more reasonable.
>Don’t see Anon for the rest of the day, small mercy.
>Now I’m leaving my locker to get to the parking lot.
>Stop dead still.
>Anon is getting pushed in a massive stroller, girls fawning over him. Getting selfies with the ‘Cute Wittle Baybee’.
>He’s getting cheek pinches and kisses and a hand or two is groping the front of his diaper.
>Open diaper check or open offer for a handjob?
>A dozen necklines are pulled down along with various bras, sport, padded, training…
>He grabs one at random and the girl attached leans in, looking smug at the others as he just, starts sucking.
>Turn my head down, stomp without meaning to right past the insanity.
“Aww he likes you!” I blurt to my surprise.
“Maybe his mommy will finally let me sit for him…” she says wistfully.
“Oh you know he’s all hers, I hear they still share a bed so he won’t be too far from milkies.”
>Why am I saying this fap-fiction tripe!?
>Get my senses and power walk away.

>Be Femnon finally home.
>Get on my laptop
>Click the bookmark folder ‘homework’ to re-read my favorite smut.
>‘My summer forced as a baby’, ‘Daddy’s doll’, ‘Abdalia-A world history’
>Abdalia! The world that babies people until they’re 30 and lots stay forever diapered.
>Mommies commonly breastfeed up to age 20.
>Nothing makes biological sense, the MC has interrupted his exposition three times for a messy diaper change.
>Seriously, why do authors think people are constant shit cannons?
“I knew it!” I say to myself.
>Found the bad fap-fic Anon is living.
>But how did it happen? Why him? Why couldn’t it have been me getting stroller rides and cheek pinches?
>Not a fan of messy accidents, but…Anon seems super okay with them.
>He’s never not pooped himself, of course he’s fine with it.
>At least from everyone’s point of view besides mine.
>One mystery sort of solved, that’s enough entertaining insanity indulged for one evening.
>Sleep, wake up, shit, shower, shave, dress up, make up.
>Drive to school.
>God damn it, Anon is with his mommy- er mom- on one of the benches, breastfeeding while surrounded with girls wanting pictures.
>At least he’s wearing shortalls to cover up.
>Nevermind, its shortall-skirt-thing, do those have a special name?
>Whatever, it would look better on me than on him, and I hate him for it.
>Just right past, just walk right past, just walk-
“FEMNON!” Anon’s mommy says happily.
>Why can’t I look away.
“Can you do me a favor and check Nonny’s diapee? After his last spurt I can’t reach it like I used to.”
“Of course!” I blurt, excited to help such a cutie.
>The crowd parts and get right up to Anon, on his hands and knees on the bench, suckling away, wiggling his diapered bottom under the denim skirt.
>I reach up and under to squeeze the front. I can feel his massive dick outline.
>Holy shit
>Its damp, I proceed to be thorough and flip his skirt up and pull the waistband back to look down the back.
>Not messy, plenty of unused padding.
“A little damp, nothing to worry about yet.”
She responds, “Oh good, but a morning rub wouldn’t hurt, be a dear.”
>And that’s how I ended up working Anon’s shaft, through his wet padding, to orgasm, infront of dozens of witnesses.

While I have to give you points for your honesty with the title, I’m afraid I have to take them back due to trying to use reddit formatting on a forum :wink:

Not even entirely certain what you were trying to achieve formatting wise as even reddit’s post editor refuses to render that as anything but a giant blob of text. You’ll probably want to fix the formatting as it is currently quite unreadable.