Cold, dark and fear.

What happened to me? I opened my eyes but couldn’t see anything. The cold was bone-chilling; I was lying on a hard and cold surface. Was it stone?

“Emily, you can’t stay here; you will freeze,” I told to myself and tried to stand up. However, my body refused to respond. My legs and arms rested on the cold surface and my head was the only part of my body that obeyed my command and lifted from the surface.

Seconds later three small flames appeared above my head, and I could see a small round room looking like a dungeon. The surface I was lying on was the stone floor and I noticed several doors on the perimeter wall. The burning torches were located between the doors.

I didn’t have any idea where I was and how I got there. I didn’t recognize the room but there was a vague memory deep in my mind as if I had been here long ago. There was another mystery; why my body refused to react to my commands? Was I paralyzed?

My thread of thoughts was interrupted by a familiar feeling; my bladder was getting full. To my utter terror I realized I couldn’t stand up and relieve myself. All I could do was clenching my muscles and call for help.

“HEEEEEELP!” my voice echoed in the small stone dungeon but there was no reply at all. The attempt to clench my muscles failed and I felt the hot urine on my crotch and legs.

At that moment one of the doors opened and an unknown force pulled my limp body to it. I was flying through the door and heard it slam loudly.

Part 1

I opened my eyes and needed a minute or two to realize I had been dreaming. I was lying in my bed; a special anti-bedsore one. My body was paralyzed after overcoming polio earlier in the past; surprisingly I didn’t remember it.

“Good morning, Emily. How did you sleep?” my caretaker Michelle opened the door and walked over to my bed. She was a very nice woman, about 10 years older than me but she was like my mother for me.

“Morning, Michelle,” I smiled at her and paused when the breathing stimulator made me inhale, “I slept well but I had a very strange dream.”

“Nice, tell me about it, but let’s take care of you first,” she leaned down and removed the blanket. The stench of urine spread across the room. My diaper was soaked as usual. I couldn’t control my bladder and bowels.

“Let’s setup the breathing rate first,” she switched the stimulator to the DAY mode, and I felt my breathing getting quicker. Fortunately, I had a breathing stimulator with implanted electrodes in my chest muscles that controlled my breathing. It was much better than the older breathing machines.

“Now you need a clean diapee,” she always used the childish word, but I wasn’t angry at her. It was somehow cute. Michelle untapped the soggy garment and revealed my shaved crotch. She shaved it regularly to keep my hygiene and avoid the diaper rash. She took the wet wipe and started cleaning me. I liked the cleaning; it was very pleasant, and I closed my eyes. Michelle knew it and she rubbed my sensitive parts a bit more than necessary. I was getting a little aroused and Michelle knew about it. However, I didn’t have the courage to ask her for more.

When she finished changing my diaper, she took off my nightshirt and dressed me into a comfortable home wear and lifted me into my wheelchair.

“Let’s have your breakfast, dear,” she smiled, and I moved my head to the wheelchair controller and drove off towards the kitchen. The smell of eggs and bacon was spreading across the room. Michelle sat down next to me and commenced feeding me. I opened my mouth just like a small baby and ate my portion slowly, bite by bite.

“Tell me about the dream, dear,” she turned to me when we finished, and she cleaned up the dishes.

“It was quite strange, Michelle. I was lying on the ground in a stone cave and there were doors around the cave. All of sudden one door opened, and I was pulled towards it. As the door closed behind me, I woke up.”

“This is strange indeed. It’s been a dream only but still unusual. What if we looked at a dream book?”

“What? A dream book? Do you believe in that stuff, Michelle?”

“Emily, we don’t have to take it serious. At least we can have fun,” she laughed, and I joined her. After all, a little fun couldn’t hurt.

“Okay but there is no dream book in my bookshelves. What if we went to a bookstore and found a dream book there?”

“A good idea for a trip. However, we don’t need to buy the book; there is a local library nearby and we can borrow and read it. Let’s redress you and we can go. The library is close, so we don’t need to drive. I can wheel you there not to waste the battery energy.” Michelle wheeled me back to my bedroom and put me back onto my bed. She took of my pants and T-shirt and revealed the wet diaper. I had peed after the breakfast.

“Well, you should make a poopie before we leave,” she massaged my tummy tenderly and I felt a mass of poop filling the back of my diaper. I couldn’t push and needed help for the number 2. Michelle put a protection sheet under my bottom and opened the messy package between my legs. She cleaned me thoroughly and I closed my eyes. Despite the terrible smell I liked the cleaning process very much.

After the diaper change Michelle put tights and dress on me; I still wanted to look pretty. She lifted me into the wheelchair and pushed me slowly out of the house and towards the local library. That visit was my first one and I was getting curious about it.

The library was a small building near our park. There were few people inside most of the time and the librarian was a nice young man. As I asked him for a dream book, he looked surprised.

“Miss, are you serious? I don’t remember when somebody asked me for a dream book for the last time,” he smiled at me and seemed to be amused by my request.

“Of course, I am, but I’m not ready to believe everything I’d find there,” I repaid his comment and he laughed shortly.

“Okay then. Wait a moment,” he turned away and walked over to the big shelves. Five minutes later he returned.

“Would you like to read it here or would you like to borrow it?”

“I think I will read it here. I’ve had only one dream that requires an explanation,” I smiled back.

He passed the book to Michelle and she wheeled me to a small table where I could see the pages; she opened the book and browsed the pages to find a match.

“This is a hit; read,” she put the book onto the table, and I read:

“Cave with doors – you can make a decision and the doors are your options.”

“Oh, what does it mean?” I turned my head to Michelle and looked at her as if I expected an answer. However, she looked confused and shook her head.

“Sorry, miss, but you remind me of my sister,” the young librarian’s voice sounded behind my back.

“How so?”

“She is also wheelchair bound and I have to take care of her. Our parents died at a car crash and she broke her backbone. Fortunately, I wasn’t hurt seriously and I’m her only family. She is a clever girl and I imagined her doing the same you are just now.”

“Does she have strange dreams?”

“I don’t know but she likes to do crazy things for fun; she always smiles and keeps good mood.”

“Nice,” I smiled at him, “anyway we have found something that we don’t understand at all.”

“Well, consider it fun then,” he laughed again and turned away when a girl sitting on a wheelchair emerged from behind the shelves.

“Thomas, can you give me …” she stopped in the middle of the sentence when she noticed me, “oh sorry; you are busy.”

“No sis, I was only talking to our client. What do you need?”

“Oh, that can wait,” she wheeled towards my wheelchair, “Miss, you are new here, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I am,” I smiled at her, “Nice to meet you. My name is Emily, and this is my caretaker, Michelle.”

“Nice to meet you, too. My name is Angie,” she stretched her arm but stopped and retracted it when she noticed my limp arms on the chair rests, “Sorry, Miss Emily.”

“No problem and call me Emily only please. Your brother has told me about you already. Can I ask you what you are doing here?”

“Sure. I’m learning. I’d like to become an IT expert, but I can’t attend a regular school. Thomas takes care of me here and I spend my days reading books. What about you?”

“I had a strange dream last night and now we read a dream book.”

“Really?” she laughed, “This is fun. What did you learn?”

Michelle showed her the article about my dream and Angie stopped laughing and her face got serious.

“This is very interesting even if it looks crazy. Emily, do you know about some options you can choose of?”

“No idea, Angie. What could I choose? A food for dinner? My clothes? I don’t think the dream was about it.”

“I don’t know. Speaking about dinner; what if you visited us tonight? Thomas said you were all alone. We are all alone, too. Michelle, could you arrange it?”

“Of course, dear,” Michelle smiled.

“How so? Don’t you have any family?” Angie got curious and I was confused suddenly.

“No, I don’t … I don’t remember any family.”

“Oh, this is odd. What happened to you? Why are you paralyzed?

“It was polio, but I also don’t remember when and where.”

“Polio? I don’t know about an amnesia as a polio consequence. In either case, your parents or siblings would have found you and remind you of your past.”

“I don’t know, Angie; this is … a mystery.”

“Okay, we can think of it tonight after dinner,” she smiled at me.

“See you later,” she wheeled back to the shelves and Thomas followed her.

“Well, let’s go shopping for the dinner,” I turned to Michelle and she put the dream book back onto the counter and wheeled me out of the library.

1 Like

Part 2

“Michelle,” I turned to her while she was wheeling me towards the shop, “I can’t stop thinking of the dream book and Angie’s words. She asked me about my options to choose of and I didn’t find any answer except obvious everyday choices. Is there any really serious decision?”

“I don’t have any idea, dear. You have been living in your apartment and I’ve been taking care of you. This looks like a simple life, doesn’t it?”

“Right, it is too simple, but Angie took me aback with her question about my family. How is possible that I don’t remember my family and friends and don’t remember anything else from my past. When and where I was struck by polio?”

“Right, dear,” Michelle looked surprised, “I also don’t remember my past. I’ve been taking care of you but I don’t remember when I started.”

“Michelle, you spend 24 hours a day with your job. There is nobody else to do it. Wouldn’t you like to take a break sometimes?”

“I haven’t thought about it, dear,” her answer was quite surprising. Didn’t she have any family or friends? We were as lonely as Thomas with Angie. I couldn’t get rid of an impression that something was wrong with us.

As we approached the shopping center, I realized another issue. Where did we get money for our expenses from? A disability pension couldn’t cover them. I never asked Michelle about it, but it was another mystery of my life.

“Michelle, our expenses are quite high. We have been living in a comfortable apartment and you’ve never complained about lack of money. The care is quite expensive.”

“I’m a little surprised that you never asked me about it, dear. All our expenses are covered by the ALIVITA foundation.”

“What? What is it?” I was shocked by the fact that a foundation was spending its money for the expensive care of an unknown woman.

“No idea, dear. I have got a credit card and I can buy whatever you want or whatever I want. The debt is paid off regularly every month and nobody has complained about its amount so far.”

“Didn’t you ask about the foundation?”

“Of course, I did, dear but I all I’ve found is the name and I don’t have any idea about the meaning of its founder or any other details,” she shrugged.

Meanwhile we reached the food store and Michelle took a shopping basket customized for wheelchairs; it could be put onto the chair and on my lap. It was a comfortable solution for disabled persons. She wheeled me along the shelves and put the foods into the basket. If I could use my arms, I would be able to use that kind of basket, too.

“Michelle, what will we have to dinner? It should be some kind of celebration; the first visit of Thomas and Angie. We could have grilled salmon, for example.”

“A good idea, dear. Grilled salmon and vegetable salad are a delicious meal.”

“Maybe a bottle of wine?”

“Why not? However, take into account that you will pee a lot when you drink alcohol. You might need a diaper change during the dinner.”

“I think that Thomas and Angie will understand; Angie needs diapers for sure.”

“Okay then,” Michelle wheeled me to the wine shelf and picked a bottle of Chardonnay. I smiled; she seemed to know about wine brands.

About half an hour later we arrived at home. Michelle ushered me to the kitchen and unloaded the shopping.

“Well, time to prepare lunch, dear. Do you need a clean diaper before I start?”

“I think so,” I replied instantly. My diaper was quite full after the whole morning outside.

“Let’s change you then, my little girl,” she teased me as usual and I liked that game a lot. My condition was quite like a baby. Although I was an adult and didn’t accept the true baby role, her comment was somehow cute.

Michelle wheeled me to my bedroom, laid me onto the bed and changed my diaper slowly and tenderly. She also redressed me into the home wear, and we returned to the kitchen. She cooked lunch and fed me afterwards.

The afternoon was long, and I couldn’t wait until the evening. I watched a TV show but couldn’t focus on it. Michelle watched the show with me, but she left for the kitchen to prepare the dinner.

Finally, the bell rang, and Michelle hurried up to answer the door. I could hear Thomas and Angie from the entrance hall, and they appeared in the doorframe a minute later.

“Welcome,” I smiled at them widely and drove the wheelchair towards Angie and stopped next to her.

“Thanks, Emily,” she smiled back and wheeled herself towards the table.

“Take place,” Michelle turned to Thomas. He sat down and so did Michelle. I drove to the table as well and stopped near Michelle, so she could feed me.

“Michelle, you are a good cook indeed; the salmon is delicious,” Angie smiled at Michelle after the very first bite and Thomas nodded. They probably didn’t have many opportunities to that kind of luxurious meal; salmon was quite expensive. I almost asked Angie, but I bit my lip; it would be impolite.

Michelle opened the wine bottle and poured the wine into four cups. We had a toast to the lucky coincidence that led me and Michelle to the library.

After dinner we continued the talk from the morning. I didn’t remember my past and neither did Michelle. What about Thomas and Angie?

“Angie, I don’t remember my parents or anything else from my past and neither does Michelle. What about you and your brother?” I was quite curious about her answer.

“Well, I don’t remember the accident, but it isn’t surprising,” Angie shrugged, “The doctors explained me about amnesia after stressful experience.”

“Okay but you should remember your past before the accident, shouldn’t you?”

“Yeah … wait … I can’t recall any memories either,” Angie looked confused.

“How is it possible?” Thomas interjected, “I also can’t remember anything.”

“Hey! Has anybody had a dream like I had?” If I had a strange dream, what about the others?

Michelle, Angie and Thomas shook their heads.

Before the next questions I felt a stream of pee hitting my diaper. I wasn’t changed since lunch and Michelle was busy before dinner. Now my diaper was soaked.

“Michelle?” I turned to her and she nodded.

“Excuse us for a short moment,” she turned to Thomas and Angie and Angie grinned.

“Did the wine pass your body that quickly? Don’t worry; it happens to me too,” she giggled and reached between her legs and looked at Thomas.

“Well, we both need clean diapers,” I laughed, and Angie joined me.

“Thomas, take Angie to the guest room. There is a comfortable couch there,” Michelle pointed at the door to the guest room and wheeled me to the bedroom.

After our diaper changes we talked more about the strange dream but didn’t find any explanation. The evening was quite pleasant, and we planned more common activity.

When Thomas and Angie left and Michelle prepared me fore the night, I was getting curious about my upcoming dreams. I couldn’t fall asleep out of excitement and curiosity.

1 Like

Part 3:

“Morning, dear,” Michelle’s voice sounded cheerful like usual, “let’s begin another sunny day.”

“Morning, Michelle,” I opened my eyes and smiled. I loved the way Michelle woke me up. I sometimes dreamed about a handsome man that would wake me up with a passionate kiss but it was a dream only. Who would live with a paralyzed girl?

Suddenly Thomas’s face appeared in front of my mind eyes. He took care of his disabled sister, and he knew about that kind of care even if I was a challenge even for him. He didn’t have to feed Angie or take care of her breathing.

While Michelle was cleaning my crotch, I closed my eyes and enjoyed her touches. To be honest, I didn’t like diapers, but the diaper change was a pleasant experience. Again, I imagined Thomas and smiled.

“Hey, what are you thinking of?” Michelle’s voice returned me to reality, “According to the smile you are daydreaming.”
“Yeah,” I nodded and blushed and Michelle noticed my blush and laughed.
“You like the diaper change, and you would accept some handsome man rubbing your crotch or even more,” she rubbed my crotch even stronger. My blush revealed she was right.
“Will we go look for a boyfriend?” she teased me, and I laughed.
“No, dear, but we could go to a movie today. Some romantic stuff would be fine.”
“Well, why not? Let’s have our breakfast and we can go.”

After breakfast and the necessary diaper change Michelle dressed me and put me into my wheelchair and we headed towards the city center.

The movie was great, and I almost cried at some scenes. I really loved that kind of movies and I also liked to go to movie instead watching them on TV. I needed company and I felt good among other people. I rarely faced surprised or sympathetic looks; most people accepted my condition and didn’t ask me stupid questions.

While Michelle was wheeling me out from the cinema, I still was daydreaming about a prince when my thread of thoughts was interrupted by a voice:

“Emily! What are you doing here? Who is this person?”
I lifted my head and looked at an older woman. She was apparently taken aback.
“What am I doing here? I’m going home from a cinema, and this is my caretaker, Michelle. But who are you?”
“How so? I’m your mother! Don’t you recognize me?”
“No, madam. Sorry but you have to be wrong and consider me somebody else.”
“Emily! My Emily! How could you forget your mother?”
“I’m terribly sorry, madam. Are you okay? Don’t you need help?”

The woman kept silent, and tears appeared in her eyes. She turned away and left.

“Michelle, let’s go home please, and hurry up,” I turned to Michelle. She also needed some time to recover from the shock but she composed herself and wheeled me back home.

“Who was the woman? Was she insane? I really don’t recognize her,” we were sitting at the table, Michelle was drinking her own coffee and holding another cup at my lips.
“I don’t recognize her either,” Michelle replied, “but she looked sincere and sane.”
“It is a mystery indeed. What if we asked Angie? Let’s go to the library.”
“Right, a good idea,” Michelle nodded and stood up to get dressed. Half an hour later we were sitting in the library and Angie was listening to our last experience.

“I don’t know, Emily. She could be your mother but why didn’t you recognize her?”
“No idea, Angie. I don’t remember anything from my past, and you told me yesterday you didn’t either.”
“Emily, I have got a really crazy idea. Don’t laugh upon me please. Could you imagine that we live a part of our lives? It is just like a novel in more parts, and we have only one of them. Your parents and your polio and my accident are included in other parts.”
“Wow, it looks crazy indeed,” I nodded, “but it would match our condition. Our lives are somehow limited to a period.”
“Okay but how did your mother get into another part?”
“A book page went astray and ended into another part,” I laughed.
“Well, it’s easy in a book. Tear out a page and put it into another chapter. Our lives are not a book though.”
“Hey, Angie, I have got another crazy idea. What do you think about switching parts? Would it be possible to get to another part of the book to see the events in our past?”
“Why past only? What about future?” she was amused by the idea.
“Wait! The dream and doors!” I realized the possible connection.
“Right. The doors could be the parts.”
“Stop please. We are fantasizing though. All the ideas are crazy indeed. To be honest, I need a bit of fresh air to get rid of all this bullshit. Could we go to the park?”
“I’ll join you with pleasure; I have to tell Thomas,” Angie headed towards the counter.

Michelle wheeled me to the park and stopped at a bench; she sat down and relaxed. Angie and I were sitting in our wheelchairs and relaxing as well. The silence was broken by bird chirping only and I closed my eyes.

“Emily!” a kid’s voice woke me up. I opened my eyes and looked at a small boy about five. I didn’t recognize him.
“Hey, who are you? Sorry but I don’t remember you.”
“Emily, I’m Jimmy and my brother goes to the community.”
“Which community?”
“Did you forget? It is the Caring Heart.”
“Sorry, Jimmy. I really don’t know what you are talking about. You consider me somebody else.”

“Jimmy, come to mommy!” a female voice called the boy and he ran away. However, I was shocked. Angie and Michelle looked at the boy as well and they were confused.

“What the hell is going on? This is the second person that knows me, and I don’t know who they are. Today is a cursed day.” I shook my head.

Michelle was wheeling me back to the library and Angie was wheeling herself and following us. When we were about to say goodbye, Angie suddenly turned to me.

“Sorry to ask you a sensitive question. Thomas works in a library and I got some money from the insurance and I have a disability pension but your life has to be more expensive. Have you got a gold mine?”
“Nope, Angie. However, our expenses are covered by a foundation ALIVITA.”
“Why should a foundation cover the expenses of a disabled woman and her caretaker? What is its name? ALIVITA? Come in and I’ll try to find more about it.”

Angie switched on her computer and started searching the Internet.

“ALIVITA – a research program about an alternative life.”

“What? An alternative life? Angie, the ideas are not as crazy as they seemed to be,” I read the message over and over.

Suddenly I felt wetness between my legs. I looked down and realized the wet patch on my pants. I forget about diaper changes.

“Michelle, we have a problem,” I looked at my caretaker, “my diaper has leaked.”
“No problem, dear. I’ll cover you and we will fix everything at home.”
“Not necessary, Emily. Michelle can wheel you to the private room and go home fetch clean pants and all necessities,” Angie reacted.
“Thanks, Angie,” I smiled and Michelle wheeled me to the private room behind the counter. We spent about half an hour with small talk until Michelle came back.

In the evening I again couldn’t fall asleep and kept thinking about that “alternative life”. I was somehow curious about my alleged mother and Jimmy.

1 Like

Part 4

Cold, dark and fear!

What was going on? My body was resting on a soft surface, and I felt like a heavy stone was resting on my chest. I tried to push it away but my muscles refused to react. How did I get here? I wasn’t able to remember anything.

“Emily, try to think! You don’t belong here,” my mind was working hard but everything was hidden like in a fog. All I knew was my name and the fact that my body was paralyzed; however, I didn’t have any idea what had happened.

All of sudden three small flames appeared above me and I spotted a stone cave. There were several doors on the perimeter wall. The doors were somehow familiar, and a vague memory appeared in front of my eyes. I was here long ago, one of them had opened and I had passed it. However, I didn’t know what was behind them.

I also realized I was lying on a hospital bed and the heavy stone on my chest was some kind of machine. I was dressed in a hospital gown; my legs were kept apart by a thick diaper package. To my utter horror I felt the weight and wetness of the diaper; it was soaked.

My bladder was full, and I felt a strong urge to pee. I tried to clench the muscles, but my body again refused to obey my commands. The muscles relaxed and I peed myself like a little baby. The diaper probably leaked, and I couldn’t do anything but wait until somebody would change it.

One of the doors opened and I guessed it was a different door; my body was lifted from the bed and carried towards the open door.

“Emily! My little girl! Wake up.”

My mom’s voice made me open my eyes. I was lying in my hospital bed and a breathing machine was resting on my chest. I was paralyzed because of a polio attack when I was about 12. Since then I spent most of my life in this damn hospital bed. I couldn’t move a single finger. My mother and a nurse had to feed me, change my diapers, and massage my limp body to avoid bedsores.

“How did my baby sleep?” my mom asked me this question almost every day and I hated when she called me a baby. I was an adult woman, and my mind was clear, but my body was paralyzed. However, she liked the care and instinctively considered me a baby.

“Mom, I’m not a baby. Although … I need diapers and you have to feed … me, I’m still adult,” I asked her just like many times before. I had to make breaks when the breathing machine pulled on my chest, and I inhaled.

“I had a strange dream.”
“What dream, my … my little Emily?”
I described her the dream and she stared at me in utter surprise.
“Are you okay? Should I call a doctor?”

“No please; it’s been a dream only,” I hated her overprotective behavior. She would be willing to call a psychiatrist. I was quite curious to find out about that dream, but I didn’t know whom to ask. I didn’t have any real friends; my entire world consisted of home, hospital, church, and the Caring Heart community. My mom homeschooled me, so I didn’t attend school either. I sometimes asked mom to take me to the park, to a shopping center or to movies but her usual answer was like ‘the people are bad; they wouldn’t accept a crippled person’.

I desperately tried to remember my life before I overcame polio; that life had to be different, and I had to have friends and fun then. Unfortunately, I couldn’t recall any single person or experience. I also didn’t remember the polio itself. Something was amiss; was it caused by the illness?

“Okay, we can talk about it at the Community then. A meeting has been scheduled today. Are you looking forward to it?”
“Okay, mom,” I sighed. Mom’s mention of Community spoiled my mood. The Caring Heart community was a place where we met other disabled people. Unfortunately, most of them were disabled mentally and I couldn’t even talk with them. There were several exceptions, but their opinions were like my mother’s ones, and I didn’t understand them. Why didn’t they want to spend their time with healthy people? The community looked like an isolated island where the inhabitants liked to live there and refused any contacts to the surroundings. I felt lonely and abandoned and unhappy, and I couldn’t change it without help.

Without waiting for my answer, she reached to the breathing machine and switched it into the DAY mode. My breathing got faster. After that she lifted the blanket and noticed a wet patch beneath my behind.

“Oh, poor thing. You have leaked during the night. Mommy has to add an extra diaper the next night.”

I sighed when I heard the words. The package between my legs was thick already. Mom used cloth diapers and they were uncomfortable. My legs were held wide apart in the night. She sometimes mentioned the disposable ones, but they were too expensive for her, and she told something about a foundation; according to her the foundation was devil’s work.

Finally mom opened the rubber pants and removed the wet package from between my legs. I felt a big relief even if the urine reek spread across the room. She cleaned my crotch but she was careful not to rub more than necessary. I sometimes got a pleasant feeling and moaned, but she instantly stopped and gave me an accusing look.

My bedsheet was wet and mom needed help; she called the nurse and they lifted me from the bed and changed the sheet. After that mom put a clean diaper and clean rubber pants on me.

“Emily, wait a little until mommy brings you breakfast,” she switched on the TV and left. However, an infantile show was on, and I closed my eyes not to watch it. I rarely could watch some an interesting movie or an interesting show; my mom was strict, and she carefully picked the programs I could watch. I knew that she loved me deeply, but she still ignored my adult condition.”

About fifteen minutes later mom came back and she was carrying a tray with breakfast. There was cake and cocoa on the tray. It was a bit childish, but I didn’t mind it. Mom’s cakes were always delicious, and she was even famous by them. Our neighbors and the people in the Community kept praising her cooking skills.

Mom fed me the breakfast and I really felt like a baby. She was a loving mother indeed and I forgot about her behavior for awhile. However, this idyll suddenly ended with the last bite of my breakfast. Her words brought me back to the sad reality.

“Well, let’s prepare you now. It’s time to go to the Community.”

1 Like

Part 5

I sighed when mommy told me about the Community, but, on the other hand, it was one of few opportunities to see something else than my bed and my room. I loved Jimmy, Andy’s brother. Andy was a disabled boy about at my age; unfortunately, he was mentally disabled and was able to speak a few words only. Jimmy was a cheerful small boy and he often accompanied his big brother and liked talking with other community clients. Usually, he was the only person I could talk with. He was bright and more intelligent than most children at his age.

Mommy and the nurse dressed me into dress and tights. The dress was a bit short and the diaper package was clearly visible. I couldn’t arrange the skirt or move my legs to hide it. They placed me into a wheelchair and switched the breathing machine to a battery. The nurse prepared a large diaper bag with spare diapers and cleaning utensils.

About ten minutes later, a community van arrived. The Community offered that kind of service for transport between home, hospital, church and the Community. The van was equipped with a lifting platform and power socket for breathing machines, so the battery wasn’t discharged during the transport.

The driver helped mommy load my wheelchair and drove off towards the Community. As we stopped and the driver unloaded my wheelchair, my heart jumped when I spotted Jimmy; he ran towards my wheelchair and stroked my limp arm.

“Emily, it’s nice you have arrived,” he smiled, “how are you?”
“Thank you, Jimmy. We should talk together; come with me. I have a secret for you.”
“I can’t wait to hear it,” he was enthusiastic.

Mommy wheeled me to a table next to Andy and Jimmy was following us. Andy smiled at me and tried to utter a few words to welcome me.

“Mi – wi, me – glad.”
“I’m glad to see you either, Andy,” I smiled back, and he stroked my arm just like Jimmy did earlier. Maybe he repeated his brother’s actions.

“Emily, tell me the secret, please,” Jimmy turned to me when mommy left to talk with Andy’s mother. They were close friends and used to have coffee and talk.
“Yeah, Jimmy. I had a strange dream,” I told him the mysterious dream and his eyes went wide.
“Emily, this is a fairy tale though. I wish I would have that dream either,” he didn’t mind the hospital bed and diapers, or he didn’t listen closely.
“Wouldn’t you be scared by the dark dungeon?”
“Why; it is exciting, Emily. You could be there with me as well,” he continued and his next question surprised me a lot, “Weren’t you curious about the other doors? You were carried to one but there were more of them.”
“Right, Jimmy. To be honest, I’d like to know it.”

All of sudden, I heard a familiar sound and felt the back of my diaper getting warm. Mommy always used laxatives; I wasn’t able to push and void my bowels. She sometimes massaged me, but it was strenuous for her. Laxatives were easier to use but I hated the feeling and the smell.

My bladder muscles relaxed seconds later and the hissing sound revealed what was going on. I blushed but Jimmy smiled only.

“Did you pee and poop yourself? No problem, your mommy will change you,” I realized he experienced it often; Andy also needed diapers, “should I call her now?”
“Not necessary, Jimmy; I can wait until she comes back,” I smiled. It wasn’t for the first time and the diaper would hold it.
“Okay, Emily,” he paused, “You told me your secret, but I also have a secret.”
“Really? Tell me please.”
“Yesterday I saw you in the park, but you didn’t recognize me. You were sitting in another wheelchair, and a caretaker was sitting on the bench next to you.”
“How so? Yesterday I was at home and I don’t have any caretaker except a nurse.”
“It wasn’t her, Emily. I know the nurse that helps your mommy.”
“Well, we have two secrets then,” I grinned but I was taken aback. What was going on? Was it possible that the events were a coincidence or were they related?

“Hey, what are you talking about?” mommy’s voice sounded from behind me, “Jimmy, did you experience it indeed or is it your fantasy?”
“No fantasy, auntie Annie. I swear I saw her indeed.” He looked like offended that my mommy didn’t believe him.
“Okay, Jimmy; I believe you because I have the same experience. Yesterday I saw Emily with caretaker near the shopping center and I was sure she was at home. She also didn’t recognize me.”
“W … what are you saying, mom? Something is wrong. I was at home yesterday though. How could you see me there? Who was the caretaker?”
“No idea, Emily. We should ask our priest then but … you need a clean diaper first. Betty will help me.”

I sighed. Betty was Andy’s and Jimmy’s mother. I hated the diaper changes in public, but I could stay long in a messy diaper. Mommy could have waited at home rather than hurry up to the Community.

Mommy wheeled me to the family bathroom. There was a mechanical arm there and Mommy with Beth lifted me from the wheelchair and put me onto a changing table. Mommy pulled down my tights and opened the diaper and the terrible smell spread across the room. She took a wet rag and cleaned me thoroughly. The laxative had a small advantage; the stool was easy to wipe away.

After the diaper change mommy wheeled me to the priest to talk about the strange dream. He listened to my explanation and his reaction encouraged me.

“This is a dream only. Mrs. Riley, don’t worry about dreams. Emily, how did you feel?” he turned to me.
“I don’t know, father. It’s been somehow strange. What do the doors mean?”
“Many doors are many life paths, Emily.”
“Many lifepaths? How can I have another one?”
“Ask it when you have that dream again and don’t worry, child. Our Lord will protect you whatever paths you choose.”

“Father, I saw my Emily yesterday in a place where she couldn’t have been. She was at home and I saw her near the shopping center,” mommy told the priest her experience.
“Difficult to say; I believe you saw somebody else that looked like her.”
“I try to convince myself, but the similarity was immense. Anyway thanks, father. I try to forget the experience.”
“That’s the best you can do, Mrs. Riley.”

We returned to Andy and Jimmy, and I talked with the little boy even more. He always improved my mood.

“Emily, where have you been?”
“Jimmy, we asked the priest about my dream.”
“What did he say?”
“The doors are lifepaths.”
“What are lifepaths, Emily?” Jimmy was 5 and he didn’t have any idea of that strange word. I tried to find an example.
“Jimmy, can you imagine a life like a cat or dog? Or a girl? These are different lifepaths.”
“Oh, I’d like to run as fast as a dog and bark. It would be great. Is this a lifepath, too?”

“Basically yes,” I tried to explain the difficult term to him in a way he would understand. Everything could happen in his child mind; he lived in a fairy tale realm where he could change into a dog.

“Emily, try it out, ask the doors for a dog lifepath and bark at me when you meet me in a dog body.”
“Of course, Jimmy; I will bark at you,” I smiled at him happily.

Half an hour later mommy brought a snack and a cup of tea.

“Auntie, can I feed Emily?” Jimmy surprised mommy when he asked her.
“Of course, Jimmy, but not the tea. You could hurt her when you pour it onto her.”
“Okay,” he nodded, took the sandwich and fed me. He was a bit clumsy but nobody minded it; he probably fed his brother earlier. Mommy gave me the tea and I peed myself instantly when I finished drinking it. However, I didn’t say anything. The diaper was wet but I didn’t want another diaper change in public.

Later, when we were back at home, I couldn’t get rid of Jimmy’s words. The innocent child mind provided me with a useful advice. Was it possible to ask the doors to open and take me to another lifepath? After all, it was a dream only. Of course, I didn’t have any intention to turn into a dog. I was satisfied with my current body. I wanted to be able to walk and a less protective mother. She really loved me, but I wanted to be treated as an adult rather than a baby.

I decided to try the crazy idea and ask the doors; it was my last thought before my eyes closed.

Part 6

“Good morning, miss Emily. It’s time to get up.”

I opened my eyes and looked at my PAR, model 7.5. The PAR stood for Personal Assistance Robot. However, I hated to call it that way and used a more familiar name.

“Morning, Susie,” although robots didn’t have gender, I used a female name. PAR accepted it instantly; personal assistance robots were programmed to accept human names. PARs looked like humans, but they were equipped with more limbs than humans to ease their tasks.

My breathing stimulator reacted instantly when it detected my awake state and my breathing rate increased. This model was full autonomous, and no manual action was necessary. Another set of neural stimulators were activated, and I was able to sit up and even walk.

My body was limp after overcoming polio, but the neuro implants were controlled by a small computer and I could use simple spoken commands to move around and make gestures. Unfortunately, fine motoric was not possible yet and I still needed assistance. Nevertheless, the ability of walking was great in comparison to lying in a bed or sitting in a wheelchair.

I remembered the last dream. I was lying on a hard surface and several doors appeared above me. I didn’t know why but I asked a door to open; I wanted to walk, and I didn’t want an overprotective mother. Why the hell did I ask not to have an overprotective mother? To my utter horror I realized that I didn’t remember her at all.

“Susie, could you explain dreams?” Susie was an intelligent robot and she had access to all kind of information.
“Of course, I can, miss Emily; however you would need a clean diaper first. Come to the bathroom please,” Susie turned away and headed towards the bathroom.

“Command, sit up; Command, turn right; Command, stand up!” three command activated my muscles and I was standing near the bed. A small joystick was moved to my mouth and I could control my walking.

Despite the fact I could walk, I couldn’t control my bladder and bowels. I didn’t understand why; controlling the bladder and bowel muscles was simpler than controlling the torso and leg muscles.
The diaper between my legs was warm and heavy; I had peed a lot during the night. I entered the bathroom and turned my back towards the changing table.

“Command, crawl up; Command, lie down; Command, relax!” seconds later I was lying on the changing table. Susie spread my limp legs, opened the diaper and the urine stench spread in the bathroom. She cleaned my crotch and put a clean diaper on me and dressed me for the day. Her four arms were a big advantage.

The next commands made my body stand up and walk out of the bathroom and head towards the common rooms. I lived in a center for disabled people together with about twenty more mates. There was a PAR for every person there but there was no human staff there except an IT expert monitoring all systems. Unfortunately, the expert usually wasn’t around, and he worked mostly from home. Although we could talk with PARs, we still missed human company.

“Susie, I had a strange dream. I was lying in some kind of cave and several doors appeared in front of me. I asked a door to open. I wanted to walk, and I didn’t want an overprotective mother.”
“Well, a really strange dream, miss Emily. Let me check some databases …,” Susie smiled at me; it was a nice feature of the higher PAR models; they used facial expressions in addition to words.
“Miss Emily, the doors were life paths.”
“What life paths? Would you like to say that I could pick a life path by asking the doors? This is crazy!”
“Miss Emily, this is not my own deduction; I’ve found it elsewhere,” Susie’s voice sounded as if she was offended. The new PARs had their own emotions.
“Sorry, Susie; I didn’t want to hurt you. Can you try to find some info on my mother? Why did I think she was overprotective?”
“It is alright, miss Emily. Wait a little … sorry. There is no information available.”
“How is it possible? I must have a mother though!”
“I know, miss Emily but I can’t find her. Maybe some data is missing.”

Meanwhile we reached the dining room. I spotted Mark sitting in his wheelchair and eating breakfast. His PAR was nowhere to be seen; after all Mark was able to take care of himself most of the time.

“Good morning, Mark.”
“Morning, Emily. Would you like me to feed you today or will Susie do it?”
“It would be nice of you, Mark,” I smiled at him. He was a cheerful young man and he liked to take care of me.

Susie smiled as well and stepped back. Mark finished his portion and fed me. However, something was wrong.
“Mark, I had a strange dream this night,” I described the dream and he shrugged.
“This is a dream only.”
“I know but Susie told me about the doors and life paths. I wanted to walk, and I didn’t want an overprotective mother. Susie didn’t find any information on my mother. What is going on? What happened before the dream?”
“Nothing, Emily. You were here yesterday, and we spent a nice evening.”
“Okay but why did I mention an overprotective mother if I don’t know her? Wait … when did I come to the center?”
“No idea, Emily … oh, something is amiss. I also don’t remember when I came here and why I’m paralyzed.”

At that moment I felt a stream of pee soaking my diaper and recalled the former thoughts.
“Mark, do you have any neuro implants?”
“No, Emily. I have got my PAR and I don’t need anything else. Why are you asking me? You apparently have some.”
“Yeah, and I’m a bit surprised. My breathing and walking is controlled by them but,” I blushed, “my sphincters are not. It is much simpler than walking, isn’t it?”
“Definitely, it is. I don’t understand it. Wait … what did you say about the dream? You wanted to walk, and you didn’t want an overprotective mother. Your wish came true then. You can walk and you have a PAR. Susie is a pro and she is not overprotective.
“Well, that’s true but … why did I ask for it if I’ve been here for long? I apparently asked for a change in my life but I didn’t have an reason to do so. No change has happened.”
“Ask Susie. What if she can find something in the databases?”

“A good idea. Susie, can you ask for more information? Do you know when I arrived at this center?”
“No, miss Emily. You have been living here for long and so has Mark,” Susie replied instantly.
“Would you consider me crazy if I ask you to check the records? My mother hasn’t been found though. It is a bit odd even if can imagine some missing data.”
“I understand your curiosity, miss Emily. Let me check … wait … there are no records about you until today.”
“Oh, this is impossible. Mark remembers me, you remember me and according to the records, I wasn’t here. I don’t believe in another missing data.”
“Yeah, miss Emily. According to the records, your life began today. However, you were born somewhere, you have your family, you overcame polio and you arrived at this center. Something is wrong; as if your life was fake.”

“Fake? How? Do I live in some kind of Matrix?” at that moment I realized that I had asked for a life path and that path came true. My eyes went wide.

Part 7

“Yeah, miss Emily. It is quite possible,” Susie looked like she was I a shock. “Wait, let me check more data.”
“Miss Emily,” seconds later Susie’s eyes went wide, “there are no records on me and everybody here until today.”
“Susie, is it possible that we were literally created at the moment when I woke up? Somebody or something created me in this life along with you and along with our memories. No, it is too complicated. Something or somebody inserted this image into my mind.”
“Yeah, miss Emily but there has to be your real body and mind somewhere and everything around here is like your dream.”
“Right, Susie. Now I’m getting curious about this real body. Who am I? Am I a part of an experiment? Can I find it out?”

“No idea, miss Emily. If I exist in your mind only, I can’t help you and neither can anybody around here. However, you can ask for another life but I’m afraid you can’t ask for the real one.”
“Well, let’s stop now and forget it. I’m living this life and I can decide for another one when I ask for it. We can go to the park and walk for awhile.”

Susie grinned and stepped forward. Walking was a good way to start my bowel movement. The muscles in my torso were controlled by the computer to enable walking and they also massaged my bowels. It was a way to have my BM almost in the natural way without any unpleasant massage.

“Command, turn left. Command, stand up!” seconds later I was standing next to Mark and the small joystick moved to my lips. Mark grabbed the wheels and headed towards the exit, and I followed him. I was quite skilled at the control of my walking.

The park was large and there were numerous trees there. The pathways were well maintained, and we could walk comfortably.

“Good morning, Emily, good morning,” several of my mates were already walking around an we greeted each other. The morning routine began and several of my mates were walking for the same reason.

While walking, I kept thinking of the life I could ask for. This life wasn’t that bad, but I still could find some improvements. I wanted to be exact in my wishes to avoid unpleasant surprises. Anyway, I probably could ask for a change as many times as I wanted to. It sounded crazy but it seemed to be true.

My thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of my bowel movement and a mass of poop was filing the back of my diaper. However I didn’t want to be disturbed and my diaper change could wait until I’d finish my planning; it was a planning of my next life though. I suddenly got amused by the scene. I was walking with help of my neural implants, my diaper was messy and I wanted to change my life.

How should the new life look like? I didn’t have any idea of the former ones and I even didn’t know how many choices I had done in the past. All I had was the actual choice and the dream about the overprotective mother.

First of all, I didn’t want to life in an isolated area. I desperately wanted a life among healthy people even if I was disabled. A PAR was a very good options, but a human caretaker would be better.
What about the neuro implants? I definitely wanted to be able to breath on my own; I didn’t want the old breathing machine I saw in the books. The walking was nice, but it wasn’t very comfortable with the joystick and commands. Was there a compromise solution? Maybe some partial movement ability after the polio. As for the bladder and bowels control, I wasn’t sure. Should I ask for it? If I couldn’t go to the toilet on my own, I didn’t need it. To be honest, I somehow liked my diapers. The diaper changes were … pleasant?

“Susie, I need a diaper change please,” I turned to Susie when I summarized my thoughts.
“Okay, miss Emily, let’s go to the bathroom now; don’t stay in your messy diaper too long,” Susie smiled. She probably knew about my earlier accident, but she didn’t want to disturb me.

I followed her back to the bathroom and lay down on the changing table. As I commanded to relax my muscles and Susie started cleaning me, I suddenly got a strange and pleasant feeling. Did I like diapers and the changing process indeed?

Susie finished the diaper change and I returned to the park. I moved to the fence, sat down on a bench and watched the street behind the fence. It would be great to leave the Center and try out the life outside. The center wasn’t a prison, we could walk outside but our PARs were not allowed to leave the grounds. All I could do was walking outside and returning to the Center. I walked outside several times in the past, but it was not fun. Mark could leave the Center more often in his wheelchair.

Suddenly I realized that all my past and memories had been created and inserted into my mind. All the walks were not real. It was only an illusion of the past. On the other hand, I could ask for a new lifepath and have a new past. That idea was quite exciting.

“Emily, I listened to your conversation and it really looked crazy,” Mark’s voice interrupted my thread of thoughts.
“Yeah, Mark. Sorry, I completely forgot about you,” I smiled at him. During breakfast, Mark was sitting next to me, and he heard my every word.
“Don’t worry about it, Emily. According to that theory, I exist in your mind only. I am something like your dream.”
“A wonderful dream, Mark. I couldn’t have wished for a better one.”
“Thanks, Emily.”
A crazy idea hit me. Could Mark stay in my next dream? Would it be a good idea to ask the doors for it?

The rest of the day I kept thinking of the next dream and tried to get ready for that important moment. I somehow felt sorry for my mates and the Centre but I had to repeat over and over:

“They don’t exist, they don’t exist!”

“Can I ask for my new lifepath?” my voice sounded odd in the dark room. I was lying on the cold ground and three torches were burning above my head.
“Yeah, Emily. Go ahead but be aware of your limits,” the cold and impersonal voice echoed in the cave.
“Wait. What limits?” I was a little surprised. I remembered the last dream when I wanted to walk and didn’t want an overprotective mother. The voice hadn’t told me about any limitations and my wish had been accepted.
“The last time you had a simple request but this time you seem to be ready for more; that’s why I notify you about them.”
“Is this life a dream?”
“Basically, it is a kind of dream.”
“Can I ask about my true life?”
“You can ask about it bit you can’t ask for it. However, you can have almost everything you want in your dream.”
“Almost? What is the exception?”
“You will be disabled but you can have any possible kind of artificial support.”
“Can I keep some limited movement ability?”
“This is possible, Emily.”
“Can I live among healthy people and not in an isolated center?”
“Of course you can and you won’t have any overprotective mother. However, this is the end of your wishes for this time.”

A door opened and an invisible force dragged me towards it. I got a feeling that I had been dragged to that door earlier in the past.

Part 8

“Morning, Emily, it’s time to start another nice day,” Michelle’s voice sounded cheerful just like every day.

I opened my eyes and looked into the deep brown eyes of my caretaker. I wished I could sit up and hug her but my body was paralyzed and my left hand was the only limb I could move. Although I couldn’t lift my arm, I could move my fingers and use my mobile or computer. It was a very little freedom of movement, but I wasn’t paralyzed totally.

My breathing controller noticed my awake condition and switched to the day mode. It was the last model, and its sensors kept detecting my actual oxygen need.

“Morning, Michelle,” I smiled at her. Her smile and voice improved my mood every time, “You won’t believe me, but I had a strange dream this night.”
“This isn’t surprising, Emily. I’m kind of used to your dreams. What was it about?”
“Michelle, I was lying on a hard stone floor in a cave and somebody ask me about my lifepath, and I could choose it. There were several doors above me, and I was dragged into one of them. However, I can’t get rid of a feeling that I had been dragged into the same door earlier.”
“Really? You have been living here since you were released from the hospital, and I became your caretaker. I even don’t remember when it was. Anyway, let’s take care of you now and we can talk about your dreams later.”

She removed the cover and the urine smell spread across the room. My diaper was soaked after the long night. I knew about the newest neuro implants controlling the sphincters but they were useless if I couldn’t stand up and go to the toilet. Moreover, the diaper changes were … pleasant?

Michelle untapped the diaper and started cleaning me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed her care. She always rubbed my privates longer than necessary and I moaned every time.
“Emily, don’t forget about your … date today. Thomas will come in the evening, and I’ll take Angie to the movie.”

I grinned at the word date. Thomas was the librarian in our local library. We met by chance about a month ago and we became friends. His sister Angie was paralyzed after a traffic accident.

Thomas and Angie were very nice people, and they often came to visit us. We even spent two weekends together. I also spent some nice time with Thomas alone and I fell in love with him. The first kiss was like an electric pulse, and I peed in my diaper instantly. He probably noticed it and smiled at me.

Today was the day D for me. I should spend an evening with him. My heart was beating fast when I imagined that evening. What would happen? Will he have sex with a paralyzed girl?

Michelle cleaned my crotch and put a clean diaper on me and dressed me for the day. I chose a T-shirt and a denim knee length skirt. We planned a short shopping trip to buy a nice dress for the evening. After breakfast and another diaper change Michelle wheeled me to the shopping center.

“Are you sure in your … condition?” The shop assistant looked a bit surprised when I asked for a sexy dress, but I insisted on my wish:
“Miss, I want to look sexy tonight. Which condition? I’m still a woman and a paralyzed girl can be sexy just like a healthy one, can’t she?”
“Sorry, okay,” she showed my a nice short dress. I realized that my diaper pack would peek out of the dress but I didn’t mind it at all. Maybe it would be even sexier.

“Miss, can you help me with trying out the dress?” Michelle asked the shop assistant, and she faced a surprised look. However, the young woman nodded; she realized her mistake earlier and wanted to be as nice as possible.

Michell wheeled me into a larger changing room and the shop assistant helped her undress me and put on the dress. As expected, the diaper pack was clearly visible. The short skirt didn’t hide it; my legs were kept apart by the diaper.
“Sorry miss, but you look like an overgrown toddler,” the shop assistant laughed shortly but I didn’t get angry at her. After all, she was right.
“Yeah, miss, I look like one exactly, but I don’t mind it at all. I’ll spend the evening with a nice man and he knows about my condition,” I grinned at her.
“Really? To be honest, it’s kind of cute,” the shop assistant smiled at me, and Michelle nodded.

“Can you turn me to the mirror so I can watch myself in the new dress please?” I asked Michelle and she turned my wheelchair. I had to control myself not to laugh when I noticed the diaper package peeking from beneath the short skirt. On the other hand, it was arousing. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine Thomas touching the diaper or … I blushed and my heart was beating faster again. I suddenly felt an intense urge to pee and a massive stream of urine soaked the diaper. I peed myself out of arousal and my face turned deep red. The shop assistant turned away, but Michelle watched me, and I could swear she was amused.

They dressed me back into my T-shirt and skirt and Michelle wheeled me to the cash desk to pay for the dress. She paid and we hurried up home.
“Emily, I’m sorry but you looked cute in the short dress and your blush was even cuter when you wet your diaper,” Michelle whispered to me while pushing the wheelchair.

As we arrived at home, she put me onto my bed, pulled down my tights and untaped the diaper. The urine smell spread across the room, but it was mixed with another smell.
“Dear, the love juices smell more intense than your pee,” Michelle smiled and started wiping my crotch. This time I felt a strong arousal and moaned aloud.
“Hey, wait. What will you do if Thomas touches your legs, let alone your sensitive areas,” she grinned.
“I can’t wait it, Michelle,” I sighed and tried to calm down. It was quite hard when every touch aroused me. Finally, she finished and pulled up the tights and my breathing returned to normal; the breathing controller worked perfectly and adapted to my level of arousal.

The rest of the day passed quickly. Michelle cooked a delicious lunch and we had a short afternoon nap. After that I was watching TV while Michelle was doing the preparations for the evening. She laid the table for me and Thomas and made a dinner and put a bottle of wine onto the table.

“Emily, let’s change your diaper and put the dress on you,” Michelle wheeled me to the bedroom and took of my T-shirt and denim skirt. My diaper was soaked, and the smell of my love juices was apparent again. I was quite impatient. Michelle dressed me and she even put some lipstick and makeup on my face. I watched my mirror image and almost fainted; I was looking at another girl; a sexy one; the diaper pack was peeking from beneath the skirt and I looked somehow mischievous.

At 6PM the bell rang, and Michelle went answer the door.

More adult contents

Part 9

My heart was beating fast when I spotted Angie in her wheelchair and Thomas pushing her inside. He was carrying a flower bouquet and smiling at me.

“Good evening, Emily,” Angie also smiled at me and I repaid the smile. She was wearing a beautiful dress as well even if her skirt was wider and longer.

Excuse me for awhile; I’ll get dressed,” Michelle left the room and headed towards her bedroom. Thomas put the flowers into a vase and pushed me to the table and kissed me passionately. I returned the kiss, and he hugged me tightly.

“How are you tonight, love?” he asked me cheerfully, “You are beautiful today,” his sight slid down to my short skirt and the diaper package peeking from beneath it. As I noticed it, he blushed a little and gave me another kiss, “Sorry but you look a bit … cute.”
“I can’t be better when you are here, love,” I replied instantly, “we have a wonderful evening ahead.”
“So have we,” Angie grinned, “I’m looking forward to the movie and Michelle invited me to a dinner afterwards.”

I grinned only; Michelle wanted to provide us with more time in the evening; I guessed that Angie knew it, too.

Michelle emerged from the bedroom and she also changed her look a lot. The loving caretaker changed into an elegant lady. She pushed Angie’s wheelchair out of the room and five minutes later we were alone with Thomas.

“Thomas, your blush was cute as well, when you stared at my diapers peeking from beneath the skirt. Can I be curious and ask you about Angie? She also needs diapers. Do you have to change her every time? How did you get used to changing diapers of a girl? Wasn’t it arousing for you?”

“Emily, you can ask me about it. Angie usually needs my help; sometimes she is able to change her own diaper, but it is strenuous for her.

When she was released for the hospital, I had to learn everything. I really got aroused even if she was my sister. However, she didn’t have any sensation below her waist and didn’t get aroused at all. I got used to the diaper changes without any sex-related thoughts.”

“Well, I do have my sensations down there,” I laughed and winked at him.
“Should I test it?” he laughed and reached down to my nylon clad legs. He stroked my thigh and I was overwhelmed by a wave of arousal. I moaned aloud and a stream of pee soaked my diaper.
“Hey, wait. Your little girl is hungry, and she’s just wet herself,” I laughed again, “we have the entire evening ahead.”

“Okay, love,” he reached to the diaper package and pressed it against my crotch, “Really. Do you need a clean diaper?”
“Not necessary; it will hold one more wetting,” I shook my head.
“Well, let’s have our dinner,” he took the bottle of wine, opened it and poured the wine into two cups, “Cheers,” he put one of the cups to my lips and drank up his.
“Cheers,” I sipped form my cup, “I have to drink slowly, love.”
“I know,” he put the cup away and started feeding me dinner. I opened my mouth obediently and enjoyed his loving care.

“It’s different with Angie, she can eat on her own,” I turned to him between two bites.
“Yeah but it’s fun and even a bit sexy, love,” he smiled and stroked my hair.

The dinner was delicious; after all Michelle was a skilled cook. When we finished, Thomas let me drink more wine. My mood improved; a small cup of wine was enough for me.

“Love, would you mind if I sit you on my lap instead of the wheelchair?” Thomas asked me when I finished the wine.
“Of course not,” I smiled, and he lifted me from the wheelchair and sat me on his lap. He had to hold me tight, but it was pleasant for me. Instead of the hard surfaces I was leaning to his soft body. Thomas’s hands were holding me and stroking my breasts. His member hardened and I felt it even through the diaper pack.

“Love, don’t you want to put me down on my bed; it would be more comfortable for you and for me,” I whispered in his ear and he nodded.
“The door on our right,” I navigated him while he was carrying me in his arms. He lay me down on my bed and sat down. His left hand stroked my breasts while his right hand moved to my legs. A new wave of arousal overwhelmed me. My heart sped up, the breathing controller detected my arousal and my breathing rate increased.

“O – o – o,” my moaning got loud and I felt a cramp in my abdomen. Even if I couldn’t control the muscles and move on the bed, I enjoyed the feeling. Meanwhile, another stream of pee soaked the diaper.
“Love, your little girl has peed herself again; you must change her diaper,” I grinned at Thomas when I caught my breath and the controller slowed down the breathing rate.
“Well, it will be a pleasure for me,” he grinned at me and turned to me, “let’s undress her first,” he grabbed the hem of my dress and pulled it up my torso slowly.

“Hey, do you undress Angie when you are changing her diaper?” I teased him. Of course, it was not necessary, but I didn’t mind that unusual change.
“Why should I undress her? You need a special care,” he played along, pulled the dress over my head and unclasped my bra. Now I was naked from waist up. He kissed my nipples and his hands moved to my pantyhose. Every touch was like an electric pulse and he waited and pulled it down my legs very slowly.

“Let’s remove this smelly garment,” he untapped the diaper and the mix of urine and love juices smells spread across the room. My crotch was all wet and exposed.
“Love; hurry up please; I can’t wait anymore,” I begged him, but he shook his head.

“Wait a bit, you need a thorough cleaning from outside and inside,” he turned to the cabinet and pulled out a package of wet cleaning wipes, “let’s begin from outside,” he took the wipe and started cleaning my crotch. However, he was rubbing more than necessary and my arousal started growing again.

When my moaning got louder, he finally pulled the wet diaper from beneath my behind, put a clean one there and spread my legs, “now we can do the second phase.”

Thomas stood up and started undressing himself. I kept watching him and wished him to be quicker. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do anything but wait while my heart and breathing were speeding up.
After a seemingly endless waiting he was naked and lay down slowly. His member entered my body and his body rested on top of me but her supported himself by his arms. He started moving and my vaginal muscles convulsed involuntarily, controlled by my arousal. I couldn’t move but he did his best.

Five minutes later my body convulsed in a massive orgasmic cramp and I experienced a great climax. Was it the first one in my life? I didn’t remember another one.

Part 10

I needed a minute or two to catch my breath; the breathing controller did its best to prevent me from passing out. Thomas lifted himself and stood up next to my bed.

“Thanks, Thomas; it’s been great,” I smiled at him but a familiar smell hit my nostrils and I blushed deeply. During the climax my muscles convulsed and I pooped on the diaper. All my pleasure went away instantly and tears appeared in my eyes. How would he react?

“Hey, what happened?” Thomas leaned down and kissed me, “my little girl needs another cleaning.”
“W … what? Aren’t you disgusted?” I stared at him.
“Why, love? I had to change Angie’s dirty diaper many times and a poop can’t disturb our pleasure. Anyway, I should clean you again now.”

He took another wipe and rubbed my crotch first. There were my love juices there. Afterwards, he lifted my legs and cleaned my messy behind and pulled the messy diaper from beneath me. He was strong and skilled. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the cleaning.

“Hey, I’ll call you the next time I’ll mess my diaper,” I joked and he laughed. I got aroused again when he was putting the rash cream on my crotch.

After diapering me, he started dressing me again. I felt his fingers on my legs while he was pulling the pantyhose up my legs. My bra was a bit challenge, but he managed it as well.

“Okay, love, let’s go back to the table now; there is some wine left,” he put the dress on me, lifted me from the bed and carried me back to the living room. I was sitting on his lap again and he poured two cups of wine.

About an hour later, Michelle and Angie came back from the movie and dinner. Angie was smiling happily.

“It’s been a great evening; bro. Michelle is a super companion, and the dinner was delicious,” she turned to Michelle and took her at hand.
“Thanks, Angie. I’d say you needed this kind of relaxation,” Michelle grinned, “Thomas, Angie needs some clean clothes now. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her. Stay with Emily,” Michelle wheeled Angie to the guest room.
“Okay, love, we have a bit more private time now. Michelle takes care of Angie,” I smiled at Thomas.

Fifteen minutes later Michelle wheeled Angie back. Angie was wearing a pair of my pants and one of my T-shirts.
“What happened, sis?” Thomas gave Angie a reproaching look.
“Nothing bro. I’ve leaked. The evening was great and I kinda forgot to check my diaper condition. It isn’t for the first time though. Don’t look at me this way and focus on your love,” she grinned, “hopefully you’ve had a great time.”

“Of course,” I answered and grinned at her, “a great time indeed.” My messy diaper experience appeared as a nice addition.
“Thomas has been assigned an important task,” I added, and Thomas laughed this time. His strict gaze was gone.
“I should change her messy diaper,” he reacted and laughed even more. I blushed a little but seconds later the blush faded away.
“Well, Michelle can change my diapers in exchange,” Angie interjected.

“Even better, let’s arrange a caretaker exchange party,” Michelle had an excellent idea, “We can stay here, have a delicious dinner, drink wine, watch a movie and have lots of fun all together.”
“A great idea,” Thomas poured the rest of wine into four cups, raised his cup and help mine to my lips, “Cheers!”

Later in the evening Thomas and Angie left and I was alone with Michelle.
“Michelle, it’s been great. Now I’m thinking of my last dream. Did I really choose my own lifepath? If so, I don’t want to have more dreams; I can’t imagine a better lifepath.”
“That’s nice, Emily. Let’s go to bed now.”

Michelle wheeled me to the bathroom, gave me a warm bath, diapered me and put me to bed. My eyes closed. The day had been the best one in my life. If I could choose the moment to die, this one would be my choice.


“Dr. Warner; here you are today’s report of the Dreamhall project,” the young assistant passed a sheet to an older man sitting at his desk.

Virtual scenes history of the test subject #24:

Object from scene #3 were inserted into the scene #7 and caused an emotional reaction of the test subject and the choice of the scene #3.

Negative experiences in the scene #3 summoned another reaction but she overreacted and chose the scene #11

The test subject somehow revealed the experiment background and she chose the scene #7 repeatedly and directly and isn’t willing to change it.

“Well, well, she is really our best test subject,” the older man nodded and sighed, “Unfortunately, we can’t use her anymore.”

He stood up and headed towards a large hall. The side wall was framed by a row of hospital beds. All persons on the beds were in coma and their bodies were spiked with tubes. Their heads were covered by helmets and a thick cable was connected to every helmet.

“This is our test subject #24, Dr. Warner. Look at the video records,” the assistant stepped to the display and started replay.
“Fascinating, Annie. However, it’s time to finish the experiment.”
“Dr. Warner, she is a living person though. Do you want to commit a murder?”
“Let’s call it euthanasia rather than murder. Mrs. Maxwell is suffering from sclerosis multiplex in the final stage. Nothing in her body is working except her brain and she has accepted the participation of this experiment.”

“Dr. Warner, can you explain me about the experiment. I’m new here and I’m an assistant only but I’d like to know more about why you are doing this.”
“Annie, this is a psychological experiment about human behavior. Mrs. Maxwell was disabled for years, and the experiment revealed her reactions in different environments.”
“But … what is the outcome of it?”
“It is important for the families and caretakers; we can help them a lot and show them the reactions of a fictive subject in fictive environments. In that way they can change their own behavior and relationship to their disabled family member. Let’s call it some kind of simulator.”

“Right, Dr. Warner, but I’m not able to switch off the machines,” Annie stepped back.
“Of course, dear. It is my task,” the old man sighed.

“Thanks a lot, Mrs. Maxwell,” he stepped forward and pressed the OFF button.