Divine Punishment (Some Swearing)

Story I started quite awhile ago…. There’s some random Japanese thrown in there and so if you are confused, asked. (Or if you know the proper word for it, please tell me) And sorry for the weird formatting… I just copy and pasted it from my deviantart account.

“Kara, that’s the third time this week!” Mom sighed, rubbing her eyes. “You’re seventeen and still wetting the bed. What’s wrong with you?” I looked at the ground, squirming. “Well?” She looked at me expectantly.

“I don’t know.” I replied.

“Well, if it happens again tonight…” She stopped mid-sentence and turned, shaking her head and muttering to herself under her breath. I watched her go, waited till she left the room, then stripped down to nothing and threw the clothes into the corner. For some odd reason I began to cry. I didn’t try to wet. I didn’t mean to. It just kind of happened. I pulled on a new pair of underwear and a new pair of pants, then stripped the beds of the soaked sheets. I threw the sheets into the corner as well. This evening the same sheets would be back on my bed. I would thank mom. Then I would climb into bed and hope to God that it wouldn’t happen again.

I walked downstairs, where mom was already sitting at the kitchen table. She didn’t look up until I sat down at the table with a bowl of cereal. “I have a question for you.” She said, setting down her newspaper.

“Yes?” I replied, feeling my stomach clench, then fold in two.

“How many times do you use the bathroom at school?”

“I don’t know.” I lied, looking in the cereal bowl.

She held her hand out. “Give me your phone.” She demanded.

“I don’t have it.”

“I said give me your phone, Kara,” she demanded, more forcefully this time.

Reluctantly I reached into my pocket and fished my cell phone out and handed it to her. She flipped it open and asked, “Who do you have the most classes with?” Her eyes were on the screen but when I didn’t answer she looked up to stare me in the eyes. “Are you going to answer me?”

I wanted to melt into the background as I replied, “Karrie.”

“I don’t mean your girl friends. Which one of your guy friends?”

“Kira,” I said, almost mutely.

“Kara, there is a difference between-” My mother started, glowering at me from
across the table.

“I know!” I practically screamed, slamming my fists on the table. “Kira is a boy! I’ve known him since I was like eight!”

“How come he’s never been here?” She asked, narrowing her eyes.

“He has. You’re just never home to notice.” I looked at my feet, feeling the sting of my words. There was silence for a second but then I heard her press one of the key’s on the key pad. I looked up and she held the phone to her ear.

“Ah. Oyaho. Is Kira there?” She’d dialed his home phone. A bit of anger grew in my stomach, but I bit my tongue and didn’t say anything. “Oyaho, Kira-kun.” Silence. “I just have a question for you.” Silence again. I fidgeted in my seat. Kira was my best friend, but would he lie for me? “This is going to sound odd, so please excuse me, but how often does Kara use the bathroom during a normal school day?” She paused again, and I watched as her expression changed rapidly from anger, to surprise, then anger again. She finally settled on baffled. “That seems like so much though-” Why were there so many long pauses? “Ah, I see. Arigato Kira-kun.” She took the phone away from her ear and looked at me, snapping the phone shut. “Kira claims you go to the bathroom in the same class almost every day, in all three classes he’s with you.” I breathed a slight sigh of relief. He’d lied for me. “Is this true?”

“True enough,” I shrugged, spinning the spoon around in the mushy cereal.

“What’s that mean?”

“I probably go less than that. He misses those classes a lot so he’s only there on the days I have to go really bad.” I hoped my cover would be enough. She eyed me, like she didn’t believe me but said nothing more. She slid my phone back to me and picked up her newspaper once more. “I’ll see you later. I still have some stuff to get together.” I picked up the bowl of mush, washed it down the sink and left.

Fifteen minutes later I sat in the passenger side of Kira’s truck, my backpack at my feet. “What was that call all about this morning?” Kira asked, pulling out of the driveway.

I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

He rolled his eyes and sighed, “You wet again last night didn’t you?” I felt my face got hot. Of all my friends he was the only one who knew. And yet, being my best friend, it still made me blush in embarrassment.

I nodded.

“Did you remember to bring extra clothes today? I don’t think the nurse will keep lending you them. She’s not a department store. In fact if you keep going to her she might even put you in dia-”

I held my hand up in front of his mouth. “Don’t even say it.” He looked at me for a brief second before moving my hand back to my lap.

“Well it’s true. She has this huge supply in her back room.”

“How would you know?” I asked, glaring.

“Had to go back there and grab something for her. She was a bit busy.”

“Doing what might I ask?”

He looked at me, and smirked slightly. “Are you sure you want me to answer that?”

I gasped and grinned back. “No way! Who was it?” I felt like a girl trying to weasel out some juicy gossip from her best friend.

“Shidanai. Some girl I’d never seen before. She looked like a freshman, or maybe a sophomore.” I slumped back against my seat. Of all the people he didn’t know it was the girl in diapers.

“Was she cute?”

“God you horny-” He stopped himself, shaking his head. “I guess. She was kind of slender. Shoulder length, mahogany colored hair. From what I caught of her breasts, probably a B or C cup at most, but looked pretty firm. Her body, or what I could see of her stomach, was pretty muscular.”

“Hot damn.” I grinned.

“What are you asking for anyway?” He pulled into a parking space. We’d reached the school. “You have a girlfriend. And the only way she could get any hotter was if she were the sun herself.” I opened the door and hopped out.

“Uh-huh. I know, but whose to say I’m not allowed to look?”

“Like every rule in the dating hand book?” He climbed out too and slammed his door shut, locking it behind us as we made our way to class. “I mean, what if Natasha found out? She’d be devastated!”

“Girls are just too emotional!” I laughed. “It’s not like she’s never eyed another boy before.”

“This doesn’t bother you?” Kira asked, stopping mid-step.

“Meh. Not really. I’ve seen her checking out the chicks, too. It’s a thing people do.” I assured him. “You wouldn’t know how things work anyhow. You’ve never dated anyone.” His eyes hardened a little. “Joudan! I’m just kidding.”

“Whatever. See you third hour.” He waved goodbye and made his way in the opposite direction of me. I shrugged and stepped into class. I sat down in my usual spot next to the window and as usual barely heard the bell when it rang.

My English teacher, Niko-sensei, stood at the front of the class, a stack of papers a foot thick cradled in his arm. “Oyaho mina.”

“Oyaho gozaimasu, Niko-sensei.” The responded, standing.

“When I’ve called your name please say ‘here’ and then be seated.” He started down the list but when he got to my name, I didn’t hear him until someone next to me shoved my shoulder and pointed. “Kara-kun, are you here?” He asked, his eyes narrowed.

“H-hai!” I replied, sitting up straight in my chair.

“Well good. I’ll ask that next time you pay attention.”

“H-hai.” I slumped in my seat, my peers giggling all around me.

He looked away, finished roll call as I melted back into my seat. For once I tried to pat attention but almost as soon the lecture started my eyes wandered out the window. About halfway through the hour someone tapped me on the shoulder and threw a folded piece of paper onto my desk. Quickly I unfolded it. R u still coming Sat. night? I turned to see Natasha smiling at me. I grinned back and nodded.

“Ki-ra-kun!” I flinched and turned to see Niko-sensei’s eyes boring into my back. “Is there something you’d like to share with the class?”

“Iie sensei.”

“Then please do keep your eyes forward. If I have to ask you again I’m sure the principle would love to see you.” Why was it always me who got yelled at? Class seemed to drag on forever and by the end of it my knee was shaking so bad one would have thought I was having a seizure. I had to pee and bad. There were still five minutes to go and he had a rule about not giving passes the last ten minutes of class. There’d been more than once I’d almost wet myself. Stupid bladder, I thought trying hard to keep from bouncing the pink organ around.

When the bell rang I jumped from my seat and ran out the door to the bathroom. I’d made it but I couldn’t get my pants undone. It started to leak, and then gave out. Warmth spread in my crotch area and down my legs. I moaned, “God dammit!” My voice echoed off the walls as a tear rolled down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away. It was no time to cry. I grabbed my backpack and walked out. Thankfully for me the nurses office was right next to the bathroom.

I slipped inside the dark office, and the nurse looked up and nearly sighed. “An accident?” She asked, looking back to her work.


“Go ahead.” She nodded towards the bathroom. “Did you remember clothes today?”


“Good. Will I be getting the other clothes back soon?” She asked. There was a slight teasing in her voice. I nodded before slipping into the nurses bathroom. Inside I slipped out of the wet clothes then quickly changed into the back-up pair I had.

“Nira-sensei he-”

“Iie. It’s happening almost daily. Todays the first time it’s happened so early, though.” I peeked around the corner to see her phone pressed to her ear. “It was just a few minutes ago he came in-” Silence. “Yes he’s still here. Would you like to speak with him?” For the second time that day I felt my stomach clench in two. “Kara-kun!” I stepped out from around the corner into the light of her desk lamp. "Your mother would like to speak with you."I took a nervous step forward and then another. “Come come. Hayaku.” Hastily I took the last two steps forward and held out my hand. She placed the phone in it, got up and walked into the back room.

“Mushi mushi?”

“Kara.” She sounded furious.

“Yes?” Suddenly my throat felt parched, like I’d been in the dessert for days without water. It took all I had to keep my voice steady. Relaxed.

“Why is your nurse calling to tell me that my seventeen year old son had an accident?”

“Because it’s true.” I heard her gasp.

“Kara! I can’t believe you! You’re not a baby and you should learn to grow up. For God’s sake. I can just imagine what your father would say.” The disappointment in her voice etched it’ way into my head and wouldn’t erase. “Do you know how upset he’d be that his nearly full grown son is acting like a three year old?”

Tears filled my eyes when I retorted, “Well it’s not my fault! Maybe if you actually spent more time with me at home, or, gasp, take me to the fucking hospital to see what the hell is wrong with me!” I’d never used such coarse language on her before and almost regretted it now.

“I-is that really what you think?” She sounded on the edge of tears.
I took a deep breath and said as little emotion as possible, “Yes. Now I have to get to class.” I hung up the phone. Hot tears spilled down my cheeks like an overflowing glass. Why did she have to bring up dad, now? Dad wouldn’t care. He was a dead man now. Or at least to me, leaving me when I was only nine years old. Nira-sensei stepped out of her office and placed her small hand on my shoulder.

“Now now. Don’t cry. You’re seventeen.” It was supposed to comfort me but I only cried harder. I was a failure. To me. To everyone I knew. The nurse wrapped her arms around me and brought me into a breathtaking embrace. Her hand petted my head and she whispered comforting things to me until, finally, I stopped sobbing.

“Now you need to get to class. I’ll write you a pass. Give me your clothes and I’ll throw them in the wash.” I wiped away the last few stray tears as she handed me a yellow slip of paper.

“Arigato gozaimasu.” I thanked her, bowed, handed her my clothes and left. I arrived to Science nearly fifteen minutes late, walking in right in the middle of the teachers lecture. I handed her the note and sat in my usual spot next to Kira. He had a look on his face that said where the hell were you? I gave a half shrug taking out my notebook and a pencil to take notes. “Kara-kun do you have your paper that was due today?” The teacher asked, looking down her long beak-like nose. I nodded and reached into my backpack and stopped short. Something soft and plastic crinkled lightly in my hand as I moved it over the surface. A diaper sat on top with a note attached, scrawled quickly in the nurses handwriting. Kara-kun, I know this would be humiliating but if you wet before gym you can change into this and put your shorts over it before you leave. “Kara-kun I haven’t all day. Do you have it or not?” I quickly shoved the white plastic to the bottom of my bag and took out my science folder. With shaking hands I grabbed it and handed it to her. I refused to do wear it. I refused to.


I stared at the crotch of my pants. It was sopping wet again. This was the first and only time it had happened more than once in a day. Ever. The dark spot kept widening until it finally stopped, again dripping down my legs. It was seventh hour and gym had long passed. I had no pants to change into. I had nothing. My hands shook as I reached into my pockets and pulled out my cell phone. It took all I had not to just slump against the wall and never move again. I texted Kira’s phone, praying he’d answer. [i}Kira it happened again. Second floor bathroom. Closest to stairwell 4.[/i}

I slid against the wall to the floor, landing with a light squish. I felt dirty. Disgusting. Like I should dig myself a grave and stay there. Kira answered a minute later with, K. B right there. Don’t move.

I’d be crazy if I did! I screamed to myself before texting back, bring my gym shorts I closed my phone and set it on the floor beside me, the tucked my head between my knee’s smelling my own piss and holding back my tears. It was five minutes before I heard the familiar pattern of footsteps on the tile floors.

“Kara? Doko?” I let out a shabby sigh of relief.

“Kochi.” I replied. I saw a pair of feet moving under the door, stopping right in front of the stalls door. “It’s open.” The yellowing door opened slowly, and another head peeked around the corner.

“Daijobu desu ka?” He kneeled in front of my me, gazing at me eye to eye.

“Do I look okay to you?” I asked bitterly, staring at the floor. He sighed and shook his head.

“Guess not. Here’s your shorts.” He handed me the black and blue stripped shorts then prepared to stand up. “You’re just going to have to go without any underwear until you get home.”

“That’s disgusting!” My head snapped up.

“Then what do you suggest you- I – do?”
I pulled my backpack closer and pushed it to him. “In the bottom.” He looked confused but opened the bag and dug to the bottom.

“I don’t see-”

“Look HARDER!” I nearly screamed.

“Won’t you just tell me what it is?” He asked, taken aback. I shook my head hard and fast. Still confused he looked a little harder, running his hand along the bottom. He was about to say he couldn’t find what ever it was again until he felt something cold, and kind of plasticy. Slowly he pulled it out and gasped. He turned the diaper over in his hands and frowned. “You told me you’d never wear one of these.”

“Well what option do I have right now?” I spat. “I’d rather wear that,” I nodded in the diapers general direction, “then go without anything underneath.”
Kira shook his head.

“And I thought you were tenacious.”

“What would my mother say if I came in with my pants soaked like I’d gone for a swim?” I cried. It felt like I swimming in a pool of tears and piss. The urine was beginning to itch and it hurt. “Na, hayaku o-kudesai? I can’t sit much longer like this.” For a moment he just stared and I thought he wasn’t going to do it but finally he sighed.

“Lay back.” He commanded. I turned away from the wall and lay on the filthy, germ infested, ground. With skillful hands he unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down over my hips and my underwear soon came after. “Perhaps you shouldn’t wear jeans to school anymore,” he suggested, placing the sopping clothes in a pile behind him. I glared although in the back of my mind I knew he was right. With perfect precision he cleaned up the genitals as well as he could with toilet paper, throwing it in the toilet behind me when he was done. He unfolded the diaper, told me to lift my butt, and slid it under me. The fabric made me flinch a little. It was cold on my bottom, and perhaps a little itchy as well. He forced my legs apart as he pulled the front of the diaper up. With one hand he held the front up and with the other undid the tapes then resecured them around my waist. By the time we’d finished, there was only five minutes of class left.

He helped me sit up. The extra bulk between my legs was an alien feeling and was one I hoped I would never have to get used to. He handed me my shorts and then leaned against the wall. “So what’s it feel like?” He asked, bringing one knee to his chest.

“What does what feel like?” He gave me an incredulous look then looked at my white clad buttocks. “Oh. It’s alien. And uncomfortable. It’s thick and I can’t close my legs right.” I told him, pulling my shorts up around my waist without standing. “Is it really noticeable?” I asked, nervous about going into the hall.

“Not at all,” he lied. It was indeed noticeable. It bulged especially where his private parts were and around his butt.

“Come on. Let’s start heading out. The bell’s gonna ring in about a minute.” I stood up, and attempted to close my legs but could only get them closed to within about four inches of each other. Kira stood up, too and couldn’t keep his eyes from wandering to his best friends backside. We walked out of the bathroom just as the final bell rang. I could hear the plastic crinkling as I walked and I hoped no one else could. There was a slight waddle to my walk no matter how desperately I tried to walk normally.

Kira watched his friend waddle through the halls, pushing past people, a few barely brushing against him. Amazing he hasn’t noticed it yet. Their hands I mean. They’ve all done double-takes for God’s sake. He continued to watch and was startled when some one, a girl, called out, “Kira-kun! Kara!” The both of us stopped and turned. Natasha was pushing her way through the crowd, smiling from ear to ear. When she was close enough, and when there was no one in the way, she jumped and clamped her long, slender arms around my neck. Her pink lips brushed against mine and she smiled. “I’m glad I caught you!” She breathed, nuzzling her nose into my neck. “You bolted out of seventh hour so I was wondering what the hell happened to you!”

“Oh. Nothing important.” I answered, turning so she couldn’t see the pink burst into my cheeks. She eyed me and then laughed, letting go.

“Anyway I gotta hurry or I’ll miss my bus! Ja na!” She waved and ran away and I watched her firm legs pumping, feeling my dick harden.

“Come on. Ikkou.” Kira was already headed in the other way. Hesitating I followed. On the way home, Kira commented, “A few people accidentally hit your butt when you walked past them. Didn’t you feel it?” I shook my head no. “Weird.” We sat in silence for the remainder of the time.

When he pulled into my driveway I asked suddenly, “Hey. You wanna stay over tonight?” He didn’t answer right away but then he smiled and nodded.

“Iio. Sounds fun. I gotta call my mom and let her know. I’ll be in in a few minutes.” He pulled out his cell as I removed myself from the truck. I walked up the cement sidewalk to my house and unlocked the door, letting myself in. Mom wouldn’t be home until eight or nine so I had to choose what to make for dinner. Almost as soon as I got in the door, I kicked off my shoes and raced to the bedroom, closing the door. Mom had already put the sheets back on my bed. Arigato, I thought, throwing my backpack next to my desk.

In a hurried manner I pulled my gym shorts down to my ankles and began to tear one of the tapes off but stopped. It wasn’t good to waste things. If I’d been a different person in a different household I wouldn’t have cared. But my mom had taught me never to waste, no matter what it was. Sighing in defeat I taped it tight again. Going to my closet I grabbed a pair of black sweatpants and threw them on over the diaper.

When I went back out to the living room Kira had already situated himself on the couch and was flipping through channels on the T.V. “Is your mom okay with it?” I asked, plopping down next to him, putting my feet up on the glass table. He swatted them down, he was a neat freak, and nodded. “Sweet. So what do you wanna do?” He shrugged.

“How about a movie?” He suggested, crossing his ankles.

“We haven’t got anything good.” I replied, leaning my head against the back of the couch. “Or at least nothing we haven’t see a million and one times.”

“Let’s go to blockbuster than and rent something.” I stopped short. Diapers in public? What if someone noticed? What if someone saw? It was a risk I was willing to take. I didn’t want to watch anything we had.

“Sure. Let me grab my wallet.”


A few minutes later we were back in the cab of his truck, headed towards the local blockbuster. On arrival we stepped into the freezing store, heading right for horror section. On the first shelf that came into view I saw my all-time favorite, not-so-scary-movie Thirteen Ghosts. I quickly grabbed it and pushed it into Kira’s face.

“We are SO watching this!” He laughed and took the movie. We decided on two other movies, IT and Dawn of The Dead. In the checkout line we laughed and joked, each poking fun at each others differences. (Save for my little problem, thankfully.) Along with the movies we also picked up a few bags of candy such as: gummy bears (Kira’s all time favorite snack food), a few bags of popcorn with little butter, and some peanut butter M&M’s, (one of) our favorites.

When we reached the front desk the woman took the movies and my card then looked at me suspiciously. “We have a new policy here that you must be at least seventeen years of age to rent rated R movies, sir.” She held out her hand. “I’d like to see a valid ID please.”

I looked at Kira, and then back. “I don’t have one.” Her eye twitched and she handed me back the movies and the card.

“Come back when you have someone over seventeen with you-”

“Ma’am,” Kira intervened, “I am seventeen and so is my friend here.” He dug out his leather wallet and pulled his drivers license out from the first pocket. Her pale blue eyes flitted between the two of us as she took the ID and looked it over, finally sighing when she was satisfied. She held her hand out and took back the movies and my card.

“That’ll be $30.14,” she said dryly, holding out her hand.

“Shibatta!” I groaned. I only had twenty-twenty-five with me. “Kira do you have a ten with you?”

Rolling his eyes Kira grabbed a ten from his wallet and handed it to the woman with my twenty and quarter. She handed us back the elven cents she owed, bagged our things and we were on our way.

Back home, Kira resituated himself on the couch, but not before popping in Thirteen Ghosts. In the kitchen I placed a bag of popcorn in the microwave and went out to the couch with Kira. Ten minutes later the movie had started. Just like we’d done for I don’t know how many years, I laid down on the couch, my head on a pillow that sat in Kira’s lap. His arm draped lazily over my side, his hand in mine. For some reason we’d never found this odd. It just kind of happened. Natasha knew we did it and she thought it was cute. The popcorn bowl rested against my chest.

At around seven and halfway through Dawn of the Dead I asked Kira, “So what do you want for dinner?”

“Are you really hungry? We ate all that candy I feel like I’m going to burst if I eat anymore.”

I did a half shrug with my right shoulder. “Meh. I was only asking. We could order Chinese or pizza or something.” He gagged and made a face.

“If I see one more slice of pizza I’m going to lose my top. I’ve eaten so much pizza lately I feel like I’m swimming in a pool of pepperoni and sausages.” I snorted in laughter. He gave me and dangerous eye and continued, “And Chinese doesn’t sound very good. Why don’t we wait awhile to eat?” Rolling on to my back I nodded. Another hour or two couldn’t hurt.


Kira and my body pushed up against each other on the couch. We’d fallen asleep together, again. Just like every time he came over and we watched a movie. During IT we’d all but forgotten about dinner. By the end we’d fallen asleep. Mom came home roughly around midnight and switched off the T.V., smiling at the image of the two boys. She took a quick snapshot and went to bed, happy.

Divine Punishment (Some Swearing)

Hmm interesting and kinda sweet, although the plot is same old, same old. The english/grammar is definitely one of the better ones aroud. If this degrades to a gay love/furry-type story, though, I’m not reading it any longer.

Also, i thought it was Ohaiyo, not Oyaho…

and when coding, by the way, the closing bracket is ] not }. You might want to change that.

I’m surprised you didn’t mention any more wetting or other related issues after the 2 characters left school. And I thought R was for 21 and above?

One thing…

“Not at all,” he lied. It was indeed noticeable. It bulged especially where his private parts were and around his butt.

you suddenly switched POVs to Kara in the third sentence.

My interest is mildly piqued as to what’s next…

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Thanks. I know it’s the same ol’ same ol’ but oh well… And I pride myself in my grammar… :smiley: (Though it’s most definitely not perfect) And it probably is spelled Ohaiyo but different people spell it different ways. People on fanfiction.net spelled it the way I had. And sorry about the coding thing. I was hurrying last night… >.< Anyway, thank you for the comments, and taking the time to read this. I appreciate it.

(Two questions though… what is furry-type story and what do you mean R?)

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I didn’t know Kira and Kara can be a guy’s name.

Did his mother put the diaper in his bag?

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Thank you for sharing your opinion. I know a lot seems out of the ordinary, and I apologize for the overuse of a language I’m not fluent in. I think that this story might not be quite ready for the world yet, and if there is any way to permanently remove it, it would be appreciated.

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…no need for such an extreme measure. You can just amend it as you feel like.

‘Furry’ stories are those with talking animals with humanlike behavior (like Sonic the Hedgehog) and, most of the time, in diapers (or maybe that’s just on this forum). Most Japanese-themed stories end up as one, for some reason.

And the ‘R’ thing was in reference to video rating. Where I’m it, R means you have to be >21 to watch, and I think that’s pretty much universal (either that or 18 ), so i don’t get why the store clerk was asking for proof they’re 17. But then again, maybe i’m wrong.

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If he wants his characters to be Japanese, that’s his prerogative…

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I’m not arguing with that. I’m just expressing my sincerest wishes for it NOT to turn into a furry story, or for that matter a fanfic of some sort.

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Oh. And to those who wondered, where I live, you only have to be seventeen to see rated R movies, and you can check them out at any age as long as your parents are okay with it.

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Nope. 17 last time I checked. (I see movies a lot) I’ve been able to see rated R movies with my brother since he was 17…. But different places have different rules.

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Kids can see R rated movies just as long as they are accompanied by a parent or guardian. I think you have to be 17 to see it on your own though because rated R means Restricted and it may not be appropriate for kids under 17 so they need a parent or guardian with.

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I’ve had people buy me tickets and then gone in to see them myself so… Depends on the theater.

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So far I liked it. Kira and Kara are boys names in Japan. I will say that Kara had me thinking he was a girl till they started talking about his girlfriend. For Kira I assumed it was like Akira, with the masculan ‘ier’ sound common to Japanese names, for Kara I was pronouncing it Kare-ah, so just a heads up its a little confusing.

To echo some of the other notes; I live in Japan and I’m pretty good with the language. It is ‘Ohaiyo’ (Good Morning) when you spell it in romanji, but on the phone you almost exclusively say moshi moshi or O-ha! which is a shortening of Ohaiyo, like how we turn hello into hi. The way you use Hai (yes) and Iie (no) is a bit confusing as well, since you’re sort of turning your dialogue into engrish. I can see your trying to pay homage to the Japanese language and/or culture, but to make it more readable, I’d recommend dropping its use.

Also… what’s wrong with furry stories =P They’re not all about sonic the hedgehog… and fan-fics can be good if done properly (big IF though).

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I didn’t SAY they were all about sonic, just using Sonic as an example :slight_smile:

And I just personally don’t like fanfics. I don’t want random images popping up in my head when I watch anime :slight_smile:

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Thank you CS_Fox… I’m glad you told me, although I have seen it spelled both ways, more often than not Oyaho. (That’s the way it is in my dictionary at least)And as for what you say on the telephone I know that. :slight_smile: It just didn’t happen to come to mind when I wrote this. And I very much apologize for the confusing name… I’ve been pronouncing Kara like Car-ah… Or something like that. I am glad you enjoyed it even the least bit.

And to casper88- I’m sorry you don’t like fanfictions, but to ease your worry this is neither fanfiction nor furry-story. :slight_smile:

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Isn’t Ohaiyo ALREADY a shortening of “Ohaiyogoyaimatsu”? (spelling?)

Do they shorten things that are already shortened over there? Dam… I wish I’d have kept up on my languages…

Divine Punishment (Some Swearing)

Ack, sorry to derail like this…

Adding gozaimastu is like adding polite emphasis onto a word. It’s not really part of Ohaiyo proper (if that makes any sense). Ohaiyogozaimastu - a very good morning to you; arigatogozaimastu - thank you very much; etc.

Also, I’ve been looking at Oyaho a couple of times and I can’t come up with how it could be used for Ohaiyo. Japanese romanji phonetics are based off of English (in World War II we effectively began an occupation of Japan that we maintain to this day) and oy is not oh. Sorry, don’t want to nit pick, just do me a favor and go tell the other forum that some stuck up fox said they were incorrect.

Fun fact; my spelling of gozaimastu comes up as a misspelling in firefox and its recommendations are three variations of the word masturbation.

Divine Punishment (Some Swearing)

CS_Fox, it wsan’t on a forum… It was in an English-Japanese DICTIONARY. :smiley: Pretty lame, I know. And I won’t argue. If that’s the correct way, I’ll keep it in mind. (And I just thought it was Ohaiyo Gozaimasu not gozaimastu… But whatever.)

Divine Punishment (Some Swearing)

well yeah i like this story, i like the japaneese in it, sorta reminds me of how (some of us) use irish over here. mainly using english with little irishisms thrown in. but yeah keep it up i am looking forward to reading more. lol the last part in the story where the two dudes fall asleep together, i thought was a great addition. it really shows that they are the best of friends.

and vickie, my take on the changing was that it was plutonic like. he shows at the end that they obviously are very very close and although when i first read the changin part i thought ok thats a bit gay, but after reading the whole way through it stopped feeling weird and felt sorta natural. but thats just my take